Family Matters, Chapter 5
"Yes, Laura, I'll get there as soon as I can. Bye. "
"What is it? Is it Sarah?" Michael asked.
"Laura said she seems to be going into labor. It's too early, he'll be premature."
"Let's get dressed and I'll take you. I'll stay out of the way, but you're not gonna be in the best of shape to drive."
The men quickly washed up a bit and brushed their teeth as they dressed again to go to the hospital. Landon was clearly upset and might not have been able to concentrate well enough to get there safely.
Laura met the men by the maternity ward. She tried to reassure Landon as the three made their way toward the labor room. Michael was going to stay out, but Landon pulled him in to see Sarah for at least a moment.
"Thanks for being there to take care of Landon when he needed you," Sarah said. "Please take good care of him always."
Michael nodded. His mind was in turmoil. He had just "taken care" of Landon and felt somewhat guilty for doing so in light of all of this. But, he managed a smile and squeezed Sarah's hand reassuringly before excusing himself.
Landon donned the scrubs that a nurse hurriedly tossed his direction, and cleansed his hands thoroughly with disinfectant soap before following her to the delivery room. He held Sarah's hand and kept talking to her in a calm voice even though he was anything but tranquil on the inside.
It wasn't long before the doctor said: "I see his head. Give a big push!"
Sarah did as she was told. Seconds later, Corbin Brooks took his first breath and expressed his extreme displeasure at having been thrust into a big, cold world. His healthy cry was a good sign.
As soon as the baby was cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket, he was placed on his mother's chest. He was small, but perfectly formed. Despite being a couple of weeks early, he seemed to be strong.
"I want to call him Corbin, but I didn't pick a middle name. You should choose it."
"Um, I hadn't really thought about it. I guess I'd like my name to be his middle name."
"You could give him `Michael' as his middle name. That would make your friend happy. You care for Michael a lot, don't you?"
Landon nodded.
"Will you move back in with him when I'm gone?"
"Yes," Landon whispered.
"That's good. You'll need someone."
Landon spent as much time in the intensive care nursery on Sunday as he was allowed. He spent the rest of it with Sarah until she fell asleep.
Corbin Brooks tipped the scales at four pounds, 10 ounces and was 21 inches long. He looked as scrawny as a picked chicken, but to Landon he was beautiful.
The little bundle of joy was so lively that his movements set off the alarm on the heart monitor nearly scaring Landon to death. Immediately, a motherly nurse explained to him that the machine was set for resting heart-rate and that it was a good thing for the baby to show so much activity.
Although he was in an incubator to keep him warm, Corbin did not seem to need any extreme measures to keep him alive. He had an IV positioned in a vein in the top of his head to make sure that he stayed hydrated, but he was able to nurse some from a bottle while Landon held him. (That was after the new father got a crash course from a nurse.)
Usually it was only mothers that had this privilege, but Sarah had a serious case of toxemia after giving birth and she was not allowed out of bed because of her high blood pressure. Landon was at once happy and sad – happy that he could bond with his son but disappointed for Sarah that she could not.
Landon met Michael at the gym on Monday morning for their usual workout. When they finished, they sat in the steam room for a few minutes. No one else was in there, so Landon took the opportunity to tell his lover about what Sarah had said in the delivery room.
"She's guessed, hasn't she?" Michael mused.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she knows. I don't know how, and I don't know why she's so accepting of it. I figured she's freak if she ever found out."
"I'm glad she didn't and I'm glad she knows," Michael smiled. "It makes me feel a little less guilty about Saturday."
"Don't feel guilty, Babe. I'm the one who initiated it. I needed you badly. I felt like I was cheating on you every time I slept in bed with her in my arms."
"Landon, you were doing what you needed to do. I don't feel jealous at all. I couldn't fault you even if you had made love to her because that's what you had to do if she needed it."
"Baby, what did I ever do to deserve you?"
The two men exchanged a tender, longing kiss before heading for the showers.
Landon decided to try to get some work done at his office. He had a few details to clean up on his current project and he didn't want to get behind in case he had to take time off to care for Sarah or the baby. He was surprised at being summoned into his boss's office just before lunch.
Mr. Bloomberg arose and came out from behind his desk to shake Landon's hand. He offered a chair and took the one beside it for himself rather than keeping the desk between them. Landon took that as a sign that it would be a cordial and casual meeting.
"Congratulations on becoming a father! I've been aware of your value to the company all along, but even more so since you got that project to Mr. Stern despite that awful ice storm. Frankly, you saved my ass! I'm going to show my appreciation by giving you a raise immediately and moving you a step up the corporate ladder when you come back from paternity leave. Your leave starts tomorrow and will last for six weeks. We may have to call on you for help once in a while, but I promise you'll have plenty of time to bond with your new son."
"Thank you, sir! I really appreciate it, but could I start the leave later? I have a few particulars to finish up on the Maxwell campaign and I really can't be with my son very much while he's in the intensive care nursery."
His boss expressed concern for the baby's welfare, but Landon was quick to explain that the procedures were normal in cases of premature birth or low birth-weight. He told his boss that it looked like there weren't going to be any complications. A relieved Mr. Bloomberg said it was fine for Landon to start his leave whenever he felt it was time.
Landon went back to sleeping in Michael's bed since there was no reason to stay at the townhouse alone. Being together to cuddle and to talk was a great comfort for both men. Sharing their love made it even better.
Landon did not hide the arrangement from his wife or her mother. Neither woman voiced any objections. He wondered if they were being open-minded or if they were waiting to turn it against him later.
After a couple of days, Landon convinced the nursing staff to put Sarah in a wheelchair to take her to visit Corbin since they were not going to move the baby from the nursery.
"She doesn't have a lot of time left in this life and she really wants to hold our child," he told them, tears wetting his cheeks.
Since delivering, Sarah looked quite thin and haggard. The cancer was advancing and sucking up the nutrients which should have been nourishing her body. Landon felt as if he could have picked her up and carried her to the nursery without any help.
When little Corbin was placed in her arms, Sarah openly wept for the first time since she had learned the prognosis of her condition. She didn't cry aloud, but big, salty tears flowed like tap water streaming down her face.
"I love you, Son," she said shakily. "Always be good for your daddy."
She kissed the top of his head before giving him back to Landon to place him in the incubator. She didn't have the strength to hold him for any length of time.
"The lady was in to record his name for the birth certificate and I made a slight change like I had suggested. I hope you're not angry with me for not consulting you," she said.
"Oh?"
"I gave him two middle names. He's Corbin Michael Landon Brooks. I grew up watching reruns of `Little House on the Prairie' and Michael Landon was my favorite actor. I thought it would be nice for your son to carry Michael's name as well as yours."
Landon smiled and assured Sarah that he was very pleased with her decision.
About 4:00 a.m., Landon's cell phone began to vibrate under his pillow. He managed to answer it before it rang, in an attempt not to awaken Michael. He knew before taking the call that Sarah had passed away.
Michael was awake in an instant because he hadn't been sleeping soundly with all of the tension of the past few weeks.
"I'll take you when you're ready to go," he offered.
"I don't have to go until later. There's nothing I can do. I'll call Laura in a couple of hours. I don't need to disturb her sleep. There's nothing anyone can do now."
Landon lay awake for about half an hour cradled in Michael's arms. Then, he fell asleep for another hour. Michael drifted in and out of slumber too.
At 6:30, Landon made the call to Laura, knowing she was an early riser and would want to know sooner than later. She took the news as stoically as he had expected her to. She was relieved, in a way, because her daughter was no longer in pain.
When they were notified, Landon's parents expressed their sympathy and said they would make arrangements to fly in from London as soon as possible. Landon told them that the memorial service wouldn't happen for at least a couple of weeks. Sarah had expressed the desire to be cremated, so her rites could be held when it was convenient for all concerned. But, he would love for them to see their grandson as soon as they could make arrangements without upsetting his father's schedule.
In July, a day before Laura's service, their son was released from the hospital. He had reached the magic weight of five pounds and had been thriving without any signs of illness. Little Lord Corbin was ready to receive his loyal subjects.
The last week had been a frantic time for Landon and Michael as they transformed the main-floor guestroom into a nursery. Michael had insisted on buying a beautiful hardwood crib and changing table plus a matching bureau and rocking chair. His father, Thomas, had contributed heavily toward the purchase because he said he wanted the best for the child who might become his only grandson.
Michael had had a lady come to measure the windows in order to make custom curtains from fabric that matched the wallpaper border they had chosen. The whole room was done in the theme of toy trains. It looked quite cute and very appropriate for a little dude.
Corbin was about five weeks old by the time Sarah's memorial service took place. He lay quietly in Landon's arms through the whole thing. His paternal grandparents had flown back to be there, and his grandmother Brooks was going to stay on for a few weeks to help with his care while his grandfather returned to the embassy. Lois was a great help to her husband, Lloyd, in entertaining foreign dignitaries, but he assured her that he would survive without her and that she was needed more in the US at the moment.
Michael's father came to the service as well. Landon was touched that Thomas would make the effort, especially since he'd never met Sarah. It was more than the socially correct thing to do; it was a sign of his tacit approval of his son's living arrangement.
Father Mills had not known Sarah well either, but did wonderfully in his short eulogy and homily, stressing that her love for her son had been foremost in her mind - even to the point of refusing further treatment lest it do him harm. She had put Corbin's welfare ahead of her own. He used non-sexist language in paraphrasing the biblical passage, saying that no one has greater love than the one who lays down their life for their friends.
"Certainly this applies even more so to saving a tiny baby. A mother's love is stronger than the force of gravity!"
Then he moved to the scriptures which give hope for happiness in the afterlife. The one that promises God will wipe away all tears was especially comforting to Landon. He knew Sarah's spirit was somewhere where pain could not touch her, and hoped she would be able to watch their son as he developed.
When the final hymn was sung and the benediction pronounced, the congregation stood as the family members were escorted from the chapel to the parlor. Then, the rest of the small assembly came into the room and waited in line to extend their sympathies to Landon. Among the people attending the service were the Langston's and Aunt Mildred. Mr. Bloomberg was there as were a number of coworkers. Even some of their more casual acquaintances from symphony had turned out to comfort Landon in his time of grief. He was moved by all of the love and support he felt.
Landon was more emotional than he had thought he would be. Having been on the verge of divorce, he had assumed his feelings for Sarah would be pretty well over. Apparently, they were not. He was grateful he had a part of her present with him in the tiny warm bundle that was now sleeping against his chest. He was thankful Michael was by his side as well.
Landon was also grateful that his mother stayed for a while to help him with Corbin. The baby had initially awakened every two hours to nurse and no one had been able to get much sleep.
Lois said that Landon had been like that too and that she had a suggestion.
"He's hungry and formula isn't going to keep him satisfied for any length of time. I don't care what some of the `experts' say about introducing something more solid into his diet. We're going to start him on a little rice cereal so he's not starving!"
And so, Corbin began to enjoy food that would stick to his tiny ribs. Almost immediately, he became a contented infant. Landon was relieved; his mother's presence had been a godsend.
In the weeks after the memorial service, Landon put the townhouse on the market and began to decide which furniture he would sell off and which he would keep. There was little that held any sentimental meaning for him. He set aside photographs and keepsakes that he would like to pass on to Corbin, but the rest would be put on a tag sale as soon as the place was sold, and whatever was left would be donated to charity. Most of the furniture would be remain in place while the house was on the market. The realtor had said that empty houses didn't show well.
Landon could deal with the impersonal things, but couldn't bring himself to go through her clothing and personal effects. His mother and hers took care of that, putting some of the nicer things in a resale shop and sending the rest to the Goodwill. Although they had never been close, the two women got along well in the tasks that needed to be done in order to settle the estate.
Fortunately, Sarah had removed her name from the deed to the house, the title of her car (so it could be sold), and their bank accounts before she died. She had known it would make things run more smoothly. Her will was simple. It left everything she had to her husband. There was so little of value left that wasn't in his name already, that Landon wouldn't end up paying inheritance tax. He marveled at how practical and rational Sarah had been at the end of her life. The cancer which had spread so quickly throughout the rest of her body had not affected her mind again.
Landon would use some of the money from the sale of the townhouse to buy out Samantha's share of the condo. That would keep the mortgage payment at its current level and the men should be able to live quite well.
Author's notes: Thanks to the following who responded this past week: Walt S, Jerry W, Jim L, Mendy D, Wayne, Ott H, Thomas A, Douglas and Lawrence, Zero, Ash T, Barry J, Bob O, Bill K, Owe H, Vinnie D, Tony W, Tom A, Dan L, Chandra B, Jim W, Nick S, Trish R, Nev P, Lance C, Dave F, and Paul R. I enjoyed hearing from you.
Please remember to support Nifty if you have the means and opportunity.
Spring has finally arrived in the Midwest and I love the green grass and trees. Hope things are good wherever you live.
David