Everything I Said

By Darren LeVanelle

Published on Jul 28, 2000

Gay

This is a work of fiction. I am in no way implying or stating anything about the real life sexuality of the member of 'N Sync. This story involves homosexuality, and male/male romance. If you are offended by this type of material please leave now. Also if you are under the age of 18, or this type of material is illegal in your state or country, please leave too. All comments and suggestions can be sent to levanelle@yahoo.com as I love to hear EVERYTHING from my readers. Check out my SlashPage for more information about me and my stories at: http://www.angelfire.com/celeb/DLeVanelle/index.html

Also you can try and catch me online. My AIM name is DLeVanelle. I'm always up to chatting with my fans. Hope you enjoy. Later!

-Darren ***********************************************************************

EVERYTHING I SAID

  • Chapter 3 - Written by Darren LeVanelle

I woke up in the morning still feeling pretty good. I didn't sleep as well as I did the other night but it was still a refreshing sleep and not the usual toss around the bed kind. These past two days had definitely been different. And I was enjoying the change. Even if I thought it would only be temporary at best.

Got up out of bed and did my usual routine. Took a shower, got dressed, had a quick bite to eat and then headed up to my room since I still had an hour till I had to be back at the venue to help with the equipment being moved. Sometimes I just LOVE these delayed concerts that don't have us springing from one place to the next.

I hoped online as quick as I could. Didn't have much time to do much but I figured I could at least check my e-mail since I hadn't done it last night. As soon as I had connected I was pleasantly surprised as an IM window popped up within a minute of me logging on.

Hey there! I was wondering if you'd ever show up!

Damn. I hadn't even got to check my mail yet. How excited I felt at the moment. Truth be told I was actually hoping to catch him on here again. Part of why I wanted to check my mail anyways.

Sorry. I checked for a minute last night to see if you were on but I doubted it and you weren't.

I didn't even get back from work till real late. It's cool. I wasn't even on-line much yesterday. Had too much to take care of. But I did get to e-mail some friends from back home.

That sounds good. That's pretty much what I have to do since I'm out here on the road so much. That could be a real pain.

It is sometimes. Oh. Hey I was wondering... Nevermind.

It's ok. You can pretty much ask me anything. I'll tell you if you go too far. You sure?

What a time for the guy to have a really good sense of respect. He was always so touching. That made me like these conversations more and more.

Of course I'm sure. Now spill it! If I told you that I couldn't stop thinking about our conversation the other day since we logged off, and I couldn't stop thinking about you, would you think I was being some kind of weirdo stalking freak? < hangs his head down in shame.

I couldn't believe that while I was reading his message that my eyes started to tear up. Here was this guy, who had no clue what I looked like and I had no clue what he looked like, spilling a very private and intimate thought to me about me! And by cyber terms we weren't even on the second date. Talk about impressive!

Please don't feel that way. Huh?

You have absolutely NO reason to hang your head in shame. So I'm not some weirdo freak?

I don't think so. The crazy stalker types wouldn't even have the courtesy to ask before they ask. Know what I mean? Yea. I think so but I don't get it I thimk my handsa re trembling alittle now I'm not typings o gooda nymore.

Jay...stop typing and just read for a moment.

You have been more honest, more up front, and more romantic to me than any guy has EVER been that I've met face to face. You intrigue me. You made me hop online at some god awful hour just to see if you were here. That impresses me. Don't feel all funny to say what you're thinking right now. It's ok.

Now I have to be honest and say that I don't know if I can be a dedicated person on-line. We just have to see where this goes. That alright by you? Of course. What? You thought I wanted to meet you and just jump in the sack? Not that I'd know what to do in the sack. Still a virgin.

I don't care. Let's just take our time. Hello? I want to get to know you better. Why do you think I was telling you that!

I'm flattered!

And I really was but I saw the time and knew I had to get going. As much as I hated to have to do it, my job was my only love right now.

Jay, sorry but I really need to go. It's alright. I understand. Work?

You guessed it. Look for me on-line ok. Will do. Prolly gonna surf some more. Talk to ya later Hal.

C-ya Jay!

User has disconnected.

Well everything at the venue went smoothly. I had everything in their cases within two hours, my best time ever. Sometimes I just amaze myself. Then the long process of loading the bus. We were headed from Houston to someplace in Arizona or New Mexico. I'm not exactly sure. Well, I wasn't exactly looking forward to the two day road trip to the next venue. When we get there it was gonna be early in the morning, unpack, set up, run soundcheck, do a run through of the set list, a quick little three hour nap time for myself, then back to the stadium to do last minute tweaking, the concert, and then repeating what I'm doing now and ANOTHER two day road trip.

The EXCITEMENT of my job is just non-stop isn't it?

Well it took forever to get the bus completely packed up. Then it was back to the hotel. I was happy for that. My last REAL shower, in a REAL bathroom, in a REAL room for at least a week until we got to San Diego. Then two days of rest and then another concert. Yay. Well it could have been worse. I could be touring with Britney.

On second thought, I don't even want to THINK about that.

The shower was a welcome alcove from the pressure I would be facing for the next two shows. Not only were they quick set ups and even quicker run0throughs, but I was still getting use to some of the equipment myself. Not a good thing when I didn't even have twenty concerts under my belt. With Sarah I always had time. She was SO much more patient than these JIVE promotional personnel. They're just all lucky I like my job. Cause if I didn't they would see the bitch in me.

I let the later run down my body. GOD this felt so relaxing. My hands wandered about my semi-small frame as I soaped up and rinsed it all down. Now I'd like to point out that I have never been ashamed of my body. I never thought I looked too great but I wasn't ashamed of it. I had a nicely toned upper build, a little scrawny but you could see definite definition in my pecs and abs. My legs, however, were a completely different story. Since I was young I ran around all the time. Then when I took Tae Kwon Do while in high school, they got even stronger. Now, with all the standing and lifting and moving, my body had FINALLY developed a nice form. Since I didn't tan well I was very white. Ok I wasn't as white as Lance but pretty damn close.

The one thing I sure as hell wasn't ashamed of was, pardon the bluntness, my dick. I just looked down and sighed. It was a good sized piece of meat I'd say. Hell, my old roommate who could hardly stand the sight of me without a shirt on, said that if it wasn't attached to my body he would SO be on his knee's worshipping it.

Then again he's so easy I don't think that's necessarily a good thing either.

It had been ages since I had sex. And since the next week was to be extremely devoid of any privacy, I decided I should just take care of my business before hitting the road. Funny thing was that I was trying to imagine what this guy 'Jay' looked like. C'mon guys. You know what I'm talking about! If you've been online you just try to imagine them, what they look like, what IT looks like. Well it didn't take long for my imagination to start conjuring images before I got excited. Damn. Five minutes. Well that didn't take very long.

I got dressed trying to look all casual and found that I wasn't too happy with my wardrobe at the moment. I seriously needed a trip to the mall. Would have to do that in San Diego. So I just threw something on and started to do my hair. Oh yeah. I have really light brown hair, pretty short except for the front which was fairly long hanging in front of my eyes a little. My eyes were almost green, kind of in-between hazel and blue. And I'm not very tall. I'm about 5'09" so each of the guys of 'N Sync basically towered over me. Like I really cared.

I had all my suitcases and my laptop packed up and ready to go. I got down to the lobby and was surprised that the bus I had been riding in was taking off at the moment I opened the elevator doors. I looked own at my watch. Damnit! I was like 5 minutes late.

See what yanking the pud can do to your time schedule.

"What the problem Jere?" Joey asked me as he rounded the corner from the front desk.

"My bus just took off." I was still fuming. Just the way to start this leg of the tour.

"Well that's fine. I'm sure the rest of the guys wouldn't mind you bunking with us till we get to the next stop."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked him. After all I really didn't know any of them still, although Joey was trying his damned best to get to know me better. He sort of motioned for me to wait and approached the other four guys who were just kind of huddled up near the front of the hotel.

He kind of talked to them for little bit. Justin made this weird ass face and I almost started busting up laughing. Chris reacted the same way. Then I noticed Lance starting to speak up to Justin and Chris. They didn't look too happy over what he said. Then they all turned to JC and he just said 'fine' or at least that's what it looked like to me.

Guess I'd gotten on the bus by a narrow 3 to 2 victory. Whoope! Whatever.

Well we started to get the luggage loaded on and Lance just started a little bit of small talk with me.

"You doing ok Jeremy?" His southern accent was pretty damn strong. I guess all those teen magazines were right.

"Yeah I'm doing fine." I responded in a kind of drawl myself. I wasn't feeling too much up to conversation but Lance did appear to stick up for me getting on the bus.

"Don't worry about Chris and Justin." He said almost like reading my mind. "They just don't like the idea of 'The Help' being on the same bus as us."

"Well all those interviews where they say that they're down to earth must be pretty far-fetched." I said coldly too him. Killed another thought of mine too. Then again Justin always did act like he was on the rag.

"Some of it's advertising. But most of it is really us." He helped me close the side compartment and then we started to get on board. I took a seat near the front as the bus started to roll on out of the hotel parking lot, trying not to intrude upon their little 'family' but there wasn't much I could do about. Conforming to the widely spread theory, Lance was a total southern gentleman. "You are not sitting up here. Come on back to our little game room." He gave me a smile and led me, by the hand no less, to the back of the bus where they all watched TV and tried to relax on these long journeys. Lance had no sooner opened the door to the small room before he heard Justin commentating.

"Is Lance trying to flirt with that guy or what?" He stopped suddenly in his sentence as all four of them looked toward us, Lance holding my hand still, and me with a very confused look on my face. Justin threw his hands up in the air, did this cute little turn and faced us before he continued.

"Great! You talk to him outside the bus for five minutes, come waltzing in here and holding hands with your new boyfriend! And to top it all off he's our technician!" My mouth dropped open as I looked over at Lance who just let his head drop to the floor.

"Um...guys." I muttered out almost inaudibly. They all looked at me. "I don't know what you guys are talking about. He just didn't want me sitting alone up front." Every single one of them, Joey included, made the face. Y'know the face of 'Oh my I did not just spill something that he's not suppose to know'. I looked over at Lance, partly cause I was shocked. Sure we all hear rumors but I was suddenly faced with the truth.

"You're gay?" I asked.

I must have had a bad tone in my voice because lance ran through to the other side of the 'Game Room' and disappeared through another door, leaving me looking like I retard with the rest of the guys.

"See what happens when you open you BIG mouth!" Joey finally spoke up to Justin.

*********************************************************************** TO BE CONTINUED???

Ok. I know this is a little shorter but I wanted to get it up before tonight cause I work for the next three nights in a row and probably won't have another chapter posted up until Tuesday. As usual please send comments me way! And thank you to all the readers who have sent me input since my little journey began. I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can I PROMISE! Anyways, till next time! Read on!

-Darren ***********************************************************************

Next: Chapter 4


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