Dedicated to everyone I know and love...
You don't know what reality is until you experience it...
-Essential Element-
By Kimberly A. Anderson
- Birth of a Friendship...
"It was a quiet afternoon and I had just gotten out of ninth grade onto summer vacation. I never really thought I would actually pass but I guess I was lucky. The update- Trey Richards still has a crush on Amy and Marlene was played by Kyle. Matt and I broke up, Jason still likes me and..." "Tiffany!" "What!?" I yelled. "Turn the music down!" Tyler(my little bro) said. "No!" I screamed back. I stopped writing and put my diary down as I heard a fist slamming against my bedroom door. "What!?" I yelled across the room. "Tiffany, turn the music down!" mom said. "Why?" "Your little brother is trying to finish his project and can't concentrate on it with all of the noise." "Can't the little geek do that when he goes back to school?" I snarled. "Tiffany!" she said in a raised voice. "Fine" I said and shut the stereo off. "Thank you." mom said.
I put the cd in my cd player, put on the headphones and flipped pages of the latest "Teen People" magazine while I blew another bubble with my gum. I glanced out the window after heraing a car horn and watched what seemed to be a moving van pull up to the empty house next door. I watched for a few moments but then turned my attantion back to the magazine. I never really payed attention to the fact we had a new neighbor.
After I finished the last page of the magazine, I turned off the cd player, took off the headphones then walked downstairs out of my room. "Hey mom, we have a new neighbor." I said in my soft, calm voice. "I heard. Why don't you go bring them a housewarming gift and greet them?" she suggested. "Pshh, mommm! Why doesn't the shrimp do it?" "Because the little "shrimp" wasn't stating the fact that he wasn't minding his own business and remained preoccupied onto his own business rather than the social activities of other people which never concerned him." my little brother stood behind me and said. "Shut up dork." I turned around and snikered. "Mom, Tiffany just told me to shut up!" he yelled. "Tiffany, don't tell your little brother to shut up." said mom. "But mom!." "Tiffany," dad said in his strict voice as he looked up at me from his newspaper. "you heard your mother." "Ugh what is up with this family!? Fine, I'll go greet the neighbors!" "Thank you Tiffany." mom said and looked back at her Casual Fashion Monthly magazine. "Please, call me Tiff." I said as I walked back upstairs to put on my makeup. "The front door isn't upstairs." dad said as he laughed with the rest. "I need makeup." I said "You don't need it. You're ugly enough as it is." my little bro said. "UGH!" I screamed and slammed the bedroom door behind me.
I walked up to the mirror and scanned my face for any marks or zits. Luckily I found none. I traced my fingers along my semi-tanned, blue-eyed complexion and ran them through my long, knotted brown hair. "Just great..." I whispered to myself and stroked the brush a few times behore it looked presentable. I stepped on the scales to see if I gained weight or anything. It read 121 lbs. "Gawd I'm fat." I said to myself again. I looked at my painted nails and approved of them.
"Tiffany, you're going to the neighbors house, not a beauty pagent! What's taking so long?" mom said. "Sorry mom. I'll be out in a sec." I quickly put on my eye shadow, eye liner, lipstick and perfume, then walked back downstairs. "Ok mom, I'm leaving now." I said as I put on my black, 2" platform shoes. "Take your time over there and don't bother returning." Tyler said. I turned around, smiled sarcastically at my family and slammed the door behind me.
"Hi, my name's Tiff." I rehearsed to myself as I walked down the sidewalk. "Nooo. That's not good." "How are you?" "Noooo too friendly." "I live next door and..." "Hello." a voice said. I looked up. "Hey."
I glanced at the teenage girl who was about my height and age, short red hair, shy green eyes hiding behind her glasses and barely even a bust. "I'm Tiff, Tiff Rowland." I said. "I'm Heather Bailey... Nice to meet you" she said. "Nice to meet you too. I live next door." "I noticed." I took my eyes off of the girl in a skirt and looked down at the sidewalk for a moment. "Oh where are you from?" I asked. "DC." "That's pretty far away... What made you come here?" "Some relatives live down here." she said. "Cool." "You look familiar... like I've seen you before. I don't know." she said. "Really?" "Yeah." "Hey do you want something to drink?" I asked. "No thanks... Would you like to come inside?" "Sure." "Okay cool."
We walked up the sidewalk and porch into her two-story house. I walked aroun the empty floor and followed her upstairs. "This is supposedly my bedroom." she said before she opened the door to her room.
We walked around on the empty floor, then then two men carrying a large bed frame walked in. They sat the bed down while another brought up the matress. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead with his arm and walked back downstairs. "Have a seat?" she said and I giggled. We both sat down on the bed. "So tell me about yourself." I said. "Like what?" "The type of music you like, hobbies, likes, dislikes." "Oh. umm... I like to read, I like slow songs, I hate discrimination, I love computers." "Hehe." "What's so funny?" she asked. "Nothing, that's just not my type." "Well what is your type?' I stared into her deep green eyes and noticed her looking at me in a curious way. "More of a punkish girlie." "Oh..." Her face blushed a deep red and opened her mouth to say something but couldn't. "Is something wrong?" I asked. "No." "Hey want to come over to my house and watch tv or something?" "Sure." "Ok... should you tell your parents you're coming over or..?" "They're not here right now." "Will they be back soon?" "No, not for about three hours is what they told me." "Cool." I stood up. "Coming?" "Yeah." she said.
We walked downstairs and out of her house. We were walking along the sidewalk when we started talking. "So... are you into sports?" I asked. "Not really... Are you?" "No, hehe." She smiled and looked up at me. "How long have you lived here?" she asked. "My entire life." "So you know where everything is?" "Practically everything." "That's cool." "Which singers do you like?" "Enigma, enya.." "Woah... They're dope!" "Dope?" "Sorry, punk talk." I said. "Oh, ok... So you're not all about punk?" "Not exactly.. I do have a softer side, you know." "Tell me about it inside." "Okay."
We walked through my door and I introduced Heather to the family. "Heather these are my parents and that lil dude, over there, is my little bro, Tyler." I said. "Nice to meet you all." she said. "And mom, dad, this is Heather. She's lives next door." "Nice to meet you too Heather." my parents said as they shook hands. "Ok now let's go to my room." I said. "Okay." she said and followed me upstairs. I opened the door, let her in and closed it behind me.
- Introduction To Fate
"Nice room." she said. "Thanks..." I replied, glancing around at the room I've lived in since I was about five or so. "Reminds me of..." she started. "Of what?" "Her..." "Who's "her"?" "An... old friend.."
I lied down on the bed and leaned on my left side, holding my head on my hand while the elbow was supporting. "Tell me about it.." "Well... where do I start?" "Where else? From the beginning." I said and smiled. "Okay... but it's not a very short story." "I have all summer." She giggled and sat down in a chair beside the bed. "Ok, it all started on a dark, rainy day..."
(At this point Heather is telling the story. There will be no dialogue from Tiffany as of yet.)
About three or so years ago I met her. It was a dark and rainy night at DC while I was walking home. I had gotten lost because I was new to the town and was walking home from an after school meeting that the school held for everyone new. I hadn't seen a payphone anywhere. The rain made my glasses foggier and wet, as well as the dark made the sidewalk nearly invisible for me. School books were soaked and I was lost.
I took off my glasses and tried to walk that way the rest of the way trying to find my house or just find some nice person to let me use the phone or take me home. Suddenly, I lost my balance fom the wet sidewalk and landed on the hard concrete. My hands had supported me from major injury but I'd still hit my head on the sidewalk and I lifted up my head and looked at the glasses I dropped. I felt the scratches on the frame, the lenses were cracked; they were broken.
I slowly pushed myself up and gathered my books standing on my knees, just as a stranger in a long black coat walked up to me. "Hello.. who's there.." I said. "Hey, are you alright?" the feminine voice replied. "Yeah... I fell..." "Don't you know these roads are dangerous as hell.. especially at this time of night.." she started and kneeled down beside me. ". . ." "Who knows what kind of perverts live around here..." She cupped my face in her hands and I could see a fuzzy image of her looking directly into my eyes. "I.. I'm aware of that.. but I was lost... and my glasses.. are broke." "Come inside my house. You can call your parents or whoever... Maybe even stay the night." "Th.. thanks..." "No problem." She helped me up and after I gathered my things, she walked with me to her house a few yards away. "Ow!" I said in pain. "What's wrong?" "My foot, I think I sprained it." "Here, come inside."
She opened the door and guided me in. She slowly laid me down on the couch, walked back to the door and shut it. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked. "Yeah..." "Hey, mind if I play some Enigma music?" "Who's Enigma?" "Oh... Just a group." "What kind of music?" "Here.. just listen." she said and tured on the stereo. I paused a moment, closed my eyes and drifted off in a serene fantasy. "So... do you like it?" "Yes.. yes I love it... Who is it again?" "Enigma." she said as she took the cd out and unplugged the stereo. "Thanks... and also, thank you for helping me. It's very rare that I would be treated so generously." "Why?" she paused and looked over at me. "Because of my looks... my style... my beliefs..." "Beliefs?" "Yeah..." She walked up beside me and sat down with her knees bent upward and back to the couch. "Tell me about them.." "Well... for one... I'm open minded." She giggled. "What!?" I asked, nearly insulted. "No, not at you; at them. Since when has being ignorant a good thing? Being open minded is a great thing." I smiled and felt relieved. "But you wouldn't understand what I meant.." "I might if you told me." "Well... I... I don't think it's wrong to be..." I paused for a moment. "Be what?" she said as if she was very eager to hear what I had to say and as if what I was about to say was what she felt. "...Bisexual or gay." She turned around and looked at me. "Y.. you think it's okay?" "Yeah... do you?" "Well, I, myself.. am... a.." I turned over and looked at her. I could see her well enough to run my fingers through her long, black hair. "It's okay.. don't be afraid to tell me anything."
"I'm a lesbian." she said softly, then looked down at the ground.
I smiled and hugged her tight. "Wh.. what was that hug for?" "I can tell you've been through a lot of pain because of this..." "Yes... but I don't want to drown you in my problems." "I'll listen to anything you have to say." "Thanks... oh by the way, I have a pair of glasses you can have. I used to wear them but hate them so I give them to you. I hope they fit and you can see with them." She stood up and walked over to a small table, picked up something, and walked back. "Here." "Thanks." I said as I put the glasses on. "Well?" "Perfect!" I said and looked up at the gothic feminine figure before me.
She had long black hair, hazel eyes, semi-thin eyebrows and she was about six feet. I stared at her pale complexion and noticed a small tear rulling down the side of her nose. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" "Because... never in my life have I been accepted... My mom hates me besause I am who I am, I dropped out of school because of the harassment I got... I've tried to commit suicide a few times..." "Please... don't try to kill yourself again... I'm here for you." I wiped her tears away with my thumbs and palms pressed up against her cheeks. She looked up at me and hugged me. "I'm here for you too..."
I smiled and a tear came to both of our eyes. A tear of joy. At last I'd found someone who accepted me... who understood me... This was my fate... I knew we were meant to meet. "How do you feel?" I asked her. "I feel..." She slowly leaned her head closer to mine and pressed her lips upon mine. "Wait.." "Yes?" she asked. "I like you and all but I don' know if I'm ready to do this..." "Oh... I, I'm sorry..." "Don't be," I whispered in her ear, "I am." She was silent. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Y... Yeah. I'm fine." A tear came to her eye. "Please don't cry... I'm here for you... Tell me what's wrong..." "Nothing... I'll be fine..." "Heather!!" I heard a voice call from outside. "I.. I have to go now." I told the girl. No reply came from her. "I'll miss you.... Bye." I added I stood up and kissed her cheek softly. I walked outside to my mom and we walked home in the dark. I didn't dare explain a thing.. other than I was lost...
The next day after school, I decided to walk back to house to see how she was, but I was too late. I'd found the house surrounded by police and every area around the house was restricted, so I walked up to one of the officers. "What happened?" I asked. "Sorry, but this is police business. I can't tell you anything." he said. "But she was my friend... I think I'd have a right to know what happened." "Ma'am I'm sorry but.." he started, but I ran past him, under the tape and into the house.
As soon as I got inside the house, I had saw something that I never wanted to witness in my entire life- the body of her- lying on the floor... still... silent... cold... with a bottle of pills a few feet away from her pale hand. I looked over at one of the investigators. "What the hell happened?" I asked. "I can't answer any questions until the investigation is over and evidence is proven. And you shouldn't be here." he replied. "Damnit... I want to know... It might have been..." "Might have been what?" he asked in concern. "My.. fault.." He took me over to a corner. "Why? Did you witness something?"
I hesitated and didn't want to bring up anything that might lead me into this case so I thought of something simple to say. "No, just concerned.." "Oh... Do you know her?" "I've just seen her at school a few years ago." I said, but honestly didn't mean it. "Have you ever talked to her or have friends that know her?" "No." "Why are you here then?" "I just know she lives here." "Thanks for your concern but we're busy." "...Okay."
I walked out of the house and down the walkway where I saw a woman sitting on a bench in front of the yard and crying. I walked up to her and sat down beside her on the bench. "Did you know her?" I asked, nearly crying myself. " She had so much anger and sadness built up inside her... I kept telling her to get over it... I had no idea she was that serious..." I hugged her. "When I got home, I saw a note on the floor beside her..." she added. I sat there paarlyzed. "...It said.." she paused and cried again "Don't forget me, Heather." I cried and pouted my head sitting there for a few moments of silence. "I.. I'm Heather." I said. She looked up.. ". . ." "I'm sorry." I said. "I... I don't know what to do now." "Ma'am... what was her name?" "Sara... She was my daughter." "Oh..." "This is just all too much... I should have paid more attention to her needs... But I judged her...." I hugged her again. "Please... it wasn't your fault... it was mine." "Why?" "I didn't show her love.. I.. I opened myself to her but I didn't support her..." "Suicide..." she whispered.
I hugged her and sat there hugging her without exactly knowing how much time passed. "I.. have to... go home... I'm sorry." I said. "Bye..." I stood up and as I walked home, thought about the memeories of the night that caused this.. everything that happened... every single thing...
I never went back to that house but I never forgot it. Everytime I passed it walking along the sidewalk or riding to school, I'd always look at it and it would remind me of the night I seen her face for the first time... That same song would play through my head and whenever I felt lonely, I would hold the glasses close to my heart and the words on the note would flow through my head... "Don't forget me, Heather..."
I(Tiff) lied there on the bed silent and still in awe by the whole story. "You okay?" Heather asked. "Wow..." "It was pretty dramatic..." she said. "Yeah... I would imagine.." I heard a car pull in next door and looked out the window. "A black car pulled in your driveway." I told her. "That's mom and dad." "Well... I'll see you tomorrow maybe." I hugged her. "Bye." she said. "Bye." I watched her walk out of the bedroom and my eyes followed her down the sidewalk until she was inside her house.
I lied down on my back and stared at the ceiling for awhile before looking out the other window and noticing it was night. Knowing that summer vacation wasn't going to last forever, I turned on TV and decided to stay up longer.
After watching TV for a few hours, it got lame so I dug out my cd player and searched everywhere in my room for my headphones but couldn't find them. Acting almost dsesperate, I walked across the hall to my brothers room and knocked on his door. Luckily, he was awake. "What?" he said. "Have you seen my headphones?" "No, look in the kitchen." "What the hell would they be doing in the kitchen?" "I don't know, I just think I saw them there." "Okay, thanks."
I walked quietly downstairs to the kitchen and looked all over the counter and kitchen table. I scanned drawers and shelves but instead of headphones, I found something I wasn't expecting to find- an old diary. I picked it up and brought it upstairs with me instead of worrying about the headphones. I locked the door, lied down on the bed and opened the diary to see whos it was. "Rose Parker" it said. "Who the hell is that?" I thought and glanced over at a piece of paper that fell out.
I picked up the piece of paper which happened to be a letter of some sort addressed from Arlington, Virginia.
Dear Diane(which is my mom's name),
How's Tiffy? She was so little last time I saw her. Things are okay over here, except my daughter's been acting so weird lately. She's been quiet and paranoid ever since she quit school. I tried sending her to a counselor but nothing seems to work. Is Tiffy doing the same? Please write back and give me an update on things.
Love,
~Rosie
"Who's she talking about?" I said to myself as I rubbed my eyes. It was getting late so I put the diary under my pillow, changed out of my clothes and went to sleep.
The next day, I woke up, put on a long t-shirt and lazily walked downstairs. while I was walking, I had remembered about the previous night and the letter. "Mom, who's Rose Parker?" She looked up at me. "Why?" "I... was..." I started, trying to think of a good excuse, " I just heard her name somewhere." "Well, she's my sister." "Oh..." "Are you okay dear?" "Yeah mom." I said, leaning on the wall. "Oh.. okay.." "Oh hey mom, can I talk to you for a sec?" "Sure honey. About what?" "I meant... alone." "Oh okay."
She stood up and walked into the kitchen with me. "Yes?" she asked. "I found a diary... in this drawer... It belonged to Rose Parker." "What? Why did you have it?" "Last night I was looking for my headphones and I thought it might be in the kitchen, but as I was looking, I found a diary and I.. wanted to.." "Read it?" she finished. "Yeah.." She giggled. "What?" "I stole that diary from her when we moved out of the house. She was my sister." I joined mom in giggling. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?" she asked. "Oh.. there was something else." "I'm listening." "A letter fell out of the diary as I was reading it..." "Oh..." "Mom.. who was she talking about?" "Her daughter." "What was her name?" I asked. "Her daughters name?" "Yeah." "Sara... why?" I put my hand over my nouth while my jaw dropped. "Did you just s.. say... Sara?" "Yes... is something wrong?" "No... excuse me.. I have to go call Heather." "Whay call her? She's your neighbor." "R.. Right! I'll be back later." I grabbed the diary and ran to Heather's house which was only next door. I knocked and waited a few seconds. "Hello." she said as she answered the door. "Heather, I really need to talk to you." "Okay, come in." "Thanks." I said. "Mom, Dad, this is Tiff." "Hello." they said. "Hey." I replied. "My room's more decorated." she said as we walked upstairs. "Okay, cool."
We walked into her room and I sat down on a chair. "What did you need to talk about?" "I found a diary in the kitchen drawer... it belonged to Rose Parker." "Okay... what's the point?" "Rose parker is my moms sister.. and.. she had a daughter named Sara and they lived in Arlington." "Woah... what are you getting at?" "Well... There was a Sara in your story... DC.. Arlington.. and in the letter I read from Rose mentioned Sara was having problems..." "So are you saying that you think the Sara I met, was your cousin?" "She might be." She paused for a moment and stared at me. "This is just.. freaky." she said. I shuffled my feet around on the floor while silence surrounded us. "Did you say that she was a lesbian?" I asked. "Yeah." "Well... to tell you the truth... I don't know if I am or not. I never really thought about it until now." "Give yourself time to discover who you are." "Hey could I ask you a personal question?" "Sure." "Are you a... lesbian..?" "I... well... I've never told anyone else but I have had some attraction to females." "I do too.."
I glanced over at her and scanned every detail of her complexion at she turned towards the window. She looked over at me and I just smiled. I walked over to the window and sat down on a chair by it. "It's a great day." I said. "Yeah." "I have the whole summer to be free." She smiled.
I sat down with my head lying on my hand while the elbow supported it. Through the corner of my eye I could see her looking at me. "You know what?" she said. "Yeah?" "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
- Falling for Innocence
Weeks passed and we never spend a second without each other. We were always visiting each other or shopping around the local mall just getting to know each other. Her shyness eventually escaped her and I felt more comfortable than ever before with another female.
One evening, she came to my house again and we started talking about our personal lives a little more than before. I practically told her about every boyfriend I've had and every crush I had as well. It got to the point where I was so close to admitting my crush but I managed to keep it secret... until the next time she would come and visit. "Oh, hey Heather." I said as I closed the front door. "Hey, could I stay for a bit?" "Of course. Wanna go to my room?" "Sure" We both walked upstairs to my room. "So," I said as I sat down on the bed, "what brings you here?" She looked at me and walked closer , keeping full eye contact. "You..." She brushed the side of my cheek with her hand and softly pressed her lips against mine. I looked at her and for a moment I couldn't think of anything and closed my eyes. My hands roamed across her waist and up her back while she kissed a little deeper. She slowly lifted up my shirt and I allowed her to take it off. "Are you sure about this?" she asked. "Yes..." I replied. I rested my chin on her shoulder and hugged my arms around her waist. She embraced her arms around my shoulders, then she licked my neck and kissed it as well. I moaned and hearing her breath right in my ear had turned me on so much, I moaned a little louder and leaned back until my body was all the way on the mattress. She crawled on top of me and started kissing down my collarbone to my breasts where she stopped in the middle. Her hand slid along my waist and jeans as he began to unhook my bra with the other hand. "Tiffany!" my little brother called. I sat up quickly. "What?" "Mom said to go to sleep now." "Now? But it's only.." I then looked at the clock. It read 2:37 "Fine, I will." "Is everything okay?" Heather asked. "Yeah... I'm sorry. Maybe we could continue some other time." "Alright." I took my jeans off. "I never sleep with actual clothes on." "Alright." I smiled and looked into her eyes as I lifted the covers. "Goodnight." she said. "Wait." "Yes?" I rested my right hand on her jawbone and kissed her softly. "Now goodnight." I smiled and closed my eyes.
<I was standing in a doorway staring at Sara. The room was dark and there was only one window but no glass. I walked closer. "This is what happens when you love someone you can't let go." she said. "What do you mean?" I asked. She turned around and stabbed a knife into my stomach. I touched the wound, then stared at my red hand. "Heather is mine, cousin." she said as I awoke>
I lied there and stared at the ceiling for a bit. "You okay?" Heather rolled over and asked. "Yeah, I just had a nightmare." "Hey, what's that?" she asked, and pointed to the window. I stared at the window and seen a huge lump pressed up against it. I put on a long t-shirt to see what it was, and after I opened the curtains, it bursted through. I realized that it was a dead body. "Oh my god.." I said. "You tell your parents while I see if they're familiar." "Okay."
I ran across the floor to my parents room. I knocked but they didn't answer so I busted in. My parents were lying still in their beds. I tried calling them, but they didn't seem to hear me so I walked up to the bed, lifted the covers and my fathers right arm fell to the floor. I screamed and got down on my knees, and cried uncontrollably. The arm had been cut clean off with no fractures. My mother and father were surely dead. I slowly stood up and pulled away the rest of the covers and found that my parents limbs were separated from the rest of their body... even their heads. I cried but heard Heather calling to me from another room. I quickly ran out of the room and ran to the room where Heather was, except, I didn't see Heather. As soon as I entered the room, the door slammed behind me. I ran to the door but it wouldn't budge so I turned around. A dark figure stood before me and I walked closer to it util I was only a few feet away. "Heather is mine, cousin." it said. I quickly noticed that it was Sara. She turned around and I noticed the wounds of the glass marks from her when... she fell through the widow. "Why aren't you dead? You were when you fell through the.." "I came back for Heather." "So you killed your aunt and uncle... my PARENTS!" "If only they would have cooperated with me more..." "Oh my god what have you done with Heather? Where is she?" She pointed out the window. "This is also happens when who you love, loves someone else." I walked to the window and looked out. There was Heather... lying on the ground... still... silent... dead. A solitary tear rolled off of my cheek onto the ground beside Heather. I breathed slower and closed my eyes, then a sense of anger overwhelmed me. I turned around and grabbed her. I choked her, but then I noticed something in my stomach. The handle of a knife was sticking out, and it was then did I notice the pain. I fell to the floor on my back as she pulled the knife out of me. She crawled beside me and looked into my eyes. I stared back at her eyes as my life was ending, then, she bent over by my ear and whispered "wake up."
I woke up screaming in my bed. I looked around me. The window was okay. Heather wasn't here. that same t-shirt was hanging up in my closet. Everything was fine, just as if nothing happened. "What's wrong?" mom asked as she came through the door. I somehow forgot to lock it. "Where's Heather?"I asked. "Heather?" she asked and then sat on my bed. "You know... our neighbors daughter." "Honey, you must have been dreaming. That old house is still empty." I looked out the window. No cars were there. The house still had covering over the windows. It looked like nothing had happened. "It's okay mom. I'll be fine." "If you say so." she said, and got up and left. I sat there for a few minutes then heard something outside. I looked out the window, and saw a black car pulling up to the driveway of the old house, followed by a moving van. The car parked in the driveway and I saw three people coming out of it: a middle-aged man, a woman with brownish hair and, Heather.