This is a work of fiction. I am in no way implying or stating anything about the real life sexuality of the member of 'N Sync. This story involves homosexuality, and male/male romance. If you are offended by this type of material please leave now. Also if you are under the age of 18, or this type of material is illegal in your state or country, please leave too. All comments and suggestions can be sent to levanelle@yahoo.com as I love to hear EVERYTHING from my readers. Check out my SlashPage for more information about me and my stories at: http://www.angelfire.com/celeb/DLeVanelle/index.html
Also you can try and catch me online. My AIM name is DLeVanelle. I'm always up to chatting with my fans. Hope you enjoy. Later!
-Darren ***********************************************************************
EVERYTHING I SAID
- Chapter 2 - Written by Darren LeVanelle
And then he ended his connection with me. Well. Jayln was a bitch, he just couldn't help it sometimes. I was sitting there, staring at the screen and I was just getting ready to disconnect and shut down so I could get some sleep, when I suddenly got a IM from someone I hadn't talked to before. I looked at the screen and thought to myself 'Who the hell is this?'
Hey there!
I scratched my head trying to think who the hell this was. The more I thought about it, the less it made sense. I figured it was just one of my usual friends using a different name. That could be any one of several people. So I decided just to be normal.
Hi. What's up? Not much. Trying to see if there is anything out here.
Nothing very exciting as far as I know. Thanks for the info. Now I know online chatting has nothing to offer.
So how have you been. Ok I guess. Tired as hell.
I know the feeling. Well you seem awfully friendly talking to someone you don't even know... :)
This person didn't know me. I found that odd, but it was kind of refreshing at the same time. I like to talk to new people. It's easier for me to do it online than in real life. But I guess that's pretty much how it is for everyone.
Well for a moment I thought you were just one of my friends doing the 'rotate the screen name' game again, but I guess not Nope
Well I only chat to my friends on this. Why did you decided to chat with me? I liked your member profile. :) We have a lot in common.
That spiked my curiosity. If he read my member profile then this person must know that I'm gay. Curiosity still held it's sway on me so I had to beggar the question.
Really? Like what? Let me just go down the list. Music, singing, poetry, going out to concerts, just hanging out. Oh, and you don't like 'N Sync
You chatted with me cuz I don't like 'N Sync??? Yep. That and the part of your description when it said cute, young, gay, and VERY available.
Was it just me or was he hitting on me? I didn't want to try and ask that outright. That would be rude. So I kept on with the conversation.
Well that's all still true. You won't believe how many guys I've talked to who just ramble on and on about those guys. Too many gay guys have way too overactive imaginations about boy bands.
Yes they do. So I just wanted to say hi and see what you are like.
A normal 21 year old I suppose. Define normal
Ok you got me there. I just deal with what life throws my way. Not always fun, but an experience. True, true. So how are you doing today?
Tired as usual. Goes with my job. What do you do?
This is where I didn't know what to do. This guy likes me cause I don't like my employers so how do I tell him my job without causing a leak or making him stop talking.
I'm a studio Engineer. Really?
Yep Where at?
I work at several different studios across the states. I'm always changing locations. They put me where they want me. Well at least you get to travel a lot.
I wouldn't call it traveling. I'm too busy working in every city I'm in.
What about you? Tell me about 'Jay' Hee Hee. Well I'm also cute, young, gay, and VERY available. Not as young as you though And very available but I've never had a real boyfriend.
Why not?
And how old are you? I'm 23. And I've just never had the time. My family travels a lot too. We don't stay in one place too long. The price one must pay when dad has to go all over the world.
You're still with your parents? Yeah. It makes it easier with the bills and stuff. Don't really have to worry about rent or anything.
A definite bonus. Do your parents know about you? About me being gay? No. Don't have the courage to tell them. You?
Yeah. They're pretty cool about it. You must be lucky then.
I guess. Haven't had a boyfriend in over a year now. Cause of the job?
You guessed it. That sucks.
Not really. All my boyfriends turned out bad anyways. I'm just waiting for the right guy now. And what is the 'right guy'???
Jay was being very friendly and honest with me. I liked him already. I found myself laughing and giggling while chatting with him, something that I hadn't done while on personal time in awhile. I was starting to enjoy myself too much.
Someone who listens, someone who cares.
Somebody who realizes that life's too short to regret what you've done wrong. Somebody who knows what they want.
A guy who can understand my passion for music and what it means to me.
And most importantly he has to love me for who I am and not what I do. Amen. Totally agreeing with you on all of that.
Really? Yep. You sound like a passionate guy. I bet you're a romantic.
Down to the bones and teeth. Well I can tell I'm gonna like these conversations with you. You have a lot to say.
Huh? Well that is if you don't mind chatting with me every now and then. :)
That was an offer if I ever did hear one. The first time I talk to somebody other than someone I already know and we hit it off nicely. A pleasant change from the occasional 'Stats?' question and commentary of IRC. Maybe AIM isn't so evil after all.
I can't promise when but I'll keep you on my buddy list. Me too.
Schedule is pretty hectic so I won't be able to say how often we'd be chatting, but I'll try as often as I can. That works.
Well as much as I hate to say it, I really need to get going. I have to be up early tomorrow morning. It's cool. I think I'm gonna surf the web for a while and see what I've been missing. Haven't been online for about two months now. By the way, what's your name?
Sorry but I only give my real name out once I really know you. So in the meantime just call Hal. I understand. And you can call me Jay.
Well Jay. I had a nice chat with you. I'll look for you tomorrow. You too Hal. I'll try and be here!
G'night. Good Night. :) And pleasant dreams.
User has disconnected.
Well I got plenty of sleep that night which was a little unusual. Normally I toss and turn for a few hours before finally dozing off but there wasn't much trouble. I woke up refreshed, the best I'd felt in over a year. I wondered why the sudden change in my sleeping habits. Something to address another time. In the meantime I got up and showered and, seeing that I was over an hour early, went out to get some breakfast in the hotel dining area.
When I made it down there Joey was sitting at a table by himself. I knew it was him even before I saw his face thanks to the magenta streaks that stood out like a gray cloud on a sunny day. Or a straight boy in a gay bar. After I picked up something light, I wasn't much of a breakfast eater, I went over to him and wondered if I could join him.
"Mind if I sit with you Joey?"
"Hey Jeremy!" He looked a bit surprised when he saw me there so early. "Yeah sure. I'm not expecting anybody else to be up for a while. They're all prolly still sleeping right now. They'll be up in about 25 minutes and be about five minutes late to the venue. Usual thing when we do a soundcheck in the morning." His attitude came down a bit as I took a seat on the otherside of the table. "You'll get use to it."
"Remind me not to reschedule a soundcheck when you guys need a break then." I added in sarcastically.
"That was really nice what you did for us anyways. Our last tour technician was a real dick!" He said between bites of his pancakes. "None of us liked him. Probably the reason why he didn't come back for this tour."
"I wouldn't doubt it." I started to eat my light breakfast, a combination of hash browns and two scrambled eggs. I had a few strawberries too since I need my RDA of fruits. I couldn't stand vegetables and neither, it seemed could Joey.
"Good man!" He uttered gulping down the OJ. "I don't see any veggies in SIGHT! Man!" He cheered. "You know how awesome it is to have a REAL person working with us for once?"
"No I don't." A chuckle escaped my lips. "Humor me?"
"Most of the people we work with on these tours or in the studio with are just so...perfect, for a lack of a better word. They all exercise at like three in the morning, eat all healthy food, don't drink or smoke, not even occasionally, and they all seem so goody too shoes! It makes me sick." He leaned in towards me. "For once they hired a real guy."
"I'll take that as a compliment." Drinking some OJ myself, I finished up my eggs and went right to work on the strawberries.
"I hope you're cool with us all?" Joey questioned ever so softly. If my hearing wasn't so good, I doubt I would have even understood him.
"I don't have any problems with any of you guys. If I did, it would be for purely professional, business related reasons. I have no reason not to be cool with you guys. I mean, why would I?"
"Let's see." He started off while whistling down some help to bring him some more OJ. The guy refused at first until Joey presented him a 20 and then the guy quickly scurried off and had his glass refilled. "Justin can be just plain silly way too often. JC likes to be a control freak and he takes things way too seriously sometimes. Lance, well, he's fine unless he starts doing his 'thing' and trying to sing in falsetto. You should hear it sometime. He sounds like a damn chipmunk." With that I almost spewed my orange juice through my nostrils. Thank the lord I have good control of that since I was younger. "And Chris can be too loud and I can be too annoying."
"You're not annoying so far." I smiled at him in a friendly way. Not too friendly though.
"Thanks." He giggled a bit, looking so goofy. "And I'm sorry we've never talked like this before. It feels kinda weird seeing you almost every day but all we talk is business, business, business. I get tired of work sometimes!"
"With you on that!" I finished my breakfast and got up from the table. Joey was right behind me as we emptied our garbage and headed out into the lobby.
"You wanna take the limo with me over to the stadium?" He asked very sincerely.
"There's no way I would say no!" The two of us laughed. That kind of male-bonding laughter you'd expect to hear from the two leads on some television show or some over-done Broadway play, except we were really getting along good. He talked to the receptionist and a few minutes later we were on our way to the venue.
"We were fuckin' worried about you!" Justin explained as I was prepping the mixing console and getting all the out-board gear up and ready. Joey was standing next to me as I worked. He told me he had always been fascinated by the 'technical babble' of recording and mixing so since we had the extra time, and we were both bored, I decided to point out what I could to him. Since Joey was there, it was obvious they were talking to him.
"Sorry guys." Joey went back to messing with the noise-gate. "I met up with Jeremy here at breakfast and we decided to get here early and check out some of this neato quip!" The four of them glared at him, disdain etched in their collective features. "Hey I left a message at the front desk for you guys so don't be all acting pissy with me."
"Well we just didn't know what was going on." Lance said, coming from the rear of the group towards the stage.
"Ya never checked for messages this morning again, did ya?" Joey asked as he turned the knob on the multi-effects processor. He turned to me and asked, "What's the difference between a pre and post send?"
"Basically a pre happens before the faders which means it's affected by them and post is after the faders." I whispered.
"Think I got it."
"No we didn't." JC said solemnly.
"Besides you guys are 20 minutes late. That and I told the chauffer to wait for you guys in the lobby at 7:45 so it must mean you guys were just lagging." I said with that all knowing-grin I sometimes give.
"We weren't talking to you." Justin almost barked at me.
"That's nice Justin. But it doesn't matter. You guys are still late and right now I'M the boss so that means we just stay later until the soundcheck is done and done right." Justin got this pissed look on his face like he was gonna tell me off but JC intervened before he had a chance to vent.
"Jeremy's right. We are late and we do have work to do. So that means everybody on stage so we can warm up." The four of them headed towards the stage, each doing pre-vocal warm ups. "Hey Joey, that means you too."
"Already did." Damn he was like a kid in a candy store. Now he was messing with the digital delay.
"JOEY!" JC started up at him.
"Stop messing with the stuff and get up there frost boy!" I demanded.
"But you KNOW I already did my vocal exercises. Why do I have to?"
"Cause that's YOUR job." I said while pushing his away from the gear rack. "Besides you're being to inquisitive right now and I don't have time to teach a class so get going."
The soundcheck went smoothly. Not a hitch. Joey was being very polite and friendly and even offered to take me out to lunch so we could chat some more. Of course I went, cause anything to get to know them would be cool. After all, I was gonna spend the next eight months with them so I figured this was the best thing to do. Make friends.
Justin was being a little bitch all morning! He was whining about every little thing. Just as I was about to tear him a new asshole JC would get on his case and that would be that. Joey was right, JC was the controlling one. But he was saving me from added stress so I didn't mind it.
After lunch the guys did a 'Meet & Greet' session with some of their fans and I finally had the time to make some last minute adjustments to the equipment. Two hours later it was showtime.
The curtain went up and the boys were on stage. Ok. Ok. The GUYS were on stage. Shame on me. They hit their opening poses and went through the first song, 'Bye, bye, bye' and it went great. The break must have done them some good cause they weren't struggling this time. Next they performed 'I Want You Back' which was probably the best they'd done it since I started this shindig. They were truly, pardon my silly pun, in sync tonight. When they sounded this good it was truly a fitting name for them. After that they slowed down, doing 'Sailing' and then 'God must have spent...' which was always a song I liked to hear. Then, true to form, they did a quick costume change and lit it up again. Justin headed to the front of the stage.
"How are we doing Houston?" The crowd of teenage girls, although I did see some mothers from my seat in the technician booth, and a fag here and there, went wild as Justin worked the crowd. "Our sophomore album is doing great thanks to fans like you!" Again they went wild. "So we're gonna do the second #1 single from 'No Strings Attached' and ladies..." he gave a dramatic paused that only incited the girls to go crazy and get, believe it or not, louder. "It's gonna be me!" he shouted a final time as the band started up the music.
OK. They could dance just fine. And yes, sometimes I guess they excited me with all that pelvic-thrusting. I hadn't had any of that in a while so yes my imagination went into overdrive. But I'd be damned if I ever had to resort to bumping with nothing but air.
Justin dropped back to the rest of the guys and then pounced back to the front of the stage as the first verse started.
'You might've been hurt babe'
'That ain't no lie'
'You've seen them all come and go'
'I remember you told me'
'That it made you believe in no man, no cry'
'Maybe that's why'
At this point the rest of the guys came into the chorus and harmonized. It was a great sound, picture perfect on the soundboard and mixing console. Not to mention it just sounded great.
'Every little thing I do'
'Never seems enough for you'
'And you don't want lose it again'
'But I'm not like them'
'Baby when you finally'
'Get to love somebody'
'Guess what?'
'It's gonna be me'
They went through the rest of the songs with great ease. Everything went perfect. They had just finished up 'That's When I'll Stop Loving You', one of the only songs I actually liked of there's since it was written by Diane Warren, when they exited the stage and the crowd still stood there, cheering for them to do an encore. About five minutes passed and I wondered if the show was really over this time. They hadn't done may encores since I started but you never know. Just as I was about to power down the board, one of the stage workers told me to turn the mics back up un five seconds. Encore it is.
I saw movement on stage and I heard the familiar sound of a song come over the monitors and then the lights shined down on the five of them. They looked totally decked out, wearing matching white suits with white ties and, yep, white undershirts. Justin picked up his microphone and started to talk into it as the intro music started up.
"My tech told me I was too breathy yesterday, and I'm prolly to breathy today too. I'm just hiding it." The crowd laughed a little at that. "I just wanted him to know I'm sorry for being a jerk earlier and that I'm gonna use my breathiness where it counts." Just then I noticed the music. No he didn't. Yes he did and went right into the song.
'When the visions around you'
'Bring tears to your eyes'
'And all that surrounds you'
'Are secrets and lies'
'I'll be your strength'
'I'll give you hope'
'Keeping your faith when it's gone'
'The one you should call'
'Was standing here all'
'Along'
The breathiness was apparent all right, but it fit the mood he was trying to create with the song.
'And I will take you in my arms'
'And hold you right where you belong'
'Till the day my life is through'
'This I promise you'
'This I promise you'
We were out of there about an hour later. Joey insisted I ride with them. Of course I didn't refuse. Hello? Limo versus cab. You pick. Their fans are just too wild. If I were them, and thank the lord I'm not, I'd just hop over all the four-foot girls to get to the limo. But I guess they were trying to be nice.
When we finally got back to the hotel I was completely exhausted. So were the guys. I said goodnight to each one of them as we headed into our rooms. Justin was the last to go inside. So just before he left my presence I caught his attention.
"Hey Justin!" I called out while he unlocked his door.
"Yeah?" he asked quietly.
"Thanks." I said. He smiled then nodded and disappeared behind the door.
I booted up the computer quickly and signed on AIM, just to check if Jay was there. Nope. Not on-line. O'well. I figured he wouldn't be up at this un-godly hour. So I turned the computer back off and headed to bed, hoping I'd be able to sleep as well tonight as I did earlier.
*********************************************************************** TO BE CONTINUED???
Thoughts? Anyone? Really I haven't received a single response yet. Then again it is the middle of the week. O'well. I'll just keep going and see if anyone likes what I'm doing here. Anyways, till next time!
-Darren ***********************************************************************