Hey everybody! We are back and rolling. I double did these small little chapters for today and the next one will be up tomorrow. So I hope you're enjoying it...finally!!! As usual, send your biased input to levanelle@yahoo.com and tell me whatever you like.
-Darren ***********************************************************************
EVERYTHING I SAID
- Chapter 16 -- Written by Darren LeVanelle
LAST CHAPTER ********************
His response to that was a slow move across the floor, taking his time and judging my response. He was acting so much like the perfect gentleman. He let his hand drift through the air and brushed his fingers slowly down my cheek. He smiled and I returned the gesture. Then he leaned in and our lips met in a sweet, passionate embrace.
I couldn't fully comprehend it. Here I was kissing...
JC.
CHAPTER 16 **********************
As he pulled away from me I was somewhat terrified. I mean, this was HIM??? Oh I never would have guessed it. In a way I was relieved. Then again, I think anybody would have been after seeing Justin open the door and almost shitting your pants.
"JC." I mumbled out. Damn. That kiss was something else.
"Please..." he said while grabbing a hold of my now trembling hands, "Call me Josh." My face must have lit up like a Christmas tree right then. But there were still so many questions.
"Josh I...um, I dunno...this is kinda hard to ask but..." As I was stumbling over my words like some dyslexic in rehab, JC was leading me over to sit with him on the bed. He sat a comfortable distance away, giving me time to adjust to the events that were unfolding just a little too quickly for my taste.
"Just take you time Jeremy." JC flashed me that smile, the one I'd seen countless times before, but this time it was different. The caring was still there just stronger and I wondered how long could this possibly last. "We do have some time." I must not have been paying attention cause his last comment completely slipped past me.
"I'm sorry about not being completely honest with you..."
"Hold on a sec." He reached out and grabbed a hold of my hands. "You don't have to say you're sorry. I don't need an apology." Why did he have to keep looking at me so sincerely and sure? Was there something there, between us, even before we realized we were already talking to each other? "I lied. You lied. It's what we had to do to get to know the real person and not the image we already had. If we hadn't talked online I doubt I would have thought that you liked me for who I am instead of being a member of 'N Sync. If we met in person first I don't think we would have ever really talked about it. I'm really happy it turned out this way."
"But we almost kissed the other day." I said, full of worry and concern.
"At least we know there's chemistry here." He smiled again and rubbed my hand in his.
"So what was Justin doing in here?" JC let out a sigh as he started to explain everything to me.
"The night we almost...y'know. Well I went to talk to him about it so I could settle it. I had to clear my head before meeting you. Well Justin and I have always talked about everything so I told him all about us. Chatting online, the constant e-mails back and forth and how nervous I was to meet you. We were still yapping away in here and I guess I lost track of the time. We both did. He's been very cool about it all. Not the bitch I'm sure you know and despise."
"I don't despise him. He get's on my nerves a lot but that's par for the course."
We sat there in silence for a few minutes. My eyes wandered over to him, looking unsure as to how to pass the time. He was so cute, so adorable, and reaffirming my physical attraction towards him with the knowledge that we had far more in common than I realized earlier made me feel a whole lot better about myself. I was gonna act on my own for once.
The look on his face as I kissed him for the first time is something I will always remember. He flashed his eyes open and then settled into a more comfortable state as the kiss progressed. Damn. This felt so right. HE felt so right. I let my arms raise around the back of his neck and pulled myself in and JC was enjoying the moment as much as I was. After we broke apart, from what seemed like minutes, he took a hold of my hand.
"You ready to go out to dinner?" And another smile. But this was the real JC. Not the boy-band guy. Just Joshua Scott Chasez.
Damn. I even knew his real full name. Now THAT was scary!
"How many surprises do you have planned for this date?"
"You'll see." We got up and walked to the door. True to his nature he opened it for me. We drifted down the hallway to the elevator and made our way downstairs. Then he took me to the limo and soon we were on our way. Our FIRST date.
Don't I sound excited???
LOOKING THROUGH JUSTIN'S EYES
So this wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. First I find out that JC has been having an online romance with someone called 'Hal' and then I find out that 'Hal' is Jeremy. Not exactly my kind of day.
I got on the elevator and headed up to our floor. I was walking down to the room JC and I share and decided, hey, what the hell? I might as well try and have some fun tonight since I was already in a pretty fucked up mood. I got to Lance's door and gave it a knock. I heard a little shuffling and a few moments later he opened it up.
"Hey Justin. What's up?" He asked. Not that I paid much attention to guys but, even in his own little way, Lance sure was cute when he was just in his boxers. He didn't have the nicest body but it was still...ahem, cute.
"Not much bro. Can I come in?"
"Well I was gonna get to bed soon. You wanna come back tomorrow maybe if you want to hang out?"
"We have PRACTICE tomorrow."
"Oh yeah." He looked in the room and then back at me. "Sure. I guess. Just don't keep me up for too long." He stepped aside and let me enter his room. Since there was only us five, and JC and I and Joey and Chris usually shared a room, Lance usually had the privilege of having one of his own whenever we had hotels. And that was kind of the type of privacy I was looking for at the moment. Of course I didn't want to make Lance turn even whiter so I thought that maybe I should just sort of weasel myself into the situation.
I walked on in and plopped down on his bed. Lance gave me this puzzled look and then laid down beside me. I scooted a little bit towards him. That must have been a shock reaction cause when my hand brushed up against his leg he jumped a little bit.
"You wanna watch a movie?" Lance wasn't even looking at me as he asked the question. I found that a little...odd.
"Sure. Why not?" I actually wasn't paying attention to the TV. I saw Lance get up and put some tape in the VCR. But I was paying attention to his cute little ass as he bent over. So maybe I wasn't gay but I sure was horny. I averted my eyes quickly as he turned back around and landed on the mattress beside me. He hit play on the remote, flashed me a small little smile, and the movie started.
I was looking blankly at the TV the entire time, not really paying attention to it. Every now and then I would turn to look over at him. Lance must have been really into the movie cause for the most part he didn't even notice me. But I did see him look over at me a few times himself. The movie progressed and I still found myself with carnal thoughts running around in my head.
'He's your friend Justin.' My voice inside was telling me. 'You're just gonna use him like that?' I heard it all right but I was thinking of other things at the moment. I looked over at the clock and noticed it was around 9:30 or so and I even felt a little sleepy. I got up and kicked my shoes off to the floor then pulled my pants off.
"What are you doing?" Lance asked looking all too bewildered at my actions. Ok. I wasn't trying to be a slut or anything and just get him into bed. I WAS tired so what I said was truthful.
"I'm feeling a little tired so I thought I'd get comfy. Is that ok?"
"Sure." He turned back to face the television, looking a little flustered in the face. "I guess." I continued to watch haphazardly at the screen when the drowsiness took hold and I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. I laid my head down while looking off to the side, taking note of Lance looking over at me before I lost consciousness.
MEANWHILE, ON THEIR DATE
"Wow!" I exclaimed as the limousine pulled up next to the entrance of a restaurant called 'De Coupe La Vie'. I guessed that JC was trying to impress me here or something along those lines. His last name may have implied a French ancestry but I had no clue he spoke it or at it. "This looks like a nice place."
"I found out about it online while looking up some restaurants. It means," he went on to explain the name, "The cup of life. I thought it was cute." I was half expecting his trademark grin to change a little bit since we discovered each other but it didn't. That made me happy cause, in a way, this was the same old JC. But that also made me think in another way too. Was he actually trying to flirt with me the entire time and I just didn't notice it?
"Just like the guy who picked it?" I admit it. I had to have my normal moments also.
"And just like the guy who responded." We got out and made our way inside. The table was in a perfect location. Secluded from the majority of others eyes, nestled away in a corner of the establishment near the sole fireplace that was burning brightly. We took are seats, looked over the menus quickly and then placed our orders. I wasn't sure what to get so I just asked JC to order for me and to make sure it wasn't seafood. I HATE seafood.
"Y'know you can call me Josh." He said to me, after asking him to place my order also.
"But I know you as JC. It's kind of stuck in my head."
"You call Lance James."
"True enough." I had to give him credit on that one. "Ok Josh. If that's what you want I'll be happy to oblige." That brought the smile back to his face. His dark blue eyes sparkled with firelight as he continued to look at me. Still taking in my features? "What are you looking at?"
"You." The waiter brought two glasses of Cabaret Sauvignon to the table and a half-full bottle too. Oh my! 1972. That must not have been cheap. I took a small sip of the wine and gave him my response.
"Do you mean that or are you trying to flatter me?"
"Both." His eyes never moved from me.
"So...how are you taking all of this so far?"
"When I heard your voice while you were battling it out with Justin I was ecstatic...and relieved at the same time." That got the conversation going real quick.
"What do ya mean by that?" Curiosity peaked and running.
"Well I was ecstatic cause I already knew you. It wasn't so much a stranger I was meeting there. It was a guy I already knew somewhat and trusted. A lot of the little stuff would have been talked about to the extreme and we bypassed all of that. That and I already thought you were pretty damn cute since I first saw you." So what was I suppose to say to all that?
"And as for being relieved?" He had me interested at this point.
"Because I was starting to get a crush on you." It was then that he finally turned away from me. The things that you never know and eventually find out can answer a lot in a relatively short period of time. Everything was making sense now. "I think of myself as a faithful man and I hated knowing that I was in love with someone already but I was having feelings for somebody else." His eyes danced around the room a bit eventually looking down at lap before coming back to mine. "It was good to know that they were about the same person."
"So you weren't being totally honest with me when we were in the studio on the bus I take it."
"I was to a certain extent. Until recently Justin was the only guy I ever had a thing for. But I never had a thing for a girl either. I started to, well...notice guys a lot more recently. That's why I started to get on-line. Just to get to know myself really." He took a sip from the glass. "What about you? Were you truthful to me?"
"Yeah. Since that day I've never looked at guys the same way. I knew for a long time that I was different. I just don't think I wanted to admit it to myself. I liked having something normal about me. I was always so different than everyone I knew. Music always moved me; I wasn't much for being popular or being academic. I just did my own thing, had my friends and had my schoolwork and had my life. When it finally happened it kind of drove me crazy. I didn't know who I was anymore."
"What do you mean by that? I kind of understand but..."
"It's ok Josh. Most people don't. I always found guys... attractive. I would look at some of the guys in school and go 'I wish I had a body like that' or 'I wish I looked like him'. I always passed it off as idle curiosity or envy. When I finally caught myself thinking that a guy was cute it kinda drove me over the edge."
"And that guy you thought was cute was..."
"Scott." I said finishing his sentence. "That was all true Josh. It happened when I was a junior in high school. After everything was over and he didn't want to be my friend anymore I lost it. I couldn't take that final rejection from him. I never had many friends other than him. He had been my friend for almost four years and then suddenly I didn't have him anymore. That was my last sense of security in the world. I became reclusive for the rest of the year, started writing a lot of lyrics and music and just devoted myself to my craft. Over the summer I met Ryan. He was my first boyfriend."
"You were mumbling his name while you were in your..."
"I was?" It took me a little bit to piece things together. I remember that I told James about everything...but how did JC know about that?
"So are you ever gonna tell me what that was all about?"
"Not now." I said, getting a little visibly shaken at the reminder of my lapse. There was no need to fully explain that at the moment. Just then the appetizers arrived and I was thankful for the interruption. I didn't need to be having this conversation yet.
We didn't talk all that much for about ten more minutes. I figured I scared him off for a bit. But about two minutes into dinner I realized I was wrong. He kept flashing me these little smiles while taking bites of his food. It was cute, and so was he. Then he eventually broke the ensuing silence.
"So you don't like us then huh?"
"What?" Where did that come from?
"You said you didn't like 'N Sync." He gave me that same little grin. "Was that another curveball about yourself?"
"Not at all." I explained as thoroughly as I could. "I didn't take this job cause I was an infatuated gay boy with an excessive crush on you guys. I took it for the opportunity, the money, the experience. I've heard plenty of your guy's stuff. I was just never a huge fan or anything." JC just nodded while I went on. "Although my roommate Jayln almost gave me an overkill. He listens to you guys night and day!"
"I take it he's the obsessive type?"
"That's putting it mildly." I let my mind wander to the days when Jayln would sit with me next to the computer in our apartment. He would listen to my music and make fun of some of the stuff I would write. Still, even though he got on my nerves on an almost daily basis, I enjoyed the little moments more than I ever let him know. "He'll be jealous as hell if I ever told him that I went on a date with you."
"If you trust him go ahead. Causing a little mischief is always fun every now and then." His smile. Oh that smile. It kept chipping away at that little wall I had built around my heart. But JC, Josh, was having no problem finding a way through it. That scared me a little but it made me feel so good.
We chit chatted about nothing in particular for a while and then the food arrived. It was, well, I don't know exactly what the dish was but it tasted great. I always had a soft spot for French cuisine, even if I couldn't pronounce most of the stuff. After we ate we got back to the limo and headed back to the hotel. Josh said he didn't have too much planned considering he didn't know exactly how far the date would go.
On the way back to the hotel he asked the driver to stop. He quickly stated that he would be right back and then rushed out the door. A few moments later the door swung back open and he stood there outside the vehicle, a hand behind his back and that silly little grin plastered on his face. No. He was NOT doing this.
"I have something for you." He pulled from behind his back a single blue rose and presented it to me lovingly. "A gesture of sorts. One rose for one date."
"So what happens when we get to number six then? A half-dozen?"
"Maybe. I think the next date alone would be worth two."
"Two roses?"
"Two DOZEN roses." My heart skipped a beat.
The rest of the trip in the limousine was normal. He sat across the way from me, still acting like a gentleman. We pulled up to the hotel and made our way upstairs. When we got to the third floor and arrived at 'the room' I was still left in wonder of what was going to happen next. He opened the door and invited me in. I flopped down on the bed and he took a seat beside me. After I lay there for a while I turned over to look at him. He was propped up on one arm, his gaze focused intently upon me, those eyes unwavering. I wonder why he's acting like this.
Before I could say any smart-ass comment he leaned in to me and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. Josh pulled slowly away, studies my reaction and then went in for another sweet kiss. And then another. And another.
"Stay here with me tonight." He exclaimed calmly.
"Sorry Mr. Chasez. I don't have sex with guys on the first date." His face grimaced from my comment. "Or the second or third for that matter."
"I'm not asking for you to have sex with me. I just want to sleep next to you."
"Ok." Like I had any reason to say no to that!
"And if you call me Mr. Chasez one more time..."
"What?" I asked in that sarcastic little tone that I claim as my own.
"Nothing." He pulled his shirt off and...hello! I mean, I've seen his nicely toned body on more than one occasion but never this up close and personal before. "You might enjoy it too much."
"I'm enjoying it right now as it is!" I took my shirt off as Josh shucked his pants to the floor revealing his Tommy Hilfiger boxers. Damn he looked so...edible right then. But that would be so inappropriate. This was after all the first date.
"I bet you are." I shucked my pants to the hotel floor too as we climbed into the bed together. He turned the light off and nestled in closely to me. I felt his soft lips on mine and I was in heaven. I laid my head on his chest while his arms wrapped around my body. I felt his lips brush against mine again and the last thing I remembered was his gentle and loving voice.
"I love you...Jeremy."
BACK IN LANCE'S ROOM
I woke up and didn't know where I was. It was dark, real dark. I lifted up from where I was, wherever that was anyway, and found I was slightly pinned down. I leaned over to where the weight was coming from and came face to face with a sleeping Lance.
'Duh.' I thought to myself. 'You must have fallen asleep while watching the movie and trying to get a blowjob out of him.' I reprimanded myself for even thinking of doing that to him. He comes out to us, then has a crush on Jeremy. The last thing I should even be thinking about is trying to get head from him. He may be gay, true! But I never heard him say he was easy.
I was debating whether or not I should pull myself out of his bed and get to my own room. I felt, well. I don't know exactly what I was feeling but Lance must have been having some dream because he was hard as a rock and pressing into my thigh. Ok. I understood what my body was thinking cause I had a boner right then when I realized he had a woody. I decided to play it safe and remove myself from what could be a very bad situation. As soon as I had one leg off the bed I felt an arm wrap around me.
The next thing I felt was a pair of lips working there way down my neck. Oh shit! Lance was necking me!!!
And DAMN he was good.
I let a soft moan escape from my lips, all the while fighting my horniness away. I couldn't do this. He was asleep after all. But his lips made their way from my neck to my chest as he kissed me slowly, taking his time to suckle at my nipples. Ok. I had to wake him up now. "Lance. Wake up." I said in a pretty low voice. Loud enough so that he could hear me, but not loud enough to alert the neighbors. But he still was going at it. "Lance, stop it. Do you know what you're doing?" His tongue was now licking down towards my belly button. That was enough. I grabbed a hold of his head and yanked his face towards mine. "LANCE WAKE UP AND STOP IT!" His eyes fluttered open and looked intently at me. A sly smile crossed his lips.
"I am awake Justin." I suddenly got butterflies in my stomach. "But do I have to stop?"
*********************************************************************** TO BE CONTINUED??? ***********************************************************************