Everything I Said

By Darren LeVanelle

Published on Aug 5, 2000

Gay

Welcome to Chapter 11 of the series 'Everything I Said', a continuation into the mind of a sick and twisted, yet romantic, writer of Nifty Archive fame. Well. Maybe not fame yet, but hopefully someday. Hopefully soon. Anyways, here is my legal crap.

This is a work of fiction. I am in no way implying or stating anything about the real life sexuality of the member of 'N Sync. This story involves homosexuality, and male/male romance. If this type of material offends you please leave now. Also if you are under the age of 18, or this type of material is illegal in your state or country, please leave too. You can check out my SlashPage at: http://www.angelfire.com/celeb/DLeVanelle/index.html

Or e-mail me with your thoughts and opinions at: levanelle@yahoo.com

Or you can try and catch me online through AIM. My name is DLeVanelle. I'm always up to chatting with my fans. Hope you enjoy the rest of the series as it continues to develop. Later! And Godspeed.

-Darren

P.S. Note to all of those fans out there. The name of the song used in the previous chapter is 'I Love You, Goodbye' as performed by Celine Dion on the album 'Celine Dion'. It was written by Diane Warren, famed writer of a slew of #1 hits, and is copyrighted 1992 by REALSONGS.

P.S.S. I'm starting a little contest. From now till August 8th I will be accepting guesses to the identity of 'Jay' at the following e-mail address. Please do not send in more than one guess. The people who guess correctly will have their names included in the Chapter that reveals 'Jay's identity. Furthermore there will be a special mention of the person who has the closest reasoning for why they guessed a particular member of 'N Sync as 'Jay'. Send your guess to: jaybjay@hotmail.com And good luck to all of you out there. I just wanted to have a little fun with this. ***********************************************************************

EVERYTHING I SAID

  • Chapter 11 - Written by Darren LeVanelle

Vacation because of a mild mental break down is not the best thing in the world. However having three fully paid sick days in a row is totally cool! But, as cool as that may be, the boredom got to me quickly as the hours went by. Sitting in the bunk all day was not fun.

I had Lance bring a long crossed-t wire to my bunk and my laptop. If I was gonna be here all day while they went out and played at the concert I was gonna do good with my time. Checked my e-mail, you know the usual thing, and found my darling Jay sending me another letter, this time from a different address.

From: jaybjay@hotmail.com Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 07:59:50 MDT Subject: [No Subject] To: jhollis78@yahoo.com

Hey there guy!

Yes. The e-mail address is different now. I was having too many problems with Yahoo! so I decided to get a different account. So PLEASE don't send me e-mail there anymore ok? Anyways I have a lot to do today. I'm really looking forward to chatting with you tomorrow. It feels like we haven't 'talked' in weeks when it's only been a couple of days. Anyways I hope work isn't too bad for you today. I know I'm gonna hate it. My dad is coming down on me hard lately, saying that I need to do a perfect job in order to keep the family business going strong. Like I really want to do that. So. Wait. I'm blabbering again aren't I? I need to stop that.

So, in closing, missing you more than I probably should cause we're pretty much strangers but I feel so connected to you. Is that so wrong?

Much love, Jay

Well what can I say about that? He was still sweeping me away. I couldn't help but think about Lance and his crush on me. I'm still wondering if that's who I heard in the bathroom last night. I guess I'll never know. It could be Joey. After all we know his secret now. I happily replied a short little letter just to make his day seem better.

From: jhollis78@yahoo.com Date: Sat, 120 May 2000 12:14:59 MDT Subject: Re: Your subject-less e-mail. How RUDE! To: jaybjay@hotmail.com

Dear Jay,

I am SO looking forward to our little 'date' on the Internet. There are quite a few things we need to talk about. See you then.

Hal

It was brief and to the point. Why waste words now? We were gonna be chatting up a storm all tomorrow. And I didn't want to overbear him with the news of my mental episode and all the crazy shit going on around here. It was too much for me so why did I want to share in the insanity? I didn't. So I took a brief nap.

I awoke a few hours later to the sound of the guys stampeding onto the bus. A pack of elephants now perhaps? Well, Lance stopped by to check on me and see how things were going. He was awfully quiet. I hope he wasn't feeling strange because of him telling me during my little episode that he loved me. If he was, I was going to beat the crap out of him! Wait. He might like that. Eww. Why did I just have to say that???

To my utter astonishment Justin came by on his way back from the bathroom and gave me a hug. Thought it was strange but I wasn't complaining getting to nestle next to his slightly sweaty body after some hard work during rehearsals. And I wasn't wearing a shirt, and neither was he. He took it off as soon as they got on the bus and I must say that he has quite the nice body. Hairless, smooth and very well defined. His pants were hanging a little low off his waist and I could see a little happy-trail making it's way from his navel down beneath the elastic waistband of his Tommy Hilfiger boxers. Or were they briefs? Would love to find out but, I don't do bitches. Ok. I do in my dreams sometimes but that's only the hormones talking.

Then JC swung by my bunk. Now that was amazing in my eyes. The conversation was pretty strange too.

"Just thought I'd tell you that you are the BEST tech guy we've ever had on any of our tours. I'm gonna put in a recommendation that you stay with us for the entire tour." Why did he suddenly have an about face with me?

"Thanks JC. I think."

"You think? C'mon. You're a great sound engineer. In fact, I think we might want you to record some of our stuff when we get ready to do another album. That is unless you get signed before that." He sort of giggled and then smiled. "I'll see you later. Me and Lance are going to be taking you and your stuff over to the other bus after the show." He turned away from me and headed out.

I forgot that I was gonna be switching busses after this show. Well, it would just give me better privacy chatting with my on-line man.

The concert went well; at least that's what the guys told me. Joey said it would have went better if I was manning the board but there wasn't much I could do about it. About 30 minutes after they got back Lance and JC showed up. Lance had me by the shoulders and was helping me walk over to the other bus. I was still drained physically from my entire ordeal. JC was the luggage dude and got my laptop and bags out from the compartments and into the storage area of the other vehicle. He went back to grab my other things, my carry on pack and a small suitcase, while Lance helped me into my new room. Yes. I had a secluded room on the other bus. It was usually used by the Chief Executive on the tour but since I was ill and recovering he graciously offered the room for me till I was feeling better. I even had an internet connection to the wireless network in there. Sweet! No interruptions tomorrow. Lance tucked me into bed, since I was going to need plenty of sleep. He kissed me lightly on the forehead, he must love doing that, right before he left.

'I'll see you in Tucson handsome. And please get some rest." And then he headed out the door. A few minutes later JC came in with my carry-on bag and the suitcase.

"Where do you want these?" Damn. Why did he still have to look so darn cute?

"Just set them down. I'll get to them later." Then the unthinkable happened. It's not like I bring a lot of conspicuous stuff with me but you never know when one might get lucky. My carry on pack slipped out of his hands and kinda opened up, throwing several very personal belongings onto the floor in plain sight of JC. I blushed in embarrassment as he took notice of the several condoms I had packed away...as well as a little bottle of lube. Wet Platinum, my lube of choice.

Hey. I can advertise for free can't I?

He picked them up off the floor and put them neatly back into my sack without saying a word. What the hell was up with that? I had to speak up about it. He was just about to leave as I did.

"No witty comments about my traveling items?" So I had to be a bitch. It went with my life easily.

"No. I'd hope you wouldn't either if our situations were reversed." He gave me another smile, this one a lot different than the others. Usually he had that silly, mischievous grin on his face, a little humorous in it's tone. This one was much more serious, much more...sincere. Then he left and I settled down to go to sleep.

Hola!

Damn he was a punctual one. I have never met someone, online or in person, that was so courteous towards me. You're getting more brownie points in a week then most guys get in months. So you got to stop it Jay. I can't take this anymore.

Speaking Spanish now I see. Grin Well I don't really speak Spanish. Silly. :P~

If I were you I wouldn't keep that filthy thing in my mouth either. giggle Are you, by any chance, referring to my tongue?

Yes. Bitch!

Danke. Oh. Now you're on a German thing.

I try to know my languages. Well then, take this! Je t'aime.

Please don't say that. I know you don't mean it. How do you know? I could really mean it.

Well do you? Oui. Je t'aime Hal. Voullez vous couche evac moi c'est swoir?

Not that damn line again. But would you? (Innocent Grin)

I hardly know you. And we haven't even met. Well that can change soon hopefully.

What are you talking about? My dad's making a business trip to San Diego soon and he wants to bring me along. We'll be there on Thursday and I was wondering if you might be able to catch a plain out here.

I don't know. I might be able to. Not sure if you can get time off work.

I guess I could. You sound kind of hesitant. Don't you want to meet in person and see if there's anything here?

It's not that. I just don't know if I could take it. Take what?

Well what would happen if we meet and we aren't even attracted to each other physically?

What if we're nothing like what the other person thought we were?

Disappointment happens all the time and I don't want to go in with these unrealistic expectations on my mind and walk away from it all feeling like shit. That won't happen.

And why's that Einstein. Because I love you.

No. You think you love me. That's what I said before. But now I know it's true. I love you.

We haven't even met yet!!! Is THAT so important? Can't I just love you for what you've done to me this past week? Aren't I entitled to find love in my own way. You have all the personality qualities that I look for in someone. And no matter what you look like I wouldn't stop loving you. I love you for you, not for your looks. That's the beauty of this online stuff. I know who by what you are, and not just another pretty face. I see too many of those. A pretty face doesn't capture me.

Well what does?

Capture you that is. You.

Do you actually mean all of that?

Or are you just trying to convince me to meet you. Trying to convince you to meet me...

I thought so! And I mean it. Everything I said I meant.

Yeah.

Sure.

I have to tell you something though.

It's pretty important. Especially since we will be meeting and all. Shoot. Oh. So you're gonna come out to San Diego on Thursday.

I'm sure I can arrange it.

Seriously though, I did something that might change your mind about it. Doubt it.

This is pretty serious. Try me.

I'll cut straight to the point.

I kissed a co-worker yesterday. YOU WHAT?!?

*********************************************************************** TO BE CONTINUED???

Ok. This wasn't as short as some of my other stuff but still pretty simple. The next chapter will be too cause I get off work at 4 am, won't get home till 5 am and I have to be at work that same day/night at 3 pm so I'm just gonna wing it as best I can. Thanks to everybody for sending me e-mail, with the constant guesses of Jay's identity and blaming me for their lack of sanity. Seriously guys (And gals. I don't know if I have any female readers. Please let me know.) I appreciate all the support you've given me. Well. Until next time!

-Darren ***********************************************************************

Next: Chapter 12


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