This fictional story is about an 18 year old that just spent his senior year of High School in France, and has returned home to make peace with his estranged brother. He does talk about some of his experiences in France that may or may not be culturally correct. There is plenty of nudity but no sex is involved.
Day 1
Brandon has just spent the last year as a foreign exchange student to France. He had graduated as a senior at a lycée, their version of a high school. He had lived in Gometz-le-Châtel, a suburb south of Paris. He had a wonderful time there learning French, eating french food, and living with a french family. They had two sons: Andres was his age, 17, and the other was Sébastien age 14. What was weird is that that is the same age difference between him and his own brother Luke.
When Brandon had left a year ago, he was happy to be away from his pain in the butt brother Luke. They got along really well when they were kids, but in the teen years, they were like oil and water. Toothpaste and orange juice. While in France, Brandon started to miss his little brother, and he wanted things to be different when he returned home.
Brandon had always been close to his parents and sister Chrissy. They met him at the airport and they all gave him lots of hugs and kisses and he gave all of them kisses on both cheeks. Chrissy even gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He then looked around and said, "So, where is Luke?" He was hoping that his brother would also be there. Even though he didn't leave on good terms with Luke, Brandon had hoped that he would be there to greet him. After all, it had been a year since he left.
Chrissy was first to speak. "Oh, he's home playing video games."
Then Brandon's mom, Marie chimed in, "We tried to get him to come, but he wasn't interested. We didn't want to force him to come."
"Oh." Brandon said a little disappointed.
Brandon's dad, Kevin, placed a reassuring hand on Brandon's shoulder. "I'm sure he'll be glad to see you when we get home." Brandon just nodded his head hoping it was so.
They then went to retrieve the luggage. While waiting for his bags, Chrissy gives Brandon another big hug. "I'm so glad to have you home. I missed you bunches." Being ten years old, Chrissy only came up to the middle of Brandon's chest. So he reached down to hug her and picked her up to his level with her legs dangling almost two feet off the ground.
He looked into her eyes, "I missed you too bunches". He then gave her a long hug. He felt a lot better now and had warmth in his heart.
After about 30 seconds, he broke the hug but didn't put her down. Their eyes met and he said, "I also love you bunches," and out of instinct he kissed both cheeks and then on the lips. She pulled back with a surprised look on her face. His eyes got wide and he realized what he had done.
He put her down and said, "Oops, sorry Chrissy. In France everyone kisses everyone on the cheeks and mouth in the family. It doesn't matter if it is your mom, dad, sister, brother, aunts, uncles or grandparents. It's like hugging here in America."
Brandon saw that his parents were also surprised by his act of expression. He started talking to all of them.
"You could imagine my surprise when I first met my "French Family" and the mom, dad and brothers all kissed both my cheeks. Knowing that I was an American, they didn't kiss me on the lips. The French are really affectionate and the families are really tight knit. Andres was my age and it startled me most that he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheeks. I tried not to act weird about it because I had studied about France before I left and had read about their culture. Still, I didn't kiss them back."
Brandon finally retrieved all his luggage and they walked to the car. Kevin grabbed the suitcases which fortunately had wheels, and Brandon threw his duffle bag over one shoulder. Marie put her arm around her son's waist and Brandon put his arm around his mother as they walked to the car. She was so happy her eldest son was home at last.
Brandon had a long day. He got to the Charles de Gaulle airport at 9am and shared farewells with his host family. They all gave hugs, kisses on both cheeks, another hug then a simple kiss on the lips. Even Andres and Sébastien kissed him. After going through customs and such, the plane took off right at noon. Paris is 7 hours ahead of them (CST) and with about an 8 hour flight, going through customs and getting his luggage, it was about 2:30pm now. Brandon got in the back seat and Chrissy slid up right next to her big brother. Kevin maneuvers through the airport roads and is finally on the highway to go home. It's another 35-40 minutes home.
Marie turns in her seat to ask Brandon about his flight and he was fast asleep. Jet lag had caught up with him. She looked at her sleeping boy. Even though he was now 18, he'd always be her baby. She always liked to watch her children sleep and this was no exception.
When they arrived home, Kevin noticed that his son was still asleep. So he reached into the back seat and patted Brandon on the knee. "Brandon! We're home Son."
Brandon woke up in a stupor, and it took a moment for him to get his bearings straight. He would have slept right there for another couple hours. Everyone was getting out, that is except for Brandon. He was stretching and wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He staggered while getting out of the car, still half asleep.
Brandon notices that his brother Luke is shooting baskets. His hair is longer and he must've grown six inches. Wow, what a change.
Brandon's POV
He just made another basket. Wow! He has improved. My first time seeing him in a year and I'm a bit nervous. How will he react to me? I have changed a lot this last year too.
When I left, he told me, "good riddance"! I said, "Right back atcha, loser!" Then I put the L sign on my forehead.
He bugged the hell out of me. He had no boundaries. He would constantly go through my stuff and use things without my permission. He would ease-drop on my conversations with my friends. He was an embarrassment when I had visitors. He was always up in my business. I didn't have to tell him what I was doing and who I was doing it with. He is not my dad, for heaven's sake. He was also very manipulative.
One time, a girl that I liked was over at the house to get a copy of my history and chemistry notes, for she had missed a number of days at school when her aunt died. Her name was Jennifer and I liked her. I offered to share my notes, to get her to visit me. When ever I had a girl over, Luke would act like the adorable little brother. Today was no different. He was polite and told her that she was really pretty. He even pretended that we were really close. I have to tell you, his is smooth, but still, it was all a show.
I got up the courage to ask her if she would like to go bowling with me that afternoon. I had asked around and I knew she really liked bowling. Luke was (always) close enough to hear. He said, "Oh, are you guys going to go bowling? I love to go bowling." Then he looked at her with those puppy dog eyes and said, "Can I go with you? Pleeeease? No one has taken me in a long time... but if this is a date then I'll understand."
He then looks back and forth at us waiting for an answer. What am I supposed to say? I can't believe he put me on the spot like this! I'm not even sure he likes bowling. Dammit! I don't want to confess that this is a real date, or thump his head and yell at him in front of her making me look like a jerk. So, I look at Jennifer and shrug. I'm hoping she tells him no. She also shrugs and then says, "Sure. Why not? It'll be fun".
That night, I gave him a piece of my mind and told him that if he ever did that to me again.... There would be hell to pay!
In France, Andres asked me how I got along with my brother. I told him about what happened with Jennifer, and how mad I was at him. I thought Andres would have taken my side. He said, "Maybe Luke just wanted to spend some time with his big brother and it was the only way for it to happen. Did you ever go out with him to the bowling alley, miniature golf, movies or just go for a walk, or a bike ride together?"
"Of course not! Why would I want to spend my free time with that pain in the ass? I saw too much of him already at home and having to share a room with him... don't get me started. Who's side are you on, anyway?"
Andres was really good at English. Last year, he had been a foreign exchange student to a family in California. Even though I was fairly new to French, I could speak freely to him.
Andres scowled at me for a moment. "I'm not on anyone's side! I don't even know Luke and haven't known you for very long. I'm just trying to understand here. Look, I have a brother the same age and sometimes younger brothers can act immature and can be a little annoying."
"But" I interject, "you and Sébastien seem to get along really well?"
"Yes, we do. He is my best friend, my brother and I truly love to spend as much time with him as I can. It wasn't always like that, though it was never as bad as with you and Luke. I took him for granted being there. Then I went to California and missed him so much. Everyday for a month I would go home and want to tell him what I had learned, or experienced that day. Then I'd realize he wasn't there."
I then questioned him. "You didn't like being an exchange student? Did you not have a good host family?"
"No, no, no!" He said. "Don't get me wrong. I loved spending a year in California and learning all your customs, food, and I got really good at speaking English. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. This is one reason why my family wanted to be a host family."
I sat down on the couch since I could see this conversation was not going to end soon. Andres sat next to me.
He continues. "Anyway, I realized how much Sébastien meant to me and I was never going to take him for granted again. I have one year left of school and then maybe off to the University. I will never have this time with him again."
Right then, Sébastien comes in and asks Andres in French what we were talking about. Andres stands and puts his arm around his brother and later Andres confirmed what he had said.
He turns to Sébastien and looks him in the eyes. "We were talking mostly about what a wonderful brother you are and that you are my best friend. I truly love you more than I can say."
Sébastien gets a little tear in his eye and takes his brother into a tight hug. He then says to Andres, "Je t'aime aussi, mon frère." I know what that means... "I love you too, my brother." They part and look at each other and share a simple kiss on the lips. Hug once again and another kiss. Then Sébastien leaves.
I think, "What the heck was that?" Andres sees my bewilderment and says, "I know that in America this would be taboo, but here it is a sincere expression of admiration to a family member or close friend. I never got used to how Americans are so physically distant to one another. It's like you're going to catch a disease. My host parents would let me give them a kiss on the cheek and sometimes they would give their kids a kiss on the forehead or cheek, but never in front of people."
I snap out of it when I hear Luke make another basket. Looking at him, something came over me and my heart felt warm. I was happy to see my brother. I really would like to have a little of what Andres and Sébastien had.
I walk up to where Luke is and he stops what he is doing and looks at me without any expression. "Hey Luke. You're getting really good at that and wow, you've grown."
I then give him a quick hug and he doesn't hug me back, but at least he doesn't push me away. Then I walk away and into the house. My mom is first to greet me.
"Would you like me to make you a sandwich, sweetie?
"Nah" I said. "I'm just going to lay down for a while. Je suis épuisé."
I kiss my mom on both cheeks, then I drag myself down to my room. When I enter, I notice that it has been totally rearranged. I can't tell which bed is mine, so I just take the closest one and kick off my shoes, shirt and pants and fall onto the bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out like a light.
"Hey stupid! Yo, estupido!"
I barely wake up hearing Spanish. What the heck. I then realize that I'm in my old room at home.
"You're on my bed, Moron! Mom told my to wake you up. It's time for dinner."
I realize that was Luke. His voice is lower than I remember. And why did he call me a moron? Whatever! I stretch and head to the dinner table. Everyone is waiting for me.
"Nice choice in dinner attire there, Son." Said my dad.
I look down and realize that I'm just wearing my Le Slip Français boxer shorts and socks. Modesty in France is a lot different than here in the states, especially at home. Gometz-le-Châtel never did get very hot, even in the summer. Even so, Andres and Sébastien just wore their underwear when they got ready for the night, or when they had breakfast. If school was out, sometimes they never did get dressed.
I was really surprised one afternoon after Sébastien had played football (soccer) and was hot and sweaty. His mom had him take a shower. Andres and I were in the bedroom listening to some music and Sébastien comes in and is drying himself off. He was naked and couldn't care less. Then his mom comes in and tells him to go get his dirty clothes off the floor in the bathroom and take them to the laundry. He is still drying himself off in front of her and says, "Bien!" (Fine!) He walks past her and gets his dirty uniform and takes it to the laundry. He must have left his towel there because when he came back he was without it.
"So what are you guys listening to?" Sébastien asks in french as he sits down next to us on the floor. I am bewildered by his lack of modesty. Andres acts like it happens all the time. It's not like he is a little kid, he's 14. Andres sees that I am a little uncomfortable and he tells me in English, "You Americans are so hung up on nudity. It's normal in a family. Just wait til we take you to the beach. We all go nude."
"What? Even your parents?" I try to say in a forced whisper.
He nods. I shake my head. "No way! Not me! No way!!"
He laughs. "It's okay. We understand. We won't try to make you do anything you're not comfortable with."
Meanwhile, back at the ranch... I go to the dinner table in just my underwear and my dad kids me about my dinner attire. I just laugh and say, "Well, just like they say, `When in France, do as the French'".
Luke just rolls his eyes and I say, "You Americans are so hung up on modesty".
Chrissy speaks up. "You all ate in your underwear?"
"Ha Ha. Sometimes, yeah. It didn't happen all the time though. I was caught off guard when my french brothers would just wear underwear after a bath if anything at all, and only put clothes back on if they were going someplace, especially in summer. Now pass the potatoes."
Dad gets a smirk on his face and asks if I ever went to one of the nude beaches. I must've turned 5 shades of red. Luke starts laughing, "You did? Oh my gosh! You did!" He almost spits out his potatoes. I didn't answer, but I think my face answered for me. I quickly asked my mom, "So how was your day, Mom?"
She was just as happy as I was to change the subject. She made sure not to leave out any details up to when they picked me up at the airport. I then commented on how good the fried chicken was and that it was nice to eat it without the feet attached. I heard a few gasps around the table.
"My French brother Sébastien was your age Luke. There we were, all eating dinner and I had finished eating the drumstick and he asked why I wasn't eating the best part. I looked at the foot and hoped he wasn't talking about that. Then he went to town munching on his chicken's foot. I retched a little and lost my appetite. He nibbled around to toes..." Then I hear Mom retch. I start laughing, and then I continue.
"Anyway, Andres asked, `If you're not going to eat it, can I have it?'"
"I shook my head `NO!' not daring to speak or I would have thrown up. Then he took the leg off of my plate and started gnawing on the fleshy part of the foot and Sébastien was using one of the toe nails to use as a toothpick."
Luke then throws his chicken leg down on the plate and starts gagging. He gets up and starts running to the bathroom. You could hear him retching as he was running. At this point I am laughing hysterically to the point I was crying. Dad starts laughing, Chrissy has a disgusted look on her face and Mom gets up to see if Luke is okay. I stop laughing after a minute and wipe my eyes. I then hear Luke retching in the bathroom and I start laughing again. This time dad is just shaking his head.
After a couple of minutes, Luke comes back in looking white as a sheet and Mom has her arm around his shoulders. He looks at me and says, "You jerk!"
I'm not going to let this one go, so I look at him, bring my pinky up to my teeth and use the nail to pick at my teeth like Sébastien did with the chicken's toe nail. Luke scrunches up his nose and runs again to the bathroom gagging all the way. I'm laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. "I can't breathe! Ha ha! I can't breathe!!...Ohhh, Ha ha."
Finally I stop and am worn out. It was just like I ran a 100 meter race. I just kept panting. This time Luke didn't come back. I said, "Cool. More for me." Then I grabbed another piece of chicken and put it on the plate but didn't have the strength to eat it yet. Mom doesn't know what to say. She is just shaking her head with a hint of a smile in the corners of her mouth.
When she got done, she stood and looked at me, "You got dishes tonight, young man. And put on some pants, will ya?"
I smiled and said, "Sure Mom".
I went to my room to get a pair of shorts and I saw Luke lying down on the bed with his back towards me. I put on a pair of running shorts and sit down on the other bed. Luke looks up at me and puts his head back down on the pillow.
"I'm sorry Luke. If it makes you feel any better, I had the same reaction over there except I had it worse."
Luke looks up at me, "You did? How could it have been even worse than what I went through? I puked twice and I don't ever want to eat another piece of chicken ever again!"
I smile. "Well, for me, I never made it to the bathroom. I couldn't make it so I just barfed into my shirt."
Luke now sits up. "Really? Did it get all over the floor?"
"No, it was trapped in my shirt and started running down my pants and into my underwear. I got to the bathroom before it got messy and my host mother, Antoinette, was right behind me and guided me into the shower. Then she started taking off my clothes."
Luke now has a smirk on his face. "Then what happened."
I feel my face get a little warmer. "She helped my get out of my shirt and she said the pants too. I hesitated so she starts unbuckling my pants for me. To get her to stop, I tell her that I have to take my shoes and socks off first. I do and notice that I got barf in my shoe too. I hand her the shoes and socks and she sticks her hand out indicating that she wants my pants too."
Now Luke really has a smile on his face and is leaning toward me, not wanting to miss a single detail. "So what did you do?"
"What could I do? If I didn't do it fast, I knew she would take them off for me. So I take `em off and give her my pants and she is still standing there with her hand out."
"Are you serious?" Luke says in anticipation.
I say, "French mothers are sweet and loving, but they can be very stern and you don't tell them, No! So I look down at my underwear and then look up and I see Sébastien and Andres standing in the open door with wide smiles."
"No way!" Says Luke.
"Yup. What can I do? She says in French, `you don't have anything I haven't seen, now off they go'. So I pull them off and hand them to her and the boys are struggling not to laugh. I cover myself with my hands and I expect her to leave me to my misery. But No! She sits the clothes down and turns on the water and grabs the shower wand and starts hosing me off!!"
Luke starts laughing his head off.
"She puts shampoo in my hair and is rubbing it in. I'm still covering myself. She doesn't care. She then grabs a wash cloth and starts soaping up my back and arms and then she tells me to lift my arms so she can clean my pits. What the heck. So I lift my arms and notice that I am starting to chub up."
Now Luke is roaring on the floor. He grabs his stomach because it hurts to laugh. "You're killing me dude."
I continue anyway. "She washes my chest and then has me turn around. Thank goodness. She washes my back and legs and then my butt. Even my crack!!"
Luke is now trying to hold his stomach with one hand and try to cover his ears with his other. "Please! I'm begging you!! You're killing me!!"
I am not detoured. "She turns me around and I am in full bone. Hard as a rock, pointing due North. I am blushing from my head down to my toes. She sees my embarrassment and says, `Don't worry honey. It's perfectly normal for a boy your age.' Then she soaps up my junk and I'm about ready to lose it. The brothers are now ROFL for real."
Luke has stopped laughing and has his mouth open to the floor. This has got to be a joke he is thinking.
"I quickly turn to the wall in the nick of time and I shoot my jizz all over the wall. I'm panting like crazy and she waits for me to settle down. `Are you feeling better now, honey?' she says. I don't say anything. She just washes my private (not anymore) area again but I'm back to soft size now. She rinses me off and even the wall. How embarrassing. She pulls me out and dries me off from head to toe. Then she grabs the dirty clothes and walks out leaving me fully nude without a towel with the boys in the doorway."
Luke says, "Man, I guess you really had it worse than me. If mom or another lady did that to me... I would've died for sure."
"So at that point, all modesty went out the window and there was no need to cover up. Everyone has seen everything in every state. So I just walked out with what was left of my dignity and the boys followed me to the bedroom."
I was expecting Andres and Sébastien to give me a ribbing, but they don't. Andres looks at the clock and then at Sébastien and says, "It's getting late. Let's go take our showers." They both head toward the bathroom. I'm thinking, "There's only one bathroom, how are they both.... Oh! I just have to say, `Welcome to France'".
Now I hear Mom yelling, "Brandon? Dishes!"
"Oh crap! I almost forgot that Mom wants me to do the dishes. I better scoot." I head for the door and turn and say, "I hope you feel better, Luke".
"Sorry Mom". I say as I head towards the kitchen. "I was just checking in on Luke".
"I heard you two laughing your heads off in there. Is he doing OK?"
"He'll be fine. Though he might have pulled a muscle laughing so hard." I laugh.
Mom stands up and gives me a hug and says, "It warms my heart to hear you two laugh again. It really bothered me that you two didn't get along all these years."
"I know Mom." I say with regret and shake my head. "I wasted so much time fighting with Luke when we should have been friends, having each other's back, being brothers. It's all my fault. I was the older brother! I was soo stupid."
She puts her hand on my cheek. "It's wasn't all your fault, dear. Luke wasn't innocent in all of this. So what changed for you?"
"When I was in France, I saw how Andres and Sébastien got along. They were the same age difference as Luke and I, and were the best of friends too. At first I thought it was weird and told Andres so. He asked how I got along with my brother. He got an ear full. I told him how annoying he was and how manipulative I thought he was. I even told him that I hated being around him and what a pain in the rear he was. I was happy to be away from him for a year and I was sure he felt the same way. I hated that I had to share a room with him too."
I sit down on the couch and Mom follows.
I continue. "I watched how Andres and Sébastien got along. If Sébastien was sitting on the couch watching the TV, Andres would sit down right next to him even though there was plenty of room. He'd then often put his arm around his younger brother and Sébastien would snuggle up to him. I remember one time they were wrestling over the remote or something and something interesting came on the TV and they stopped right then and there. Andres would be on his back trying to see the TV upside down and Sébastien would be part on the couch and half on top of his brother. They just stayed that way. For a couple of minutes they didn't move. Then they started wrestling some more and Andres would ruffle Sébastien's hair and they would laugh. They liked to be with each other. They had fun with each other."
"Another time, Sébastien was upset because a girl he really liked didn't want to go out with him. She was pretty mean to him. Andres was the first person he told and Andres just hugged him and Sébastien cried on his shoulder. He kissed Sébastien on the forehead several times and then told him, "I know it hurts now, but if she doesn't want to go out with you, then she is the one who loses. You are the most wonderful human being I've ever met. You are sweet and kind and a pretty good looking kid. I bet in a couple of years she is going to kick herself in the butt for turning you down. You deserve so much better than her. I'll bet, there is another girl that you know at school that would be thrilled if you asked her out."
Sébastien looked into Andres' eyes and asked, "Do you really think so."
"I know so." Said Andres.
"Then he kissed his head, lips and both cheeks, and back into a hug until Sébastien pulled away. They did this right in front of me and they didn't mind. There was a genuine brotherly love between them."
Sébastien looks at me and says, "This is the best brother in the World." Andres then looks at me pointing to Sébastien and says, "Actually, this is the best brother in the World." He tussles his hair and Sébastien scoots away smiling.
"That is so sweet!" Mom says and then asks, "Did they have friends of their own?
"Oh yeah." I said. "They had lots of friends. But what was really neat is that they were friends with each other's friends too. If one of Andres' friends came over and he wasn't there, they would hang out with Sébastien playing video games or what ever. Everyone was included including me. They accepted me as their brother and friend. Both of their friends made me their friend. It made me feel like I was really wanted. It felt so good! It's hard to fully say how I felt. It was so foreign to me yet it felt so right. I have never had so many friends in the World."
"I remember that when they were away from each other for what ever reason, when the other came in the door, they were met by the other and they would hug and kiss each other on both cheeks and sometimes on the lips. It didn't matter if they had friends over or not. They would still have their arms around each other as they walked away telling each other what had gone on while they were apart. I couldn't believe it."
"Andres told me that they were always close, but not this close. You see, Andres was a foreign exchange student two years ago and lived in California. It was the first time he and his brother were apart. He loved the experience, but hated to be away from his brother. He really missed him. He said that he took his brother for granted. He told me that when he returned, he would cherish every moment he had with Sébastien. I can attest that every moment they shared was quality time."
"Andres was also and exchange student?" asked Mom.
"Yeah. Andres had been in America the year before I arrived in France and had only been home for a couple months before I came. He understood the American culture and he knew that I would find their customs weird and he needed to be patient. He didn't tell me, he showed me by example. I couldn't be convinced, I had to feel it. I came around and loved the closeness of the family and also friends."
"Mom? You and Dad sacrificed a lot to give me this experience. I can never repay you. I need you and Dad to know that I love you two so much. I'll never be embarrassed to express my love to you, no matter who is around me. I also want what Andres and Sébastien have. They showed me what brotherly love is. I long to share that with Luke. He is my only brother and I, and I..." I get a lump in my throat and it is hard to speak... "I love him, Mom. I really do. I need him to know that too, but I don't want to rush things. I don't want to scare him off or think I'm putting on a show for some reason. He acted the way he did because I ignored him. Andres helped me to understand that he wanted me to pay attention to him. Bad attention is better than no attention. I said some really bad things that hurt him. It was really bad. I didn't want anything to do with him after that. I can't take back those years. I so wish I could. But I get to decide how I act from now on."
This whole time, Mom has just been listening and letting me talk. She has been sitting next to me with a loving smile on her face. Unbeknownst to me, Luke has been standing in the hallway for I don't know how long.
"Mom? How do I let him know how I feel about him? How do I gain his trust? I know I don't deserve it. I have been so horrible to him." I can't control my emotions anymore. I am now trying to talk through my tears.
"Will he ever forgive me? I have caused him such unhappiness. (sob) I just love him so much and want him to be happy. I don't want to mess things up again.... Will he accept me? Will he turn me away and maybe he should because I don't deserve it. How can I..."
I take my face into my hands. I hear a voice behind me. I look up as Luke is walking toward me. He has tears in his eyes and a broad smile on his face. I didn't know he was there.
"Why don't you just ask him." Luke says.
Mom gets up and says, "I'll leave you two alone to talk. I'll take care of the dishes".
I am so startled by Luke being there that I can't speak. I wasn't expecting to do this now. Now it's all on the line. I'm all exposed like that time in the shower. I got through that and I'll get through this, I hope.
Again Luke asks but in a softer voice, "Just ask me, Brandon".
I can't look at him. I am too ashamed. Maybe if I ask him for another chance, he'll tell me "too late, butt wipe. I've moved on. I don't want you for a brother anymore. Go to Hell!" That would devastate me. Is he asking so he can put me down or he wants us to be brothers again? He didn't come to the airport, he called me stupid in two languages and called me a moron, then a jerk. He didn't show any emotion when I gave him a hug. That was just a few hours ago. We did have a good laugh in the bedroom a little while ago and it seamed like we were getting along.
"How long were you standing there?" I asked Luke timidly. I'm still not looking at him.
Luke says, "I walked in right when you sat down with Mom." He hesitated then asked, "Did you really mean what you said? --- Were you sincere?...I need to know, because it you're not....?"
I look into his eyes and I can see a sparkle of hope. I can also sense hesitation in his voice. I can feel that he was hurt by me before and is worried that he'll be hurt again. The tears start to flow and I can't stop them.
"Oh Luke."
I stand and take him into a loving hug. I'm afraid that he might reject me. He slowly puts his arms around me too and I can hear him sniff. Without having a shirt on, I can feel his heart beating fast. For me, I'm feeling nothing but love for Luke right now and I hope he can feel it too.
"I meant every word I said and a lot more."
He tightens his embrace. I didn't realize that he had grown to just a few inches shorter than me. We were basically cheek to cheek. I turned my head and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He didn't pull away and say `Gross!' like I had feared.
"I'm very sorry that I was an ass to you Luke. I was a horrible big brother."
I pull away enough so that I can look into his eyes.
"If you give me a chance, I'll prove to you that I can be the brother that you deserve....and you deserve to have the best. I...I...(I don't know what to say. Yes I do!) I love you Luke. I really do. Please forgive me."
He looks away, then back to me. He has a hint of a smile, then it turns into a grimace like he is remembering how mean I was. But then it turns into a smile. I can almost hear the gears moving in his mind.
"If you reject my apology, I'll understand. But I'll never stop trying to gain your trust, to be a good brother, to have your back. Even if you tell me that you hate me, I will still love you. I want this and I hope you do too. Let's not waste any more time and be brothers again."
This time Luke takes me into a hug. My heart is warmed. I look over Luke's shoulder and I see Mom just outside of the kitchen with a hand over her mouth trying not to make a sound to interrupt the mood. She sees me and puts both hands over her heart.
I say, "You can come in here now Mom."
Luke turns to see Mom. She comes in all teary eyed and says, "Oh my boys!"
She first hugs Luke and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Then she hugs me and we kiss each other on the cheek and I kiss her once on the lips. I hadn't done that since I was ten. She knew the French custom, but I think she was a little hoping yet surprised and happy I did. We group hug and Dad comes into the room, stops, then asks, "Can I get in on this too?"
We welcome him in and he hugs us all.
Whoa. Jet lag just hit me like a ton of bricks. I can barely keep my eyes open even though I had a couple naps today. It's also been emotionally exhausting today. What happened today with Luke and I, I thought that it would take weeks or a month or longer to accomplish. I am so happy. I want to call up Andres and tell him `thank you' and let him know about me and Luke. I won't be able to thank him enough. I'll try though.
"All of a sudden, I am so tired that I may faint." I say as I try to take myself to the couch. I am staggering and I can't even keep my eyes open.
Mom grabs Dad's arm, "Kevin! You and Luke take Brandon to his bed before he ends up on the floor." She commands.
I can barely move my feet and they are patient with me. We get to our room and Dad holds me while Luke pulls the covers down. Dad is more than holding me, he is hugging me. I open my eyes and look at him.
"I love you, Dad."
He smiles. "I love you too, Son."
He and Luke then lower me to the bed and tuck me in. All I had on was a pair of shorts and underwear, so I didn't need any prep for bed. I think I might have fallen asleep before my head hit the pillow.
I don't think that I moved a muscle all night because I was so stiff all over. I open my eyes and I see Luke staring down at me. He looks really angry.
"Why did you have to come back, you bastard! My life has been so great this last year without having you around! Now it sucks again!!
I can't believe what I am hearing. We had a long talk last night and I thought we were going to try to be brothers again. I apologized and wanted to make amends. We hugged! We connected. I don't understand this. Yet I know that I deserve this. I have the worst pain in my stomach. Still, I sit up in bed.
"Luke? What happened? I meant what I said last night. I am so sorry for treating you bad. I have changed and I want to make this up to you."
He laughs, "Ha! Yeah, right! You're so full of crap! Do you really think that I am that stupid? Do you think that you can just waltz back into my life and say `sorry' and everything is fine? You must think I am such an idiot!"
"I don't think that you are stupid, Luke." I say with a quivering voice. "You are a great guy. A smart and feeling guy that had the misfortune of having me as a brother. I did you wrong and I am so sorry. I love you, Luke. I...."
`SMACK!' He just slapped me across the face and is pointing at me. "How dare you!!! You filthy piece of Shit!! I can't believe that you would say that to me....and just for the record, I effing hate you!! I hate you! I hate you!!"
"Luke! No! No! Luke, Please! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm..."
"Well, wake up and smell the coffee!... Wake up Brandon! ...Wake up Brandon!"
Everything is blurry and starting to come back into focus. Luke is hovering over me, yet there is no anger in his eyes. But he is shaking me.
"Brandon! Are you okay? It's just a dream...are you awake? Brandon?"
Luke sits on my bed and puts his arm around me. "It's okay now, Brandon. It's over now."
"A dream?" I say. "It was all a dream? But it felt so real!" I feel my face where I was slapped. "It was so real."
I bring my knees up to my chin and I am holding my legs and I am rocking back and forth. "It was so real".
Mom and Dad come into the room. They must have heard me yelling. Dad first speaks.
"Is everything okay in here, boys?"
Luke answers, "I hope so Dad. Brandon had a bad dream and It really effected him."
"It was so real!" I say again and feel my cheek again. Maybe it was real and this is a dream. But as I come more to my senses, I realize that it had just been a dream.
Mom speaks up. "Brandon, honey? Would you like to sleep in our bed?"
When I was young and wasn't feeling good or was scared or had a bad dream, Mom and Dad would let me snuggle up to them in their bed. I think the last time, I was 11. I am now 18. I think I am too old to sleep with my parents. I don't want to go back to sleep either. I always felt safe in their bed. And it is a King Sized bed.
"Yeah" I say. "Is that okay Dad?
He smiles and nods. I get up and walk past them into their room and jump in the middle of the bed and wait for them just like I did when I was a little kid. They came in and crawled in bed on opposite sides of me and meet me in the middle. I am snuggled up to both of them and fall into a peaceful slumber.