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After I had calmed down and we broke our embrace, I told Carter that I had missed him and apologized again. He said he missed me too and that both of us made mistakes. I hadn't lost my best friend after all, I was so happy!
Since it'd be a little while until I got out of the hospital, my father's boss agreed to let him work out of the Houston office until I was ready to go home. That meant I would be able to see him more. I wanted a hug from my father and he didn't disappoint me. When I looked in his face, I asked him where Jamie was? Jamie is my 9 year old brother. Before he could answer me, there was a knock on the door. It was John and he had Jamie with him.
Jamie ran passed everyone and over to my bed. He had a big grin on his face and I couldn't help but have one too. My father explained to me that during the divorce our mother gave up her rights to us because her new man wasn't interested in being a dad and that he didn't want to bring Jamie to the hospital until they knew if I was going to live or die. I was about to start crying again, when I felt Jamie's little arms wrap around my neck. His love was pure and non judging. "I love you Kevin and I missed you." he said to me in his cute little boy voice. "I've missed you too little man," I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. Jamie's eyes started to tear up also. With his voice cracking he asked, "Did I do something wrong?" "No, Jamie, you didn't, I've just missed you so much."
I decided there was entirely enough crying, so I started to tickle Jamie. His laughter was infectious. Soon all of us were laughing. I looked over at John with a frown on my face. He walked over to me and squeezed my shoulder. Leaning in he said, "I'm sorry for how I've acted Kevin, I've been a real ass." "John said a naughty word", Jamie chimed in. The three of us laughed. "So, you don't hate me anymore?" I had tears again. Damnit, I thought, I needed to stop crying. "I never hated you Kevin, I just didn't know how to deal with it and I let others influence my actions. I won't ever do that again."
About 4:30 Edwin appeared again with a wheelchair and said it was time for rehab. Jamie wanted to come too, but I told him I wouldn't be gone long. He frowned, but I just ruffled his hair with my hand and he smiled. Edwin and I entered the elevator, as the doors closed he put his arms around my upper chest and held me. I tilted my head up and he leaned down and kissed me. We got to the sixth floor a little faster than I would've liked, because I wanted to kiss Edwin a while longer. Dr. Yarlow commented on how much better I was performing today. I knew it was because of Edwin, John, Jamie and Carter. They were my motivation to get better and come home.
At 5:30 I left rehab and headed back to my room. When we got there, Shawn and Gus from the basketball team were in the room with my dad, Jamie and John. I couldn't even say anything as I looked at them. They looked my way and smiled. "Hey dude," they said getting up and coming over to me. My father suggested that him, John and Jamie give us a little time to catch up. Edwin had to complete his rounds, so they all exited the room.
There was an awkward silent for a moment until Gus spoke. "You've scared the hell out of the whole team and the teachers." "I'm sorry guys, I just didn't know how to handle this and the only thing I could think to do was run away." "We wish you hadn't Kevin and come talked to us." I was confused, "why?" I asked. "Duh," they both said throwing their arms around each other. "Wait...what? You two?" "Yep," they said turning to each other and kissing. A shocked and confused look came over me. "Does anyone know?" "A few people, our parents, coach and now you."
There was a knock at the door, it was Jamie. He was wanting to know if he could come back in. I couldn't resist, plus it'd been more than a year and a half since I saw him last. "Come here, you." I said with my arms outstretched. He ran into them and he threw his little arms around my waist, burying his face in my stomach. It hurt a little still, but I didn't want to let on. "Kevin, do you like boys?" I was floored by his question, but Jamie always was so inquisitive. "What would make you ask that?" "I've heard some boys talk when dad and I went to John's basketball games, I heard your name mentioned and the word fag was used." What's a fag, Kevin?
Just then, John and my dad walked in. My dad asked, rather abruptly, "Jamie, where did you hear such a word?" "I heard some boys at John's basketball game talking about Kevin and that word was used." "What does it mean?"
I knew we couldn't avoid this forever, he was going to have to know sooner or later. I was hoping for the latter. Jamie looked between me and our father. Worry could be visibly seen on all our faces. I hesitated for a second and then said, "that is a bad word and I don't want you to use it, ok buddy?" "Ok, but what does it mean?" I could see that he wasn't going to let this go. "It's a bad word used to describe gay people." He looked at me confused, but then remembered the question he asked before. It was all on me, no one else could help me. "Jamie, to answer your question, yes I like boys." His response was unexpected. "Cool." He said leaning in and hugging me again. "You know what that means, right?" "Duh, it means you like boys." "And you're ok with it?" "Why wouldn't I be, you're my brother and I love you." I could hardly believe the acceptance and love he had for me, it came so easy to him. I wondered why it took John so long to get here.
Edwin knocked on the door and entered. All eyes went to him. "Is everything ok in here?" He turned looking at me. "Yea, I um just told Jamie that I was gay." He came over to stand beside me. Gripping my shoulder he asked, "Are you ok?" "Yea, he took it better than I expected." "You're my brother and I love you." he reiterated. Looking up at me, I ran my fingers through his hair. "I love you too squirt."
Edwin asked Jamie if he was hungry. "Jamie is always hungry," I retorted. Edwin asked Jamie to go with him and get some food for us. All of us sighed as they exited, Edwin looked back and winked at me.
"I can't believe you told him," Gus said. "What was I supposed to do? He wasn't going to let it go, even though he's only 9. I know where he gets his stubbornness from." I said looking over at my dad. "Hey..."
Edwin and Jamie had been walking for a few moments when he turned looking up at Edwin and asked, "Do you like Kevin?" I always loved his inquisitive nature, but sometimes he used it in awkward situations. His face started to turn red as he stammered out, "Your brother is very special and yes I like him very much." After he said this, his mouth frowned. Jamie said, "cool", with a big grin. "You don't mind that I like your brother Kevin?" "Naw, it's cool, besides I think you're cute together." Edwin's face began to redden. How did someone so young have the capacity to be so open, he thought.
We ate and talked until visiting hours were over. Edwin held onto me after he explained what he and Jamie had talked about. He kissed me on the forehead. Shawn and Gus just held each other. It was nice to not have to hide anymore. I think John was a feeling a little left out because he didn't have anyone to hold onto to. My heart sank a bit for him, but I did still feel a little apprehension about him. He will need to earn back my trust and that will take time.
At 9:30, the overnight nurse said that visiting hours were over for the day and that we could come back tomorrow. I sighed not really wanting to be alone, but I knew it wasn't for much longer. Everyone but Edwin went to my dad to the place he was temporarily renting in Houston, while Edwin drove back to his apartment. He told me he would be back between 8:00 and 8:30 in the morning.
I slept a lot better that night knowing that at least for the time being I wasn't hated by everyone and still had friends and hopefully my brother back. Jamie was back and still loved me, so did my father. I had everything in the world to live for now, quite a difference from 18 months ago. My secret was out and the people who mattered to me the most, knew and accepted me for who I am. I am Kevin Elliot and I am gay. I am no longer scared of that, but going back to school soon did worry me.
I quickly let that worry fall to the waste side because the guys on the basketball team would have my back right? I'd have to ask Shawn and Gus about it tomorrow.
I decided before going to sleep that I would jack off. It has been so long since I'd done that and I was starting to feel horny again. I stroked myself until I couldn't stroke anymore thinking about Edwin and I and it felt so good. I wiped myself off with some tissues by the table lamp, got up and went pee and then crawled under the sheets and fell asleep.
I woke up about 9:30 the next morning according to the side clock. Sitting in a chair to my right was Edwin. I asked him how long he'd been there. He said about an hour, he wanted to just watch me sleep. "Goofy," I said and pulled him into a kiss. This time he stuck his tongue in my mouth and swirled his tongue with mine for several minutes. Jamie stuck his head in and noticed what we were doing, he looked at John and dad and said, "Give them a minute." John peeked his head in and seemed disgusted again at what he saw. He was obviously still struggling with this, regardless to protests of the contrary. My father pulled him away and said angrily, "What is wrong with you?!" "He's your brother and needs your support!" John fell sheepishly against the wall and my father said, "If you can't do this for him and for me, please leave."
We heard a slam against the wall outside my room and instantly pulled apart. "I'm gonna go see what is going on, Edwin said, I'll be right back." What the hell is going on out here?!" Edwin shouted looking at my father and John. "Nothing." John said as he stormed off. Jamie attempted to stop him, but my father held him back. "Let him go."
Edwin came back in the room and saw that there were tears in my eyes. As he wiped them away he said that it was my brother John, he left. When I tried to inquire, he told me he didn't know. My father and Jamie came in. Jamie ran right to me and hopped on the bed. My father's face was flushed. I asked him where John was, he said he isn't coming. I felt a wave of sadness overtake me, but as I was about to cry, Edwin squeezed my shoulder and Jamie wrapped his arms around me. "It'll be okay, Kevin, just give him some time. Don't give up on John yet." I would've expected to hear that from my father or maybe Edwin, but it came from my 9 year old brother. He was being forced to grow up too fast and I felt responsible.
Shawn and Gus came to the hospital about 10:30. My father stopped them as they were to enter and said that there was to be no mention of John. They came in and smiled when the saw me with Jamie in my lap and Edwin to my side. I secretly couldn't wait to have Edwin sitting where Jamie was. No one would ever replace my little brother, I loved him so much, but Edwin was the one I was in love with.
Just as Shawn and Gus and my father got settled, Dr. Yarlow came in and said that if I continued the way I was I could leave the hospital in 2 weeks. I was ecstatic, we were ecstatic about it. Even though I wanted John to share in this good news, I knew to just leave him alone. Carter had to go back home, but I called him immediately from Shawn's phone. He too was ecstatic for me and said he couldn't wait to see me.
That night when were alone in my hospital room, we had been kissing for several minutes when he sat looking at me and said, "I think I love you, Kevin." "You think you love me?" I questioned. He seemed hurt that I said that. He looked away from me and tears started rolling down his cheek. I reached over a touched his arm but he pulled away. Had I ruined my chance with the most wonderful guy I'd ever known? I started to cry. Looking at the back of his head, I said, "I love you Edwin," my voice cracking. For a few moments he still wouldn't look at me, so I decided to get up and move to in front of him. He stopped me, looking into my eyes. "I love you Kevin, I think I always have."
A nurse tried to enter to take my vitals, but quickly saw the situation and left. We giggled as she left, tears still welled up in our eyes. We were in love, and I couldn't be happier. We laid next to each other the rest of the night and fell asleep in each others arms.
Check out day was here before I knew it. My dad, Jamie and Edwin were there. My dad went to fill out some papers so I could be discharged. In no time I was being wheeled out of the room and to the exit. Edwin leaned down and kissed me as Jamie giggled. He said he'd be by after his shift ended. I pulled Jamie down and rubbed his head.
We entered the place that dad's boss was letting us rent. It was almost as nice as home. John wasn't there and dad explained that he was staying with a friend back in San Antonio. It was probably for the best, I thought to myself. Jamie tried to lift one of my bags for me, but it quickly dropped from his little hands. I chuckled and said, "Let me get that, little bro." I got settled but dad told me to not get too comfortable because we'd be heading back in a few days. I frowned at him and said, "What about me and Edwin?" Dad smiled at me and said, "Edwin can come visit whenever he wants." A huge smile appeared on my face and I ran over to my dad and threw my arms around him. Just then Jamie said, "What about me?" "Come here squirt." We stood embracing for several minutes. Dad was beaming as we broke from our hug. "Boys, I know I don't say this enough, but I love you both very much." "We love you too dad," both of us said in unison. Laughter again filled the small room, when dad said for us to go wash up, we were going out to celebrate.
Just as Jamie and I were finishing up, there was a knock at the door. It was Edwin. My father invited him in and before I knew it, he'd invited him to join us for dinner. My dad was 1 in a million. Edwin and my father were shaking hands as we entered. "Edwin will be joining us this evening," My dad said smiling warmly. We went to the Olive Garden to eat. It was great. We ate, drank and joked like a family again. I had missed this ever since before my accident.
The following Monday my dad said would be the day we would be returning to San Antonio. My heart sank because that meant I would be away from Edwin for the first time and I worried he'd forget about me. My fears were quelled when he leaned in close and said in my ear, "You're my one and only." I blushed red when he said this. I leaned into him, taking his hand in mine under the table and said, "Ditto."
When we got home, Edwin and I got out of dad's Cadillac Escalade and ran for the door. We were like kids again. We went in and sat on the large sofa. Edwin sat down next to me and Jamie hopped up into my lap. Dad wanted to take a picture of the three of us. He went and grabbled his camera and took several shots before putting it down and sitting down himself. "Can Edwin stay the night tonight?" I asked my father. He shook his head and said yes but only if we agreed to behave ourselves. Jamie began to giggle as our faces turned red with embarrassment.
That night we did want to mess around but we didn't want to give my dad any reason to not let us see each other, so we agreed to wait. We figured it was one thing to know and accept my being gay, but it was quite another to hear us going at it.
That weekend went by much faster than I or Edwin wanted, but he said he'd be down to see me soon as he could and we could talk on the phone all the time. I was saddened but I also knew he was in love with me and I with him.
My dad went to his room and about an hour later, I carried Jamie to his room and laid him down to sleep. After I put him down, ruffled my hand through his soft brown hair and kissed his cheek, I went to my dads room. I knocked gently and he said, "You can come in son." "Dad," I began to say..."I think I'm in love." he patted an open spot on his bed ushering me to sit down next to him. Tears welled up in eyes and he almost never cried. He put his arms around me and gave me a big hug. He whispered, "I know. All I want you to be is happy again son." "I am," I whispered back. Just then Edwin appeared at the door and peaked in. "Oops," he said. I didn't mean to interrupt. You didn't, my dad said and motioned for him to come in and close the door. I know you boys are in love, but I want you to be careful ok? I don't want to see either of you get hurt. There is still a lot prejudice in the world today. We knew this, but listened intently. And Edwin, he went on, "You brought my son back to life for me and for that you have my eternal gratitude." You both having my blessing and support to be a couple. He was beaming and we were blushing again. We hugged again and then he said we should get some sleep, it was going to be a big day tomorrow.
I slept that night better than I had all the nights I was in the hospital. I woke up the next morning wrapped up in Edwin's arms with his morning wood poking at my butt. "Good morning, sleepy head." I said leaning further against him and kissing him on his forehead. "Good morning," He said back to me. Just then the door opened and Jamie came running in. "Dad asked me to come and get you up." He jumped on the bed and got down between Edwin and I. Edwin had to quickly adjust his stiffening cock. So did I. We gave each other a knowing smile and then began to tickle Jamie. This went on for several minutes until we heard my dad say, "boys, breakfast is getting cold." We got up quickly and as we were pulling on our shorts, Jamie stared in wonder at our stiff cocks in our underwear. "Wow, he said, they're so big." We blushed at each other and said, "last one to the kitchen is a rotten egg." We ran down the hall and to the kitchen. I came in first while Jamie came in second. I think Edwin did it on purpose, but he would never tell me. We joked all through breakfast and as we were cleaning, dad said we should get packing because tomorrow is the big day. For the second time in recent days my heart sank and tears started to flow from eyes. Edwin could see that I was noticeably upset. He reached out and held me against him. I needed him, probably more than he needed me. My dad turned away from the sink and eyed me. He never wanted to see me upset again. "Son, you're still under 18, but you and Edwin can see each other anytime you want." I finally stopped sobbing long enough to slightly smile at my wonderful father. How did I get so lucky? I thought. I had a father and brother who loved me and now a boyfriend who loved me also.
I had nothing to pack, so I helped Jamie pack his stuff. About an hour later, Edwin said he had to go use the bathroom. He went and knocked on my dad's bedroom door. He said, "Come in son." "Its me," Mr. Elliot he said. "Oh, Edwin I'm sorry, I thought you might have been Kevin." They spoke for a few minutes about basketball and then Edwin asked my father if he could take me out on a date tonight? He didn't see why not, but don't keep me out too late. He said he wouldn't.
He ran back to Jamie's room and said for me to get ready, he was taking me out. Jamie started giggling and said, "Someone's got a date, someone's got a date." I'd become accustomed to blushing or crying over the passed few weeks, and by now I was blushing again. I pulled Jamie into a bear hug and gave him a noggie. When he screamed for me to stop, I started to tickle him in his ribs. My father and Edwin were laughing at our exchange but I was reminded about our dinner date. I quickly got up and went to the bathroom to shower.
We went to a nice Chinese Restaurant. Neither of us could pronounce the name properly, but the food was good. I had Orange Chicken and Edwin had Pepper Steak, both came with fried rice and an egg roll. After he paid, we got up and left. I didn't want this night to ever end, but I knew it had to. I was afraid of how long it would be before we would see each other again.
One the way home, I sat and stared out the window. He looked over at me and put his hand on my arm. He asked me what's wrong? I said, "I'm not ready for this to end or to go back to school in San Antonio." "Kevin, it's not ending, it's only beginning." He stated. As we pulled up in the driveway, he leaned over and kissed me. We sat in silence for a few minutes when he said for me to close my eyes. I looked at him questioningly, but complied. A moment later he said open your eyes. In my hand was a silver locket. He said open it. There was a picture of him on one side and a picture of me on the other. He then showed me he had a matching one. I reached for him, the emotion taking me over again. "I don't want to let go, I want to stay like this forever." "Kevin, you don't ever have to let go, I'm not going anywhere." Like the true gentleman that he was, he walked me to the door and we kissed passionately. Jamie was watching us giggling through the side window of the front door. As he turned to leave, he said he'd be by in the morning to see me off.
I could barely sleep that night, to be honest, I was kind of dreading go back home. I didn't know what to expect from the kids at school, I had missed a year and half of it after all. Before I could think anything else I heard something vibrate. In all the excitement, I never even noticed the cell phone laying on the night stand. My father and Edwin must have gotten it for me. There was a text.
Edwin: Hey, cutie sweet dreams. I'll see you in the morning.
Me: Hey, you. I love you, sweet dreams.
Edwin: I love you too.
It was a short exchange, but again he knew exactly what to do to calm me down. Soon I was asleep.
I started to stir when I felt my bed sink. "Ugh, do I have to get up?" I said.
"If you want to see me, you will." Edwin stated. I yawned and stretched, the room coming into focus in my still blurry sleepy eyes.
It was still a couple hours before my father wanted to get going, so Edwin and I spent the morning together. We went out into the expansive back yard, it was twice as large as ours was at home. We sat on a porch swing, gently rocking. "I'm not ready for this," I said again. "And I'm not ready to leave you here." "You can do this, I know you can," he said. "And this isn't forever. You have my locket and you have my heart." I started to cry again. He pulled me to his muscled chest and held me tight. He just rocked me gently until I heard the door push open.
"It's time to go Kevin." My dad stated. I looked up, my eyes all bloodshot from crying. "Dad, I can't leave. I can't go back to school, everyone will hate me." "Not everyone," he said. "You'll have Carter, Shawn and Gus." "Don't forget about me!" Edwin exclaimed. "And Edwin, the boy who brought you back to me, brought you back to life."
It was a tearful goodbye, but as Edwin reminded me, it wasn't goodbye, because he would call or text often and come see me when he could get away.
We loaded the Escalade up, as Edwin got into his blue Ford Focus. We glanced at each other. He quickly ran over and motioned for to roll down the window. "Don't be sad baby, I love you and I'll be down soon." He said leaning in to kiss me again. Jamie giggled again. I rubbed his head as I rolled the window back up.
I sobbed for an eternity it seemed, when Jamie looked at me and said, "Don't be sad, Kev it will be ok and you'll see him again." "When did you get all grown up?" I asked him. "I don't know, I guess with you away someone had to." After that, the ride home was more subdued. I opened the locket and looked at it all the way home.
I pulled out my phone, found his number and went to send a text.
Me: Edwin, I miss you already.
Edwin: I miss you too, Kevin. It will be alright. I'm just a phone call or text away.
Me: I know, but its not the same.
Edwin: I know, but this isn't forever. We will be together again, for life.
Me: For life. All I want is you. Edwin: Same here baby. I have to go do my rounds now. I will call you later.
Me: Ok. L
No response after that. I knew what he said was true, but could I go that long without being with him everyday again? Was I strong enough? Somehow, I'd have to be.