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IT ALL BEGINS
"Is anyone sitting here?"
"Looks like you are." I said, somewhat impolitely.
"I'm Rex." A man extended a large hand with a firm grip, "Actually it's Regis, that what it says on my birth certificate, but I hate it, I rechristened myself in high school." "Regis and Rex mean pretty much the same. Is there anything particularly regal about you? Rex broke into a cute smile, "I've been told ..." "And you are?"
"James."
"Not Jim, Jimmy, just James." "My dad used to call me Jimbo. I was James Junior, giving your kids your own name can get a bit confusing."
"Jimbo, I like that. I'll call you Jimbo."
"For a man who's only known me for two minutes, aren't you assuming some liberties." "Everything starts somewhere, Jimbo."
I was toying with the food on my tray. "What's that?" "They called it goulash." "Not good?" "Somewhere south of disgusting." "This is pretty good." He sliced his lasagna in half and dumped half of it on my plate. Rex wasn't going to let social propriety and gentility stand in the way of a new friendship, and I was sure he had a lot of them.
"How long have you been here, Jimbo?
"Three days."
"Junior College transfer?"
"No, I'm a freshman."
"I thought you were a Junior like me. You look older, and carry yourself pretty well. I'm a physics major, math minor."
"Just Liberal arts right now, but I'll probably move into business when I'm a Junior."
We became friends, good friends, we saw each other frequently off and on for over a month. He had a small efficiency apartment, just off campus. I had never seen it until one day ... "Jimbo, would you like to spend the 3-day weekend at my place?" "Why?" "Because I'd like you to. But the real reason is I want to get you in my bed and not let you out until Monday night."
You could have knocked me over with a feather. "You're the last man I would ever have thought was gay."
"Don't like that word. I just like having sex with my friends, and you are my friend."
"I don't know, I've never had sex with a man, with anyone really. I used to make out with girls, squeezed and sucked on some nice titties, had one hand job, but that's it." "If you don't say yes, you'll regret it."
"Okay Rex, I'll try it, but If I was to call it off, you have to promise you will."
"On my honor, Jimbo, I don't want to rape you, I want to share some highly intimate hours with a close friend."
He went into his kitchenette and brought out two rum and colas, "Cuba Libre's. They're the same, pick the one you want."
"Rex, I don't know what to do, do we get naked or something?"
"Eventually we'll get naked or nothing, but all things in time."
"If I were one of the girls you messed with in high school, what would you?" "I'd kiss you." "Do it." I did. "If that is how you kissed, no wonder you never got fucked."
"Not exactly." Jimbo replied. "Then do it, exactly." I put my arms around him, Rex hugged me, and I put my partially open mouth over his, he sucked on my lower lip, while I sucked on his upper, and then we did deep tongue kissing. "Then what, you horny teenager." "I'd stick my hands up your shirt and undo your bra." "I'm a liberated woman, Jimbo, don't wear a bra."
Then I'd grab your boobs, squeeze them until your nipples hardened up, then I'd suck them."
"Do it." "But you don't have the right equipment."
"It's different, but just as nice." I put my hand under his shirt and up to his chest. What I found weren't soft, but nicely rounded pecs. As I felt them, his nipples did pop up, not like a girl's, but they were bigger than mine. "Take my shirt off, bad boy." "Well, are you going to do it or not?" He grabbed my head and forced my face down on his nipple. I sucked on it. Then he pushed my head harder into his chest. "Bite it."
I moved back and forth between them, and it was more than obvious Rex was enjoying what I was doing.
"Do you want me to do this to you? Jimbo."
"Shut up and do it." It was one of the best make-out sessions I ever had. A man is very different.
"It's time to get to bed, Jimbo, and sleep. In the morning we'll explore more. Tomorrow, we'll be in here naked, but tonight leave your briefs on."
I put my head on that pec I had played with and put my hand on his abs. My hand slid down to the full pouch in his briefs, but not intentionally. He wasn't hard anymore and a nice cock laid across a good set of balls under that fabric.
"You planning on doing something with that?"
"Yes, but tomorrow." We kissed and said good night.
"Good morning, Jimbo." He went to bed with his briefs on, but they weren't there now. He handed me a hot cup of coffee.
"I haven't seen a lot of naked men in my life, but those are princely crown jewels, your highness."
"They may be princely, but I'd prefer them `knightly,' Jimbo," we both laughed.
"What is this?" "Irish coffee." "Are you trying to get me snockered?" "No, I've had sex with a good number of drunken men; I don't like it, and it can get dangerous."
"I just want you to be able to relax while we grow together. I know that this is a little scary for you."
"Will you get me out of these, I don't have any place to set this down. He removed my briefs and I felt much more comfortable with him now that we were both naked.
"Can I get personal, Rex?"
"More personal than this! The next step is a proctological exam."
"I kind of expect that that is where this all is going, but you're in charge. But I mean personal, not physical."
"Ask away, If I don't think I can answer I tell you why. But be careful what you ask for, because you'll likely get it."
"Have there been a lot of men in here with you?"
"Yes, in your terms, not enough in mine."
"But you've only been at Princeton two years."
"Your point?"
"When did you start having sex with men?"
"The `with men' is redundant, it's all I've ever had."
"When?"
"Since the eighth grade, about nine years."
"How many?"
"Won't answer that, Jimbo. It will present you too many doors that you don't want to open."
"Thanks for sharing, Rex, it's not exactly pretty, but it was good that you shared it, kiss me."
"Do you have any more of this?" I handed him my coffee cup. "Made two for both of us."
I took the second cup and said, "What's todays lesson, professor?" "Today isn't a lesson, it's a workshop."
"I was late, and my goldfish ate my homework, I don't have it, maybe I need to be disciplined."
"Oh, Jimbo, I knew you'd get into this. We will, but we'll share it."
"This morning we will start with shared oral, by the end of the day, Jimbo, you will not be a virgin." Yesterday, that would have probably made me say no, but I needed him.
"Just pay attention, this is really kind of easy. It's like sucking on a popsicle, but a hot one." He started sucking my balls, which surprised me. I had grown up thinking that nuts are a risky place to play, but they can really take a lot, and Rex knew just what to do with them. I was as hard as I'd ever been. He sucked on my glans, then slowly, oh so slowly slid down my shaft. He took all of me. I have the proverbial six inches, and I don't even hedge on it. It was so sweet, he held my balls while he sucked me, and with every down stroke came a gentle squeeze. I knew I was getting close.
"Are you ready to do it?"
"Yes, I think, but what do you do with the spunk?"
"Several options, I swallow it, it makes cleaning up easy. Some drop it out of their mouths and create a mess, but cleaning that up can be fun too."
"What does it taste like?"
"Never?"
"Then we'll skip to chapter three." He took me back in his mouth and sucked.
"I'm going to cum, Rex." He grabbed my balls hard, and I did. Then he gave me another surprise. He deep kissed me with his mouth full of my cum. I didn't like it, but having him in my mouth was worth it. It was a sharing I couldn't have expected.
"My turn?"
Yes, but we won't go all the way. I've got better things to do with this." "Three things come out of these sticks, Jimbo, two you know, piss and cum. There aren't really a lot of men who have a lot of the third, many none, I do, and I'm going to share it with you, which is being very generous of me."
"Do you want me to suck your balls?" "Not now. Just give me a slow, and I mean slow, blow job."
"Stop."
"Just watch, Jimbo," He stroked his cock and a clear thin fluid oozed out of his glans, not piss, not white cum. It ran down his cock. He collected as much as he could in his hand, about a teaspoon or so and said, "Taste this."
It was sweet, warm and creamy, I didn't even know that stuff existed. "I never share that, Jimbo, it's my nectar and it's all for me, but go and get the rest of it out of the tap, there's about the same amount still in there. I won't let the other stuff out." I didn't know a man could stop it.
"Ever had one of these?" Rex was holding a thick brown cigar.
"Where?"
"Well, I guess anywhere you want it, Jimbo, but I was thinking between your lips."
"I've never ..."
"You've said that a lot, I hope it never stops." "Let's go out on the porch, I don't like to smoke in here." Rex showed me how to prepare and light a cigar. "Use the cutter to make a nice smooth cut across the butt. Put it in your mouth and warm the end with the lighter, rotating it to keep the light even. Draw softly on the end, like a really sweet blow job. Like love, don't rush it just let the fire develop." He made the cut and commenced the process. "Don't inhale, just draw the smoke in gently into your mouth...savor it and let it out."
"Well, you have been a bad boy, so you do need a spanking, but you'll like it." He rolled my legs up under my shoulders, I was kind of hog-tied with my own arms. He spanked me, not terribly hard, but it was a spanking and I'm sure my ass was pink, until it became something a whole lot warmer and more special.
"Are you kissing my ass hole?"
"Just for starters." He sucked my anal button between his lips, then licked it and did it again, and again. I didn't know that a man's body could feel like that. He stuck his tongue deeply into my anus, my ass was dripping wet. He kissed me, after he'd frenched my ass. "Geeze, really!?!" I wondered, half fascinated and half horrified.
"This is going to hurt a little, always does, but its quick, and then it's, ... but you'll find out."
I guess I was about to be deflowered, but it was so worth it. He filled me with searing hot sperm, then collapsed on me. We fell asleep. When we woke, I kissed him and asked if I could do that to him. "We've gone about as far as we are going to go. Insane men go further, but I don't go there anymore, and I won't share." "You don't ever have to ask, just tell me what you want, Jimbo. I will never say no."
"Do you have regulars in here, Rex?"
"I rarely do repeats, it can be complicated."
I was crushed, "Aren't you going to let me back?" I was on the verge of tears.
"I haven't decided if I'm even going to let you leave, Jimbo. Yes, you can always come back. There may be another man here, but you're still welcome."
We went to sleep Monday night, in a full body nude hug. "I love you, Rex." "No you don't--I don't even know what that means." I put my arm over his chest, kissed his nipple instead of his lips and said to myself, "Yes I do, shit head, and you are going to learn."
I spent a lot of time with Rex, mostly alone, but he said I was welcome anytime. A naked man answered his door, it wasn't Rex. "Greg, you too." "I guess it's not you too, but we three, James."
Greg was my lab partner. I liked him a lot, but never expected this. I hadn't gotten my gaydar turned on, Rex never told me about it until later. Oh, was it a sweet night. Three men who care about each other sharing what we shared was beautiful. I remembered the night. I met a lot of men at Rex's, not all of whom I wanted to continue a relationship with, but Rex had great taste in men, and not just sex. When he graduated, I took over his apartment and some of his harem. I couldn't take it all.
Rex went to MIT to get a doctorate in nuclear physics. I stayed at Princeton to get my master's in business management. Rex got his doctorate degree when I got my masters, he was coming home. I couldn't wait. The trip from Boston to Princeton is a pretty short flight. I was at the airport waiting for him. It was September 11, 2001. They made the announcement and I collapsed. I called his phone, desperately, "No Service."
SO LOST AND ALONE
I went home, though it wasn't really home anymore, it was always ours, even after four years. I grabbed a magic marker. I was going to write "Go Away" on my door, what I wrote was "Touch this door and I'll rip your arm off and beat you to death with it." I'm in no way a violent man, never struck anyone, but I was wound so tight I didn't know what I was capable of. It scared me. I had just lost the only man I ever really cared about, the only one I'd ever loved. Letting another man ever touch me again was painfully unimaginable. I cried myself to sleep for two days, then awoke trembling in a cold sweat. A voice deep inside me, a voice, but not a voice said, "Get help, Jimbo. I'm never far."
The community health clinic had opened a support center for people who had lost loved ones in 9/11. I knew about it, but didn't want to go, I couldn't share this. The dream made me. I met a lovely woman, a couple of years older than me, her name was Jane.
"Who was it?" She asked. "A friend, a very close friend, more like a brother." I didn't share anything else about our relationship.
She was so easy to talk to, I told her what a wonderful man Rex was. She led me beautifully through the five stages of grief for two weeks.
Half way through I asked, "Jane, can I help you here, I think that I have something to offer these people that only someone like me can?" I filled out the application as a support person and was accepted.
"I'm so glad we're colleagues now, since I can't be `involved' with a client. She kissed me and said, "You are a sweet and caring man, and out of your pain a lot of these people will heal more quickly."
Love leaves an emptiness in you when it's gone, but they don't tell you, so does grief. Jane soon occupied all of that space. We fell in love, married, and had three beautiful children.
Sam was born. He was as ugly a monkey as any baby is, but he was beautiful to me and I loved him immediately. Jane was pregnant shortly again with our daughter. Having two children so close together was hard. She was bedridden for four months. No sex. The need for men came back hard, but I didn't know how to take care of it. I had a successful business that I couldn't risk. I found a website called Craig's List. I was very selective in men. I introduced myself to very few and eventually had a couple of regulars, if every couple of weeks was regular. We shared nice sex, but it was always Rex with me, never them.
Sally was a lovely baby. Jane and I agreed Sally would be the last one. Jane's body couldn't tolerate the pill, so it was up to me. The upside to this, if there is one, is I didn't have to hide the box of condoms any more, but I hope Jane didn't keep count. The down side was she was pregnant again in two years.
If Sally was rough, this one almost killed her, literally. Her doctor put her to bed at six months. She developed severe high blood pressure. To save them both, John was delivered by Caesarean section three weeks premature. There was much bleeding and ultimately an emergent hysterectomy was needed. Jane was in the ICU after the surgery. I put on scrubs and a mask and was led into the neonatal ICU. There he was, my second son, and totally naked like all of the babies in here under warming lights. I didn't think they were capable of it, but when I walked up to his crib our blue eyes locked on each other and he smiled. My soul melted, I loved both of my children, but I was in love with John. He couldn't have known I was his father.
"Have you seen him, James, I haven't." "Yes, he's beautiful, and he's all boy." The nurse said they would take me to the nursery window later, but I'm still not able to go in.
LIFE GOES ON
James had bought a beautiful lot on "THE" lake...his business afforded him the wherewithal to do so, and now that Sam had finished college and joined him in business, there might be some free time to enjoy the water and the weekends and just relax a little. Of course, everyone still depended on him to make decisions and keep the ship afloat, but he could take some weekends off. As well, the travel and second home might provide a little freedom to let him play without dodging his wife and family. There were weeks when all he could think of was cock, really big cock, and how to get it!
One Saturday, James needed to go to the new property and site the planned lake house. Johnny asked if he could come along, and while a bit disappointed, James knew he could not say no without some contrived excuse. He had been told (in strictest confidence, of course by a buddy) the contractor he was to meet was not averse to a little man-playtime and he had planned to find out if he really did have an 8-inch uncut dick. Now, those plans were on hold, since Johnny had invited himself along. He dealt with his frustration, and inevitable blue balls, in silence as he climbed into his Tahoe. The ride to the lake took about an hour...long enough to start a cigar and catch up on Johnny's life as a freshman in high school. They talked of sports and grades and plans, but no girls. Arriving at the lot, he found the contractor, who was, as described, easy on the eyes. Introductions were made and the two men and Johnny walked the property discussing where to put the house and the dock. James made sure he walked behind Chad and Johnny so he could feast on Chad's muscular frame and glorious ass...thinking all the while about what he might be packing up front. He couldn't help but notice, as well, how firm and developed Johnny had become--but he couldn't let his mind go there. After several hours, the mission was accomplished and James and Johnny got back in the Tahoe for the trip home. They had been on the road for about fifteen minutes when James heard the unmistakable Grindr chirp and nearly shit a brick. He glanced down at his phone but didn't see any telltale notifications. He glanced over to see if Johnny, his handsome 15 year-old had noticed anything. What he saw was his youngest child trying to mute his cell phone and act like nothing was wrong. "You OK, son?" Johnny replied "Yessir, that was coach announcing a called practice." "OK son, we'll be home soon"
The rest of the trip involved banalities, but James couldn't help but wonder. When they got home, Johnny bolted to his room and James checked his phone. No one had messaged him on Grindr. As soon as James looked at his Grindr account, he noticed a nearby profile named J-1 who described himself as a newbie...was that Johnny, he wondered? As an added measure of caution, he deleted JIMBO, his personal profile...he could create another one that was less obvious later. Over the next few weeks, James couldn't get that Grindr ping out of his mind. Was Johnny gay...or at least bi? Was he sexually active at 15? Many kids are. Who did he know, if anyone? How did he feel about his life? Did he suspect anything about his dad? That was the real question in James' mind. James remembered his own confusion and isolation as a young man who didn't know himself. Johnny shouldn't have to grow up like that.
Another Saturday arrived and James needed to meet Chad again. This time, he invited Johnny to come along. As they drive out to the lake, James brought up Johnny's approaching 16th birthday. "You know having a car brings a lot of freedom, but also a lot of choices and responsibilities. You'll have a lot less oversight when you can travel around on your own. Son, please make thoughtful choices you won't regret. Be safe and careful." Johnny listened as intently as any teenager could then asked "What sort of choices do you mean?" "Well, like not drinking and driving. Don't put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Choose your friends wisely. Be safe sexually." James answered, adding "You know you can always come to me and discuss anything--without your mother having to know. I love you unconditionally" They arrived at the lake and met Chad. This time, Chad led the way and both Johnny and James spent time admiring the view. Both the father and the son worked really hard to stay focused on the discussion about windows. When the business was done for the day, Chad offered James a beer and said "If you're okay with it, Johnny can have one too". "He's not quite sixteen, but he can have ONE". Johnny couldn't believe how cool his dad was being. The trio drank their beer and said their good-byes. As the father and son climbed into the Tahoe, Chad called out "I'm going to need you to schedule a couple of days here to settle some finish details...maybe you can just get a room in town for a night or two." James swallowed hard and replied "I'll call you next week." He was inwardly delighted.
The trip home was fairly quiet...until we got close to home.
Johnny had been on his phone texting and playing games. James was lost in the thoughts of finally meeting Chad, and of his earlier conversation with Johnny. Quietly, almost meekly, Johnny said "Dad thank you for the talk. I love you and I know you are always there. Thank you for not treating me like a kid. I love you." James replied "I'm always here." As they turned into the driveway at home, Johnny said one last thing--"I hope Jimbo's dad is a good as you..." James looked at Johnny...he knew!
James looked Johnny straight into his brilliant blue eyes (they were just like his own) and stared for just a moment. He felt the need to hide from his baby boy and question what Johnny knew simultaneously. Before any word could be spoken, Sally bounded out to the Tahoe and all but dragged her dad in to see a letter offering her a summer internship at Sotheby's in New York. Could she go please? Jane jumped into the conversation and one thing led to another. In the mass confusion, Johnny slipped away to his room and then came down and said he was going for a run. By the time he returned, Sam had come by to ask his dad some work questions and Jane decided they would just all go out for supper. Dinner was at a noisy local favorite...but James' appetite was poor. He noticed Johnny didn't eat much either. When questioned about it, he simply said "Oh, we had a late lunch."
It was not until later, when Sally had gone out with her sorority sisters and Jane had gone up to bed that the conversation happened. "I guess we need to talk, don't we son?" James poured a little more whiskey and offered a little to Johnny, who accepted gratefully. "You are Jimbo, aren't you?" I nodded. Over the next two hours a flood of emotions, accusations fears and desires poured out. I tried my best to explain that in my youth I had the same feelings he did, but chose to do the "right thing" by my family. I hoped he could understand that I love Jane and all my children more than ever, but my personal needs didn't mesh with my public persona. I assured him he would never be forced to make that choice--live that lie. He conceded he was still a virgin and all he knew was from man sex on the Internet. He had so many questions and I had so few answers. Finally, there was the question, "Dad, when did you have sex with a guy for the first time?" Memories of Rex overtook me as I told him I was in college. I never mentioned a name, or divulged any specifics other than to say it was a wonderful, exciting and utterly fulfilling time in my life. "Do you still keep in touch?" I cried a little and told him Rex had died in a tragic way which had left me more than a little broken. Johnny hugged me and whispered to me "I love you...more than you can know. Please teach me...show me how to love a man...be my first."
I was stunned...shocked, even. Part of me wanted to take him then and there. In a moment, I was able to gather myself, look him in the eye and tell him "I'll help you learn, but I can't be your teacher. You're my son and it just isn't right. You're my best friend and I don't want to spoil that, and sadly sex can do that to people. Let me think this through."
We both heard Sally drive up, hugged tightly and said "I love you," before she got in. Feigning exhaustion, Johnny and I went up to bed. I didn't sleep much and I rather doubted he did. We talked a little on Sunday, but life always seems to intrude. Both of us had busy weeks which also limited our time alone. Friday he had a long-arranged football retreat out of town. As I put him on the bus with his friends, I knew he was far more of a man than they.
MUCH MORE THAN MY CONTRACTOR
By Thursday, I knew Jane was going to be busy this weekend--was it church stuff--or the Junior League--or the gardens? Who knew, except that it really didn't involve me beyond American Express. I called Chad to see if this weekend would work, then booked a room at the nearest hotel to the lake. We agreed to meet and look at stuff for the lake house at four on Friday. After a couple of hours of selecting AC equipment and rocks for the sea wall, Chad said "Enough of this for today...you go check in and come on over to my place. I've got a steak with your name on it and...some dessert." The last comment wasn't lost on me. I got to his house, also on the lake. He met me at the door and fixed me a really stiff drink. "Let's sit on the porch." He started the grill and lit a cigarette and invited me to fire up a cigar. One drink lead to another and another. I called Jane (or rather her voicemail) and told her good night and I loved her and we'd talk in the morning. After supper, as we were washing up, Chad came up behind me, indecently close, wrapped a strong pair of arms around me and asked "Want some dessert?" There was no mistaking the offer or the intent. He led me to his room and like horny teenagers we undressed each other. I couldn't restrain myself and seemingly neither could he. We kissed deeply, soulfully. We explored each other in every way possible. I was thankful I had taken a moment to prep at the hotel as he moved in to fuck. The suggested 8 inches was all that and rock hard. He entered me gently but authoritatively, filling me in a way I'd not known in a long time. The pleasurable pain was what I needed. We flipped and he bought out the best in my more normal endowment. The passion was real...the release unbelievably cathartic." Holding each other tightly, Chad lit another cigarette and said "That was just as great as I remembered it!'
I looked at him intently. Had we met before? When and where? He exhaled a puff of smoke...handed me the roach clip and said "You don't remember, do you? I'm not surprised. I was one of Rex's friends and we played at his place. I always thought you were special, but there were so many guys around. I left town just before Rex went on to grad school, but I never forgot him...or you. His death really hit me and I know it had to crush you. You guys were so obviously in love--not just in lust like the rest of us. We hugged and cuddled and I never went to my hotel.
The next morning, after great sex, breakfast, we got back to the house. I called Jane and discussed several details and texted some pictures of things. Chad and I talked and I found out that he too had married a woman. They divorced after she caught him balls deep in their dentist, before they had any kids. He went onto become a successful real estate guy before "retiring" to the lake to build custom homes, his passion. I told him about Johnny and the week we had had. He listened and cuddled and in the afterglow said "The only thing left from my short marriage is my wife's first cousin, Cecile. She and I remain close. She has a boy, Bob that I have tried to help. That bastard she married left her high and dry when he was a baby. As much as possible, I spent time with them--helped them out with money some. Bob came out to me about a year ago--really confused about life. He must be like Johnny."
"Let's introduce them...they live in the same town...they're about the same age...we'll make it clear this is a safe learning time...help them find themselves and provide a safety net" We looked each other in the eyes...smiled and Chad said "Let's sleep, but not necessarily sleep, on that idea." Sunday morning, I woke up a new man. After more sex and more talk, I ran by the hotel, messed up the bed (I don't know why, it was like a cat trying to cover on a linoleum floor, like the maids can't tell when a bed hasn't been slept in, or even care.), Ishowered and checked out. I called Jane and said I'd be home in an hour or so. Her voicemail took the message.
I got back home, somewhat sated, or maybe drained, after the weekend with Chad. The question of Johnny... and now, of Bob, consumed me. How should I be the good father, the loving and supportive dad and the responsible adult. How could I help Johnny--help Chad with Bob--and be true to my beliefs and personal ethics. I wanted my son to find out who he is as a man (in the making) without me type casting him, but I didn't want him to go it alone, like I had. I wanted him to feel safe and protected, but able to explore. I went to a file cabinet I kept locked, opened it and pulled out something I had had for years--a book I bought just before I met Rex. I had devoured every page...every word...every drawing. I leafed through it and relived those days. I messaged Chad. I told him what I had in mind. Think on it, and let me know. The next day, he messaged--we only communicated by text and agreed. I messaged back: See you Saturday at 11.00. Tell Bob I'll pick him up at 9.15 sharp. Then I told Johnny I needed him to go with me to the lake. When I told Jane, she said "Let me go too, I want to see the progress on the house!" I didn't say no, but I did put her off until Sunday. She was delighted.
THE BOYS 1
Chad had told Cecile he needed Bob to help him on our house..."Behind schedule...so much to be done...need some extra hands...spending money for him." She agreed, and the plan was put in motion. I picked up Bob as planned. He was a nice, somewhat nervous 17 year old--polite, but quiet. His polo and jeans fit him well and there was an attractive bulge in his Levi's. "I think Johnny's going to like that," I said to myself. I introduced Johnny to him. The two seemed to hit it off--not famously, but well enough. The trip to the lake was banter and a bit of bravado--school and sports, video games and plans. So far, so good. They seemed comfortable enough with each other.
We arrived at Chad's house and went in. After a circumspect greeting and a few comments about my lake house, Chad suggested lunch. He offered beer to the boys and me. We all ate our burgers. After we finished, Chad said "Boys, there's more to this than a lake house. I'm going to betray a confidence and so is James. When we're done you are each free to speak your mind, ask any questions or make any comments. The usual age restraints are off the table." With that, he proceeded to out our past...and more recent relationship. I then asked the boys if they had anything to add. They were quiet for a minute, then Johnny looked around at us all and said "I came out to Dad several weeks ago." Bob was astounded "And I did to Uncle Chad!" The gates had been opened; the flood began. There was a general cacophony of "I love you...I'm proud of you...you're the best...where do we go...how does this work out...who else knows?" I waited for a little calm.
When the commotion died down a bit, I excused myself for a moment. I came back from the car with a brown paper bag and put it on the table. "Here's what we propose," said Chad "You guys are going to work for me here at the lake this summer. Bob's 17 and you've just turned 16 last week Johnny. You are at the age your need summer jobs, and I really can use the help." I followed "We want you to explore...but be safe. I didn't think it best for two older men to tell you how to live. Rather I, no we, want you to question and explore and grow. There should be no shame, no guilt and above all no judgement. You may find you're not comfortable with each other--or you may find a new best friend. We're not trying to set you up, just helping you along. When you do have questions, Chad and I are here--Chad for you Johnny, and me for you Bob--or both of us for both of you." Chad then said "You can live in that little cabin at the Smith's place. We're going to tear it down when we start their new house. If you agree, you can move in in two weeks when school is out for the summer." The two boys looked frankly astonished, but readily agreed to the idea. "There is one last thing" I said, reaching into the bag. "Once upon a time, this was invaluable to me. I have not looked at in many years, but it may be helpful to you now. I expect it back in one piece, but I hope you will read it thoroughly and view it as a guide-a textbook even." With that I laid the book on the table...the one I had bought in shame so many years before (I shared it with Rex for two years. Self help texts are much better with a tutor, and Rex knew it all! ) The boys, Chad and I regarded a much-loved copy of "The Joy of Gay Sex."
"Bed time guys, James and Johnny get the big room, you and I get the other one, Bob." "Don't think so, Uncle Chad. You and James take the big bed, Johnny and I will make do." He kissed us both and so did Johnny, then he picked up the book and they walked off together. Of course, the boys were no strangers to male sex, and they'd probably seen all of it even if they hadn't done any of it. Johnny so much as told me that. But the beauty of the book was that it was about loving relationships and joy, not lust.
The boys came into Chad's bedroom in the morning, completely naked; of course, Chad and I were too. They had brought us coffee. As I took my cup I asked, "Sleep well?" "Couldn't exactly say that dad," said Johnny.
Bob chimed in, "But we had a good night, read a lot of the book." "What's in here?" Chad asked. "Coffee, sugar, and Irish Cream."
"Can we get in there with you guys?" I put my arm out and Johnny crawled underneath, Chad did the same for Bob. It was warm, lovely, we hugged, and cuddled; then the boys spontaneously changed places (that had to be planned, the lovely little shits!). We were all naked but it wasn't in any way erotic, just totally natural. I felt like I had just inherited a third son. Chad had to feel the same way. Oh, boy was this working.
Work in the lake house was proceeding nicely...not as quickly as I would have liked...but okay. It was obvious we would not be in by July 4th, so we set our minds on Labor Day for a big housewarming party. The boys were busy working by day and doing whatever they felt like after hours. I was, frankly, jealous of Chad's proximity to them, but he assured me he was leaving them to their own devices. Jane was coming along with me more and more--supervising the decorating of the house, so Chad and I didn't have but a few short play sessions at his place. At the last of these, early in the second week of August, I presented an idea to him--let's give a final exam to the boys. I laid out the premise--Chad listened intently and agreed. I knew Jane had some Junior League project coming up and scheduled the final inspection on the house and walk through on the same days--she could come out when she finished Friday afternoon. We messaged the boys so as not to interrupt anything and went over to the Smith cabin. Walking in, we hugged each other. They were enthusiastic about how great the summer had been...sad to see it end...not looking forward to the school year and so on. I asked for my book back and Johnny retrieved it. I handed it to Chad for safekeeping and said "You guys have a final exam this Thursday. I hope you have prepared well. Chad and I will be your examiners!" Of course they had questions but Chad firmly shushed them--"You'll have to wait until Thursday. Be prepared in every way!" I knew I had to get back--Jane had already texted twice, so we left rather abruptly. We grinned and waved goodbye to the boys.
THE BOYS 2
The next few days went by agonizingly slowly. Thursday morning finally arrived and I left for the lake about 8 am. I arrived at Chad's and he had the few things we needed for the test. We finished our prep work--mental and physical--and waited for the boys to arrive at noon. They were five minutes early and more than a little curious. I was struck by how much Johnny had matured in such a short period. He was composed and confident. "So tell us about the exam" they asked in unison. "Johnny, you are my son and I want to keep our relationship at that level, so Chad will be your examiner and I will be Bob's. That is an unbreakable rule. You each will get one pass if there is something you don't want to do." Chad produced several small brown bags and explained the rules. "You will each draw four slips of paper out of your task bag and put them in your personal bag. The same tasks--selected by us are in each bag and there are eight different options. James and I have a bag with the words `top...bottom and mutual' on them. After the selection is complete, Bob will go with James and you, Johnny, will come with me. When we get to our rooms, the man will pick something we found in the book and you will pick your role from our bag. You may reject one of the four slips--but only one--you may not change the role. GOOD LUCK!" The boys reacted enthusiastically. Now the fun could begin.
The selections were made and we retired to bedrooms where all we needed had been laid out. I closed the door and stared into Bob's eyes "I hope this will be a very hard exam...time to get started!" The anticipation we shared was overwhelming. Bob reached into the bag and pulled out the first slip of paper...looked at it and motioned for me to pick my slip. He had drawn out sensual massage and I had top. I embraced him--held him tightly, our tongues exploring each other and hands feeling around with abandon. He broke off the kiss and began to undress me and I him. He was so young, so firm but like Johnny had a confidence that was inspiring. I helped him finish undressing and admired his taut body and engorging cock. He spread a towel on the bed and motioned me to lie face down. Starting with my feet, he rubbed and caressed and massaged me working upward and ending at the tip of my thighs, all the while whispering how hot I was. Then he moved to my neck and shoulders and worked his way down to my buttocks. He spent an lot of time there and massaged around my anus particularly gently and tenderly. He flipped me over and repeated the sequence starting again at my feet then moving to my arms and shoulders. He asked if was doing ok--what could I say but "Mmmmmmmm--yeah" he worked his way down my abdomen and then began caressing my nuts. I felt his hand on my dick--the warm oil mixing with my precum. I felt his lips touch the head and then his tongue lick all around. Jokingly, I said "Massage-not blow job!" He quickly replied "But no one said I couldn't do a little tongue massage either!" He smeared a little more precum on his lips, then moved to kiss me on mine. "How'd I do?" He smiled. "A+" I murmured.
We took a moment, savoring the peace and then he said "What's next?" We moved back to the bag. Bob picked out another slip of paper, looked at it and frowned. I laughed and said, "You do have ONE pass, but you don't know what else is in the bag!" The boy replied "I'll take my pass!" and handed me the paper--water sports. "Draw again, then" I said as he reached for the bag. He glanced at the paper and grinned. I pulled out my slip and looked at it: MUTUAL. "What are we doing?" I asked. He showed his slip: Rimming. "My favorite!" said James. We jumped back on the bed and I dove between his firm ass cheeks, savoring the scent of clean young hole. I caressed his pucker with my tongue, moving up and down the crack, nibbling and licking before attacking that pucker. He moaned and moved in on my ass. Because we were about as tall as each other, we had to take turns on each other. For half an hour or so we worked each other's ass, tasting and nibbling and working our tongues into the center of our universe. He did an admirable job opening my ass and tongue fucking me to ecstasy. I moaned like a whore before finishing him up with a long slow tongue job that had him whimpering and shaking. "God damn, God damn, fuck" he said, half sighing and half cooing. Another A+.
I knew I would be the bottom for the last round, so I was filled with anticipation as to the task. I knew the possibilities. Bob pulled out the paper looked at it and smiled...a bit uncertainty he said "I know you're the bottom but only if you're sure..." "I don't get a pass-that's the rules..." He handed me the slip--anal intercourse. Back in the bed, I looked at him. This was the first real study of his cock. While cut and not quite as long as his uncle's, he had Chad beat for girth. I sucked a little as his applied lube to my nicely opened hole. I rolled onto my back and he slipped a pillow under my hips. "Go on!" I encouraged him. At that point he wasted no time. In his youthful enthusiasm, he entered a little roughly and a little fast. I took it like a man but it hurt like shit! He sensed that and slowed his first thrust. After giving me a moment to accommodate him, he resumed a relentless in and out that stretched me wide open. He was like a machine...hard as only a young man can be. He was lost in lust, heaving and panting "fuck, Fuck, FUCK!" He couldn't slow his pace at that point and he pummeled me mercilessly. At once, my ass was on fire and completely satisfied. I just laid back and enjoyed the ride. He groaned, covered my mouth with his and exploded in my ass. I felt shot after searing shot of cum jet into me as he collapsed in a sweaty spent heap onto me. "Fuck!!!" we said, almost like an amen. We cuddled and kissed, gently, passions spent for a bit. He nibbled my ear and whispered "Did I pass?" "I'm gonna have to give you a B...the pounding was great--fabulous but you're entry was more than a little rough. You just need more practice!" "Johnny and I haven't ever done it, I just went by the book There's a lot of stuff in there. We've only shared ourselves for three months, we did a whole lot of repeats of the stuff we liked, but nowhere near all of it." He looked crestfallen. I hugged him, pointed out he had a solid A average.
"C'mon, Johnny, show me how much you've grown up over the summer." "Can I undress you, Uncle Chad?" That was a good start. We stripped each other. For some reason we had the book. "Have you guys done all this?" "Not hardly, we just found what we liked and kept doing it. We've read it all often, some of it we won't do. Some of it we couldn't figure out how to do. We would have asked if we wanted to."
"You know your dad's rules?" I nodded. Johnny reached into his bag, oral foot massage. I pulled out, mutual. "Done this?"
"Don't know why you would. "Since it's mutual I'll get us started, it's kind of like ten little blow jobs, with a lot of licking."
"Oh, are Bob and I going to do that a lot."
"Johnny pulled out, 69; I pulled out top, but it didn't make any difference." I looked at Johnny, questioningly.
"Damn near every night, we went to sleep that way."
Third pull. I pulled out top, Johnny pulled throat fuck. "If I were you, Johnny, I'd take your pass, if I really did it, it could hurt you."
Last pull, I pulled a position out of my bag, bottom. "James, you SOB." I said to myself as Johnny pulled Fisting.
"If I had pulled top, Johnny we would break the rules, but I think we can do this. Do you know what this is." "Yes, but I don't know why or how." "I've only done this two or three times, but it can be fun. What you need to do is close your fingers up as slender as you can, not a fist, but an arrow point. Then you'll stick is slowly into my lubed ass. Once in there, then you'll make a fist and slowly rotate it around. There's a spot in there called a love nut, and when your fist rubs against it, it will be very nice for me; honestly, you're not going to get anything out of this."
After a few more minutes in bed, Bob and I got up and went into the den. Johnny and Chad were cuddled together on the sofa... chatting. "How'd Bobby Boy do?" Chad asked. "Solid A..." I said. "Did Johnny pass?" "Valedictorian!" "You didn't! I put that in there as a pass."
"Too late, but you're going to pay in kind, James." I said holding up my huge arm and fist.
"What are you talking about, Uncle Carl, Dad." Bob called my father dad and it stuck.
"Johnny will tell you, Bobby." We all hugged and kissed and then the boys wrapped themselves in each other's arms. James and I did the same, the first time we had ever done it in front of the boys. The boys had passed the test and passed from boyhood to young adulthood in the same moment. We cuddled for a while--no one was in a hurry. As darkness fell, my phone chimed. "Hey love, I said to Jane. "Yes, yes the house is perfect and the inspection went great. Yes, most of the furniture has been delivered. They put it where you told them to...Love you too...Can't wait until you get here " That was the cue for the boys to stir and leave for the Smith place. As they departed, Chad looked at me and said "We've got two great guys." "That we do, that we do." The passions of the day had consumed us, so much so that after a steak and a few drinks, there was just cuddling and the long afterglow, augmented by my second life experience with weed.
THE HOUSE WARMING
Jane arrived to carry out her own inspection of the house. She stayed for most of the next two weeks, depriving James of the time he wanted with Chad. The boys had to return to town (why the Hell did school have to start before Labor Day?) but returned for the big weekend. The house really did look great (the perfect blend of city and country), the barbecue was beyond imaginable, I don't know how Jane did it, and all our friends from both the lake and in town had a great time. The party was over after everyone watched the sunset on the water over champagne shrubs. That allowed the city dwellers to get home if they had not overindulged, we had reserved two rooms, just in case. The last guests left and Jane finally kissed me and went to bed, no doubt exhausted, she had outdone herself. "It's just you and me, Johnny, you want to go down to the pier for a cigar. There's a nice full moon over the lake tonight.
Johnny blew out a large puff of smoke. "Dad, do you think that you and I could ever share sex between us?" "Won't say yes, Johnny, but I won't say no; but not until you're eighteen." "That's good enough for me, dad, I love you." "Love you, too Johnny." We kissed, it started out as a father/son kiss, but quickly became deep, erotic and extended. I'm glad Jane didn't see that. "Whoa, dad, I'm going to take that as a definite yes; and I know exactly what page my birthday present is on." We hugged and kissed again. "Let's get back to the house son, before I change my mind." "I'm not in any particular hurry, why are you." "Get your ass up there, young man." I gave him a healthy swat on the butt and we both laughed. Johnny was up early the next morning, he had to get back for school. I stayed to help Jane get some cleaning up done. As I watched him leave, he blew me a kiss--I knew he was good.
Life is funny--not ha-ha funny, but funny. The house was complete and I saw way less of Chad. We would occasionally have the opportunity for play and we messaged a lot about the boys and the skills we taught them. The boys continued their experimentation, but as they grew more confident, they explored relationships with others. We were all happy, if not as satisfied as before. Bob graduated at the end of the year and before we knew it, he was off to college--Chad saw to that. Johnny started his senior year and all was good. He began looking at colleges and we often accompanied him. After Christmas, he sat down with us and discussed his choice--a highly regarded regional liberal arts school with a great reputation. Jane was delighted as it had a strong Greek program and was highly regarded as socially acceptable. He was going to study history with a goal of graduate school.
THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT
After he went out to celebrate with friends, Jane sat down and looked at me quietly. "James, do you think Johnny is gay?...I just get that sense." She wasn't upset, just questioning. "I don't know," I answered, "but if he is, he's still our son!" "Of course, I just want him to be careful and happy." With that she filed the conversation away--never to bring it up to me again.
I felt more than a little guilty, Johnny and I had just shared his eighteenth birthday present the night before and that "I don't know?" was an outright lie. He showed me the book. "You okay with this, dad?" "If it's what you want, son, I'm okay with it." "It's more than what I want, dad, it's what I need. I need you in me, I need you to fill me in every way. You've always given me what I needed, please give me this now. He unfastened my shorts , they fell to my ankles, he pushed my briefs down to meet them, he took my cock in his mouth and began a very good blow job (he was better than Bobby.) while helping me step out of my clothes. Suddenly, I was lost in the moment--all inhibitions fell away. Johnny was doing really well, but this isn't what he wanted. I slipped out of his mouth and turned Johnny so I could eat his ass, so warm and sweet and tender. When he was wet and loose, I sat him on my lap and began slowly fucking him. I noticed tears on his cheek..."Am I hurting you?" "No Dad, you've never hurt me...these are tears of joy". I cried too. It was a slow, gentle. sensual and loving time, more so than any I had ever had in my life. I loved Johnny more than anyone. The pressure in my cock reached an explosive point, I moaned quietly and gave Johnny what he wanted, and a whole lot of it, I hadn't released a load like that in a long time, it was so much it hurt, but hurt good. We hugged and he kissed me deeply. I lifted him off my lap and turned him to expose his ass. I sucked my cum out of his now open hole, I was amazed how much, and moved to kiss him, felching and snowballing was what he wanted, I filling both his ass and mouth with the juice that made him. We shared my gift back and forth until it was gone. "Dad, you have finished what you started eighteen years ago. I'm complete, I'm now a man". We hugged and cuddled and kissed, and cried.
When Johnny was a junior in college and rapidly becoming a BMOC, as handsome quarterbacks always are, he came home for the weekend. It was sunny but cold outside. "Let's ride out to the lake" he said. We all climbed into Jane's car and started out. The conversation was somewhat trivial but it was obvious there was something on his mind. We got to the house, built a fire and sat beneath the beamed ceilings Chad and Bob and Johnny had built. The oak crackled and warmed us nicely. "Mom, Dad we need to talk. It's time you know I'm gay. I'm good with it--it's who I am. I want you to be happy for me." Jane took it like a champ. We cried. I knew, but I cried because he told his mother. We all hugged and laughed. "Is there someone--someone special in your life?" she asked. "There has been." Our blue eyes locked briefly. "No one now, time will tell?" Over the next year, we met a few young men. Paul seemed promising--another pre law student. Then out of the blue, Johnny called me, Bob had messaged him and asked him out for a weekend since he had graduated and had a place of his own. Maybe, maybe, maybe this would work out. Their relationship flourished but was long distance most of the time. Chad and I hadn't had much alone time with each other, but our bond emotionally had grown very deep.
THE BEGINNING OF THE BEGINNING
The phone call from Chad that spring was frantic...please come quickly, I need you, Jimbo, now! I told Jane I was afraid something was terribly wrong with Chad and would call her when I knew what was up--no he wouldn't tell me over the phone. "I have pancreatic cancer--it's inoperable and they give me six months...maybe a year...take care of the boys for me...you were always the one I could count on. They're men, not boys, Chad, but I'll always be there for both of them, and so will Jane. We hugged and cried and reminisced." "Lets go to bed, Chad, until you kick me out, I don't want to leave you and I don't want you to leave me. We shared sex that was different than anything we ever had. Chad was an aggressive fucker in every sense, and I loved it, but he couldn't do it now. We made sweet love for the first and last time. I called Jane and filled her in. She cried.
Knowing the time with Chad was limited, we decided to spend more time at the lake to be near him and help him. If there was a thin silver lining on this large dark cloud, Chad's doctor supplied him with marijuana for pain management until he had to move to heavy opiates, we shared when I could slip away. He wanted us to plant a Japanese maple in our yard to remember him by. There was a reason for that, but only Chad and I knew it. He was too ill to go with us that Saturday morning, so Jane and I headed to our favorite nursery near the lake. I noticed several young men getting gas at the station across the street--they had obviously been drinking all morning. There was a commotion, then one of them jumped in his truck and roared into the street, swerving wildly towards us. I pushed Jane to the side and heard a scream before I lost consciousness.
The pain was unbelievable, unbearable and unrelenting. James came out of the fog he was in, only to realize Hell itself was the only thing that could be this bad. He heard voices, some familiar, others not. Then the fog would descend again, only to be replaced by the searing pain. After an eternity, he made out a voice--his wife's--"Doctor, is it really that bad?" He's dying Jane, and there's nothing we can do to save him, all we can do is try to stem the pain. Hazily, he felt her touch as she whispered in his ear "James, I love you. You always took care of us, even when I knew you wanted to be somewhere else."
Later he recognized his children's voices...sobbing and softly saying their good byes. He couldn't respond, but the voices and the pain...the unending pain...were still there. At last, as the pain began to subside, there was one last voice--Johnny, his youngest, now 20. "Dad, you're the best, you always were, in every way. You gave us everything...even when you wanted a different life. You are a man, strong, never weak. We know you lived your life for us, living only a bit for yourself. I hope you find the man of your dreams in heaven."
With that, the pain eased a bit, then a bit more. The noises faded and all was black. I was being jerked around wildly- like on a roller coaster and there were screams and flames all around. Faces...distorted faces appeared and disappeared in a flash. They were vaguely familiar. James saw himself flash by as a teenager, looking confused and scared. He heard voices that he had heard before but couldn't place. Terror gripped his soul as he prepared for eternity and damnation. As quickly as the ride started, it stopped and James was surrounded by a cold black emptiness. Shivering and naked, there was no comfort, no light--just a visceral hollow loneliness. He reached into the void...nothing..nothing...nothing!!! He cried out in anguish. Even hell would be better than oblivion.
James felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him forward. In the cold and dark, this hand was warm and comforting. It led him to an almost imperceptible spot of light which grew as he approached. Warmth began to flood over him as he entered a beautiful garden that grew out of the light. James turned to see the person attached to the hand on is shoulder. It was Rex, the first man he had had ever loved. He smiled at James and said "I've been waiting for you." As the light brightened, he saw the familiar faces of men he had been emotionally and sexually connected with throughout his life. They were all smiling and drawing him into a realm of warmth and connectedness. Hands caressed him warmly, touching as he had only dreamed of in life. He was kissed passionately. There was no pain, no guilt, no fear--just total fulfillment mentally, emotionally and sexually.
The passion became more intense and pleasurable than I had ever fantasized as we shared each other in the warm glow of the garden. James hoped his family would know he had arrived safely.
Rex and I shared our day with all the other men enjoying the afterlife, free from pain and care. That is why it was so odd when Rex took my hand and lead me to a beautiful maple tree. "We have an appointment," he said. We stepped behind the tree back into the darkness and the void again with weird noises all around. I was scared. "Don't leave me here Rex." "Hold out your hand and wait," Rex said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I felt someone and knew immediately it was Chad. "That's you, Jimbo?" Yes, Chad." Rex wrapped his arms around us, and we around him. That was where it began, and would never end.
There is no time in eternity just joy and love.
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