Chapter 3 - Make You Mine
As fate would have it, we never managed to get to the river. The tour of the town ended when several fellows cornered Tamas in a pub and coerced him into telling several stories as they plied him with ale and food and shouts of "Remember that time?" and "Tell 'im `bout..." As a result, we spent the rest of the day there and it was approaching dark when we finally got away. Tamas walked with me out through the gates.
"What do you think they thought about me?" I asked, looking down at my hand tightly clasped in his.
"I don't know," he shrugged. "I don't care."
"Hmm," I said.
Long shadows spread out from the city wall and Tamas pulled me into them. Heat flooded through my body as he wrapped his arms around me. His kiss was fierce and possessive, aggressively passionate but not cruel. I clung to his doublet hungry for something that I couldn't quite name. Tamas' hands ran down my back and across my hips and buttocks, heating me up even more.
Eventually, however much we were enjoying ourselves we had to stop to breathe. I leaned the top of my head against Tamas' chest and panted for breath. He blew on the back of my exposed neck, I shivered and he chuckled.
"Yer ticklish on yer nape? Ah'll bear thah in mind."
He lightly brushed my neck with a finger, running up from collar to hairline. I jerked my head up so sharply that the top of my head connected with his jaw. Tamas let out a howl of pain. My head exploded, my knees jellied, and I would have fallen if I hadn't been hanging onto his doublet.
"Tcha, remind me no ta do thah if yeh ain't bein' held down flat at tha time," he said ruefully. I blushed from the innuendo and stammered out an apology, but Tamas waved it away.
"Tis my fault, I did just say you were ticklish there," he grinned and kissed me again.
The walk back to the castle was even longer than the walk into town. The excitement of the morning had worn off in the flurry of activity that afternoon. By the time, I returned to my room, I could hardly walk from exhaustion. I barely managed to strip and crawl into bed.
That day set the pattern for the rest of the week, however without angering Mother each day. She had indeed started a new tapestry, so she had no time for a useless son or even a useful one, for that matter. My brother, Lehi's, wife Meg served as a better attendant, being deft with a needle and a good singer.
I liked Meg; she was pretty and she always spoke kindly to me. I missed Lehi, who being seven years older than me always seemed busy and I usually only saw him at holidays or from a distance. He was tall, broad shouldered and a fighter, everything Father wanted in a son. My next oldest brother, Michael had left two years ago to attend to the King's Court in His Lordship's eldest son's retinue. Michael, I didn't miss, he liked to play pranks on me: putting my things where I couldn't reach or under things I couldn't grasp to move. Lehi had caught him once, when his prank had reduced me to semi-hysterical crying, particularly from his taunts of crybaby and cripple, and thrashed him thoroughly. Michael had worn a black eye and split lip for a week. Mother had given me hell for it but I got to spend that week at Lehi's heels so it had been worth the lecture.
By the third day, the town porter started to hail me as I entered the town. At first, I was startled but by the next day, I waved and called back. A few carpenters would shout or wave, ones in particular who knew Tamas. I started to recognize faces and realized the village wasn't nearly as large as it had seemed at first.
The main street, High Street, snaked through the village from one end to the other. The majority of the town`s shopkeepers were located on it with living quarters above or behind their shops. Tamas pointed out the whitewashed house of the Mayor, the grandest house in the town. We didn't see the Mayor; Tamas just shrugged saying he was probably busy. Smaller streets broke off from High Street, some of them so narrow I could walk down them; arms outstretched and touch the buildings on both sides.
The Street of the Carpenters, by comparison, was wide enough for two wagons to pass each other with a cul-de-sac for turning around at the end. The location made it easy to access the smithy for delivering coal or repairs to wagons. The street always seemed busy, crowded and not only carpenters lived, and worked there; there was a cartwright and a wheelwright. It made sense to me even without Tamas' explanation; all three trades relied on each other for business. Tamas, himself with Teru and Noah`s help, made the metal accoutrements for the wagons and the iron rims for the wheels.
I learned rather rapidly that the bulk of Tamas' work consisted of repair work. Farm implements, household items, pots and pans particularly, and finally wagon wheels, it seemed that hardly a day went by without hammering out at least one wheel rim. Tamas worked his crew hard, whether Grandfather was there or not, and unsurprisingly, pulled extraordinary quality out of them.
He confessed to me that he was certain Teru would make journeyman by the next spring and would become a fine Master in time. Noah he wasn't as certain about, but the lad was still young and maybe he'd calm down once he actually got laid. I coughed and spit out my drink at that and glared at him over the rim of my cup. He just grinned at my discomfort.
"Tomorrow," Tamas said after several days of my coming to the village. "Don't come." I started to argue but he just put his hand over my mouth. "Hush, man, listen to me. Tomorrow is Sunday anyway, if you disappear on your family, they'll wonder what you're doin. Tis no wee stretch of the imagination, to know they won't be pleased with our love."
My eyes widened in shock, he'd said love. I hadn't thought love even in my most private thoughts. Love, so that was what I felt, I hadn't known love to be so exciting, to make one's heart pound so hard. I tried to fit my feelings for Tamas into what I saw in my family and failed miserably.
Instead, I stuck out my tongue and licked his hand. He jumped back in surprise and grinned. I took a deep breath. I couldn't argue with his logic, for all that I couldn't couldn`t wield a sword, I could still be useful to the family as an alliance token. Elderly heiresses tended to be less picky about a husband's physique and his family's spending habits if he was young and attractive. However, that didn't mean I felt pleased with his ban. Tamas chucked me under the chin with his fist pushing my head up. He tipped his head and kissed me.
"One day, I'll pay yeh back fer thah lick," he said his eyes sparkling in mischief. "But fer now, yeh know I speak the truth."
"I know," I said in a tone that sounded petulant even to me. "All right, I'll suffer through it."
Tamas chuckled, "Tis only one day. I'll be up the castle Monday and Tuesday."
"Eh?"
"I've driven every other thought out o' your head? You gave me the message from Chohee." Pure wicked mischief lit up his face and I blushed, I had indeed forgotten.
"Part o' being a journeyman is learning from different Masters; your Master Smith at the garrison, is one o' the best. I come up a few days a month to learn from him."
"Oh! So that's what that was about," I said.
"Hai, you should be able to find an excuse to come to the smithy? In your own neighborhood..."
"I'm sure I can find an excuse," I said with a chuckle.
"Ah good," he said and conversation stopped for a while.
Sunday, never one of my favorite days of the week, seemed to stretch on and on like the ocean I'd once seen as a small child. I attended morning Mass with Mother and even attended Confession. I still felt bad about baiting Mother. The priest, a cheerful man with an eye to the good things in life, sympathized with me and set me a light penance, no doubt, he had heard all my transgressions from Mother already.
For my own part, I spent the day being solicitous and carefully attentive to Mother, as well as running up and down the stairs in a continuous series of errands. By the time evening finally came, I was emotionally and physically exhausted and eager to climb into my bed. Two pairs of freshly darned hose lay folded neatly on my table. I examined them closely, definitely Melly's work, I could barely find the repairs.
Monday morning I arose well before the sun feeling energized and more alive than ever, the prior day's lassitude completely gone. I flew through my morning toilet, even though I knew Tamas wouldn't be here this early, I couldn't make my feet or hands go any slower. Everywhere I went, I heard the serving girls chattering about "the handsome smith" who would be at the garrison smithy today. Apparently, Tamas was as popular with the castle girls as with the village girls.
Even Mother's attendants giggled and whispered about the red head. I became so flustered listening to them that finally Mother asked what was wrong with me. I mumbled a pathetic lie about not feeling well and having a slight fever, for which of course, Mother promptly banished me from her quarters until the fever was gone. As I left, I heard whispers, snickers about my virility, and giggles that I probably wished to be as fine as the smith was.
Outside in the hall, I snorted, that herd of brood mares would never know the smith in the way I knew him. I leaned on the sill of the open window savoring the irony, they who felt I was missing something they had, held the smith's heart in the palm of my hand. For the first time in my life, I felt not envy for the able-bodied people of the castle, had I been born like them, I never would have met Tamas.
Somehow, I managed to get some work done in the quiet of my room. An old text the archivist needed and had been pestering me to finish turned out to be surprisingly interesting and my pen grew wings as I wrote. I saved interesting bits in my head to share with Tamas later. I always committed intriguing things to memory to talk over with the archivist or to weave into my stories for the kitchen staff. However, this time it felt different. Excitement bubbled up in me as I thought about telling them to Tamas.
I finished the text and delivered it to the old archivist by mid-day. The old man's pleasure was quite evident and he thanked me profusely, both of us conveniently ignoring the weeks of nagging that preceded completion. Pausing only a few minutes to discuss the text, I headed at a run for the kitchen.
Mid-day meal in the castle was an extremely casual affair. Most people ate it in their quarters or out on the grounds wherever they happened to be at noon. I slipped easily into the crowd of servants fetching trays for their Masters and Mistresses. Several large cauldrons of thick lentil or bean soup simmered in a row in the largest fireplace. One table was heavily laden with trenchers; I ducked under the arm of a beefy woman I didn't recognize and grabbed one from the back, the kitchen staff always put the least stale ones there. Regular inhabitants of the castle were familiar with the ploy and usually stood aside as foreign servants snatched up the staler ones in the front.
Remembering Nayne's lentil soup, I decided to have bean today to avoid having to make comparisons. As with the trenchers, the last two pots had more chunks of meat and more beans in them, again something the regulars knew. Balancing my trencher on a small piece of wood with a leather strap attached to the underside, I slipped through the crowd without spilling a drop. Lehi had designed and made the board for me after watching me fumble with meals as a child. I guarded the board carefully because it made meals so much easier for me. I ducked into the larder and slipped a small bottle of ale into my doublet.
The back way down to the smithy had few people moving around. However, coming around the corner of the main wing, I saw that the front grounds were a very different story. People were crowded up to the smithy front and down the side. I'd never seen such a crowd there and it was somewhat daunting to know they were there to see the red haired dragon smith. Deftly I worked my way through the crowd, years of practice getting in and out of the kitchen accident free serving me well and I was able to work my way to the gate without spilling any of my soup. By now, the trencher had soaked up most of the liquid; I chose a shady spot just inside the gate; up against the palisade wall and settled down to eat and watch the activity at the smith.
I wondered distractedly how Tamas could learn anything with so many people crowded around. However, based on the cheers, it appeared that something at least was going on. Tucking the last bit of trencher in my mouth, I wondered what I should do. Certainly, I could go inside the smithy, but that would start tongues flapping all over the castle and sooner or later Mother or Father would hear about it. Tamas wasn't the only one certain that my parents would disapprove of the liaison.
A body flopped down in front of me and I jumped in surprise. Dirt streaked Kinna's small face and his eyes looked tired. I rubbed a grimy spot on his chin with my thumb.
"Did you get to eat, mousie?" I asked
He nodded, his head drooping. I wiped my board clean on the grass and tucked it into my doublet. I griped his small shoulder and pulled him towards me. Kinna flailed half-heartedly but laid his head on my lap with minimal resistance. Soon his eyes shut and the small body relaxed. I smiled down at him and smoothed the dark hair away from his face. His sleeping face gave hint to the person who would come later in life, fine cheekbones and small mouth; he looked terribly delicate to be working in the smithy.
I smiled remembering the look of adoration on his face every time he'd get near Tamas, who seemed equally as fond of the small boy. Thinking about it, I decided Tamas must love the child to take on his care at such a young age, especially in an environment as potentially dangerous as a smithy.
I studied the people crowded around the smithy. I had expected to see serving girls and perhaps a well-born girl or two, as well as men, much to my surprise the crowd had as many well-born women as fighting men in it. Obviously, the sight of the half-naked red head was quite the draw; I snickered wondering if someone had thought to sell tickets.
Leaning back against the palisade wall, I closed my eyes and like the small boy in my lap, I drifted off to sleep. I don't know how long I napped before I felt a shadow cross my face and a weight moved from my leg. I opened my eyes to see Noah squatting in front of me. Kinna had sat up and was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"'E says, yeh can come in now," Noah jerked his head toward the smithy. "Tha crowd i' moved off now, tha show being done and all."
"Show?" I asked feeling like I'd just wandered into the conversation.
"Hai, e shows off wi' tha fire for them. Gets oohs and ahhs and swoons," Noah grinned. "Then e puts on `is shirt and starts to work. The ladies lose interest then an tha gents dun want ta see someone stronger than them."
He chuckled, "Tisn't anyone theh but us now," he paused. "Ye no want word getting to yer da about t'other day, eh?"
I blushed and Noah grinned. "Yeh have ta remind im thah yeh can't keep at is pace or `e'll wear yeh right to a ghost."
I nodded and started to get up but my legs had fallen asleep. I let out a cry of pain and fear and stumbled as my leg folded under me dropping to the ground in pain. Noah reached out for my shoulder.
"Nicco!" Tamas' shout reached me only moment before he did. I hadn't ever seen anyone move that fast before, it must be a dragon trait, I thought.
"Nicco! Noah, what did you do ta him?" Tamas grabbed the younger boy's shoulder roughly. Noah looked scared but he didn't back down.
"Ah dint do nuthin! E just fell, e did," Noah protested.
"Tamas!" My voice came out extra sharp from fear. I hadn't seen this side of him before. "My leg is asleep; I'll be okay in a minute."
The world tilted sideways and with a scream of pure terror, I scrabbled to grasp onto something solid as Tamas swung me up over his shoulder. The board in my doublet slammed into my chest and nearly knocked the wind out of me. Terrified and deeply embarrassed I let out a cry of outrage and pummeled his back with my fists. His long legs covered the distance to the smithy rapidly.
"Will yeh no hold still?" He asked. "I'm about to drop yeh."
"Then put me down, you big lout!" I shouted pounding his back again.
Tamas stopped walking. He made a jerky shrug and I slid backwards down his front. Terrified anew, I grabbed at his collar and got a double handful of flame colored hair. Tamas let out a howl of pain and let go of me.
My foot twisted as it hit the ground; I was still falling. A strong pair of arms caught me and steadied me. They weren't Tamas' arms as his were engaged in getting my fingers out of his hair.
"Yeh great divil, have yeh no concern for owt but yerself?" Teru swore. "Yeh scairt im alf to death!"
"He didn't have to pull my hair!"
"You scared me!" I shouted back. "Damn you, I'm terrified of falling! I can't catch myself, you know. Maybe you could ONCE think of something other than your damned forge! Do you have ANY idea what a joke I am to those people?" I jerked my head up toward the castle. "I spend my days trying not to do anything to fuel their derision. Heaven help me if any of them had seen that! I don't need your help to become the butt of their jokes!"
Tamas opened his mouth to shout back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Master Smith approaching frowning. I sketched a quick bow, spun on my heel, and left the forge.
"Well, that no worked the way you expected," I heard Teru say behind me.
"Nicco!"
At the moment, I was in no mood to listen to Tamas or even to look at him. Aside from being humiliated, such I hadn't suffered since Michael left; I had been frankly scared out of my wits. On top of that, I was certain, I would have several bruises across my ribs where the board had cut into me.
And if all that wasn't enough, I was bawling and couldn't stop. Frustration, fury and hurt cycled through me one after the other. Distantly I heard people call out to me, but I was in no mood to stop and give explanations. I scrubbed my eyes and started running, I went where I always did when Michael was bullying me. And it was there that Tamas found me sometime later.
I must have fallen asleep because when I first heard his voice it sounded very far away. Slowly I struggled back up to the surface of my consciousness.
"Nicco's in here?"
"Hai, Journeyman smith, e'd allus come ere when Master Michael would tease `im," Cook said.
"Under the lentil bin?" Tamas' surprised voice boomed in the small storeroom.
"Nicco is but a wee thing for all that es long, though Ah'd have no thought `e still could fit," Cook sounded amused.
I heard a heavy cloak drop to the floor and then a pair of boots appeared in my line of sight, followed be a pair of hands, one of which sported a long puckered scar. A moment later flame colored hair spilled into the gap under the bin and then one blue eye.
"Nicco!"
"Go way," I said.
"No." Tamas bit the word off.
"I did it agin. I embarrassed yeh. I'm sorry." Tamas sat up and shifted around to lean against the bin. He paused listening for my reaction. "I joost got so scairt when yeh fell, my feet moved and I started yellin. I worry bout yeh all tha time I can't be wi' yeh. I only wanted ta git yeh inside where I could see yeh wi' ou' pryin' eyes so badly, I din't think and so I di' somethin' bad ta yeh." He took a deep breath.
"I keep apologizin' don' I? I didn't know, Chohee told me about the taunts and the whispers and rumors. I'm sorry, Nicco," he gulped down a sob.
"I love you, Nicco, more than I've loved anyone ever! To me you are perfect. I get sooooo, I don't know... emotional when you're around and worse when you're not with me. I worry constantly. I don't understand what's going on in my head anymore," his voice cracked.
"Move," I said pushing on the bin.
"I'm not leaving!"
"No," I sighed. "You have to move so I can get out from behind here. I really don`t fit here anymore."
"Oh!"
There was a scrabbling noise and the end of the bin moved away. Tamas appeared over me, unbound hair spilling over his shoulder like a river of fire. He held out his hand hesitantly and I took it. Hanging onto his hand and the edge of the lentil bin, I pulled myself to my feet. Tamas hesitated for a moment, then scooped me into a hug that made me grateful I'd taken the board and jar out of my doublet. Tamas covered my face with kisses and tears; in between kisses, he kept repeating, "I'm sorry" and promised never to embarrass me again.
In the past week, whenever he'd hold me so close and kiss me, my knees would cease to work and this time was no exception. Tamas himself seemed to have trouble standing as well; slowly he slid down the wall to the floor holding me in his lap.
I reached up to touch a bright red mark under Tamas' left eye. He winced and grinned ruefully.
"Teru hit me."
"Oh dear, that can't be proper for an apprentice to hit his Master's journeyman."
Tamas shrugged and scowled. Whatever had happened was between the two of them, so I didn't pursue it any further. I wrapped my arm around his neck and laid my head against his shoulder. Heat flowed down my side making me drowsy.
"Nicco, talk to me, tell me what I need to do to make you happy. I've never loved a man, much less someone older than me before, I don't know what to do. Tell me what hurts you. Please just talk to me."
Slowly at first, then faster the words poured out of me: the jokes, the whispers, the childhood taunts. I told him about Michael's mischief and the whispers of the serving girls. His heartbeat in my ear was loud and strangely comforting, speeding up and slowing down in response to my words.
"And falling..." I took a deep breath. "I'm terrified of falling; I have nightmares about falling out windows, off horses, cliffs oh about everything. And all of them end with me splatting because I couldn't grab whatever thing was sticking out to stop myself."
I shuddered and Tamas' arms tightened around me. One large hand slid up my back to cradle my head against his shoulder. Tamas kissed the top of my head. He started talking so quietly I almost couldn't hear him.
"Nicco, I promise, I swear on my dragon soul, I will never let you fall. I will always be there to catch you. Any time you fall, I will catch you. I won't ever let you splat. I promise."
I twisted around until I was straddling his lap, my heart beating so hard I thought it would explode. Tamas' eyes were bluer than ever and tear streaks stained his cheeks. I grasped his head and stretched up to flick my tongue lightly over the red mark on his cheek. Tamas sucked in his breath and pulled my head into a breathtaking kiss.
Before I knew what had happened I was on my back on the floor staring up into a fire I half feared and half hoped would burn me. A flood of unbraided flame spilled down and pooled around my head. Wondering if it would burn me, I reached out to grasp a handful and pulled it to me. Silken flame coiled around my fingers; I brushed the ends across my lips, a soft whisper of movement that lit a fire in my groin.
"Nicco," Tamas groaned. "Are you trying to seduce me?"
I dropped his hair in surprise. I felt my face go hot as I stammered out a reply.
"N-n-n-o, I_I just wondered if it would burn me if I touched it... it looks like fire," if possible my face got hotter. "I've never seen it unbound before...it`s curly... the braid pulls it straight..."
Tamas' head dropped to my shoulder and his body started to shake. For a moment, I was afraid, until I realized he was laughing. His body shook and a gasp of laughter escaped his lips. He wrapped his arms around me and rolled over. I squeaked in surprise and found myself astride his hips.
"Nicco, you are the finest thing, by far, to ever come into my life. I thought the fire was all I needed `til I met you."
Tamas began to unbutton my doublet; his fingers were surprising nimble and he made short work of it. Gently pushing the doublet off my shoulders, he smiled and ran a finger down the front of my shirt. I shivered and gripped his wrists. He repeated the gesture, this time stopping half way down, a puzzled look on his face.
He grabbed a handful of shirt and pulled it up roughly. I jerked backwards only to be stopped by his legs. One hand held my shirt up as the other probed my ribs. I flushed and wondered if what he'd think of my bare chest. It was certainly not as muscular as his and had only a light sprinkle of fine blond hair. Despite my surprise at his brusqueness, I moaned softly at his touch.
"Yer bruised." He said fiercely.
"Mmm yeah, some overgrown boy threw me over his shoulder earlier today while I had a board in my doublet."
Tamas turned bright red and muttered another apology. I smiled slightly, perversely enjoying his embarrassment after all that I had suffered that day. I grasped his hand and squeezed it. He tucked my shirt into my fingers.
"Hold it up," he said softly.
Tamas grasped my waist and pulled me up his body. He raised his torso off the floor and I felt his lips against the sore spot. I shivered, feeling an ache start in my groin again. His tongue slid across my ribs. I moaned and clutched my shirt tighter. His lips rubbed my navel and I felt my knees jellying again.
Tamas sat up; I slid down his torso into his lap. His hands ran up my back and cradled my head. His kiss was passionate and fiery, an apology of its own, however it also felt extraordinarily possessive. My shirt slipped out of my grasp and I gripped his doublet.
"I wanted to wait to do this but," Tamas kissed me again. "I'm going to make you mine."
"Tamas!" I stammered out his name. "Here? Now? I mean..."
He shook his head, "Not the human way, I won't dirty that on a storehouse floor like a common servant." He grimaced.
"This is how dragons choose their mate."
He leaned back resting on his forearms and closed his eyes; fire flickered under his skin, racing down his face and neck. I felt channels of heat under my thighs and buttocks. Fire licked down the cascade of his hair and across the floor. Up the walls and across the ceiling, fire encircled us until we were in the center of a giant flaming cage. Tamas opened his eyes, fire burned deep in them: an ancient fire that burned from before human history. I felt myself falling, falling deep into the fire.
I wanted to scream and remind him of his promise when suddenly a long serpentine body coiled around me. Crimson faded to red-gold on its underside, I stretched out my hands; skin soft as the finest leather met my touch. I sucked in my breath in surprise. The dragon twisted its neck around until we were eye to eye. Fiery blue eyes stared into mine. I gasped and jerked my hands back, pressing them to my mouth. Fire flared around the dragon and I bit my knuckles to keep from screaming.
"Touch me," I heard Tamas' voice rumble through my head.
Crimson mustaches waved backwards as if blown by a wind. Long fangs curved out of fire gold lips, guarding jaws that most certainly could snap my hand off like a dry twig. Slowly I stretched out my hand to the long muzzle in front of me. Soft skin brushed my fingers. Hesitantly I stroked the soft muzzle.
"Ahhhh!" Tamas' voice rumbled. "I take you as my mate, will you accept?"
"Tamas?" I asked hesitantly. "OH! I mean, yes of course, I accept."
The darkness beyond the fire surrounding the dragon cracked and I was flooded with images of sky and fields, mountains and rivers, ancient cities flowed under me and people long dead ran from me. Wind roared in my ears, and I clapped my hands to my ears and closed my eyes. Something as delicate as a spider web brushed my cheek and I opened my eyes. The dragon was almost nose-to-nose with me, its mustaches brushing my face.
"You are my mate now, no other dragon will touch you; I will allow no other human to touch you either." Tamas' voice rumbled as the blue flame in the dragon's eyes flared up and surrounded me. I wrapped my arms around my head and screamed.
The dragon's body tightened around me and I was back in Tamas' lap held tight in his arms. My body was shaking almost uncontrollable and his hands cradled my head and body. The spasm passed and I relaxed against his chest completely spent.
"I should have warned you what was going to happen. Mum says I never think far enough ahead," he said ruefully.
"Did I just see you as a dragon?"
"Hai, that's a firedrake and that, was me. When I have control of the fire, I'll change."
"Beautiful," I murmured against his chest.
"Not as beautiful as you," Tamas murmured barely audible.
"No," I mumbled. "You're beautiful, I'm just a..."
Tamas' fingers pressed against my lips cutting me off with a soft "Shh" and I was too tired to argue. Leaning my head against his chest, I listened to his heartbeat. The beat sounded like a drum in my head; however, the sound was strangely soothing.
"Hear that?" Tamas asked. He brushed my hair back from my face and cupped his hand over my ear. The beat rose in volume until it was all I could hear. He took his hand away and the sound receded.
"You can hear that, my heartbeat, now whenever you need it. Just cover your ears and listen."
"And," he continued, "I can hear yours wherever I am, no matter how far away I am, I'll hear it. I will come anytime it sounds wrong."
"Does Nayne hear your father's?" I asked wondering if that explained her occasional vacant stares.
"Hai," Tamas answered softly.
"Mmm," I murmured.
A sharp rap on the door cut off anything else either of us had to say. I jerked in surprise and Tamas whispered soothingly.
""Nicco," Cook's voice momentarily drowned out the sound of Tamas' heartbeat. "If yeh dun want ta be stuck theh `til after clean-up, yeh'd better get movin."
Tamas grunted and uncoiled himself from around me. I gripped his doublet as he stood up; he smiled and peeled my fingers loose with a quiet promise to be back. His long stride crossed the storeroom in three steps. Scooping up his cloak, he settled it on his shoulders and pulled up the hood, hiding his hair and face in its depths. Carefully blocking the door, he opened it a crack.
"Ah Journeyman smith, soon `twill be servants swarming all over the place for dinner. Nicco dun need any more trouble today."
"Yes ma'am," Tamas said sounding thoroughly chastised. "Is my laddy, Kinna, still flittin `bout flirtin' wi' the girls?"
"Oh yes, e'll be too full to walk ome soon," Cook said with a laugh. Tamas chuckled and agreed that that was his boy. "Ah'll send `im in."
Tamas closed the door and turned around. I studied him curiously; there was a glow about him reminiscent of the shimmering dragon I had seen earlier. He reached up and coiled his hair on top his head. He skewered the coil with a pair of hair sticks, which he pulled from his sleeve. So casual and yet so incredibly compelling, this boy had no idea just how gorgeous he was or his effect on others.
Smoothing his sleeve, he crossed the room and squatted down in front of me. He touched my cheek with his fingers. I smiled and resisted the urge to pull out the hair sticks.
"Can you stand?" He asked. "I'd rather not carry you, seein as that will attract nowt but attention." he paused. "And that's what caused this mess in the first place."
"Oh yes, of course," I said. I teetered a bit once on my feet, but his large hand steadied me.
"Better fix your clothes, Nicco, or your lady protectors will think I ravished you."
"Too late," piped a child's voice from behind him.
Tamas spun on his heel. He planted his hands on his hips and glared at the child. I started to speak but one look at Kinna's bland expression told me this was a game. Tamas spoke sternly to him about respecting his Master; Kinna looked solemn and shouted "HAI!" Tamas crossed the few feet to the small boy and ruffled his hair.
"Go get Teru and Noah, tell them to go on home. I'll be along shortly."
Kinna nodded. He glanced at me tucking my shirt into my hose and pulling my doublet smooth. He grinned and I suddenly knew Gisela would hear about this somehow.
"Tell Mum, not to worry, hai?"
"HAI!" The small boy bowed. Tamas laughed.
"Then go straight home to your Mum, I dun need her takin any more o' my hide over yeh!"
Kinna giggled and shot out the door. I heard several girls yell to him. Tamas shrugged and grinned sheepishly. He returned to my side and adjusted my collar, a detail I usually had trouble doing on my own.
"Hai, hai, that child," he laughed.
Tamas shrugged his cloak forward off his shoulders and pulled the hood up over his head hiding his hair and shadowing his face. He opened the door just enough to stick his head out. Cook yelled at someone. Tamas turned to me holding his finger to his lips; he grabbed my hand as Cook's voice got louder berating some poor sod. Tamas looked out again.
He swung the door open and shot out along the wall with me in tow. All eyes were on Cook and no one saw us pass through the kitchen to the back stairs. Tamas' boots clattered on the stairs and I scrambled to keep up. At the first landing, He stopped, panting slightly and leaned against the wall. He wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close.
"How can you not be panting?" He asked between breaths, his hood sliding back off his hair.
"I run up and down these a dozen times a day," I said laughing. "You're in my house now, smith!"
"No wonder you have such fine lookin' legs." He grinned.
"Tamas!" I said embarrassed.
He laughed and kissed me again. Fire sparked off his hair; tiny rivulets of flame ran down his face and across his cheekbones. He tipped his head and I felt the heat of his fire. Instinctively, I pulled back and he dampened the flame.
"Sorry," he said. "My control isn't quite perfect yet. But I've not set fire to anything in a year or more. Nor burned anyone."
He frowned; then shook his head. His face was so dark I decided to wait until he wanted to tell me about it. Grasping his hand, I pulled him up the rest of the stairs; I didn't need a servant coming down to discover us. That would not make my day perfect. My room was a nice twenty-five paces from the stairs but Tamas covered the distance in eighteen.
He pushed the door open and stepped through without ever letting go of my hand. The lamp on the table flared to life with a snap of his fingers. My room, never very big, suddenly seemed half its usual size with the fiery smith standing in the middle. Tamas shrugged the cloak back over his shoulders, the shiny gold lining contrasting with his bright hair.
"Anybody ever tell you, you look like a god?" I asked.
"Not the village priest," He said with a laugh. "But you wouldn't believe what the village girls have called me."
"Hmm, I bet I would."
"Oh?" Tamas wrapped his arms around me. "And what would you call me?"
I reached up and pulled the hair sticks out; flame tumbled down his shoulders and down my back.
"Mine." I said.
Tamas' only answer was a passionate kiss that left me shaky and pleading with my knees not to quit on me. He retrieved his sticks from my limp hand and coiled his hair up again.
"I will see you tomorrow," he said softly. "Come to the smithy after the crowds leave." He kissed me again.
"I promise to be good," he said and then he was gone. I leaped to the door, pulled it open, and stuck my head out. A last fold of gold cloth disappeared around the corner to the back stairs; I ground my teeth in frustration.
"Dragged along at his pace indeed," I thought closing the door.
The following afternoon I arrived at the smithy well after the crowds had left. I peered around the wall of the building, not quite certain how welcome my presence would be after the day before. However, the smithy looked like business as usual; Tamas was listening to something the Master was saying. Chohee and another apprentice had Teru`s attention. Noah and Kinna were nowhere to be seen. I stepped around the wall and stood shifting from one foot to the other for several minutes.
Chohee noticed me first and drew Tamas' attention with a jerk of his head, before going back to his discussion with Teru. Tamas waved me over to his side. His hand lightly stroked up my back by way of greeting. The Master nodded to me; there was no trace of yesterday's trouble on his face. Right now, he was a teacher and Tamas his rapt pupil.
I listened for a few minutes but to be honest, a discussion of the tensile strength of various metals bored me to yawns. I drifted away but Chohee and Teru's discussion was equally as esoteric. I found a quiet place, to sit, near where the forge wall touched the cottage wall. I could hear a bright childish voice chattering on the other side of the cot wall, but couldn't make out any words. A light woman's voice answered, there was a small pause and then the child continued talking.
Left to my own devices brought out my natural inquisitiveness and I studied the interior of the forge. The forge floor sloped downward from the step at the door toward the palisade wall. The ground just outside the forge was rutted from wagon wheels and horse hooves and I expected it spent most of the year a morass of mud. A long narrow cage of logs jutted out from the edge of the building behind me, I studied it puzzled but couldn't make out its use. Above me, the roof was far less sloped than the front, stretching well out over the rutted ground.
Inside, the forge was very different from Tamas' as well. Two fires burned brightly in the fireplace, I thought while that was convenient it must make for many bumped elbows. The forge itself was open on each end, I thought perhaps to heat longer things like lances. Above and on either side of the chimney, a bellows sat on a wooden platform connected to a lever attached to a pedal on the floor. A long metal-topped counter ran out from the wall providing workspace. As in Tamas' forge, there were hammers, tongs and less obvious metal tools in profusion.
Tamas and the Master stopped speaking and Tamas walked over to me. Crouching down, he brushed my cheek with his fingers. The sound of his heartbeat nearly deafened me before I blocked it out by concentrating on my own thundering heartbeat.
"I missed you," he said softly.
"Hmm, you were the one who left last night," I said.
"I had too, you're too heady a potion; I'll get drunk and do something I regret."
"Regret?"
"Make no mistake, I want you so bad it hurts, but I can't now." He looked distressed. "Please don't be hurt, I promise when the time is right..." his voice trailed off.
"Tamas!" The Master called to him before I could answer.
"Hai, Master Madoc, comin'" he tapped my lower lip with his finger before straightening up and returning to the forge.
"Looks like I better resign myself to going `at his pace'," I thought with a rueful smile.
The afternoon passed rather leisurely, nothing particularly dramatic happened, consequently nothing to attract the ladies. Despite his easygoing manner, Master Madoc pushed both Tamas and Teru mercilessly. Light in both his praise and his criticisms, he appeared most pleased when either student recognized an error before he had to point it out to them. Like all good teachers, he was most pleased when his students learned from their mistakes. For myself, I enjoyed watching Tamas glow with pleasure as he worked. His pride in his craft and his love of the forge and fire was evident in everything he did.
I had one tense moment when a couple garrison men showed up to discuss repairs. I hunched over hoping they would mistake me for one of the Master's children. Tall, broad, swaggering, proud of their fighting skills and their class, Master Madoc showed no emotion as he held out his hand for their equipment. He studied it closely asked a couple short questions and nodded. Turning his back, he walked away from them. Both men left then, but I had the feeling one of them had looked at me as he exited the forge.
By the time they quit for the day, I had learned a bit about forging and perhaps more importantly I had learned three new verses to the Sweet Kate song and a new song about Madam Kitty and her girls. My education was expanding everyday it seemed!
Tamas dropped down beside me. He lay on his back, back one arm sheltering his eyes from the sun. I could feel the heat of his fire through our clothes. Dirt and sweat streaked his face and neck running down across his chest. Sweat plastered his shirt to his body; I poked at it with a grimace.
"I'm fair whipped, I am," he said panting. "That man is trying ta kill me!"
I snickered, "Poor thing, where's Noah and Kinna? Didn't they come today?"
"Nope," Tamas turned his head and peered out from under his arm. "They aren't ready to learn this stuff yet." He jerked his chin towards Teru. "I'm recommending him for journeyman this autumn."
"I can't leave Granfa's forge without a competent journeyman there," he added.
"Leave?" I asked feeling ice water cascade down my back. I remembered Nayne's words about the wyvern blood putting his feet in motion one day.
"Hai, being a journeyman, I need to journey. To learn from other masters." He paused. "But there's been no one to take the forge when I go, so I've put it off."
"Oh," I murmured shivering from ice water again. Tamas sat up abruptly and caught my chin in his hand.
"But never you worry, I won't be gone long, I'll be back." He leaned forward and kissed me softly. "I'll be back for you."
His breath against my cheek took my own breath away. I felt that now familiar ache in my gut and groin. The pounding in my ears was so loud, deafening me. I couldn't decide which beat, his or mine, were louder. Tamas flopped down on his back again.
"It's been arranged forever, that I'd finish my journeyman ship in Wallingfirth up north. Master Colin is an old friend of Granfa's. His reputation is among the top smiths in the country."
"But," he sighed, "it will be a long miserable winter wi' out you."
"Well," I said. "It's still a ways off, it's not even summer yet. No point in buying sorrow."
Tamas chuckled. One of the smith's smaller children ran by and Tamas snaked out an arm and caught the edge of its tunic. The child turned and we saw she was a young girl roughly Kinna's age. I saw her face light up and her eyes sparkle at being stopped by the red head.
"Wee one, can a drop of drink be found for a poor parched boy?" Tamas asked with a smile. The child audibly sighed in pleasure at his words.
"Oh, drink!" I pulled the jar I had taken from the larder the day before out of my doublet. "I have ale, the stuff you like."
The girl pouted, I was certain she wanted to serve the handsome smith. I felt her annoyance at me radiating out like heat. I smiled at her.
"Could we borrow a pair of mugs from your Lady Mother?" I asked pulling out my finest court manners.
The child giggled and made a sketchy curtsey before streaking off to the house. Tamas shouted after her to bring a bucket of water too. Once again, I marveled at Tamas' ease with children and their attraction to him. A sudden pain spread through my chest, tightening my breath at the thought that I would never be able to provide a child for him. I clenched my fist and ducked my head.
Tamas rolled over on his side; his belly pressed to my thigh. He reached up and turned my head toward him. Puzzlement flickered in his eyes. His thumb rubbed my jaw as if trying to erase a spot or uncover something. He let go of my chin abruptly and reached into his shirt.
"Feh, I almost forgot," he said, pulling his hand out of his shirt. A band of flattened oval links of red gold coiled over his sooty fingers. He raised his hand and slid it over his head. Tiny sparks of flame flickered in the early evening light. Deftly Tamas slipped it over my head. It lay against my dark doublet like a ribbon of fire.
"Now you really are mine," he whispered. "'Tis Gypsy work, that one. They do the finest gold work, I've ever seen." He lifted the necklace on one finger. "The flattened link is pure gypsy, and the different sized links are a wish for long life and prosperity."
He let the necklace fall back against my doublet. I watched the light flicker over the links: two small, one large, one small, one large, two small, repeated in a loop around me. I looked from it to Tamas and back to the necklace.
"It's beautiful," I whispered. "Thank you."
"Not as beautiful as you are," he whispered, kissing me.
"Hai, hai, break thah up!" Teru dropped down on the grass in front of me. "Have yeh no concep' o' bein` out in public?"
Tamas made a rude gesture and Teru whacked him on the ankle. Tamas spit out an obscenity and kicked at Teru, who dodged with a laugh. Teru, Nayne said, was almost twenty-one, which put everyone in the awkward position of having the younger one as the Master. Perhaps that explained his irreverent attitude toward Tamas; however, his devotion to the smith was real. Tamas pushed and Teru produced, a good combination, I'd decided after watching them work together. They would make a reputation for themselves that would stretch beyond the boundaries of this small village.
Chohee joined us at the same time as the girl returned juggling a pair of earthenware mugs and a bucket of water. Teru sprang up to help her and her eyes grew even bigger than ever. Chohee affectionately hugged her and sent her for more mugs and another jug of ale.
"Me youngest sister, Marin," he said affectionately. "She be on'y three years older'n me own gel, Sarah." He chuckled.
"You have a daughter?" I asked surprised. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tamas and Teru peel their sweaty shirts off and splash water on their faces and necks. Teru's build was every bit as sturdy as Tamas', which I had already guessed after watching him work.
"Well yeah," he said blushing. "Twas a bit o' surprise, that one. But she came and we got married so as she'd be born proper and all that. But I dun mind, it gives a body som'thin' to work fer and som'thin' ta go `ome ta each night."
I thought about that some, something to work for and something to go home to; I thought of my narrow room and wondered what I had there to welcome me home. I stared moodily at my hands. A wet finger ran up the back of my neck, trickling cold water down under my collar; I jerked and let out a squeal.
"Yeh bloody great divil," I swore rounding on the laughing boy. He fended off my pummeling fists awkwardly being too busy laughing. Teru cheered me on, while Chohee watched laughter sparkling in his grin.
The child, Marin, returned at this time, a tiny, dark haired girl attached to her skirts. Her expression shot daggers at me for attacking the object of her affections. Tamas grinned and hooked an arm around her waist, pulling her up to his side. He whispered in her ear and she giggled. He took the jug from her and planted a kiss on her rosy cheek. Her eyes grew the size of twin moons and she was off in a shot.
Teru laughed, "Yer hareem is getting big, yeh great flirt."
Tamas laughed and handed Teru one of the mugs. Chohee, meanwhile, had picked up the tiny girl and was crooning to her in a low voice. She laughed and patted his cheeks. Tamas leaned forward and tugged her ear. She squealed in pleasure at seeing the red head. Chohee shook his head and grinned.
"'E attracts `em o' all ages," he said with a laugh. "Oh thank yeh, Teru."
Teru poured ale into all four mugs; I took a cautious sip. It was the same ale as I had taken from the larder, probably part of a payment for services rendered. Tamas swallowed it in one long gulp; holding out his mug, he demanded a refill. Teru accused him of being greedy but poured him more anyway. I leaned into Tamas' shoulder and listened to the others talking and laughing. Tamas produced a rucksack packed with Nayne's fresh bread, good cheese and some salt pork. Chohee passed on the food, his dinner awaited him in the cottage, but I dug in gladly. We emptied the jug of ale as well as the jar I had brought. I drunk my share fair share and was no less cheerful than the others were. Sarah jumped from her father's lap to Tamas' to Teru with the ease of a small child comfortable in her surroundings. All three let her come and go as they talked, ably dodging her little head with their mugs. Finally, she settled down in Chohee's lap with a giant yawn and droopy eyes. He looked down, chucked her under the chin and emptied his mug.
"Ah better git yeh inside `fore yeh mum comes out an gives me the what for," he said standing up balancing both child and mug. "G'ni' all."
We said good night in return. Teru gathered up the mugs, jug, and carried them up to the cot. Tamas poked the empy bucket and prophesied dire consequences to Chohee for letting Sarah get dirty. I snickered feeling slightly drunk. Teru returned and we left the smithy by the gate. Tamas' arm around my waist felt heavenly, his fingers lightly stroking my hip. I leaned into his shoulder.
"Nicco!"
My head snapped up and around like a ball on a string. Lehi approached his face red with anger, striding across the castle grounds from the direction of the practice field. I jumped like a startled deer. I hadn't seen Lehi since Christmas and now he was angry with me. Beside me, I felt Tamas tense up. Heat poured off him in waves.
Lehi stopped two feet from me and grabbed my arm, jerking me out of Tamas' grip. I stumbled and cried out as I tried to find my footing. Behind me I heard Teru give a surprised `oi' and a feral growl escaped Tamas' lips.
"Nicco, Roderik said he saw you at the forge! What are you doing hanging around with the likes of them?" I opened my mouth to answer but never got the chance. "You smell of ale! Are you drunk? Did they get you drunk? "
"Well not that drunk," I thought confused, but before I could say, anything Tamas grabbed Lehi's arm.
Who are yeh man'andling' Nicco like thah!?"
Lehi let go of me and swung around to grab Tamas' arm. Lehi had the advantage in reach by being a couple inches taller than Tamas, but Tamas didn't spend everyday pounding metal into shape for nothing; his fist connected with Lehi's cheek with a resounding smack. Lehi stumbled backwards but recovered fast. The next hit to connect was Lehi's fist. Tamas flinched as the blow landed on the bruise from Teru's fist the day before, but he swung at Lehi again.
"Stop it!" I shouted leaping between them.
Teru jumped forward and grabbed Tamas in a lock hold, pulling him backwards as I pushed Lehi back toward the castle. Tamas fought Teru and growled a long deep growl that reverberated through my head. Fire shot off him like flaming arrows; I heard Teru hiss in pain, but Teru had the advantage of height and equal strength and Tamas couldn't get loose. My head exploded from a scream of rage only I could hear, me and any other dragon in the vicinity. The sound of his heartbeat increased in volume to a deafening roar.
"Take him home" I shouted to Teru over the crowd that was beginning to converge. "I'll take care of Lehi!"
Lehi leaped forward waving his fist at Tamas. Tamas growled again and nearly broke out of Teru's hold.
"You violent peasant cur! If I ever catch you with my little brother again I'll-" My hand connecting with his cheek in an openhanded slap cut off Lehi's shout.
"You shut up!" I yelled. "Just shut up, you don't know anything."
Tamas growled again and lurched forward; once again, my head was split with a scream of rage. His eyes were wild, the eyes of a crazed animal. Fire danced in them and down his cheeks. Chohee and Master Madoc appeared one on either side of him. They hooked their arms through his and lifted him off the ground. Teru slumped to the ground in pain. Chohee looked back at me.
"We'll cool im down and send im ome." He nodded to Lehi. "Yeh take care o' im."
The crowd pressed on us shouting questions and asking for explanations. Afraid that His Lordship would appear soon, I grabbed Lehi's arm and dragged him away. Fury must have lent me strength or Lehi was in shock, but either way I was able to drag him away from the crowd.
I let go of his arm as we rounded the corner of the East Wing. I had thought the day before had been the most humiliating day of my life, but now I knew it was nothing compared to the humiliation and fury I felt right now! Up until Lehi had shown up, this evening had been the most fun I'd ever had and I really felt as if I had gained some friends.
Mixed in with the other emotions was fear. The Tamas I saw then was neither the gentle laughing lover nor the dedicated smith, that Tamas had been an eye blink from becoming a dragon. My head still felt the echo of his scream of rage and his heartbeat nearly deafened me. I dashed tears out of my eyes and glared at Lehi, who was probing his cheek. I suppressed the urge to kick him.
"You idiot!" I yelled. "Yeh great bloody stupid arse! How dare you do that to my friends?"
"Friends?" Lehi looked puzzled. "Nicco, you can't be friends with them! They're peasants!"
"Oh and I have to be friends with the high and mighty here at the castle?!"
"They are your class after all," Lehi said calmly.
"OH, they are? Since when? All I am to them is a joke! Or someone to be pitied." Lehi looked surprised and I went on, "Don't think I don't hear the whispers or the snickers, I know as well as you what the people of `my class' have to say about me! How many stories have you told for laughs about your poor crippled little brother?"
Lehi had at least the decency to look embarrassed. I wasn't mollified though and cut off his stammered excuses.
"Why d'you people think I'm deaf as well as crippled? I have ears! I hear the whispers and the rumors about my sexual potency."
I wiped my eyes again, "When did any of them ever ask me to have a drink with them? When did they ever do anything with me!?"
"Nicco, you know, you're not the most approachable person. People feel put off by that," Lehi said pompously.
"Put off!" I yelled. "They're put off!?"
I turned and stormed off toward the stairs, I was now beyond furious. I could barely think I was so angry. All I wanted was to go to my room and cry myself to sleep.
"Nicco!" Lehi ran up and grabbed my arm. I jerked it out of his grip.
"Damn you! Damn you to hell! I'm unapproachable, am I? I'll show you unapproachable, don't you ever get near me again! I hate you, Lehi! D'you hear me. I. HATE. YOU!"
I stomped off in the direction of the door, Lehi's shouts to me going unheeded. For the first time in my life, I had felt completely comfortable in a group and had felt a part of that group. I had had my beautiful, laughing lover at my side and two men I felt honored to call friends, in spite of their peasant birth. I had spent an evening listening to laughter without once wondering if they were laughing at me.
Somehow, I made it to my room, mostly because my feet knew the way because my mind was filled with images of the day. Tamas at the forge, Teru laughing and teasing Tamas, Chohee's face while holding his daughter, Marin's shy smile. I had been pleased to see Lehi, happy to think he had sought me out, only to have my happiness smashed with a curse and a fist. Lehi pounded on the door and shouted to me but I had no energy or interest in answering.
Tamas' heartbeat pounded, in my head, so loud I could barely think. My head was pounding harder than the worst hangover I'd ever had. Leaning against the door, I willed my own heart to slow down. There was no way Tamas would calm down if I my heartbeat didn't relax as well. I stumbled across to the bed and tumbled in without undressing. Pulling the quilt up over my head, I burrowed into the bedding. A soft shimmer caught my eye, it was the necklace Tamas had given me. It glowed softly in the dark, gypsy magic or dragon magic, it didn't matter, it was a comforting glow nevertheless. I gathered the links into my hand and held them to my cheek. I drifted to sleep feeling their soothing heat and seeing my beautiful lover laughing as he enjoyed his company and his life.
August 8, 2008