Note: Here is the episode that was missing. It isn't Nifty's fault. I remember the day I put it on my yahoo group the phone rang knocking me off and I just forgot to put it on the nifty site. I feel so stupid and I apologize to my readers for not putting the story up there and ruining the cliff hanger. I almost cried which is something I didn't know I could do because I wanted everyone to get shocked by the cliffhanger. But there is the season finale coming up...So to those who already read episode thirteen and knows what happens then I am sorry but to those who haven't have fun reading...
Love makes us to crazy things. It makes us want to hurt the one we love the most in hopes of making them love us back. It makes us fear that we will lose the one we love to another. It can also drive a man insane. But love was having a different affect on me. It was killing me softly.
"Aaron is here Dane," Mom said as I stood in my bedroom. I looked at myself in the mirror.
"I can see why Anthony doesn't want me," I said looking at my reflection. "I'm hideous."
"Dane, did you hear me?" She asked as knocking on the door once more.
"Yes, I did," I said with a sigh. I opened the door. "You can stop knocking on the door like a psycho."
"God, ever since the trip to the slopes you have been more crankier than usual," She commented as she followed me down the steps. "Is everything okay."
"Bye sis," I said to Salina as she was in the kitchen eating a muffin with Terry. "Come on Aaron."
"Dane, I asked you a question," Mom said from behind me. "Is everything okay?"
"Nope," I said as I walked outside. "Aaron, if you even open your mouth."
"I wasn't going to say much..." He began. "You really hate her don't you?"
"Hate is such a strong word," I said. "More like she is really working my last nerve."
"So how are you?" He asked me. I couldn't tell him that I hated life. That my love rejected me and is now fucking his girlfriend. I couldn't tell him that on some level Seth was satisfying me.
"I'm great," I said with a forced smile.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" Nicole asked Anthony as they drove in his car.
"I have been wanting to check out that Hostel movie," Anthony said with a shrug. "You wanna go with me?"
"I'd love to," She said as he turned into the school driveway. "What's it about?"
"I really don't know," He said. "All I know is, people bleed and that's a pretty good movie there."
"That was a little dark, babe," She said leaning over and kissing him.
Anthony cut the car as he kissed her hard and passionately. Mikey knocked on the window of the car.
"Damn it, Mikey," Anthony said as he jumped. Nicole smiled at her boyfriend and his best friend.
"What? I can't have you two upstaging Julieanne and me can I?" He asked with a shrug.
"Trust me," Nicole said climbing out of the car. "You and Jules are not in our league."
"Bite me, Nic," Jules said walking up to the three. "I will have you know that we are some freaks."
"Got that right," Nicole teased.
"Damn it," Rusty said as he walked from his car. "I take it that you haven't seen Dane."
"Nope," Mikey said without caring.
"Me neither," Julieanne said. Rusty growled in frustration.
"You alright there, dude?" Anthony asked him.
"I just needed to talk to Dane about something," He said with a sigh. "I guess I will have to catch up with him later."
"No, you won't," Julieanne said pointing to Aaron turning in the school. "He rides with Aaron every morning." Everybody made their way to Aaron's parking space.
"We have are own fan club, Dane," Aaron said as he got out the car.
"Really? Where are they?" Mikey joked as he looked around.
"Dane, can I talk you for a second?" Rusty asked me. I looked at him.
"Um...sure," I said as I begun to follow him but Aaron stopped me.
"Wait a sec," He said causing us to turn around. "I have been thinking."
"Oh god," Nicole muttered. "Hell froze over."
"We should do something together this weekend," He said looking at us. "With everything that is going on, we should hang together."
"I thought that was what the ski trip was for?" Mikey asked. "But you have two people trapped down in a cave and people getting raped." I sighed heavily.
"What did you have in mind?" I asked him. I really didn't want to hang with everybody.
"I was hoping Nicole might have something in mind," Aaron said with a blush. Leave it to Aaron to come up with an idea without all the answers.
"I actually might have an idea," Nicole said thinking about it. "And it is so better than going to see that move Brothel, Anthony."
"Hostel, babe, Hostel," Anthony said kissing her cheek.
"Whatever," She said grabbing Julieanne. "We gotta go talk to Mary and we will get back with you at lunch Aaron." She said pulling Julieanne along with her.
"Okay," Aaron said with a wave. Anthony stared at me as I tried to ignore him. Mikey stared at Anthony staring at me. Aaron was in thought. And Rusty....
"Are we gonna talk?" He asked impatiently.
"Oh, yeah," I said walking away. "Bye Aaron."
"Bye Dane," Aaron and Anthony both said and Mikey and I both gave him a confused look.
"Nicole, I am seriously shocked that you are actually in class," Mary said as she sat on Julieanne and Nicole's desk. "Ten minutes early." Nicole smiled at her.
"I have an idea," Nicole said choosing to ignore Mary's comments. "Since Aaron wants to do something together this weekend how about we go to the Norman Bates house?"
"What?" Julieanne asked her. "What the hell?"
"What do you mean what?" Nicole asked her. "I thought about a fantasy date night like I saw on One Tree Hill but one we need equal amounts of guys and girls. Two the boys wouldn't be interested in that."
"And we girls would be interested in spending the weekend in the psycho motel?" Julieanne asked.
"Well, if you don't wanna play with the big kids it's okay," Nicole said. "However, I think you will be alone because more than likely Mikey is gonna want to do this." Julieanne looked at Mary.
"It would be fun," She said with a shrug. "We should did it for Halloween. It would have been more scarier."
"Nic, you know I hate that movie," Julieanne said fighting a losing case.
"What's it gonna be, Jules?" Nicole asked her. Julieanne didn't say anything but nodded her head. "I will take that as a yes."
Mikey and Anthony stared at one another.
"What?" Anthony asked breaking the stare. Mikey shook his head. "No tell me. Everytime I look up you look at me. So what the fuck is it?" Anthony still had some harsh feelings toward him since the camping trip.
"Are you gay?" Mikey asked. Anthony was shocked at the question and Mikey was even more shocked that he asked the question.
"What?" Anthony asked after a moment.
"Are you...gay?" Mikey asked slowly. He wasn't sure that he was gonna get an answer that he would like.
Anthony was at a loss for words. How would his best friend react if he knew he was gay?
"No," Anthony said trying to sound sick at the thought.
"Hesitation," Mikey said. "You hesitated."
"Only cause I was shocked at the question," Anthony said and he did the thing with his fingers when he was nervous about something.
"He really is gay," Mikey thought to himself.
"I'm not gay," Anthony said with a little more force. "I love Nicole."
"And you are not interested in Dane in a romantic sort of way?" Mikey asked him.
Anthony felt like knives were about to go through his heart if he denied his love for me.
"I am not interested in Dane in that way," Anthony said softly. Mikey didn't know what to believe.
"Okay," He said with a small smile. "I am sorry I asked that it's just...."
"I have been acting weird, huh?" Anthony asked. "Around Dane."
"Yeah," Mikey said. He still had his doubts about Anthony. "But you know you said you aren't so everything's good."
"Everything's good," Anthony said although in his heart he knew that wasn't true.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My face showed so much pain. I had been in Pain for awhile. Before Anthony. Before Seth. Before My Dad died. How can I deal with that pain?
"How do I deal?" I asked myself. I jumped when a stall door opened. Matt walked out.
"Hey," He said like we didn't have a history.
"Don't talk to me," I said turning my back on him. True he wasn't as strong as Seth, but he was his friend. They had to be in cahoots together.
"Dane please," He said grabbing my hand. Matt was at a crossroads. Seth had left him without telling him where he was going. He was standing here having a conversation with the boy who doesn't even know he stole his love's heart.
"What do you want?" I asked him as I shook his hand out of mine. Matt knew what he had to do. He had to befriend me on his own. He had to take me out on his own. He had no one. Luke didn't count. Seth left him.
"I wanted to apologize before I..." He trailed off.
"Before what?" I asked impatiently. "Before you get the hell out of my face?"
"Before I kill myself," He said with a sigh. I stood open-mouth.
"Kill yourself?" I asked him. "But why?"
"I have been unhappy for so long," He said forcing tears to come out of his eyes. "And I thought I found happiness with Seth. But that wasn't true. He forced me to become apart of the things that he wanted to do to hurt other people. He forced me to hurt you."
"I...I had no idea," I said still shocked. "But you don't have to kill yourself for your redemption."
Matt sighed. "I don't have to kill myself," He said grabbing my hand. "Alone."
"Huh?" I asked him.
"I am afraid to do it alone," He said. "When I look into your eyes I see me. I see pain. I see suffering. Why don't we end it all and go to a better place?"
"Matt, I don't know," I said unsure. Matt had me where he wanted me. My one weakness. Play on my emotions and I am yours.
"Please?" He said to me. I looked into his eyes. This could be an alternative.
"Okay," I said still slightly unsure.
"Psycho house?" Aaron asked as we sat at lunch.
"Yeah, I thought of it earlier," Nicole said resting her head on Anthony's shoulder.
"Why can't that be me?" I asked myself. "Why can't I be the one with him?"
"Dane," Mary said breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Huh?" I asked looking around.
"I asked did you think you'd be interested in coming along," She said.
"Um...yeah," I said as Chris and Trey sat down on either side of me.
"What are you two doing here?" Anthony asked them.
"It's called having lunch," Trey said sarcastically. "We all do it at the same time everyday."
"Yeah, but why are you eating over here?" Anthony asked.
"Ant, they helped us out when you were in the cave with Dane," Nicole said with a glance at Trey. "I thought I told you that."
"So?" Anthony asked stubbornly.
"So I don't think I ever got a thank you," Chris said to him.
"And you never will," Anthony said. Nicole nudged him. "No. I am not saying thank you to this loser. Just because he acts like a good guy doesn't mean he is. He will turn back into the ass he is. It's all he knows how to be."
"Anthony shut up and say thank you so we can hear you stop bitching all day," I said to him angrily. "Chris helped save our lives and you can't even be grateful?" Anthony gave me a look.
"Thank you," He muttered. Chris had a smug smile on his face. Nicole flashed Mikey a look.
"Mikey, can I see you for a sec?" She asked him.
"Yeah," Mikey said getting up to follow her.
"So who is riding with who?" Julieanne asked.
"I refuse to ride with Anthony," I said. "After being stuck in a cave with him for god knows how long, I can stand to be around him for the hour and a half drive."
"What the hell is your problem?" Anthony asked me.
"What the hell is my problem? You really want me to say what the hell my problem is?" I asked him. Julieanne had a feeling what was going on.
"You two need to go talk about this somewhere quiet," She said with a stern look. I sighed and followed Anthony into the hallway.
"God, you would think they were secretly in love or something," Aaron said.
"Who you telling?" Chris and Julieanne said in unison. They flashed each other looks.
"You follow me," She said to him and got up.
"What's with everyone leaving?" Aaron asked.
"Did you ask him?" Nicole asked him as they stood in the hallway.
"Yeah," Mikey said. "He said that he wasn't."
"And you believed him?" She asked him. Mikey sighed.
"Mostly," He said to her.
"So there is still room for doubt?" She asked him.
"I mean I just have a suspicion that he may be lying to me," Mikey said. "I mean he listens to Dane back in the cafeteria instead of you. I don't know. Maybe he is gay."
"I need you to find out, Mikey," She said desperately.
"He is your boyfriend," Mikey said irritably. "Why don't you do it?" He turned and walked off letting the gears in Nicole's head go wild.
"I just can't be with you," Anthony said as we stood in the courtyard.
"Why not?" I asked him.
"Why does it matter?" He asked. "Huh? Why do you need to know?"
"Because this is my heart we are talking about here," I said. "So tell me why the hell you can't be with me."
"Because I am not gonna be the fag of falcon," He said. "Just because I am in love with you doesn't mean I am gonna out myself to be with you."
"Oh my god," I said covering my mouth.
"What? You wanted to know," He said throwing his hands in the air. "Yeah, I love you Dane. "
"Anthony," I said trying to stop him.
"But I can love you and date Nicole," He said not paying attention to me.
"You fucking liar," Mikey said punching him across his face.
"Oh my god," I said covering my mouth.
"How could you fucking lie to me," Mikey said punching Anthony in the face.
"Mikey, stop you're gonna kill him," I said trying to push him off Anthony.
"Don't fucking touch me with those fag hands," He said pushing me. I fell and hit my head on a brick.
"Dane?" Anthony said blood pouring from his face. He crawled over to me. "He's bleeding." There was a deep gash in my head.
"Shit...I...." Mikey said struggling for words.
"Just get fucking help," Anthony said trying to keep from crying.
"So you like Dane, huh?" Julieanne asked Chris as they walked back towards the cafeteria.
"Since I first met him," He said. He was still reeling from her guessing. But Julieanne is smarter than she looks. "He is the reason I wanted to change. I knew he wouldn't stand for the old me so I changed myself for him. But that maybe futile now that I can tell that he is in love with Anthony."
"And do you think Anthony might like Dane back?" Julieanne asked.
"Anthony has the same longing as I do when I look at Dane," Chris said. "He doesn't like Dane. He is in love with Dane." Julieanne was about to respond but Aaron and Rusty brushed past them.
"What in the world?" Julieanne asked and noticed Mary and Trey struggling to keep up.
"Mikey and Anthony got into a fight outside in the courtyard," Trey said. "We heard someone got hurt."
"Mikey," Julieanne said taking off running. The four of them made it outside to see me being put onto a stretcher.
"What the hell?" Chris asked confused. They pushed through the crowd to see Mikey in handcuffs and Nicole trying to console a bruised up Anthony.
"Why is Dane on a stretcher?" Aaron asked Anthony.
"He fucking killed him," Anthony said enraged pointing at Mikey. "And I am gonna kill him."
"Anthony stop," Nicole said as Aaron, Rusty, and Chris held him back.
"I swear I will kill you, Michael," Anthony said. And everyone knew it was serious when Anthony called Mikey by Michael.
"Baby, what happened?" Julieanne asked trying to talk to her boyfriend.
"My best friend is a fag," He said with a look that scared Julieanne. "I am best friends with a faggot."
"Mikey stop that," Julieanne chastised but Mikey wasn't finished.
"Nic, he is gay," Mikey said as the police pulled him away. Nicole looked into Anthony's eyes.
"Why?" She asked him. Anthony looked up at her. "Why the hell couldn't you tell me?"
"I'm so sorry, babe," Anthony said trying to grab her. Nicole pulled away and ran off. Julieanne watched as the ambulance pulled off along with her boyfriend in the back of a police car. She then rushed after Nicole.
Anthony turned and looked at Aaron who was stunned.
"Aaron...."
"Don't," Aaron said rushing after the two girls. Anthony stood alone as Rusty went after Aaron. He turned and he saw the looks of shock and disgust on the entire student body's face. He knew hell was to come. So he took off running.
"I can't believe he is fucking gay," Aaron said to the three of them as they sat in the parking lot. "He's a queer."
"Anthony, stop," Julieanne said trying to hold it together. "We need to worry about Dane and his well-being."
"Why? My boyfriend is gay," Nicole said crying. "I turned him gay."
"No you didn't Nicole," Aaron said hugging her. "He's been a pervert forever." Julieanne knew that Aaron was a stone wall when he was mad so she turned to Rusty.
"Can you drive me to the police station?" She asked him.
"Yeah, come on," Rusty said and they climbed into his car.
"This is all Dane's fault," Nicole said in between sobs.
"What do you mean?" Aaron asked confused.
"I mean Dane awoke these...desires inside of Anthony," Nicole said and she saw the look of shock on Aaron's face. "You didn't know Dane was gay did you?"
"He can't be," Aaron said standing up. Nicole smiled in spite of the situation.
"He is a fucking cocksucking Homo," Nicole said and Aaron rushed to his car.
Aaron sped off and Nicole smiled to herself.
" I hope you stay alive Dane," She said. "Because if you don't die, you'll wish you were dead."
Matt sat on top of the hood of Luke's car. Luke walked out of the school and towards his car. He sighed.
"Now is not a good time," Luke said opening the car.
"Now is a great time," Matt said climbing off.
"I don't have time for this, Matt," Luke said.
"Look, I know you are worried about if Dane is gonna live or not," Matt said. "So that is why I want to go to the hospital with you."
"Why do you care?" Luke asked him. Matt sighed.
"Because you care," Matt said. "And because you care, I care." Luke looked into Matt's eyes for any signs of deception or deceit but couldn't find a trace of any.
"Get in," Luke said unlocking the passenger's side.
Julieanne walked into the police station. She headed to the front desk.
"May I help you?" The receptionist asked.
"You brought in a Michael Jusino," Julieanne said to her. "Could you tell me where he is so I can pick him up." Julieanne needed to get her boyfriend and protect him from what is to come.
"Miss, I don't think he will be leaving the station anytime soon," The lady said to her politely. Julieanne frowned.
"Why not?" Julieane asked. The lady shrugged. "Someone just tell me what the hell is happening. Please."
"I take it your are his girlfriend?" A man asked from behind her. "Julie?"
"Anne," Julieanne added.
"Okay, Anne I am sorry," He said to her. "Michael just said Julie. "
"It's Julieanne," She sighed. "Julie and Anne together make...Julieanne." She didn't mean to come off so sarcastic but she was mad.
"Well, Julieanne perhaps I should speak with you alone in my office," He said to her. "I am Detective Sheldon."
"Okay," She said following him into the office. She saw Mikey as she passed an interrogation room. She waved at him but he didn't wave back.
"Don't take it to offense," The Detective said. "We can see him but he can't see us."
"Oh," She said as she stepped into the office. "You have a nice office." She was being polite. It looked cramp.
"No need to lie," He said with a smile. "It looks like a cubby hole."
"So what's going on?" Julieanne asked him.
"Michael is being charged with involuntary assault," Sheldon explained. "Apparently, He and Anthony had a scuffle of some sort and when Dane tried to intervene and stop the situation Michael pushed him and he hit his head on a brick."
"Oh my god!" Julieanne said covering her mouth. "So...Um.... What happens now?"
"We need to hope that Dane will not die," Detective Sheldon said. "If he does, Michael could be charged with involuntary manslaughter." Julieanne couldn't take anymore she stood up and walked out the door. Sheldon sighed softly.
Julieanne stopped at the glass window to look in on Mikey. As if he knew she was standing there he got up and placed his hand on the glass. Julieanne fought her tears back as she rushed out the station.
Aaron slid quietly into the room to see me. He looked down at my motionless body.
"Dane," He said to me. "Dane why? Why did you have to be gay? We always said that we would marry some girls and move in together. That we would have kids with them and we'd each be the uncle that they loved like a second dad. You always joked that I would be the better dad because you hated kids. And remember? I made the bet that my kid would walk before yours. But it won't happen. Because you are a fucking faggot and for that we can't be friends." He got up and turned to see Salina standing in the doorway.
"Get the hell out," She said to him.
"Salina..." Aaron begun but had no idea what to say.
"He is your best friend and you are gonna desert him because he is gay? She asked him. "So get the hell out of here before I remove you myself." Aaron looked back at me and then walked past her. Salina was initially shocked that she just found out I was gay but she still loved me none the less.
In the hall, My mom and Terry saw Aaron standing crying. They were coming from the cafeteria to get some lunch for Salina.
"Aaron?" Mom asked him as she stepped over to him. He turned to her. My mom had only seen Aaron cry one time before and that was when she accidentally ran over his dog when he was nine but she brought him another one and he forgot about the old.
"I am so sorry, Mrs. Martinez," He said to her.
"For what, honey?" She asked him. "None of this is your fault."
"I just found something out about Dane and I...I can't be friends with him anymore," He said to her. Mom shared a look with Terry.
"Well, whatever it is, it can't be that bad," She said sympathetically. "What is it?"
"I can't say," Aaron said shaking his head. "I don't want you to hate me."
"Just tell us," Terry said firmly. Aaron sighed.
"I found out Dane is gay," He said and saw the look of shock on both Terry and Mom's face. Aaron panicked and ran out of the hospital leaving a stunned mother and her fiancee standing there.
Luke was about to turn into the entrance of the hospital but continued straight.
"Where are you going?" Matt asked him. Luke shook his head.
"I can't do it," He said to him. "I just can't go and see him lying there and there is not a damn thing I can do about it."
"Luke..." Matt said to his...."Boyfriend".
"No!" Luke said turning into an empty parking lot. He broke down at the steering wheel. Matt felt helpless, as he didn't know what to do or say. "When I went to see Dane a couple of months ago in the hospital, it hurt me to see that he was in that coma or what not. He had fainted because of some repression over the death of his father. And I felt helpless because he may not have woke up. Now he is in the same place and there is a good chance that Dane may never wake up. God...The hospital is like Dane's second home or something."
"So what now?" Matt asked him. Luke sighed and regained his composure.
"We go home," Luke said and he would force himself not to feel guilty for not going to see me. Matt smiled inwardly.
"I hope he does die," He thought to himself. "Then I can have Luke without him wanting Dane."
Anthony walked up the steps to Nicole's home. He had to make things right before he did what he had to do. He knocked on the door. Nicole answered it and was about to close the door but he blocked her.
"Wait," He said to her. Nicole stood to hear what he had to say. "Nicole, I am so sorry. I know I should have told you but I just started figuring this shit out myself. I mean I never wanted to be gay. Before I met Dane, I never wanted guys and I was satisfied with you but now...."
"But now you want him to suck your dick instead of me," Nicole said folding her arms.
"Nic," He said with a look of desperation. He wanted her to forgive him.
"Anthony, you caused me enough pain to last a long time," She said. "Just go away and have fun with Dane." She shut the door in his face. And Anthony sighed and walked down the steps.
"Bye Nicole," He said climbing into his car.
Quiet. Peace. No Pain. No Hurt. It was just what I wanted. What I needed.
"Dane," A voice said to me. I tried to ignore it. It wanted me to come back. But I didn't want too. I was happy where I was. If this was Death, it felt good. "Dane!"
"What?" I asked looking around. There was no one there. Just white.
"You have to go back," The voice said. "You have to go back."
"Why?" I asked. I felt as is I was talking to myself.
"Anthony needs you," The voice said. I scoffed.
"That is hilarious," I said with a laugh.
"Dane, close your eyes," The voice said. I don't know why I did.
"What am I suppose to be seeing?" I asked. "Black? I like the white better. It's soothing."
"This," The voice said to me. Anthony stood on a cliff.
"I love you Dane," He said to me. "I love you with all my heart but I can't have you." He kissed a picture in his hand and I gasped as he jumped off the cliff.
"Oh my god," I said opening my eyes. "I have to go back." Anthony was gonna kill himself.
I closed my eyes. Willing myself to go back.
"Why am I still here?" I asked opening my eyes. The voice finally became a body. It was me. I stared at myself. How was this possible?
"You're flat lining," The other me said. I felt something pulling at me.
"I'm dying," I said as I could feel it washing over me.
"Somebody help," Julieanne said as she stood in my room. "Please somebody help."
"What's going on?" Doctor Carver asked walking into the room.
"I don't know," Julieanne said. "I was...I was talking and then he started beeping." A bunch of doctors rushed in.
"Prep him," Carver said to the doctors as they got the charges ready to shock me back to life. Julieanne stood crying.
"Help him," She said hoarsely. Doctor Carver pulled her out the room.
"We need you to stay out here," He said to her. Julieanne nodded and watched as the doctors did what they could to save me.
"Clear!" Doctor carver said shocking me. No response. "Clear!" Again no response. Julieanne stifled a sob.
"What's going on?" Anthony asked her. Julieanne was too emotional to talk.
Carver began to do CPR. "Come on," He said. "Wake up! Wake up!" Another Doctor placed a hand on his shoulder.
Anthony glanced at the Monitor, which read O.
"No," He said realizing what was going on. Carver sighed.
"Time of Death...8:47 p.m."
It was brought to my attention that the story is becoming disoriented and I had no idea. I am sorry if it is getting disoriented and confusing but if you don't let me know how I am doing then how do I know I am making mistakes. Anyways, this is why feedback is greatly needed so tell me what you think of my story and screwup.