So here I go with Chapter 3. How do you guys like it so far? Thanks to all of you that e-mailed me with all of your comments and suggestions. I'm sorry I haven't written all of you back yet. School just started up again and work is picking up again too so its kinda hard to find some computer time and stuff. I do hope to get back to you guys eventually though.
Evil Disclaimer:
Any resemblance blah blah blah is coincidental... at least I think it is anyways. If you're under 18 please leave as you shouldn't be reading this anyways. If you're offended by homosexual material then you've come to the wrong place.
Endless 3
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It was Thursday. Mike walked through the front door. He spent an hour and a half driving around thinking, thinking about Marc. Marc, he knew he loved Marc. He'd known for a while. But what he couldn't get out of his mind was why he had been pushing him away after finally finding out for sure that his best friend was gay. He kicked off his shoes and headed for the stairs. His sister Lisa and his younger brother Mel were sitting on a couch in the living room.
"Mike..." Lisa looked up at him. He headed for the stairs and started up slowly.
"Mike... this came in the mail today." Lisa handed him an envelope, Marc's handwriting, he knew that much.
"Thanks..." He grabbed the envelope and continued up the stairs.
"Mike... um... Marc..." Lisa started to say. Mike paused about halfway up the stairs.
"Well... if he calls tell him I'm asleep." Mike took another step up.
"Mike... he... Marc... he..." Lisa was on the verge of tears.
Mike paused again. "Just tell him I'm asleep and I promise to call him back." He knew he had to. They couldn't avoid each other. They hung out in the same group. They had the same friends. His sister and Marc would have school together. Seeing him again was inevitable.
"Mike... he... you didn't hear... oh god." She started crying. Mel came up behind her and placed an arm around her. He sniffled as he comforted their sister.
"Kuya... Kuya Marc... he... he... he slit his wrists yesterday... kuya... kuya Ray found him when he went over to get his car fixed..." Mel turned Lisa around so she could sob into his shoulder.
Mike stopped moving. His bag dropped and he clutched the letter, the letter Marc gave him. His knees started to give way and he almost lost it there. He gathered up his remaining strength and bolted up the stairs in tears. He collapsed on his bed sobbing uncontrollably as he clutched the letter in his hand.
When he awoke it was dark. The letter lay crumpled in his fist. A few tears came as the reality of things sank in. He fumbled around in the dark and turned his lamp on. He sat at the desk and stared at the letter fearing what it could contain. Slowly he opened it, unfolded it, and started to read with trembling hands.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike,
Babe, I'm sorry. I guess if you're reading this I've moved on, passed on, or whatever. I'm sorry. But I wanted you to know that I love you. There, I said it. Since the first time that I saw you there was always this feeling that I couldn't really pinpoint. I guess somehow in my fucked up mind it grew into love. I know you're probably thinking that its sick to love another guy and stuff like that. I'm sorry. And you're probably all grossed out remembering every single time we had even the slightest bodily contact. I'm sorry. So why wait til the last minute to tell you all of this? I guess cause I'm chicken shit. I couldn't live having to see you hate me because I'm the way I am. I couldn't ever face you like that. So I guess since I'm gone now... I guess it somehow makes it okay. At least I don't have to see you hating me, right? I'm sorry. If the world were different I would have told you that I loved you in an instant. So what now? I don't know. I guess you go on living your life. And I get to lay in my grave, alone. God... I'm sorry... I just have to write... I'm sorry. I would have given everything to hold you in my arms at night just once. I would have given everything to feel your lips against mine, to taste the sweetness that is you. I would have given everything to hear you say everything that I wanted to hear from you. I would have given everything to be able to tell you everything I have been feeling these past few years. I would have given everything to have you make love to me and tell me all those sweet nothings that couples do. I would have given everything up for just one night with you. For you to be in love with me in that same way that I was with you. Everything. There, I said it. I'm sorry. Probably just said everything you've never wanted to hear. I'm sorry. But thats how I feel, how I felt. But yeah, so if this letter gets to you then I couldn't take it anymore because I was beginning to make myself sick. Sick of being me and I guess I couldn't run from myself anymore. I was sick of not being able to be normal. Because I was hopelessly in love with a best friend that could never return those feelings. I'm sorry. So... I guess I'll be watching you from wherever I am. Not like in a perverted way or anything. I never thought of you like that if thats what you're scared of. But if I do make it to heaven somehow... and you see me there... just... I don't know... don't turn me away... fat chance at that, huh? I'm sorry... I don't know what else to say other than that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I fell in love with you and that I couldn't content myself with just being your best friend. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you and leading you on. I'm sorry for leaving you behind to deal with this huge mess I'm probably making. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being gay. There, I said that too. I'm sorry for loving you. Just... just try not to hate me too much. I was just trying to be me.
Love,
Marcello Dela Cruz Arcino
Mike reread the letter in disbelief.
'For years... for years' he thought and let the contents of the letter sink in. 'He'd been in love with me for years... and he never said anything.' He lay his head down on the desk and started crying all over again.
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So what did you all think? Sad? I dunno... I was just kinda like in a morbid mood to write and stuff. So I wrote... I wasn't sure if I was even able to convey the right emotions and stuff like that. But well... so that's chapter 3 and... just mail me vocal76@hotmail.com... peace and adobo grease!