Escape

By Rachel Lewis

Published on Jan 6, 2000

Bisexual

Hey everyone! Look it's finally here! I know its been a really long time and I know I promised more sections of Choices before this one, but hey, when the writer's block breaks, you just go with it. ? I hope you enjoy this section. Email me with what you think! As always I love to get mail. I'm not making any more promises about when anything is going to be done since I have a habit of not keeping those promises. Just know there will be more.

Also, I had someone email me a while back about posting my story on their website. If your reading this, email me. I lost your email and I do want to send everything to you. I'm not ignoring you. I just lost your address. ?

Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah...you know what's up

PS: Thanks DJ!

Escape

Prologue to Chapter 30

Allie sighed as she looked at the computer screen in front of her. No matter what she wrote, it still seemed like she was just bitching about her life. Taking another look at the assignment for her Examination of Life class, she just decided it was time for a break.

Allie flopped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She hadn't been out of this tiny room all day. And where the hell was Twiggy? He had been gone when she had woken up this morning, which was totally unlike him.

The door opened and Kate walked in carrying her books and her winter coat. She dropped the pile of stuff on her bed and sat down. She looked exhausted. Kate had left for class at 7:30 and had gone straight through until 2:30.

"Hey sweetie, how's the paper going?" Kate came over, gave her a kiss on the cheek and collapsed on the bed next to her. Allie rolled onto her stomach and looked at Kate with a smile. She knew she had been lucky to get a roommate that she got along with so well.

"Crappy. There's no other word to describe it except crappy."

"I'm sure it's not that bad honey. Want me to read it for you?"

"Not yet. Let me finish it first then you can read it. Hey have you seen Twiggy today?"

Kate got up and walked over to the fridge. She grabbed a cold bottle of water and took a sip. "I saw him walking through the quad with Cody earlier. I guess Cody signed him out this morning. God knows what trouble they are getting into."

Allie sighed again. Twiggy was one of her best friends and she had trouble asking him to leave, but he'd been here for over a week and was getting on her last nerve. He was running though and she had told him if he ever needed to go anywhere, she would always take him in.

"He's been pretty good this week. I just wish that he and Cody hadn't joined forces together. They are trouble."

Kate went through her book bag looking for her calculus book. "Has he talked to your step-father yet?"

"Nope. I think he's just going to be stubborn for a bit. And he's met his match with Brian. It's not going to be pretty when the two of them get in the same room again. He might even try to get the other guys against Twiggy as well. He did that to Ginger and it took ages for them all to treat Ginger like an equal again."

"Talked to Nick today?"

"No. And I doubt I will. He's busy."

Kate watched as Allie's face clouded over. It had been a tough week for her and all she wanted was to spend some time with Nick, but that was impossible. She couldn't fly to Europe again.

"It's only one more week. Then he'll be back." Allie said out loud.

"Is he going to get to stop by? Or is he going to be busy?" Kate asked, sitting down at her desk with her calculus.

"I doubt it. But we go on break in a few weeks and I was thinking of hopping on tour for a few dates. I should really work on the wedding, but I'm so tired of all this already. I just want it done."

"If there is anything you need me to do, just let me know. I know Casey is handling a lot of it, but she's got school too."

Allie laughed dryly. "I love Casey dearly and she is my best friend, but school is not a priority in her life. Her parents will take care of her no matter what."

"Well, she is still there and she is trying to pass."

"She's a art major. Her life isn't that tough. Casey draws all day."

"Don't be bitter. It doesn't suit you." Kate didn't even look up. Allie sighed and sat back down at the computer. She began to read over her paper again. Allie began to write again, the ideas flowing for the first time all day.

Half an hour later, Allie looked up from the screen and stretched.

"Done. Will you read it now?" Kate looked up from her work. "Sure. Print it out for me."

Allie quickly printed it out and handed it to Kate. "Jesus, how many pages is this?"

"Ten. It reads fast though."

Kate sat down on the couch with the paper and began to read.

"What the hell is this line? Sometimes living in the shadow of the Anti- Christ makes my heart cold. I feel dirty just for being associated with him when he does something twisted. Damn Allie, let's just completely rip into every area of your life here."

"Keep reading. Wait until you get to the parts about Nick." Kate looked up with surprise. She kept reading silently for a few more minutes and then gasped.

"I am going to marry a man that I love who is totally different from the man that the whole world loves and idolizes. All I want to do is run and hide from him when he is that strange man. And people wonder why I don't listen to any of his music."

"What do you think? Too harsh?" Kate shook her head. "This is incredible. You have to let Nick and your parents read this though."

"Well maybe." She turned back to the computer screen and checked her email again. Nothing from Nick, but Casey had emailed her asking if she had read the paper today. Nothing more then that. Allie was slightly confused, but decided to go get a paper later to see what Casey was talking about. Maybe Brian got arrested again or something equally as commonplace.

There was a knock on the door. "Did you lock it?" Kate shook her head.

"It's open!" Allie shouted. Cody, Twiggy, and Jeff pushed open the door and walked in. Twiggy had a pissed off look on his face.

"Have you talked to Nick Allie?" She shook her head. Jeff went over to Kate and gave her hug, whispering something to her. She gasped slightly and turned to Allie.

"I think you should call him." Twiggy sat next to her on the bed, reeking of cigarette smoke and pot. She wrinkled her nose slightly. "Why? Nick's busy."

"Because of this." He laid a paper in her lap; already open to the page he wanted her to see.

Allie gasped and reached for the phone. "Please can everyone leave? Please?"

"Of course honey. We'll be in Jeff and Cody's room." Kate, Twiggy, Cody, and Jeff left the room leaving Allie alone.

Allie held the phone in her hand and just stared at the paper. How was she going to explain this to Nick?

Chapter 30

Kevin hung his head as he walked through the crowd of people in the mall. He didn't want to be recognized by anyone as who he was. Especially since he wouldn't be known as Kevin Richardson, Backstreet Boy anymore. Britney had taken care of that one for him.

It had been almost three months since Britney had decided to ruin his life. He'd been off the tour for a little more then two months. In that time, he had managed to get absolutly nothing accomplished besides feeling sorry for himself. Well that and becoming adept at hiding.

He shook his head to clear his mind of those thought. Kevin had business to attend to and he needed to finish that. Nick's wedding was in a week. Kevin needed to go get the beads for the veil. Allie's grandmother was making the veil and ran out. Kevin had volunteered to go get them for her.

Kevin was already sick of being trapped in this life he had now. He had left the tour for a number of reasons, including his own sanity. Kevin couldn't take it anymore. After Britney's interference, the tour had become hellish for him. He had lost all joy in performing once she had turned him into such a joke.

Finally, three weeks into their American tour dates, Kevin announced that he was leaving the tour. Despite AJ's protestations and tears, he knew it was the best thing. And he hadn't stepped foot anywhere near the tour since he left.

Being away from AJ was hard, even harder then when they had been separated in November. Whenever AJ had free time, he spent it on the vid phone with Kevin.

Luna squirmed in the backpack he wore. Kevin had taken over the care of the baby to keep him occupied. She and Karen were the only thing keeping him from falling into a deep depression.

Kevin sat down for a moment and took Luna out of the backpack. She smiled and waved her hands around. Luna was ten months old now and doing great. Kevin smiled at the angelic face and gave her a kiss.

"Luna girl, let's get moving again. The longer we sit, the quicker someone will recognize us. Plus Madame Vasquez needs these beads. Come on pretty one."

Luna smiled and nodded her head at his voice. Kevin was pretty sure she didn't really know what he was saying, but she loved to be talked to.

Kevin didn't put her back in the bag, instead carrying her in his arms. He ducked into the fabric store and quickly found the beads he needed.

Juggling Luna and his wallet, he paid for them and left the store quickly, leaving the cashier whispering to her friend that he looked familiar.

Kevin was used to it now. The all-too regular 'is that?' 'yeah' 'did you hear about' that inevitably followed anyone recognizing him.

Kevin shook it off. He wasn't finished performing. He just couldn't be on this tour anymore.

Pushing his way through the crowds all around him, he left the mall and entered the warm air of Los Angeles. Tomorrow, they were all flying to New Jersey to get ready for the wedding. The day after that the tour was closing and all the members of both bands were joining them in Avalon.

Kevin slid behind the wheel of Twiggy's car after strapping Luna into the car seat next to him. He smiled at her, happy to have her next to him. He hated driving any other car other then Twiggy's when he had Luna with him. All the others had airbags so he had to have her in the back.

Kevin had been in LA for about a month now. Mikel had offered him the apartment so he could get away from all the reporters following him in Orlando.

Kevin had packed up Luna, Iya, and Brian's dog Tyke, headed for LA and a break in the stress. Iya and Millie had luckily gotten along and that relieved Mr. Stills of his tending to Millie. Kevin was growing used to the old man, enjoying his company.

Allie had successfully finished her first year of college despite all the problems she had to deal with on top of it. Her mentality now was that she could face anything God threw up against her with grace and sarcasm.

Kevin was lost in thought as he drove. He had been so wrapped up in completing Nick's wedding plans that he had let his and AJ's lapse. As soon as Nick's wedding was over, he was going to concentrate fully on his own.

"Look at that one." JC pointed at one of the signs in the crowd. Joey shook his head in disgust. Kevin had been off the tour since the end of March, but still the signs appeared in the crowd.

"Don't point them out JC. That doesn't make it any easier on AJ." Lance scolded him quietly. AJ was standing by one of the windows alone, wearing his darkest sunglasses to hide the tears they all knew were there.

AJ moved away from the window and took his seat in the studio. Howie squeezed his shoulder comfortingly, trying to let AJ know that they were there with him.

The producer clapped his hands. "Can everyone please take there seats? We're ready to start."

Brian and Nick joined Howie and AJ in the chairs. 'Nsync settled themselves on the floor around them, trying to get comfortable.

"Hey how come you guys get the chairs?" Justin whined jokingly. They had drawn straws earlier and the Backstreet Boys had won.

"Because little boy, we are a royalty and all of ya'll are the court jesters." Brian grinned at him. Justin flipped him off.

"Okay none of that or else this really won't be much fun for the fans." The producer stared them down, not understanding that they were joking.

The guys simultaneously groaned as one. Time for the lucky fans picked from the crowd on the street to join them in the studio. Where MTV came up with these shows none of them knew.

The door opened and a crowd of screaming teenagers rushed into the studio, quickly taking their seats as calmly as they could.

AJ began to shake. Howie looked at him with concern. Each publicity performance they gave recently, AJ clammed up and seemed to get a horrible case of stage fright. He would refuse to answer any questions and would mess up whenever they performed. The only time he was okay was when they were onstage. He seemed to function on auto- pilot.

"AJ, it's fine. You don't have to do anything. And this is MTV. They won't ask anything to alienate us. It'll be fine." Brian tried to reassure him. AJ nodded. "I wish Kevin were here." He whispered back to Brian.

Brian sighed. "We all wish Kevin were here."

"Get away from me!" Kevin screamed at them. AJ dropped his hand quickly and backed away. Kevin continued to shout and throw things, pitching a tantrum that surpassed anything a two-year old could come up with.

"None of those people out there want to see me. All they want to do is laugh at me and put me down for one mistake. One stupid mistake!"

AJ moved forward again. Kevin hissed at him, causing AJ to look at him in surprise. "Who cares what they want Kevin? We want you out there. We need you out there."

Howie, Nick, and Brian echoed his statement. Kevin began to cry again, slumping down to the ground. AJ didn't know whether to try to comfort him again or not.

"Kevin Scott Richardson pull yourself together. Stop letting other people control your feelings."

"Go away. Everyone go away." Kevin sobbed miserably, waving his hands at them weakly. Howie, Nick, and AJ left the room. Brian stood there.

"Kevin can we talk for a moment?" Kevin shook his head and pulled his knees to his chest. Brian sat down next to him.

"I don't care. I want you to hear what I have to say." Brian touched Kevin's shoulder, squeezing it.

"I love you Kevin. I will always love you. AJ will always love you. Tim, Jerald, May, Julia, Tommy, Leslie, Joe they will all always love you. Your mother will always love you. Just remember that the important people will never stop loving you or caring about you. Don't push us away. Please Kevin."

Kevin lifted his tear-stained face and looked at his younger cousin. "You don't know how I feel Brian. You just don't understand."

"Have you tried to tell us how you feel? Have you let any of us, including your future husband, in enough to let us know how you feel?" Brian's tone of voice was soft and loving. The last thing he wanted to do was make Kevin feel like he was being lectured.

"They call me so many names now. Just because of what Britney showed them. I was only 19. I didn't know any better." Kevin's voice was quiet, so quiet that Brian could barely hear him.

"I loved him. At least I thought I did. So I agreed to do it. He promised me no one would ever see it."

Kevin wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "What made Britney look for that? I never told anyone about that, not even AJ."

Brian rubbed Kevin's back. "I'm pretty sure she hired a private investigator to find that out."

"Does AJ hate me for what I did?" Kevin asked Brian in a shaky voice. Brian shook his head.

"No way! None of us hate you for what you did. We could never hate you. You're our brother Kevin."

Kevin closed his eyes and leaned his head back. The headache he had was steadily growing worse. When he shut his eyes, he saw brilliant bursts of colors swirling before him. Momentarily content to watch them, Kevin seemed to zone out. Brian grew worried quickly.

"Kevin? Are you okay?" Kevin didn't open his eyes as he laughed a short, bitter laugh at Brian.

"Oh I'm just peachy. A vindictive little bitch of a woman found a porno I did when I was 19 with my then current boyfriend and released it to the public. Now I am the laughing stock of the music industry. People are calling me a degenerate and a sinner. I couldn't be better."

Brian sighed softly. Kevin opened his eyes and looked at him again.

"Brian, I don't think I can do this much longer. I want to go home."

"No Kevin. Please stay. It'll get better I promise. Just hold on a little longer." Brian pleaded with him, scared to think about what would happen if Kevin left the tour. It would be disastrous for everyone, especially AJ.

Kevin's eyes filled with tears. All he wanted to do was go home and hide under the bed until this all blew over. Somehow, this was even worse then when he and AJ had been outed. At least then he could go through it with someone. He felt so alone.

Could he stand to stay on tour any longer? Not really. Could he stand to be away from AJ for so long? Not at all. He had no choice but to suffer as long as possible. It wasn't unbearable yet.

"I'll stay Brian. I'll stay." He whispered his eyes glistening with tears again. Brian hugged him tightly.

Howie hugged AJ tightly, letting him cry on his shoulder. They sat in silence in Howie's room, neither person wanting to start the so desperately needed conversation.

Finally AJ spoke up. "He can't go on like this much longer."

Howie rubbed AJ's back, knowing that AJ hadn't wanted to admit that to himself. "Kevin is strong. He's been through a lot worse. Kevin may surprise us and come out on top."

"No Howie. This time he won't. I look into his eyes and see desperation. He is scared and ready to run."

"AJ what are you going to do if Kevin leaves?"

AJ was quiet for a moment. He buried his face in Howie's shoulder again. He shook his head, his silent tears burning Howie's shoulder.

Howie hadn't seen AJ this desperate in a long time. He knew in his heart that if Kevin left, AJ would break down. He would hide it as best as possible, but he would be dead inside. Howie didn't know how Kevin had survived this so long.

Whenever Kevin sang his parts, boos were heard throughout the crowd. On many occasions, Kevin's singing had been drowned out by the boos and catcalls. Somehow Kevin struggled on, finishing every show with a smile.

"I want a drink Howie. Just one glass of Scotch and everything will be okay." AJ muttered softly, his head still buried in Howie's shoulder. Howie hugged him closely.

"That's not the answer AJ. Trust me it's not the answer."

Kevin took the exit for Marilyn's house. He felt like he was trapped. Part of him wanted to keep driving, to run away and never come back. He looked at the baby next to him. Part of Kevin wished that Luna was coming home with him after the wedding, but she was going home with her parents.

Driving down the street slowly, Kevin noticed how beautiful LA could be. He had always been anti-LA having grown up in Kentucky. Orlando was even too much of a city for him. Someday, he wanted to take AJ and move to the country. He wanted their kids to grow up in a safe environment far away from the music industry that he loved and hated at the same time.

He turned on the radio, needing some noise to keep himself from thinking too much.

"Today, teen pop star Britney Spears was arrested attempting to break into the home she used to share with Justin Timberlake of 'Nsync. Britney has had a nice run of bad luck the past few months. She was kicked off the tour in January with no warning. Her record company and management company attempted to release her, but ran into legal snags. She then began to get revenge on the other people who were on the tour, resulting in Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys leaving the tour because of the scandal she caused. Most of us who have met Britney know that she is capable of a lot, but can she even be blamed for that one John?"

"I don't think so Steve. I think Kevin made his own bed the day he made that movie. It was just a matter of time before someone found it. Personally I think Kevin reacted badly to what Britney did. I mean come on grow up Kevin. You've been through worse."

Kevin scowled and turned off the radio. He was sick of people saying that he was acting like a baby. Everyone who mattered understood why he did it. Kevin looked over at Luna.

"Britney was arrested. At least something good happened today." Luna waved her toy at him and cooed in response. He smiled. "Glad to know that you agree."

"Where is Kevin?" Howie asked Nick, his voice filled with concern. Nick shrugged, looking around for AJ as well. AJ was standing off to the side drinking a cup of coffee.

"I don't want to ask him, do you?" Howie shook his head. "Where's Brian? Maybe he knows."

"He's talking to Chris at the table." Howie pointed him out to Nick, who went over to ask.

"Excuse me guys. Brian have you seen Kevin?" Brian shook his head. "No. Did you ask AJ?" Nick shook his head.

"I don't want to. Will you?" Brian sighed. "Only because I'm worried about Kevin. Next time ask him yourself. AJ's one of your best friends. Excuse me for a moment Chris." Chris nodded and grabbed a cookie from the plate in front of him.

"AJ what's up?" Brian asked him with a smile. AJ just looked at him. "I don't know why Kevin isn't here okay. He just wouldn't leave the room."

Brian was slightly taken aback. "This is a mandatory meeting AJ. Kevin knows that. This isn't like him at all."

AJ shrugged. "Well Kevin hasn't exactly been himself lately now has he." AJ eyes were so hard, making Brian back away slightly.

"You're right AJ he hasn't. No matter how much any of us try, he just isn't himself. And he won't be until he gets away from all of this." AJ glared at him again.

"I'm not the one who convinced him to stay on the tour. I agreed with him when he said the best thing for him to do was go home."

"Sorry. I thought it would get better by now. I had no idea that people would still be talking about this and acting like Kevin is a scumbag."

"Why did you think it was going to get better? It hadn't gotten any better when he first talked about leaving which was already three weeks into this. He shouldn't have to suffer like this."

Kevin pushed the door open to the main suite. He knew he had to be at this meeting for one reason and one reason only. To tell everyone he was leaving. JC saw him as he walked in, getting up quickly to come over to him.

"Kevin. How are you?" JC threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly. Kevin half-heartedly hugged him back. JC let him go and stared into his eyes. Kevin tried to hide what he was thinking, but JC saw right through it. He nodded slowly.

"I understand Kevin. We all will understand. You have to do it." JC squeezed his hand tightly and led him into the room. AJ saw him walk in but he stayed where he was, arguing with Brian.

"Everyone shut up for a minute!" JC shouted loudly. Kevin looked at him, shocked that he was doing this. "Kevin needs to talk to us."

AJ looked away, knowing what Kevin was going to say. He knew it was coming. It had only been a matter of time before Kevin had taken enough abuse from the world. His eyes glistened with tears as his boyfriend stood awkwardly in front of the room, JC holding his hand tightly.

"Well, I need to talk to you guys about everything." Kevin stopped and looked over at AJ, knowing that he was going to protest this despite the fact he agreed that it was the best thing to do.

"I can't take this anymore. All of you know that I can't take this anymore. I'm going home tomorrow. I am getting on a plane with my stuff, with my cat and going home to hide. I'm sorry to do this to everyone, but it's for the best."

AJ's tears began to fall despite his effort to control them. He let out a loud sob causing the room's attention to shift over to him. AJ shook his head as he cried.

"No! I don't want you to go. I need you with me." He walked over to Kevin, the tears rolling down his cheeks, his eyes blazing with defiance. His voice pleaded with Kevin as his body trembled.

"AJ you know I have to do this." Kevin said softly, wiping the tears from his boyfriend's face. AJ grabbed his hands and stopped him.

"I love you."

Neither of them remembered that nine other people were in the room with them, watching as they talked. Everyone felt they were eavesdropping on a very private moment, but weren't able to get up and leave.

"I love you too. Please understand. I need to go."

"No. I won't understand. I need you with me. You are so strong Kevin. Please be strong here. Please."

Kevin shook his head, dropping his eyes from AJ's. "I don't want to perform anymore. I can't perform anymore."

"Then don't perform. Just stay on tour with me." AJ lifted Kevin's head and looked him in the eye. AJ let out another sob when he saw the stubbornness that was there. He had no way of winning this battle. He was going to lose Kevin until the end of May.

AJ turned away from Kevin. He didn't want to admit that Kevin was leaving. Accept it AJ, he told himself. It's only a few weeks. He was strong enough to get through it. They could still call each other all the time. He took a deep breath and turned back around.

"We should probably start packing your stuff. Is Iya in your room with Busta Chris?"

Chris didn't answer him for a moment, not realizing that AJ was talking to him. Nick poked him softly. "Huh, oh yeah. Last time I checked she was there."

AJ took Kevin's hand and they left the room, leaving everyone else in shock, not sure of what had just happened.

AJ would sit still while on the bus, not moving, not talking. Howie kept trying to bring him out of his stupor, force-feeding him as much as he could. Still AJ wouldn't eat. He stopped taking his medication and began to lose weight again.

All AJ wanted was a drink. He kept asking Howie for one, but Howie refused to let him have one. All alcohol was removed from the hotel rooms and the buses. Howie had someone around AJ all the time to make sure that he didn't drink.

"Why won't you let me have one Howie? All I want is one glass of scotch. Then I promise I will stop."

Howie grabbed AJ's face and held it in his hands, forcing him to look Howie in the eye.

"Alexander you are an alcoholic. If you had a glass of scotch, you wouldn't be able to stop. I made a promise to you that I wouldn't let you slip no matter how bad things got. This is pretty bad, but I still would never be able to forgive myself for assisting you in breaking your sobriety."

AJ began to cry again. "He's not here. He's not here Howie. He promised he would never leave me again. He promised."

Howie pulled AJ into a hug, letting him cry on him yet again. Brian walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He was fuming mad at AJ right now.

All AJ did was whine and cry about how Kevin had left. But he talked to him everyday, often more then once. No one seemed to notice that Brian hadn't seen Shelley in months. The only person who would even listen when he was upset was Chris.

These were his so-called brothers and they didn't care to help him. But when AJ is upset watch out! Everyone flocks to him to comfort him. Brian wished he could act like AJ. Cry and whine. Turn into a zombie whenever he had the chance. But he couldn't. Brian couldn't act like that no matter how much he was hurting.

Brian thought about his girlfriend with regret. He loved her with all of his heart, but it hurt so much to know that she couldn't ever get away to talk to him for more then five minutes. Brian had never been the one on this end of the relationship, the one who was neglected. Usually he ended up being the one doing the neglecting, not by choice, but by profession.

He slammed the door to his bunk behind him, causing Chris to jump up in shock. Chris was about to say something, but he saw the look on Brian's face and thought better of it. He had seen that look before. It was Brian's pissed off/upset/ready to cry look. And he knew that Brian didn't want to talk right then.

The lights came on and the cameraman signaled that they were on. The crowd began to scream and shout. AJ took a deep breath and put on a small smile.

"Welcome to Music First, the show where the musicians tell you about the music. Today we have the two of the hottest bands of the past few years who are also on the hottest ticket of the spring, The Backstreet Boys and 'Nsync. Welcome guys."

"Thanks for having us Chloe. We're all happy to be here." Brian flashed his perfect smile at her. The other guys waved to the crowd, causing them to scream even more.

"I want to start off by saying good luck to Nick. It's one week and counting isn't it?"

Nick leaned forward and smiled. "Yup one more week."

Chloe smiled, slightly annoyed that Nick had let that one drop so quickly. These guys could be so annoying sometimes. She had been warned not to try to engage AJ or bring up the issue of why Kevin was gone. Plus 'Nsync had requested that no questions be asked about Britney to anyone.

"The last show of the tour is tomorrow night. Do you have anything special planned, like the return of Kevin?" Chloe asked them as innocently as possible. AJ got out of his chair, pulled his mike off and walked out. "AJ wait!" Nick called after him, pulling his own mike off and following him. Brian and Howie exchanged glances and quickly followed the other two, leaving 'Nsync alone onstage.

"The show is going to be the same as all the others." Lance answered part of the question, purposely ignoring the Kevin part of the question. "I would suggest that we go to commercial now." Lance's voice was firm as he stood up and began removing his mike. In a show of solidarity, the other four members of 'Nsync did the same and together they walked offstage.

Chloe had no clue what had happened. It was an innocent question, but in her heart she knew that she had just killed her career. Chloe sat in silence as the crowd was led out.

"They're not coming back are they?" She asked no one in particular. The stage lights were shut off. Chloe began to cry softly. One of the cameraman walked over to her.

"Chloe, come on. Mr. Simons wants to talk to you." Chloe gulped visibly. Mr. Simons was the head of programming for MTV and he had never, ever requested to see her before. In fact, Chloe had never met him before.

AJ leaned against the toilet, pressing his face into the cold tile. Nick stood behind him, rubbing his back softly. Howie and Brian stood behind them uneasily. AJ retched again, dry heaving violently into the toilet.

"It's okay AJ. Get it up." Nick's voice was soothing and calm. Brian bit his nails, trying to keep his own vomit down. He had always been a sympathetic vomiter.

"Now what?" Howie asked him softly. Brian shrugged. Nick turned to look at them. "Now we go back to the hotel and let AJ take a nap for the show tonight. We get through tonight and then tomorrow it's all over."

"We're not going to finish the show?" Brian asked questioningly. "No we're not. None of us wanted to do this anyway." Nick stood up and got a cold towel for AJ, taking control of the situation.

Since Kevin had left, Nick had been slowly taking over the bands business. Brian had willingly let him take as much as he wanted, not really being able to handle it without Kevin there to help him.

Nick lifted AJ's head and wiped his face off. AJ smiled weakly and sat back. "Can we go home yet?" His voice was shaky and quiet.

"In a few days Alex. Right now we are going to go back to the hotel and take a nap. Can you stand up?"

AJ nodded and got to his feet. Nick put his arm around AJ's waist and slipped the sunglasses back on for him. The four of them left the bathroom almost bumping into 'Nsync as they did.

"Why aren't you guys doing the show?" Brian asked them, surprised to see them standing there.

"After the four of you left, I answered part of the question and suggested they go to commercial. Then we all left. I think they figured out that none of us were coming back. She broke the rules. We are all in this together." Lance smiled at AJ, who barely nodded to him in response.

Kevin unstrapped Luna and carried her into the house. Unlocking the door, he walked inside.

"Hello? Is anyone home?" Kevin shouted loudly. "We're out back Kevin!" Allie shouted back to him. He headed out back, tickling the baby on the way.

"I got the beads."

Lucia stood up and took them from him. "Thanks so much Kevin. I'm going to get back to work on the veil. Allie dear, would you please get out of the sun? Your going to burn and you don't want to be burned for the wedding."

Allie rolled her eyes but she got out of the lounge chair anyway. "Kevin, Brian wanted me to tell you that they are in the studio if you want to join them. He said the offer to play piano is still open for whenever you want to do it."

"Thanks Allie. I'll think about it."

Allie watched as Kevin walked away, wishing she could make him feel better. He would ignore people for hours and then suddenly jump into the conversation and seem fine. Marilyn had been trying to get him to at least join the guys in the studio so he would get back into the music at least a little. Plus Marilyn wanted to capitalize on Kevin's piano playing skills.

Allie slipped her robe over her shoulders and followed Kevin into the house.

"Kevin, wait up!"

Kevin turned to face the young woman. He watched as she shut the door behind her, moving with an elegant grace that he had never noticed before. Allie's waist length black hair was held back in a tight braid, swinging as she moved. Her pale skin glowed in the soft light, accentuated by the black bikini she wore. Kevin couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you are beautiful Allison?" Kevin said to her when she reached him. Allie was slightly taken aback.

"Thank you Kevin. You're not so bad yourself." She grinned at him and grabbed Luna out of his arms. Allie held the baby over her head, making silly faces at her. Luna giggled happily. Allie plopped Luna onto her hip and began to walk to the kitchen.

"Coming Kev?"

"Where are we going?"

"Well first we are going to get some lunch, then you, me, and Luna are going to go to the florist to make sure everything is ready to be shipped for the wedding. Then we have one more fitting for the dress, which shouldn't take that long. And after that, we are going to go out and have fun tonight Kevin."

Kevin sighed heavily. He knew what she was trying to do and though he appreciated the effort, he really didn't want to do it.

"I have to take care of Luna tonight." It was a lame excuse, but he threw it out there.

"No, Kev. Gram said she would take her tonight. Even she recognizes that you are in great need of some fun. Kevin it's our last night in LA. And I know you haven't done anything fun the whole time you were here."

Kevin looked at her indignantly. "I've done fun things."

Allie pulled out the lunchmeat and cheese from the fridge. "Like what Kevin?"

Kevin began to make himself a sandwich while Allie gave Luna a bottle. "I read a lot. That's fun. And Brian and the guys dragged me to a party at Trent's a few weeks ago."

Allie rolled her eyes. "I heard about that 'party' Kevin. You got there, had one drink, and then disappeared. Mr. Stills said you were back by 9 to get Luna from him."

Kevin finished making his sandwich and started on one for her. Allie took out a small jar of food for Luna and began to feed her that since she had turned her nose up at the bottle.

"Allie, I'm just not up for this. All I want to do is hide. Can't you just accept that?"

"No I can't. You aren't the only one Britney fucked with remember. She tried to convince the world that I was a whore, cheating on my fiancé with one his best friends. She tried to break up Joey and JC. And she fucked with Casey. I bet you didn't know about that one."

Kevin looked at her with confusion written on his face.

"I can tell you didn't. Casey didn't want me to tell anyone. Justin knows though. Britney came to visit her. And while she was there, Britney proceeded to destroy three sculptures that Casey needed to hand in for her finals that week. Then Britney threatened her and told her if she ever came near Justin again more then just her artwork was going to be destroyed. At least Britney didn't threaten your life Kevin."

"What did Casey do?" Kevin handed her a sandwich. Allie took a bite before answering.

"The only thing she could do. She re-did those sculptures as best as possible, staying awake for four days to finish them. Then she called Justin to tell him what happened. After she handed them in, she got royally drunk and finally went to sleep."

Kevin chewed his sandwich in silence. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"I'm didn't tell you what happened to get an apology. I just want you to realize that you aren't the only person who got fucked by Britney. Everyone else moved on with his or her lives. You are the only person still crying why me. Do you have any idea how that's affecting the people you love?"

Kevin didn't answer her.

"Nick tells me how AJ is since AJ doesn't tell you the whole truth. Did you know that AJ can't handle doing any interviews or any small performances? He chokes up and can't go on. He spends all his time alone, trying to hide from everyone. It's all the guys can do to get him to eat. Does he tell you any of this Kevin?"

Kevin shook his head slowly, realizing that he had been selfish.

"I keep telling Nick that he needs to tell you about those things Kevin, but he insists that AJ doesn't want you to know. Out of curiosity Kevin, have you watched any of their interviews lately?"

Kevin nodded. "AJ doesn't say anything and he sits in the back with his darkest sunglasses on."

"So you have been watching. Why do you think he does that?"

Kevin shrugged his shoulders. "The other guys can take care of it."

"But AJ loves being the one talking and you know that as well as I do. AJ doesn't want to open his mouth for fear that he will throw-up from stage fright. Now has AJ ever gotten stage fright before Kevin?"

"No he hasn't."

"Kevin all AJ has done is been as supportive as possible the past few months. What have you given him back? Poor me. My life is so terrible. Britney did this to me. Have you once asked AJ how he is doing?"

Kevin was silent. Allie wiped off Luna's face with her bib.

"I'm going to take that as a no. I want you to do something for me Kevin. Before you see AJ in a few days how about breaking out of this funk and returning to the land of the living? Do it for him."

Kevin walked over to the fridge and pulled out a can of soda. He quickly checked it over, searching for signs of tampering out of habit.

"Kevin you don't have to check. Twiggy doesn't live here anymore remember."

Kevin nodded and opened the soda. He thought to himself as Allie took care of Luna. Kevin had been a little too preoccupied with himself and what had happened to him, never thinking about the effect that him leaving had on anyone else.

AJ had looked a little drawn and tired whenever they talked on the vid phone. Kevin had just chalked it up to the pressures of touring. And AJ had never really said anything whenever Kevin began his 'poor me' tirade. He had listened, but he had seemed a little withdrawn whenever Kevin started it.

What could he do to return to the land of the living? Without really thinking to hard he knew the answer. He had to get back to music. If he could do that, then everything would be fine. Brian's offer rang through his head. Maybe he should head down to the studio and play a little piano for the guys.

"Allie how did you get past it?" She sighed heavily and sat down on the counter.

"I don't know if I really have gotten past it completely. Just like you, it was an issue of betrayal. I felt betrayed by someone I didn't even know. Kevin I know that Nick and I never showed to the world how much that hurt us, but it rocked our relationship greatly. When he flew back from Europe and came here, we locked ourselves in a hotel room and fought. He yelled at me. I yelled at him. He blamed Twiggy. He blamed me. I blamed the only person I could blame, Britney. I threw the ring at him and told him that if he didn't trust me, he would never marry me."

Kevin looked at her in shock. "You broke off the engagement?"

Allie nodded. "For like three hours, but I still did. Nick and I sat down right after I threw the ring and talked for real. No screaming, no fighting, no blaming. We got through it the only way we could, together. He promised that he would never question me again involving my faithfulness. And I promised not to let my guard down like that again. It scares me that I can't walk down the street, holding the arm of one of my best friends just because someone might be watching me, ready to take a picture to hurt me. I never asked for that when I agreed to marry Nick. I've had some really long conversations with my dad about that since he had to learn how to deal with all the people watching him once they knew he was dating Brian. Neither of us knew what we were getting into when we said I love you, but we are learning quickly. I just take that part of my life one day at a time."

She was quiet for a moment, wondering whether or not she should continue on. She had gone this far, she might as well tell Kevin it all. She trusted him.

"The worst thing that happened after Britney had those pictures published was in my Examination of Life class. It was only about 15 people in that class. I walked in, took my seat and everyone stared at me. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Anything so they would stop staring at me. My friend Cody was in that class with me. He stood up and told all of them that instead of believing everything they see in a paper to believe what they knew about the person. So many faces turned red and quickly stopped staring. I owe Cody so much just because he did that for me."

Kevin knew what she was saying. He had felt that same way so many times before. When all he wanted to do was run and hide, to stop everyone from staring at him. He realized that if Allie could get past it, he knew he could.

"Allie, can you do that stuff by yourself?"

"Kevin, I don't want you to sit at home by yourself. You have to come with me."

"I think I am going to go to the studio for a few hours. See if Brian still wants my help."

A huge grin broke across Allie's face. "In that case, Luna and I will be fine on our own." She walked over to where Kevin was standing.

"This is a good step Kevin. I know you can do this for all of us." She hugged him tightly, resting her head on his chest. Kevin hugged the tiny girl back just as tightly, thanking her silently for showing him what he had to do.

"When did you get so knowledgeable Allie?" She released him and went back over to Luna.

"I haven't exactly had the most normal of lives. I love my dad and he did the best he could, but I spent a lot of time taking care of myself and actually being the adult in the relationship. Especially since he started dating Brian. The two of them are just big kids and someone had to be in charge. I guess I have just learned how to keep other people happy at the expense of myself."

She smiled down at Luna. "I don't mind anymore. The last few years have been really fun. And I know if my life hadn't been the way it was, I never would have met Nick. Having Nick makes everything worthwhile."

Kevin watched the young woman. At 18, she seemed to have more maturity then he did at 30. Maybe that was why she and Nick got along so well. Both of them grew up in strange circumstances forced to be adults long before they should have. At least Nick still retained some childish characteristics, like the Nintendo. Sometimes Kevin had to remind himself that Allie was just a kid, not someone who was the same age as him.

"You are really an extraordinary person Allie."

"No Kevin. I'm just myself. Anyone could have done what I did to survive."

Kevin knew that she was wrong. Not everyone could have risen to the challenges, especially of the last year. Starting college, planning a wedding, running a household from afar, watching as her father got married without her, and dealing with a scandal in which she was the whore. Not everyone could have done that and still come out on top like she did.

Allie lifted Luna out of her high chair. She cuddled with her for a moment and then quickly burped the baby. Kevin had been amazed at how quickly Luna and Allie took to each other. The two of them got along great. Kevin knew Allie was a natural mother.

"Do you want me to call Brian and tell him your coming down to the studio? He can be a little pissy if people just walk in during rehearsals."

Kevin took Luna from her, kissing the baby softly. "Be a good girl for Aunt Allison okay. I'll see you in a few hours." He handed her back to Allie. "I'll call him. Unless you think he would get mad if I called."

Allie shook her head. "He won't get mad as long as you call." Kevin smiled and hit the intercom button to the studio. He waited a moment and buzzed again.

"What!?!" Marilyn's angry voice boomed through the kitchen. Kevin took it in stride.

"I hear you are looking for a piano player. I just happen to know one that's free at the moment."

"Kev is that you?" Marilyn sounded confused, still not totally back from where he had been lost in the music.

"Yeah. So do you want me or not?"

"Kevin, I'm married now."

"Oh shut up bitch. You know what I meant." Kevin laughed at him. Marilyn's heart soared at the sound of Kevin's laughter. It had been too long since he had heard that sweet sound coming from him. It had been even longer since he had joked with him about anything.

"Of course we want you. Come on down. Hey guys! Kevin's going to join us on piano."

Kevin could hear Twiggy shout Woohoo in the background. He smiled at the sound.

"I'll be down in a few minutes." Marilyn disconnected the call from his end. Kevin turned back to Allie and Luna.

"I guess I'll see you later. If anything happens that you need me for just call. I'll be right there." He gave her a big hug.

"Don't worry so much Kev. Me and Luna can handle anything."

"Thanks Allie. I owe you one." She grinned at him. "Just make sure Twiggy isn't stoned at the wedding. That's all I ask."

"You got it babe." Kevin left the kitchen and headed down the hall into the studio.

Allie tickled Luna. "Let's go call Nick and let him know what's up. He's going to be thrilled to hear this."

Allie carried the baby into her bedroom, sitting her down on the bed. She picked up the headset and dialed Nick's cell number.

"Nick Carter speaking."

"Hey baby. I love it when you sound all stern and business-like. It's quite a turn on."

Nick grinned at the sound of her voice. The other guys knew exactly who is was the minute the smile broke out.

"Hey yourself. How's life in warm LA?"

"Eventful. I'm actually calling with good news."

"Really? I'm intrigued now. Do tell."

"We had a breakthrough today. Kevin and I had a long talk and guess what he is doing right now?"

"What?"

"No come on guess. It's more fun this way."

Nick groaned. "Fine. Is he swimming?"

"No. Try again."

"Out shopping?"

"No. Your bad at this. I'll just tell you. He's down in the studio with the guys playing piano for them."

"No way! You got him in the studio. That's fantastic."

AJ looked up excitedly. He poked Nick in the side. "Kevin's in the studio? You mean she actually got him to do something involving music?" Nick nodded to him. AJ's face broke out into a huge smile. Everyone was relieved to see it. AJ hadn't smiled for real in a long time.

"I thought I would call and tell you the good news. Maybe it'll make today's interview go a little smoother for AJ."

Nick sighed. "Actually it's a little late for that. The interview is already over. We all walked out when she asked a question about Kevin."

"Was AJ okay?"

"Not really. He threw up for a bit afterwards and Lance ended the interview rather quickly. We're actually in the limo heading back to the hotel."

"God I'm sorry. Should I tell Kevin that happened or is this another little secret?"

"I think this is another little secret for now. I'm sure word will get out that we walked off the set. But until then, don't say anything to Kevin."

"You got it. Well Luna and I are heading out to check on some things and then I have a fitting in about two hours. Give the guys my love. I'll see you all in a few days. I love you Nicky."

"I love you too Allie-baba. Bye."

Nick hung up the phone and turned back to the rest of the guys. "Well, it looks like Kevin is at least attempting to return to the land of the living. He's in the studio with Marilyn and the rest of the band."

AJ hugged Nick. "Finally. That's so great to hear. So who's hungry? I'm starving." AJ began to rummage through the cabinet looking for something.

Howie, Brian, and Nick exchanged surprised glances. Nick looked out the window, seeing a familiar sign.

"Driver, can you please pull into that McDonalds please? We're hungry."

The limo driver quickly cut across traffic and pulled into the parking lot. "Mr. Carter are we going to the drive thru or are you going to go in?"

Nick looked around at the other three guys. He put a baseball cap on to hide his hair. "We're going in. Come on guys."

Chapter 31

"Come here Allie." Mikel hugged his daughter tightly as she sobbed loudly. Kevin held Luna and just watched as the two of them hugged.

"Everything is fine. Their plane is just delayed. There's no reason to break down and cry like this. You can't control this." Mikel's voice was soothing and calmed her down.

Marilyn put his arm around Kevin's shoulder. "I'm going to go make sure all the stuff is ready for when they get here. You want to come with?"

"Nah. I'll wait here. I want to be hear when the plane gets in."

Marilyn nodded. He sniffed and wiped his nose. "I understand. Twiggy come with me." Twiggy rolled his eyes, but followed him anyway.

Twiggy and Marilyn had never really disclosed to anyone the real reason why Twiggy ran away and hid out at Allie's for a while. And he never told them why he decided to move out. Kevin had kept himself from asking even though he was curious. If they wanted him to know, they would have told him. Kevin turned his attention back to Mikel and Allie.

Mikel rubbed Allie's back softly. "Sweetie it's not the end of the world. Why don't you give Nick a call? I'm sure he will be happy to hear from you."

Allie nodded, wiping the tears from her face. She took her father's phone and went to the other side of the room for some privacy.

"You look exhausted Mikel." Kevin sat down next to him, bouncing Luna on his knee as they talked.

"I am. I love my parents dearly, but I can't take much more of this. I can't wait until this wedding is over and I get to go home to peace and quiet."

"Peace and quiet. Your house is never peaceful and quiet."

"True, but it's a lot more relaxing without my mother there breathing down my neck about everything."

Kevin nodded. Mikel watched the handsome man next to him for a moment. Kevin's eyes looked alive again for the first time in months. Marilyn had been so excited the other night in bed while he told Mikel about Kevin joining them in the studio.

Mikel had trouble getting jealous where Kevin was concerned. Marilyn still loved him. He had even admitted that much, but he loved him as a friend. And he had been so concerned about his friend the past month since Kevin had joined them in LA.

"Are you excited about seeing everyone Kevin?"

Kevin nodded, a grin breaking across his face. "I've missed the guys so much the past months. Especially AJ. I'm never letting him go again, no matter how bad the situation is."

"I was talking to Paul the other day and he said the Britney was in big trouble this time. When she was caught breaking in, they also managed to catch her on a few other charges. I don't think she is going to be much of a problem for a while."

"I'll believe that when I see it. Britney has a tendency to surprise."

Mikel was quiet for a moment. "Kevin, do you regret making that video?"

"Of course I do. Number one, when I made it I thought I was in love. I thought we both were in love. Number two, I was promised that the video would either be destroyed or he would never give it up. Britney must have offered quite a lot of money for it. And number three, how did she even find out about it is my big question. No one besides me, him, and the guy who did the taping knew about it."

"Paul said that one of his PI's was approached by her months ago about digging up dirt on everyone. He turned down the job, knowing it would eventually be a conflict of interest if he continued to work for Paul as well."

"Why would it have been a conflict of interest?" Kevin was confused, but he wanted to know everything.

"Because eventually, the PI would have dug up your relationship with Marilyn. One rule that Paul has it that I am off limits. And by association Marilyn and anyone associated with Marilyn is off limits. So he would have dug that up, found it led back to me, and he would have been fired."

"But why didn't he dig until then? No one really knows about me and Marilyn."

"Paul does and when the PI approached him about it, he told him to back off and say no to the job. Everyone who works for him that wants to take outside jobs has to clear it through him."

"Oh. Remind me not to cross your ex. He sounds a little scary."

Mikel grinned. "He's actually a pretty nice guy who happens to control a lot of Hollywood without people knowing."

"What did he do when you started dating Marilyn?"

"Oh he threatened him. Told him if he ever mistreated me he would find himself in a ditch in the middle of nowhere. Marilyn told him to fuck off, therefore endearing himself to Paul forever. They get along great now."

Allie came running over, holding the phone. "They're landing now! Come on, we have to get to the gate." She pulled her father up and dragged him away.

"Allison calm down. They're landing in the private hanger. That's right here. We don't have to go anywhere."

Allie grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm really excited to see Nicky."

The three of them stood by the big window and watched as the private jet carrying the Backstreet Boys and 'Nsync landed. Allie was practically jumping with excitement as the doors opened and the guys got out.

Nick ran up the ramp, carrying his backpack. Allie saw him coming and ran down to meet him. The two of them jumped at each other, hugging tightly. Nick swung Allie around, kissing her softly.

Howie and Ameena were the next out. They made a beeline for Kevin and their daughter. Howie gave Kevin a hug as Ameena hugged Luna tightly.

"God Kevin, she looks great. Thank you so much." The two of them took their daughter aside to be alone with her. Kevin stood back with Mikel as the plane emptied.

Brian, Chris, and Justin were the next people off. Lance, Jean-Michel, Joey and JC followed them closely. Kevin was growing nervous as he waited with barely tempered anticipation for AJ to step off the plane.

AJ looked around to make sure he had gotten everything he had taken with him. He couldn't wait to see Kevin. Grabbing his bag, he ran off the plane and up the ramp.

Looking around, he finally spotted Kevin, talking with Brian. Putting his finger to his lips, he motioned for Brian to maneuver Kevin so he couldn't see him coming. Brian turned Kevin away from the plane, whispering something in his ear.

AJ walked up behind him and slid his hands down Kevin's chest. Brushing his lips against Kevin's ear, he whispered softly to him.

"I love you Boo."

Kevin's heart swelled when he felt AJ touch him. He spun around, pulling AJ close in a tight hug. AJ buried his face in Kevin's shoulder, unable to prevent the tears from flowing. Kevin was unabashedly crying himself.

"Oh Alex. I love you too."

Mikel walked over to the door to the adjoining room. They had arranged two more surprises, one for Chris and one for Brian. Danielle and Shelley were chasing after the twins in the other room.

Mikel shut the door behind him. Dani caught Kira and turned to look at him. "Are they here?" She asked excitedly.

Mikel nodded. Shelley finally caught Haley when she had fallen after bumping into a chair. Haley just laughed and squirmed in her arms.

"You guys want to go see Daddy?" Dani asked the girls in a happy voice. They both nodded happily. "Are you going to show Daddy how you both can walk like big girls?" They nodded again happily.

"Okay, follow me." She put Kira down and Shelley put Haley down. The girls followed her obediently into the other room. Chris was talking to Lance about something and didn't see them enter.

"Go get daddy." Dani whispered to the girls. They toddled off as fast as their chubby little legs would carry them.

"Da! Da!" Kira shouted loudly when she got over to him. Chris looked down and immediately fell to the ground, hugging both girls to him. He looked up to see Dani standing there with a smile.

"You weren't supposed to get here for another 2 days." He pulled her down to the ground with him, kissing her as he continued to hug the girls. Dani smiled at him. "Surprise."

"It is quite a surprise isn't it Brian?" Shelley said to him. He jumped and turned around, his eyes growing wide. Brian hugged her tightly.

"Oh Shelley." Brian whispered softly. That was all he could get out. He was all choked up with emotion. He was thrilled to see her, but he was also hurt from the lack of interest on her end the past few months. Brian cried softly, part tears of joy, but also partly tears of fear.

Mikel stood aside, not really knowing a lot of these guys. Marilyn came up behind him and put his arms around him. Justin walked over to him.

"Mr. Manson?" Mikel and Marilyn both turned to look at him. "Yes?" Marilyn asked him rudely. "Actually I wanted to talk to the other Mr. Manson." Justin voice shook, frightened by Marilyn.

Mikel slapped Marilyn lightly. "Be nice honey. Call me Mikel. And you are?"

"I'm Justin Timberlake. It's great to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you from Nick and Casey."

Mikel shook his hand. "You must be the one dating Casey then. It's nice to finally meet you too. I'm sorry Casey isn't here. She got the job of picking up the dresses with the other bridesmaids."

"I'll see her soon enough. Did you arrange for Dani and the girls to be here?"

Mikel nodded.

"You just made Chris' day. He's been so upset about being away from them. They're all he's talked about the past week. He was so excited about getting to see them."

"It was really Kevin's idea. He wanted everyone to get to see the ones they love. He's been a changed man the last three days."

Justin nodded. "Nick told us that he went into the studio the other day. That was a huge breakthrough. He didn't want anything to do with music for so long."

Mikel checked his watch real quick. "Can you excuse me for a moment Justin? It's time to herd the natives to the cars."

Mikel climbed up on a chair and let out a loud whistle. All eyes turned to him. Kira and Haley began to clap.

"Okay, its time to head out to the waiting cars. I'm driving one, Kevin is driving one, and Marilyn is driving the last one. Six people fit in each car. The kids get someone's lap. Okay everyone pick whom your going with."

Lance put his hand up. "What about the luggage and the bodyguards?"

"Already taken care of. I have a van waiting. Twiggy drew the short straw so he is driving that one."

"One more question. No one told us where we were staying. Should I go make reservations for us?"

Mikel laughed. "No way. You wouldn't be able to find a room anyway. The whole area is booked up for the wedding."

"Where are we staying then?" Lance was starting to get annoyed with Mikel.

"You guys are staying at my parent's beach house with the wedding party. It seemed like the best thing to do since a bunch of you are in the wedding party. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah that's fine. I just wanted to know."

Mikel hopped down and walked over to Lance. "I don't want to seem rude or anything, but which one are you?"

Lance was taken aback by the question. "What do you mean which one am I? I'm Lance."

"Hey don't get snippy with me. I'm not exactly a fan of your music. And since I've never met you guys before, I wouldn't know who you are."

Lance nodded curtly and walked away from Mikel. "What crawled up his ass and died?" Mikel asked Jean-Michel.

"James is just tired. It has been a little crazy on tour and all he wants to do is rest. Surely you can understand that." Mikel nodded.

"Yeah, Brian gets the same way. I'm Mikel by the way. Which one are you?"

Jean-Michel smiled. "I am Jean-Michel Garvonne. I handle 'Nsync and the Backstreet Boys websites. I am also, unfortunately, still Britney Spears' manager."

"I'm sorry. How come you are with these guys and not with the crew?"

"That was my boyfriend you just pissed off."

Mikel turned bright red. "Oh jeez. Sorry about that. Damn, I'm really good at sticking my foot up my ass. Want to start over?"

Jean-Michel laughed. "You did not do anything wrong with me. It is James you have to try to start over with. Good luck. He can be quite a tough cookie to break. But you have my vote, so I will do my best to sway him."

"Thanks Jean. Is it cool if I call you Jean?"

"Most people do. Jean-Michel is quite formal. I will answer to almost anything though. Just please do not call me Mr. Garvonne. I hate that."

"Now before I do anything else really stupid, how about letting me in on the names of the others? I met Justin and I kind of guessed who Chris was. Where are Joey and JC? Is that their names?"

Jean nodded. He pointed out Joey and JC, who were kissing quietly in the corner. "They would be the lip locked ones over there. You will usually find them doing something along those lines."

Mikel nodded. "How long have they been together?"

"Only since January. Still in the cute phase. So we let them go."

"One thing, since I am also trying to keep press interference down, do people know about them?"

"Non. They are still a mystery couple. But it is not important to shield them. They are aware that eventually it will be found out. Do not go out of your way."

"Cool. Well I'm going to go grab my group of riders and head out. You guys going with Marilyn or Kevin?"

"Actually I believe are with you."

"Oh great. Maybe I can get Lance to like me. I feel bad about that one."

Kevin put his arm around AJ, pulling him towards him. AJ rested his head against Kevin's chest. They sat in the sand together, watching the waves break in front of them. This was the first time the two of them had gotten time alone since everyone had flown in earlier that day.

AJ wanted to tell Kevin how much he was hurt, but right now, all that pain flew out the window as Kevin held him.

"I'm sorry AJ. I acted like such a selfish bastard the past few months."

AJ moved away from Kevin, so he could look at him while they talked. He sat in front of Kevin with his legs crossed. Since Kevin started it, he was going to tell Kevin exactly how he felt.

"You're right. You acted like a selfish bastard. What happened to I'll never leave you again. I promise AJ."

Kevin hung his head. "I couldn't go on any longer. It was too much for me to handle."

"When you left, did you think about what it would do to the rest of us? How we would have to work twice as hard to make up for you not being there? How we would have to beg management not to replace you with one of the members of 'Nsync? We had to constantly reassure them that the show would be just as good with just the four of us. And do you have any idea what it did to me to see people holding signs up with your name on them? To know that you weren't there with me? To have to come up with answers to the question: did you know about the video? And what do you think about what Kevin did?"

Kevin ran his hands through his hair, getting frustrated. "No, I didn't think about that okay. I just wanted to run."

AJ crossed his arms and stared at him. "Next time think about the larger picture. You are a member of a group and your actions affect four other people as well. Including me, the man you are going to marry."

Kevin looked at AJ, seeing for the first time how hurt AJ was. The moonlight glinted off AJ's platinum hair, creating a halo around his head.

"Why didn't you tell me all this earlier?"

"What difference would it have made? You wouldn't have changed your mind."

Kevin rested his head in AJ's lap and wrapped his arms around his leg. Aj began to run his fingers through Kevin's soft hair. "But I would have known and that would have made a big difference in my attitude towards you and everyone else."

"You still wouldn't have come back to me."

"AJ, I didn't leave you. I left the tour. I was with you in my heart every single day we were apart."

"I don't see much of a difference. By leaving the tour, you left me."

"No, if I had left you too I never would have made any effort to talk to you and to keep in touch. To tell you that I loved you. I wasn't there physically that's true. But I was there with you mentally."

AJ was quiet. "That wasn't enough Kevin. I needed you there with me physically."

"I'll never leave you again, I promise."

AJ almost wanted to laugh. He had heard that promise before and Kevin had broken it. He knew what a promise from Kevin was like.

"Don't promise something you can't keep Kevin. You've promised that before and you've broken that before."

Kevin sat back up and looked at him. "Then what can I do to show you how sorry I am?"

"You don't have to show me how sorry you are. I know how sorry you are."

"Then what do you want from me AJ?"

AJ looked at him in shock. "What do I want from you Kevin? I don't want anything from you. We can't erase these past few months. They happened and that's not going to change!"

AJ stood up and walked away from Kevin, tears streaming down his face. Could the man he loved really be that blind? Kevin jumped up and followed AJ down the beach, not catching up to him, just walking behind him.

"Stop following me! I don't need you anymore!"

"But I need you AJ! Please, let's just sit and talk about this."

"No Kevin! We've talked enough. You obviously don't know me if you think you can just placate me with words."

"I'm not trying to placate you AJ. I'm trying to talk to you. I thought you wanted me to do this. Isn't this what all that damn therapy was about? So I would talk to you and not bottle things up inside?"

AJ whirled around. "Don't throw the therapy in my face. You know damn well why we went through that."

"Then please, please tell me what I am supposed to be saying right now to make you understand me, because I obviously have no clue what that is!"

They stood inches apart, glaring into each others eyes.

"Fine. Tell me that you will try your best to think about the consequences for everyone, not just yourself. And tell me that you love and will never be so thoughtless about my feelings again."

"Alexander James McLean, I love you with all my heart and soul. It's true that I thought very little about the consequences of my actions and how they would hurt the people I love. I'm sorry. I was confronted with something I didn't know how to handle. The only way I could fathom saving myself was to run. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, but looking back at everything that happened, I still would have done it again. I just would have tried a lot harder to think about what everyone else was feeling, especially you."

Kevin reached up and wiped the tears from AJ's face gently. AJ leaned into Kevin's hands, allowing Kevin to cradle his face. Kevin leaned in and kissed him softly.

"Forgive me?"

AJ shook his head. "No, but I will still love you. I have one more question though."

"Ask me anything." Kevin rested his head on AJ's shoulder, letting his arms wrap around AJ's chest.

"Why didn't you tell me about the video?" Kevin tensed up noticably. AJ rubbed his back.

"I was embarrassed mostly. Part of me still can't believe I did that. After I did it, I remember how dirty I felt. I begged him never to show anyone, to keep that for himself only. And he promised he would. That's also why I never said anything. I believed him. I trusted his word. I saw no need to tell anyone about something that would never come to light. Little did I know that Britney was going to come into my life and find that."

"Did you ever find out how she found out?"

Kevin nodded. "After talking to Mikel today, I placed a call to his ex Paul, who basically controls Hollywood. That's how Mikel put it. Apparently Britney came to one of his guys way back in October, looking for someone to find all of our dirty little secrets. Paul had the guy refuse and Britney left. She came back in February, this time she went to Paul himself. She told him that she made the job easier and all he had to do was find someone for her. She showed him my journal in which I had mentioned something about the video and who it was with. Paul refused again, dismissing her. He thought nothing of it until he saw it on the news. He also told me that he is the reason she is in jail right now. Mikel asked him to have someone follow Britney to make sure she didn't hurt anyone else."

"When did she get your journal?"

"Apparently the same night she got that book. Paul found it in her apartment when he had a few of his guys do a little search and seizure. Illegally of course. He said the book would be waiting for us in Orlando."

AJ shuddered. "This guy sounds a little scary. I don't think I would want to get on his bad side."

Kevin sat back down on the sand, motioning for AJ to join him. AJ pushed him backwards and laid down with his head on Kevin's chest. The two of them curled up in the sand together, watching the waves and talking about what they had done while seperated.

Kevin looked down at his fiance, sleeping comfortably on the beach with him. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of AJ in his arms. Opening his eyes again, he looked up at the sky.

"Please God, don't let me screw this up again. This may be my last chance. I don't know what I would do if I lost AJ forever. I love him so much."

"Take good care of him got it Kevin. He better be okay tomorrow morning." Allie gave Kevin a peck on the cheek.

"Allie, you have my word that Nick will be okay for the wedding. Don't you trust me."

"I trust you. I don't trust the rest of these jokers. Especially my parents. Who knows what Marilyn might do to Nick if given the chance?"

Marilyn looked over at her with an innocent look. "What would I do honey? I already promised your father I would be nice to Nicky." He grinned evilly.

Allie groaned. "That's exactly what I am worried about. You being nice to Nick." She hugged Marilyn, the two of them laughing.

"Good bye Allison." Kevin led her out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Nick sat in a chair in the center of the room, surrounded by all the men in his life.

Aaron stepped forward and stood before Nick.

"Nicky tomorrow you are going to say goodbye to your life as you know it. So tonight we are going to take you out and show you what you are missing." Aaron grinned as Twiggy blindfolded Nick.

"Why are you blindfolding me?" Nick said trying hard not to laugh.

"Quiet you. No one said you could speak." Justin ordered from the other side of the room.

"Come on guys." Kevin opened the back door and pointed to the bus waiting outside. Twiggy and Aaron grabbed Nick's arms and led him outside.

Kevin ushered the rest of the guys out of the room. All of Nick's closest friends were there. All the members of 'Nsync and the Backstreet Boys obviously. Twiggy, Marilyn, and Mikel were there. MW, Ginger, and John were there as well. His brother Aaron and his dad. Jean-Michel. Allie's friends Cody and Jeff were there. And last but not least were Tom, Mark, and Travis from Blink 182. Nick had literally run into them at a bar and quickly became good friends with the three of them.

Mark grabbed the microphone at the front of the bus and began to tell stories about Nick.

"Now how many of you have heard about the night Nicky became good friends with Mr. Daniels?"

Tom and Travis began to laugh, knowing the story that was coming. No one else had heard it. Nick began to beg Mark to not tell it, laughing the whole time.

"Give that man a beer to shut him up! I got a story to tell."

Cody put a beer in Nick's hand, who accepted gratefully. He took a swig.

"Last summer, we were down in Orlando for a few shows, so we called up Nicky to come party with us after the show. Nicky being the nice guy he was came right on over with a big bottle of Jack Daniels. Now Nicky had never had Jack before. So we introduced the two of them the only way we knew how. Nicky did five shots of Jack in succession. Then we headed out to party."

Mark paused to drink some of his beer.

"Well, it seems that Nicky enjoyed the Jack and wanted more. So Tom poured him a neat shot of it and placed it on his forehead. The rule was if he could flip a dime into the shot glass, he could drink it. So Nicky smiles, thinking how easy that is, rears back and hits Tom in the eye with the dime. Tom jumps up, spills the Jack all over himself and tackles Nicky."

"Nicky and Tom going rolling onto the floor of the bar we were at. The bouncer comes over and pulls the two of them apart. Nicky decides to inform the bouncer that he is very sorry and offers him a shot of Jack in payment. The bouncer proceeds to toss Nicky out on his ass, holding his precious bottle of Jack. Well we wouldn't be friends if we didn't follow him, so the three of us followed Nicky outside and got back into the limo. Nicky tells the driver to take us to the beach. Nicky gives him directions to this place he knows, says its Brian's private beach behind his house. We're all laying on the beach, passing the bottle of Jack around. Nicky jumps up and begins to take off his clothes. We're all like whoa man! Nicky proceeds to run into the ocean buck naked calling for us to join him. Never being ones to back down from a naked challenge, we strip down and haul ass into the water after him. We were in there like five minutes when these giant searchlights come on and shine at us. Turns out Nicky took us to Puff Daddy's private beach and Puffy wasn't that happy with it. After arguing with them for a while, they finally let us get dressed and leave. Nicky polishes off the bottle of Jack and directs the driver to take us to a diner. The four of us ended up passing out in our food and being dragged back into the limo by the driver. And that my friends was the night Nicky became friends with Mr. Daniels."

Everyone laughed at Mark's story. Nick took a swig of his beer, still wearing his blindfold.

"And I haven't had a drop of it since. That stuff left me with a killer hangover the next day."

"Uh oh you asked for it Nicky!" Travis held up a bottle so everyone could see it. He quickly poured a neat shot of the liquid and walked over to Nick.

"Nicky open up."

Nick shut his mouth tightly. He shook his head. "Come on Nicky. Don't make me tickle you." Sighing Nick opened his mouth and Travis poured the liquid in. Nick sputtered for a moment and then began to laugh.

"That was water Travis! You bastard!"

Travis began to laugh at Nick. "Yeah but I made you think you were getting Jack now didn't I."

"Can I take this blindfold off yet guys?"

Kevin stood in front of everyone. "What do you think? Should we take Nick's blindfold off? Or should we keep torturing him?"

"Keep it on!" Marilyn shouted out from his seat. Everyone else chimed in their agreement. Kevin threw his hands up.

"Sorry Nick. Looks like you are stuck with the blindfold."

Casey pulled Allie to the front of the room. "And now the beautiful bride- to-be, Miss Allison Vasquez!"

The roomful of women clapped happily. Grinning, Allie stepped in front of them with a wave.

"Okay, since I am being forced to come up here and sing you know what I want to do Casey. Now you all know exactly how great my singing voice is. Hell I sing back-up for Marilyn if that tells you all something."

The crowd laughed with her, knowing that she really could sing when she wanted to.

"This is one of my favorites. It's also the first song Nick ever sang to me. And believe it or not, it isn't some cheesy shit like Backstreet Boys or 'Nsync. It's 98º! Just kidding. It's called Magic and it's by Ben Folds Five."

Allie held the microphone easily as the music started.

from the back of your big brown eyes

i knew you'd be gone as soon as you could

and i hoped you would

we could see that you weren't yourself

and the lines on your face did tell

it's just as well

you'd never be yourself again

saw you last night

dance by the light of the moon

stars in your eyes

free from the life that you knew

you're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground

you're the breath that blows these cool winds 'round

trading places with an angel now

saw you last night

dance by the light of the moon

stars in your eyes

free from the life you knew

saw you last night

stars in your eyes

smiled in my room

you're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground

you're the breath that blows these cool winds 'round

trading places with an angel now

Allie finished singing the song and opened her eyes back up. The room was silent, in awe of how beautiful it was. Allie looked around at them with a weird look on her face.

"I guess you guys liked that. If your lucky and I have more to drink I'll treat ya'll to the Battle of Who Could Care Less."

Casey walked back up front and handed her another drink. "Treat us now Allie. That was beautiful."

Allie blushed deeply and shook her head. "Thanks, but later. I want to party a little more."

She walked back through the group of her friends. Allie surveyed everyone around her. Her bridesmaids, Casey, Kate, Maria, and Becca were there. Ameena, Shelley and Dani were there as well as Nick's sisters BJ, Angel, and Leslie. Nick's mother Jane was there. Rose was standing off to the side, smiling happily. Allie was glad she had come. Rose had been a good friend to her the past few years. Well once she had started talking to Marilyn again. Allie's whole family was there too creating a huge amount of people.

Becca came up behind Allie and threw her arms around her. She kissed her cheek softly then let go. "Come on. You've got a pile of gifts to open before tonight's entertainment gets here."

"Oh really. What kind of entertainment do you have in store for me?" Allie asked her, knowing what Casey had planned for the most part.

Becca leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "Twiggy agreed to come and strip for us."

"Aww...I've already seen him naked and it's not a pretty picture."

Becca laughed at her and dragged her forward. She sat Allie down in a chair decorated in white and baby blue, the colors for the wedding. "Now everyone, we get shower Allie with gifts for the fun of it. Whose ready to embarrass the unflappable Allison Vasquez?"

Rose raised her hand up high, giggling with anticipation. She handed Allie a long box, wrapped in white and blue paper.

"Rose you are giggling way too much. I'm scared."

Rose laughed at her. "Come on Allie, have I ever gotten you anything too strange?"

"You got me a framed picture of Twiggy's ass. I think that qualifies as strange."

"Okay guilty as charged. I promise this is not another picture of Twiggy's ass. Just open it."

Allie tore the paper off the box. She lifted the top off and gasped. She shook her head and tried to put the top back on without showing anyone.

"Oh no you don't. Everyone gets to see."

Allie shook her head. "Please no. My grandmother is here." She whispered to Casey. "Too bad."

Blushing deeply, Allie reached into the box and pulled out the long leather whip Rose had gotten her.

"That'll keep Nicky from getting out of line." Allie's head whipped around at her grandmother's comment. Lucia just shrugged with a huge grin on her face.

Kevin helped the woman wearing the police officer's uniform on the bus. As was arranged, the bus stopped to pick her up. Nick didn't know that the whole night was going to take place on this bus.

AJ was mixing drinks behind the bar with Howie. The two of them were laughing and joking about how much Nick had to drink already. He was still blindfolded and was just drinking whatever was handed to him. AJ was doing his best to get Nick completely blasted.

Kevin stood on his seat, swaying slightly from the movement of the bus and the alcohol he had ingested. He held up his beer for a toast.

"Okay to my best friend Nick Carter. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Well after tonight's night in prison. Sorry man. Take his blindfold off Justin."

Justin slowly removed the blindfold, revealing the 'officer' to Nick. Nick's face dropped when he saw her there.

"Nikolas Gene Carter, you've been a bad, bad boy. You are under arrest for violating the decency laws of this state." She pulled out a pair of handcuffs and quickly snapped them around his wrists.

Nick had caught on that she wasn't really a cop and let her do it. Kevin hit the button on the micro disc player and the music began. She took off her hat, letting her long blond hair fall down. Slowly she began to strip her clothes off to the joy of all the straight men on the bus.

Kevin, AJ, Lance, Jean-Michel, Marilyn, Mikel, Joey, and JC were gathered in the back next to the bar. Kevin took another drink from his beer. He looked over at the partially naked woman and his drooling friends. He shook his head.

Marilyn looked at Joey and JC, who were both pretending not to watch. "What's with you two? Don't you guys like tits as well as dick? Go watch if you want to."

JC blushed. "I wasn't watching. I'm perfectly happy back here with the rest of you." Joey turned to look again. He grabbed JC's arm and turned him around.

"I don't care if you want to go watch. That's fine with me. I know you will be coming home with me. Does the same go for me?"

The swinging blond hair momentarily mesmerized JC. He shook his head to clear it. "Yeah sure. Let's go." The two of them headed back up front to watch the stripping woman.

"Do you think those are real?" Lance asked no one in particular. Marilyn shook his head.

"No way. Look at how they don't move. Real tits bounce." All eyes turned to him. He just shrugged, not ashamed of the fact that he had slept with women in the past. Actually the only people standing by the bar who hadn't slept with a woman at least once were Jean-Michel and Lance.

"She's pretty good Kev. Where did you find her?" AJ asked him, sipping his soda.

"Actually I had Tom book her. He said he would take care of that part of the night's entertainment. I think she's a porn star actually."

Mikel shook his head. "You know I have to hand it you Kevin. This part of the evening is even interesting to the gay men. We can comment on the bad dye job and whether her tits are real or fake."

They all laughed at Mikel's comment and turned their attention back to the now naked woman shaking her ass in front of the handcuffed Nick Carter.

"Come on we have to get him inside without Allie seeing." Kevin said loudly, trying to get Nick onto his shoulders. Marilyn was giggling uncontrollably, having snuck into the bathroom with Twiggy for a hit of something stronger. AJ, Kevin and Marilyn were the only ones capable of dragging Nick inside. The rest of the guys were passed out on the bus. They had dropped Aaron, Nick's father, Tom, Travis, Mark, Cody, and Jeff at their respective hotels. The Manson guys had stumbled down the street to the cottage out back they were staying in.

Marilyn grabbed Nick's one leg and lifted it up. He started to laugh even harder as Kevin tried to drag Nick. "Grab his other leg AJ."

AJ was still sober for the most part, having had no alcohol at all. He had taken a hit with Twiggy in the bathroom, but he was pretty much all there. He grabbed Nick's other leg and the three of them shuffled into the house with Nick in their arms.

Kevin began to laugh uncontrollably as he stumbled into the kitchen. He dropped Nick on the ground and bent over laughing. AJ and Marilyn dropped Nick's legs and began to laugh as well.

"We gotta get him upstairs. Shut up guys." AJ said, trying to stop laughing. He couldn't help himself though. The three of them sat on the ground laughing overtop of Nick's passed out body.

The light flipped on and the outline of a figure was barely visible. "Kevin is that you?"

Kevin shielded his eyes and looked up at the figure, trying to concentrate enough to figure out who is was. Marilyn and AJ covered each other's mouths, trying to keep quiet.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Kevin tried to speak, but all he could do was laugh some more, which set Marilyn and AJ off again.

Danielle walked over to them and leaned down. "Jeez guys how much did you drink?" She rolled Nick onto his back and checked his pulse and breathing.

Danielle straightened back up. "You guys wait right here. I'll be back with the cavalry."

Kevin shook his head and struggled to stand up. "Don't get Allie. Please." He grabbed her arm tightly.

"Don't worry Kevin. I'm just going to go get Ameena and Shelley. I'll be right back. Sit quietly on the ground. All three of you." She shot Marilyn and AJ a look that silenced their laughing for about three seconds.

Nick groaned quietly. His eyelids fluttered slightly and he tried to force his eyes open. "Allie?"

"Shhh Nick. Dani told us to be quiet." Marilyn said to him, thrusting his face in front of Nick's half-opened eyes. In Nick's alcohol-addled brain, Marilyn looked like some sort of monster with his short blue hair and white eye.

Nick scrambled backwards, trying to escape him. He tried to push his future father-in-law away. Marilyn was confused and he kept reaching out to help Nick.

Nick grabbed AJ's arm and tried to shield himself with it. "Get away from me you sick freak!" Nick shouted at Marilyn. AJ clapped his hand over Nick's mouth to keep him quiet.

Kevin helped Nick stand up, keeping his mouth covered at the same time. "Nick be quiet. You don't want to wake Allie." Nick nodded. "You promise?" Nick nodded again. Kevin removed his hand.

Nick made a beeline for the sink and began to throw up loudly. Kevin sighed. "So much for keeping him quiet."

"Why did he call me a freak? Am I a freak Kevin?" Tears were brimming at the corner of Marilyn's eyes.

"Of course you are, but you like it that way. Remember?" Marilyn nodded and rested his head on Kevin's shoulder. AJ rubbed Nick's back as he threw up.

Dani, Ameena, and Shelley walked back into the kitchen. Shelley rushed over to Nick, pushing AJ aside.

"Where is everyone else?" Ameena asked firmly. Marilyn pointed lazily to the door.

"They're all sleeping on the bus. We wanted to get Nick to bed."

Ameena rolled her eyes and took charge of the situation. "Shelley you stay here with Nick. When he is done this round of puking, get him in the shower. The rest of us are going to get everyone else off the bus. Come on you three clowns."

She grabbed Kevin by the ear and pulled him down to her. "You promised Allie you would take care of Nick. If he is hung over tomorrow I am turning your ass in to the firing squad. Got it mister?"

Kevin nodded. She let go of him and Kevin rubbed his ear. "Sorry Ameena." He mumbled quietly.

"Just get your ass in gear. We have a lot of drunk guys to get inside without waking the bride-to-be."

Chapter 32

Kevin took one last walk past the beach to make sure everything was ready. The sand felt cool against his bare feet as he walked down the beach to the canopy where Nick and Allie were going to be married. Garlands of white roses and lilies marked the barriers for the aisle. On either side were long white benches draped with blue silk on the back.

Kevin stood under the canopy, looking at it again. The wrought iron bars that made up the four corners were wrapped in blue and white silk. Roses were intertwined with the bars. The top was open, but garlands of flowers held together by white ribbons connected the four sides.

They couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. It was warm, but there was no humidity to make the 75º uncomfortable. The sky was blue with plenty of wispy white clouds. The sun was shining brightly and the sand was glistening in its light. To Kevin's amazement, even the sea seemed to be behaving. He had never seen the Jersey shore look so blue. If he didn't know better he would have sworn he was back home in Orlando.

"Kevin!" He turned towards the voice, seeing AJ running towards him in his tux pants and a very tight white shirt. Kevin smiled at him, waiting for him to meet him.

AJ watched as Kevin stood in the sand waiting for him. He looked so handsome in his tuxedo, his short black hair blowing slightly in the breeze. The backdrop of the canopy and the ocean made AJ's heart beat faster. He had missed Kevin so much the past few months.

"What are you doing out here sweetie?" AJ asked him when he finally reached him. Kevin held his hand out to AJ who took it. He was instantly pulled into a Kevin bear hug.

"I love you Alexander James McLean."

AJ hugged him back just as tightly. "I love you too Kevin."

AJ rested his head on Kevin's shoulder when they loosened up the tight hold to a more comfortable one. "I wanted to make sure everything was okay one last time."

"Always the perfectionist aren't you?"

Kevin shrugged. "I want everything to be perfect for Nick."

"The guests are starting to arrive. Aaron sent me down here to make sure everything was clear. We have to get back inside."

Kevin and AJ began walking back hand in hand, talking quietly. "How's Nick?"

"Nervous, but thankfully not hung over. And I've managed to keep Twiggy away from the drugs. He's a bitch to watch over though."

Nick stared in the mirror at his reflection. Howie patted his shoulder reassuringly. "It'll be fine Nick. You're just getting cold feet. Everyone gets them."

"No Howie, I can't move. My legs aren't working." Howie sighed. He pulled Nick's chair out. Before Nick could protest, Howie hauled him out of the chair and let go of him. Nick stood there.

"See your legs are fine. Do you want something to drink?"

"Scotch."

Howie chuckled. "I meant water or something. You are not going to be drunk as you get married."

"Okay put some water in the scotch." Nick joked weakly. Howie patted his back. "See your fine. You're joking. I'll go get you some water."

"Thanks Howie." Nick sat back down and stared into the mirror again. His life was going to change completely in just an hour. He was finally going to marry the girl of his dreams.

Nick closed his eyes and thought about the day he had met Allison Vasquez.

"Kevin why are we here?" Nick whined at him. Kevin rolled his eyes and just rang the doorbell again. Nick sighed and went to stand next to Brian.

"How come we have to spend time with his scary ex-boyfriend?"

Brian looked at Nick with a bemused expression. "Twiggy is one of your best friends. What are you complaining about? The rest of us are the ones who were dragged here."

The door opened slowly and a face peaked out. MW stared at the people standing on the front porch. A smile crossed his face and he opened the door all the way.

"Kevin. Hey."

"Hi Pogo. How are you?" MW grinned in response. Nick noticed that he hadn't changed any since the last time they had seen him.

"Everyone is out back."

They all followed MW obediantly through the living room. "So how's the new guy? Is he as good to the Reverand as he says he is?" Kevin asked him, trying to keep up the conversation, even though he knew it was rather futile with MW.

"You're the only other person who has been this good to him."

Kevin blushed. AJ protectively grabbed his arm. Nick rolled his eyes at AJ's sudden show of jealously.

"Is Twiggy here?" Nick bounced up next to Kevin and MW.

"Out back with Allison."

"Whose Allison? His new girl?"

"Mikel's daughter."

Nick stopped in his tracks. Brian bumped into him. "Keep walking moron. She's probably just a kid."

"She's 15." Kevin said to Brian.

Nick groaned. "We're not going to be attacked by a teenage fan are we?"

MW grunted in response. "Not by Allison." He seemed amused by the question.

MW led them out back, shutting the door behind them as he went back inside. Marilyn stood up from the table he was sitting at and came over to them.

"Kevin hi." He hugged him warmly before turning to AJ and hugging him as well. AJ was stiff in his arms as usual.

"Where's Twiggy at?" Nick asked Marilyn excitedly. Marilyn laughed at him and pointed to the pool.

Nick pulled off his clothes revealing his bathing suit and ran towards the pool. He cannonballed in, splashing everyone on the side in the process.

Nick surfaced only to find himself face to face with a beautiful young woman. She studied him carefully for a moment and then gracefully dived underwater. Nick was speechless.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Twiggy said, suddenly standing next to him. Nick nodded. "I'll introduce you two. You're more her age anyway. Plus she plays Nintendo like a madman. She kicked my ass three times this morning."

The young woman surfaced on the other side of the pool. She hauled herself out of the water and sat by the side. Nick took her in gratefully. She was tiny, only about 5' tall and she couldn't have weighed more then a 100lbs soaking wet. Nick chuckled when he realized she was soaking wet.

She twisted her long black hair to get the excess water out of it.

"Hey Twiggy, come here for a second." Twiggy grinned at Nick, who still couldn't move or say anything. He dove underwater and swam over to her.

"Whose the goofy blond guy who thought it would be funny to do the cannonball?"

"That's Nick Carter." She looked at him blankly. "He's one of the Backstreet Boys." She made a face.

"Oh come on. You knew they were coming over."

"But I didn't know one of them was just a kid. And a cute kid at that."

Nick watched the two of them talk, glancing over at him ever few seconds. Finally Twiggy laughed and shook his head.

"Nicky get over here."

Willing himself to move, Nick swam over to them.

"Allison Vasquez meet Nikolas Carter." Allison held out her hand and Nick took it in his. He brought her hand to his mouth, kissing it softly. He could still remember the faint taste of chlorine on her soft skin. Everything else disappeared. The noise from everyone else, Twiggy, the water. His whole world was centered around this beautiful woman and her delicate hand.

Allison was shocked.

"You can call me Allie." Nick fell in love with her the moment she said to call her Allie. And he didn't stop pursuing her until the day she said yes.

Nick opened his eyes and smiled. He looked at his reflection in the mirror again and this time, he felt relaxed and confident.

Howie walked back into the room carrying the glass of water. "You look better Nick. What happened?"

Nick turned to face Howie. "I just thought about the day I met Allie and how I knew immediately that she was the one for me. It just made everything seem right."

"Great. Now come on, it's time for pictures."

Howie held the door open for Nick, who walked through it and promptly passed out. Howie groaned and slapped Nick's face gently.

Nick's eyes opened and he looked at Howie. "Is the wedding over?"

"Nope, you passed out two seconds after telling me that you were fine."

"I'm not fine. I lied. I want to go back to bed!"

Howie sighed again. How come he got stuck with this job? "Come on Nick. Pull yourself together."

Howie hauled Nick up and brushed his tux for him. Nick leaned against Howie for a moment and then tried to run back into the room. Howie saw it coming and caught Nick by the collar and pulled him backwards.

"Quit it Nick."

Howie pulled him into the main room where the rest of the wedding party was. Nick's father came over to him.

"Nick, are you okay?" He put his arm around him, letting Nick lean against him.

Nick shook his head.

"He's got cold feet Mr. Carter. He'll be fine." Howie pushed Nick over to a chair and sat him down.

Nick looked around at his friends and family. Brian, Howie, AJ, Kevin, Twiggy, and Aaron were all dressed in their tuxedos. His father was wearing a nice suit. Nick almost laughed at the sight of Twiggy in a tuxedo. He looked so uncomfortable. A grin broke across Nick's face.

"What's so funny?" AJ asked him.

"Twiggy in a tuxedo. Sorry you just look really funny." Twiggy shifted uneasily. "Yeah laugh at my pain. Thanks. At least I'm not sweating like a roasting pig."

Nick stood up, feeling better again.

"Everyone got their shoes off?" Nick surveyed the feet of everyone around him. "Dad, take your shoes off."

Robert sighed and slipped his shoes and socks off. He looked down at his oldest child. "Can you all leave for a moment? I want to talk to my son before the wedding."

The guys shuffled out, giving Nick the thumbs up sign. Robert turned to face his son.

"Nick, I am so proud of you. I don't know if I have told you that enough. I can't believe my little boy is getting married." Robert hugged his son tightly, ruffling his hair at the same time.

"Dad, watch the hair. I do have to look presentable for my own wedding." Nick grinned at his father, happy that he was there to share this big day with him.

"Nick, I want to pass on some advice to you that your grandfather gave to me the day I got married. Marriage is a two way street and both people have to compromise to make it work. There is going to be good times and there are going to be bad times. Never, ever let the bad times overtake the good. Grandpa also said that the easiest way to win the argument is to lose. And that one little piece of advice will save you many, many times."

Nick hugged his father again. "Thanks dad."

"One last thing. Give me your hand." Nick held his hand out to his father. Robert slipped the silver and diamond ring off his finger. He slid it onto Nick's hand and closed his hand around Nick's.

"The ring has been passed down for the past three generations of Carter men on their wedding day. I am honored to be able to pass this on to you on your wedding day. Someday you will pass this ring down when your son gets married."

Nick's eyes filled with tears as he looked down at the ring on his hand. His father had never taken that ring off as long as he could remember. When times had gotten really tough, Robert had sold whatever he had to except that ring.

"I love you Dad."

"I love you too Nicky. Now wipe away those tears. You've got to go get married now."

Nick wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, smiling lovingly at his father. Robert put his arm around his son's shoulders and together they walked out of the room.

Mikel kissed his daughter, tears brimming in his eyes. Lucia and James stood behind them, watching as their oldest son and granddaughter hugged. Lucia could hardly believe that her little Allie-baba was getting married. It seemed like just yesterday that Mikel brought her home from the hospital.

Marilyn watched from across the room. He had never seen his husband this happy. Oddly enough, Marilyn felt like his own little girl was walking down the aisle. He had fallen in love with Allie so quickly, he would do anything for her.

"Are you ready baby girl?" Mikel asked his daughter. She nodded, taking one last look in the mirror. He took her hand and helped her up.

Marilyn came over to her. "I love you Allie. I'll see you at the end of that aisle. You look so beautiful honey." He kissed her gently, trying not to let his emotions run wild. He still had an image to maintain.

Marilyn and Allie's grandparents left the room, leaving Mikel and Allie alone.

"I am so proud of you Allison. You have never done anything but make me proud of you. I love you honey."

"I love you too Daddy."

They left the room and joined the rest of her wedding party.

Nick stood nervously at the end of the aisle as all the faces stared at him. He couldn't even tell who was there. Kevin rubbed his back softly, trying to calm him. AJ played with the sand between his toes as he waited impatiently for it to begin.

Kevin surveyed the crowd, trying to see who was there. He found it funny. On one side was 'Nsync, 98º, Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson, Brandy. On the other side was Trent Reznor, Rob Zombie, the members of Marilyn Manson, Limp Bizkit. Not to mention all of Nick's family in comparision to all of Allie's family. It was a very interesting sight to see.

Allie's cousin Samantha stood next to her brother Evan, waiting until she was told when to move. The quartet raised their instruments and began to play Magic by Ben Folds Five, the song Allie had sung the night before.

Samantha was nudged ahead. She and Evan headed down the aisle. Samantha scattered the white and blue rose petals on the sand as they slowly walked towards the canopy.

Twiggy and Kate followed them, holding each other's arms. Allie had picked out beautiful dresses for the bridesmaids. They were ivory sheaths that had slight trains on them and low slung backs. Kate looked beautiful in it with her long red hair piled on top of her head. Twiggy was wearing his tuxedo as comfortably as possible, but he still looked like the tie was strangling him.

Becca and Howie followed them, with Brian and Maria close behind. Finally Casey and Aaron walked down the aisle together.

The crowd rose to their feet as the strains of the 'Wedding March' began. Mikel and Allie stood at the end of the aisle arm-in-arm. Nick blinked back tears as he looked at his beautiful fiancée.

Allie had gone with a surprisingly traditional dress. The thin ivory straps led down to a tight bodice that accentuated every curve she had. The skirt billowed out to a full bottom, making it seem like she was floating as she walked down the aisle. As she drew closer, Nick could see the white roses in her black hair and small veil she wore over her eyes.

The tears were flowing freely from Nick's eyes now and he didn't even care. Allie reached the front, still holding her father's hand. Mikel looked at Nick and gave him a small smile. He placed Allie's arm around Nick's and took his seat next to Marilyn.

"Welcome everyone. It is my pleasure to be here to join these two people in holy matrimony. When I was asked to do this, I thought about the first time Nick came to me and said he was in love. Now like most people I said to him, your only 19, how can you know you're in love? Nick replied the most honest way I have ever heard anyone answer that question. He told me that the whole world flipped upside down and the only thing that stayed normal was her. That's how he knew. After meeting Allison, I know that these two people are deeply in love with each other."

Nick couldn't stop crying, the tears were just running down his face. Allie reached over and wiped them off, trying to keep from crying herself.

"I was asked to not draw this out and looking at Nick now, I can see that he needs to say I do."

Nick chuckled and looked up at his minister.

"If anyone has any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace."

Nick held his breath, praying that no one said anything. He would burst if someone said something. He let it out when the minister nodded and continued.

"Nikolas Gene Carter do you take Allison to be your lawfully wedded wife for richer and poorer in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

"I do." Nick smiled happily at Allie, holding her hand tightly.

"Allison Vasquez do you take Nikolas to be your lawfully wedded husband for richer and poorer in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

"I do." Nick practically jumped with joy. He leaned in to kiss her, but was stopped by Kevin. "Not yet Nicky. Just hold on."

Nick stepped back, grinning sheepishly.

"Can I have the rings please?" Evan walked over to him.

"Nick pick up the ring and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."

Nick slipped the ring on Allie's finger. "With this ring I thee wed."

"Allison pick up the other ring and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."

Allie slipped the ring on Nick's trembling hand, fumbling with it slightly. "With this ring I thee wed."

"Now with the power vested in me by the state of New Jersey, in front of God, family, and friends I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now you may kiss the bride Nick."

Nick lifted Allie's veil carefully and leaned in, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up. They kissed each other deeply, passionately the first time as husband and wife.

Kevin cleared his throat slightly, trying to get Nick and Allie to break apart. Neither made any move. AJ whispered Nick's name. Finally Aaron just leaned forward and tapped his brother on the shoulder.

Nick and Allie broke apart, grinning happily.

"I am proud to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Nikolas Gene Carter."

Kevin handed AJ a soda and sat down next to him on the couch. He and AJ were having a small dinner with Howie, Ameena, Brian, and Shelley. They had all flown back to Orlando the day after the wedding. Everyone wanted to get home after the long tour.

Nick and Allie were honeymooning in Hawaii. They had chosen Hawaii because they had both been there before and wouldn't feel obligated to go sightseeing. This way they could stay in their room the whole time.

"It really was a beautiful wedding. I didn't think they could pull it off considering how busy they both were all year." Brian said with a smile. He snuggled up to Shelley, happy to be with her again.

"And the reception was fabulous. Well, except for Joey's toast." Kevin said laughingly.

"I thought Joey's toast was funny." AJ said looking at Kevin with a grin. Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Of course you would think it was funny. He quoted Homer Simpson in it."

"Hey the Simpson's is quality programming and Homer while often an idiot can offer many, many wise observations about life."

"But the one Joey used was not a wise observation about life."

"It was funny though. He used the what is a wedding quote. Come on."

Kevin sighed. "There is no winning this with you is there." AJ shook his head. "Fine. You're right. It was a good toast and it was a funny quote. Now I am going to go check on the steaks."

Kevin went out back to check the grill. He whistled softly as he marinated them. AJ slid the door open.

"Kevin there's someone here to see you." He turned around.

"Who is it?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? How can you not know?"

"I'm sorry I don't know who she is okay. She knows who you are though. I think you should come to the door."

Kevin shrugged and closed the lid to the grill. He followed AJ to the foyer. A woman was standing at the end with her back to them.

Kevin walked up to her with AJ right behind. She turned to face him. Kevin's breath caught in his throat and he felt like someone had stabbed him. This couldn't be happening. Not now. It had been over 11 years, but it was definitely her.

"Hello Kevin."

"Beth?"

---Oh who's the bitch! I am...don't y'all just love cliffhangers! See you soon!

Rachel

Next: Chapter 12: Escape 33 34


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