Falling

Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB I have never met the BSB. This is just a story in other words it's not true. I do not work for anyone that has contact with the BSB and so on this is just a story I hope you like it

Authors note: I have noticed that not many people write BSB stories. So I have decided that I will write as many BSB stories as I can. I might right a few stories about different bands. But don't count on it to much. Ok I use a few different symbol's in my story to help it. These *** mean a character change, right after the *** a name will follow. When I am starting a story off either from the beginning or from the start of another chapter. I will put the name between these ***. Now I'm going to try and stay away from using this but it has happened in the past. These (( )) mean a note from me or a time change. Most of the time I'll just write out the time change. But there are times when I'll get a little lazy so please understand. I will not give my main character any weird powers like my other stories. So this will be the first time that I'll write a normal human story.Which mean's no Sryin's or anything else. I would also like to add that if I start to slip to yell at me to stop. I hope you enjoy the story.

Warning: This story isn't like my other stories it's a lot darker. it involves Rape and a few other things later in the story. You've been warned.

**** RJ ****

I looked at my agent with pure hatred in my eyes. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. "I'm sorry your just not in style right now." I took a few deep breaths trying calm myself. "I have been in style for the last seven years. I have stayed in style the whole time. I let my hair grow a few inches and now I'm not in style. I can cut my damn hair Jake it's not a biggie." I stormed around his office trying not hit him. "It's not that RJ it's you your out. You know I think your a hottie but right now your not what the people want. If you dyed your hair blond and got some blue contacts maybe I could help." I stopped and looked at him. I wanted to make sure I had heard him right. "Let me tell you something my dear friend. I have black hair if I tried to highlight it blond it would look like shit. My eye's are a beautiful green, I've been told. But I will get contacts if need be, but I can't dye my hair." I knew that this wouldn't push him in my favor. I had done a lot to change the way I looked from when I first started. I still went to the gym five time's a week. I ate only what I was told I could eat. I did everything by their rules and didn't question it.

This on the other hand I couldn't do. I was a model I was use to having to change but this was to much. My hair I styled like I was told I did everything I was told. But I refused to dye my hair blond, it just wasn't me. I had flawless skin no tattoo's no scars that could be seen. I couldn't even get my damn ear pierced. I loved what I did who wouldn't but this was starting to get to me. I took a seat in front of him I was almost to tears. "What am I going to do till I come back into the swing?" He sat back and looked at me closely. "You could take a brake for once, you've been working yourself to death. I don't think you've had a day off in more than three years. I know you have money so what are you worried about?" That was one question I didn't really want to answer. "I'll go crazy if I stay still to long. I'm use to being on the move all the time. Did you know I only have a bed at my house? I own a house and I only have a bed. I'm twenty-three years old Jake I need to be doing something. I'm not going to sit back and let life pass me by." I was trying to stop myself from continuing. "I don't have anyone Jake I've haven't made any real friends. I know people God knows that but, when I'm home I feel so alone. I haven't got any family that would want to see me. I cut those ties when I came out and moved here. Please there has to be something you could do." I had let my tears fall I couldn't hold it in.

At the worse I could start scouting for my company. My agency is Elite one of the biggest in the world if not the biggest. I was one of there top model's and I was out of style. In other words no one wanted me right now. I was useless forgotten and powerless to do anything about it. I didn't know anything else but how to be a model. I wasn't dumb I had plans for my life after modeling. I just didn't think they would come into play so soon. I had saved a lot of money over the years I could take a brake. I could sit back and relax but I knew I wouldn't. Sitting alone in a house that was pretty much empty didn't sound like home. I could travel but it would be fruitless and boring. I looked back up at Jake hoping he would try to help me. "I'm sorry I'll call you as soon as I can find something." I just nodded and left his office a little depressed. I pulled my coat on and left the building. I hated New York in the winter it was far to cold. I walked down the street until I found my car. I hopped in and started for my house. I knew I could go six maybe even seven months without work, before I went nuts. I was going to have to buy a TV and get cable put in. I hadn't watched TV in forever I didn't know what I would find. I now had something to look forward to.

***********Nick

I was losing it I hated being on the road so much. I missed my family so much I never really got to see them. I liked the guys don't get me wrong and I would die without Brian. I just missed a normal life that didn't involve always moving. We were just starting our Black and Blue tour. I was starting to get tired of the constant battle for who was best. I was tired of fighting another band for first place. I laid back in my bunk thinking about what life would be in like in a few years. I knew we wouldn't last forever that was an easy bet. I couldn't wait for it to be over for good then I could be myself. I wouldn't have to worry about destroying the band. The guys knew that I was gay and they were cool with it. But they also watched me like a hawk at a concert. I couldn't flirt with any guys or anything like it. I knew that and I had accepted that a long time ago. I just wish they knew that I wouldn't screw up. I hated sleeping on the bus I wanted a bed. I had thought that some of the other guys were gay at first. I had prayed that Brian was at least Bi but nope didn't have that luck. He and Kevin both had gotten married AJ had a girlfriend. Howie was just Howie he never really had just one of anything.

I was really starting to feel alone more now than ever. It's one thing to be gay it's another to be famous and gay. The guys had told me it would cool if I got myself a boyfriend. But he would have to sign a bunch of papers and could never act like we were together in pubic. I didn't want to put anyone threw that it was wrong. So I waited until I wouldn't have to hide who I was. I knew that it could be years before I had a chance to see what I had been missing. But it was worth it the guys needed me as much as I needed them. I got out of my bunk and walked to the front of the bus. I looked out the window as we drove past the city limits. I walked back to my bunk not really wanting to see where we were going. I couldn't sleep but I didn't feel like moving or talking. I let a few tears fall knowing that I could be holding someone right now. I heard one of the other guys moving around. I closed my eyes no need to worry them. I heard my curtain being pulled back. I wanted to open my eyes but didn't. I felt a hand stroke my cheek then nothing. Then I felt lip's on my cheek I almost opened my eyes. My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. Then the curtain closed and whoever it was had left. I peaked out the curtain no one was there. I decided that it had to be a dream.

**********RJ

I had bought myself a couch and a TV, the cable had been put in hours ago. I kept flipping threw the channels. I couldn't find anything good it was all boring. I turned to MTV I like music a lot so hey why not. I watch it for an hour and didn't see one video. "Didn't there use to be music on this channel?" I asked myself since I was alone. I watched anyway there wasn't anything else. I got a little hyper when I did see music video. I was amazed while I watched it things had changed. I watched the five guys and dance and sing. I was impressed that so much and gone into the video. I decided that if they came to my area I would go see them. I had heard of them before but never really paid any attention to them. I picked up my cell phone and called ticket master. I got front roll seats I would try to get some back stage passes before the show. I knew a few people that might be able to help. I watched the video a little longer until it went off. Then I watched and hour of little show's they had. I wasn't a happy camper to say the least. I turned the TV off and decided to look for some clothes to wear. I had a week but hell what else did I have to do.

I didn't know what to wear I had tons of clothes. A lot of them had been given to me or sold for very little. I pulled a pair of my leather pants out and laid them on the bed. I tried to think of something that would look good with them. I was a picky person when it came to how I looked. I wasn't planing on picking up any of the guys but I wanted to look good. I hoped I could make a friend or two maybe then I wouldn't feel so alone. I knew that most likely I wound't but what the hell. I finally found the shirt that would look best with the pants. It was a hunter green silk shirt that looked great. I knew that the shirt would bring my eyes out. My eyes were a deep forest geen with speaks of yellow. The yellow looked gold when the light hit them. I started looking threw a book of hair styles that I use to have. I decided that I wouldn't cut my hair or anything like it. I was going to head to the gym in the morning. I hadn't been in a few days which was unlike me unless I was out of town. Even then I found some place to work out I needed it. After I took a nice long shower I put on a pair of boxers and climed into bed. I knew I would have to look for some shoes tomorrow. I knew they had to be something I could dance in.

*********Nick

I had decided that night hadn't been a dream. I was going to find out who kissed my cheek if it killed me. I got off the bus and walked into the hotel. I followed Kevin until he pointed out my room. Once inside I hit shower letting the water relax my musles. The concert went off without a hitch. I was going to go clubing tonight and I wasn't going to let anyone stop me. Once I got out I got dressed and called a cab. I left the guys a note and told them I'm meet them in New York. It was our next stop and we weren't that far away. I picked up my hat and sun glasses as I walked out of the room. I moved as quitely down the hall as I could. When I got outside the cab was waiting for me. "Where to?" I looked at him and noticed he was kinda cute. "Take me to a club in the Manhattan area." I looked out the window as he started to drive. I was really looking forward having some fun. I knew I would pay for it tomorrow when the guys found the note. I just had to get out and I had a small plan forming. Whoever find's the note first will most likely be the one that kissed my cheek. The way I was thinking the person that kissed my cheek would check in on me tonight. So he would find the note and tell the other guys. I was hoping anyway that way I could find put and end to this.

The cab ride took over an hour and it was getting pretty high. I knew I had more than enough to cover it. Once we pulled up in front of the club I was impressed. I also noticed it was a gay club which really made me happy. I paid the driver and got out, I made sure all my hair was under my hat. Then I checked the glasses that wasn't going to work. So I put on my normal glasses and hoped that would work. I got into the club without being IDed in anyway. I noticed the place was kinda dark and loud. I walked to bar and took a seat looking at the crowd. The first guy I noticed was as tall as I was. He had black and pale skin almost ghost like. But he moved so smoothly when he danced to the music. I wanted to get a closer look so I moved onto the dance floor. Once I was close enough I could see his eye's were so green. The black shirt he was wearing brought his eyes out. I continued to dance toward him hoping to get a better look.I could tell he had a nice body under his clothing. The clothing was mostly lose and allowed him to move freely. I watched him closely his eyes were now closed. I watched him get lost in the music I know I had seen him somewhere before. I couldn't place where but I just knew that I had.

I was now right up beside him dancing. He opened his eyes and smiled at me brightly. He had perfect teeth a perfect smile he was just perfect. My heart was racing when he nodded toward a table. I followed him to what I guessed was his table. He pulled out a chair and offered it to me so I sat down. He took the seat right across from me. "Hi I'm RJ what's you name." I hadn't thought about a code name so I went with the first thought that popped in my head. "I'm Logan nice to meet you." I reached out and shook his hand. When my hand met his it was like something warm flowed over me. I could tell that he felt the same thing. "So um what brings you out tonight?" I didn't know why I asked such a dumb question. "I got really lonely, so I decided to lose myself in the music." I nodded I felt like we were on the same wave length. "How about you Logan?" I looked up into his eye I could have gotten lost. "I got lonely to if you believe it. So I decided to check the night life out." He smiled at me again I took a deep breath. I started thinking that maybe I hadn't made such a wise choice. I knew I couldn't do anything with this guy. I just wanted to talk but I didn't know what he had in mind. "Ok to put your fears at rest, I'm not looking for sex." I looked up shocked it was like he could read me.

*********RJ

I liked this guy but I really wasn't out for sex I just wanted to make that clear. He had amazing eyes I couldn't stop looking into them. I wish I could see his hair but with it being so dark and the hat. I didn't have a chance so I let it go. I couldn't believe the feeling I got when I shook his hand. It was like someone wrapping me up in a blanket. I knew that most likely I would never see this guy again after to night. I could accept that with a lot of heartache but that was life wasn't it. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I just didn't want to lead you in the wrong direction. I'm not here for sex so if that's what your looking for, look somewhere else. Now if you don't mind talking for a while I would love nothing more." I knew I could have just chased him away but I couldn't risk my heart. I needed friend's right now not a lover or quickie. He smiled at me brightly then he almost laughed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to laugh it's just I was thinking the same thing. I'm really new at this and in truth this first I've been to a gay club." I was a bit shocked by his honesty. "Good then were on the same page." I sighed loudly getting that out of the way.

I talked to Logan all night I found out that he had a pretty good life. His family and friend's didn't mind the fact that he was gay. I had a quick flash of jealousy pass threw me then it was gone. I couldn't be upset that he still had family and friends. I should be happy for him so I decided that I would be. After I told him I was a model he looked worried for a second. I didn't get it I thought he just wanted to talk.Then I thought about it for a few seconds. It would be nice to have a boyfriend, then I could understand the worry. So I told him everything I didn't know why I had done so. I just knew that I could trust him that I had to tell him. "So they laid you off?" I just nodded I guess that is what they had done. "How can they do that, it's just wrong." I was touched by his kindness I had that warm feeling again. "It's life I knew it would happen sooner or later. I know I'm not done I'm to young, but it still hurts to know I'm useless." He looked up quickly and took my hand in his. "Your not useless I'm sure you'll get more jobs." I smiled and loved the filling of his hand in mine. "I know I'm just worried that it'll take to long. I don't have any other real skill's, I've taken classes but not real classes." I had taken classes but only ones I thought would help me in modeling. I could do a lot of things but none of it would help me in the real world. I had taken dance classes so I would have better balance and so on.

I had taken some self defence class so I could have a few more poses. I could only exist in that world it's all I knew. I thought I would have ten more years to get real world skills. I knew I couldn't act I didn't have kind of control over myself. I also refused to hide the fact that I was gay. I was hell bent on being myself no matter the cost. I had given up a great deal to be who I was. I was not about to take two step's back for money and fame. I had those in my own little world not as much as others but it was there. I had to stop thinking about because I realized I had slipped off into my own little world. I had to think about the good things in my life. Like Logan I now had a friend at least for the night. I knew I wasn't done with modeling so that was a plus. "So can I concider you a friend?" He smiled and nodded whole heartedly. We talked for a long time after that I didn't even notice the club was starting to clear out.

**********Nick

I was starting to hate the fact that I had lied to him. He was a really nice guy and he was hot to. He told me just about everything that night letting me in his world. I had told him a great deal about myself without reveiling who I was. I looked around the club I noticed it had gotten really quite. Then I looked around and saw that there were only a few people left. I looked at my watch to see that it was almost five in the morning. I had spent the night talking to him. I couldn't believe it I was so shocked. I knew that I would never see him again after this. That thought made me feel so empty . I knew that I wanted to see him again. I just couldn't it would cause to much trouble for the band. "I hate to run like this RJ, but I'm late and I lost track of time." As I was standing I could see the pain in his eyes. He was just like me in that way, he felt so alone. "It was nice meeting Logan" I shook his hand one last time. I ran out of the club and hailed a cab. I was soon on my way but I couldn't help but to look back. I watched him leave the club as the cab turned the corner. I could have sworn I saw tears falling from his eyes. I couldn't be for sure because I was crying as well.

I got to the hotel we would be staying at after the concert. I checked in and went to my room. I knew the guys would soon show up looking for me. I didn't care about the note any more. I had found the guy of my dreams just to lose him. I fell to sleep thinking about how my life could have been different. I now knew that I had fallen for him in just those few hours. I could still see his eyes looking into mine. I could tell that to him I was the only person that mattered. He didn't freak out when he met me and treated me a normal person. I soon drifted off dreaming on him and wondering what it would be like to be in his arms. I didn't know how long I had been asleep but I did wake up when someone came into my room. I looked over to see Brian at the door he didn't look to happy with me. "I know I know but theirs nothing you could do to ruin my day. So go a head and yell all you want." I jumped out of my bed and went to the shower. I didn't hear him following me so I guess he left. I walked back out into my room to see my bag waiting for me. I opened it up and got dressed then headed to the main room. I knew the guys would be waiting for me so I walked slowly.

************RJ

I couldn't get Logan out of my mind. I couldn't believe that I had started crying when he left. I hard time getting home since my vision kept bluring. I had finally grained some control over myself. I was thinking about not going to the concert I was a little depressed. Then I thought about how much money I had paid to go. So I decided that it would be a good idea to go. I went and showered and shaved and all that stuff. I went to my room to catch a few hours of sleep. I woke back with only four hours to get ready I was in a panic. I fixed my hair first then I started putting my clothes on. I brushed my teeth again and headed out to my car. I forgot my coat so I ran back inside, then I forgot my tickets. I was back inside the house I almost for my backstage pass. Once I was sure I had everything I needed I left. The drive was taking forever it looked like I wasn't the only one going to the concert. Once I was inside of the arena I parked and hauled ass to the front doors. I was then shown were to go after the show. I was then seated in the front roll. I was happy but knew I had a bit of wait which wasn't good. It gave me to much time to think about Logan.

I knew that I was going back to that club tonight. I prayed that he would be there waiting for me. I knew that it was highly unlikely but I had to chance it. The lights dimmed a little as the show started. It wasn't who I had come to see but they were pretty good. After that it took another twenty minutes for the real show to start. I was highly impressed with the band so far. I couldn't keep my eyes off the blond that looked the like he was the youngest. I also noticed that he kept looking at me while he sang. There was this one song that I thought he was singing to me. The song was called More Than That. It was like I couldn't hear the other voices only his. My heart was racing wildly as I looked into his eyes. I could have sworn it was Logan on that stage. That couldn't be this guys name was Nick Carter. I had heard the girl's screaming his name. I was glad that I had the backstage pass. I could ask him if he had a twin named Logan. I let myself got lost in his voice as I sat there.

***************Nick

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I thought that my eyes had been playing tricks on me. I had to blink a few times to make myself realize it was him. I didn't know if he knew that it was me that he had talked to. I didn't really care once I saw the backstage pass. I would tell him everything and hope he didn't hate me. I had to chance it no matter he cost. I know people only get a few second chances in there life. I couldn't screw this one up. I had told the guys what I had done and amazingly they understood. I hadn't thought that was going to happen not in a million years. Brian seemed to be upset the most but he thought I hadn't noticed. They had made me promise that I wouldn't go back to that club. I had agreed to that but I had ever intention of braking that promise. That was until I walked out on stage and looked down. I saw him sitting there smiling at me brightly. I thought that he had put two and two together. I had guessed wrong since he wasn't screaming that he knew me. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him for more than a few seconds. The girl's that were around him thought that I was looking at them. When I sang my part in More Than That I sang to him.

When the concert was coming to a close and I had time to run I did. I wanted to look good when he got back here. We had one more song but I didn't have to be there for at least a minute. I told the assistants to get my best clothes out and to get a shower ready. I then ran back on stage to sing with the guys. I noticed that both Brian and Kevin were giving me a strange look. I shrugged it off and started singing my solo looking at RJ. I really had to find out what his real name was. I liked his nickname and all but I really wanted to know. After the song we said our good byes to the fans. We left the stage and I ran to the showers. I was done so quickly Kevin looked worried then I hopped in my clothes. "Why are you in such a rush Nicky? I already cancled the meet and greet." I froze I couldn't move or speak. "Then uncancle it NOW" I almost shouted at him. "Are you sure about that Nick I mean we've all had a tough night." I nodded and moved to the area where we would meet the fans. If I didn't get to see him tonight I would go to the club. I wouldn't hide who I was or anything, and if my picture was taken so be it.

*********RJ

I looked at the guard and held up my pass. "I'm sorry it was cancled, you can get your money back at the front desk." If he thought that I gave up easily he had another thing coming. Something in my gut told me not to give in. I stood there and looked at him closely. I was trying to melt him with my anger it wasn't working. I could be really childish at times this was one of those times. I turned around and started to storm off. "Wait I just got word that it's back on sorry about that." I turned around and smiled brightly. I started thanking God for giving me a brake. I walked backstage and got a little lost. Then a nice guy took me to the area where we could meet the band. As I walked into the room I noticed I was the only guy. I also noticed that it was filled with little girls. I got as close as I could and took seat. As I looked up to the front of the room I noticed that Nick was there. I got a real good look at him this time I scanned him. I was happy that I had dressed up as I put two and two together. I couldn't believe it took me this long. I was a bit upset that he had lied to me but I understood. He was famous and couldn't be as open as I was. I started to see problem's right away. I knew that I could hold a friendship up with no problem. But I couldn't be his boyfriend I refused to hide.

I walked over to him and held my hand out. "It's an honor to meet you Mr. Carter." I smiled warmly shaking his hand. I had that warm feeling flow over me again. I saw the pain in his eyes the minute the words left my mouth. I didn't want to hurt him so I smiled brightly. "Or should I say Logan?" I smiled I wanted him to know I wasn't mad at him. He looked back up and smiled at me. "When did you put it together?" I thought about liying and telling a long time ago. "About three minutes ago when I got a real good look at you." I noticed the other members of the band was walking into the room. "Hi I'm Brian I'm sorry to be rude but could you step back behind the line?" I looked down and blushed moving back. Nick stopped me and pulled me back to him. "It's cool Bri he's a friend." I was a bit taken back by his words but pleased. Brian nodded and walked on to meet the other fans. I talked with Nick for a while and I gave him my cell number. "What's your real name?" I was confused by the question, I hadn't been asked in so long. "Richard, why?" He looked at me with a little confusion in his eyes. "I don't get it why RJ it's a nice nickname, but you have a nice name anyway?" I didn't really want to get into this with so many people around.

I put my hand over my mouth and looked away. I had good reason why I didn't use my real name. I had been told never to even think of using it. "I'll tell you later, but I should be going.You have more impotant people to meet." I said pointing to the screaming girl's that Brian was trying talk to. "Why don't you stay a while and hang out. We could talk more without the mask." I could see that he really wanted me to stay. I was worried that if I stayed I might not want to leave. I knew that if I gave him the chance he could make me take everything back. I knew that the longer I was near him the more I was willing to do to stay. "Ok but I can't take much more of this screaming." He smiled and pulled me out of the room. "My ears thank you kind sir." I said smiling I just couldn't stop smiling around him. I use to hate to smile I only did it when I had to. "So why don't you use your real name?" I knew this was coming I didn't want to answer. "When I came out my family disowned me, I was told never to use my name again. They didn't want there good name draged threw the mud. It's no biggie I'm over it now, so I went with RJ." He had a pained look on his face one I didn't like. "I don't want pity Nick if I wanted that I could tell you more." I moved away I hated pity. His hand was on my shoulder stopping me.

I turned around and looked at him with my mad look. "I don't pity you, I just don't understand how they could be so crule. Plus I still don't get the J part." I looked at him my face starting to soften. "My full name is Richard Wayne Jr." I smiled looking for a place to sit down. He had this look that said ok, he then lead me to some chairs. I was no longer in the dark when it came to anything. I now knew everything about Nick in turn I told him as much about myself as I could. I checked my watch finding out that we had been talking for over an hour. I didn't hear the screaming girls anymore so I guessed it was about time to leave. "It's been great talking to you Nick, but I should get going. I'm sure you have a lot of things to do." I didn't really want to leave but I knew that after today he would be in some other city. I did not want to fall for this guy it would just make my life that much harder. "Well, if your sure you have to go." I wished he didn't make it sound like I was shooting him. "It's not that I have to go, you should be going. I'm sure your bandmates want to get the hell out of here. Plus you have to leave for another city." I was trying to back away from this slowly. That wasn't going to work Nick did not want me to go.

************Nick

I had to find a way to spend more time with him. I saw that Brian and other guys were watching us. I didn't like that feeling all to much. "I don't have to leave until tomorrow morning, we could hang out at the hotel." He looked up and smiled at me lightly. "Are you sure your body guards wouldn't mind?" I didn't understand his question until I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Come on Nicky we have got to get a move on." I looked up at Brian knowing he didn't trust the person I was with. He never did I had tried to make a few friends before. But for some odd reason Brian would do anything to destory it. I looked back to RJ hoping he could help. He stood up and smiled I guessed that he was about to leave. "Hi Brian is it I do believe you just interrupted us we were having a nice talk. So if you wouldn't mind I would like to continue our talk. In other words get lost" I was shocked by what he had just told Brian. Brian seemed to have some trouble with moving and talking. "Listen you little prick, I don't care how big of a fan you are. If you don't back off and get the hell out of here I'll brake you in two." I tried to stand up to get between them but that wasn't going to happen. "Well, for one I'm not all that big of a fan. Two I don't take orders from you so you should back off. Three I know your prick may be little but mine isn't. Four take your best shot pretty boy, I'll show you how we do things here." Brian backed off for a second the he lunged at RJ.

To Be Continued