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"NOOOOO!!!" Brandon yells and runs over to us. "That's my baby brother!!" He then pretends to stab my boyfriend. Wait! Boyfriend?? Jake called me his boyfriend! Jake falls to the Earth by me. I roll over almost on top of him and I try to hide my smile, but I can't.
Chapter 16
Day 8 Part 3 Grayson's POV
"Boyfriend?" I say. "I like the sound of that." Then I kiss him right on the lips. Those soft wonderful lips. Sparks light up the sky and I kiss him again and he moves in for more. After a moment I lay my head on his shoulder and extend my arm across his chest. He flinches. I remembered what happened the last time I touched his chest and I froze.
I look up at him and he said, "It's okay, I trust you and actually - I kinda like having your hand there. I just have to get used to it."
Phew! I look around and see that the brothers are back at the pool. I didn't even hear them get up or anything. I think the just wanted Jake and I to have some alone time. I feel Jake's chest ripple like maybe he was laughing. I turn to him and I see tears in his eyes. I sit up on my elbow and place a hand on his cheek.
"Jake? What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked concerned. He sits up and rubs his eyes.
He looks at me, "There's nothing wrong. In fact, I think this is the happiest I have ever been in my whole life."
He sniffs and then sits up. Another tear falls and I wipe it away, kiss his cheek and hug him. I don't want to let him go so I don't. I rub my hand up and down his back and it is so soft, yet firm and warm. He lets out a little moan so I know he likes it too. He also rubs his hands down my back and man does that feel nice too.
After a couple moments, I say to Jake, "Jake, I have never had a boyfriend before or a girlfriend, but I want this! - Will you be my boyfriend?"
We separate enough to be able to look at each other in the eyes. "I know we just barely met and we don't know each other very well, but I....maybe I'm going too fast. After all, I just barely came out to Brandon and Luke a little while ago and they were the first. But, it feels so right. You feel so right and maybe it's because you are so gorgeous and I can't keep my eyes off of you, and when we kiss I see sparks. We just seem..."
He cuts me off. "Wait! You think I'm gorgeous? Me? I think you are the most gorgeous person I have ever met. I'm okay, but not compared to you. I don't think..." Now it's my turn to cut him off.
"Hey! I don't know what mirror you are using at home, but I think it is broken. Maybe it's one of those mirrors from the fair, but have you really looked at yourself? I think you are perfect. No! You are perfect. So....will you consider being my boyfriend?" I ask hoping for at least a maybe.
He closes his eyes and sniffs. When he opens his eyes, they are full of tears.
"No one has ever told me that I was good looking or even handsome. I've been bullied by my brother and his friends and been made to feel that there was something physically not right with me. I just assumed that the reason nobody wanted to be friends with me is because I was ugly. I usually don't look into the mirror much because I just see a loser looking back at me."
"This is so much for me to take in... it's like it's not real. It's like I'm in a fantasy or dream and I'm gonna wake up and be the pathetic loser I always have been. I've known that I am gay for several years now, but I don't let anyone know because I'm such an outcast as it is.... I just don't want to have people hate me too. Right now, people pretty much leave me alone and I am okay in the shadows."
He grabs my hand and brings it to his face. "Grayson? I don't think I can say yes. I really want to, but I fear that you will come to your senses after a few days or something and I'll be alone again. If I let down my guard.... I... I don't know if I... if I..."
He starts sobbing. I mean, he is really crying and shaking. I take him into my arms again and I just hold him. I don't know what happened to him to have such low self esteem. I just want to love him, but right now I just need to be whatever I need to be to mend...that doesn't sound right. I want to heal his...I don't know. I just want to help. I want to be support for him. I want to protect him.
"It's okay Jake, I understand." I kiss his soft, sweet cheek and look at him in the eyes. Those beautifull eyes that I could just get lost in. I snap out of it.
"Let me rephrase what I asked you. We don't need titles. Here is what I would like. I want to be someone you can trust. I want to be someone that you can be honest with and be able to tell anything to. I want to know you and be your friend. I want to be close to you and hug you, and give you kisses and care for you. If that part is too much, we can keep it to a minimum. But I think you enjoy it too and we can just enjoy being with each other. I won't do anything you are not comfortable with. Okay?"
I lift his chin and say, "Okay?" He nods and I smile.
He regains his composure and says, "Man! I'm really messed up. I'm sorry. I really don't know what you see in me, but if you are willing to be my friend, how could I turn that down?"
I'm a little disappointed when he just says "friend" but he doesn't let me suffer for long and continues saying that when he says friend, he means boyfriend. I get the biggest smile on my face and kiss him right on the lips.
We stand up and he looks at my groin. "You better put that suit back on before I do something I'm not ready to do yet." To be honest, I'm not ready either. I put my suit back on.
We walk over to where Brandon and Luke are lounging by the pool in all their glory and I put my arm around Jake and say, "Hey guys! I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend Jake."
Brandon grunts out a "Yes!!" Then he gives Jake a hug while Luke hugs me.
Luke says, "It's about time. You have known each other for like an hour now. Ha Ha." Then Brandon hugs me and Luke hugs Jake and says how happy he is for the both of us.
Brandon notices that I have my swimming suit on and asks Jake if he wanted Luke and himself to put their suits back on. Jake surprised me by telling him, "Nah, that's okay. I rather enjoy the view."
"It really is a nice view." I say.
Brandon's POV
We play around in the pool for a while. Every once in a while the two love birds stand there with their arms around each other. I say to Luke, "Awe, they look so cute together. I could squeeze their cheeks." That gives me a splash from both boys and Luke chuckles.
I get out of the pool and look at my phone to see what time it is. We still have some time so I order up a couple of pizzas to be delivered. We get out of the pool and put everything back tidy so we can use it again. We go in the house and I suggest we use the `rent's shower to wash the chlorine off because we could all fit in it. It really is amazing. It has shower heads on both sides of the large enclosure and a rain like shower overhead in the middle. It also has these jets that shoot out to message your back too. Luke and I are still naked and I notice that Jake is steeling glances at my junk. I asked him if he was still enjoying the view. He blushed, then quipped that it was such a nice view that it should be on a postcard. I asked him what a postcard was and he just shook his head and chuckled.
Grayson takes his bathing suit off and is rinsing the chlorine out. I hear him tell Jake that he could take his suit off if he wanted and would be okay because we had all already seen him naked at the pool. It was also okay if he didn't. We wouldn't judge him either way. He didn't which was fine by us and when we got out, Grayson put a towel in front of him. He was able to take his suit off without anyone seeing or him having to take his suit off under his towel. Jake thanked him with a peck on the cheek.
We got dry, got dressed and cleaned up the bathroom like we hadn't been there. Our parents don't mind us using their bathroom, or the pool, or whatever, just as long as we have respect and be responsible. It's nice to have their trust.
The pizza came and we ate it in the family room with sodas and made sure we didn't make a mess. I take the plates back into the kitchen and I remember what happened a couple years ago. Once, I left my plates in the family room and I had to only eat at the table for a week. Luke made sure to eat anywhere but the table, unless we had a family meal, just to make fun of me. I'd flip him off and he'd flip me off back. That was back when we hated each other.
I get an ache in the bottom of my stomach and I ask Luke to "come here". He has a questioning look on his face, but comes anyway.
"What's up?" Luke says to me. He can see that I have a sad look on my face. He puts his good hand on my shoulder and says, "Are you okay, Brandon? Did something happen?"
I didn't know what to say, so I just took him in a hug and held on to him. He hugged me back and just waited for me to pull away or answer his questions. I knew I could count on him to make me feel better. With tears in my eyes, I pulled away just enough to look at him in the eyes.
"I just...um...I just had a memory of how awful we used to treat each other. And...and it really hits me in the gut. So much anguish and wasted time..."I trail off.
"Brandon." He said. "You have to stop doing this to yourself. It's over with and done. You can't change the past and the only thing matters is the present. You may have started our feud, but I kept it going too. Now you are the best brother anyone could ever ask for and that will never change between us. Quit punishing yourself! I forgave you and you have forgiven me."
"I know Luke. I just wish I could forget all those things I did to you. I wish" Luke interrupts me again.
"No Brandon, you're doing it again. You need to forgive yourself. You have forgiven me and I have forgiven you. Now, you need to forgive you. Say this to yourself right now; I forgive me. I forgive me! Do it now."
I hesitate and he tells me again to say it now. Okay. I take a big breath... "I...I...I can't." Luke takes me back into a hug, and says into my ear, "Yes you can, Brandon."
He pulls away again to look at me in the eyes. "You feel bad for hurting me and wish you could go back and change it. Well, you are hurting me now. Every time you bring it up, it hurts me. Is that what you want? I want you to be happy and when you hurt, it hurts me too." When he said this, his eyes were full of tears.
Whoa! Wow, that hit me like a ton of bricks. The last thing in the world I want to do is to hurt him again. By holding onto this, I continue to hurt him.
"Oh my gosh, Luke! That is the last thing I ever want to do. - I understand now, and I can do this." I get a rush of, of joy and feel really warm inside. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, "I forgive you, Brandon. I forgive me. I forgive me."
I feel like being in the sun for the first time in a long time. I feel warm and energized and free. That ton of bricks that hit me earlier and another ton of weight just lifted off me. I open my eyes and just beam. I look at Luke, "I'm free and I am forgiven. Thank you, Luke. I love you so much and I am so blessed you are my brother."
I kiss him on the forehead, then I place my forehead on his. I'm looking into those beautiful loving eyes. I can't stop smiling. I feel so clean and happy. I again kiss him on the forehead, then the left cheek, right cheek, and a big brotherly kiss on his lips. I then bring him onto my shoulder and neck and snuggle hug him. Then I hear from the peanut gallery.
"Hey guys!" Grayson shouts. "If you two love birds are done over there, can we watch the rest of the movie?"
I pick up a piece of pizza crust and pretend to throw it at him. He ducks anyway. I would throw it at him, but if it brought on a food fight, Luke and I would be grounded to the table for a month. Even though I am 18, I still live in my parent's home and I am expected to obey their rules and have respect. I laugh at Grayson for ducking and he sticks out his tongue at me. Luke and I join them in the family room and we watch the rest of the movie, Top Gun: Maverick.
Grayson and Jake are practically sitting on top of each other and holding hands the entire time. They look so cute together and I am so happy for both of them. I still can't get rid of my smile.
When the movie was over, I told Jake that I needed to take him home. Grayson and Jake looked at each other like they had lost their puppy. Grayson asked if he could tag along. I said of course, and they gathered up their stuff. I would be dropping off Grayson too after Jake. Luke wanted to stay home and rest, but he did give Grayson and Jake a big hug, kissed their cheeks and told them that he was elated that they had found each other.
The two love birds sat in the back seat so they could hold each other. They might have kissed a couple of times, but mostly they were quiet and cuddling.
At the estate, Jake gets out first and says to me, "Thanks for the ride and everything, `Just Brandon'.
I remembered that I had introduced myself as "just" Brandon. Grayson got out and walked Jake to the door and I gave them a few minutes to themselves. Then Grayson got into the front seat and we drove off.
I was thinking that a lot has happened in the last week and a half, but things were settling down now for me. Being around Grayson and Jake, made me want to call up Jennifer and see if she would like to go out. She's probably already hooked up with someone since she is a real catch. But, it's worth a shot. I'd really like to have a girlfriend.
I look over at Grayson and he is quiet. I put my arm over his shoulder, he looks at me and smiles. "How's it going, Grayson?" I ask.
He chuckles, "I am on cloud nine. Maybe even cloud ten. Which is better?"
I laugh and say, "Number 9, of course. It has a swimming pool, hot tub, and even a bowling alley. Ha Ha." He laughs too.
He gets quiet again. "Everything is going to change now, isn't it?' Grayson says to me. "I don't know if I'm ready to come out of the closet, so to speak. I just barely admitted to myself that I am, ah, that I'm gay. I have to tell my dad, but what do I say? `Dad. I'm gay. Now pass the potatoes?' What if he gets mad and rejects me or throws me out? I am his only child..."
"Grayson!" I cut him off. "Your dad loves you. He may need a little time to process this, but he'll never reject you. You are his son. Jake goes to a different school, so no one has to know about him. School doesn't start for another month or so, so that doesn't have to be decided tonight. Luke and I already knew before you, that you were gay, so nothing changes between us. Just enjoy your time together and keep your PDA's to a minimum when you are out and about if you're not ready to go public. You have our love and support, and what matters most, is that you are happy."
I get to his house and he thanks me. "It's not that I have to tell my dad tonight. I'll just see how it goes. Thanks again, Brandon. You really are like my big brother and I appreciate it."
He leans over and gives me a hug. I kiss his cheek and then he gets out. He waves "good-bye" and I drive home.
At home, I notice that Dad is in his study and I enter. "Hey Dad. Can I talk to you? Is this a good time?"
He gets up and comes over to me and closes the door behind me and motions for me to come in and sit on the couch. "Of course, Son. Come in and sit down. It's always a good time to talk with you." He sits down next to me, puts his arm around my shoulder, pulls me in and kisses my head. He has always kissed my head. "So, tell me what is on your mind." He asks me.
"Dad?" I say. "How well do you know Dr. Heiner? I mean, is he a good guy and a loving father? I know that he is a good provider, but do you think that he is a `dad'? Does he want to be involved in his son's lives or just make sure they make it to 18?"
Dad doesn't answer right away. He looks at me over the rims of his glasses and I can tell that he is thinking about what I asked. I can also tell he is studying me. He stands up and goes to his mini frig and pulls out two bottles of Coke. He likes the bottles from Mexico because they use cane sugar. I think they taste better than out of a plastic bottle or a can. He hands me a Coke and we pop the tops off and take a swig. He sits back down a puts his soda on the coffee table.
"Brandon, I'm wondering why you are asking these questions. You are a very perceptive young man and good at reading people. I think you may have already formed your own opinions. I know him enough that I may be able to fill in the gaps. When Dave got married, he was young and just started his junior year in college. He was pre-med and the classes were hard and he had to study hard. His wife Lori had to drop out of school so she could work full time. After graduation, he went to medical school and she got pregnant with Jon. She could no longer work full time so he worked as much as he could as an orderly at the hospital to make ends meet. Dave studied, went to work and slept. That was his life. That was their life. They did what they had to do to get by but it was hard on their marriage. Then Jacob came along and so his mother in law came and stayed with them for six months to care for Jacob and Jonathan. After a couple of months, Lori was able to go back to working full time with her mother caring for the boys. Dave was able to concentrate on his studies and was able to spend more time home and with the boys."
Dad takes another swig from the Coke and dives right back in. "After his mother in law goes back home, they get a sitter for the boys. They didn't like it, but it had to be done. Dave then graduates and they have to move again and does his residency in Portland Oregon. After four years of him working 12-16 hour days, weekends and holidays, their sacrificed pays off and he becomes a full doctor. He did get a limited salary as an intern so Lori was able to work part time and care more for the boys. They then moved here and he got a very good job at the hospital. By now, both boys had already started school and he hardly knew them. He didn't really know how to be a dad. He wanted to be more involved, but working at the hospital, he missed a lot of school plays, little league, and concerts. The money was great, Lori didn't have to work and they were able to pay back a lot of school loans and live well."
I take another swig of my Coke and say, "If everything was now going so well, why did they get divorced?"
"That's a good question, Brandon." Dad takes another swig of his Coke and continues. "After those difficult 16 years of Dave becoming a doctor, 14 of them being married, it took it's toll on the family. Lori felt she deserved to live the rich life after sacrificing so much for so long, that she spent less and less time at home. The boys had a live in nanny so she could do her thing. Dave and Lori drifted further apart. I think she was resentful that she got married at 20 and basically gave up her life as she knew it. She had to drop out of school and work and raise kids without much help from her husband. When he was home, he was tired. Over the next three years they mostly fought and she said it wasn't worth it and she left him and the boys. She wanted to get her freedom back and explore life that she was robbed of. She traveled the World and met an artsy guy from the UK and they travel a lot and aren't tied down with kids."
"So she just abandoned the boys and took off? Does she ever visit or have contact with them? I'm not very happy with her right now.
Dad finishes his Coke and shakes his head. "She never sees them. She would try to call once in a while but Jonathan was really hostile to her. He was very angry that she abandoned him. He called her every bad word he could think of and she called him a good for nothing, ungrateful little shit. They haven't communicated with each other since. Jacob was more sensitive and wondered if he did something wrong. She will send him an email once in a while and she did call once last year on his birthday."
A couple tears fall down my cheeks. I can't believe a mother would do this. I am so blessed to have a mom and dad like I do. They love each other and they love us. What does Jake and Jon have? A father that they hardly know and a mother that skipped out on them. I can see why Jake is hurt and Jon is hostile.
"Man! That sucks Dad! She just left her kids and never looked back, hardly? What about Dr. Heiner? He seams like a nice guy and all, but he loves his kids, doesn't he?"
Dad takes a deep breath. "Yeah, I know he does, but he hardly knows his kids. He thought that providing for his family and making lots of money was his responsibility. It was Lori's job to assist while he became a doctor and nurture and raise the kids. He liked to be able to pop in at a game or concert and root for his kids. It wasn't his responsibility to make sure they did their homework, chores, cleaned their rooms, and get them where they needed to go. He provided for them. Then when Lori left, he didn't know how to be a father. He needed to be both parents, yet he wasn't even one. For the last couple of years he has tried, but when you were never there for your kids, it's hard to connect. Especially being teenagers now. He knew the boys didn't get along, but he thought that he'd let them figure it out. When he met us, he was in shock. You took such good care of Luke that he could see what was missing with his sons. He was so impressed with you, Brandon. Then he saw how your mother, Chrissy and I interacted with one another, that he saw how much was lacking at his home. He saw how you guys loved each other, and how you respected us and wasn't afraid to show love either. He wanted to know what the secret was. He asked me a ton of questions and I gave my opinions and guidance."
"Ha Ha Dad. I knew those words that Dr. Heiner spoke the other night were very familiar. I could tell that you were coaching him. It was good for Jon to see his dad take charge. He was so confused by his words. He didn't think his dad would follow through though. He was probably just showing off for your sake and he would tire from it all and things would just go back to normal. He enjoys doing what he wants, and when he wants to do it. They have a maid and doesn't have to do chores like his other less fortunate friends. He likes to show off to them by talking down to Jake and their dad. He says that he rules the castle, and his friends wish they could do the same. So dad, if Dr. Heiner is going to follow through, he will have to be consistent, not flexible, and outlast Jon. Jon needs structure. But the real challenge will be with Jake."
Dad shoots his eyebrows up. "Jacob? Really? He seams like a really good kid; doesn't get into trouble or cause trouble. Tell me your thoughts, Son. You seem to know more than I do."
I stand up and walk around the room gathering up my thoughts. I ask Dad if I can get another soda. He says that I can and asks for me to get him another one too. Usually our talks are one soda talks, this talk is two or more. I give him his soda and we open them up, and I take a big gulp of mine. I burp and he laughs and says that I need to slow down on the fizz. I sit back down next to him.
"Jake is hurting Dad. He is an emotional wreck, well maybe not a wreck but he has several serious issues. For starters, he doesn't have any friends. Kids at school either pick on him or ignore him. He spends all of his time in his bedroom and tries to stay away from his brother. His mother left him, his brother bullies him, his dad ignores him. He feels that his dad doesn't support him or has his back either. The only one that seams to care about him is the maid and that is probably her job."
"Huh," Dad says while stroking his chin. "I know Dave would like to be more involved with Jacob. He is seeing that the years are passing by quick and is scared that he hasn't been a good enough father. Can you tell me more about Jacob? Does he want a relationship with his dad? I can talk to Dave, but I'd like to know what he wants. What are your insights?"
"Luke has spent a lot more time with Jake, while I have spent more time with Jon. Luke is really being a true friend to Jake and he is really touched. There is so much you need to know and I hope you can help with Dr. Heiner because this is going to need all of our help. I guess I should back up and give you a little history. This is going to make you mad, so please bare with me."
I told Dad about what happened to Jake in front of Jon's friends. How they made fun of him by taking his shirt off and how they stripped him and Jon didn't come to his aid, but started it. He was humiliated and how hurt he was by this. I told him that he has a very low self image of himself and how afraid he was to go without his shirt. Dad didn't say anything up to this point, but I could tell he was not happy. His face was getting red but I had to continue. I told him that when Jake went to his dad, he brushed it off and sided with Jon and said, boys will be boys.
"He has major trust issues, Dad. His brother should be protecting him, instead of instigating harassment. His dad should have listened to him and made sure this didn't happen again. There were no consequences on Jon's part and Jake lost trust in his dad. He knew he couldn't trust those who he was closest to. He has pretty much isolated himself from everyone."
I decided to stop at that point to give Dad a moment. His face got so angry that it scared me. I have never seen him look like this. He paces around for a few moments doing a lot of scratching.
"Thank you Brandon, for bringing this to my attention. I feel in my heart that Dave wants to do better at being a father. I know he feels bad for not taking more of an active roll in being a dad. I think had he realized what was going on under his nose, that he would have done things differently. I am going to have a serious conversation with him and he better step up and make this right. Poor Jacob! That poor kid."
A tear drops down Dad's cheek and then another. His demeanor has changed from angry to sad. I take this as a clue and I go to my dad and place my hand on his shoulder. He looks at me and takes me into a hug. He just holds me for a couple of minutes. He pulls away and sits down on the couch. I can tell that he has regained his composure.
Dad looks at me. "This is probably not an isolated incident of abuse and neglect. I hope it hasn't gone too far. Thank you and Luke for being his friend. You two are very trustworthy and loyal young men. Your examples will go far with helping Jacob deal with his issues. I'm sure you two are on top of this. Is there anything else I should know at this point before I talk to Dave?"
I raise my eyebrows and say, "Ah, yes, there is another issue that I need to bring up as long as you don't bring it up to Dr. Heiner until you are sure he is ready to hear it. Dad..... Jacob is gay. He knows that if his brother finds out, he'll make Jake's life a living hell. He doesn't know how his dad will react and doesn't really want to find out. He already lost his mom and if his dad rejects him..... I don't want to think about what would happen."
"I see." Dad says. "Well, rest assured that if Dave is stupid enough to kick him out, he'll have a place with us. You needn't worry about that. But I don't think that Dave would, but I'll feel him out. I really think that Dave wants to be apart of his kids lives and I just hope it isn't too late. You have given me a lot to think about Brandon. I'll see if he is up for a game of golf or something tomorrow."
Dad and I get up for I can tell that I have done all I can with Dad. I need to have a convo with Jon, though I'm not looking forward to that. I'll have to resist the urge to kick him in the nuts.
"Son." Dad says. "In case I haven't mentioned it lately, you are an amazing young man. I am so very proud of you... your mother and I love you very much." He hugs me tight and then tells me to go hug my mother. I do what he asked.
I walk into my bedroom and I see Luke is reading and I just flop onto the bed. That talk with Dad wore me out. With all the events of the day, I think I could sleep for two days. Luke came over to me and placed his hand on my back. "How did your talk with Dad go? Is he going to talk to Dr. Heiner?"
I roll over onto my back and I stretch out my arms inviting Luke to snuggle up to me. He gladly does and I tell him that Dad is going to have a talk with him.
"I got to know more about the family situation over there and their family is pretty messed up. Dad is sure that Dr. Heiner will make amends and try hard to be a good father. Hopefully, it won't be too late. I'm also going to have to speak to Jon about how he has treated Jake."