I had always imagined my friend Markie was at least a little bit gay. He was one of the few straight guys I felt comfortable around, like we had anything to talk about. He wears the label "fag stag" proudly -- he loves meeting my gay friends. I think he has always enjoyed hanging out with us because we accept him for who he is. I also think he likes being flattered by other guys telling him how attractive he is and how lucky girls are that he is straight. Its true, girls really do go crazy for him, especially the fag hag types. In that way, he is a lot like the rest of us, dating within our friend circle. It is incestuous, but this is gay life in a small city. And apparently for the fag hags and Markie, they are along for the ride of partner swapping.
Markie had never come on to me, although we do flirt quite a bit. For fun, he is often holding my hand, or picking lint off my clothing in public. I don't mind -- it is something we have been doing for years now, and it doesn't harm anyone. But it has never gone farther than that. I am glad, because it would probably ruin our friendship. It has certainly crossed my mind, and when I drink too much it seems like a good idea, but it has never happened. We've even shared the same bed and cuddled. This is usually after a night out drinking, and I have to be the little spoon so I don't poke him. I think he knows, but he's a great guy and plays along.
Markie is definitely more my friend than the rest of the gays in our group. We've been friends for several years now. We met when I was dating his brother, James. It didn't last long. James was crazy and a bit of a drama queen. I am a little bit embarrassed that we dated, though I don't talk about that with Markie too much because he loves his brother and accepts him the way he is. I don't see James very often now that he lives in California, but we are cordial to each other around the holidays. He is convinced that Markie and I are fucking, though neither one of us works too hard to deny it. In a weird way, I just think he is jealous.
I wonder if Markie started hanging out with me only to understand his brother. He knew nothing about gay culture, and had never really talked with James about it. I was one of the few guys James had ever taken home, so his family thought it was a really serious relationship. I don't think I ever had serious intentions with him, so in retrospect it would have been more respectful to stay away from his family, but now I'm glad I went. The Martins have more or less adopted me as another son. They've never said anything about Markie and I, but I'm sure they wonder.
When I met Markie, he was dating a girl, Cathy. She was nice enough, I don't really remember her. I only met her that one time when I went over the Martin's for dinner. I think I had talked to everyone but her. A couple weeks later, Markie showed up alone to the double date he and Cathy were supposed to be having with James and I. That double-date turned third wheel is really what forged my friendship with Markie. We went to the same university (though we had never known eachother), liked a lot of the same shows, and we also had fun slamming Cathy. He seemed to be a bit raw about it, but seemed more or less happy that it was over. It wasn't until a few months later that I learned she had actually broken up with him. And it was a couple years after that I learned that he was thinking of proposing to her. Neither of us can make sense of why he was thinking that, but things are always clearer in retrospect.
During that dinner, we all but ignored James. I feel awful, still, about the whole thing. I kept comparing him to Cathy and badmouthing the "women" in our lives. Halfway through the dinner I realized how much of an asshole I was being, but I knew I wanted to end it with James anyway. It was particularly painful after that, because he wanted to "work through it", even after the awful things I said.
I just stopped calling James, and called Markie instead. I really wanted to make more straight friends, and Markie seemed genuinely interested in who I was. It wasn't until James moved away and Markie had a few beers in him that he confronted me and told me how much I had hurt James.
"I like hanging out with you, man. But I guess I was surprised to learn that gay guys can be assholes too."
I was shocked, and really embarrassed. I desperately wanted Markie to like me, and I already felt bad about how I was treating James.
"Sorry. I know I can be an asshole. I'm sorry it didn't work out between us."
"Well, you didn't have to treat him like that. He's my brother, you know."
My face felt hot. Normally I feel angry when I'm hurt, but in this instance, in this stupid loud sports pub filled with men, I wanted to cry and apologize.
"I'm sorry. I've got to learn to treat guys better. I think I still treat them like women."
"Well, just don't treat me like that, man. How am I supposed to respect gay guys and treat you all like human beings when you're setting such a bad example?"
I felt like he had punched me in the stomach. He was totally right, and he was touching upon something I hadn't let myself think about.
Markie convinced me that I needed gay friends. He felt guilty about the way he had treated his brother over the years as well, so we decided to make friends together. I only knew guys I had gone on dates with or had sex with. I had very few gay friends who I would hang out with, and none who I would hang out with regularly. At that time in my life, I didn't really have any close friends. I think that's why I latched onto Markie so much. I was more or less out by the time I had met him, but I still hadn't accepted myself, and I definitely had not accepted the gay community.
So we started hanging out with my friends Chuck and Leo. I had gone on a couple dates with Leo, but we had decided we weren't really into eachother, which was one of the few relationships that I had which didn't go down into flames. Chuck and Leo had been together more or less since Leo and I stopped dating, and I had had dinner with them a couple of times. Chuck has been out for a long time and I think he was very relieved when he found Leo and he could finally settle down. This was almost 4 years ago now, and they are still as happy as ever.
Being a more outgoing gay, Chuck has many gay friends, and I have gotten to know most of them since. I have to say I've also used his friend network for dates and hookups, but I have learned that this is just the way of things and not to be ashamed. Markie knows a lot of these guys too because I take him to the parties. He's become a real fag stag, though he very rarely goes to these parties without me. I'm his wingman, cock blocking the guys who think they can flip him or the occasional overzeleous hag.
Most of the guys know that he is straight and respect that. He's come a long way and can totally pass for gay now. He has relaxed a lot, probably as good if not better than I have. But I think he is the forbidden fruit, and sometimes guys just want a bite. He takes the compliments and friendly touches in stride -- usually letting a third party tell the hopeful homo know he's not going to get lucky. But then there is Benjamin. Benjamin used to be a go-go boy. He still has a killer body. He's young, tiny and hairless, and full of energy. He's used to getting what he wants, and he decided long ago that he wanted Markie. And for whatever reason, Markie liked to fuel the fire. He flirted with Benjamin more than anyone, often putting his arms around him, and dancing with him at parties or in the clubs. Despite trying very hard and bragging to everyone else that he would succeed, Benjamin could never bed Markie. There were a few times that even I thought it was going to happen. I'm glad it didn't because as soon as Benjamin had Markie, he would move on to his next conquest. That is just the way he is. If you can't tell, I'm not a big fan.
About two years after I met Markie, and almost a year after Benjamin started hanging around, a bunch of us went up to a ski lodge for a long weekend. I did not (and I do not think Markie did either) know that it was a boys-only weekend. By this time, he'd learned that the fag hags were easy picking for him, and he could have relatively strings-free sex with them when he wanted it. But not this weekend, it would be just Markie and the boys. And of course, Benjamin.
Well, it all started off in great fun. That first Friday night, we all got pretty drunk, though we were drinking slowly, playing games and eating the whole time. By 10 pm, there were already guys disappearing into the many rooms and closets of the house. There was no denying it, this was designed to be a debaucherous weekend. The boys were all in various stages of undress -- some having re-dressed just to play another round of strip poker. I was having fun, but for whatever reason, I just wasn't feeling any of the guys there.
I couldn't help but notice that all of the guys seemed to be fawning over Markie. They were eager to refill his drink, and they all wanted talk with him. I wanted to protect him, but I felt a certain amount of hostility from the others -- I felt like I couldn't get near him. Everyone knew we weren't dating -- believe me, we all knew he was straight -- and at that time Markie wasn't very affectionate towards me. That was fine, because as good of friends as we were, I just couldn't treat him like another gay guy. But this evening, none of the other guys seemed to be having this problem, and I found it quite frustrating. And Markie didn't even seem to mind.
In fact, he didn't even need me -- he had his own cock-block system set up. For most of the night, he had his arm around Benjamin's waist, or over his shoulder. At the particular moment I found myself caught in, he had Benjamin pulled up to him, leaning against him, while he had both arms wrapped around, playing cards with the other guys. My friend Markie -- my straight friend, with no shirt on, no socks, and a great big smile. And Benjamin, relaxed and laughing, in impossibly short cutoff jeans and nothing else, except the knowledge that he was a sexy, frustrating lightning-rod of envy.
And that's when it happened. Probably because Benjamin was helping Markie lose, Markie now had to take off his pants. I had already watched the clothes come off, piece by piece. I saw the smug excitement when Benjamin whipped off Marie's belt. I had heard the cheers from all the guys - that they were now getting to see all of Markie as they had been wanting to, mixed with nervous sips of booze and staring as the envy cut through the fanfare. And now, his pants were coming off.
Benjamin stood up, peeling his body off of Markie's, and as he did so, he pushed his ass into and off of Markie's crotch. Turning around, Benjamin helped Markie stand up straight. I realized at this moment that Benjamin had been drinking very little that night, just taking little sips. And with all of the refills, Markie was bleary-eyed drunk. As Benjamin crouched down to work on Markie's zipper, Markie held onto his shoulder to keep his balance. By this time, I was practically seething. I couldn't believe that Markie had gotten himself into this situation, and I was fully aware that I was jealous that it was not me. With the button and fly open, pulled aside like wings for his cock and balls to be set free, I saw Benjamin and Markie exchange a look. Benjamin, with his toothy smile and carnal request, and Markie's lazy wink and sloppy nod.
With the denim pooled at his feet, and Benjamin helping him step out, Markie was laughing.
"Take it all off!" Someone yelled. Everyone in the room was silent, and looking at the action.
"Not yet!" Markie replied.
"Well you gotta take it off for someone!" was the reply.
Finished derobing Markie, Benjamin rose up where he stood, just inches below Markie's chin.
"All set" He said, looking up at Markie.
"Thank you" Markie said, then inexplicably grabbing both sides of Benjamin's head, he kisses him full on the lips.
Deciding this thank-you kiss is as far as this is going to go, I start to make my way over to end this nonsense. But Leo, who I've been halfheartedly chatting with, grabs my wrist. I look down, then up at him, waiting for an explanation. He gives me a stern look, and Chuck steps in front of me.
Through Chuck's fluffy hair, I can see as Benjamin pushes into Markie. Hard into his hips, as he holds on tight, hard into his face as he throws his tongue into Markie's mouth. Hard into his chest, as Benjamin pushes him down into the couch behind. Markie falls hard, but in an instant, Bejamin is up in his lap, without breaking the vacuum between their lips. Markie does not resist, in fact, he moves both of his hands to Benjamin's ass, forcing the grind down onto his cock, while Benjamin hungrily lashes the inside of his mouth.
"That's so hot," I can hear Chuck say. I am fuming, and Leo is still holding onto my wrist.
"He's a grown man." He says.
"This is good for him." Chuck adds.
I try to escape, to intervene, but Leo pulls on my arm. Chuck pushes back into me, as they create a man sandwich to keep me from getting away.
I struggle, frustrated and feeling betrayed, while my two best gay friends keep me from helping my best straight friend get away from something he will severely regret.
But as I struggle, I realize Markie is liking it. He is giving the guys a good show, and Benjamin, who was born on stage, is thrilled to be the supporting actor. I realize at this moment that I may be forced to watch my best friend have sex with a guy for the first time in front of dozens of gay men.
"Caleb, you're hard" Chuck says.
"What?" I respond.
"You're hard. You are getting off on this."
I stop struggling. I stop, and realize that in fact, I am raging hard and I can feel the heat from my cock, and the ache in my balls, and the close contact with Chuck's ass.
I realize this, as Benjamin is pulling Markie up, and to the cheers from the crowd, pulling him into a bedroom. Markie follows, and he doesn't look back. I realize this is a lost cause.
"You could play with us, tonight." Leo says, and then I notice his cock is also hard, and he slowly pushes it into my side.
I feel frustrated and confused, and surprisingly, really horny. As I watch my best friend walk into a room with a gay boy I never trusted, I realize life is never what you're expecting. The door shuts, and I let go of all preconceptions.
"Let's do it" I respond.
Being some of the benefactors for the weekend, Leo and Chuck had a bedroom reserved, with a private bathroom. They showered first, and while I cleaned up they prepared the room. On the way in, I noticed the bottle of wine, but as I step out of the steam in my towel, I notice the low lights, the mood music, and Chuck bare on the bed. Leo, with a match in one hand, holds the towel wrapped around his waist with the other. Even though we did not date for very long, I can not say that I'm not attracted to him. I have never seen his smooth dark skin and the curls of hair on his chest. His strong arms with prominent veins, and the confident swagger of a man who knows he's going to get laid.
"Drop your towels" Chuck says. Surprised at his sexual aggression, I watch as Leo shakes out the match and releases the towel. It falls to the floor, revealing a forest of hair and the trunk of an enormous, curved cock.
"Get over here, handsome" Chuck says.
Leo strides over to Chuck, and my eyes do not leave his cock, even as the shining purple head bobs in and out of his tight foreskin. He climbs up onto the bed, on all fours, and kisses Chuck deeply. They break the kiss, and Chuck says "You too, Caleb. Get over here if you want some of this."
As he says that, Chuck's surprisingly pink cock jumps. His wrinkled ballsack is pulled up close, and I can see his prostate through the almost-white fuzz of hair. His legs are strong, with veins popping out like Leo's arms braced on either side of him. I drop my towel, and my member breathes deep and swings out -- I have been hard nonstop since I said I would do this.
I head straight for Chuck's cock, and make first contact with a bead of precum. Never having thought of him sexually while fully clothed, Chuck, naked and with hidden demands, was now turning me on hardcore.
Although I'd had my fair share of cocks, I never considered myself an expert cocksucker, but this time I am determined to take him all in. I can feel the veins on my tongue, and as I push down onto him, I can feel the ridge of his cockhead swell against my tonsils. I go up and down several times, building up a rhythm and lubrication. As I do pushups over his cock, and I can feel the scratch hair of Leo's thigh moving beside me.
I'm too filled with lust and cock to look how Leo is rearranging himself. I feel something brush against my cheekbone and along my eyesocket. When I pull off Chuck to look, I feel a more insistent push against the fleshy hollow in my cheek. Leo is pushed up into a side plank, and his swollen cock is pointed straight at my face. Both he and Chuck are looking down at me, smiling and waiting.
I test a lick on Leo's enormous cock, so smooth, but I'm not sure I can fit it inside my mouth. I lick around the ridge, salty and musky, and gently scrape my teeth along the way. He pushes at me, and I take half, maybe three quarters of his cockhead into my mouth. He backs up, and shoves again. This time, he gets it in, and I strain to keep my teeth from closing down on it. I pull off, shaking my head to tell him I can't do it, and then continue to lick around and suck on it where I can. The angle is difficult for me, so I switch back to Chuck's cock.
While Leo shifts away from us, Chuck slides back so that he is sitting up against the headboard. I follow his cock, swiping at his balls and his legs with my tongue as we go. I get up on all fours, and then begin making my way up his stomach to his nipples.
I feel Leo up behind me, and he reaches between my legs and fondles my cock and balls. He holds me with a strange grip that feels great but rough. Then, I feel the scratching of his goatee on my taint, as he breathes deep into my ass. I've never had anyone eat me out before, but having been hopeful, I washed thoroughly in the shower. Leo tests my hole with his tongue. It feels warm and wet and uncontrollable, and liking what he finds, he pushes inside of me. I feel my asshole fill with what feels like a warm and moving liquid, but his tongue is surprisingly strong as it pushes against my sphincter and forces it to stretch open. Soon, he is eating my ass as hungrily as Benjamin was churning inside Markie's mouth.
Lust overpowers regret as Leo nibbles on my edges. Involuntarily, I bite down on Chuck's nipple and let out a sharp gasp.
"Can we fuck you?" Leo asks, breathing heavily into my crack on a short reprieve.
"Yes" I sigh, and almost instantly I hear the sound of a foil wrapper behind me.
Because I have never been fucked before, I throw myself back onto Chuck's cock to distract myself. Behind me, Leo presses his fingers into my hole and lubes up my crack, balls and cock. I'm shocked at how loose and ready I seem, but I don't say anything -- I just keep working on the cock in my mouth.
Just before impact, I feel Leo kneel behind me, lining up his huge cock with my waiting hole. He presses against me, hot and ready and insistent.
"Push it in" Chuck says, above me.
Leo pushes in, clearing his cockhead. My ass explodes in pain, and I choke. I push up, with my instincts screaming to get away, and Leo holds me still. With one arm around my waist, and one arm over my chest, he breathes into my ear, "Relax. I'll wait for you."
I am breathing quickly, short, pained breaths, and my balls hold tight, pulled back into my body.
As the pain subsides and I try to relax, I lean back into Leo's hairy chest. Chuck, in front of me, looks a bit concerned, but he is also stroking his cock.
Deciding I can do this, I try to ease down further onto Leo's cock. He throbs, and stabs further into me. "Oh, oh, oh" I say in pain as my breath quickens again.
"Let's lay him down on his back" Chuck suggests. I nod, and silently, Leo picks me up with his strong arms and repositions me on the bed. With my knees around his shoulders, he gently pushes into me, while I stare up into his face. He is incredibly gentle, and slowly, ever so slowly, I relax. It seems incredibly intimate, and I think of Markie.
"Are you ready?" Leo asks me, without breaking the stare.
I nod, and Leo gets ready for the big push.
"Good" Chuck says, and pushes his cock in my face to distract me.
Soon, I'm bouncing on Leo's hips, with a pillow behind me. My cock is getting hard again, and noticing this, Leo grabs ahold of it and starts jacking. The sensation inside of me is incredible, and it feels like Leo is fucking hard enough to fill my cock with his own. I can barely keep my breath, and can only muster a few licks at Chuck's cock. Sitting on his heels, he takes over, jacking hard, and stopping every few strokes to push into my face again.
"You are such a hot fuck" Leo tells me, pulling on my hips for emphasis. I put my arms down on the bed to brace myself, as I'm barraged at both ends.
"This is my first time" I tell him.
"Oh, fuck!" Chuck tells me, and grabs my head to shove his dick down my throat.
I can't breath, but Chuck doesn't stop. He fucks hard, mashing against the inside of my cheek, my tongue, down my throat. I breathe through my nose, and I can see him pinching and squeezing his nipples.
"Eat my cum, Caleb" He tells me, thrusting even harder. Pulling out, he pops out of my mouth, and despite his attempt to get back in, he begins spurting up over my face. His dick jerks one, two... three times before weakening and his semen starts spilling onto my face. My asshole is singing, and I feel an orgasm coming from the inside. I shoot onto Leo's hand, onto my chest, onto the bed, all over. I contract on his cock each time, and I can feel every detail.
After one more deep thrust, Leo pulls out of me, peels the condom off, and makes full strokes up and down his cock.
"I can't get off with condoms" he says, arching his back and leaning his groin over me. I grab onto his balls, and he gasps.
"Fuck, I'm coming." He says, then starts spewing a thick, unending rope onto my chest, my face, and down my abs.
"Fuck, that was hot" I say, gasping for air. Leo strokes slowly, finally milking the last of his sperm.
"I'll get a towel" he says.
I wake up the next morning with a splitting headache, a sore asshole, and the spins. Leo and Chuck are asleep, wrapped around each other. I slowly pull on my clothes, looking around for any misplaced items. I can barely think straight.
I head down into the living area, and only a few guys are awake. The couches and the floor are littered with beer cans and sleeping guys. As I make my way to the kitchen for some water, I see Markie sitting at the breakfast bar, sipping some coffee. One look tells me he's got it as bad as I do, and I whisper to him "Are you ok?"
"Yeah" He croaks "Do you want to go home early?"
I nod, ready to get out of this place. The sex with Leo and Chuck was amazing, but I need to get some fresh air. I want to get Markie out of here as quickly as possible, and try to salvage our friendship from his regrettable evening.
As we drive home, despite the general cloud of hangover, I notice Markie is surprisingly ok. His shoulders are down, and his disposition is relaxed as he changes the station, as changes lanes. For a full half hour, neither of us say anything. I'm starting to feel as confused as I did the night before. Markie breaks the silence "Are you ok, Caleb? You're awfully quiet."
I hesitate, wondering if he at all remembers what happened. I consider just pretending like it didn't happen, like everything is normal, like I didn't see my best (straight!) friend fuck a guy I hate.
"What happened with you and Benjamin last night?"
"Oh that?" He laughs, looking at me as if relieved. "We just made out."
"But you went to bed with him. You didn't do anything?"
"Nope, just went to bed."
"Oh." I say. Maybe he used Benjamin as a cover to get the other guys off of his back, to stop the questions, to get some cred with the gays. But why would he have come on this trip anyway? Why did he kiss him? I saw that look between them. He was so drunk, he would have fucked anything. Why wasn't it me? Why doesn't he act that way with me?
"Lets just get home" I say, turning up the music "I want to go back to bed."
-- Mark Hankering October 24, 2010