Learning The Rule 1: -------------------
I realized my weakness and started fighting for my rights again. "I need to wash your trousers before I can return them to you on Monday."
"OK. Can I bring you another?"
My heart raced "No thank you. No need."
"And if I want you to have another?! :)"
"You don't need to do anything for me. Thank you."
I must stop him. He started playing with my mind. I so much wanted his old jeans to wear or anything he would give me. It really helps me to become modest as there is no need for me to buy things for myself. I can not do that on my own. I often buy clothes in second-hand shops, but still I need to pay for it.
"Hehe... Are you alone at home? Would you like to have some of my old torn socks I stopped wearing?"
"Of course I would."
"So the violet shirt is too beautiful?"
"It is very noticeable, yes"
"he he. I know. People were looking at you the other day. It made you look nice! And the bag? You use it at all?"
"Every day, Don."
"Well, it is time to go to bed :). I am playing some computer-games while talking to you. It is so nice to play them when I am at your place. Will you let me sleep at you place again? It is so nice!"
My heart started beating. He was so sweet and I believe he was totally honest. I was getting weak. I wanted to kiss his feet right now.
"So you can't wait to see me again? :P "
"I don't know :( "
"Why not? It will be nice. Am I not good enough for you?"
"You are too good for me."
He was messing with my head now. Made me desire some material things that have been used by him and which he enjoyed using and wearing in some period, then telling me he enjoys staying at my place and that he likes it.
I want him to be well all the time and do what is needed for his well being. It had been my primary goal all the time to serve his needs not thinking of mine and thank him anytime he satisfies any of my needs.
"Look. With me you will get strong. Your psychics will get stronger with me. Believe me, we are all learning. :)" He started teaching me now, giving me knowledge I could not learn anywhere as it was part of him and his actions. He explained me his goal to change me and make me better.
"Trust me! Are you angry with me? We need to give each other a day for pleasure. Take off our masks. You need to stop thinking I am better and more clever than you and just to enjoy ourselves."
I was confused. He made a point that was stopping him in something and I've never realized that. He knows more about what is going on than me at his age. I admired him and spent a lot of time thinking of his words trying to realize what exactly he meant by this.
"Go to bed now and reply to messages I send to you tomorrow!"
The Third Day: ------------------
We exchanged many messages over the phone which I can not write again just describe them. He had put a lot of energy for me to realize what I did was wrong and that he forgives me for my stupid behaviour and understands my weakness. I may never do that again and he had decided what my punishment is going to be.
"First I need to buy myself some new clothes and I need a new laptop computer! You understand? I need a small laptop so I can take it to school and it is not too heavy and too big! We will talk about what happened and I will explain to you in person what had happened the other day when we meet."
I had accepted to see him again. I wanted to be close to him so much.
When he is at my place I am not be allowed to sleep in my bed as it is his bed now. The bed has a big drawer for spare bed and I was using it to put clothes inside but he changed it to my bed. I have no mattress and cover myself with a blanket only. This way he has enough space to sleep well and I enjoy so much waking up and seeing him spread all over the bed and enjoying the sleep.
When we went to bed that day I took off his clothes and lied down inside the drawer when he started talking. He looked down at me in the drawer and started explaining my psychics interrogating me and giving me comfort for what I did.
He called me by my name...
"I have told you it is not good for you to behave like this. You really made me sad and made me nervous. It is bad for both of us. You must realize your position and stop behaving like this. If something bothers you, you should ask me what to do, not make your own choices and leave without saying a word. How do you think I can know what is in your head if you say nothing? I am not a mind reader. I had no clue why you left and that there was anything wrong with you. Did you think I would run after you and try to stop you or something? It is good that you came to your senses again and realize your mistake and to never repeat it again! Tomorrow we check for the computer and go buy clothes for me. It is what you need to do, to pay for your mistake. You understand?"
I looked humbly at him from the drawer up to him lying on the bed over me. We both realized the relation we were in and that it is how it is going to be.
"Please forgive me, Don that I was so stupid. I don't know what was in my head. I was in such a distress that I had to do something. I needed to leave and never look back again."
"But you see now how stupid that was? You only hurt me and did no good with your actions. You must learn from this experience and never forget what you did to me!!" SLAP.
"Yes, Don. I was stupid and am thankful for the energy you put into me to make me understand what is good and what better not to do again. I want to follow your commands and learn from you. You make things better and know how to treat me and what I need. "
I had accepted this teenager's intelligence over mine and was humble in my thoughts. He had been teaching me how I should be to become better and more usable. I was learning from his words and accepted his superiority in person and mind.
I realized what I did was wrong and that I have to face the consequences. Now he was programming my mind to understand the situation and show guilt and regret before him and remain humble and low the whole time.
I did not start my own thoughts just replied to his explanations on how I understand what he teaches me, so he could correct me if I was wrong.
"Life is very simple to understand. You must never lie to yourself. When you asked me to become mine I have accepted you as such. You are a slave, my servant and I do what I want, not the other way around. Maybe it would be better I had told you to go for a walk or something but I did not see the anguish of your mind and it is not something I have to worry about. It is useless to say now what would be better and what could have happened. You understand? When you have a problem you must ask me to help you. It is the best way for you not to make something stupid again."
"I see how foolish my actions were, Don. Please forgive me for not being strong enough. I will learn from this experience and never repeat it again. You are really helping me and I could not be more thankful for the time you give to me and effort to explain the nature of things that have happened.
I will follow your directions and ask you to help me when I am in distress so I don't hurt you again."
The talk went on for a few hours till 3 am. With each sentence he made me realize my position and that this will never change. I had no rights and I was loosing my freedom and giving it to him.
He was educating me and made me realize what it means to be slave. It is not my fantasy, it is his choice to accept me as such.
-------- Understanding is a process, a process to understand. With thanks to The Boy. Thanks for any response: boyntoy@gmail.com