Extracurricular

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"Extracurricular" is nearing its end. If you want to make sure you don't miss the conclusion, drop me a quick email. I'll be sure to make sure you know when the ending drops. I've appreciated the kind email and the nice feedback.

Chapter 12

Trent awoke to the smell of bacon. He came out to the kitchen where I was dressed in an old Jerome Hawkins school T-shirt and boxer shorts. He sat at the kitchen table, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Um, what happened last night?" he half said/half mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"Um ... sex wise."

"You mean when you pulled open the drapes and masturbated in the window?"

"Oh, shut up. Seriously, what happened?"

"You feel asleep with my dick in your hand."

"Oh, my gawd. Dear lord, how embarrassing," he said, sounding mortified.

I walked over to him and kissed him.

"Not at all. It was one of the most tender moments I've ever had with a man. I loved it. Good morning."

He gave me a peck on the lips. "Good morning. If you say so."

The bacon was almost ready. I had English muffins toasted and some fresh fruit cut up into two bowls.

We sat down to breakfast.

"I still don't know what to think about last night," he said.

"Explain."

"Lance. Lance and Jason having sex right in front of us. They were so casual, so comfortable. I felt like I was invading their privacy." He paused. "But I just watched. I got off watching them. I can't wrap my head around it. It was like I was trying to be someone else."

"You never have to be someone you're not. You're wonderful just as you are."

"Easy for you to say. You never have to pretend. You're so worldly."

"Worldly." I smiled, not really sure how to process that. Compliment or insult? "It's very easy to want to put on a different face for someone else. Just remember who you are is who you are supposed to be."

"Did you?"

"Did I what? Like what Lance and Jason did?"

"No. Not that. Did you ever try to be something you weren't to make people feel differently about you."

"Yes." I didn't say anything else.

"Okay. Explain."

"You know how some kids call me Professor Terry?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not a professor. It's not like I taught college or have an upper degree. That started my first year. We had a class discussion and one kid said I should teach college, that I sounded like a professor. The whole class started calling me Professor Terry. I hate to admit it, but I kind of liked it. At first."

"But then ...?"

"It was something I wasn't. I felt rather fake. I kept telling the kids they should stop calling me that. They had used it so commonly that their friends in other classes picked it up. When other teachers heard it, some just became stand-offish. I tried to end it, but some kids just let it continue."

"I guess I picked it up from others. I never thought about it."

"I didn't try to be something I wasn't, but I guess I enjoyed the rapport just a little. It's mostly gone today, but I have a few kids still do it. Most likely they had brothers or sisters who had me in the past. It took me a year or two to win back the approval of some of the staff members. Most realize I didn't start all that nonsense, but it still took some time. Maybe that caused me to withdraw a little as well. Along with being gay, of course."

"Do you think people suspect?"

"Two know. I'm sure others suspect. Thirty years old. Unmarried. No visible signs of a girlfriend. It is sure to make some wonder. What makes me feel worse is that when Ethan and I were together, I didn't have a single picture of him on my desk. I have no photos in my room."

"Wow." Trent looked me in the eyes. "It must be hard to be a teacher and want your life to be private. You have a hundred kids every day wondering about you."

"Right. I just want to genuinely be in their corner. I want to be there for them. I just don't think they need to know everything about me to do that. All it takes is one whackjob parent to raise an issue — and then it's a scandal."

"But ... it's so much better nowadays."

"It is," I said. "I've just been comfortable in my shell for all these years. I just didn't feel it necessary to be open with anyone at school. I'm not a liar or anything; but at times I feel somewhat of a fraud."

"No you're not," Trent said. "There is nothing wrong with being private. Heaven knows I was. I was afraid."

"Afraid of...?"

"Being different. First it was being so reclusive. So many people have sex at college. I am sure it is even more prevalent than I assume it to be. That whole brief sophomore experience was disappointing, but I still couldn't tell anyone I wasn't a virgin. I was afraid they'd ask about it. I had never had sex with a woman."

"Feel you are missing out?"

"Not after being with you." He winked as he said that. "But I felt ... different, an oddball, a ... freak. I wasn't having sex like everyone else. Then this year it all just start boiling inside me — my attraction to men was undeniable. I debated with myself I wasn't gay, insisted I wasn't. But I was. I knew I had to confront it, but I was terrified to say anything to any of my friends."

"You didn't feel they would accept it?"

"I had no idea. I was so unsure, I worked my stomach in knots. I had problems sleeping, eating ... just focusing. I didn't know where to turn. If my friends made fun of me or pushed me away, I couldn't have dealt with that. I was a mess. And then ... you stepped into my life."

While sweet, that scared me. If Trent had opened up to someone his own age, would he still be interested in me now? Would we still have connected?

We didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then we both placed our plates and silver in the dishwasher.

I wasn't sure how much of the day Trent planned to spend with me. He seemed buried alive with schoolwork. Being suddenly thrust in a relationship was incredibly time consuming. As much as my feelings for Trent continued to grow, so did my guilt. I couldn't be helping him at all when it came to finishing his degree.

"How mad would you be if I headed back to school fairly early?" he asked.

"Oh?"

"I'm sorry, Mike. I don't have one of my books here, and I should probably spend a little time in the library."

"I understand, babe. Of course I'll miss spending time with you, but I fully understand your classes come first. It's all right if we don't spend the day together."

"I wish we could. I hate this. I'm really torn."

Poor guy. He was just coming to terms with who he was, and his obligations were getting in the way. There is no good balance when you have too many responsibilities and a shortage of time.

"Do you have time for a run?" I asked.

"Yes. I'd like that. Which will lead to a shower, which I will like even better."

March was bringing some enjoyable temperatures. The mornings were cool, but that was okay for a jog. When I asked how much he had to accomplish today, it did sound overwhelming. If he didn't have practice several times a week, that might help, but being on the team and starting things up with me ... it was too much. Was I too big a complication to his life?

The shower took twice as long as it should have. Trent just held on to me for long stretches at a time.

"I hate that I have to leave. Please don't be mad. Please know it is killing me to not spend more of the weekend with you," he said, his head resting on my shoulder.

The shower continued to pour over us.

"It's been a great weekend though. Even with the game, we got to spend time together at the play," I said.

"And you came to the game ... and the weird night last night."

"Not to mention flaming hot sex. It's shocking how good we are together. I find it impressive that you have become comfortable with intimacy in such a short time. You are a natural for someone who has just come out."

"Oh please. If you're with the right person, it's just natural," he said, wrapping his arms around me.

His hand played with the hair on my chest as the water poured through it.

"You're right for me, that's for sure," I said, kissing his ear.

He continued to tease my chest hair. I loved that. We swayed back and forth just slightly in the water. It had just a hint of slow dancing. His hand roamed down my chest, eventually gripping my cock. It was fully erect.

"Hmm. Something is wanting some more," he softly said.

"As good as your hand feels there, no, that's not necessary. I'm having more sex than I have had in a year. You just make me hard."

"I'm rock hard too." After pausing a moment, he said, "Hopefully we can find time to be together this week."

He gripped my cock with a solid squeeze and then held me again.

—

Before long, he was taking his bag to the car. We both felt a little down having to cut the weekend short. We gave a long kiss. Knowing he was leaving me left a void. It was deep, but it was just for the moment. We would find time as the week progressed. I hoped. I couldn't picture my week without him. I became baffled that I couldn't picture my life without him. I felt the huge desire to tell him I loved him as he stepped out the door. Too soon. I shouldn't be feeling that. We were just good together, that was all.

—

We conveyed numerous texts on Monday. Trent called before going to bed. I could tell by his voice he was feeling crushed. It was the same tone I would use the two weeks prior to the state testing. The pressure feels insurmountable at certain stress points.

"I can't wait to see you again," he said as he hung up.

Tuesday was the same.

"I want to see you so bad," he said.

"Same here, baby. Good night."

Wednesday was bad for both of us. Not seeing each other for three days seemed like eons, which was silly. It had only been three days. Still, my feelings weighed heavily on me. I missed him. I needed him.

Sitting on the couch I stared into the middle space, trying not to feel empty. But that emptiness was there. Not seeing Trent was feeling like a void. I couldn't figure it out. People who typically date only see each other once or twice a week. Why did this seem so hard?

Confronting that question, I realized Trent had become important. Very important. Three weeks seemed way too fast to fall in love. That couldn't possibly be it. Maybe he was a lifeline from the loneliness I had settled into those past months. Was I using him as a crutch? I knew from the beginning it was more than just sex. I wasn't using him for that. I liked HIM. Him.

Figuring I had dwelled on enough though, I got up. I had just put away dishes from dinner when my cell rang. It seemed kind of early for him to call. He usually rings just before bed. It was silly, but I got excited just to see his name come up on my phone's screen. That alone should have told me something. I admitted to myself that I had fallen for him. Hard.

"Hi babe. This is a surprise."

"Yeah, I know. Um. I hate to ask, but the guys have company over, and I'm getting nowhere in my studies. The library is closed for two days because of some duct work they have to fiddle with. I can't even go there. Would it be okay if I came to your place to study?"

"Well absolutely."

"But I'm so, so, so sorry hon', I HAVE to study. I realize this is crappy of me to want to come over and then not spend time with you. It's hard enough to not be able to be with you, but for me to be there and then not give you quality time, it's really lousy of me."

"Please, come," I confirmed. "I will work on school as well. At least I can see you. How about you bring an overnight bag. At least we can snuggle. Think you can make it to your 8 o'clock if you leave from here?"

"Ohhh, I would love that."

Trent arrived 30 minutes later with a backpack of books and an overnight bag with a change of clothes. This was an unexpected bonus. I was elated to see him after three days.

He gave me a kiss as he entered the room and then dropped everything off at the dining room table. He returned to give me a bear hug and then a much longer kiss.

"I've missed you," he said.

"Same here."

"Sadly, I really have to jump in on this. My apartment situation has me behind as it is. And I got assigned another chapter today. I'm drowning."

He opened his books, a notebook and his laptop. He completely overtook the dining room table with work. I watched him prepare to dive in. I was so proud of him. I wanted to take him in my arms and just hold him, but we agreed to let him study.

"What can I get you to drink?" I offered.

"Um. Nothing. Actually, if there is one of those flavored waters in the back of the fridge still, I'd like one of those."

I poured it over ice. After taking it to him, I poured myself some wine.

His phone rang.

"Oh, hi, Mom."

I could tell she was telling him something but had no idea what.

"Studying," he said. "No, my roommates have company over."

She said something, but I couldn't hear.

"Um." He paused a moment. "I'm at the library," he lied to her.

I could tell by his body language that he hated doing that. I knew he also felt bad about hiding me. As much as we clicked, there was still a lot about me Trent was hiding. I had to admit I felt the same in some of my own specific circumstances. They talked for a few more minutes. Finally the conversation ended.

"Gah. Another delay."

He dove back into his work. I watched Trent on occasion as I worked on my own lessons. I had a stack of papers to grade too. Two hours later I had finished those.

I looked over to him and he still looked consumed. His eyes conveyed he was getting tired. As busy as work could be, I remembered how college years could crush a person at times. That seemed so long ago. Because it was. What was I doing with him? What's he doing with me? Were we really working?

Thoughts of Trent eventually realizing we weren't right for each other suddenly invaded my psyche. It was all so strange. Or was it? Was the age difference so insurmountable? I felt like I could handle it. But Trent ... so young ... in college. Some handsome guy would surely scoop him up. My brain started painting mental pictures of the day we went our separate ways. I found myself catching my breath, even finding my eyes watering picturing Trent's goodbye to me. It would be eloquent, perfectly worded.

The wine was getting to me. I waved the thoughts away mentally with my hand. Tonight was just tonight. He was here. I was glad he was here.

It was approaching 11, and I was feeling ready for bed.

I went over to him and hugged Trent from behind.

"How's it going, sweetheart?"

"Fair. I've got a lot done, but I know I won't be able to read this chapter tomorrow night. I ... I'm sorry ... I need to stay up a while longer."

"No problem, baby," I said kissing him. "I'll see you in bed eventually."

—

I rolled over. I felt for Trent, but he wasn't there. I looked at the clock. 1:07.

"Babe?" I quietly said as I stumbled into the dining room naked.

"I know. I know. Two pages left. I'll be there in a minute."

I had drifted off to sleep again, but my subconscious heard him brushing his teeth.

His body moving next to mine awakened me again. We gently kissed.

"Glad you're here," I said, as I wrapped my arms around him. We were two exhausted men. Sexual intimacy wasn't ever remotely a possibility. His fingers cupped around mine, and he held our hands close to his chest before we drifted off.

—

Thursday was better. He said he had made good progress. Devoting time to his studies was what he needed. I knew what he didn't need was a boyfriend to get in the way. I was loving our relationship but doubting that it was a good idea at the time. Why were these doubts plaguing me when we were apart? Every time we went long periods where we didn't see each other, I would feel panicky that he would get used to that. He might realize he didn't need me.

Even though he had made some headway, he had a night of work ahead of him.

As I lay in bed, it just felt empty. I had grown accustomed to him being next to me.

—

Trent was trying his hardest to make time for me. They had an out-of-town game tomorrow, so Friday night was all he could offer.

Once he showered from practice, he made it to my place. I had dinner ready: an Asian stir-fry.

"I so want a beer tonight. Please tell me you have one."

"I do indeed. Take your shoes off and hit the couch. I'll bring it to you."

I poured an ice-cold beer into a frosted pilsner. He appreciated the service.

"Ahh, marvelous."

As I wrapped up dinner, he checked something on his laptop. He began working, but I hoped we could have a little time to ourselves during the evening. At least he could get some of his work done before dinner. I called him to the table 20 minutes later.

I could tell Trent wanted to complain about his workload, but he was trying to sound upbeat about spending the evening with me. When he did talk about college, I noticed he tried to sound more adult to me than when we first started seeing each other. Trent wanted to appear to me as a man, not a kid.

"Where is your game tomorrow?"

"Out of town. Willow Creek. I think it's about 90 minutes. Which will take most of tomorrow."

"What time do you have to be there?"

"We load up the bus at 3:30."

"That gives us the morning."

"Yeeeeaah. Kind of. I will need to do a little work at least. I hate this, Mike. I want to spend my whole weekend with you. I hate being torn — schoolwork, basketball, us. How do real people juggle all this?"

"Welcome to adulthood sweetie. Imagine having kids thrown into the mix."

"We haven't made love since Saturday. Hopefully, we can do that tonight."

"I'm banking on it," I said. He winked and nodded in response.

I lit a candle. After dinner we just laid on the couch in the candlelight holding each other. The aroma of vanilla enveloped the living room.

"I needed this," he said. "Mike, I have missed you so much this week. It hurts to not be with you."

"I feel the same. But three weeks ago, we weren't even in each other's lives."

"It's crazy how life changed so fast. If you hadn't been in your classroom that afternoon, I would probably still be wrestling with who I am."

"Maybe you would have come out to Lance."

"I doubt that. He seems so ... noncommittal to anything. Surely, he has to know he is gay, but I know he still denies it. Even after Jason. That ended, by the way. I'm not sure what to think about him. Part of me knows how it feels to be in denial. I probably judge him more harshly than he deserves. He'll be really nice at practice, then he'll talk about his dates with girls in the locker room. He's a mess."

"Everyone deals with acceptance in their own way. Perhaps if you talked to Lance on a more personal level, he'd feel more comfortable being his real self."

"Hm." Trent pondered it. "Maybe."

"You, however, have made enormous strides. You accepted who you are, came out to some friends, and have entered the gay world."

"With the greatest boyfriend on Earth."

I leaned over to him. We kissed a while.

I dimmed the lights and we sat in the quietness of the night. I paid attention the sounds around us. I listened to Trent breathe. I could hear a dog barking a few houses down. A car honked as if to let someone know it was here. Moments later I heard a door slam, and it drove off. My fingers combed through Trent's hair as I listened to the ice maker in the fridge drop fresh cubes. He leaned further into my chest.

I couldn't help but think of the possibility of me not being in my classroom when Trent came in weeks ago. Would he be leaning into Lance right now? Trent knew Lance better than me, but I wondered if he really knew Lance fully. Trent called him arrogant, but I saw a vulnerability in him. Lance was searching. What if he really made a play for Trent? That wasn't an impossibility.

I kissed the top of his head after he reached to hold my hand against his chest. I tried to push any other thoughts than those of the two of us out of my mind. For several minutes, I watched his body breathe in and out with the heaving of my chest.

Trent turned to look at his backpack. I could tell he was wrestling with getting more work done. Then he turned his head back and nuzzled it into my chest. I felt relieved but also a little bit guilty. I was a thief with his time.

Guilty as I was, his body pressed into mine was like a drug. It sent a shot of warmth through my entire body.

I got up and momentarily went to the bedroom. I returned with a towel and lube.

"I want you to take me here."

"On the couch?" he asked.

"Yes."

I pulled him up and stripped his shirt off him. He pulled mine off. We began kissing as we stood there and unfastened each other's jeans. Without our lips separating, both of us pushed our clothes down. We paused just a moment to get fully nude.

We laid back down on the couch and began kissing again. Our exposed crotches then began grinding into each other. I felt his dick press into me. I begged him to fuck me.

"Shouldn't you be telling me to wear a condom?"

"I can get you one. But to be honest, I know you're fine. I want to feel your skin inside mine."

We had a week's worth of pent-up lust. I knew how I wanted it. I placed my knees and legs on the couch. I let my elbows rest on the back of it. He stood behind me and reached down to the coffee table.

Soon, I felt Trent slide a slick finger into my hole. He lubed it well and fingered me with a second finger. His third made me jump. That hurt. It momentarily reminded me why I didn't usually like to be a bottom. I had to relax before I could enjoy it. Thirty seconds later he was pulsating those three digits inside my ass. I moaned in pleasure.

Following that, the head of his cock moved in easily.

"Yeah. That's it. Fuck me, Trent."

I was ready.

"I have needed you so badly," he said, standing behind me, holding my hips.

His cock slid in, and I accepted it. I usually did the fucking, but Trent was slowly changing me. This position worked for us. We moved together in a good rhythm, not too slow, not too forceful. We were in sync and called out each other's names in our groans.

Trent took his hands off my hips and reached around to my chest. He groped my nipples and then began to feel the chest hair, teasing it, pulling it, toying with it. My hands held the back of the couch.

"You make me feel good, baby," I tenderly said, leaning taller.

"I love fucking you, Mike. I feel so good inside your body," he whispered in my ear as our faces were now closer.

He hugged me from behind as he continued to thrust his hard weapon into my internal holster. Our bodies were pressed together, and he pushed his full length inside me. His balls would swing against my cheeks as he thrust his cock deep inside my ass.

"Unh. Oh, Trent. Unh. Yes," I called out. "Unh. UNGH! Oh, babe, fuck yeah!"

His standing body towered around me. He was fucking me hard. His slick cock moved faster and faster. He was growling now. He pulled me upright and nibbled on my ear, moaning into it at the same time.

"Oh yeah. Fuck me. Fuck me as hard as you can."

We had been needing this. He grabbed my cock. It had lost its hardness, but Trent stroked it to make it fully erect in less than a minute. He was pounding me from the front and the back. He yanked on my rigid flesh.

After a week of going without sex, we should have climaxed sooner, but our stamina was holding. We had been longing for this connection for days — this masculine, passionate bond. Skin against skin, touch on touch, perspiration shared. For several minutes, we stayed just like that — grunting, grinding, groaning, groping ... fucking to the fullest.

His volume was building more. I now recognized when Trent was close to coming. My hand found his and our fingers interlocked. I knew he was seconds from his climax.

"Oh, Mike."

"Yeah, baby. You're there. I want you to come inside me. Fuck me, honey."

He let go of my erection and squeezed my chest. He yelled my name as he shot deep into my body. Our clutched hand squeezed tighter. He pushed his flesh so deep into me. I could tell the orgasm was intense by his tight grip locked around my chest. He pounded my buttocks for quite some time before his strength left him.

I reached for my cock. "Stay inside me," I commanded.

I jerked and yanked on my anatomy. Trent took one hand and wrapped it around my arm. He felt the motion with me.

"Yeah, babe," I said.

I looked to the ceiling and groaned. I shot my first stream of cum onto the couch. And then another. And more. My screaming pulsated with each spasm. Every time I called out, he whispered "yeah" in my ear.

And then we stopped. He pulled his penis from me. I turned around and gave him a huge kiss.

"We really needed that," I said.

"No kidding."

I grabbed the towel and wiped up the result of our lovemaking off the couch.

"I know where the cleaner is," he said, leaving me. Returning with a washcloth and spray cleaner, we took care of the couch.

After we cleaned up, we moved to the bedroom. We watched the news in there as we prepared to fall asleep.

"That was really hot," he said.

"Mm hm."

We didn't say anything while the weather forecast was on.

"How did you learn to have sex?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"How did you get good at it? Does every gay guy know what to do?"

"Heavens, no. You kind of figure your way through it. Which is why it is so impressive that you are so great out of the gate."

"Aw. Thanks. I've just been doing things I've kind of imagined for a while. It makes me feel good. I hope you feel I am a good boyfriend. I just want you to be happy."

"I am."

"I was so worried about accepting I was gay, telling people I was gay, feeling gay ... I never really thought of HOW to be gay. You have made this easy for me, Mike. I really appreciate accepting me not only for who I am but where I am. I'm sure someone with more experience would have been a better fit for you."

"Experience only goes so far. Who the person is makes the most difference. I love our sex life, but the time with you is even better."

He smiled.

We certainly WERE having amazing sex, but that would eventually fade. Would he want it with others? Being new to this, sex was having a significant importance on him coming out. Do the two of us work without sex? If we weren't sleeping together, would we still be a couple? When he came to my classroom to talk, the path we took was exactly how NOT to start a relationship. If it was based on sex, then we're doomed.

I knew my feelings were deep. What about Trent? Is he in love with sex or in love with me? Love?? We're only three weeks into this. Not even that. What was I thinking?

I heard a neighbor's voice. It seemed late for her to call out to someone outside. I realized it was her daughter home from college. I hadn't seen her since the holiday break. That made me realize how my life had become totally upended since the holidays — just since last month! Nothing has been the same since Trent entered my life. I was like a new ... me. I couldn't imagine what it was like for him. The poor guy had just accepted he is gay and then jumped feet first into a relationship with another man. An older man.

Me.

He fell asleep easily. It had been a hard week for him. He was in my arms. I stretched for the remote and turned off the TV. A few weeks ago, I accepted that I would just be a first step on Trent's new path. Now I couldn't bear the thought of him not being a part of my life. If I wasn't able to hold him in my arms, I knew I would be devastated.

I could hear him lightly breathe in his sleep pattern. I leaned to kiss his neck.

"I love you," I whispered.