Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. The story contains graphic descriptions of sex between men. Anyone who is forbidden by law to read such material must stop now. This story is being posted to the Nifty Archive solely for the enjoyment of its readers.
Chris is experiencing the frustration that often bothers writers. When he started this project he had no idea writing this story would take so long. He expected to sit down and knock it out in a couple of hours. Ha, ha! Writing this story is providing much more enjoyment than expected. He needs more time to complete his 'masterpiece'. That is a luxury he does not have at the moment. He still has a job but is beginning to long for more time to do things he wants to do. His life priorities seem to be shifting.
Fantasies For Life: Chapter 4
Those months in Taiwan were a golden time in Rick and Glenn's lives. It would always be remembered but never be repeated. Their assignments ended and they returned to the wonderful Unites States of America. There is nothing like living abroad to make one realize just how wonderful and great a country the USA is. Rick was accepted back into college and transferred nine credits from the courses he took in Taiwan. He returned to Air Force ROTC, was commissioned upon college graduation and went to pilot training. While in college he met a beautiful and charming woman named Madge who was a year behind him in school. They eventually married and produced a beautiful son and daughter who were the lights of Rick's life. Rick's Viet Nam flying experience was rather harrowing and caused him to come to grips with his own mortality. Being shot at will do that. After 20 years, Rick retired from the Air Force and was hired by a major airline.
A few months after starting his new job he received an invitation to his high school class' 25th reunion and decided it was time to go. This would be his first since graduation. It could be fun.
Rick was able to get a room in the same hotel where the reunion was booked. He arrived the night before and spent the next day driving around town seeing what was the same and what had changed. He ran into a few old friends and really enjoyed himself. The formal activities were scheduled to start at 7:00 PM, and since he was staying right there in the same hotel he arrived a few minutes early. He was not surprised to find reunion activities being run by the same classmates who ran things when they were in school. Some things just never seem to change. He mingled, met, shook hands with and hugged old friends. Rick felt his spirit lifted to see so many of his classmates. Their common experience bonded them in a way he never knew existed. Rick was consistently greeted with that same reaction: 'You look great!' Or ' Look at you!' Years earlier Rick learned to take better care of his body. He exercised and changed his diet. He was slim and trim. His forty-something body was one any twenty-something would love to have.
As he stood talking to a former girlfriend and her husband he heard a familiar voice behind him.
"Hi Rick." The voice said. The voice was so deep and resonant it made his testicles vibrate. It always had that effect on him. He knew who it was before he turned around.
"Hi Todd." Rick said as he looked into a familiar face and extended his hand. For a second, the image of him lying on his back and Todd driving his cock into him flashed through his mind and Rick felt embarrassed. Then he decided he had nothing to be embarrassed about. He was just unsure how to handle this meeting of his first and only male lover after so many years and after the way they parted. He chose to play it straight, as thought events in the past were forgotten and would remain there. Just then, the class president began striking a knife against his water glass to get everyone's attention. Formalities were taken care of and everyone was seated for dinner.
Because Rick and Todd were standing together when this started, they sat next to each other. During dinner Todd, Rick, and those seated near them shared personal histories. Rick learned Todd was a lawyer and wife number three had just left him. He had three children from his first marriage and none from the other two. Before the evening was over, Todd found Rick alone and walked over to him.
"Any chance you could come by the house for a visit?"
"Of course." Rick answered. He was not quite sure if he should but figured he could handle anything at this point. He was no longer infatuated with Todd and he certainly was not going to screw up his life now. "Where do you live?"
"I'm up on the ridge north of town. It's a big white house with gothic columns. Say about 7:00 PM?"
"Oh, yeah, I saw that this afternoon when I went to visit Jim and Linda. Nice cabin." They chuckled. Rick marveled at how far both men had come from such humble beginnings. The most expensive, exclusive houses in town were on the ridge and Todd's was the largest. "Roger and Sue invited me out to dinner tomorrow but it will be early so I could be at your place by 8:00 PM. Will that be okay?"
"Sure. I'll leave a light on." The two men parted and continued mingling with their classmates.
Rick rang the doorbell. Looking around, he was awe-struck at the size of the house. The front door was massive. It opened.
"Five minutes late! Around here, that's early." Todd said with a poker face.
"What? You answer your own door?
"Butler's night off." Todd said laughingly as Rick stepped into the house and gazed at the two-story grand entry with a sweeping stairway to the second floor. Todd closed the door behind him. "Follow me back to the library. Everyone else is gone for the weekend."
Rick was beginning to question whether this was such a good idea as they walked down a dark hall and into a walnut paneled room with book shelves on three walls and a large bay window on the fourth. Even though several lights were turned on, the room seemed dark. Rick was already on guard. Earlier in the day he speculated on the reason Todd wanted to talk to him. He vowed he would not, under any circumstance admit that he was still interested in men. His interest in Todd was finished. The life he had built was filled with sufficient challenges and rewards and he was comfortably satisfied.
"What's your pleasure? Todd asked as he stepped behind the bar and sat out two glasses. Rick was beginning to wonder if he was getting paranoid because he instantly saw the potential double meaning in Todd's question. But he dismissed the thought.
"Gin and tonic, if you please." Rick decided he would wait for Todd to initiate the conversation. He was there at Todd's request and he suspected there was a purpose to this invitation. Todd handed Rick his drink and motioned him to be seated in the luxurious leather sofa. Todd sat in a matching leather club chair facing Rick.
"I owe you an apology. Several apologies, actually. And that is why I invited you here."
"I don't..." Rick started to interject but Todd held up his hand to stop him.
"Please. I've been practicing this speech for years. Now is the time for me to deliver it for real. You see, about 26 years ago I did something for which I have been forever ashamed. I tried to advance my own self worth with some worthless boys by attempting to compromise our relationship. I bragged that I knew someone who would 'put out' and they jumped at it. I should have been smarter than that. Fortunately, you must have seen through my ploy. I didn't know what to do when you said you didn't do that any more. Later I was so glad you did.
"But that wasn't the worst thing I did. The worst thing was denying that I loved you." Rick sat totally still in a state of semi-shock. "I will always remember that afternoon in your bedroom when I forced you do something I am ashamed of." Todd continued. "When it was over, I was totally confused. That's when it hit me that I loved you and I got scared. I also loved the sex. That made me 'queer' and double scared me. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed my clothes and ran. I was in denial. I couldn't face you. I couldn't face myself. I avoided any contact with you, pushed you away. Then my family moved and I thought that would simplify my problem. But it didn't, really. At college I had a brief affair with another student but it was a failure. I was trying to recapture what we had but that couldn't be done. So, I gave up trying and went 'straight' so to speak. Just lately I realized that my marriages were doomed to failure because I kept trying to recreate our relationship.
"Eventually, justice wins. Most of the time, anyway. As a lawyer I know that. Three failed marriages and two therapists weren't enough. Five years ago my doctor, you know Jim; he found prostate cancer and I had to have it removed. Now I'm impotent. What more is there to say?" The last sentence was a rhetorical question that required no answer. Rick observed a lone tear slowly sliding down Todd's right cheek. They both sat quietly for several minutes then Rick stood, deeply moved by Todd's confession. He walked over to Todd, took his hands, pulled him out of the chair and embraced him. They stood like that for what seemed like an hour. It was really no more than two minutes. It only seemed long because Rick's mind was sorting out his feelings and reaching conclusions about how he was going to proceed. It's amazing how fast the mind can work sometimes.
"Todd?" Rick spoke as he released his old friend, backed away and held him at arm's length with his hands on Todd's shoulders. They could not go back to the past but Rick wanted to try to soften the emotional pain Todd was suffering. "I never had any bad feelings toward you. I've always thought well of you. This may surprise you but that afternoon in my bedroom was the best memory of my life, except for my kids being born. The way you reacted that afternoon didn't make any sense to me then. Now it does; I understand. Know this, you are the only man I ever had sex with. Any kind of sex. And those memories have always been good ones. I finally realized our parting was meant to happen. We weren't supposed to be together forever. Sure, I would have liked a more friendly breakup but that's life. I would value your friendship now if you are interested."
Todd gazed into Rick's eyes. "Yes. YES!" Todd wrapped his around his old friend and began to sob softly, but still in control. "Let's talk." He said as he pulled Rick to the sofa and they sat at 45-degree angles so they could face each other. They talked until after 2:30 AM. They shared their deepest feelings, worst fears, and greatest hopes as only two real friends can (except Rick continued to conceal his attraction to men). It became obvious to both men that the sexual attraction they shared in their teens was gone. They were just good friends now. The next day as Rick watched his old home town disappear in his rear view mirror leaving so many old friends behind, he promised he would do a better job of keeping in touch. That would be easier with all the email addresses he had collected.
Rick's career progressed nicely. He rapidly advanced to the captain seat. On one trip into Dallas, just after leveling off at cruise altitude, a flight attendant entered the cockpit and handed him a business card. "A gentleman in 3-B gave me this card and said he thinks he knows you." The captain's and first officer's names were identified during the welcome aboard announcement.
Rick could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand up and a bolt of electricity shot up his spine. "Oh my God! YES!" Rick turned to his First Officer. "Stu, since this is your leg I need to go to the back, okay?"
"Sure. Take your time. Just leave Alice here with me." They all laughed.
Rick got out of his seat, squeezed past the Second Officer's eat and left the cockpit. As he walked toward the back, a tall black man stood up and blocked the aisle. Some of the passengers in the first class section witnessing this began to get nervous. Much to their surprise the captain and the black passenger lunged at each other and embraced.
"DARYLL!" Rick yelled. "RICK!" Daryll yelled back. The two former roommates and good friends held a brief reunion in the middle of the aisle on an airplane at 31,000 feet. They wiped the tears from their eyes as the other passengers looked on in astonishment. Rick took the time to explain to the other passengers in First Class the Daryll was a long lost roommate and this was their first meeting in over thirty years. Everyone applauded, happy to see old friends meet. Rick had about three hours before departing on his next flight and Daryll had a two and one half hour layover so Rick took Daryll to a private lounge where they visited, got caught up on each other's lives and made sure each had a good address and phone number for the other before they departed for separate destinations. Daryll left the Air Force about the same time as Rick and enrolled in college. He got a degree in accounting and landed a job at one of the big accounting firms in the nation. He managed to get a master's degree a few years later and was now a partner in the firm's head office in New York City. Daryll said Rick was a key factor in his success. All those conversations they had as roommates gave Daryll knowledge he needed to understand and function in a society different from the one he grew up in.
Due to an unusual set of circumstances, Rick advanced to the captain seat of a B-747 and flew all over the world. His home life was undergoing a transition of its own. The kids graduated from college and got married. Whether it was the 'empty nest' syndrome of some other reason, Madge began to complain about the career she had sacrificed for the family and for Rick's career. Also, she claimed she never really liked sex and would be happy if it stopped. At the same time, Rick started really discovering the internet. He loved to surf as often as possible. It was a window to knowledge. Wanting to satisfy a long burning curiosity he began searching for anything GAY. When he found some gay chat rooms called m4m he was shaken to discover he was not as alone as he thought; there were many other men just like him out in the world who were lonely and wanted male companionship. Being practical, Rick also realized some of the men he chatted with were probably not who or what they said they were. Never the less, his sprits felt buoyed by the associations. Once, he came very close to meeting one of his chat buddies but both lost their courage at about the same time and called it off. The most rewarding information he learned from a chat buddy was about the Nifty Archive. The first time he went to the website and began reading some of the stories, he was totally rejuvenated. Life was good again. The stories provided him a never-ending supply of fantasies for his self-abuse therapy sessions. That seemed to give him the relief he needed to hang onto his marriage. Keeping his marriage alive was important. After so many years and two children, Rick and his wife were really good friends. They truly liked and cared for each other, except for sex. Neither one was interested in divorce; they had suffered through too many of their friend's divorces to know how completely counterproductive the process is. Also, the parties to divorce seldom find the happiness they think will come their way. Rick had always been faithful.
Chapter 4 has been more difficult to write than the others. Perhaps that is why it is so short. Chris knows Chapter 5 will be much longer. He is comfortable that the story is well on its way and decides to submit Chapter 1 to Nifty. He is nearing the end and can probably finish in a couple of weeks. Chris sees a big change coming in Rick's life.