Even the Modest Must Serve By Steam Train ( steam_t2000@yahoo.com )
Chapter 6: Look forward not back.
I had a terrible nights sleep!
First there was my new servant's collar. I was not used to wearing one and no matter which way I lay it felt uncomfortable, then there was what had happened to me today, plus the shock of my new extended family, my fathers sexual perversions, the bunks in the cell were of bare hard timber with no padding, I had only one miserably thin, almost worn out blanket to keep my naked body warm and some of the men in the adjoining cells snored horribly loud or even worse fucked each other making crude groans and moans. Did they have no modesty?
Enough reasons?
As I lay there awake, I could see from where I was lying, through the cell bars into Ed's cell. He was sleeping at the foot of Raymond, midway along the long top bunk bench of the three that ran the length of the back wall of the cell. There had been some attempts to haze Ed too but Raymond with the help of a few of our older ex servants had put a stop to that quickly as well.
Some time late in the night weariness over took me and I dosed off, only to awaken far too soon due to someone climbing onto the bunk with me. Before I could rouse myself properly, I felt my blanket lifted and a cool body snuggle into my own body.
"Shit its cold, are you awake" It was Peter
"I am now, what are you doing?" I replied
"Can I cuddle you? I'm freezing my balls off in here. Let's share our blankets and use our bodies to warm up" Peter stated.
Now up until the last day there was no way with my modesty I would have laid in a bed with any guy and certainly not a servant. But things had changed greatly and Peter's suggestion made sense. Even though I had drifted off into a sleep, I realised I too was cold, the thought of two blankets and the warmth of our bodies huddled together was very enticing. I hadn't forgiven Peter for earlier but what the heck, I wanted warmth.
"Turn and face the wall" Peter said
I did as I was asked and felt Peter's body draw itself close to my body, shaping itself around the contours of my body.
I was now wide awake and not a little aroused, thank heavens my penis was facing the wall so Peter wouldn't know, however I began to sense that Peters penis was equally aroused and sticking into the space between my bum crack. I remember thinking `don't move Thomas'. I didn't and prayed Peter wouldn't either.
We lay there quite for a few minutes then Peter broke the silence by asking
"Have you forgiven me for picking on you this afternoon?"
"No" I replied, "What do you expect, you hurt me and treated me like shit"
"Yeah, just like I've been treated serving your family", Peter replied with a bitter tone in his voice.
"I never did anything to you" I pleaded.
"Yeah exactly, I didn't even warrant a thought did I, we share the same father yet you didn't even take the time to find that out, did you?"
"Peter, I didn't know my father was like that, how do you think that makes me feel? My dads been indentured into service for life today, I have been abandoned by my mother and indentured into service for fifteen years, I find out my father has had all these other kids, my half brothers of a sorts, I know your not legally my half brother but still by blood you are. I'm totally confused and scared Peter and your childish efforts earlier didn't help".
Nothing, not a sound, not a movement, had I said too much?
Then, Peter's hand came over the side of my body and he pulled me tighter in towards him.
"I'm sorry Thomas; I wanted to feel the power this afternoon. You haven't been a servant long enough to know what it's like having to serve a master. The spankings and canings for the smallest error, the total lack of control or power you have as a servant. Then there you stood, naked before me, I just wanted to feel the power of ordering you, one of my former masters around. To make you feel so small so totally humiliated, the feeling of revenge was so good Thomas. If Raymond hadn't stopped me I would have done far worse." Peter stated
"Perhaps" said Peter "I would have regretted it later when I came to my senses. Raymond has always been saving me from myself. He's been the best brother a guy could have and now I'm going to loose him, we will be sold and separated."
"Fuck our father for bringing this on both of us Thomas. Don't waste time feeling pity for him, I don't, if he had managed his company properly we all would have had far more secure lives in our own ways, even though I hated my own life with you, it was probably better than I am going to get now. Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Peter exclaimed with deep bitterness and resentment.
I just lay there for ages and took in Peter's feelings and thought over what he had said before I replied, "Ok ... Ok, I forgive you Peter, ok? Now please let's try to get some sleep!" This was a way too deep a conversation for me especially at this early hour of the morning.
Morning came too soon, the warmth of Peter next to me was so comforting I just wanted to lie there but soon guards aroused us. All the Carter slaves were called out by name into the hallway from all the holding cells and herded along till we came to a large room. In the room Ed and I were separated from the other servants and taken into an adjoining room.
"Edward and Thomas Carter?" a matronly middle aged woman asked
"Yes mam" Ed replied.
"A good try young man, `Mam yes mam' would be totally correct but I like your effort, please take a seat boys"
"I'm Inspector Blackmoore from the Department of Homeland Security; Federal Bureau of Servitude and as your indenture was under federal jurisdiction I have been assigned to oversee your introductory training here at the Tallahatchie County Servitude Processing Centre. We only have today to teach you the basics as your auction is on tomorrow at eleven am".
She lowered her head and read the two files located in front of her. This took over half an hour, I could see the clock on the wall, there was nothing else to do but sit and wait. I thought about how strange it was sitting here totally naked in front of a strange woman. I almost felt no pangs of modesty anymore and I had only been an indentured servant for less than 24 hours.
At one point Ed reached over and took my hand, squeezed it and kept hanging on. Inspector Blackmoore noticed Ed's actions and I began to worry we would we be in trouble, but she said nothing and went back to reading the files, but I'm sure I saw a faint smile on her face. When she was again focused on the files I glanced over to Ed and smiled. He looked terrible, maybe I did too, but throughout the last twenty four hours I had actually been loved more than I had in all my previous life. That love was coating some of the fear and resentment I should have been feeling, Ed on the other hand looked totally miserable and broken.
Eventually Inspector Blackmoore said "Well boys what can I say to you to help you out in all of this?"
Then she paused, thought through something in her head then said "You've come from a life of total privilege to indentured servitude; it must seem to you like your entering hell for the next fifteen years. And the honest answer to that is, yes, it could be hell. Indentured servitude is what you make of it, it does not have to be hell, and in fact it can be a totally rewarding experience. It's up to you boys and the attitude you take into it with you. Fight the fact that your servant's, look for all the injustices and wrongs that will occur and there will be resentment and your time as servants will be hell".
"If I can give you no other advice boys and I will try to help you in as many ways as I can today, this is the thing you must try to take with you. Accept you are servants for the next fifteen years, don't look back on the past it, will only embitter you, look forward and serve your masters with 100% effort and you will find your servitude rewarding. Remember it is a Masters duty to discipline and maintain order in their households and it is a servant's duty to serve, it is right and just that as a servant, you need hard work, regular hours, discipline, direction, supervision and lawful punishment if you step out of line. In fact at the end of their time many servants volunteer again to serve, because they feel so fulfilled in serving under these conditions".
Well what could I say after that speech, so I said the obvious "Mam yes man", Ed followed suit.
Inspector Blackmoore looked over the brim of her glasses and gave a faint smile "Heavy, hey boys, but its no idle speech, I want you boys to settle in quickly, so take in what I said and the first time you step out of line remember what I said and adjust your attitude, you'll save yourselves many a good caning".
The rest of the day was tiring and not without its fair share of slaps with the cane across both our naked buttocks. Inspector Blackmoore for all her compassion was still a master and disciplining errant servants in training was her rightful duty as she regularly informed us just before a caning.
We were taught exactly how to stand, how to speak, how to serve and very embarrassingly how to service our masters. Both Ed and I had to give one of the local guards a blow job under instruction from Inspector Blackmoore, I was up first and I gagged, dry reached and received the worst caning of the day for my rudeness. I was then made to practise again on a second guard, much to his enjoyment and my humiliation, till I was judged satisfactory. Ed suspiciously looked like he had done it all before and passed the first time around, just how much had he and Raymond done?
I may have got the biggest caning of the day but poor Ed suffered the worst humiliation. I was prepubescent so when it came to preparing our bodies for the auction tomorrow I was already hairless from neck to toe. Ed was not and had to stand there in front of me and Inspector Blackmoore whilst some slaves shaved his small patch of pit hairs, inspected his chest but found nothing but baby fuzz then shaved off his lightly haired happy trail, before trimming then shaving off his reasonably thick pubic bush and shaving his ball sack smooth. Finally they shaved his legs where he had some hair starting to grow on his lower legs and ended by shaving his arse crack smooth. When they had finished poor Ed looked so much younger, though his penis and balls were much bigger than mine and after his shaving session they were very erect which seemed to add to his total humiliation.
Thankfully our head hair was judged satisfactory for the auction with only minor trimming, Inspector Blackmoore informing us both that it was better to leave some hair on the head as different Masters liked to do different things to servant's hair and if it was cut too short it could spoil a possible sale.
We were told the laws governing indentured servants were strict and inflexible so do not break them unless we were into pain and suffering, however the same laws also laid down basic protections for slaves, which the Federal Bureau of Servitude fastidiously upheld by regular inspections.
Ed was over 16 and was of age, so his masters could use him fully for sex; however they could not permanently maim, brand, starve, imprison in confinement for longer than 3 days or administer punishment over the prescribed daily and weekly maximums without court approval. For me being still 14 there were restrictions on my sexual use. I was relieved to find out that no one was allowed up my arse till I was sixteen; as well any Master that took me on had to maintain me with access to basic schooling until I was sixteen.
This Inspector Blackmoore said would mean I was not as sort after as Ed and thus I would not fetch as much as Ed would at auction tomorrow. She even offered the passing comment that the reason our brother Jim was not joining us was probably due to the fact that he would be worth even less and even harder to auction off because he had to be kept even longer at school.
By the end of the day when we joined our cell mates again for dinner, I was exhausted and like Ed had a very sore rear end that made relaxing very uncomfortable. I had never ever been spanked until till yesterday, now it seemed that every hour bought a new lashing with the cane. I could hear the teasing Ed got from all the servants in his cell as he walked in. There was no hiding the red cane marks on his newly indentured rear end or the totally bald body. Even Raymond made a comment to him about "How did it feel to be a fully fledged servant"?
Only Peter and the two non Carter boys remained in our cell this night. Peter said the guards had, on processing all the paperwork reassigned the young Carter servants, my half brothers as I now thought of them, to family cells with their mothers, but that he was too old being over 11 years of age and would be staying. There was some humanity in the world I thought, though. I also felt a pang of jealousy, the younger boys had some one who loved them with them tonight, I only had Ed and maybe Raymond and we were separated by steel bars.
Peter the little shit, just wanted company and asked question after question about my day all through eating our dinner of slave chow, till eventually I had to plead "Come on Peter, I'm really tired, please come lie with me and lets get some sleep" It was an offer he couldn't refuse.
To my surprise and relief Peter cuddled up to me and was soon making mild purring sounds as he fell into deep sleep before my tired body drifted the same way. I liked the feel of his body next to mine but my sore bottom meant that it was not as comfortable as the previous night and it took me a while to drift off even though I was dead tired.
Again the morning was bought on by guards awakening us from our slumber. After a breakfast of a porridge like substance was eaten, all the servants were taken out of their holding cells marched to the shower room and we were made to wash. It felt so good to be clean.
I had never been to a slave auction before so I didn't know what to expect. I was placed back in our cell for many hours and I watched as the other cells were emptied out. A few servants came back and were put in their cells again, some of the experienced servants from our estate told me through the bars that those returning hadn't been sold and would have to wait till the next auction.
It was then that a new fear hit me.
I realised that when the turn of Ed and Raymond's cell came and if they were sold, I would never see them again. You would think that with all that had happened to me in the last 48 hours that I would cope with this new fear, but I didn't. I broke down completely.
I was inconsolable. Nothing Ed, Raymond anyone could do or say had any effect on me. I was about to be totally alone and I could not cope with that thought.
I contemplated ending it all right then, I had nothing to live for, except pain and humiliation. Death for the first time in my young life seemed the best option, but there was nothing to end my life with. I guess in hind sight it was a not too uncommon a feeling for many a newly indentured servant and so we were deliberately kept naked with only the flimsiest of blankets and nothing more than a light weight plastic spoon was ever given us to eat with.
When I even failed to respond to several severe cane strokes from a couple of the guards my totally distressed state was obviously noted, for the next thing I knew Inspector Blackmoore and a young man who looked to be in his early thirties were sitting beside me on the bunk. The inspector said `Remember what I said Thomas, look forward not back". Then she hugged me.
Her hug didn't end my bitter despondency but it did give me some little sense that not all was foul with the world. The man accompanying her smiled at me and asked what exactly was making me so unhappy?
I replied through my sobs that I was never going to see Ed or Raymond ever again. They were being auctioned soon and would be taken away by their new masters.
The man asked who Raymond was, and after I gained enough composure to tell him about Raymond, I then pointed him out to her through the bars. He was still standing there with Ed, looking gravely concerned for me.
The man introduced himself as Dr Learner, a child Psychologist who was attached to the centre and then turned to the Inspector and beckoned with his head towards Raymond and Ed in the next cell.
Inspector Blackmoore immediately told the guard that had fetched her to bring Raymond and Ed around to my cell.
Without thinking I hugged her tight and then shook Dr Learners hand and said "Thank you, thank you so much"
Inspector Blackmoore half-heartedly admonished me for improper behaviour to a Master, but began blushing, so she quickly turned to the guard and said "Leave them here together till its time for their auction" and she beat a quick retreat out of the cell, followed by Dr learner who had a huge grin across his face.
It was a simple act of kindness that was not by "the book', but it took my mind off my abject misery. I may never have been going to forget the past days but like wise I will never forget Inspector Blackmoore and dr Learner for that act of pity and kindness.
We had less than an hour together before Ed and Raymond's cell were called for auction but we made good use of our limited time. I hugged Ed tightly the moment he came in and Raymond did the same with his brother Peter. Ed was my brother, I could do nothing more but feel our love in that tight embrace but at that same moment I realised, I really wanted more and that Raymond could give me that.
Stuff my modesty; I thought, let the whole world see how I longed for Raymond.
After a long hug with Ed where nothing was said but much was conveyed, I beckoned Raymond over from Peter and taking a blanket, we cuddled down on the bench.
I noticed once as I glanced momentarily away from Raymond, Ed and Peter looking at us in disbelief. I don't think they thought I had it in me to do such a thing. The next time I glanced across Ed and Peter were sitting further along the bench quietly talking, I suspect about Raymond and I. After that I focussed fully on Raymond happy that I was getting some love out of this last brief meeting before our permanent separation.
For the last time I felt Raymond's firm pecks, erect nips, tight stomach and arse, his smooth pubes and his erect penis. I too was erect and we stroked each other gently and lovingly to a mutual climax. For a few brief moments the utter pain of our imminent separation was forgotten as an overwhelming flush of love and pleasure swept all worldly concerns away.
End Chapter 6