Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. It involves romantic and/or sexual relationship between males. If you are offended of this subject matter, if you are a minor, or if you are in a place where it is illegal to read this type of literature, please stop reading now.
Copyright © 2008, 2014 by Fritz Diantan. All Rights Reserved. Except as permitted under the law, no part of this publication may be reproduced without the prior written permission of the Author.
Please support Nifty.org. Donate and keep it alive!
Before we go on with the story, please take the time to read this statement from the author:
Writing with My Soul
In the past few months, I discovered that someone tried to steal my story "Falling for a Straight Guy" by posting it on another website and claimed it as their own... an experience I never thought would happen to me. To be totally honest, my first reaction was not anger... but extreme disappointment and great sadness. "Falling for a Straight Guy" is a story I write partly based on my own experiences. And for that reason, I consider it a betrayal for someone to try and take something so personal, so intimate.
I do not personally know the person who plagiarized my work but with cursory investigation, I was able to discover this person's identity. Even though I know I would have the moral and legal right to retaliate, I chose not to do so. Some may think that was naive, but I do not want to do something that may destroy a person's life just because they made a mistake due to their youth or by not knowing any better. I understood a long time ago that the things we do or say online can haunt us for a very long time. I do not want this instance of bad judgment be this person's defining moment but I do hope they will not repeat such act, to me or any other writer. I was able to contact the admin of the website where my story has been posted without my permission and they promptly removed it, fortunately.
To take another person's exact words and pretend they are your own not only robs the original author's rights but also compromises your voice. No matter how similar your opinions are to another person, to just use their words to represent your thoughts is an act of betraying yourself. No two person will always have the exact way of seeing the world and no matter how similar, you can always have something new to give or have a different perspective. It is a great injustice to compromise your freedom to express, to knowingly and willingly give up your voice when there are many parts of the world where people who choose to act and speak their minds can come with great costs, sometimes at the threat of losing their lives.
I have been inspired by other people's words throughout my life but I can honestly say that I do not take credit where no credit is due. As much as possible, I do not want my inner voice to be the one to tell me that I was a fraud. As a writer, I know how powerful and critical that inner voice can be, and if I lose its approval, I know that I will cease to live. In everything we do, in every decision that we make, I believe we must always be able to live with ourselves regardless of whether everyone around is celebrating or criticizing us. The opinion that really matters about who we are and what we do in this world, will always come from within. And I think, in stealing another person's work, no matter how much admiration or fame is received out of it will be for nothing once that inner voice starts reminding us that we do not deserve such praise.
Also, just because information or content is freely accessible online does not mean one can take it as their own. The cavalier disregard to the hard work given by writers who post their work for free online can produce a negative effect to content creation. In the first few weeks of discovering the infringement, I seriously considered to stop posting my work online for free, thinking that there is no assurance that this will not happen again and that the resulting stress can spill over to other aspects of my life, which it did in this case. I feared that instead of just focusing on creating content and entertaining and inspiring my readers, I may have to constantly defend my rights just to ensure that no one will abuse the work that I created. It was a depressing moment to consider that I may have to give up the things that I love just because some people in the world do not know or care about the concept of respect.
I do not see myself as a great writer but I know I am a passionate one. The reason I share my stories, some for free, is because I believe this is a way for me to touch people's hearts and make a difference, no matter how small. Through the emails I receive (many of which I fail to respond to, which I apologize greatly) I get the opportunity and privilege to connect to those who have similar experiences and thoughts as me. And in that way, I can offer a laugh, a cry, a caring word and remind them (and be reminded) that no one is really, truly alone.
I have always believe that passionate writers put a little bit of themselves to the things they create, most often, unintentionally. Through such works they live on and even if the work is forgotten, that piece of their soul will linger to readers because it becomes a part of them. But if someone steals my work, a part of me is also being taken away. And I think everyone would agree that no one deserves for their soul to be stolen.
I will keep writing and sharing my stories, hopefully finish FSG soon. I know I have many more to offer but life has not always been kind and I had to compromise, sometimes even fight to be able to write creatively. I had to be resourceful now more than ever because there are many more stories I wish to share and I know my life will not get less complicated anytime soon. But I do hope that you as my reader will be kind enough to appreciate the work I have done and respect the great challenges that I had to overcome just to be able to share these stories to you.
With great gratitude, Fritz
Falling for a Straight Guy Chapter Eight: Consequence
He ran away... away from the disappointed stares, incredulous whispers, and taunting laughter. He wanted to escape and wake up from the disturbing nightmare. Dave could not believe his greatest secret was now revealed... and now, everyone knows what he really is.
'You're a fraud!' a voice in his head shouted, making Dave jolt in his seat.
Many passengers of the jeepney gave him looks of concern but none of them dared to talk to the crying teen.
Dave ignored them... everything around him no longer mattered. Now that everyone at school now knows his feelings for Daniel... it was only a matter of time before the news got to his sister and then... to his parents.
A stream of silent tears slowly escaped his eyes. His head ached in anxiety, his chest pounded in fear... he felt as if his body was ceasing to function properly.
He nearly missed his stop because his eyes were so blurry with tears. Dave walked slowly to the house his parents bought to serve as their family's sanctuary. Yet, as he climbed up his bed, fully cloth in his school uniform, never did Dave feel so unsafe.
He felt exhausted... Dave never felt so tired in his life. Spending all day in his room crying drained his body and mind. He wanted to wrench out his heart because he could no longer bear the pain. Dave had never felt such agony... it was more than intangible emotions as he felt his heart hurt so much that he passed out.
When he finally woke up, Dave knew the day had gone. The desk clock showed 7:35 PM. Now that he had calmed down a bit, the rational part of Dave's mind started to work.
He knew he needed to face the school sooner rather than later. So many people were counting for his leadership, skills, and intellect... the fund raiser that he needed to plan; the school paper he needed to finish; his teachers expecting him to be the top of the class; and his parents wanting to see the fruits of their investment.
And even though the thought of seeing the whole school give him disgusted and disappointed looks scared Dave to the core, he knew he did not have a choice. He just hoped that maybe some of the students would not forget all the things that he accomplished.
Picking up his cell phone, Dave saw a few missed calls and text messages from Belinda and Paul. Anxiously, he started to read them.
[SMS from Belinda: Dave, I think the gang were just shocked. I was too, but now I don't really think it's a big deal. The gang just need time. Hope you're okay. Love you.]
[SMS from Paul: Man, was I surprised. But I don't care. I think of you as my bro so don't even think I'll abandon you I don't care if you're gay or bi or whatever. Take some time off. I know you need it. And the hell with your clubs, don't stress out. I'm here for you. Call me.]
Dave felt his chest relax as he read the messages, telling him that his friends did not think any less of him. He thought his eyes no longer have any but tears stung Dave's vision... he thought all his friends would hate him if they found out but Belinda and Paul understood.
There was still hope.
Facing the school after his most intimate thoughts was revealed for all to see did not go as smoothly as Dave thought. He tried to convince himself that as long as he had Belinda and Paul, he would be alright. But the taunting and snide comments were harsher than he could have ever imagined.
It was as if all his accomplishments vanished in many students' minds. Being the president, editor-in-chief, and honor student were no longer how they saw Dave. He was now a manipulative, lying homo.
Most of the gang did not look at Dave as he arrived at their usual spot every morning since the letter incident. If not only for Belinda's insistence, Dave would have drifted off the gang. Belinda and Paul tried their best to engage everyone in normal conversations during recess, lunch, or after school but none of the others replied with interest. Except for Jemma.
Jaypee's girlfriend gave Dave some apologizing looks whenever he caught her eyes. This gave Dave a renewed sense of hope that maybe time was what his friends really needed. Yet, the light was snuffed out immediately after a comment from a senior got overheard by the gang one morning, a few days after the Dave's outing.
"There he is! I can't believe we all fell for a poser! I can't believe we have a fairy for a president!" the girl whispered to someone beside. The whisper was loud enough for anyone within a few feet to hear, which included a few underclassmen.
"Yeah," the girl's friend replied. "If I were him, I'd transfer to another school. That would give all of us a break. Do you know that many schools now make fun of us just because of him?"
Paul stood up, looking murderous while he tried to break Belinda's grip. She was clutching his arm, trying with all her might to stop him from getting suspended when Paul started to move towards the talking girls clenching his fists. Dave just looked down to the ground, got up, and walked towards their classroom.
As he neared the staircase, Dave heard Paul shout to the gang.
"What the hell is the matter with all of you?! Dave's our friend and he needs us right now! I can't believe you'll only sit and watch him get harassed--"
"It serves him right for lying to us! He never trusted us enough to tell us the truth... he wanted to handle it alone? Then let's see him handle this alone!" snarled Ferdinand to no one in particular. "I'm not going to waste my time to someone who doesn't even trust me!"
Dave stopped on his tracks. He was partly hidden from view by a notice board though his friends' voices were quite unhindered. The stairs in front of him were empty. Silently, Dave stood there, immobile, and waiting to finally know what his friends truly felt about him.
Before Paul could respond to Ferdinand's statement, Dave heard Marcelo speak his mind.
"You know why we're so angry with him? We're gay and we're supposed to be his friend. Who else could he talk to about these things if not us? Who would understand more than us?"
Turning to his friends' direction, Dave peeked and saw that Marcelo was openly crying while most of the girls' cheeks were also wet with tears. A stab of pain run through his body, realizing that he was the reason why his friends were fighting against each other.
"We feel so betrayed and insulted. He didn't trust us enough to let us help him. He lied... he pretended to be someone he was not. And I'm sorry but I can't be friends with people like that."
Paul just shook his head. The face that Dave saw was full with nothing but disappointment and sorrow. Paul finally broke free from Belinda's grip and started walking towards Dave's direction.
Hurriedly turning away, Dave ran up the stairs while ignoring some students who tried to get his attention with their slurs as he passed other classrooms. He hoped that if left ignored, everyone would grow tired of him and just move on. So far, it was not working.
Classes felt weird. It was as if the teachers were ignoring David's "issues" but they gave him looks that really irritated him. Some tried to bombard him with questions at first but Dave's expression and testy answers drew them away. He was half disappointed when he did not get expelled after he shouted to Mr. Davis when the P.E. teacher tried to counsel him. He felt like an outsider now more than ever.
In the past, Dave had always felt different because he got more attention due to his academic performance. But at least then, no one looked at him as if he was contagious. Now, it was impossible for him to walk in peace; it was as if he had a spotlight hovering over him wherever he went... and everyone was eager to watch him fall so they can kick him more.
His classmates could no longer look him in the eyes, more so than to talk to him. Maybe they were afraid to get involved or associated with him as the gang also got their share of name calling because of their connection with Dave.
But the most disturbing of all was Daniel's best efforts to avoid him.
Dave never thought that Daniel would be capable of doing something as cruel as outing him to the whole school and not explain why. He tried approaching the guy but as if Dave was a plague, Daniel always go away as fast as he could.
Dave only wanted an explanation... why did Daniel distribute the letter? Or if he was not the one who did, then how did the letter end up photocopied and distributed all around the campus?
Dave stared around, his classmates were all idly chatting as they waited for the classes to start. He saw Daniel look at him briefly before returning to the book he was reading.
Setting his jaw, Dave tried his best to stop himself from rushing towards the guy and punching the hell out of him. Instead, he sat down and prepared a speech in his mind for the newspaper meeting that afternoon. Daniel cannot avoid him forever and Dave was going to use all his remaining power as editor-in-chief to get some answers one way or another.
But before David can talk to Daniel, he had to face the student council officers first. As one by one the officers walked into the headquarters, Dave felt the air get tense. His knees shook slightly. It was a good thing that he stood behind his desk. As everyone settled, Dave cleared his throat.
"Good afternoon," said Dave in a tone that he hoped to crush the heavy atmosphere around them. "I just want to commend you all for making our foundation week a success."
No one reacted. Dave noticed some of the officers being uncomfortable and avoiding eye contact while some looked disdainfully towards him... as though waiting for him to screw up.
"But as we all know... um..." Dave tried to continue. "We... still have to do another fundraiser to achieve our target budget. Does anyone have any ideas for--"
"Is it true?" asked Brian Loran, a junior and one of the sergeant-at-arms. "Is that letter true? Is what they're saying about you true?"
Dave stopped talking at once, a lump suddenly formed in his throat. He looked at Brian. The guy's expression made Dave bit his tongue; it was as if the junior student was begging Dave to say that the letter about him and Daniel was a prank... a lie.
He decided that if any confrontation with anyone happen, Dave would answer as truthfully as the situation would permit. He inhaled deeply before answering the question with another question.
"What exactly are they saying about me?"
"That you're... um... gay," said Brian, uncertainly.
"I'm attracted to a guy," said Dave, trying with all his might to make his voice as normal as possible. "So... yes. I guess, I'm gay."
His confirmation was greeted with shaking of heads and shocked murmurs. The defeat in Brian's face was so evident and the majority of the people in the room mirrored his expression.
"This guy that you like... is it Daniel Rodrigo?" asked Jessica. "So, I guess it's also true that the only reason he got in the Herald is because you like him."
"Hey, now listen here!" Dave said loudly that everyone grew silent at once. "Daniel is a great writer and he deserves his place in the school paper. Plus, I don't use my authority that way."
His outburst did nothing good as everyone continued to give Dave distrustful looks. It was as if they did not recognize the person talking in front of them anymore. Most of the male officers looked as if nothing coming from David was worth believing.
Dave would have given everything he had just so he can evaporate on the spot. He would have welcomed a bullet to his head at that moment as everyone continued to stare at him silently.
"Guys... it's still me," Dave said, his desperation trying to penetrate their minds. "I'm not changed or anything... you just found out something new about me. I'm still the same guy you voted--"
"No... you're not the same guy," said Lucas. The look of hatred on his face shocked Dave. "The guy we voted to lead us... the guy that we had chosen to be our president... wasn't you. We voted a decent student... and not a liar."
With that, Lucas marched out of the office. Then one by one, Dave watched frozen on his feet, as his officers walked out on him. Some looked back as though saying they did not know whom to believe or how to react. But others looked as though they will never come back to the office ever again.
David fought so hard not to get consumed by his feelings. He still need to face another club in a few minutes. Yet, even though how hard he tried, a tear escaped as the last officer's back vanished, leaving Dave defeated and alone.
After about ten minutes, the first member of the Herald staff entered the office. Loraine looked nervous as she walked in, noticing that nobody else was there except Dave. She gave her editor a brief nod of acknowledgment then sat at a corner and busied herself with her cell phone. Dave just sighed and thought why he expected any better.
The room gradually filled up as more student writers arrived. David noticed that not one of them seemed to be able to look at him for more than a few seconds. They just sat and talked to each other or pretended to be busy rereading their articles.
Fearing that another dramatic confrontation would follow, Dave stood up in front of his staff. The simple act drew everyone's attention to him. Dave opened his mouth but Daniel chose that moment to enter the room.
"Sorry, I'm late," Daniel mumbled then walked to the farthest corner of the room, beside Jerry Belami, the cartoonist.
Some people gave Daniel curious looks while others ignored his interruption. Heart beating fast, Dave took a deep breath to calm himself and started.
"We are nearing our target and I want to congratulate all of you for this. A little bit more work and I know that this staff would produce a great publication. Though there are some things that might distract you, things that are happening in our school... I hope that everyone of you would still give their greatest effort and continue what we have started. This newspaper is not about one person so I hope that even if you find yourself to be alone, you would still continue and finish the newspaper with all the talent that you have. You know the drill guys. Let's get started..."
Dave gave them a brave smile then turned his back from his writers as though trying to distance himself from them... trying to stop himself from infecting them with what was inside him. His presence no longer gave inspiration to them... he knew that.
Movements behind him told Dave that everyone started to work on their articles and he silently thanked them for not asking any questions or demanding any explanations. He had trained them well... do the work first, solve the problem later.
Chancing a glance towards the farthest corner, Dave saw that Daniel was determined to avoid catching his eye. Knowing fully well that confronting the columnist in front of the whole staff would only make another hell of a scene, Dave decided to postpone the interrogation until the end of the meeting. The two of them exchanged nervous glances with each other, looking away whenever the other was about to get caught staring.
But after an hour and a half, Dave's heart began to beat as though he just swallowed a horse race that got stuck in his chest. Most of the writers had already submitted their articles to him and left the room, making the office less packed. Then, Daniel stood and walked towards him, clutching a piece of paper. There were still three other staffers in the office... Dave knew he needed to talk to Daniel now or he might not get another chance.
"Here's my article," said Daniel, barely looking to David's face.
"Can I talk to you... when everyone's gone?"
Daniel appeared as though he would rather leave now but as he finally look at Dave's eyes, he could not stop the guilt that made him nod.
"Ok."
After a few minutes, Jerry handed his cartoon to Dave. He was the last staffer to submit his work and as he crossed the room, he gave Dave a simple smile, a silent sign of support. Dave could not help but return it.
"See you tomorrow Dave," said Jerry, then he turned and picked up his bag. Looking unsurprised that Daniel was still there, the cartoonist waved to him and bade goodbye.
Dave put the articles to a folder then to a drawer where he knew Mrs. Veloso would be able to find them. He turned and looked at the face he could not seemed to forget. The silence got broken by the single word that softly escaped from Dave's lips before he could stop himself.
"Why?"
Daniel jerked a little as though Dave just screamed at him. David's voice was so full of emotion that it sliced through the air... Daniel looked down to the floor.
"I'm sorry Dave."
Dave refused to believe what he was hearing...
"Why did you do it? What did you have to gain?" asked Dave, his voice shaking with emotions. "I thought you were okay with it."
By then, Daniel looked up, his face pale.
"I didn't distribute the letter, Dave."
"If it wasn't you then who did it? Who else could have had known about my letter?"
Dave did not understand... if it was not Daniel then how come the guy before him looked as though he was about to cry in guilt?
"I lost the letter Dave... I'm so sorry," Daniel whispered so low that it could have been just the wind blowing. "I put it in my math book but I misplaced it somewhere... I didn't know someone will do this if they found it..."
Realization hit Dave like lightning bolt. He sat down on his chair, face hidden by his hands. Now he understood why Teresa and her friend gave him that knowing look...
"Teresa... Teresa found your book," Dave muttered, his voice almost cracking. "You left it in the library."
Dave did not need to see the shocked expression Daniel had on his face. The guy knew Teresa Perez's reputation as a gossip addicted bitch.
"I'm sorry if I accused you," said Dave as the truth finally settled in. "It's just... you had the letter... I mean..."
Something between the two of them was ripped apart... Dave could feel the damaged as though it was as real as the air they breathe. But he did not want to believe this was the end... It took a few moments before he mustered to ask.
"Are we still friends?"
A deafening silence came after the question. Dave looked at Daniel, his eyes pleading but the guy was looking outside, staring at the beautiful rays of light due to the setting sun.
"I'm sorry Dave... but maybe we shouldn't hang out with each other anymore. It would only make the situation worst if people see us together. Sorry."
And without looking around, Daniel picked up his bag and left the room.
David felt numb. Everything felt so far away from him... everything felt so unimportant as he looked at the place where Daniel's back vanished. Everything felt... nothing.
"Dave?"
He did not care who it was as the voice did not sound like the person he wanted to hear again. Dave packed his things, ignoring the two people who went inside the office.
"Are you alright man?" asked another voice which sounded like Paul.
"What do you want?" Dave turned and saw his friends. His voice was barely a whisper. It was as if all his strength left him completely just like his officers... his staffers... his friends... Daniel....
"We thought we can hang out... are you... you look tired Dave," said Belinda, looking truly worried.
"I just want to go home... yes, I'm tired. I'm just... really tired."
Walking pass the two, Dave exited the office, without looking back and not knowing where he really wanted to go.
The darkness around him was so thick it felt as though he was lost in a void, where the world had neither beginning nor end. It should have scared anyone, anyone with hope in their hearts. But Dave had no reason to fear the darkness... he had no reason to hope... all he had was nothing.
He ignored the sounds from outside... they no longer concerned him. Even though he caught a word that sounded like his name being called, Dave did not care. He stopped caring when everyone ceased to care for him.
The numbness he felt as beyond physical... his senses, paralyzed by the overwhelming grief, failed to function properly. Dave barely flinched when the sharp edge pierced his flesh. The blood creepily glided to his hand, soaking the white sheets of his bed.
'This was the price...' he thought as a ray of light from the street lamps found a gap through the curtains. He lay immobile, staring to the nothingness.
'No matter how talented... no matter how intelligent... it all meant nothing."
Dave closed his eyes, praying that the darkness give him solace for once in his life.
He did not know whether it was a dream, for he was in between losing his consciousness, when suddenly everything was illuminated with brilliant light.
Dave remained still, his body too weak to comprehend what was happening around him. He can hear urgent and panicked voices. Through his eyelids, Dave detected movements and as he open his eyes, tears ran down his cheeks. His vision blurred by tears and sadness, a face of a young man swam to his vision and a gentle hand touched his cheeks.
"Dave, hold on," said the voice, begging. "Please hold on... please..."
The weakness was impossible to resist and as Dave succumb to unconsciousness, he knew something was wrong. The voice awakened something inside of him... a realization to the flaw of the plan.
For the first time that night, David Garcia felt horror as he floated away in the darkness. Because no matter how much he tried, he could not go back to the light.
'What have I done?'
Falling for a Straight Guy Chapter Nine: True Self
It must have been the cold air or the beeping of the machines that woke him up. Slowly opening his eyes, Dave realized where he was.
A hospital... he did not die.
Dave gave out a ragged breath as he heard the soft voice.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
Dave turned to his right and there he saw his mother, Clarise Garcia, sitting on a chair next to the window looking concerned and tired.
"You're here..." said Dave, his voice hoarse and uncertain.
"I took the earliest flight. I arrived yesterday."
Mrs. Garcia stood up and took two plastic cups from a table then filled it with water.
"Your sister called me the minute you were admitted to the hospital. She said some of your friends were waiting outside the house and when she checked your room, that's when..."
Both of them felt the uneasy atmosphere inside the room. Mrs. Garcia had not been back to the country for more than a year while Dave was a teenager who just discovered his truth; it was the cyclical awkwardness they usually experience each homecoming but multiplied a hundredfold due to the current grim circumstances.
As Dave sat up on the bed, that was when he felt them. Dull aches on his bandaged wrapped wrists, the white gauze slightly showing the dried, crimson blood beneath. He closed his eyes as the covered wounds resurrected the darkness that nearly engulfed him before. The sound he produced as like that of a wounded animal that made Mrs. Garcia rush to Dave side.
"Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. It's okay. You're not alone, okay? I'm here now," she said while cradling her son's head as he continued to cry.
"I tried, Ma. I tried really hard... to do my best... to make all of you happy and proud of me. But I just keep being a disappointment," Dave said in-between sobs. "And I was so scared that if all of you found out... it would be the mistake that will finally stop you... from loving me."
"Mistake?"
Dave turned his face, now shining with tears.
"I'm gay, Ma."
Mrs. Garcia looked at Dave for a second then frowned as she hugged him once again.
"There is nothing you can do that will stop me and your father from loving you," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I'm so sorry for making you feel unsure of how much we care for you. But I want you to know, we will always be here for you."
Dave continued crying, not out of fear or sadness but due to the overwhelming relief. His mother now know who he was... and the world did not end.
The doctors insisted for Dave to stay in the hospital for a few days. Marina, Dave's sister, dropped by after school each afternoon to see how he was doing. It was weird for Dave to see his sister genuinely interested to him. They never particularly disliked each other but they never been closed either.
"I'm sorry for what I put you through," said Dave.
"What do you mean?" asked Marina.
"It must have been... crazy seeing me that way."
"You don't have to apologize," she said, softly. "I'm the one who should be saying sorry. I'm your big sister and I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me. If only I've been a better... this wouldn't have happened. If we didn't find you in time..."
"But you did," said Dave. "Thank you."
A knock on the door and Dave saw Paul and Belinda standing there. Marina invited them in.
"Dave, I have to go home and change but me and Mom will be back later, okay?" she said.
Dave nodded. Marina took her bag and left.
Paul and Belinda approached his bed slowly, though trying really hard to hide their concern.
"I'm okay," said Dave giving them a small smile.
Suddenly, Belinda burst into tears.
"We were so worried. We tried to see how you were but the nurses said family members only. When your sister said you just woke up yet..."
"Don't worry. I'm okay now," said Dave reassuringly.
He looked at Paul but was surprised to see him frowning deeply.
"Don't tell me you're going to cry too?" Dave joked.
Paul gave him a cold look.
"You're an asshole," he said forcefully.
"Paul!" said Belinda shocked.
"I'm sorry that's wrong," said Paul. "You're a stupid, selfish, asshole. You do this type of shit again and I swear--"
His voice broke and tears dropped one by one. Paul tried to wipe them as fast as he can but they keep coming.
"Seeing like that..." said Paul, looking at the wall instead of Dave. "It scared the hell out of me. Belinda near had a heart attack."
"I'm really sorry."
"Just don't do it again. Next time, whatever you are going through you talk to me. Promise me."
"I promise."
"Aww Paul," said Belinda, sobbing a bit. "You look cute when you cry."
"Shut up," he murmured while wiping his face roughly.
They all chuckled then started laughing.
As he and his friends talked, Dave started to remember how it felt like before he let the darkness consume him, before he forgot that it was okay to ask help from others. Now that he was free from the paralyzing hold of the unknown, Dave started to see his future again.
Going back to school did not really inspire enthusiasm to Dave. But he realized that he should not let other people's opinions of him dictate how he lived. It was a mistake that nearly made him lose his life and now he had a chance to make the right decisions.
Students looked at him then his bandaged wrapped wrists. Dave noticed some of them whispering among themselves. But the strange thing was he did not care... not anymore. With a straight face, he walked steadily to his class and that was when he noticed the gang sitting near the building's entrance.
Everyone looked at him but only Paul and Belinda appeared happy to see him. Ferdinand, Marcelo, Shaina, Micala, and Marites stared at him like he was some creature from outer space. Jaypee and Jemma, on the other hand, looked away immediately to avoid his gaze. Dave scoffed quietly as he continued to walk past, only pausing for a bit to wave at Paul and Belinda. He could not believe those people were the very friends he once thought would have his back, through and through.
"Dave, wait."
Looking back, Dave saw Paul and Belinda walking towards him.
"Why didn't you join us?" asked Paul as they continued going to their classroom.
"Didn't really feel like it," said Dave coolly. "And I have the impression you're the only ones who wanted me there."
"Don't say that," said Belinda. "They miss you."
"Bel, just because you think that way doesn't mean it's true. Anyway, I think it's better like this. I can focus on things and people who really matters."
"But--"
"People drift apart," said Dave, his voice controlled. "I'm not going to force myself to those who don't want me."
At that point, they arrived by the door of their classroom. If the tension was not so thick, the situation would have been amusing. Dave classmates who were chatting idly suddenly stopped making any noise as he entered. He even saw one who was holding a piece of toast stop chewing as he walked to his seat. Acting as though nothing was wrong, Dave sat down and took out his notes then started reviewing the lessons he missed. Gradually, the senseless chatter and noise created by high school student resumed in no time.
As Dave pretend to be engrossed to the mathematical equations on his notebook, he thought the reactions were quite okay. At least, there were no blatant jeers or snide comments, maybe the students found out that his mother threatened to sue the school because of what happened. Dave had to beg his mother not to push for Teresa's expulsion though according to Belinda, a few days after his attempted suicide Teresa stopped going to school anyway.
"Okay, children settle down. Open your books to page 43," said Mrs. Mendoza. "Mr. Garcia, welcome back."
Dave smiled to her.
All of his classes were uneventful and by lunch, Dave even started receiving greetings either from younger students he knew through clubs or from the faculty. He ate with Paul and Belinda who chose to separate themselves from the rest of the gang at the moment to be with Dave. And even though he insisted that he was okay being alone if they want to eat with the others, Paul reasoned that he could not go through another lunch hour hear about make-up or some pointless topic.
Yet, if the classes went without any drama, after-school activities were another matter. As Dave entered the office for the meeting of the student council, he was greeted by people arguing fiercely.
"He may be back but none of us want him."
"That is not your decision to make. Dave was elected and we don't have a choice."
"Not true. He can be impeached or we can force him to resign."
"I'm not resigning," Dave declared.
Everyone in the room turned to look at him. Someone gasped in surprise while others stood their ground, looking adamant and ready to fight.
"That maybe," said Brian. "But it isn't really up to you."
Dave slowly walked in front of everyone, his gaze unwavering. He was seething inside and had never felt such anger in his life. Surprisingly though, his mind was clearer than it had ever been and the logical part of his brain was taking the front seat.
"The student government by-laws states that there are only three cases upon which the presidency can be vacated," Dave said firmly. "One is resignation. Two is if the currently seating President incur injury and is physically unable to execute his or her duties. Three is by impeachment upon which certain conditions must be meet. Of these three case, what do you think will apply to unseat me?"
"Impeachment," answered Brian confidently.
"On what grounds?" challenged Dave.
"Um..."
"You haven't done your homework. While you decide whether or not you have grounds to impeach me or not, let me tell you that you are the one who is actually qualified to be impeached."
"What?"
"Section 1.2 of the SSG Constitution and By-Laws states 'The officers of the SSG may be impeached on the grounds of negligence and disloyalty to the cause of the SSG and the school," explained Dave.
"What are you talking about?" asked Brian who was now starting to get angry.
"As the Sergeant-at-Arms, you head the Student's Welfare Committee which, according to Section 7 of the SSG Constitution is mandated to look after the rights of the students. As I was being bullied and sneered upon by many students, where were you again? Was the Constitution not clear about the objective of the SSG which is 'to serve, to protect, and to promote the rights and welfare of every student?' That's Section 6.8."
Dave waited for a response from Brian but the aggressiveness was gone now, replaced by shame.
"Hell, if we want to put people on trial, I believe all of you acted in violation of the SSG Constitution and By-Laws when you left our previous meeting. Would you want me to convene the General Assembly?"
Everyone now looked nervous, some started fidgeting while others are at the verge of crying. But Dave felt he had no reason to feel sorry for them. They were the deserters, they were the ones who let him down.
"From now on, things will change," said Dave, the edge in his voice could no longer be denied. "If you don't want to serve with me as your President, you can resign anytime. But don't hold your breath on me going anywhere. You try to undermine my authority or fail to do your responsibilities as officers and I will file an impeachment complaint against any of you to the General Assembly. And I assure you that you will lose any privileges and college scholarships you could have gotten for being a part of the student government.
"You want to shame me for who I am? Maybe all of you should look in the mirror first."
The room was silent except for some who were sobbing quietly. But Dave did not care that he made them cry or feel guilt or forced them to see themselves for who they really were. He knew not all of them thought of him like Brian did but pointing out the few good ones will only further fragment the council and may even point the hostility towards those who will openly side with him. Also, it felt good to lash out and knock them down a few pegs, showing them he was no longer the person he once was.
"Think about what I said. The Student Government's next meeting will be on Tuesday next week. This meeting is now adjourned," said Dave dismissively as he finally sat down.
He watched as Brian rushed out of the room and one by one, the officers went there way as well. Some paused as though deciding whether to stay and tell him something but probably did not have the courage yet to admit their mistake or just plainly afraid of him at that point. Dave understood and he was even grateful, as the speech he gave and citing all those sections of the SSG Constitution and By-Laws gave his brain a workout. But at least he used his words, if Dave did not have more self-control or if his wrists were still not hurting, he would have punched someone. Then, Brian would have had grounds to get him impeached.
Due to the unscheduled adjournment of the SSG meeting, Dave had some free time to get updated with the articles that were finished by the journalism club. Though he had been gone for a few days, a lot had been accomplished and only some articles needed minor revisions. He believed in a weeks time, they would be finished with the publication and they can start choosing who will represent the school for the journalism competition. He was half-way done printing the completed layouts when the first Herald staffer arrived.
If the student government officers greeted him with hostility, the Heralds were more warm and supportive. They genuinely smiled at him, some gave him a hug, and told him they were happy that he was back. Except for Daniel, who walk at the back of the office, jaw set and avoided eye contact with everyone. Dave decided he did not care... after the drama a few minutes ago, he did not want to spoil the great mood of the other members.
"Thank you, guys. I'm glad to be back. I can see you all have been busy while I was... 'on vacation,'" said Dave with a smile and gesturing air quotes with his joke. Some chuckled while other gave him a concerned smile. "But seriously, I appreciate your dedication. And I'm very grateful for your hard work. I believe 98% of the work is done and once the layout is finished, copy editing the proofs would be last think that would be needed.
"Next week, we will be picking the people who will represent each section for the individual competitions so all of those who want to battle it out must still practice. Our adviser and some other teachers will be the ones who will judge who goes and who doesn't. As much as possible we want to be represented in all the categories so don't be afraid to try, all right?"
Dave handed Jerry the printouts to hand around the members.
"For today, though, let's start proofreading what had been finished to double-check any more typos or inconsistent formatting. Those who still need to finish articles, photos, or graphics should prioritize doing that. Anyone who needs my help, you know where to find me," said Dave as he took his own pile and started checking for errors.
After an hour, the layouts were returned to him and one by one people started to leave. Dave thanked everyone as they went pass him and as he started to put away his things, he noticed that one more person was left in the room with him. Daniel.
Daniel approached him cautiously but Dave looked him straight in the eyes.
"What do you want?"
Swallowing hard, Daniel opened his mouth but nothing came out. Dave picked up his bag and gave his classmate a few more seconds to speak. But they just stared at each other.
"If you are not going to say anything, I have to go," said Dave.
"I'm... uh, are you all right?" asked Daniel softly.
"You know what, Daniel? If it isn't about the Herald, we don't really need to talk. You made it clear. We're not friends. So, if that's all you need to say."
The shock on Daniel's face was evident but he nodded and Dave turned immediately.
"Lock the door on your way out," reminded Dave without turning as he left the room.
His head throbbed, his chest feeling tighter by the minute. The sense of comfort and safety he felt due to the support the Heralds gave him suddenly vanished upon hearing Daniel's voice. Fortunately, it was almost evening and he did not see any students on his way to the school gates.
Daniel sounded so genuine, so caring... the asshole.
'Yeah, he's an asshole.'
"Then why the hell am I crying?" Dave softly asked himself as he exited the school gates.
(To be continued...)
FROM THE AUTHOR:
Chapter 8 and 9 are finally here. I know it took forever but I hope you enjoy it.
Your support is needed:
theadlaotribe.wordpress.com/shop
For those who want to be notified of new chapter posting please send me an email or use the follow button found at the bottom of my website. Thank you.
Fritz Diantan Ilagan theadlaotribe@gmail.com