Evil Is a Man

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

If you like what you're reading, let me know: SellarDhor@gmail.com. And let me know where you want the story to go and who you want Jake to end up with. And if you have any ideas for the future, let me know, I might include them.

JANUARY 17h

I woke up that morning on the cold wood floor, every part of my body aching out of control. Enid and Syd were doing exactly the same thing they had been doing when I had fallen asleep: having wild sex.

"Holy crap, have you guys been at it all night?" I asked.

Syd laughed. "Now, you know how much I love my sleep, Jakey. What do you think? And good morning to you too, by the way."

I got up off the ground slowly and stiffly, my joints popping. I didn't know if I'd be able to do another night on the floor.

As I was washing my face, there came a knock on the door. Syd and Enid froze.

"Who is it?" I called out, figuring it was Rose.

"It's Annie," came the pleasant response.

"Just a second," I said to her. And then I said in a hushed whisper, "Oh yeah, she said she'd be stopping by this morning to say goodbye to us."

"Enid, in the closet," Syd said.

"Oh, this is such a pain in the ass," she complained, moving so slowly into Syd's closet she practically was going in reverse.

Syd wrapped his top bed sheet around his waist and answered the door. "Hi, Annie," he said.

I went up to the door and waved hello at her, still in just a pair of shorts.

"Hi! Just wanted to say goodbye before I catch the stagecoach to Fools Gold this morning, since I won't be back for a couple weeks." She looked down at the sheet he was wearing. "Oh, did I interrupt something?" she asked, turning red.

"Yeah, actually," Syd said. "Jake and I were engaged in a little morning loving, weren't we, baby?"

I just smiled quickly in response.

Annie laughed, embarrassed. "That explains why I could have sworn I heard some very sexual noises coming from your apartment as soon as I turned the corner of the hall."

I wanted to thrust the point of my elbow into Syd's side as hard as I possibly could, but I dared not do anything but smile pleasantly.

"Oh yeah, that was me and Jakey, alright. We get a bit vocal with our lovemakin.'"

"Yeah, I was certain one of the voices was you, Syd, with your filthy mouth going full steam. The other voice didn't sound at all like Jake to me, though. Jake, you must have a really high pitched voice when Syd and you are getting some," she said, smiling at me. "Your normal voice is so low, I'd never suspect that you were capable of getting up to those kinds of octaves."

I smiled, embarrassed, but had nothing to say.

As usual, Syd always had some excuse at the ready. "Well, you know with the level of power that his sweet little tush is getting banged, Jakey can't help but scream like a little schoolgirl, right Jakey?"

"I guess," I said.

Her eyes narrowed, suddenly troubled. "You sound kind of sick, Syd. Are you feeling okay?"

He sniffed. "I figured I just had a sore throat from all that singing I was doing last night. But now that ya mention it, my nose is all stuffed up too."

She put a hand to his forehead. "Oh my god, you feel a little warm."

"Maybe because of all the sex, Annie," Syd said.

"I hope so." She looked suddenly very upset. "Oh, this is why I hate having male vampires as loved ones. If they even start getting the slightest sniffle, I all but have a nervous breakdown, praying that illness won't be the one that finally kills them."

"It's probably nothing, Annie," Syd said.

"Well, I want you to promise to call me every day until you don't have any symptoms anymore."

"Yes, yes, I promise."

"If you do get sick, I can go to Della and ask her to make a trip up to take care of you."

"Absolutely out of the question," he said. "Jake's an excellent nurse, he can take care of me again."

"You make sure to get him through it, whatever it takes," she said to me.

"I will," I agreed, hoping that Syd wasn't really sick, as the last think I wanted to do was take care of him again. Then I remembered the nurse they had on staff who was taking care of Tucker. Surely that would be sufficient, if he did get sick.

"And I'm counting on you two to help Parker look after Lewis," she said.

"Of course," I said.

She grabbed her luggage, and left with a smile. As soon as Syd shut the door, Enid came running out of the closet, still naked. "My God, how come it seems like all I ever do when I around you, Syd, is hide out from some woman or another? You have way too many hos. Now you'd better keep going where we left off."

She ripped the blanket off of him and pushed him back onto the bed.

"That's the kind of enthusiasm I love to see in my lovers," he said as he started having sex with her again. "Jakey, you could learn a thing or two from this little lady. Actually, you could learn one or two hundred things from this lady."

"Boy, wouldn't Mom be proud if I came home with a couple hundred of Enid's choicest characteristics in tow?"

"Men always told me that I'm the kind of girl they'd bring home to their mothers," Enid said. "Wait a second, maybe it was that I was the kind of girl they'd never bring home to their mothers; my hearing isn't the best when I'm getting fucked outta my mind. One of the two, in any case."

Even after I had gotten dressed and was all ready to face my day, I couldn't leave because the two of them just went on and on. Finally they both climaxed, with Syd taking his requisite blood, and I threw my book down, eager to get out.

"Boy, I'm in serious need of a snooze," Syd, said, rolling over in bed. "Enid, come nap with me."

"I need some breakfast," she said.

"We had toast this morning," he said.

"No, by breakfast I mean I need a few shots of hard liquor," she said. "I'm going downstairs."

"Oh, thank goodness," I said, knowing that as long as Enid wasn't around, I could leave.

After a tiring morning spent practicing the rodeo events on my own, figuring it was never too early to start preparing for my final showdown against Jericho and Glaucia, Syd and Enid forced me to accompany them to the mess hall for lunch. Once again, as we sat there, the events going on top of the table were just a boring cover up for the touching that was happening under the table.

"Thought I'd find you here," said Rose as she approached us out of nowhere. Thank goodness Enid hadn't been under the table at the time. "We just got done with a Cabinet meeting." A strand of her blonde hair had somehow gotten loose from her bun, so she grabbed it and tucked it neatly back. "Jericho publicly announced that Boyd Slade disgraced himself in his rodeo competition, and therefore he was demoting his family to just an average family in name."

"Can't say I'm too bummed `bout that one," Syd said.

"The Slade lands are to be split up among the rest of us high families, and the Slade chair in the cabinet is being dissolved. Boyd was absolutely furious." She smiled sinisterly.

"I would have loved to seen that," Syd said.

"It's gotten me all hot and excited," she said. "Drop the chaperone act with these human sacks of trash, and let's go to my room."

"Yes, Rosie," he said. He very discreetly buttoned his jeans again, and then left the table.

"I hate that girl," Enid said. "She's the ultimate cunt-block. Always seems to come around just when mine is all wet, too." She stormed off from the table, and I finished my lunch happily by myself.

That afternoon, Parker and I decided to take Lewis out fly fishing for his first time. As the three of us made our way towards the creek to the south of the mansion, Parker handed me a large backpack.

"What's in here?" I asked.

"Your flies, some safety gear, water, a healthy snack, and whatever else you might be needing on the hike."

"I have to admit that I hiked to the stream when you were in Fools Gold, though it didn't seem right to fish without my favorite person in the Territory."

"That's sweet, Jake, but you should have just fished on your own," he said to me, smiling. "I hope you brought some protection going alone like that, though."

"I actually neglected to."

His smile faded. "If you would have been hurt out on the very stream I introduced you to, I would have never forgiven myself. Please, Jake, it's not that hard just to arm yourself before you leave."

"Okay, I just forgot about it. Sorry, it's just weird to get to the idea of taking a firearm with me, since I never had one before. But I won't forget it again."

Lewis loved going on the excursion and especially loved splashing around in the stream, which pretty much ruined our chances of catching anything, but Parker and I didn't care. Of course, being so young, he had enough patience to cast a rod a few times, but not enough to sit there and wait, not when there were so many interesting playing possibilities out there, so he quickly abandoned the idea of fishing, and just used it as a wonderful excuse to generally run amok.

My aching bones starting bothering me after a bit of standing there casting, so I took a break and sat on a log where I could see Lewis playing around some boulders ten yards to the north of the stream, reaching behind and rubbing my back.

"You look like you could use a backrub, Jake," Parker said. "I'd offer to, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable with unnecessary physical contact."

"Parker, I'd love a back rub. You won't make me uncomfortable."

He come up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. He started kneading my shoulders with his strong fingers, and it felt great. Not just to have my body tended to, but just as much the sensation of having someone I trusted touch me in a non-sexual way.

"That sooo good," I said. "Sorry, I was sleeping on the hardwood floor last night, sans a pillow or blanket."

"What?" Parker asked. "Please tell me Syd is not forcing you to sleep on the ground like some kind of pet."

"Well, he offered to have me share his bed, but I refused. You see, he and Enid were having sex all night."

"While you were in the room? That's horrendous."

"Holy crap, that's just the tip of the iceberg," I said.

"Please, don't leave me in the dark."

I related to him how Enid slept her way into our lives, and how those two were spending so much time together, it was almost like they were an item. About all the times that we had to hide Enid from others, including Parker's own wife, and how they took special glee making him me stick around to watch whenever they had sex. And lastly, how Enid had puked all over me and the couch I had been sleeping on this whole time.

As I relayed it all, Parker was both shocked and extremely sympathetic. "You should have told me how bad it had gotten for you in Syd's room long before it had gotten that out of hand. And what now, you're just planning to spend another night tonight on the hard floor, while Syd carouses with his lady friend?"

"Yes," I said.

"And the night after that, and the one after that? When does it end?"

"I guess when the wedding's called off," I said. "Which we have to wait until we finish the rodeo before that happens. What other choice do I have?"

He shook his head. "You're not sleeping in there anymore, I won't have it. You can sleep in my room. It'll be perfect timing, now that Annie's left."

"I don't want to be a bother," I said.

"You're never a bother, Jake. Never." He scratched his head. "We'll just have to think of some good reason to tell everyone else why you're in my room at night. We don't want to give people the wrong idea."

"You know, Syd sounds a bit like he might be getting sick, maybe I could say that I was trying not to get sick as well."

"Hmm, doesn't seem logical to me," Parker said. "You're supposed to be immune to getting sick. Just tell people that Syd coughs all night and snores when he's sick, making it impossible for you to get any rest. I wouldn't exactly move into my apartment, just bring in whatever you'll be using for the next day. But it should work."

"Thank you so very much, Parker," I said. "I swear I wasn't trying to complain about everything that had been going on just so you could fix my problems."

"Jake, you are one of the smartest, most capable people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Let me assure you, you are just as capable of solving all your problems as I ever will be. And yet, it makes me so happy to help you when I can, I hope you'll indulge me in that as much as you have patience for."

"You are my best friend out here, you know that."

"I feel the same way about you Jake. That's why I'll feel a whole lot better tonight when you're not shivering on the floor."

"Well, thanks, I--"

I was completely dumbfounded as Parker suddenly tackled me, pushing me to the ground on my back, while at the same time putting one hand supporting my upper back and one hand on the back of my head, making sure I didn't get hurt as I hit the ground. He sprawled his body completely on top of mine, mystifying me. Was he coming onto me? Trying to kiss me?

"Parker?"

"Sorry, I saw someone across the stream to the south," he said. "Stay down, just in case they start shooting at us." He spun around to look at Lewis behind us. "Lewis, I need you to hide under that boulder real well, and stay there until I tell you it's okay to come out, do you understand?"

"Yes, Parker." He climbed under the boulder until he was almost completely concealed.

Parker turned back towards the stream. "Now I can't see our mysterious friend," he said. Without getting off me, he reached over and grabbed his pack, then pulled out his Minie Rifle from his pack. Apparently it was already loaded, as he aimed it carefully towards whomever it had been that he had seen towards the southwest, across the stream.

"Hey, I see someone over there," I said, pointing.

"Where?" Parker asked, moving his rifle in the direction I pointed.

"Oh, nope, he ducked down."

"What did you see exactly?"

"Well, he was far way, but he looked to me like a Native American. Maybe it's Big Horn."

"Big Horn's area isn't anywhere near here," he said. "Are you sure it was a Native American?"

"Yes, sure."

He rolled off of me. "Sorry for invading your personal space like that, Jake. It would just kill me if any rogue vampire shot you in my care. But I know our enemy, and they refuse to use guns, so I don't need to cover you."

"Who are they?"

"A band of vampire Pawnee. I used to feel sorry for them, but most of my sympathy has since dwindled as all my efforts to communicate with them and get them to stand down have been laughed at."

"I didn't know Pawnee were from Texas," I said.

"They're not. Unlike Big Horn, they're not indigenous to the Territory. But they found it to be accommodating to them when they came in the late 19th century, and haven't left since."

I stood up. "If they don't have guns, they won't be much threat, right?"

"I'd prefer if you didn't leave yourself prone to attack like that. Just hunch down to make yourself a bit less of a target."

"Alright." I did as he asked.

"Just because they don't use western weapons doesn't mean you should underestimate these guys. They are as old and as strong as I am. And they carry tomahawks, which they will throw at you if they get close enough." He handed me the pack he brought me. "You'll find loaded guns in there. Get your rifle out, and help me keep them at a distance."

I pulled the rifle out of the pack, kneeled down beside Parker, and started aiming across the water, looking for them. "What do they want from us?" I asked. "To kill us?"

"No, that's not their way," he said.

"Are they here to kidnap Lewis for some kind of ransom?"

"Many unlawful people in the Territory would have that very thing in mind, but these Pawnee have no knowledge of the governmental structure that goes on here, or that Lewis is a key figure in that structure. They have no need of children; all they want is our possessions. But what has me quite worried is, I don't know how safe you'll be once they smell that you are AB negative. If we keep them from crossing the stream, they won't be in range of smelling your blood. Ah, there's one. Jake, plug your ears."

He waited until my fingers were in my ears, and then shot his rifle.

"Got him."

"Is he dead?"

"No, of course not, a single rifle shot isn't going to kill one of these fellows unless it's right in the face. I'm not trying to kill anyone, Jake. Now, think you can cover me while I reload?"

"Sure." While he loaded the minie bullets and used his ramrod on the weapon, I aimed my own towards the vampires. When one finally popped up from behind a bush, I pulled the trigger. "Wow, I think I got him in the leg!"

"Nice work, it's been so long since our day at the shooting range, but I see you haven't lost any of your skill."

While I reloaded my rifle, which seemed to take forever, Parker shot another vampire. And then our roles reversed, and I got one of the vampires in the hand.

As soon as I had reloaded, we heard Lewis yell, "Parker!"

We turned around towards Lewis. He was still hiding underneath that boulder a ways behind us, but he was pointing at three threatening men walking around his stone, searching for him, axes in hand.

"We've been duped," I said.

"They've been flanking us this whole time," Parker said. "They're still not close enough to smell you. I'll take care of the ones on this side. You just keep your gun pointed across that creek, and don't let any of the ones on that side get near."

"Got it."

He threw down his rifle, grabbed his loaded pistol, and rushed towards them.

Now that the Pawnee were much closer, I could better make out their features. Like Big Horn, they showed no sign of possessing anything that would not have been considered Native American in culture. Like Big Horn, they were all handsome, strong and imposing, with dark, copper-brown skin, and green eyes.

That's where the similarities ended. Big Horn gave off an air of stoic wisdom, while these men seemed warlike, many with mohawks and body paint. I hated to use the word, but they indeed seemed very savage.

I turned my attention back across the creek, scanning the far landscape with my rifle scope. I eventually saw one of the vampires I had already shot before, and hit him again.

As I reloaded my gun, I looked behind me just as Parker reached up his pistol and shot one of the three vampires in the leg as he ran towards him. The bullet only seemed to slow the vampire down, and the other two turned their focus from Lewis to Parker. All three of them rose up their axes menacingly at Parker, and my heart started to pound.

As the three vampires surrounded Parker, swinging their tomahawks at him, he spun this way and that with a fighter's precision, somehow managing to dodge every cut, shooting one of them in the chest with his gun right as he smashed the other with a steel fist in the face. The third one threw his tomahawk at him.

"Careful!" I yelled.

Parker ducked backwards just in time to have the tomahawk fly over him harmlessly. He smiled at me in response, got back to his feet, shot another one in the arm before the one who had lost his tomahawk started hitting him with steel fists.

I aimed my rifle towards the abuser, and pulled my trigger; hitting him in the leg and making him fall over, unable to hit Parker anymore.

"Thanks, but I really would have been fine. Keep your rifle focused on the other side of the creek!"

I started to reload my rifle again as I turned back towards the slow side of the water. To my shock, I saw one of the mohawked warriors running full speed towards the creek. I had to stop him right then, and my hands shook with adrenaline as I desperately worked to reload, grabbing my ramrod. As long as he was on the other side of the creek, I was fine.

The Pawnee amazingly leapt all the way across the stream in a single, graceful jump, landing just feet from me, making me jump back in alarm.

I pulled out my ramrod, cocked, and pulled the trigger right at his chest. I should have had him, but he spun around to the left right before I made my shot, dodging my bullet. No, the rifle was all wrong for this close a target. I threw it down, grabbed the bag, and pulled out my pistol.

Meanwhile, the Pawnee had locked his cruel eyes onto me, sniffed a couple times in the air, and then I saw his body physically react to my scent. His buckskin loincloth was pushed aside as his huge dick started to turn rock hard, his fangs popping out at the same time.

He started yelling something in his native tongue to the others, and I didn't need a translator to know he was broadcasting my unusual blood type.

I raised my pistol and shot him in the chest before he could finish his sentence. He fell backwards to the ground, clutching his chest, trying to pull the bullet out.

I hoped the others hadn't heard him. Parker was just finishing taking down the three vampires over by Tucker with his talented combat techniques. But turning to look the other direction gave me the sickening sight of five tomahawk-wielding warriors, all crossing the stream, coming straight for me with a whole new sense of urgency.

They all cleared the water and were charging towards me seemingly at once. I shot one of them in the leg, making him stop temporarily, and ran backwards away from the others. I shot a second one in the arm.

But then, one of them threw their tomahawk at me, and I didn't have time to avoid it. I wondered if it would be a killing blow, but it only hit my right hand, hurting it enough to make me drop my pistol, but not enough to do any damage to me.

My rifle was with my bag on the ground, on the other side of my attackers, so all I could do was try to run away. I knew as I turned to flee they would reach me in a short matter of time.

I felt hands grab my shirt and hands on my back. I tried to rip out of my shirt, but then more strong hands got a hold of the rest of my body, forcing me to stop moving. Soon, I couldn't see or barely breathe as I was literally surrounded by their bodies, with them not realizing that they were smothering their prize.

I heard it first: flesh being pummeled and ripped around. Another pistol bullet was fired, and one of the Pawnee dropped to the ground. I felt writhing bodies being desperately away from me.

"Jake, run!" I heard, as I saw Parker in the middle of what was then six Pawnee warriors, spinning this way and that, hitting them with such an insane speed, keeping them occupied with his attacks. I pulled away from the group, worried about Parker. How could he take on six men by himself?

I desperately looked for my lost pistol, which sadly was underfoot of the men. My rifle, I had to go back and get my rifle. I spun around, saw my rifle sitting there down by my pack, and started to run towards it at top speed. I was going so fast, I dove on the ground head first and slid towards the weapon on the ground.

As I came to a stop with my right hand stretched out towards the rifle, I grabbed it in my fingers. I pulled it towards me, but the thing absolutely would not budge; it was as if it had suddenly gone up exponentially in weight.

I heard deep chest laughter, and I looked down the body of the rifle to see a huge brown bare foot standing on my gun, holding it to the ground. My eyes traveled from that foot up and I saw that his sweaty body was ripped with hard, cruel muscles. I could see his sneering down at me.

He said something to me in his language and I just knew by the look on his face and by the sounds of his words that they were sexual in nature. Next thing I knew, he confirmed that by reaching down and showing me his hard dick underneath his loincloth and giving it a squeeze, laughing at me. He quickly moved on top of me on the ground, slapping his hard dick against my chest, feeling my face with his hands, saying something in his language that clearly was meant as a boast of his power.

I reached my hand in Parker's bag, and was so, so happy to feel one more gun that I hadn't noticed before. I swiftly pulled it out, aimed up at his stomach, and pulled the trigger.

The shotgun blasted a massive hole in his torso, and at the same time sent him flying off his feet and backwards several feet. He landed unconscious in the water, though I knew he surely hadn't been killed.

That was it for the shotgun; it wasn't worth trying to find more ammo and reload. I picked up the rifle off the ground, and finished loading it with the ramrod. I spun around to face Parker, praying to God that he was somehow still alive.

I guess that prayer was a bit premature, as I found Parker completely kicking Pawnee butt. He apparently had been so overwhelmed by their number that he had gone invisible, and I was seeing him hit someone with what must have been his steel fist, then run away before the poor man had time to hit him back, just to hit again from behind. Occasionally, he would shoot at them with his pistol as well, though the smoke that came out of it gave away his location to some extent. I didn't think the warriors had a chance to land a single blow, and I shot my rifle at one of them, crossing my fingers that Parker wouldn't be hit, knocking the man unconscious.

Only when all men were on the ground did Parker turn visible again. "Jake, please tell me you aren't harmed."

"I'm fine," I said. "They wouldn't risk harming me, it seemed. Just like the Riley Clan."

"Well, I hope none of these men molested you in any way," he said. "If so, we could take them back to Mareshead as hostages."

"We stopped them. Let's just let them go. Hopefully this will teach them a lesson."

I picked up all of our things, Parker picked up Lewis, who was unharmed but rattled, and we started to walk back to the mansion.

"Now that they've smelled your blood, I don't think it's safe for you to come out here without me or some other guard," he said. "Promise me you won't try to hike this creek alone."

"I promise. Were those just the men in their tribe? Perhaps the women are more civilized."

He shook his head. "Sad story, really. This little Pawnee tribe made a deal with an old vampire, and no one is sure what sort of payment they made. But her part of the bargain was to turn every member of the tribe that could be turned, so they would not be able to die so easily."

"Meaning, all the males in the tribe?"

"Exactly. And then that vampire left them alone, leaving these new ones to learn the ropes on their own. They did not know that new fanged vampires aren't strong enough to procreate until they were about a hundred years old. Which includes natural born baby vampires or turned people. So, they were mystified when suddenly the women in their tribe were no longer conceiving. By the time they grew strong enough to procreate, all the women had long since gown old and died. And they were all too proud to ever mate with anyone outside of their tribe, as apparently they made an oath to the ancestors. So, they no longer have any women, and every time one of the men dies, their tribe becomes permanently depleted." He looked at me. "Now you understand why I tend to pity them."

"Has Big Horn tried to talk some sense into them?"

"Of course, but to them, he's just as much an outsider as I am. He washed his hands of them long ago."

"I'm tired," Lewis said. "Is fishing always this scary?"

"No, it's not, I promise," Parker said.

"Well, anything is better than being in the house. Where daddy can find me."

"Wise words indeed, child."

When I got back to the room in the late afternoon, Syd was no longer in bed or anywhere else. I took a bath and washed all the fish grime from my skin, then got dressed. I noticed that my settee was completely gone. Someone must have hauled it away.

"Guess what I've been doing all afternoon?" Syd asked me as he sauntered into the room.

"With you, there's really just two options. Having sex or getting drunk."

"The former," he said, and I noticed that his nose still sounded stuffed up. "I was making boring love to Rose for hours, until she noticed my surplus of snot and banished me from coming near her for a few days. Seems like my life is lookin' a whole lot rosier."

"I told Parker that I have to sleep on the floor," I said.

"You don't HAVE to sleep on the floor, Jakey. It's a choice you make. We all make our choices."

"For me, it's not a choice," I said.

"Well, they said they could have a brand new spanking new couch for you to sanctimoniously sleep on in less than two weeks time."

"For now, Parker asked me to spend the nights with him," I said.

"Ooo, your dream come true, Jakey. You do remember that he is married, straight, and an expecting father, don't you? Or did you conveniently forget that part?"

"Nope, I remember, but thanks as always for reminding me of my morals. He thought, since you were getting sick, we'd just tell people that you were snoring and coughing at night, so I had to scram in order to catch any sleep."

He made a face. "Well, that doesn't sound like a very flattering excuse at all. I can't imagine it's gonna win me any ladies' favor here. "

"Regardless of if it helps you get laid or not, it's actually the truth. You snore and you cough in your sleep when you're sick, Syd."

"Well, since we've built us up as some hot couple, that will never do as an excuse now. No, here's what we'll be telling people... You crave my body every single night. I tell you I need my rest while I'm sick in order to recover, so you won't be able to get fucked multiple times a night like you're used to. You know that you will not be able to physically stop yourself from attacking my body if you're forced to sleep next to me. And everyone knows our couch has been thrown out, so you can't sleep there. Only choice is to sleep in Parker's room until I feel better."

There wasn't much arguing room I had with Syd, since he could have theoretically refused to support me sleeping outside of his room, so I just had to go along with his typical ridiculousness. "Fine, see you later."

"Hasta la vista, Jakey."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh no," I said. "Please don't tell me you're going to start using tired Spanish catchphrases now."

"Por que no?" he asked.

"Because your accent is a joke, for one thing. You're not even trying to get rid of your hick cowboy tone. You have absolutely zero respect or knowledge of Hispanic culture, you're just using it as your own personal window dressing."

"Hey, I make Espanol work for me," he said.

"Well, it's so not cool, Syd."

"It worked for Arnold, didn't it?"

"That's debatable. Besides, that was eons ago. And it was only cool for like five minutes."

"Good thing people here ain't got access to movies, Jakey. The ladies here love it when I workout my limited Spanish talk with them. Think it's all exotic and romantic and shit."

"Well then, I'm so glad I'll be sleeping at Parker's from now on," I said, turning to leave.

"Oh, me duele, Jakey."

"Arrgh!" I yelled, and only heard him snickering behind me as I left.

I spent dinner with Parker and Lewis in the mess hall. Because there weren't really any other kids around that were Lewis's age that night, he spent the whole time at the table, playing and interacting with the two of us.

After a good amount of time seeing Parker interact with Lewis, I was really coming to the realization that he was excellent with kids, much better than Syd or I were. I was an extremely responsible babysitter who wasn't afraid to set limits or to hold children accountable for their bad behavior. But I didn't relate to children in a way that made me fun in their eyes. Syd was the exact opposite: kids adored him, but he was absolutely not the least bit responsible. Parker was able to excellently marry the positives of the two of our extremes, showing great ability to put himself on the level of Lewis, while at the same time, steering him towards responsible types of activities. Watching him make the boy laugh at the table so effortlessly, I knew that he was exactly the kind of partner I wanted in life if I ever raised a family.

After dinner, we hung around the mess hall playing some simple card games with Lewis until it was close to his bedtime. At that point, Syd came and found me, letting me know that I was, "Ahem, needed," upstairs in his room by Enid. I looked Parker in the eye as soon as Syd left, and he clearly knew exactly what that meant.

"I could be quite late," I said. "Do you want to rethink the me bunking with you deal?"

"Don't be silly," he said. "Just let yourself into the room when you come, it'll be unlocked."

I spent nearly two and a half hours reading in Syd's desk chair while trying hard not to look at Syd and Enid having crazy, drawn-out sex, and it was close to midnight by the time I finally got Enid out of the room. As I was leaving, I had to wake up Syd, who was already totally post-coitusly conked out, in order to ask him how to get to Parker's bedroom, because I realized I had never been there.

As I was going to Parker's room I discovered that it was exactly in the same position on the third floor as Syd's room, only on the opposite wing of the house. Expecting Parker to be asleep, I opened the door very quietly and stepped inside.

Instead of the darkness I was expecting to walk into, the room was bathed in a soft light from Parker's bedside lamp. My eyes quickly moved to the bed beside the lamp, where Parker was laying on one side of his bed, his back propped up by his headboard, and a book on his lap. His eyes were focused on the page, his beautiful face adopting a very handsome look of intellectual stimulation. He was wearing old fashioned white-cotton pajamas, a Victorian looking single garment that never would have been available to buy in modern times, which only covered up his shoulders on top, leaving his wonderful muscled arms bare, and only went down to his mid-thighs, leaving his artificial leg and very attractive real leg out in the open.

"Hey, Jake, you can stop tip-toeing in," Parker said, smiling and waving me in. "That's very sweet of you, but I'm afraid I'm still up reading."

"Finally, a Logan man who knows how to read a book," I said. "That's so refreshing."

Parker laughed. "There's a whole lot of landmarks I've achieved for us Logan men, one of the most major was learning how to treat other people with a little respect."

I looked around the room. "This room looks a lot like Syd's," I said.

"That's because it's identical to Syd's room, only the mirror image. If you want to analyze the metaphorical meaning of Jericho assigning me the only room in the Mansion that was Syd's twin, you can have at it. I'm still trying to figure out what he was trying to tell us by assigning his two oldest boys a couple of the smallest apartments in the house."

Parker's large bed was on the left, and to the right, there were two doors that led to a walk-in closet and a small bathroom. Like Syd's room, there was an old fashioned, freestanding bathtub on the hardwood floors of space. Where Syd had put his settee and guitars, all of the free space in Parker's room was taken with an extra dresser and two desks.

"How will you and Annie manage once the baby comes?" I asked.

"I've already put in a request for a larger apartment. Feel free to put your luggage in the closet," he said, motioning towards the backpack I had on.

I took a step into Parker's closet, and was seriously impressed. "Holy crap!" I yelled with ecstasy. "You've got your closet organized to the immaculate T, complete with custom installed drawers and shelves, and every piece of clothing is carefully hung up or folded neatly!"

"Whoa, I've never heard your voice sound so excited," Parker yelled from outside. "I hate to sound vulgar, but Syd would have sworn you just had an orgasm."

"I'm just freaking out a little because it's the complete opposite of Syd's tactic of just throwing all of his things all over the place, with zero purpose or order."

"See? I told you there were a lot of landmarks I achieved for the Logan men."

I left the closet and walked into the bathroom, which was just a sink, mirror, and toilet, just like Syd's bathroom. Only, instead of his toiletries tossed about all over the place, Parker's bathroom was extremely tidy and shining clean. "Ooo, I love this too. Bathrooms should be organized and sterile, just as this one is."

I walked back into Parker's apartment and looked around. "In fact, this whole room looks like it could belong to me, except for that dresser and that desk," I said, pointing. "Those are too cluttered. Are they yours?"

"Nope, Annie's," he said. "She's the messy one. Luckily, I can keep her disorder contained to just those two spaces. I won't even touch them without washing my hands right away. Between the two of us, I'm the one with the weakened immune system, after all."

I was loving Parker more and more with each passing second. "I don't see a couch or anything for me to sleep on."

"No, we don't have any room in here," he said.

That's when I noticed there was a little mat on the floor and some blankets set up. "Oh, you set that up for me?"

"No, I'd never invite someone to sleep over and then make them sleep on the floor. It's for me, you get the bed."

"I can't kick you out of your own bed, Parker, it isn't right. Especially given your condition."

"I can handle the floor quite fine with my condition. I've had plenty of practice all the nights Annie's been cross with me."

"I don't think we're going to come to an agreement here, so maybe we should just share the bed?"

He looked dismayed. "I don't feel comfortable with that particular scenario, I'm afraid."

"I understand," I said, assuming he didn't like the idea of me possibly touching him during the night. I reminded myself that this guy was straight.

"It's inappropriate for me to be so close to you physically in such an intimate setting. If I accidentally rubbed up against you in my sleep, well I might as well be Syd or Boyd, trying to take advantage of you sexually. I'd never forgive myself when you inevitably feel uncomfortable with me, grossed out, ruining our friendship."

I couldn't believe my ears. "You're refusing to share a bed with me because you're worried about making ME uncomfortable?"

"Yes, precisely."

"You're not going to make me uncomfortable, Parker."

"Even if I accidentally touch you?"

"Even then. I promise. And I insist we share the bed, or I'm leaving for Syd's."

"Alright, you know how to twist my arm like no one else," he said, smiling.

"I just don't want to impose on your limited bed space."

"I'm used to sharing this bed with Annie," he said.

"I'm a little bigger than she is."

"True, but Annie is anything but cuddly in bed. Can you believe sweet Annie turns almost demonically possessed whenever she's asleep? She kicks and claws and punches me all night, until I'm inevitably pushed to the very edge of the bed, holding on for dear life. Sharing the bed with anyone who manages to take up anything less than two-thirds of the bed will feel like a miracle to me." He laughed. "And don't worry, after Annie slept here last night, I had all new sheets and blankets brought in for you."

"Wow, thanks so much Parker. Let me just get ready for bed then."

I flossed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and used the toilet. Then I went into the closet and changed out of my clothes, getting into the shorts I had been using as pajamas. I felt bad, if I had known that I was going to be sharing a bed with him, I would have brought a proper sleeping shirt with me, after all, he was out there in pajamas. But I hadn't thought to bring anything, and I didn't like the thought of asking to borrow something from him, I was already causing him enough trouble as it was. So, when I went out to join him in bed, I was only in my shorts, bare from the waist up.

He glanced at my bare upper body very quickly, obviously registering my new condition, but not letting his eyes eat up my skin the way Syd always did.

As I got closer to him, I realized that the fabric of his pajamas was thinly-spun, soft cotton, kind of like the material a white undershirt would have been, but thinner. It clung to his chest and torso, showing off his generous pecs topped with firm nipples, and sculpted abs on his torso. I realized it was easy enough to see through the fabric to the tan skin underneath, and the darker shade of his nipples. And down below, where his pajama fly lay, I could see the outline of his huge, tannish pink dickstalk and pink dickhead, tucked down and under, looking oh so delectable. I only let myself look for a mere moment.

Before I went to bed, I kneeled down at the side of the bed, setting my elbows on the mattress, with my hands clasped in prayer and my cross in my hand. "Parker, I hope you're not offended if I pray."

"I don't care one bit," he said. "I may be an atheist myself, but unlike most vampires, I believe in religious freedom and tolerance." Just another reason to love Parker.

When I was done with my prayers, I pulled back the covers and jumped into bed. "Oh my goodness!" I squealed happily.

"You made the orgasm sound again," Parker said.

I sniffed the pillowcase. "Only because this is the cleanest and most comfortable bed I've ever been in."

"Yeah, I'm sure anything would feel that way after a night sleeping on Syd's dirty, disgusting floor."

I looked over at his artificial leg. "Are you going to wear your leg to bed?"

"It's what I always do, yes. Well, unless..." he trailed off.

"Unless what?"

"Unless I'm sleeping alone," he said.

"Is it comfortable to sleep in?" I asked him.

"Not at all, and it itches."

"Then why wear it?" I asked.

"Well, it sort of freaks Annie out. I mean, the idea of me being without it. She's never really seen me take it off."

I was taken aback. I tried to sympathize with Annie's point of view, but it was difficult. "I think you should do whatever you'd normally do if I wasn't here," I said. "Do what makes you comfortable."

"Well then, I'd take off the leg," he said. "Are you sure this won't leave you disturbed? The last thing I want to do is give you nightmares."

"The only thing that would leave me disturbed is if you ever worried that I'd care in any way about your missing leg," I said.

He smiled. "Alright then, here it goes." He pulled the artificial limb down and off, letting me see the stump that ended on his lower leg for the first time. From the way he had been so insecure about it, I wondered if there was some really grotesque scar to see, but actually, the skin around the stump had all healed extremely well.

"You're staring at it," he said. "It's not too late for me to put it away if you've changed your mind."

"I haven't. I'm looking at it because I was surprised how normal it looked. I think whenever it's just the two of us here, you should just take it off and relax. In my book, you're way more attractive without the artificial leg, because what I'm seeing is the real Parker."

He smiled from ear to ear, and reached over and pulled me towards him into a huge hug. "You don't know how much that means to me," he said, with an emotional quiver in his voice. "Since I got the artificial leg, you're the only person besides Della who's ever been fine seeing me without it. I feel very strongly the desire to hug you right now. Would that make you uncomfortable?"

"No Parker, I'm honored," I said. He embraced me, and I loved the feeling of his warm, tender hug, and took in his sweet, clean, smoke-free smell; his touch and his words really making me feel like I was special to him. When he let me go, I could see his eyes were moist, and it almost started getting me choked up too.

"You know, maybe you're right," he said. "I'm so sick of apologizing for not being a complete person on the outside, when inside, I know I'm just as complete as anyone around me. Maybe I should stop worrying about what others expect of me, and just do what I want to do."

"I think that's an excellent idea."

"And you know what I want to do first?" he asked me. "Throw this leg across the room."

He tossed his artificial leg all the way to the other side of apartment.

"Nice!"

"I feel like a whole different person already," he said. "A free person."

"Just let me know if you need help getting around at all," I said.

"Thanks, I may take you up on that. Goodnight, Jake. You've been here two minutes, and I already feel so good about these new sleeping arrangements."

"No more so than I," I said. "Thanks again, Parker."

He actually had an alarm clock on the side of the bed, the old-fashioned kind that needed to be wound. I set it plenty early enough for me to get up in time.

"You still look pretty stiff, Jake," Parker said, and my first reaction was to look down at my penis, concerned that I was embarrassing myself. "Is your back still sore?"

Oh, right, my back. "Yes, a bit," I said. "Nothing that a night in this bed won't fix."

"Good to hear."

"But if you really wanted to make it heal faster, you could give me a quick back massage. I know what good hands you have after you rubbed my shoulders earlier today."

"I'm flattered to hear that analysis, but I'm afraid it would be inappropriate for so many reasons."

"I understand, sorry I brought it up. Wait a second actually, are you worried about you being uncomfortable with me giving you too much contact, or are you worried about me being uncomfortable with you touching me?"

"Why, the latter, of course."

"Why do you think I'm going to be uncomfortable with you?"

"For one thing, a back massage requires a lot more touching than when I was just rubbing you shoulders, and you are in much less clothing than before, including not having a shirt on, which means my hands would be on your bare skin. If I were even halfway like my brother, I might get a, you know, an arousal out of touching you that way, especially considering that I may have to massage your lower back, so close to your behind. Add that to the fact that I'm also not fully dressed here, and to the venue of the massage, which is my bed, and it all practically shouts a situation in which you will feel I violated you."

"Parker, let me ask you this. If you gave me a back massage before bed, would it be in order to take advantage of me sexually, or would it be in order to help a friend relieve their aches and pains."

"Well, the healing part. But why should you trust me when you've been lied to about these things before?"

"Parker, I know you, and you'd never take advantage of anyone sexually, ever. Please let me assure you that if you give me a back massage, I'll never think twice about your motivations."

"Well, alright. But if you change your mind in the middle, all you have to do is tell me and I'll never touch you again."

"And you can stop before you get bored to tears."

"It won't bore me at all," Parker said. "I'll feel extremely self-satisfied if I can help make you more comfortable. Here, flip onto your stomach."

I set myself face down on the bed, and he placed his warm, strong hands on my shoulders. His touch felt so perfect, I knew he must have has some serious training in the various techniques he was using.

As he worked down my back, I compared the experience to the times Syd had given me massages in Tahoe. Not only was Parker clearly more skilled with his hands, I realized in hindsight that Syd's massages had been kind of teasing, clearly designed to stimulate one's desire, tailor made for people he was trying to seduce. I thought about how they were also excuses to have him touch me in private places, as well as the way he constantly found a way to touch me with his package, or stick his package in my face.

Parker was the complete opposite. His touch felt healing and deeply relaxing, not the least bit sexual. He never crossed any boundaries into inappropriate touching; he only touched me with his hands, and kept them always on my back. It was clear Parker was deeply interested in making my pain go away and to put me at peace, without any other hidden agendas.

I fell asleep during his massage, so I had no idea how long he was rubbing me down before he called it a night.

Sharing a bed with Parker is the complete opposite of sharing one with Syd. Parker always gives you your personal space, and really moved around very little in bed. Clearly he was so paranoid about inadvertently touching me in his sleep that he had moved all the way to very edge of his side of the bed.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up and looked over at him. He was fast asleep, the moonlight from the skylight window above us drowning him in beautiful silver.

I could see in his sleep, that wonderful penis wrapped in the thin white cotton of his sleepwear had turned pulsing hard, and though the whole unit was still tucked downwards, a little pool of precum had soaked through the area where his large dickhead was pressed against his balls.

I wanted so much to move closer to him and inspect his beauty up close, but I knew it was wrong. I shut my eyes and went back to sleep.

JANUARY 18th

I turned the alarm off, figuring I hadn't woken up Parker, and jumped out of bed. Having to pull my complacent body out of that perfectly comfortable, warm bed, especially one with my dream guy sleeping beside me, took all my willpower.

"Good morning, Jake," Parker said, sounding surprisingly coherent after just being woken up so early.

"I feel bad for rousing you unnecessarily early. I'm not sure why I assumed that because Syd is such a heavy sleeper that you would be too. The only thing that wakes Syd up is sex."

"Or alcoholic beverage offerings, I've discovered. Feel free to use the bathtub."

"That sounds loads more appealing than having to use Syd's gross tub," I said. "But I'm afraid I don't have time."

"You can take one later on then," he said. "Would you mind running it for me before you go?"

"Sure."

I turned the bath on as he shut his eyes again in bed, then started getting ready for the morning. When I came out of the bathroom, all ready to go, I saw Parker was sitting up in bed, looking down sleepily at the floor.

"Do you need help getting anywhere, Parker?" I asked.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked me. "Because I'm perfectly capable of getting around on my own, it just takes a bit longer."

"I'd love to help," I said, meaning it.

"Can you help me to the bathroom then?" he asked.

"Of course."

I went over to his side of the bed, and leaned down. He put his bare, muscled arm around my neck for support, and I helped get him to his feet, wrapping my arm around his back. I helped him into the bathroom, and he wanted me to help prop him up in front of the toilet. Unlike Syd, however, he politely asked me to leave while he took a piss, and I did.

He washed his hands in the sink, which impressed me, since Syd would never bother to wash his hands after he just took a piss.

"Can you just help me into the bath before you leave?" he asked. "Then I promise I'll let you go."

"Of course, I've got plenty of time, Parker."

I helped walk him to the bath, which was full by that time, so I turned the water off.

"Do you need me to help you undress, Parker?" I asked.

"No, I wouldn't hear of it. Having to see me naked will likely make you lose your appetite for breakfast. Just help me in with the PJs on, and I'll take them off later."

I reached out and supported him, giving him balance. I wrapped both arms around his torso as I helped him get his foot into the tub, then I reached over and helped lower him safely into the water. The PJs, started to turn translucent, and I tried to get a better view, but Parker quickly said, "Thanks again, Jake," and turned his back to me.

I left the apartment for Cornelius's office. As soon as I had left it, I was readjusting my hardon in my underwear, making sure I wouldn't embarrass myself.

"I noticed this morning you were markedly more punctual that usual," Cornelius said as we wrapped up our meeting. "Do you have Syd better trained now?"

I smiled, briefly considering if I should lie or tell the truth. "Actually, that's just because I bunked with Parker last night."

"Oh?" Cornelius asked. "You and Syd aren't having second thoughts, are you?"

"No, nothing like that," I said. "It's just that Syd is getting sick, and well..." I thought about how I had promised to use Syd's embarrassing excuse that I couldn't stand sleeping beside him without using him for sex in the night, but I just couldn't do it. "We just don't sleep well together when he's sick." I left it vague.

Cornelius's eyes went wide. "Sick, are you serious? With what?"

"I don't know, a cold, I suppose."

"Well, this is a most serious occasion here at Mareshead, Mr. Groves," he said, sounding angry. "He'll have to be quarantined until his symptoms go away."

"Oh, okay," I said.

"And I need you to tell me everyone he may have touched in the past several days. Even just a hug or a handshake." He got out his writing paper and pen.

"Well, there's me," I said.

"We don't have to worry about you getting sick," he said. "Who else?"

"Well, Annie, Lettie, and Tom."

"There's not much I can do about anyone who has left Mareshead, but I'll alert Dr. Logan in Fools Gold. Who else?"

"Parker," I said.

He wrote the name down.

"Rose."

He wrote her name down too. "Anyone else?"

"Yes, Enid," I said.

"Enid who?"

"I don't know her last name, but the new human girl."

"The one who is always in her underwear?"

"Yes, that's the one."

"Why has Syd been touching her?""

"Well, she had dinner with us recently, together with Rose. Syd barely knows Enid, it was me who made friends with her."

"Oh. If you're sure that's the full extent, then Parker, Rose, and this Enid will all need to be quarantined for a couple days until it can me confirmed that they are asymptomatic. They'll have to be locked in their bedrooms, alone, with no visitors. Well, except for you, I suppose. You're free to visit whomever you choose."

"You're going to have a hard time locking Enid alone in her bedroom, because she's sharing it with three other ladies."

Cornelius noted something down. "Thanks, I'll make sure she gets her own room." He gathered up his papers. "I'm going to discuss this with the staff, and then I'm going to go upstairs to consult Syd myself just to make sure we're not missing anybody."

"Alright."

"Good day, Mr. Groves."

"Good day."

I hadn't been planning on going to Syd's room, but after this new piece of news, I hurried back upstairs as soon as I left Cornelius's office. I knocked politely when I got to his door.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Jake."

"Come in."

I stepped into the room, and gasped when I saw him madly screwing Enid in his bed.

I slammed the door behind me. "You're not supposed to have her in here without me here, you moron!"

"Well, hello to you too, Jakey. We missed you, didn't we, dear?" His voice sounded hoarser, and his nose was clearly totally congested. He sounded plain gross.

"Can't say I missed him much, really," Enid said.

"Get ready for our lives to get whole lot more boring," he said.

"What if Rose comes here?" I asked.

"Oh, come on, I'm not that much of a dolt, Jakey," Syd said. "Rose came by earlier already. She was disgusted by my obvious illness, and left without so much as shaking my Johnson. There's no way she'd come back in here unless it was in a hazmat suit."

"She sounds like she has a lot of sense," I said. I watched as Syd's tongue plunged into Enid's mouth ravenously, and she licked back all over him. "Eew, I can't believe you're kissing him like that when he's all sickly."

"Uh, yeah, his tongue has been all over my mouth since I got here," she said.

"Among other body parts," he said.

"Right. I'm pretty sure whatever he has, I'm going to get too."

It wasn't even the likelihood of passing on the infection that I had been referring to, it was the absolute disgustingness of kissing someone who was overflowing with mucus. But she clearly wouldn't understand a normal person's revulsion to the act, as she so far seemed to display that she was missing that particular emotion in her makeup.

"Well, that's why you're about to get quarantined," I said. "Enid, you need to leave, right now."

"We weren't done yet, Jakey," Syd said.

"I don't care. Cornelius is on his way up here now. When he gets here, Enid absolutely cannot be in here."

"Aww, fucking hell, Jakey. Why'd you have to go and tell Cornelius for? I hate being cooped up in my room."

"I'll stay with you," she said. "I can think of all sorts of ways we could pass the time."

"Nope, that's not going to happen," I said. "Enid is getting quarantined for a few days too."

"With Syd?"

"Alone," I said.

"No! I won't do it! What are they going to do, lock me in a room?"

"That's exactly what they'll do," I said.

"Oh, I am so breaking out," she said.

"Right now you are leaving," I said. I pulled her off the bed.

"Jesus Christ, will you let me put my clothes back on first? What, do you expect me to just go out there naked?" She put on her barely there underwear and stilettos. "There, much better."

I opened the door for her and shut it quickly behind me.

Syd gave me a nasty look. "I can't believe yer getting me locked up, Jakey," he said. "I hate being quarantined."

"Apparently, keeping some sort of deadly outbreak from occurring here does not rank nearly as high as your own personal pampering."

"Damn right, Jakey. Now, I'm hungry, and I'm gonna get some lunch down at the mess hall. `Scuse me."

"Don't you understand that you can't leave this room? You're sick. I'll run down and get you some lunch, if that's what you need."

"Fine, you do that then, errand boy."

"Thanks for always saying something to demean me whenever I do you a favor."

"You're welcome," he said.

"Um, was the sarcasm in my voice not apparent enough?" I asked as I left the room and headed down to the mess hall.

Twenty minutes later, I came back to the apartment, a bag of food in my hand. I noticed two guards were sitting in chairs that were down the hallway from Syd's door, clearly close enough to watch the door without being close enough to overhear anything inside. Cornelius was outside Syd's door, speaking with him through the three inches of wood.

"Thank you so much for your cooperation, Mr. Logan," said Cornelius, and I realized he had a surgical mask and latex gloves on. "Ah, here's your finance now. You go on ahead inside, Mr. Groves. Syd's already told me how you love to serve as nurse to him when he's sick, that you wouldn't have anyone else ever taking care of his needs, so we're going to give you full access to this room. Just be sure you wash your hands thoroughly every time you leave."

"Ah, okay," I said, once again angry with Syd.

Cornelius took a few cautious steps back and I opened the door and stepped inside.

Syd appeared in just a towel, reaching over and hugging me for Cornelius to see, and it was all I could do not to shove him away. "Hi, sweetheart, give your ol' man a kiss," he said, not waiting for me to respond before sticking his gross, snotty face into mine, covering my lips with his own. When his tongue entered my mouth, I had to stop myself from gagging.

I pulled myself away. "Hi, dear," I said to him, trying to sound as pleasant as possible.

"Cornelius told me we'll be getting plenty of quality time locked up here together while I ride this bug out," he said. He grabbed my butt. "I told him all you'd want to use the time as an excuse to have a preview of the honeymoon."

"Now, for the time being, I think it would be prudent to put our morning meetings on hold," Cornelius said.

"That's really smart of ya, considering Jakey here won't be able to walk in the mornings after I've been riding him hard all night, right sweetheart?"

"Mmmm," I said simply.

Cornelius laughed. "Perhaps you can leave the grim details of your activities to my imagination. What's certain is that Mr. Groves will be needed here, we have most of the critical wedding details all worked out. Now, Jake, I'm not expecting that you'll be holed up here all the time."

"How come hearing the words Jake' and hole' in the same sentence together gives me a boner, Cornelius?" Syd asked, grabbing his crotch through his towel.

"I'm not qualified to answer medical questions. Perhaps you should call Dr. Logan to ask her. Jake, you can come and go as you wish, and I gave Syd simple bell. If you're not in the room, whenever he needs you, all he'll have to do is ring it. The guards outside will hear it, and send the whole staff to find you and bring you to your fiancé as soon as possible."

Syd held up a large, shiny new bell to show me, looking very proud. "We'll get a lot of mileage out of this one, I'm sure."

"Now, I assume you are okay with blood, since you've just been feeding from Mr. Groves since you got here," Cornelius said to him.

"Well, I haven't gotten my special sugar today yet, but I'm sure Jakey will remedy that real soon."

"Great, then I'll leave you to it. Please take good care of him, Mr. Groves, and feel better soon, Mr. Logan."

"Thank you, Corny," Syd said with a pleasant wave as Cornelius shut the door. "Now, where's my lunch? All that fucking has worked up a major appetite."

I pulled the food out of the bag and gave it to him. "There you are, Syd."

He looked down at the food on the tray and made a face. "What the hell is this?"

"That's hummus with pita bread, and that's tofu and eggplant quinoa."

"Ugh, the worst sort of rabbit food. I ain't eatin' this."

"Well then, you can just walk down to the mess hall and get yourself something far less sophisticated."

"Maybe I will," Syd said, walking towards the door. "I'll cough on everyone I pass and wipe my snot all over every door handle, and if anyone complains I'll just tell `em that my fiancé wouldn't get me a proper meal."

"Ooo, ouch," I said. "Good thing that's my lunch. Good think I'm not one of those guys who gets his jollies torturing others by ordering food for them that he knows they'll hate, expecting them to eat it. Good thing I'm above all that."

"Alright, you made yer point, Jakey. What'd you really get me?"

"I got you the worst thing on the menu: cheese sticks deep fried in lard grease and covered in fake nacho cheese."

"That's what I had for breakfast, Jakey, but it'll do," he said as I tossed him his meal.

After both of us finished our lunches, Syd said, "Those cheese sticks were damn tasty, but somehow I'm still not fulfilled."

"I can get you more if you're still hungry," I said.

"I'm not hungry for more cheese sticks, Jakey," he said, an evil twinkle in his eyes. "I seem to recall that it's yer cockblocking fault that I'm without blood today, and I gotta major load to blow too. Now, I expect ya to make that right, Jakey. After all, yer the only person who's allowed to see me."

"No way," I said. "My week's not through yet, I'm not due to give you that sort of payment today."

"Well, what in blazes am I supposed to do?"

"Don't worry, I'll get you blood from downstairs."

He groaned. "I hate cold blood!"

"Why don't I get them to heat it up first?" I suggested.

"It's not about temperature. It's just not alive. Drinking living blood is like having great sex. Dead blood is like, well like drinking blood would be for you, I guess. Salty, boring, and sort of strange."

"Well, it's that or nothing, Syd."

"Fine, get it for me already."

I went downstairs into the huge main kitchen area, and found the refrigerator that I had seen Giggles get that blood from. I opened it up, and saw the whole thing was loaded with blood packets. I found it most disturbing.

Just when I started to pull out some of the blood, somebody reached around me and slammed the door shut on my fingers.

"Hey!" I said, pulling back my hand. "I just need some blood for a friend!"

"You can't just take whatever blood you feel like!" said a human male member of the staff, the guy who had slammed the door shut. He looked quite angry. "There's not enough blood to just let anyone have it. There's a process." He held up a ratty looking, handwritten notebook as if that was obvious evidence of "the process." "Hey, look Marv, we got Syd's fiancé here." He said that with a certain amount of derision.

"No kiddin,'" Marv said, a quite rotund fellow coming up to support the first guy.

"Okay, how do I get the blood?" I asked.

The first guy opened his notebook. "Everyone that is currently approved to be receiving blood is right here. Hey, guess what, Marv? Syd's name ain't here. It ain't ever been here, `cause he only drinks live blood."

"Everyone knows that," Marv said.

"You know what I hear, Marv? I been hearing that this here fellow is con. That he's not really romantically involved with Syd, and since he got here, he hasn't done his duty as fiancé by giving his blood to Syd one single time, that Syd has been secretly relying on others for his blood. Now, it seems awfully suspicious to me that he comes down here trying to swipe blood for Syd when he should just be laying down and letting Syd bed him directly."

"Maybe the Governor would like to know yer suspicions," Marv said.

"Probably."

I needed to think of something fast. "I said I was getting the blood for a friend," I said. "I didn't mean Syd. Syd just gets his blood from me, so why would he need blood?"

"Well then, who exactly do you need the blood for?" asked the Kitchen Fascist.

"Uh, Parker."

"Parker Logan?" he asked suspiciously.

"No, Parker Posey."

He looked at his list. "I ain't got that guy."

I rolled my eyes. "No, I did mean Parker Logan."

He looked seriously pissed as he looked down at his notebook again. "Yup, Parker's on the list, he wants us to give his daily allotment to you? He usually comes for it."

"No, I'll take it," I said. "Parker's been quarantined, so he can't make it."

"Well, we could still deliver it to his room."

"No, no need chancing you'll get his potentially fatal diseases," I said. "I'll take it, thank you."

The guy made some huge, angry marks around Parker's name, clearly taking whatever frustration he had towards me out on his poor notebook. "Marv, get it for him."

"Thanks so much, Marv, you're the best," I said cheerfully as he glumly handed me the blood packets.

When I had to walk past those two seating guards down the hall from Syd's door, I stuffed the packets inside my shirt, not wanting to arouse suspicion. My shirt looked so ridiculous, I walked past them with my back turned to them so they wouldn't be able to see.

"Hello, sir," one of them said happily as I passed.

"Hello," I said, waving to them behind my back but never turning around to face them properly, hoping they wouldn't stop me.

I made it to Syd's door, and let myself in.

"Paydirt," I said, dropping the blood on the dresser.

"Thanks, Jakey," he said, grabbing one of the packets and ripping into it with his fangs, devouring the blood messily. It was very, very gross to watch, and I had to turn away to avoid feeling faint.

"Eew, can't you just drink it with the straw like a normal vampire?" I asked, still in disbelief that "normal vampire" had become a part of my lexicon.

"No, this is much more fun," he said through the runny slurps.

"Oh, don't drink more than half," I said. "This is really Parker's allotment, so save him the second half."

Syd sneered. "Jakey, this is just enough for one day's helping," he said. "If ya want me to just drink half, you'll have to let me use your body sexually, and then let me drink yer blood. I promise just to take half of my normal allotment." Clearly he was mocking my suggestion. "'Course, Parker would need the other half of his allotment today too, so get ready to get fucked and drained by him as well."

"Forget it, Syd. Just take it all. I'll figure out something for Parker. I'm leaving now, unless you need anything else."

He pulled his mouth off the blood packet he was devouring, dark red smeared all over his lips and chin. "Just a sloppy goodbye kiss from my sweetheart," he said, his nose sounding totally congested with loose mucus. He flicked his wet, bloody tongue at me obscenely.

"Eew, not on your life," I said.

"Actually, I do have a problem with you leaving," he said. "This room is boring as hell to be holed up in by myself. Why don't you just hang out? We could play poker."

"You don't have any chips," I said.

"So? I'll play the kind of poker I play with the ladies, where we play for shots and articles of clothing. Come on, it'll be fun, I promise. When am I not fun?"

"I just can't, I've got to get Parker's situation figured out."

"Well, you'd better not be long," he said. "These guards are friends of mine, Jakey. One word from me and they'll find you and bring you here, lock you in until I'm good and ready for you to leave."

"Holy crap, I said I'd be back soon," I persisted, opening the door and leaving him.

When I got to Parker's apartment, I noticed that there was a guard posted down the hall of his room as well, though this one was around the corner of his door. There was probably less security there because Parker had not yet demonstrated any symptoms. I knocked on his door. "It's Jake."

"Sorry, Jake. You can't come in, I've been quarantined."

"No, I've gotten special permission to come and go as I please from Cornelius," I said. "Given my unusual invulnerabilities."

He opened the door. "Come on in," he said. "I was babysitting Lewis all morning when suddenly they told me I might be at risk of getting ill, and that I was required to stay in my room for a couple days." As he shut the door behind me, I noticed he had dressed back in one of his 19th century suits again, with one of his prosthetic legs installed.

"Parker, I made a major error," I said. "You're not going to be happy with me."

"Whatever it is, I doubt there's anyway I could be angry with you, Jake. You know you're my best friend here." I was touched, but not really reassured.

"I needed to get Syd blood from the refrigerator, but they were expecting me to be providing blood to Syd personally, which I was not okay with. I mean, I don't even give blood to hospitals, which I know saves peoples' lives, because I just can't deal with the whole process. But it's not even about that, it's that he can't feed without sleeping with somebody. Anyway, I went down to get Syd some blood, but they had the blood on a tight lockdown, and I had to tell them I was picking up your blood in order for them to give me any at all. I had figured they would give me enough for both you and Syd, but it turns out that they just give out barely enough for one day, and Syd's already drank that. See? Are you sure you're not mad at me?"

"Not really, Jake, though I must admit I was rather annoyed that Syd was so willing to use up my supply. Guess I shouldn't expect anything more from him."

"So, just tell me what to do," I pleaded. "I'll do whatever it takes to get your blood today. I was thinking, you know, maybe you should just drink from me."

"What?" he asked, alarmed.

"I mean, I'm just saying that because I know you aren't like your brother, and feeding doesn't have to require sex for you."

"It doesn't, know. But I have to say no, because no matter how much I would wish it otherwise, there's no way I could feed on you without being extremely turned on. It's very kind of you to offer, you again prove what a good guy you are, but I can't willingly put you in a situation where you will be sexually objectified. Don't worry about it, Jake. I'll get the blood on my own."

I felt sad at this response, but couldn't figure out why. "How will you do that?" I asked.

"Did you forget about this neat little gimmick?" he asked, his body turning invisible in front of me. "Lucky for me, only a few people here know I can do this. I suppose I shouldn't be outside of my room, but let me assure you, I don't feel the least bit sick. I would be shocked if I ended up getting Syd's cold. I'll just go get some from the kitchen without anyone knowing I was there."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"Yes, actually," he said. "If you opened the doors for me, it would save me a lot of time. Just make sure you open them long enough for me to slip by in front of you, then walk through and shut the door."

"Sounds easy."

"Thanks, Jake."

"Hey, it's the least I could do, considering I was the one who caused the problem in the first place."

I opened Parker's door, felt Parker walk through it ahead of me, went through it myself, and shut it behind me. Easy. I walked down around the corner of the hall, waving hello to the guard posted in his chair.

"Done in there already?" he asked me.

"Yes, all done," I said. "Parker's still in there, by the way." I hoped I had managed to sell the lie.

"Well, obviously," he mumbled.

"Yup, still there, just by his lonesome." I felt Parker push me gently to keep on moving. "All right, goodbye now," I said to the man, walking down the hall.

When we made it into the kitchen area, I felt Parker pull me back. "There's someone guarding the refrigerator," he whispered to me.

"That's Marv," I said. "A rather unpleasant fellow."

"Can you come up with a diversion of some sort that will get him away from the fridge?" he whispered.

"Umm, sure, I'll think of something," I said, and I felt Parker move off of me towards the center of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say to me?"

I turned to see the Kitchen Fascist standing right beside me, apparently appearing out of thin air. "Nothing," I said.

"Are you sure? Cause it sounded like you said you were thinking about something. How bout you share whatever it is you were thinking about. And how `bout, if it's something I don't like, I call the Governor to sort it out."

I stared into his face, not knowing what to say. "Ahh!" I screamed, pointing. "I just saw a rat run past! A rat!"

"Where?!" the guy asked, turning around.

"Right there!" I started jumping up and down, shrieking. "Oh my god, a rat, a rat!" Everyone in my area of the kitchen was looking at me, including Marv, who had stepped a couple feet away from the fridge. "If the Governor hears his kitchen is infested, there will be no end to the pain and suffering he'll cause! He HATES rats!"

"Everyone, look for the rat, and see if we can kill it," the Kitchen Fascist said, and he grabbed onto my arm and held me there. "And don't think I'm going to just let you wander around by yourself, buddy."

"No, I wouldn't dream of it. The vermin went right over here," I said, pointing towards the area of the kitchen that was the farthest away from the fridge.

All the workers moved towards that area, carefully looking around the floors. Marv grabbed a large knife and looked around as well, moving well away from the fridge.

I saw the fridge door open suddenly, though I couldn't see anyone around it. I then saw packets of blood fly into the air out of the fridge before disappearing into thin air, and then the frig was shut quietly.

I realized I wasn't going anywhere unless the guy let go of my arm. "You know what? It might have been my imagination."

"Oh, great," the guy said, angry. "Alright, everybody back to work. And why did you come down here anyway, you nutcase?"

"Uh, I wanted an iced tea, and I figured since I was such good friends with the kitchen staff, I could just come down directly to get it here instead of waiting in line at the mess hall."

"Aw, well, as chummy I am with ya, pal, yer just gonna have to wait in line like every other fucking customer."

"My mistake," I said, and turned and left the kitchen.

I carefully opened all the doors on the way back to Parker's, feeling Parker squeezing past my body each time, before finally getting into his apartment and shutting the door.

He turned visible again, showing me the packets of blood in his hands, a huge smile on his face. "I really did not think that rat excuse would work, but I guess I didn't give you the credit you deserved."

"Let me write my acceptance speech for the best actor Oscar I'm bound to win," I joked.

"Uh, another one of your modern jokes that went right over my head, I'm afraid. Hey, feel free to take that bath you didn't have time for this morning," he said.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked. "Because I can easily use Syd's."

"I don't mind. You can pick between bathing in my tub or Syd's. If you want to wallow in what is likely the most unhygienic piece of porcelain in Texas while Syd litters you with inappropriate sexual remarks, then by all means, go ahead and bathe there."

I laughed. "So, I see you've bathed in Syd's tub before," I joked. "I don't know, though. I don't want to get any of my germs in your sterile tub."

"I don't think you are technically capable of creating germs, Jake," he said. "You are a walking, breathing sterilization machine. If anything, you'll only make my tub cleaner. Have at it." He walked over and turned on the water. "Let me know if you want your privacy, and I can leave the room."

"Not without turning invisible you can't," I said. "Silly to risk using that power needlessly. Really, I'm fine."

I pulled off my clothes and jumped in the warm water of the tub.

I noticed something that was very cute: Parker very deliberately kept his eyes away from the part of the room I was in, focusing on the wall in front of him as he sat on the bed and sipped his blood through the straw, in a very polite, controlled fashion that put Syd to shame.

"Parker, I don't think you'll turn to stone if you catch a glimpse of me in the tub," I joked with him. He had been so careful to start looking away as soon as I started to undress. "But I can understand if it grosses you out to see me naked."

"Oh no, Jake," he said, shaking his head. "That's not at all why I'm not looking at you. You're a man of great beauty, and looking at you is quite, um, pleasing, in fact. It's just that I want to show you the respect you deserve."

"You're going to make me feel bad if I've thought I put you through any sort of annoyance by bathing over here," I said as I scrubbed myself with soap. "Please, just forget I'm here, and do whatever you would normally be doing."

"Alright, if you insist," he said. He walked over to his desk, still sipping his blood, and sat down in his chair, looking down and reading something there. The desk was facing away from my direction anyway, and he never even looked back.

I finished my bath and got dressed in clean clothes, feeling very refreshed. Parker's bath had felt so much cleaner than Syd's ever had.

"Jake, I have a favor to ask you," he said to me, looking up from his desk after I was clothed.

"Yes?"

"If you have some free time, would you mind looking after Lewis? I had to leave him alone when they brought me here, and I've been worried about him."

"Yeah, of course," I said. "I was actually thinking the same thing myself."

"Last I saw him, he was in the mess hall. Some preteens told me they'd watch him, but I just feel awful about abandoning him."

"I'm on it," I said. "Anything you need, food or drink or whatever, you should be able to ask your guard for."

"Thanks, Jake. Good luck."

When I got to the mess hall, I found Lewis playing with a number of kids his age, with a vampire girl who looked about 13 or so watching them. I thanked her for looking after him, and she told me that she loved babysitting, and secretly desired to start her own business.

Lewis was concerned about Parker being quarantined (which he adorably mispronounced), though I assured him he'd be just fine. He was also worried about his mother, and asked if I had heard anything about her. I told her I hadn't but I was sure she was fine too.

I was down there for about an hour before I saw several urgent looking vampire guards come into the room and fan out, looking carefully. One of them spotted me quickly.

"Sir, you'll have to come with us," he said. "There's an emergency regarding your fiancé."

I found the thirteen year old and asked her if she could babysit again, and she told me she would, but with serious business savvy, she refused to give out more than one freebie to customers, so I'd have to pay her. I told her Syd Logan would be picking up the tab, and she agreed.

I was quickly escorted upstairs to Syd's place.

"What is the emergency?" I asked as I walked into the room.

"Jakey, you're not gonna believe this," came Syd's voice from inside the closet.

"What? What?!"

"I figured out how to strum my guitar using just my dick!"

He walked out of the closet, and I could see he was fully clothed in his typical cowboy gear, and he had his acoustic guitar in his hands.

"THAT was the emergency I got pulled up here for?" I asked angrily. "Why couldn't this have waited until I came up here on my own? Or, better yet, until never?"

"Yeah, you'll say that until you see it in action, Jakey, and then you'll be speechless. Let me show you."

He pulled his guitar out so it wasn't blocking his crotch, and I could see that his fly was open and his huge, rockhard dick was jutting out of it. He used his left hand to hold down a chord on his guitar, then he skillfully slammed his steel rod into the strings, plucking them. It looked like it would hurt a normal man, but the vampires seemed to have extra durable phalluses, and instead of pain, there was only excitement on Syd's face, even as he played a few more chords.

"See? Ain't that incredible?"

"How can you do that without hurting yourself?" I asked.

"My dick is like a fuckin' buffalo, Jakey. It takes a lot to hurt it. Ain't that something?"

"It's something, alright," I said.

"Ya know, I was about to die of boredom locked up in this coop, let me tell you. I already did everything obvious I could think of doing with my time, like take a bath, or see how many Marlboros I could smoke at once. You know, all the old geniuses had to learn how to strip away all the distractions, sex, food, all of it, and then once their minds are truly empty, once they are bored as all hell, that's only when true inspirational shit comes a knockin.'"

"I doubt all of the geniuses used that same approach, Syd."

"They did, look it goddamn up! And so, I guess it's no big surprise that a genius mind like mine would come up with something that's just as fucking brilliant as those suckers once I cleared my head for once. I mean, I was the first one to come up with that shit, and goddamn, this could change the world one fucking concert at a time."

He played me another chord just to demonstrate.

"I just can't stop blowing my mind!"

"Somebody call the US Patent Office, quick! But it sounds a little distorted to me."

"That's just `cause I ain't getting all the strings plucked as efficiently as when I was using my hand. I'll get there, and then I might even be able to swing some lead guitar with my dick. I just need practice. That's why I needed you so quickly, Jakey. I'm gonna put on a concert for you, and all you have to do is sit there and be fuckin' bedazzled."

"Syd, I can't stay here. I have other things to do."

"Nah, I waited for all day for you to come back here."

"Syd, it's been like three hours. If you hadn't thrown the only clock in here away, you might have known that."

"Whatever, Jakey. I missed you like a madman, and now you're gonna sit down and hear my concert. I promise, once I'm done, you can goddamn run out on me like you always do. I'm not letting the guards let you walk out of here `til I say you can."

"Fine," I said, pulling up Syd's desk chair and taking a seat, folding my arms.

Syd played an eight song set using his ridiculous new trick, with me amazed that he could stay hard enough to strike the chords through the entire performance, though I guessed that any activity that combined his love of country music with his love of his own penis, and an audience to boot, would be like pure Viagra for the guy.

After his eight songs were blessedly over, he insisted I stand up and give him applause while he waved adoringly and ran off into the closet, which he was suddenly referring to as "his backstage dressing room." When I finally stopped applauding and expected to be let out of the room, he stuck his head out of the closet and angrily informed me that I was to keep cheering until he came out for his encore, letting me know that shouting out sycophantic pleadings (not his exact choice of words) would be highly encouraged.

He shut the closet door again, and would only emerge after I had thoroughly embarrassed myself yelling generous praises and begging him for more at the top of my lungs. Then he came out, thanked me for my rabid fanaticism, and asked me to please sit down again for his encore.

Those catchy opening chords seemed annoyingly familiar, though I couldn't place the tune until he started to sing the all too familiar words: "Jakey LOOOVES my dick, cause he knows it's bigger than anything he ever saw in a porno flick. Yeah, Jakey LOOOVES my dick..."

While singing these humiliating lines, he slammed away at his strings with his penis harder than ever.

All false enthusiasm I had shown before faded as I shook my head. "No, you are not playing THAT song and expecting me to listen."

"Oh damn right I am, Jakey," he sung, and then continued. When he started in on his gringo- pronunciation Spanish seemingly just to grate me, singing, "Jakey ama mi verga," I could take no more.

"I'm leaving," I said, and walked out the door, wondering if he would choose to make good on his threat to have the guards force me to stay. He let me go, still singing that song as I shut the door behind me.

The two guards were looking at me with ridiculous smiles on their faces. "What, do I have something on me?" I asked looking over my clothes.

"Nope," said one of them. "We're just having a good laugh `cause a couple minutes ago, we heard you yelling for him to screw you."

"What? I was not!"

"Oh, come on," said the second guard. "Half the house could hear you screaming that you loved him, and you begging for him to continue."

"Now we know exactly what the `emergency' was all about," said the first guard. "This guy had a three-alarm fire in his ass, and only Syd could put it out with his seed."

"Eew, gross," I said. "That's not at all what was going on. Listen through the wall, you can hear Syd playing his music. He was just giving me a concert."

Both the guards put their ears through the walls. "What do you hear?" the first guy asked.

"I hear Syd singing about how Jake loves his dick, `cause it's way bigger than any Johnson in any porno flick."

"Yeah, I bet he begs to hear that song after he's been royally ding-donged."

"I'm not even going to dignify this claim with a denial," I said, walking past them.

"I didn't get what smartypants just said." One of them whispered to the other.

"He just basically admitted to the whole thing."

When I got back to the mess hall, Lewis was still under the watchful eyes of the 13 year old, and I thanked her. I started playing cards with Lewis, and the two of us were having a good time. After about an hour, the mess hall started filling up with dinner guests, and the band started to play on stage.

"Your fiancé is ringing his bell again," said a new guard right in the middle of a game of Old Maid.

"Alright," I said.

I asked the 13 year old to take my cards and play for me as I was escorted upstairs.

"Jakey, I'm hungry, and it's suppertime," Syd complained as soon as I walked in.

"Alright, what do you want to eat? I'll go get it."

"Honestly, I'd like to eat yer cute butthole, and then give my talented dick a taste of yer ass too."

"Sorry, you'll have to order what's on the mess hall menu," I said.

"That ain't on the menu, ya sure? Well then, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, and Twinkies for dessert. But I want you to bring up your supper too so we can eat together." He ran his hand over my butt. "I'm lonely, and I want us to break bread together."

I rolled my eyes. "I really don't have the time for this," I said.

"It's only one meal, Jakey, and you have to eat it anyway. `Sides, I didn't remember giving you a choice."

I groaned. "Fine, but as soon as I'm done eating, I'm leaving. No other shenanigans."

"What kind of fella do you take me for, Jakey? I'm a true Parker-class gentleman!"

I went downstairs and asked the 13 year old to get dinner and eat it with Lewis, and she agreed, but insisted on twice what I had agreed to pay her the last time. I ordered our dinners, and carried the food back up to Syd's room.

When I walked in the apartment, I noticed the lights had been dimmed, and Syd had set up his desk as a make-shift table, probably because there wasn't any proper dining table in the room. "Jakey, look," he said, motioning towards the desk. "I know you like romantic dinners, so I lit a candle for us." He motioned towards a cheap birthday candle that was sitting on the desk without a candlestick, looking like more of a fire hazard than anything romantic. "And I know you get off on clean spaces, so I cleaned it up real nice."

I looked at the desk, and saw that he had in fact cleared off the mounds of clutter and garbage that he usually left on that desk, as there had never been a person in less of a need of a desk, since Syd didn't ever read for pleasure and he certainly wasn't sitting there writing poems or anything. The only reason he had a desk in Tahoe was to hold his laptop, and the only reason he used a laptop was to cruise hookup sites and take cam videos of his sex acts. Since none of that applied in the 19th century, his desk went sadly ignored for way too long, serving as just clutter collector more than anything else.

A quick survey of the surrounding area told me that he hadn't cleaned up the trash on the desk so much as shoved it onto the floor, but I said, "Thanks for cleaning up for me, Syd," anyway, knowing it was at least more cleaning up than that desk had ever seen.

I got out our meals and placed them on the desk, carefully putting down napkins and silverware in their proper table-settings. When we sat down to eat, Syd used his knife and fork, and I was truly impressed; he only did that when he was trying to fool people into thinking he was much more gentlemanly than he truly was. Of course, that only lasted for about three minutes before he got frustrated and just started shoveling the food in his mouth with his hands.

"Wanna see a neat trick?" he asked.

I winced as I looked at the state of his last bite in his mouth. "Does it involve you waiting to ask questions until your mouth isn't full?" I asked. "Because that would sure be neat."

"Nope, even better," he said.

He grabbed a piece of cheese covered macaroni with his fingers, and he threw it high into the air. He opened his mouth, not even looking at the food above him, and the macaroni landed with a splat right in his maw, cheese splashing all over. "Cool, huh?"

"If by cool you mean messy and repulsive, then yes," I said.

"Okay, but wait till you see THIS. Jakey, I want you to grab some mac and cheese and throw it up towards me from over by the bed."

I made a face. "I'm SO not touching your disgusting macaroni with my hands, sorry. I'm sure Enid will be thrilled to throw a whole plate of macaroni at you with all sorts of her body parts when she's released from quarantine. Why don't you just wait for her?"

"No way, believe or not, I always liked you better than her anyway."

"Okay, I'll do it, but only if I can throw my lima beans, those are much less messy."

"Gross, Jakey! Okay, but if I have to eat the lima beans, you have to help me place them for all my tricks."

"Fine, anything will be worth the look on your face when you have to swallow the beans."

I grabbed some lima beans (obviously from my plate), walked a few feet away from Syd, and threw one up in the air. He opened his mouth, moved under the bean, and caught it.

"That was too easy," I said. "Try two at once."

I threw one, then the other a second later. He downed the first, then moved superhumanly fast just in time to catch the second.

"But wait, there's more!" he said excitedly. "This is the best part."

He unzipped his pants and pulled out his huge unit, which was already mostly hard.

"Jakey, I need you to load and operate my flesh catapult."

"What do I have to do?" I asked

"Just balance the bean on the spot just below my cocktip, aim, pull down, and release."

"Your dick's not even fully hard," I said.

"Well. Shake it up a bit, it'll come to."

I grabbed his partially hard dick in my hand and shook it in my hand until it became fully hard, which wasn't long. His dick was pointed up, so first I used my right hand to pull it down to it was parallel to the ground. I used my left hand to load the bean, the carefully aimed it.

"Ready?"

"Go for it."

I did as he asked, and was amazed to see the bean land right in his mouth. The catapult had some real power to it.

"Damn, you know how to handle my dick better than any other, Jakey," he said. "It's like yer hand was made by God himself to operate my equipment."

"Let's hope God has a better plan for me than that," I said.

"I think other people would like to see this trick, Jakey. You and I should take this show on the road."

"Sorry, it was a one time thing,"

"Actually, I lied, I don't need you to operate the catapult at all, I can do it on my own, without touching."

He grabbed another lima bean and stuck it on his dickhead.

"See? No hands!"

Even without touching his dick, he was able to spring the thing up into the air with just as much power as I had done with my hands, just using that muscle on ones penis that one uses to stop urinating. It easily went in his open mouth.

"Fuck yeah! See?" he asked me. "Wasn't this dinner date something?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't the most romantic dinner I've ever had with someone." He seemed to look wounded, so I added, "But I suppose it was amusing in its own way. Now I have to go back downstairs."

"Please don't leave me long, Jakey," he pleaded. "Come back and spend the evening with me, we can play games, mess around, do whatever. I'm feeling high on energy, and I know I can go late into the night."

"Syd, I told you, I don't have time to be hanging around here."

"Oh, come on, whatever you have going on can wait."

"I'm leaving."

"Alright, but I'll be calling you back soon, and next time, I'm not letting you leave until I'm sawing logs."

Irritated, I left his room and went back down to the mess hall, trying to come up with a way to get him to sleep as quickly as possible. Downstairs, I asked for a bottle of apple juice and a bottle of whiskey. I went into the bathroom, emptied the bottle of whiskey, and filled the empty bottle with the apple juice. It looked a little too dark for whiskey, so I diluted it with some water until it looked right. I hoped that would work.

I found the vampire preteen playing with Lewis, and dismissed her thankfully. I apologized to Lewis for not being around like I should have been, and we played games for an hour.

I saw the familiar vampire guards come into the room, looking for me, and I knew they'd drag me away. I tried to find the preteen, but she was nowhere to be found, and Lewis told me she had gone home with her parents. I didn't feel right just leaving Lewis by himself, and I couldn't take him with me, so I looked around desperately for someone who could look after him.

I only found Tucker, who was sitting on a barstool. Goodness, I was the worst babysitter ever if I was forced to leave Lewis in the care of that alcoholic. I grabbed Lewis's hand and pulled him towards the bar.

"Is that for me?" Tucker asked happily, pointing at my bottle of apple juice.

"Trust me, you wouldn't like this," I said. "I need you to look after Lewis until I come back."

"Lewis?" he asked, looking down at the guy. Luckily, he didn't yet seem at all drunk. He must have just gotten there.

"Please keep him out of trouble, Tucker," I said. "Remember, this is the Governor's favorite boy in your care. And you are so not allowed to drink anything until I get back."

"Christ, alright."

"Sir, your fiancé needs you immediately," said one of the guards, pulling me towards the door.

"Tucker, I'm counting on you. Lewis, be good until I get back."

"Okay, Jake. I will."

I grabbed a fold out card table from the mess hall and took that with me as well, not liking the idea particularly well of having to sit and play cards on Syd's bed.

"Jakey, you were gone longer than you said you would be," Syd complained as soon as I walked in.

"I know," I said, setting up the card table. "But I'm taking you up on your poker game suggestion."

His face lit up. "Hee-ha, Jakey!" he hollered, jumping off the bed and grabbing his two chairs from the desk. "But if we play, we play with my rules."

"That's why I brought this," I said, showing him my false whiskey bottle.

"Nice, Jakey! See? The more yer around me, the more ya think like I do."

"If that was true, I'd sever all contact with you immediately, and put as many miles between us as humanly possible just to be safe."

He laughed. "Come on, I know you don't mean that."

"Grab your cards, Syd," I said.

He somehow found his deck of cards in the clutter on the floor in no time, almost as if he had some sort of extra sensory perception related to only things that related to gambling, and threw them on the table as I sat down, my bottle at hand.

"Now, I don't have shot glasses up here, so we'll just play for swigs from the bottle. I'll just share yer whiskey with you," he said.

That would ruin my plan completely. "No, get your own," I said.

"What's the problem with sharing?"

"You're sick," I said.

"But you're immune."

"Look, it just grosses me out, okay? What's the big deal about you drinking out of your own bottle?"

"Alright, don't get yer panties pulled up yer butt, I'll get my own." He went to his minibar and retrieved a large bottle of his own stuff, which had of course been already partially consumed, but he seemed to have a lot more where that came from. He sat down with the bottle and started to shuffle. "Now, when I play poker this way with drinking involved, since neither one of us has chips to run out of, it's a lot harder to know when someone has won the night. So, the victor is always the one still standing at the end of the game. Whoever's the first body to hit the floor tonight, whoever can't hack it in the drinks department, or whoever quits the game first, that fella owes the survivor a HUGE favor, their reward for winning the game."

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's whatever is agreed to now, before the game starts. For me, you'll owe me the hottest fuck of my life. That means I can finally ride that pretty ass all night long if I want to."

I groaned, not liking his sexual favor one iota. Under normal circumstances, if there was any possible way I might have to agree to let him top me, I would have never signed on. But I looked at the bottle of watered-down apple juice in my bottle, and knew I had a total lock on this. His favor request made no difference because there was no possible way I was losing this. And I kept having the gut feeling that Lewis needed me downstairs, and I told myself I couldn't just abandon the poor guy.

"Deal," I said. "But if I win, you have to clean your whole room up. That means tidying up all of your junk."

"My junk is plenty tidy already, Jakey," he said, grabbing his crotch. "I washed my unit just recently. If ya don't believe me, you can do a sniff check on it. And if ya still don't believe me, you'd better lick it to be sure."

"Tidying up your stuff, rather," I continued. "Washing every hard surface with cleaner. Making the bed, washing the windows. The room better be spotless."

He narrowed his eyes. "Sounds fucking boring as hell. Your favor is lot more painful than mine," he complained. "Mine is fun for both of us."

"Uh, excuse me?" I asked. "If you think I'd be in less pain with you topping me, perhaps you don't realize how well endowed you are. Which, considering your ego is the only thing on you bigger than your penis, I know is impossible."

"Sure, I got the biggest cock in the world," he said.

"Don't fall prey to hyperbole or anything, Syd."

"But I think you'll find you like the pain it causes you."

"Oh yeah, because I just love that special pain that comes from a massive, rock-solid tool being ripped through my body. Just tell me, deal or no deal?"

"Of course you do, I always knew you were meant to be a bottom. Deal."

"What do we ante?" I asked as he started to deal.

"Nothing in this game," he said, and that pleased me. That meant I could fold right away if my hand was lousy.

"Ladies always go first," he said.

"Well, then go ahead," I told him.

"Actually, whoever doesn't deal goes first."

He dealt us two cards each face down, and I looked at my cards. A 7 of diamonds and a jack of aces. I checked.

"I'll bet you one swig," he said.

I almost folded, but then looked at the apple juice in my bottle, and said, "I'll see your swig."

"You gonna raise me, Jakey?"

"Nope, I call. Are we even allowed to bet more than one drink a hand?"

"Yeah, but only up to five swigs per hand, and no more than two pieces of clothing, got it? Oh, and you can't ever outright bet or raise by more than one of anything. Okay, here comes the flop," he said, laying down three cards face up. None of them were remotely helpful to me, so I checked.

Syd looked down at his cards with a pained expression. "I ain't got shit, Jakey," he said. "I fold."

I nodded happily.

"Don't you look so smug over there, Jakey. It's just beginner's luck."

"We'll see," I said. "You owe me a drink."

"Alright, alright." He opened his bottle and took a long drink from it before putting it back down. "Tasty. Now you deal."

I collected the cards and started to shuffle.

"Jesus Christ, Jakey, is that the fastest you go?"

"Sorry, some of us haven't logged thousands of hours of at the gambling tables, or else I'm sure I'd be better at it."

"Thousands of hours of gambling?" Syd asked. "Yeah, only if yer just counting last week, Jakey."

I dealt us each two cards face down.

"I'll bet you an article of clothing," he said before I could even look at my cards.

I looked at my hand. A 2 and a 6, lousy, low numbers, and I almost folded right then, but I noticed that they were both clubs, so I called and raised him a drink.

I dealt the flop face up on the table, an 8 of clubs, an ace of hearts and a 10 of clubs.

"I'll betcha one article of clothing, Jakey," Syd said, and I rolled my eyes.

I had no desire to strip, and wanted to fold. But I noticed that two of the cards were clubs, which would mean I had 4 of the 5 needed clubs for a flush, with two more cards left to deal. That meant I had two one in four chances of getting a club, since a quarter of the deck were clubs. Which meant I had almost fifty-fifty odds of getting a club, and that seemed pretty good.

"I'll see your clothes, and raise you a drink," I said.

"Oooh, getting serious over there!" Syd said. "I'll see your swig. Lay the turn on us."

I flipped over a card. It was a 5 of diamonds, not helpful to me. I thought about something, and realized I was over simplifying my math. I wasn't taking into account the fact that four out of six cards that I had knowledge of were clubs. That meant that at the most, there were seven clubs left in that deck, and there were forty-four cards left. That meant I had a seven out of forty four chance, or about 16 %, of the last card being a club. No, that was too high, because if Syd had any clubs in his hand, my 16% would go down. Syd had about a 1 in 16 shot of having two clubs, that seemed unlikely. He had about a 1/4th chance of getting one club in his hand.

Bottom line was, my chances of ending up with a flush were poor. I decided if he raised, I would fold.

"I'll check," he said, and I felt lucky.

I did the same. Then I dealt the final card, called the river, and it was a queen of... spades. I got excited when I saw the black color, but quickly became deflated when I looked closely. That meant I had nothing.

"I fold," he said. "It's yours." He shook his head. "Damn Jakey, you've been practicing on me, haven't you?"

I shook my head. "It's just a matter of understanding odds," I said.

"That's especially true when it's just two people playing, it seems to me. Well, looks like you'll be cleaning house tonight, with all yer fancy math skills. Or maybe it's me who will be cleaning house, as in cleaning my own goddamn apartment as your reward."

"Come on, Syd. Pay up."

"Here goes my boot and my sock," he said, pulling off his left cowboy boot and sock, and then holding up his bare foot to show me. "Never seen a more beautiful man-foot, have ya, Jakey? So big and powerful. If ya got a foot fetish, I'll let ya massage it right now. We'll consider that your little freebie."

"How about you take the two drinks you still owe me instead?" I asked.

"Ooo, a hardass, I like it," he said, grabbing his whiskey and taking two good drinks. "My turn to deal."

The next hand, I had a pair of sevens as soon as Syd put down the flop, and figured I was going to win again, so I started betting drinks. When Syd stated betting like crazy, I stayed in until it was up to two drinks and two pieces of clothes, just like it had been the previous hand, but when he wanted to raise me more than that, I knew he must have something better than my pair, so I folded.

"Take `em off, Jakey," he told me.

I unlaced and pulled off both my shoes and set them aside neatly, leaving me in my black socks.

"And the two drinks," Syd said. "You know, I've never seen you get drunk before. I'm really looking forward to it tonight."

"That's because I've never been drunk before, not even remotely," I said. "Always been really careful. I really haven't had much experience drinking anything but beer or wine, either."

"Yee-haw! All them `never-beens' are gonna be shot to hell tonight, Jakey, and I couldn't be more excited."

"Well, not ALL of the never-beens," I reminded him. "Not if I win."

"Hah, we'll see, Jakey. Now, stop yer stallin' and drink!"

I unscrewed the cap of my bottle and took a big long swig of the diluted apple juice.

"Whoa!" he said. "For someone who never drank hard liquor before, you sure downed it like it was... well, like it was one of my sweet loads of cum, I guess."

Uh-oh, I didn't want him to get suspicious. "Actually, it was horrid," I said. "I just didn't want you to make fun of me."

"You go ahead and show yer emotions, kiddo. No need to bottle them up on my account."

"Alright," I said. "No more bottling for me."

"One more drink!"

I lifted the bottle and took another drink. This time, I made sure to make a face of disgust as I was doing it. "Wow, that sure is bad tasting!" I said.

"And I bet it burns yer virgin throat, too!"

"Yes, oh yes, it burns too," I said, quickly reacting. "It burns like my throat is on fire!"

Syd hollered in pleasure. "If ya want, I got a lot of nice, tasty Syd-cream you could drink that would put out any fire."

"I'll survive, thanks."

I dealt us the next hand. I had two pair as soon as I put down the flop, so I bet as much as I could after that point, and he folded, losing out on two pieces of clothing and two drinks.

He did the two drinks first. "Alright, startin' to feel a nice little buzz," he said. Then he pulled off his other boot and sock, putting his bare foot on the table in front of me. "Did you have enough whiskey yet to change your mind about that foot massage?"

"I'd die of alcohol poisoning long before I'd ever change my mind, Syd."

"I always thought that would be a fun way to go, myself. Too bad vampires can't die from alcohol, we just fall over drunk."

"Your deal," I said, trying to move this along as quickly as possible, keeping my mind on Lewis.

"Right."

The next hand, I had a pair of twos right from the start, and started betting. The flop didn't help me at all, so I wasn't sure what to do, but decided to keep up with Syd's raises. That was until the turn was turned over, which was not a two, so I folded after Syd bet a second piece of clothing.

I ended up owing him three drinks and one piece of clothing. I took off my right sock and took three swigs of the apple juice, while pretending to hate it, with Syd hollering and encouraging me.

During the next hand, while I was adding up in my head the odds of getting the cards I needed, doing the math, I felt Syd's bare foot rubbing my own. He must have been distracting me on purpose, because I realized I miscalculated some of the odds, and I lost that hand. I ended up taking off my other sock and shoe, and taking three more drinks.

"You feeling buzzed yet, Jakey?" Syd asked me hopefully.

I wasn't sure what to say. I supposed by that time, I would have been buzzed. "Yeah, I do feel it," I said.

"What does it feel like?" he asked.

"I don't know, just all, you know, buzzed."

"Do yer fingers feel numb? Yer head hot?"

"Yeah, both of those things."

We played our next hand. I had a pair of aces that time, and he noticed me betting a lot, and he folded, though not before I got three drinks out of him, and he started acting a bit more buzzed than before.

Then I lost two hands in a row. I ended up having to take five drinks and lose two articles of clothing. It seemed like almost every hand had a clothing bet made in it, even though I certainly never initiated those. Why would I, when all I wanted was for Syd to pass out so I could leave? Clothing bets were just a waste of time, and I had no desire to see Syd naked anymore than I desired to strip myself. Yet, in spite of that, he was managing to weasel a clothing bet into each hand. It was annoying.

I decided to take off my belt in the first of the losing hands, then my shirt in the second losing hand. You can bet Syd was giving me all sorts of inappropriate whistles and cheers when I pulled off my polo shirt and neatly folded it, leaving me bare above my waist.

The five drinks went down like nothing, but they got me thinking that by this point, I probably should pretend to be getting noticeably drunk. Trouble was, I was anything but a good actor, and wasn't confident in my ability to sell that state of mind to Syd. One thing I had noticed about drunks is that they talked and moved at a slower pace, so I made a real effort to slow down my speech and my movements.

I noticed that I was winning only about one third of the time, but figured that wasn't a problem as long as I was drinking the zero-proof "whiskey."

The next hand I won, but all I got out of him was one lousy drink and two pieces of clothing. He took a drink and took off his belt and tossed it aside, and then he ripped off his cowboy shirt, leaving his buff upper body totally exposed.

"Yeah, ya like those muscles, Jakey?" he said, doing a double-bicep pose for me. "At least now I know your game play will drop dramatically, since you won't be able to take yer eyes off my Adonis upper body."

I folded early in the next hand, just losing a drink in the process. The hand after went on longer because my cards were decent, but when Syd tried to raise the hand to a second piece of clothing, I folded.

"Get those boring-guy khakis off, Jakey," Syd said.

I groaned, stood up, and carefully removing my pants until I was just in my underwear.

Syd whistled. "You'd make one hell of a hot stripper, ya know that, Jakey? Shaking that ass onstage."

I went in the closet to carefully hang my pants up so they wouldn't get wrinkled. When I walked back, Syd was waiting with a dollar bill, which he stuck in the waistband of my underwear. "You earned that, kiddo."

"Wow, that makes me feel real proud of myself. Thanks, Syd."

"That's what fuck buddies are for. Now drink!"

I drank three more drinks of the apple juice, keeping in mind I was supposed to be slowing down my speech and movements.

"Ha ha, ya know what's as funny as all hell?" Syd asked, slurring some.

"Your rudimentary grammar skills?" I asked him.

"Nah, Jake. You when you're drunk. I've been watching you, and you show your liquor less than anyone I know. The only thing I notice is that you been slowing down real bad, like someone flipped you into slow mo. But other than that, you show zero signs of being drunk, totally unlike how yer dad was. Hell, I don't even think you even lost a single one of yer many reservations."

"Well, we can't all be sloppy drunks like you, Syd."

"Very true," he slurred. "You have a lot to live up to."

Then Syd lost two hands in a row, which hadn't happened since we started playing. The first loss he folded almost as soon as the hand started, ending up just taking one drink. The second one was a more major hand, with two drinks and an article of clothing. He threw his cowboy hat carelessly on the floor.

"That's not fair," I said. "I wasn't wearing a hat, so you started with more clothes than I had. It shouldn't count."

"Don't worry about it. We'll be even in a bit."

"Why is that?"

"Why do ya think, Jakey?" He looked down at his crotch.

"Oooh, should have guessed."

"Hey, is it me, or the more you've been drinking lately, the less drunk you've been acting?"

I realized I had forgotten to speak slowly. "I think the more you drink, the worse your perception becomes, Syd." I made sure to say it extra slowly.

In our next hand, I had really good cards, but Syd bet a piece of clothing. I did NOT want to lose my underwear, so I folded, suffering the consequences by having to drink two drinks.

"Up, looks like yer out of that bottle," Syd said, and I realized he was right. There was just enough for my two swigs, and then my ace in the hole was gone. "Your first bottle of whiskey, empty. I'm so fucking proud of you, Jakey. This is one of the biggest accomplishments of anyone's life, and I'm real touched that you chose to spend this monument with me." He jumped across the table and hugged me, our bare chests and torsos touching.

At first, I thought he was being ironic. Then I realized he was too drunk for irony, he was just brimming over with honest to goodness pride and sentiment over my drinking accomplishment.

"We'll keep this bottle as proof. They won't frame a bottle, believe me, I've tried, but we'll save it for you so you'll always remember this. Let me get you another," he said, slurring as he jumped up and rushed over to the minibar, opening a fresh bottle of whiskey for me and setting it on the table as he sat back down, slapping me on the back. "There ya go, partner."

I assessed my situation. I no longer had my secret weapon in this game; suddenly, the odds were even, and for once I'd have to take real drinks. The last thing I wanted was to get sick drunk that night, I was just trying to get Syd out of commission. Was it even worth continuing at this point? Should I just call off the game and let Syd keep me there for the rest of the night, Lewis be damned?

No. I was way too competitive to quit now, not when I was so far ahead. And there was no way I would ever just give up and let him top me. He was way beyond buzzed, into the drunk category. It wouldn't take much more to get him passed out; I had seen him passed out drunk before, so I knew he was more than capable of it. I just had to hang in there a little longer, do my best to win the hands, and try to drink as little as possible.

The next hand, Syd folded early, but had to suffer the punishment: one drink. I could see his eyes getting more and more glassed over, and I felt reassured in my decision. There was no going back now; this game was going forward until one of us was on the floor.

I folded quickly on the next hand when I got disappointing cards, but I was stupid enough to wait for the flop, letting Syd get in one drink bet before I folded.

"Drink!" said Syd.

I grabbed my bottle and quickly tossed the liquid down, then choked, coughing the liquid up as I felt fire in my esophagus. I remembered that this wasn't apple juice anymore.

"What's wrong, Jakey?" Syd asked, getting suspicious.

"Nothing, I just choked," I said.

"Well, that doesn't count then. Do it again."

I groaned, but took another sip, this time much more slowly. But the alcohol burned so unpleasantly, I quickly gagged up the whiskey again with a set of coughs.

"Jesus, Jakey," he said. "Why in blazes are ya chokin' all of the sudden on some liquid when we both know you can get my whole monster fucking dick in yer throat without choking none?"

"Let me try again," I said. "This time, I'll get it."

I took another swig of the whiskey, and that time I shut my eyes and forced myself to swallow it down, though I had to concentrate real hard not to gag. I felt the hot liquid light up my insides, not in a good way.

He laughed. "Yer face looks about as green with sick as mine did when ya made me swallow those lima beans at dinner," he said. "What's wrong, is this new bottle of whiskey not as smooth as the first?" He looked at the bottle. "They look the same."

"The second one tastes a little harder, but that's okay," I told him. "Stop delaying and get back to the game."

"That's the spirit," he said.

I lost the next hand as well, resulting in me taking three drinks. After I had taken my second sip, Syd shook his head. "Don't think I can't see you getting all stingy all the sudden on those gulps," he said. "You been drinking alcohol like a little girl."

"How many little girls have you really seen drink whiskey, Syd?"

"Plenty. This is the fucking Territory for Christsakes. Maybe if ya pretend yer swallowing my jizm loads, that'll get ya to down a lot more at once."

I angrily looked at him in the eye, locked my body with steely resolve, and took a huge long swig, and I did it all without making a face, though tears came to my eyes.

"Attaboy, Jakey! See? Picturing you were drinking my cum really did help, ain't it?"

I started to feel a bit strange, physically. A bit light-headed; kind of fuzzy. Was I getting drunk already?

Syd folded in the next hand, but I at least got him to take one more drink first. The next hand, I folded before the river, and had to take two more drinks and then lose an article of clothing (Syd's bet, of course). I only had one piece of clothing on me at the time, so the choice was easy.

"Yee-haw, Jakey!" Syd hollered as I pulled my underwear off. "Ya got a real nice piece of equipment there, kiddo. Not as nice as mine, but nice." I got up and walked over to the closet. "Oh yeah, Jakey, show off that purdy, hungry ass to me."

"I'm not showing my butt off to you, Syd, I'm putting away my underwear."

"Uh-huh, you go ahead and make up whatever excuse you need to feel better about yerself, Jakey. I know the truth."

I noticed as I was walking around, I felt wobbly and uncoordinated, which I found highly annoying.

The next round, it looked like I was going to win, but then after the flop, Syd saw my drink bet and raised me a piece of clothing.

"Well, since I don't have any clothes to bet, seems like an easy choice for me," I said, thinking Syd must have just wanted an excuse to take his pants off.

"No, that's not how it works, Jakey. When you got no more clothes on, then those bets turn into favors that last thirty seconds. Me, I'm gonna make my favor be 30 seconds of kissing, with some serious tongue action."

"Eew, that's disgusting," I said. "You're ill."

"I'm not that sick, Jakey."

"Well, you're sick enough to gross me out."

"If you can't hang with the bet, you'll have to fold then."

"I fold."

I had to take a drink for losing that hand, but at least I didn't have to kiss him.

On the next hand, Syd must have had a great pair of cards, because he bet the strip/kiss deal again before the flop. I folded without any penalty.

The next hand, Syd did the exact same thing, and I realized he would keep doing it regardless of what his hand was. "If ya keep folding, we're gonna be here all night, Jakey."

"Fine," I said. "Thirty seconds of kissing is on the line."

When he started betting like crazy before the river, I knew he must have had something better than my pair of tens, so I folded.

"Yeah, Jakey, give me that hot mouth!"

"Sheesh, alright, just let me take my drinks first." I drank the two drinks I had bet in that hand, then grabbed my watch. "You're not getting a second favor."

I walked over to him in the chair, straddled his legs, leaned down and pressed my lips to him. When he started to lick my lips with his big, wet tongue, and push it inside my mouth, I started to feel queasy, knowing that I was kissing a sick person.

But I shut my eyes and realized, with me feeling as drunk as I was, it was easy to forget he was sick, and even who he was. I felt his strong hands on my back, pulling me down against his lap. As he kissed me, he moved those hands all over me, his muscled arms squeezing my sides. I found myself even kissing him back.

He put his right hand behind my head, pushing his mouth into mine even more eagerly, and at the same time, I could feel the crotch of his jeans press against me as I sat on his lap. I definitely felt hardness there pushing against my bare butt.

I remembered where I was and opened my eyes. The clock told me I had gone fifteen seconds over. "Your time is up," I said, not telling him I had let it go over.

"Whew-wee, that was one fuckin' hot kiss, Jakey!"

"Glad one of us enjoyed it," I said. I got off him and walked back to my chair, hoping he wouldn't see that my dick had gotten a lot harder in the process of that kiss. I willed it to go back down.

We started to play the next hand, and this time I had a diamond flush by the time the turn came around, the best hand I ever had. But then the river card was played, and suddenly Syd was betting like crazy, raising my drinks and adding in another favor (this time requiring me to give him a handjob for thirty seconds if I lost).

I was about to fold, guessing he must have had a better hand that I did, but this time, something in me changed. Perhaps it was from being drunk, but I decided to stay the course for once and push Syd to the end. I saw his sex bet and raised him a drink.

He folded, and I was left scratching my head. Why would anyone fold if all he had to do was put in one more drink bet in order to lay down the cards? Was he throwing the hand in order to take off his jeans?

He drank his drinks, and then stood up. "Okay, here's what you've been waiting for all evening, Jakey," he said.

He walked over to me, sticking his crotch in my face. He bucked his hips a couple of time with the jeans on, showing off his package, giving me a strip-tease. Then he unbuttoned the top couple of buttons from his jeans.

He yanked down the jeans a couple inches down his hips, exposing his swirly, sandy-blonde bush and the base of his soft, huge unit.

He kept on pulling his jeans down, that time lowering them to mid thigh, keeping just the head of his dick covered. I could see his huge ballsack behind his dickstalk Finally he yanked the jeans down to his ankles, his soft dick springing loose of his tight denim, and he kicked his pants away.

Syd put his hands on his hips and spun around, causing his huge soft unit to spin like a fanblade.

"I know it's torturing you not to touch it right now, Jakey, but you'll just have to earn the right to do that."

He turned towards his seat, and I could see his bare muscled butt behind him. He sat back down in his chair, naked then, his soft unit hanging between his legs as he dealt the next hand.

"I'm not gonna let ya win anymore," he said, and I remembered that Syd was just as competitive as I was. Something about that fact irked me, but I found myself too drunk at this point to think clearly. I hated that feeling, and it made me wonder why anyone would enjoy this state of mind.

I tried to concentrate on my cards that hand, but all I could see was Syd's dick hanging between his legs, the top half sprawled out all over the seat of the chair, but it was so long, the bottom half hung off the edge, his head pointing towards the ground.

Somehow, I realized I had bet a drink and a thirty second handjob, and then Syd was raising me again. I looked at my hand, realized I had nothing, I should have folded as soon as I saw the flop. I folded at that point in any case.

"I want to feel yer hot fingers worshiping my cock, Jakey," he said when the hand was done, and I remembered what I had bet, angry at myself.

"Fine, but I'm timing this," I said, grabbing my watch.

He spread his legs on his seat and pointed down at his dick, making it clear that he wanted me to come to him. I stumbled over and kneeled between his legs. I reached down and grabbed the soft, pink head in my hand and started to stroke the thing.

"Yeah, that's the ticket," he cooed.

It amazed me that in a matter of seconds, he went from flaccid to rock hard, his dick pulsing to life in my fingers, and my hand had to keep up with it as it went from hanging down between his thighs to pointing up towards my head.

He started to thrust his erection into my hand, groaning, when I said, "Time's up." I let go of him.

"Awww, already?"

I sat back down in my seat, feeling more alert than before, and determined to start winning again. Something tickled my mind, and I remembered there was an important matter I needed to process.

I knew for sure that Syd hadn't thrown the hand where he had taken off his pants, he thought he would win it until the very end, but folded before we had to lay our cards down. That made me realize that he must have been bluffing, and didn't want me to catch him in the act, so he folded right at the last second. That made me go back and think about all the many times this evening when he had bet a lot, acting like he had something good, and then I had folded in response. I realized that though I was doing the math in my head and using statistics, I was losing the mental game to Syd, and my track record for losing hands was testament to that. I needed to shake things up. I needed to stop reacting to Syd, because Syd was a liar. I needed to just play every hand for myself, ignore my opponent.

That hand, I had three 4s after the turn, so I had a good chance of winning, according to the math I was doing in my head. Syd tried to bet me all sort of drinks, trying to psych me out, but I refused to fold. Once again, he folded right before we had to lay down our cards, and he ended up having to drink four times, requiring him to get a fresh bottle of whiskey. I was pleased with myself because I had proven to him that his mind games wouldn't work on me.

After that, I noticed that Syd's movements became a lot more labored, and his eyes seemed to always be droopy. I knew he couldn't last much longer.

We played our next hand; I had a two pair after the flop, so I started to bet drinks. He came back again with his acting like he had something big, trying to get me to fold again. "I'll raise you a thirty second blow job," he said, clearly bluffing me.

"No, I don't want a thirty second blowjob," I said, sure I would win this round and not wanting that prize at all.

"Oh, right, shoulda known, sorry sweetheart," he said. "If I win, I get a thirty second BJ. If you win, I'll give you a thirty second butt-licking."

"No, I don't want any sexual favors. Here's the deal. If I win, you have to scrub down that tub of yours for thirty seconds, with cleaner and hot water. I know that the maid didn't come today."

"You're really gonna make me clean up in the middle of our game?"

"If I have to give you sex acts that I don't want in order to please you, you should be doing what I want in order to please me."

"Fine, it's a bet then."

I expected him to fold like usual when we got to the river, but instead, he kept on playing. I flipped over my cards. "I've got two pair," I said.

"Ah, damnit, I just got a plain ol' one pair of jacks," he said, showing me one of his cards was a jack, pairing with the jack that had been the turn.

"Oh yeah," I said. "Better get cleaning, Syd."

"Wait a second, I forgot about my other card," he said, flipping it over and showing me another jack. "Guess my jacks were havin' a threesome. I win!"

I frowned at him, in disbelief that he hadn't been bluffing for once.

"On your knees, loser!" he said, pointing to the floor in front of his chair, spreading his legs.

I groaned. I never thought I'd actually have to sink to this level. "You'd better have bathed recently," I said.

"I did this afternoon, Jakey. And guess who hasn't cum yet today? I'm fucking horny for yer hot mouth."

I walked over and got to my knees in front of his seat, in between his legs. I grabbed that huge dick in my hand, totally hard, and gave it a look over, making sure it was clean.

I stuck out my tongue and licked the dickhead carefully.

"Time ain't gonna start ticking until I feel yer lips around my dick," Syd said. "I didn't bet a tongue bath, Jakey."

"Alright!"

I spread my lips wide and opened my jaw, and then pushed down onto his dick, swallowing his huge head.

"Yeah, that feels so magical," he said. "Down more, boy."

He grabbed my head and pushed me down onto his stalk, making me almost choke as his head hit the back of my throat. I gave him an angry look.

"Oh, come on, you can hold your breath for thirty seconds, can't you?"

He pushed me farther down until my nose pushed into his sandy blonde pubes.

"Yeah, that's it," he said, and started to face hump me.

I pulled off. "Time's up," I said.

"That was fuckin' hot, Jakey! Look, ya got me all leaky." He slapped his dick towards me, sending precum flying towards my face.

I got up and walked back to my chair.

The next hand, I bet three drinks while Syd bet, "Thirty seconds of me eating out yer sweet hole."

"Or thirty seconds of you cleaning the tub," I said.

I won with a pair of kings, and Syd started to go for his drinks. "Not until after you finish cleaning, Syd," I said. "I want you to do a good job."

He walked over to the tub and told me to start timing him. I made him actually get in it and clean. "Use those arm muscles you're always bragging about," I said.

"Christ, this is so boring. Am I done yet?"

"No, twenty five more seconds!"

By the time he had finished, the tub was pretty sparkling, I had to hand it to him. He came back to his chair, and I made sure he had his drinks.

The next hand, he bet the same thirty seconds of licking while I told him I wanted thirty seconds of cleaning up the closet, picking up all his junk and hanging up his clothes. I won that hand too, and I watched him carefully as he organized the closet, not telling him when he went over by twenty seconds.

"That was such boner-killer, Jakey," he said. "Though I could see you watching me, stroking yer hole."

"I was not!"

"Don't deny it, Jakey. Nothing in this world hotter to you than my studly body, but cleaning comes a close second. Combine the two of them, and yer about ready to blow yer load all over the closet floor."

"Just get back to the game, Syd," I said.

The next hand, when he bet the licking again, I called his bet with thirty seconds of cleaning his bathroom, since I was sitting with three of a kind. That hand went all the way to the end, but he won it with a full house, making me angry as I took my two drinks.

"Oh yeah," he said. "I've been wanting this all day long, Jakey. Get ready to have yer sweet hole stretched out by my talented, manly tongue."

He made me stand on my chair, standing with my toes facing the back of the seat, and leaning forward, with my hands on the back.

I felt his stubbly cheeks against my crack, then his tongue started to lick my hole. When he stuck his strong tongue inside me, he did it roughly, screwing me with it, moaning with pleasure. I could see he was playing with himself as he devoured me.

"Time's up," I said.

"Aww," he said as he pulled back

When he was done, I noticed that he had gone from totally soft from all the cleaning to rock hard and oozing.

"That was so tasty," he said to me, his voice so slurred by that point he seemed barely able to speak.

We started to play the next hand, his eyes barely able to stay open as he looked down at his cards. Right off the bat, I got a pair of 9s, and I felt good about my chances. I bet a drink, and Syd upped it to two before the flop was thrown out. A king, a 3, and a 9! That meant I had three of a kind.

It was my turn to bet, so I said one drink. Syd raised a drink, and the turn was flipped over, another king. I bet another drink.

"I'll call," he said. "No more drink bets, we're at five." Darn, I had been hoping he had forgotten that we set a max.

Syd flipped over the river, and my eyes went wide as I saw the fourth 9. I had four of a kind! "I check."

"I'll bet you thirty seconds of... getting yer sweet ass fucked by my hungry dick."

"I think you're way too drunk to perform," I said.

"I'm NEVER too drunk to fuck, Jakey," he said. "Take a look at how my dick is responding just to the idea." I looked down to see his dick rock hard, pointing towards the ceiling, with a the tip oozing precum like a volcano all over the mushroom head and down the base.

"Okay, I believe you."

"Now, you'll either take the bet or you'll fold."

I couldn't fold, not with a four of a kind, not when he could barely talk. I knew he was trying to bluff me again. "Fine, you're on, but if I win, you have to clean the bathroom."

"Deal. Flip over yer card, let's see what ya got."

I flipped over my 9s. "Four of a kind, 9s," I said.

"Ooooh, damn Jakey, those are some big numbers. But ya know what beats nines? Four kings."

He flipped over his cards, and I saw the two kings, and I knew there were two kings on the table. "No!" I yelled, my heart starting to race as I thought about what I had promised him.

"Yer ass is gonna get a serious whipping by my Texas dick, Jakey, and ya know what? Yer gonna love it just as much as I do."

I shook my head.

"But the fuckings gonna happen after NEXT hand, `cause this one I lied about," he said. He reached down and pulled the second king out from the first, and I saw it was really a jack, I had just taken his word for it. "Yer easy to fool, Jakey," he said, laughing.

I felt so relieved. "You'd better drink your five drinks, and I think you should do a sixth one for almost cheating."

"Fine," he said. Instead of bothering to count the six drinks, he ended up just sucking down half of the bottle, then put it down and wiped his lips.

"Now for the bathroom," I said.

"Oh, Jesus Christ."

As I followed him into the bathroom, he stumbled and almost fell over until I caught him and pushed him back up.

"Okay, just thirty seconds, though," he said.

I noticed he was cleaning really half-assed, so I was about to complain, when he just fell over suddenly onto the bathroom floor.

"Syd?" I asked.

No answer, but I could see his eyes were closed and his mouth open. I knew he was out, and that meant I had won our game! I was so pleased with myself.

I felt bad about leaving him on the floor, so I tried to lift him and carry him towards his bed, but he wasn't budging.

"Syd!" I said, slapping him on the face.

"Mmm," he said. "Help me to bed."

He managed to stand up with my help, and he put his arm around me as I led him to the bed and laid him down. By the time I put his covers on him, he was snoring.

I thought about all the touching of Syd's body I had done, and decided to brush my teeth thoroughly, then jump in the tub for a quick soap down. The last thing I wanted to do was to transmit Syd's cold to Lewis, or Parker, for that matter. I dressed quickly and I left the room, using hand sanitizer as I walked past the guards in the hall, cursing how wobbly I was walking.

By the time I got to the mess hall, my heart froze: Lewis was nowhere in sight. I found Tucker all too easily, however, barely managing to stay seated on his barstool, not needing any drinking game to find an excuse to pound the drinks down by himself. I wanted to hit him for clearly being the most inept babysitter ever.

"Heeey buddy," he said to me as I came up to him. "Come and take a shot with me."

"I can't believe you're drunk, Tucker," I said.

"Hey, hypocritical, no? Yer slurring yer words like a fucking retard."

I scoffed at his language. "Thanks for the needless offensiveness, Tucker. Please just tell me when you last saw Lewis."

"Listen, I was doing just fine looking after that kid, I swear. But just a bit ago, Governor comes by himself, lookin' for the tyke. Says he was feelin' all pumped after his latest feedin,' says he been wanting to finish teaching Lewis how make his fist steely, so he dragged him off to the training hall for a late night session. Boy, that kid sure didn't want to go, I could tell that just by looking at him, but what the Governor, wants, the Governor gets, right?"

I didn't respond to Tucker, I just walked out of the mess hall and started towards the training hall, almost making a wrong turn in the hallways before I righted myself, knowing that my navigational mistake was solely due to my drunkenness. As I walked, I slowly got more and more speedy, feeling guilty about the predicament that Lewis was in though I couldn't have been sure I would have been able to keep him out of it even if I had been babysitting him the whole time.

At that time of night, the training hall was completely deserted except for Jericho and his guards, who were piled close together along the wall. I saw Lewis right away, standing beside his father, facing one of those hanging slate panels that he had failed to break the last time. I could see Jericho had started right where he had ended up last.

"Hit it AGAIN!" he shouted at the boy.

Lewis, whose scared face was covered with tears, threw his right fist hard into the stone, crying out when the flesh again failed to turn.

"HARDER!"

He hit it again, his hand red and bloody.

I ran up to them. "You can't do this, this is a child!" I yelled. "This is supposed to be your son, remember, you bastard?"

Jericho's furious eyes met mine. "Guards, you know the score well enough by now. Hold the swindler down and gag him."

"No!" I said, trying to dodge his cronies, but the alcohol made me stumble, and they caught me too fast. Goodness, why did I have to be drunk? "Lewis, don't listen to him, he can't make you do it, he can't touch you," I said before the guards gagged me.

But Lewis must not have heard me.

"HARDER!" Jericho barked, and Lewis slammed his right hand into the stone as fast as possible, once again shattering his bones. He cried and cried.

"AGAIN!"

"But father, my hand broke," said Lewis through his tears, looking at Jericho as he stood there, holding the stone steady.

"I don't care, do it!"

He slammed his broken hand into the slate again, absolutely shouting in pain as his shattered hand hit into the rock, still with no success. But something else occurred at that moment that I could not understand.

Through Lewis's open mouth, what looked like a blue electrical discharge appeared, striking out towards the block in front of him, but more specifically, towards Jericho's body. And then the electrical bolt was gone.

Because I had no idea how what I had seen could be possible, my first thought was that I was hallucinating from all the alcohol I had consumed. But then I saw Jericho had been knocked backwards onto his butt. What would be powerful enough to topple over someone as potent as Jericho?

Lewis stood there, looking in complete awe at his father on the ground, clearly just as disbelieving at what had just happened as I had been. "Father, what was that?" he asked.

Jericho's face went from horrified surprise to evil malice as he stared down Lewis. "What are you?"

"I'm Lewis, I'm your son."

"DON'T LIE TO ME!!!"

He picked the poor boy up and slammed him painfully into the wall, holding the small thing up by only his throat with his left hand as he stuck his right fingers into his eyes.

"I knew it!" Jericho shouted, pulling out what looked to be contact lenses, colored green. Underneath, the boy's true eye color was hazel. "YOU IMPOSTER!"

"No, please father, I don't understand." I could tell that Lewis wasn't lying to him. "Mom told me I had to wear those all my life, not let anyone see my real eye color or I'd be in huge trouble, but she never told me why."

"YOU FUCKING IMPOSTER!" he yelled, his right fist turning to steel, hitting him in the face, breaking his left cheek bone. "I should have known, he looks nothin' fuckin' like me. My other two sons looked just like I did when I was their age."

"Please no, father!" Lewis begged.

"DON"T EVER FUCKING CALL ME THAT!" He kept on hitting him. "You think you can make a fool out of me with your Valmor Blood electrical shit? Well, how does the fucking Logan fist that you failed so badly to perform taste all the way in your mouth, little fucker?"

I shook my body and cried out in vain, trying to fight myself free, trying to think of some way to intervene, but Jericho beat Lewis until he was unconscious, then tossed him on the floor. "Guards, this pretender is now our prisoner. I want him underground, in the darkest, dirtiest, most rat infested jail cell you can find, and I want twenty-four hour security on him."

A couple of the guards grabbed Lewis's broken little body and started to carry him away as he sobbed.

Jericho walked towards the training hall exit. "And I want the woman brought down to the Great Room. She and I need to have a little talk."

The guards dropped me and left the room after Jericho. Cornelius, I had to get Cornelius. I ran out of the training hall, turned towards Cornelius's office, and moved as fast as I could down the halls, stumbling a couple times due to my condition, but always picking myself back up. When I got to his office, I prayed that he would be there, and I just let myself in instead of stopping to knock.

Cornelius was sitting at his grand piano, playing. He stopped and turned to look at me. "Mr. Groves," he said. "I'm so sorry to see you've abandoned knocking."

"Cornelius, you have to come to the Great Room before he kills her," I said.

"Kills who?" he asked, getting up from the piano.

"Glaucia!"

I filled him in on what had taken place as we ran towards the Great Room. By the time the two of us arrived, Jericho had Glaucia on the floor in front of him, and she looked badly beaten. Her face was bruised and cut and barely recognizable.

"TELL ME WHOSE BASTARD HE IS!!" Jericho roared, kicking her in the ribs.

She smiled, in spite of her pain, and spit out blood. "Marquez Valmor himself. So, you see, he's as much of noble blood as I told you, I just forgot to mention which Blood patriarch he was the son of."

He grabbed her hair. "That pussy fuckin' Valmor will pay for this sleight with his life, I swear it!"

"You're not even half that man that he is, Jericho, you'll never be able to touch him. And in case you think that he and I acted alone, let it be known that I have all the old vampire families of Mexico behind me. We are long tired of being used and trampled on by the Logan Blood, and I've rallied all of them to join the sides of Marquez. He has welcomed all of us into his fold, regardless of our eye color, with a grace that you could never even fathom."

"Every Logan Blood Mexican man, woman, and child who bows to the false leader Marquez will lose their right to exist, I swear. So, those nights we spent together, that was all a ploy on your part?"

She scoffed. "Please. I don't know how you can believe that anyone would ever willingly choose to have sex with someone as fucked up as you are. That's why you haven't had a child for over a century and a half. You can't find a single woman who wouldn't vomit at the idea of sharing your bed. Those nights where I had to convince you I wanted you were the most painfully degrading nights of my life."

"Oh, I think we'll manage to make tonight a lot more painfully degrading," he said, punching her.

"Stop him from hurting her!" I demanded of Cornelius.

"There's nothing I can do to stop him anymore," he said. "She's violated her marriage vows, and so their marriage is annulled. She has no protection anymore."

"So you must have been pregnant by the time you came here?" Jericho demanded.

"Yes, and I knew I had to seduce you for the plan to work. It wasn't so hard to do that, though the hard part was trying to convince you to keep me alive until I could convince you I was carrying your son. When I gave birth, I took him away as a newborn before anyone could see his eyes. Then almost immediately, I started putting in those colored contacts."

"What, exactly, did you hope to achieve here, you bitch?"

She smiled. "The Logan Blood is a blight upon vampire-kind, not to mention humanity. Look around at yourselves, all of you. You're nothing but a bunch of soulless slave-mongers wallowing in the filthy Texas dirt."

"Right on, Glaucia!" I said, cheering.

"Guards, take care of the noise, please!" Jericho said, and moments later, I was gagged again.

"You've always been an embarrassment to all the other Bloods, and someone needed to stop you. I was going to do it all by myself. Find a way to kill you, Jericho, and anyone else who stood in the way of Lewis taking the Governorship. And once he did, I'd tell him the truth about his father, and he would have worked with me to dismantle this shithole Blood from the inside, and to assimilate the worthy into the Valmor Blood."

"You were a fool to believe you could keep my eyes shut for long, bitch," he said. "I always knew something was wrong when you seemed so meek and passive towards me, yet inside you boiled over with anger. I knew right then you were tainted. And now, I'm going to finally be able to kill you."

"I'm not afraid of death!" she said, spitting in his face.

"Oh, good to hear it, sweetheart. You won't mind then as I rip out your traitorous uterus out of your body and make you watch me lick the blood off it." He reached for her stomach, and I turned my head away, not being able to look.

"Mr. Governor, I believe in this scenario not killing her would play to our advantage," Cornelius said.

"How so?" Jericho said angrily, and I hesitantly opened my eyes to see he still hadn't killed her.

"If we send her back to Marquez with demands," Cornelius said. "Right now, we don't even know where the Valmor family is located, which makes communication impossible. She certainly knows how to get to Marquez himself, and it seems to me the smartest course of action would be to release her as a living messenger."

"Yes, though it's so difficult to give up the immediate gratification that would come from ripping this woman to shreds and licking every last drop of her insides, I can delay my pleasure in the name of greater good for our Blood."

He threw Glaucia to the ground.

"I want her escorted out of the Territory to some major town. Once released, you little rat, you're to go to Marquez and tell him in person just how badly all of these plans have crumbled. Tell him that I'm going to keep his fucking ugly son as my own personal guest until all of my demands of him are met, starting with him removing all of his people and interests from Mexico. Once he accomplishes that, I'll be in touch with you for the next demand. If he refuses, I kill the boy. His choice."

She shook her head. "No, please, you can't hold Lewis, he's done nothing to you, done nothing! He's an innocent!"

"I eat innocents every day of the week for breakfast, you ugly rat," he said. "I don't give a fuck about Marquez's bastard."

"Please, keep me as a hostage, but let him go."

"I'm expecting to get him to surrender his whole Blood in order to save the life of what I believe is his only child. If it was your life on the line, I wouldn't expect he'd be willing to trade his favorite pair of underwear to save you. You're a nothing, little human. Guards, get her out of here."

His men came and picked her up, dragging her out the door. "Please, you can't keep my from my boy, don't make me leave my only child!" But they shut her up and dragged her out of the house.

"Oh, and let it be known: you may be getting out of here alive tonight, but I promise you, I will kill you in the end, dearest wife."

And then she was gone.

"Now, get out, all of you, I want to be alone!" Jericho yelled. Everyone shuffled out of the room, with Cornelius heading back towards his office, and vampire guards leaving through various doors. I went upstairs to the third story to head towards Parker's bedroom for the night. Lumbering through the halls seemed to be getting more difficult as the drunkenness took me to a new level of exhaustion.

When I got to Parker's room, he was sleeping in bed for the night in those same pajamas, his desk lamp still on, a book on his chest, and his artificial leg already removed. I tried my best to try to creep around the room as I got ready for bed in spite of my lack of coordination, going into the closet to change into my sleeping shorts and brushing my teeth in the bathroom. I walked towards the bed, saying a quick prayer before joining him.

I tried to get in bed without waking Parker up, but I suppose I was too drunk to be careful, because he started to stir. He opened his eyes and closed the book on his chest. "Well that settles it, Deep Analysis of Multivalent Nonmetals of the Nitrogen Group hasn't managed to get anymore riveting after being so neglected on my bookshelf. I trust your evening was more exciting than mine, Jake?"

"I would have much rather been spending the time sitting here with you reading chemistry, Parker," I said. "You're not going to believe what just happened downstairs."

He suddenly looked concerned. "What was it?"

"Well, it was Lewis, Glaucia, and Jericho. You see..."

As I started to relive the events in my mind, I felt tears start to sting my eyes and a lump grew in my throat. I fought them back, kept them under control, but I couldn't go on for fear that I'd break my composure.

He sat up and looked down at me as I lay in bed. "Yes, Jake? What happened? You're scaring me here."

"Look, I'm sorry," I said, shutting my eyes and shaking my head. "I'm drunk for the first time in my life, and I hate it. I never want to get like this again. People say they get drunk to make their emotions go away, but I don't understand that at all. It seems to me like every emotion is heightened, and I can't deal with them."

"That's why I try to avoid intoxication personally," he said.

"I didn't have that luxury tonight," I said.

"Hey, what happened, Jake? Feel free to just let it out."

He put his comforting hand on my cheek, and that did it for me, that pushed me over the emotional ledge. I felt a hot tear run down my face.

"Lewis was a fake," I said, not caring anymore that my voice was cracking.

"What?"

"Not a Logan vampire at all. He had been wearing green colored contacts this whole time. He was actually the son of Marquez, some other Blood's leader."

"The Valmor Blood in South America."

"Yes, that's the one," I said. "Turns out Glaucia has been their spy this whole time. She came into Mareshead for the first time when she was already pregnant, and slept with Jericho. Somehow convinced him that she was carrying his child. I don't know why he wouldn't demand a paternity test."

"I doubt he even knows what a paternity test is. He generally avoids modern technology as much as possible."

"Still, looking at Lewis, the boy doesn't even look the least bit like Jericho," I said. "Why would he blindly accept him?"

"Because it stokes his ego as a red-blooded alpha male," Parker said. "That a beautiful woman would come along and find him irresistible, that a couple times copulating would produce a baby, proving that he was highly fertile. People talk when the last child you sired was as old as I was. And then the fact that this was a new potential heir to mold as he wanted. All of those reasons would be more than enough to make a man like Jericho refuse to acknowledge any subconscious doubts he may have had."

"Glaucia was beat up so badly, I couldn't even recognize her," I said, my voice cracking more, tears coming down my face.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, I'm here for you, Jake," he said, rubbing my shoulder.

"Parker, this is weird to ask, and I'm sure I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't really drunk, but would you mind terribly if you held me right now?"

"I don't know. You are dressed appropriately, but my sleepwear is all too thin, and I'm afraid of something touching you that wouldn't be right to you. But if I got dressed quickly, then yes."

"I'm too upset to wait for that, and I don't care about your thin pajamas."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Alright then. But I'm not sure, honestly, what you mean by holding you, and I don't want to presumptuously do something that you would label as being over the line, so I'm just going to lie here and let you be the one to hold me."

He laid back on the bed, and I laid on top of him, wrapping my arms around him and pushing my face against his. "This feels so much better, thanks."

"I have a strong desire to put my arms around you. Would that be over the line?"

"No, go right ahead."

His strong arms wrapped around my back, making me feel warm and relaxed almost immediately as they patted and soothed.

"He sent her back to Marquez to tell him if he didn't pull out of Mexico, he would kill Lewis."

"Jesus," Parker said. "Jake, what happened to Lewis?"

"Jericho beat him up so badly he passed out," I said. "Then locked him underground in some dark jail cell."

Parker just shook his head, tears starting to come to his own eyes. "That poor boy," he said. "I've gotten so close to him. I should have been there, should have been there."

He nuzzled his face into the top of my head, burying his tears against me. And I hugged him harder than ever.

This position meant his soft, heavy package through that thin layer of fabric inadvertently pressed against my own soft dick through my shorts, and somehow the contact comforted me.

One moment, I was looking up at the side of Parker's head, and the next, there was nothing but the bed, though I could certainly feel his body still beneath me.

"Parker, you've gone invisible again," I said.

"Sorry, Jake, but you'll just have to hold on for a moment, I'm too emotional right now."

"You have nothing to be guilty about. How could you have been there when you're locked up here?"

"I could have used my ability."

"You can't be everywhere at once. I should be the one who is guilty. They kept on forcing me to go up to Syd's room to take care of him, and Jericho came and found Parker and took him to the training hall while I wasn't around. If he hadn't gone there, Jericho would have never discovered the truth."

Parker hugged me tighter. "He would have found Lewis either way," he said. "You couldn't have done anything."

"Maybe you're right. Well, I have to give credit to Glaucia. At least she was trying to make this world a better place by attempting to take down Jericho from the inside."

"There's nothing more that I would like than for Jericho to take a hard fall," he said. "But I can't condone her methods. Bringing her son, an innocent, sweet kid that had no idea of the truth of any of this, into this snake pit willingly? Subjecting him to all sorts of degradation and abuse by his tyrannical, false father all for political gains? I know that woman loves her son, but I would never be able to submit any child to that fate, let alone my own blood."

"You're right," I said. "She had the right idea, but the wrong way to accomplish it."

"And now poor Lewis is paying the price," he said, sniffling again.

"You didn't see Glaucia get dragged out of the mansion, Parker. They both paid the price, believe me. Wow, do you realize we never even knew who Glaucia was? I always thought she was a sweet woman, a good mother, who was way too passive, and I couldn't understand why she would ever allow herself to have Jericho's child. Now that I know she was pretending to be demure and passive and hated Jericho the whole time, it calls into question everything else about her. She seemed like she was a friend to you and I, but maybe that was all an act too."

"I know," he said. "That's why I'm so glad I have you, Jake. You're the only adult in this whole settlement that says what he means and acts on his integrity, every single time."

I felt him squeeze me even harder, and I hugged him back with everything I had, feeling so moved, crying all the more as all the anger and sadness and fears swirled in my drunk mind with the affection and pride and lust and mixed together to just totally overpower me into a sniveling idiot in Parker's caring, wonderful arms.

"I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you. I'd never forgive myself. No, I swear, I'll never let that happen. I'll be there with you, Jake, until the end."

"And I will with you too, Parker," I said.

"Whoa, Jake, I, uh, I cannot believe this." I felt him get out from under me.

"What?" I asked, worried suddenly that he had felt my semi-hardon in my shorts from having him so close.

"Jake, you just turned invisible," he said, turning re-visible himself.

"Me? I turned invisible? I don't understand." I looked at myself, but didn't see anything.

"I just made you turn invisible, but it last for just a few seconds," he said, smiling.

"I thought you couldn't make any large objects turn invisible," I said, feeling confused because of the whiskey.

"I can't," he said. "I've never been able to do it before, at least. I've tried all the time with Annie, but I never could. Do you mind if I try it again? It would require holding you again, is that okay? I feel bad about taking advantage of you."

"No, try away," I said.

He turned invisible to me, and then got back underneath me in bed, hugging me really, really tightly.

"You were hugging me too, remember?" he said.

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back.

"There, wow! It happened again. This time for barely a second, but it occurred."

"Is it something I'm doing?" I asked.

"It must be, since this has never happened with anyone else before. I think maybe it's just that you've made yourself such a true friend for me, unlike anyone else has, including Annie. You're the first person to totally accept my missing leg. Well, except for Della, and she doesn't count. You're the first person to accept everything else about me too, Jake. The first person I felt so mightily about that isn't trying to change me. I feel robustly for you, Jake." I felt his hand on my cheek. "All I know is that when I embrace you like this, it feels so precisely correct. And my body seems to know that fact on a cellular level, because it's reacting to my feelings for you by making you the first person ever to include in my ability. It's incredible."

I couldn't believe how moved I felt by his words, I hugged him back, new tears gushing out of my eyes. "Should we keep practicing?" I asked. "Until we do it again?"

"It's late, and I don't think either of us are in the right mindset for training. Let's save that for tomorrow." He turned visible again, leaned over, turned off his light, and started to move to his side of the bed, away from me. "I won't touch you while you're sleeping, I promise."

"This might sound weird, Parker, but tonight, I'd love if you kept holding me like that. I understand if you'd rather not, but it's the one thing that would really make me sleep."

"It's not a matter of what I want to do, Jake. My body and my heart are telling me holding you is the right thing to do, for me, that is. But if you really want to touch me all night, perhaps we can just hold hands, would that work?"

"Why can't I just keep lying on you like this through the night? No change?"

"That's the only remedy for your insomnia tonight? Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, alright. If you get tired of me, please just shove me away."

"There's no one else in my life I'd ever replace you with to comfort me tonight, Parker. Please don't ever let me go again," I said.

I nuzzled my face into his chest, wrapped my arms around him, and I felt so soothed, so at home, that I fell asleep just moments later.

I awoke perhaps an hour later, and noticed that Parker had his eyes open and was looking at me with that smile of his on him.

"Parker, why aren't you asleep?" I asked.

"Well, you caught me. I'm afraid I'm uncomfortable falling asleep like this."

"So you were just going stay awake the whole night suffering while I slept on you?"

"Not suffering, no. It makes me happy to be able to help you sleep."

"Is there a position that would make you feel more comfortable? What if you were on top?"

"I'd be uncomfortable falling asleep while any part of your body is against my front, I'm afraid. What about holding on to me from behind?"

"But then you wouldn't be able to hug me like this."

"Understood. I'm fine staying up, please go back to sleep."

"Parker, how come you don't want me touching your front while you sleep?"

"Mmm, I don't know where to begin. I'm not sure how to say this without coming off as less than a gentleman."

"Just say it, Parker."

"Well, you see, there's this rather offensive change that can occur to my, um, my, you know what."

"Your penis?"

"Yes, that. I'm afraid it has a mind of its own while I'm sleeping, if you get my meaning."

"Wait, you're like your brother, aren't you?"

"Oh, goodness, I hope not. In what way?"

"Back when I was sleeping with him, especially when he was sick, he would sometimes almost sleep walk in his sleep. Or in his case, more like sleep-sexual-assault."

"That's exactly the sort of phrase I'm afraid you'll be uttering after I let myself fall asleep like this."

"Syd will grab me in his sleep and start to hump me, try to top me, all the while saying random names that are never my own. Is that what you'd do too?"

"He does all that? Horrendous! Goodness no, Jake, I don't have it in me to behave that way, awake or not."

"What are you talking about then?"

"I was referring to the possibility of my, um, penis, to get a bit, um, engorged with some extra blood than normal."

"You mean, you're worried about getting an erection?" I asked.

Even in the dark, I could see him turn red. "Yes, to put it bluntly, that's exactly what I mean." I wouldn't have considered erection to be a blunt term, but he was such a gentleman.

"I don't care about that, Parker. Sometimes it happens to me too while I'm sleeping."

"It does? It's not just a vampire phenomenon?"

"No."

"But, you see, as I warned you before, this fabric of my sleepwear is thin, and it's my only barrier from assaulting you, I'm afraid. I'm absolutely terrified of you waking up to feeling me poking you in some way, and being traumatized by it. Annie herself has been revolted by this part of my anatomy, and has made me swear I'll never try to hold her at night because of it. Which I understand completely, of course."

"I think that's a very womanly thing to be upset over, but Parker, I'm a man like you. I too might end up with an erection in my sleep, pressing against you. Are you worried about that on your end? About my hardness touching you and making you disturbed?"

"Of course not. There's nothing that your body could do that would disgust or bother me in the slightest."

"That's how I feel about you. Please will you let yourself just fall asleep like this and not worry about me at all tonight?"

"Only if you promise that if you wake up, and I'm, you know, erect, if it's bothering you, you'll not feel obligated to stay in my arms."

"I won't, I promise."

"Then, my dear friend, let's face our dreams in each other's arms."

That night, I awoke to feel my neck was stiff from lying on Parker's chest so long, so I turned over on my back. Not wanting to lose his embrace, I just twisted 180 degrees, his hands settling on my bare chest. I easily fell back asleep in his warm arms.