Chapter six - A Place to Return to
Finally, after two weeks of rain, the skies cleared and Father announced we would leave, on the morrow, for Fordingham. Deep in my heart, I had hoped he'd forgotten about me going or he'd decided to let the Fordingham scrivener handle the contract of sale. But alas, he was still as determined as ever that I would accompany them. I sent Bitte into town to inform Tamas and just after dinner that night, he slipped in through my door. In answer to my protests that he was risking too much by entering the castle he shrugged, and then kissed me.
"I won't be seeing yeh fer who knows `ow long," he said fiercely. "I'm going to stay with yeh as long as I can."
Tamas stayed with me until just before dawn, when Bitte woke him and escorted him out. Within minutes of his leaving, Lehi rapped sharply on my door and entered my room. His entrance scared me so badly I had to grab the table for support, if he had shown up any sooner it would have been disastrous. I made a mental note to reward Bitte for his timing. I was so engrossed in considering what he'd like that I missed what Lehi said to me. Apologizing profusely, I turned my full attention to Lehi and his endless blether about what a great time we would have together. I didn't want to have a great time with him; I wanted to have any time, even a boring time with Tamas.
Bitte wouldn't tell me what they talked about when he returned but his face looked especially determined. Together we cleaned up the mattress, leaning it up against the wall to air and dry, and the small amount of bedding that wasn`t already packed. Bitte took the blanket we'd used to clean our bodies down to the laundress, before meeting me in the courtyard. The courtyard was a crowded, noisy mass of men on horseback, wagons and people milling about saying goodbye or finishing the provisioning of the wagons.
Father gave me the option of riding in one of the supply wagons instead of perching precariously on horseback. I thanked him graciously and climbed into the back of a wagon carrying bedding and clothes chests. Bitte hopped up after me, nimble as a sprite and moved things around until I had a comfortable seat on the bedrolls. A large clothes chest made a sturdy back to lean against and drowse or think. Bitte grinned at me as he tucked a large rucksack under the seat where inquisitive eyes couldn`t see.
"From Cook," he whispered and I smiled, the poor woman probably feared I'd starve to death before returning.
"As if an'one could feed `im as well as me," I could hear her puffing as she handed the bag to Bitte.
We both shared a snicker and settled in for the trip. The road out of the castle had been fairly well maintained but it wasn't long before we turned onto a far less pleasant road. The wagon bounced and lurched and I decided horseback might not have been such a bad ride afterall. Lehi rode up along side the wagon and inquired about how I was doing. I assured him I was fine and he nodded and went to join his fellows. Bitte had stretched out on a long trunk, one leg crossed over the other, eyes closed. I was certain he wasn't asleep though, something in the tension of his arms under his head said his senses were fully alert, despite the relaxed stance. I smiled and turned to look at the fields and trees passing by. It really was pleasant to get out of the castle for a while, to feel the breeze on my face and hear the sounds of the countryside. My thoughts drifted to the night before and I closed my eyes; with a smile remembered Tamas' voice whispering in my ear and the feel of his body against mine. Tamas' fingers and lips teased my body and cock until I could do nothing but gasp for air and shake. Tamas in my bed was far more intoxicating than any ale ever and I made an enormous mess against his belly.
I winced remembering the flame that raced across my abdomen only moments later, in sharp contrast with the warm then cool cum, as he came and my hastily muffled scream of pain, followed by half a bucket of cold water poured slowly over the burn soaking the bed and me but cooling the burn.
"Nicco, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I tried to hold the fire but I can't, not yet, I'm sorry," Tamas sobbed. "My control is still not good enough, I been so scared of burning yeh and now I `ave! I'm sorry."
"I was sure I could control it, after ta other day in tha lane. I ne'er burnt yeh then nor m'self," Tears streaked down his face. "But I failed yeh, Nicco. I failed!"
All traces of the competent craftsman and mature family man disappeared, leaving only a boy inconsolable from shame tainted with self-loathing. It suddenly occurred to me that this child man might be the real Tamas, a frightened hurt child hiding behind the façade of a strong man. I pondered the thought and finally decided that both faces were equally those of the young man I loved.
"Shhh," I said stroking his hair and holding him close. "It's a small burn, I'll heal quickly enough. I`m a man too, I can take responsibility for what happens to my body."
I wrapped my arms and a warm blanket around him and held him close, listening to his tears and apologies. Quietly I stroked his hair like a child, speaking in soft soothing tones until his tears stopped. After that, I held this boy on the brink of becoming a man until we both fell asleep.
The wagon wheel hit a rock or some other equally as unyielding of an object in the road and bounced everything and everyone in the wagon. Bitte tumbled off the trunk and almost into my lap and I doubled over in pain. Bitte glanced up at the driver, who after making sure everything that should be in the wagon, was still in the wagon went back to his job without a second glance. The boy pushed up my doublet; I leaned back against the chest as tears ran out the sides of my eyes.
"Sorry Nicco," he said sliding my hose down so he could check the bandage on my lower abdomen.
"It's all right; it was just a moment of pain. Don't you ever tell Tamas, I don't care what your loyalty to him is, never tell him," I said.
Bitte nodded his dark eyes unreadable. He adjusted the soft cloth; he had scavenged that morning, most likely from Melly. For a moment, I smelled the goo he had slathered on my belly that morning; nasty smelling but it did help the pain. He dug into the rucksack and found another piece of cloth, which he folded and tucked into the bandage. I leaned against the chest and tried to empty my mind. I listened to Tamas' heartbeat, amazed that it sounded so strong even though I was every minute getting farther and farther away from him. Bitte finished with the bandage and retied my hose to a couple of hastily rigged loops inside my doublet, since my belt would have lain across the burn and chafed it terribly.
"I have to thank you for the cold water," I said softly. "How did you know we'd need it?" Bitte didn't answer right off; he just stared at me with those dark, unreadable eyes.
"My Gran," he said finally. "She is very old and very wise. Bitte' she said to me, you must watch the Tlacha very closely. He thinks he's a man but he is still a boy. Always be one step ahead of him, especially when protecting the one you serve.'"
Bitte looked out over the side of the wagon. I wondered if he missed his Gran and the rest of his family. Silence stretched out between us, but it was a comfortable silence and I waited patiently to see if he would go on.
"Gran sent me with Tlacha to protect me," he said finally. "She is very old and will die soon. The one who will take her place has already tried to kill me more than once; it's only her protection that has stopped him." He turned to look at me, this time his eyes were furious and his mouth was set in a hard line of determination.
"Her protection and my wits," he said shortly. His fist clenched on his leg. "I will return one day and take back what's mine."
I didn't answer, Bitte wasn`t looking for an answer or for sympathy, all he needed was my understanding. I leaned back and stared at the sky. That mighty expanse so near to and yet so far from humans, the home of birds and butterflies and dragons. I stretched my hand up and studied the sky between the fingers, when he learned to fly would I be able to catch up?
The trip to Fordingham blessed us with lovely spring weather, not hot or cold, and we arrived there in good time on the second day. As I feared the local scrivener was rather annoyed with Father for bringing me along, but he nodded in sympathy when I explained the circumstances later in private.
"Sounds like me Mum," he said. "Nowt will change `er mind when she decides on a thing."
The original plan to be in Fordingham only four days was overturned when Father discovered an old friend living half a day away, so leaving most of his men in town, he took Lehi, me and a select few men to spend a few days there, which in turn stretched to two weeks. All of my fears of dealing with strangers were eased by Bitte, who made sure I had a decent room and more than my share of food. I was embarrassed by his attention but also secretly pleased.
True to his word, Lehi tried to introduce me to the tavern girls. I simply smiled and spoke politely to them while making sure they saw my hands. The serving wenches at Father's friend reacted predictably and soon as I was left alone with Bitte for company. Lehi was mildly put out by my reticence but made up for it by having a good time without me.
In the end, it was almost a month before we returned home, the trip back huddled under leather wagon covers as rain drenched everything and soaked our clothes. Even my fresh clothes managed to be wet when I dressed at the inn the second morning, I shivered miserably and wished I had a warm firedrake with me. Bitte had hung the bedding along with my braies and shirt near the fire over night so I had at least dry blankets and undergarments to start the day, even though they were wet by nightfall.
The rain had turned the roads to a sea of thick nasty mud that slowed both the carts and the riders down. I sat drowsing and shivering the afternoon of the third day, jerking awake to a cry of pure joy. Sticking my head out from under the cover, I saw that the rain had stopped and the sun was coming out. But no one I could see seemed particularly happy, they all looked tired and cold. I slid back under the cover and covered my ears.
Tamas' heartbeat pounded lustily in my ears and I realized the shout had come from him. I smiled softly; this had to mean we'd be home soon. I wanted a hot bath, dry hose, hot mead and Tamas, in that order. A short time later, I think, Bitte slid under the cover and informed me that the castle was in view and we'd be there before nightfall. I cheered in relief.
Lehi came along the cart and hailed me. I crawled out to talk to him; he looked bedraggled and tired; his heavy riding breeches were covered with mud to his hips and his boots were unrecognizable. His hood drooped in the front almost as badly as his liripipe and he impatiently pushed the brim up.
"We're sending the servants on ahead to prepare hot baths and hot food," he said, "Bitte can ride pillion with Keenan, if you wish."
"Oh yes!" I exclaimed. "Thank you Lehi!"
The rest of the ride to the castle was uneventful and painfully slow. I spotted Bitte just inside the gate as the cart pulled into the courtyard. He waved motioning me to him. Glancing at the driver, who seemed only interested in getting inside and getting out of the wagon, I jumped out of the cart and ran to Bitte. He informed me that the there was such a crush in the kitchens of servants trying to get hot water and food for their masters that he couldn't step into the kitchen without fearing for his life. Disappointed I nodded and wrapped my arms morosely around myself.
"But," he said, "We are not entirely bereft."
"Eh?" I said surprised.
Bitte took my hand and dragged me toward the garrison smith, explaining that he'd run down there to beg some hot water, so I could at least warm my body. Both Chohee's mother and wife had been aghast at the situation and immediately put a pair of hefty stew pots full of water into the fireplace to boil.
"And there's fresh bread!" he said excited. Bread was one of the first things spoiled by the incessant rain.
I laughed and ruffled his hair. My thanks for his efforts were many and very sincere and he flushed in pleasure. I would have to thank Tamas again for finding him for me; I didn't know what I'd have done without him that month. He'd run tirelessly for me ensuring I had enough to eat and my clothes were clean and mended, not to mention helping me translate a text I couldn't read, it being written in a Continental language. He also tended to the burn on my belly and it was nearly gone by now, much to my relief, as I wasn't looking forward to Tamas seeing just how badly he'd burned me after all.
Chohee's mother, Mistress Jane, turned out to be a short round woman with the florid complexion of a red head and an easy smile. She hurried me into the cot and into a tiny inner room where I found hot water, soap and fresh, dry clothes. It felt heavenly to be warm, dry, and clean, though I felt embarrassed for making such a mess on her bedroom floor. She laughed and patted me on the arm saying she'd send the `wee ones' in to clean after a bit. I bowed my deepest and kissed her hand by way of thanks. She colored in embarrassment and shooed me over to the table. Marin pulled my hand impatiently until I followed her to the table while Sarah watched shyly from her mother's side. I squeezed in between two young boys about Bitte's age, who introduced themselves as Tev and Mik. Tev, I recognized as the boy Chohee had sent into town to carry my message. I thanked him again and he grinned in pleasure.
Mistress Jane pressed both Bitte and me to eat our fill, which we did. Chohee's wife, Molly, served us bowls of hot soup and fresh hot bread. I had imagined Chohee's wife to be a tall woman more fitting with her large husband. Instead, she was a small blond girl, whom I suspected couldn't be more that nineteen. Tamas called her religious, so I'd expected someone more austere than the fluttery woman with the laughing eyes. I understood looking at her what had attracted Chohee in the first place.
Master Madoc and Chohee joined us at the table as I finished my second bowl of bean and lentil soup. They asked questions about Fordingham, particularly in reference to the smithy there. I breathed a silent prayer of thanks for paying such close attention during my times in either smithy, and answered most of their questions intelligently. Their interest laid primarily in the use of waterwheels to run trip hammers for pounding ores. Chohee wanted to set one up in the castle river but Master Madoc had concerns about the safety and effectiveness of letting the water pound the ore. They argued back and forth so ferociously that Mistress Jane finally threatened to throw them both out on their ears if they uttered one more word about trip hammers that night. I, for one, had no doubts about her ability to follow through with her threat!
Dinner finished up with no more talk of trip hammers, only praise for the fine food and the women. Afterwards, Mistress Jane, Molly, and an unmarried sister, bundled all the smaller children off to bed, some in the loft and some in the inner room. Molly said goodnight to everyone and with a quick kiss to her husband, took Sarah and Marin to the small-attached cot, which had been added when Chohee married her. Tev was one of the ones sent to bed but Mik was allowed to stay up. Mik, I learned, was already apprenticed to his father and learning the business of smithing. Tev, it was expected, would apprentice to some other craftsman as he showed little aptitude for smithing.
By this time, darkness covered the castle and poor Bitte was swaying in his seat from exhaustion. After dropping me at the smithy, he had run back after the cart to make certain my baggage was delivered to my room. Bitte roused when I touched his arm and stumbled after me; at the castle stairs, I looped his arm around my waist and my arm under his and nearly carried him up them. For a change, I undressed him and rolled him in a warm blanket, left on the pallet by Melly, and then undressed and crawled into bed. I dropped into an exhausted sleep and slept straight through until morning.
The sound of rattling metal woke me in the morning. I shot up in bed expecting to see Tamas, instead I half scared Bitte, who was bringing in the morning wash water. I apologized and he grinned in amusement. My morning seemed even more interminable than the preceding trip had been. Everywhere I went, people wanted to hear the minutest details of the last month. Mother's pleasure in the cloth I brought back from Fordingham was evident in the lavish way she praised the material's quality and her demands to me to describe every inch of the dyer's street. Melly had been equally as pleased when I gave her a roll of dark honey colored cloth to make a new kirtle. The honey would look good with her brown hair and eyes. I finally kissed Mother and pled exhaustion as the clock in the village was striking twelve. Gathering up my rucksack, Bitte and I scurried out before someone else could corner me. Bitte carried a sack of other gifts on his back. Father had been surprisingly generous in paying me for the contract; Bitte and I had spent it on buying for the people at home.
We stopped in the kitchen where I presented Cook with a new brass kettle etched with a design of vines and flowers. I firmly brushed aside her protests that it was too fine for her; I had many, many years of thanks to her, and received, in return, hugs and tears of gratitude. From there to the garrison smithy, I hadn't known while we were in Fordingham that I would be indebted to the Smith's family, but a wise man knows to pick up a few extras when shopping (actually it was Bitte who suggested it as I really was a babe in arms when it came to buying things for other people). Mistress Jane and Molly were surprised and pleased with the bolts of red cloth I gave them. They oohed and ahhed and chattered like birds as they examined the lengths.
"Something fine to wear to Church perhaps," I said shyly. "And perhaps enough for new kirtles for Marin and Sarah. Oh, and the other girl, I never caught her name, I`m sorry."
"Thah'd be me Dorrie, hai, tha red would make her a lovely liripipe hood," her mother said thoughtfully.
Mistress Jane gave me a hug that knocked the wind out of me and left me tottering drunkenly. Behind me, I heard Bitte snicker. I'd bought him a pair of knives, one weighted for throwing and the other for everyday use. I had another knife for Chohee, who took it with an expression of surprise. He examined it and praised me on my eye for quality. I flushed and stammered out that Bitte had helped me decide. But I was pleased nevertheless.
The road into town felt like an old friend and my feet fairly flew down it. Anxiety and longing mingled together making it feel as if this was the real homecoming. Reaching the end of the Street of the Carpenters, I stopped in confusion. In front of me was a crowd, people in the back craning to see over the ones in the front. As I approached and started to work my way through the crowd, I could hear voices shouting. A fireball shot out from the forge and up into the air. The crowd cheered and clapped.
"Tlacha appears a wee upset," Bitte murmured drolly.
I smothered a laugh, though frankly, no one would have heard it anyway over the noise of the crowd. Bitte and I pushed our way through and around to the stable. I ducked in the open door pulling Bitte along with me. From the courtyard, the voices in the forge were louder but no more clearer; I decided it was Kinder yelling in several different languages. Bitte winced and stared round eyed at the forge. Contemplating his face, I determined I did not want to know what he'd said.
I decided I'd wait until both parties calmed down before getting involved as I had become somewhat attached to living in the last nineteen years. Gesturing to Bitte to hand me his sack, I let him go observe the fight. The courtyard was warm from the afternoon sun and I felt relieved to be back. The small house looked unchanged and I suspected it would receive another layer of wattle and daub in the late summer as the upper edges were starting to chip and flake off. The door to the kitchen stood open as usual and I leaned in rapping my knuckles on the door.
Nayne was bent over the fireplace as usual, at her side Kinna sat perched on a stool peering into the fire. She turned from stirring a pot of, by the smell, lentil soup, her face breaking into a smile. Her eyes looked tired and I sympathized with her for having to deal with an irritable adolescent firedrake. Kinna launched himself off the stool, nearly knocking it into the fire in the process. Nayne caught it automatically and righted it even as she stepped toward me.
I caught the small boy and swung him up onto my hip. He wrapped his arms around my neck and buried his face in my shoulder. Nayne wiped her hands on her apron and enfolded me in a welcoming hug. I swallowed trying not to cry, I'd never been welcomed anywhere so warmly and I was about to become quite emotional.
"Nicco," Nayne said softly. "I'm so glad you're home."
"So I hear," I answered.
"Hai, hai, I'm at my wit's end with those two, at each other's throat until I just want to smack their stubborn heads together."
"Sounds like a plan to me," I said looking down at her. She snickered and Kinna giggled.
"Poor firedrake," I said. "Maybe he'll calm down now."
"I certainly hope so," Nayne said returning to the fire "Can't imagine why Kinder hasn't packed up and left, though." She sighed. "Gisela!" She yelled toward the pantry.
The girl's head popped out and Nayne directed her to fetch me a stool and a cup of ale. The girl sighed and frowned at me, before disappearing into the inner room.
"I'm still a villain, I see," I said with a smile. Kinna giggled again.
"Hai, well at least she steers well clear of him these days. Ah thank you, Gisela."
Nayne took the stool from Gisela and placed it near the fire by the stool vacated by Kinna. She gestured to me to sit down. Plopping Kinna unceremoniously on his stool, I perched on mine feeling uncommonly content and warm inside. The smell of the food made my stomach grumble and Kinna giggled behind his hands. I poked him in the ribs and he squirmed dangerously close to the fire, which earned us both an exasperated sigh from Nayne. Kinna and I hurriedly tucked our hands under our bottoms and tried to look thoroughly chastised. Nayne burst out laughing.
Opening Bitte's sack, I drew out a bolt of blue cloth, which I had purchased especially for Nayne and held it out to her. She stared at it then at me; one hand crept out shyly towards the material, the other one pressed to her mouth.
"Oh, Nicco," she said her voice shaking
"You need something pretty," I said softly. "I think I understand living in the shadow of those two peacocks."
Nayne laughed and held the cloth up to her bodice. I grinned and remembered Bitte and me pointing to it and saying `Nayne!' at the same time; we'd both known instantly that it was perfect for her. Nayne hugged me and I felt tears on my neck.
"Kinder brought me new cloth for chemises as well," she sniffed. "All new clothes!"
"I know absolutely nothing about women's fashions," I said. "But the dressmaker assured me there would be enough for a houppelande, shoes and a liripipe hood."
"Thank you, Nicco, you're a wonderful man," Nayne said softly.
I blushed and stammered out a contradiction. She tapped me on the nose and scowled mockingly. I jumped startled and she hugged me again before carrying the cloth to the inner room. I sat there thunderstruck; I hadn't thought how pleased the recipients would be when I had bought all that cloth. I only knew that Mother liked color, Melly needed a new kirtle and Nayne deserved to compete with her peacock of a son. Mistress Jane and Molly, it had seemed only natural to give them some fine cloth as thanks for squeezing us in when they were already feeding so many people. I suspected that with all those kids about the smithy, it had been many years since Mistress Jane had had a new dress. Perhaps there'd be enough material to make a fine houppelande; I breathed a silent prayer of hope for her.
"Oh," I said looking up at Gisela, who was holding a mug, her eyes following Nayne covetously. "I brought you something too."
Her eyes focused on me sharply and her mouth dropped open in surprise. I moved things around in the sack and finally found the small, flat package at the bottom. I had specifically begged the vendor to wrap them well to prevent breakage. He had grinned and looped more cloth around them. I'm sure he thought I was bringing them home for my wife or betrothed. Awkwardly I pulled the small package out, its thinness making it hard for me to grasp, the sharp tines poking through the material into my palm. I handed the small package to the girl and took the mug from her.
"I didn't know what you'd like," I said apologetically.
Gisela unwrapped the package slowly and sucked in a breath of surprise. In her hand were two combs, one made of a silver alloy and the other carved bone. A maiden with long flowing hair decorated the bone one and a pattern of ivy twisted across the silver. Gisela's lower lip quivered and she breathed out a quiet thanks. I nodded, pleased that I'd picked so well. I had been certain that she was too old for dolls and wasn't sure, if cloth would be appropriate, given her age and station in life, and so finally decided on the combs. Gisela looked up at Nayne who shooed her off. The girl took off up the stairs, clutching the combs to her chest.
"Good choice, Nicco," Nayne said softly. "The poor child came here with nothing but the ragged kirtle on her back."
"Oh, maybe I should have given her some cloth?"
Nayne chuckled, "At her age, doing her hair up pretty is just as good as cloth of gold. Thank you."
I blushed and smiled. It felt good to hear all those thanks. I'd always been the receiver of other people's generosity; to be on the other side was a new experience and a heady experience too. I was starting to feel a little light headed and I hadn't even seen Tamas yet. I pulled one more item out of the bag. A slender delicately carved wooden horse; the artist had picked a piece that was bay colored with a darker patch, which he'd cleverly carved to be the mane. I handed it to Kinna who looked stunned. He let out a squeal of pleasure and launched himself off his stool into my arms, knocking us both over onto the floor. The resulting bang and exclamation from Nayne brought Gisela thundering down the stairs.
Kinna and I sorted out arms and legs and I sat up the boy straddling my lap. Fortunately, the horse hadn't been damaged in the fall, I had feared for the legs or ears. Kinna cradled it to him his eyes shining.
"Write on it," he said pushing the horse against my chest.
"Write?" I asked confused.
"Hai, write Kinna's `orse." The boy nodded determined.
"Mm, Kinna's `orse or Kinna's horse?" I asked with a grin.
"Kinna's arse," Gisela snickered. Kinna turned and glared at her; she spun on her heel and flounced back up the stairs.
Nayne helped us both up and checked for injuries. She mildly lectured Kinna and then smiled and ruffled his hair, shooing him out of the kitchen. I followed him to the door and leaned out, it was quiet at the forge. Nayne joined me at the door listening.
"Maybe they killed each other?" I said. She snickered and grinned.
"In that case, I know nothing about it," she said decisively and went back into the kitchen.
I chuckled and leaned against the door, the afternoon sun warmed my face and I felt drowsy. I'd never understood before how good it felt to return to a place you were fond of because I'd really never had a place to return to before now. Closing my eyes, I listened to the sounds of voices, Nayne, Gisela, and Kinna, and the clang of metal from the forge, behind me a bird called to its mate. My head nodded, chin resting against my chest and I listened to a sound I adored above all else, my lover's heartbeat. The pounding filled my ears beating in rhythm with the clanging of hammer on metal.
"Och laddie, does he know ye're back?" Kinder's voice startled me out of my contemplation and brought my head up so fast it hit the doorframe. My eyes crossed and I groaned in pain. Slowly I slid down the doorframe into a crouch clutching the back of my head.
"Well I reckon, he does now," Kinder said drolly. "One, two, three, four..."
"Nicco!" Tamas' voiced thundered across the small courtyard.
"Whisht, the laddie is slow," Kinder murmured.
He may have been slow for a dragon but I had barely time to register the cry before I was smothered in a hug. I gasped for breath and pounded him on his back. Behind me, I heard Kinder warn his son not to smash me, and then his lips were on mine; his hands gripping my hips so tightly I was sure I'd have bruises. His lips, meanwhile, were lighting a fire of their own in me; heat flowed down my front to lodge in my groin and I groaned in pleasure/pain.
"Och, we should haff bairns by springtime," Kinder said.
"Oh hush, you fool," Nayne said. Kinder let out a squeak, perhaps from his ear being pulled by his no-nonsense wife.
"Ah'm guessin' thah'll be it for tha forge today," Teru said as he stepped around us and into the kitchen. Noah laughed, his voice cracking into a giggle.
My feet dangled in the air and I clung to his neck, for the first time in my life I knew I wouldn't fall. Tamas walked around the corner of the house and backed me up to the wall without breaking the kiss or his grip around my waist. I heard twin voices panting and moans of pleasure in a deep baritone and a husky tenor. It felt like he'd grown an extra three hands while I'd been away and my own hands, warmed from contact with him, couldn't seem to feel enough of him. My legs, perhaps still tired, lost all ability to hold me up and I sagged against the wall. Tamas' own legs appeared to cease to work as well and we both slid down the wall into a pile of arms and legs and bodies.
"Oh heaven, I missed you," Tamas panted against my lips. "Oh Nicco, I missed you so much. I could barely think or work or anything."
I would have answered, I wanted to respond but Tamas was devouring my mouth again. I groaned and arched my body against his, I hadn't known what true loneliness was until I had something I wanted, very badly, by my side. Embarrassingly, my orgasm came far too soon and with a low keen, my body, quaking from passion, I came. Somewhere near my ear, I heard another cry. A soft kiss brushed my lips; opening my eyes, I saw Tamas propped on one arm, other wrapped around me. His arm tightened possessively and he smiled. I visually drank in his face, the blue eyes, freckles, a stray curl of red hair hanging in his face; it had been far too long since I'd seen him.
"I do believe, you missed me," I said, poking his nose. He grinned and for a few moments, neither of us could talk.
"So now what? Do I have to climb the ivy again?" I asked.
Tamas laughed and sat up. He stretched and then tucked the stray hair up into the coiled braid on his head. He stood up and held his hand out to me. I took his hand and he pulled me up and into his arms.
"I want to eat with you in privacy," he said softly in my ear.
I flushed and nodded. I, too, wanted to spend time with him just the two of us. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again. The world I knew slipped away and I saw blue sky stretching out to the horizon. Towering hills of sun-baked mud ran under me, villages of stone houses, people plowing dry, arid fields. Then I was back in my body staring wide-eyed at the red head in front of me.
"Da calls it dragon memory, every dragon that's ever lived memory is in there," Tamas said softly. "Back to the first one."
I made a small noise of surprise and he grinned. Taking my hand, he led me back around the house and in through the kitchen door. Everyone was busily eating, except Gisela who was nowhere to be seen. A bit too busily, I thought caustically, and blushed remembering that wattle and daub walls were extremely thin compared to castle stone. Tamas snapped his fingers and Kinna leaped up spoon still in his hand, hurriedly chewing his mouthful of beans.
"Don't choke," Tamas said teasingly. Kinna flushed and swallowed. "Lunch for two in my room and fresh water and a jug of ale. Can you manage the stairs with that?" Kinna puffed out his chest and nodded, eyes shining.
"I'll help," Bitte said. "I'll carry the breakables." He grinned mischievously.
"Good idea," I said approvingly.
Before retiring to the upstairs, I distributed the rest of the gifts. Knives for Teru and Noah, Teru pulled his from the sheath and studied it, turning it over and holding it up to the light. Tamas stretched out a long arm and plucked it out of his grasp. He hefted it with a look of approval.
"You've a good eye, Nicco, it's extremely well made," he handed it back to Teru.
"Bitte helped pick them out too," I said. Tamas nodded approvingly at the boy.
For Grandfather, I'd thought hard about what to get him and finally decided on a pair of fur lined leather gloves. I knew how badly my hands ached in the winter, so I was certain they would be good for Grandfather. He looked surprised and then pleased and immediately put them on, sighing in pleasure at the soft fur. I was pleased that I'd bought a pair in that fit him, I was certain his hands were the size of a young laborer working on the dyer's street. He willingly consented to accompany me, for the liberal tip of two silver pennies, and try on gloves until we found a fit.
I had dithered, fussed, and wandered from shop to shop trying to decide on what for Kinder and Tamas. Finally, fate took a hand in it and delivered to me a bottle of a new wine imported from the south part of the Continent and rather expensive. Lehi had bought it for me to use in seducing the tavern girls. But having no interest in seducing anyone, I tucked it into my luggage thinking it would be good for Kinder. Then the next day, as I stood in the street, sighing and chiding myself for a fool, I happened to glance at a boot maker stall, where I saw some beautiful deep blue and emerald green leather. I bought enough of each color to make a pair of boots, apologizing profusely to the boot maker for not having measurements for him to make the boots.
"Bless my soul, young sir, yeh needn't worry so much," he'd said with a smile.
"Ye really are an innocent, aren't ye?" Kinder said with a laugh after I finished. "Yon boot maker likely overcharged ye for the leather, seeing ye're fine clothes and that air of innocence ye wear like a habit."
"Kinder, don't tease the boy," Nayne said sternly.
Kinder ducked his head but his eyes gleamed thoughtfully and Nayne sighed then told him no in a firm voice. I wasn't sure what she was telling him not to do but apparently, she could hear what he was thinking. Kinder solemnly thanked me for the wine and offered to share it with me and I wondered if he was laughing at me or trying to seduce me. My musing came to an abrupt halt as Tamas pulled me half off my feet towards the stairs.
Somehow, I managed to get my feet under me and followed Tamas up the stairs. I stopped on the threshold feeling suddenly shy to be in his room. Tamas turned and looked at me, quirking an eyebrow in silent inquiry. I shrugged and stepped into the room only moments ahead of a pair of boys carrying a pail of water, a jug of ale and a pair of mugs. They lined up and with a bow presented their offering to Tamas; I smothered a laugh in my hands and winked at Bitte.
"Good job, lads," Tamas said with a grin. "Now hop to the food before I'm forced to eat boys!"
Tamas' voice ended on a roar and he jumped forward arms out. Kinna squealed and ran; Bitte grinned and took off after Kinna. I laughed in amusement at the game. He snaked out an arm and drew me into an embrace, his head lying on my shoulder. I rubbed his back before yanking the sticks out of his hair, smiling in pleasure as it slid over his shoulder to dangle like a fiery rope.
"You'd make a good father," I said.
"Hmm," he murmured into my neck. "I missed yeh; I was beginning to think yeh were ne'er coming back."
"Foolish boy," I said tugging his braid lightly. "I'll always return, you promised to spoil me. I'm looking forward to it."
He snickered, and then went tense in my arms. I tried to step back half a step to look at him, but his arms tightened not allowing me to move. I felt panic rising in the back of my throat, but one look at his face dispelled it. A painful mixture of determination and sadness sparked in his eyes and the rigid set of his mouth. Not knowing what to do, I laid my hand as best I could along his cheek, his eyes closed and he leaned against it.
"I know, Nicco, I hurt yeh more than yeh want to me to know. I hear yer heartbeat after all." His eyes opened, looking deep into mine, he took a deep breath to regain control of his emotions. "You make me too excited and I forget to keep a rein on the fire, but I won't do it again. I won't ere put you in a position where my control will break and you'll be injured. Never again."
"Mmm," I said softly. "So you're saying no sex until?"
"When I can fully control the fire, I'll be able to change. At that time I will take you away someplace safe, where you'll be all mine."
"Like the princess in the tower?"
Tamas chuckled, "I sound like a childish brat, don't I?"
"Well, I really don't mind, but I'd be terribly lonely without all my new friends. I have finally found out what having companions are all about and I really don't want to give it up."
Tamas covered my hand with his own large one; I felt his smile against my palm. Suddenly I wanted to be taken away; I wanted just to spend my time with him. Our tender moment, however, came to an abrupt end with a bump and scuffle outside the door. Tamas crossed the room silently and pulled the door open spilling two small boys and one very large one into the room.
"Da!" He said exasperated. "I expect peeping from the boys. But yeh!"
"Och, laddy, yer mother sent me up to carry the bowls," Kinder protested, looking wounded.
"And thah's why they're o'er there?" Tamas asked pointing to a spot behind Kinder.
Kinder grinned that wicked, contagious grin and slowly even his irate son's mouth was trying to smile. I sent my silent sympathies downstairs to Nayne for putting up with the two of them. Kinder's face turned sober and he reached up and clasped Tamas' shoulder.
"Ye've grown to be a fine man. I'm verra proud of ye."
Tamas blinked in surprise. The boys sat riveted, eyes glued to the father son tableau in front of them. Tamas clasped his father's hand in a man-to-man grip. Kinder smiled and nodded, letting go of his son's hand he walked over to me. Taking my right hand, he turned it over and ran a thumb across my palm, studying the ink stains and bent fingers.
"Ye surprised me, while I naever expected him to choose some empty headed farm girl for a mate, I naever expected him to find someone so charming, caring and loveable. Ye take good care o' him." His face clouded in sorrow. "The road ahead of ye is long. There may come a day when ye begin to hate the long-lived dragon. I know it, he knows it, my lassie knows it, but until then its up to ye what ye want out o this life."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked a couple times before nodding. I couldn't trust my voice at that moment. Kinder nodded and touched his forehead to the back of my hand. As he let go, I felt Tamas' arms wrap around my waist. The loose curl fell over my face tickling my nose. Kinder stepped backwards and glanced out the door.
"Och, ye better eat `fore it gets cold. Yer mother would skin us both if her good food goes to waste," Kinder grinned again.
Behind him, the two boys leaped to action and before I could blink, they'd brought the food-laden trays into the room. There were two bowls of soup and a covered pot with enough in it for two more bowls, fresh bread, creamy butter and four boiled eggs. Bitte handed me my rucksack with a grin before the two boys scampered out. I heard their feet pounding the whole way down the stairs. Kinder watched them go, his eyes looking old and rather sad, as if remembering something. He nodded to us and left pulling the door shut behind him.
We ate lunch with me sitting on the floor against the bed, which was pushed up under the eaves by the window to catch the evening breezes, and Tamas sitting on the bed cross-legged. He peeled my eggs, cut them into small pieces and fed them to me like a child. At first, I was mildly annoyed but his teasing smile charmed me into a more receptive mood. After eating, Tamas put the dishes outside the door before we cleaned up. Much to my delight, Bitte had foreseen the need for clean braies and hose.
Tamas slid backwards on the bed, taking the jug of ale and his mug with him. He looked outside to the courtyard, smiled and gestured for me to come join him. With a shy smile, I crawled onto the bed and settled between his legs where I could see out. Down below, Bitte and Kinder had set up a target and were teaching Teru and Kinna how to throw a knife accurately. Noah was sitting on a bench watching, his foot on the bench and head on his knee.
I looked back at Tamas and smiled. He ducked his head and kissed my neck. Sighing I leaned back against him, feeling the heat of the fire and the heat of having someone you love close.