Usual disclaimer...All rights reserved. Copyright owned by the author. If you are underage and or offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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It only took twenty minutes to reach Erlanger Hospital. The policeman that drove Jake and me, was unable to tell us of details...when...how bad,,,etc,,,so twenty minutes seemed an eternity. In spite of the fact we were sitting in a squad car, speeding down Third Street, I had reached over to hold Jake's hand. The cop, if he had noticed, paid no mind. Whatever had happened, he knew it was serious and I was upset. We pulled into the back of the hospital. As usual, the emergency room was crowded...even at 4:00 AM. I jumped out of the patrol car and ran to the admitting desk.
"Hi, I'm Chuck...Charles Stanley...I believe my mother and dad are here."
"Let me check...please have a seat and there will be someone to see you, shortly."
A million unanswered thoughts were raging through my brain. I felt my body quiver in anticipation.
After a few minutes, a man in a white coat came through the swinging doors.
"Mr. Stanley?"
"Yes?"
"This way, please."
"Come on, Jake, go with me."
We were led into a small, empty, examining room.
The "doctor" turned and spoke.
"You ARE the son of James and Kimberly Stanley?"
"Yessir."
"Do you have any brothers and sisters, or any other immediate family?"
"No sir."
"Well, son, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but it would appear that there was a gas explosion in your house, injuring both of your parents."
"How bad?"
"I'm afraid your mother was killed instantly...and your father is in the room, next to us...he is currently in an oxygen tent."
I gasped. This was too much to fathom at once.
"My Dad?...Is he gonna be all right?"
"Due to the severity of the burns he suffered in his lungs, I'm afraid, he has only a matter of hours."
"OH MY GOD! NO!...Is he awake?...Can I talk to him?"
"We had to sedate him to ease his pain. He's a fighter...In spite of the medication, he drifts back into consciousness every few minutes. He asked for you, twice."
"Please, can I see him?"
"Yes, just don't upset him...he's trying his best to 'hold on'. His breathing is labored and we have a suction line, directly into his lungs. They are rapidly filling with fluid."
"Please, take me to him."
I slowly walked into the room. The oxygen tank had a plastic window and it was fogging up with each breath. I could just barely see him. When I got up close...I tried to be brave. I couldn't recognize this person. It was my dad, but his face, neck and arms were burned raw. The hair on his head was singed. I could hear a rattle sound coming from his throat each time he exhaled.
"Dad?"
"Dad?"
"Dad?"
He opened his eyes, just slightly, focusing to see who was calling him back to this world. He almost seemed annoyed. He uttered something that I made out to be "Chuck".
"Yes Dad, it's me...Everything's gonna be all right, now...I'm here to take care of you."
I imagined a small smile on his lips.
"I've never said it, Dad...but I love you."
His eyes blinked as if he had heard me.
I waited in earnest to hear him reply the same token of affection to me...but he didn't.
"Do you love me, Dad?"
He stared at me,,,not even blinking...just an icy cold stare.
"Do you?...Do you love me, Dad?...I want to hear it...just once. I need to know that you love me...Dad?"
The icy stare became fixed. He took one more deep breath...coughed...and I could see the last breath of air he would ever take, exhaling from his mouth.
He was gone.
I stood there while the doctor opened up the tent and placed a stethoscope to that burned chest. The doctor shook his head...placed his hand on my dad's forehead and shut his eyes closed.
The shock of reality still hadn't hit me. I was only aware of what the doctor had told me...my mom was dead...and now my dad was dead...and I was alone. I hadn't even felt Jake's hand on my shoulder. I should call someone and let them know...but who?...My dad was an only child...My mom was an only child...meaning that I had no aunts and uncles or cousins. All four of my grandparents had died during the past ten years...I had no one to call...I had no one, period.
Jake, finally spoke. "Chuck, let's go home. You've done all you can do here. Let's go talk to my parents...want to?"
"Jake, I wanna go to my house...see how bad it is...how much damage was done...OK?"
"Right now?"
"Right now...I have to know."
"I'll call my dad to come pick us up."
I figured the explosion must have happened around two hours ago. By the time Mr. Abrams arrived at the hospital and started back to my house, it must have been between 5:00 and 5:30 AM. We turned down Valley Brook Lane...and I could still see two fire trucks up ahead. The firemen were still spouting water. I got out of Mr. Abrams car and walked, slowly through the crowd of spectators and neighbors that had assembled. After all this time... they were still there. I couldn't see any flames, but the smoke was enormous...it was difficult to see what I needed to see. I kept looking intently,,,trying to "make out" the image of our home...but the only image was the one in my mind...The house was razed to the ground. There was nothing left but smoldering rubble. I stood there frozen in disbelief...a few hours ago, I had everything a kid could want...and now...I had nothing. My mind was fluctuating between sorrow and anger. I wanted to hit something...I wanted to hold something...someone...my mom...my dad...my room, plastered with photos of James Dean...had it only been last night that I had seen "Rebel"? That seemed like, days or weeks ago. I remember I left the movie house...and had taken Jackie home...Jackie...I need to call Jackie...I had spent the night at Jake's...if I hadn't I would've been here, when the explosion occurred...I would be dead now...I SHOULD be dead now...
"Seen enough?"...It was Jake who interrupted my rapid thoughts.
"I've seen too much."
"Let's go back to my house with Dad...OK...Buddy?"
"Sure".
He openly, put his arm around me and steered me to his dad's car. When we arrived, Mrs. Abrams was on the porch to meet us. Nothing was said...nothing had to be said...she quietly walked over to me and placed her arms around me. I was glad she was there. She held me for several minutes...and motioned me to go into the house with her.
"Would you boys like something to eat or drink?"
"No, thank you, maam? I would just like to go lie down."
"Jake, take Chuck up to your room. Let him sleep in your bed...and if he wants to be alone, I'll make up the living room couch for you."
"That's OK, Mrs. Abrams...Jake's my best friend...I want him near me, right now...you know, you folks are the nearest thing I have to a family, now."
"Chuck, Words are so futile...but I am so sorry for everything that happened tonight...and I am so glad you decided to spent the night with Jake...otherwise...well, we won't talk about that...I'm just glad you're here...safe...and with us."
I went up the stairs with Jake. When he had closed the bedroom door. I put my arms around him...and for the first time...I cried."
"Let it go, buddy, get it all out at one time...I'm here with you...you're safe...you're with me." Jake assured me.
I don't know how long we stood there...but we slowly managed to lie on the bed. We didn't bother to undress. I fell asleep in his arms...and stayed there until noon. I could feel his lips pressed to my forehead,
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Jake's parents were great. They had contacted the funeral home...somehow had found my dad's insurance company...and made all the arrangements. Jackie had come to the house around 10:00AM, but didn't disturb me. She knew I need to rest. I wondered what she would have thought if she had seen me lying in bed, clutching Jake,..Probably, nothing...she respected our closeness...she knew we were like brothers. The four of us...Jackie, Marsha, Jake, and I, all had love for each other...each in different ways.
The funeral was held at the Brainerd Baptist Church. The pews were filled with friends and well-wishers. I sat between Jake and Jackie, staring at the two coffins in front of the pulpit. There was a short service at the cemetary, afterwards...and the four of us left the graveside, hand in hand.
I didn't know where to go...I had no family...no house...Jake's parents had assumed I would stay with them until something further could be arranged. Fortunately, the night of the occurrence, I had left my car at Jake's and had gone to the movie from his house...so I still had the Chevy, dad had bought me.
When the four of us reached Jake's house...Mrs. Abrams pulled me aside and said..."Chuck, I don't want you to worry about a place to stay. You and Jake are so close...you've always been like a second son to us. We want you to stay, as long as you like...our home will be your home...if you like."
"Thanks, Mrs. Abrams, I don't know what I would have done, if it weren't for you and Mr. Abrams."
"Since, you're going to be living with us...we want you to treat us like family...so would it be all right with you if you called me Ann...and Mr, Abrams...Fred?...It's so less informal that way."
"I'll try...but you've always been MR. and MRS. Abrams to me."
"Well, now we're Ann and Fred."
"OK...Ann."
She smiled and let me go join the "foursome". I realized I had not been alone with Jackie during the whole ordeal. It was only fair...we had been going steady since the beginning of high school...and I DID love her. It seemed strange...that here was my girl...my steady girl...and the most we had ever done was kissing at the drive-in...and there was Jake...my best friend...my new brother...and we had shared more intimacy, than I had ever dreamed of having with Jackie...I wondered if the same thing was going through Jake's head, about him and Marsha...The three nights I had spent at Jake's...we had done nothing more than hold each other...we hadn't even thought about sex since that first and only time...but if I were going to live with him on a semi-permanent basis...then we would have to talk things out and set ground rules. The mere fact that there was only one bed in Jake's room, there had been no reason for Ann and Fred to suspect anything out of the ordinary. Jake and I had been staying over and sleeping in the same bed for almost ten years. Why should there be any difference now? There was still school to think of...games...proms...activities...It was our senior year...so we had a lot to look forward to.
The four of us decided to double date on Friday...get a bite to eat...go to the movies...Get things back to normal...as least as much possible. My classmates stared at me as if I had the plague...all wanting to say something to me...pay their condolences...but most were afraid to approach.
Thursday night, the night before our date. I had finished some homework and was ready to go to bed. Jake had already lay down and was looking at the new "Look" magazine. I had been wearing his clothes since the fire...and we were both clad in his pajamas.
"Scoot over, Rover."
I climbed in bed and lay beside him. He continued to read.
"You know, we haven't said one word about what happened between us the other night."
"I figured you would, when you felt like talking about it."
"Let's talk about it, now."
"OK." he said as he put the magazine down, "Talk!".
"Earlier tonight, while I was showering, I started remembering how happy I was, the other night, before my world fell apart. I asked myself if I had been punished doing what we did."
"What did you decide?"
"I told myself, 'no', if I were going to be punished, I would have been in that fire with mom and dad...but for some reason...I was meant to be here...and my life was spared."
"That's a good way of looking at it."
"Have you done much thinking about the other night?"
"Some."
"And?"
"I don't think what we did was wrong. I had been wanting to try something with you for a long time...I just never had the courage...and I didn't know show you would react."
"Well, you saw the way I reacted."
"I know."
"We started out so innocent like, and they you got carried away and that made me get carried away...and soon we were both doing and saying things...I don't know whether we meant or not."
"I know."
"I mean, it's one thing to be horny...it's just that...you know I have never done anything like that with Jackie...and I don't think you've ever done anything with Marsha..."
"I haven't."
"...but it seemed so right to be doing it with you. We been two guys close enough to be one, for all these years...and whatever I did to you...well, it was like doing it to myself...Is that the way you feel?"
"Not really."
"What do you mean?"
"Chuck, you must know how I feel about Marsha...we're a couple...a good match-up...the same as you and Jackie...I mean, I love her and all...and...one day...we might even get married...but I don't know...I don't know about me, I mean...I don't know about my feelings...I don't think there's anything wrong with me...I don't think I'm queer or anything...but as I use to lie here and think about James Dean when I beat off...and later realized I was beating off thinking about you...because you remind me so much of him,,,Course, I wondered if you beat off at night...and the idea of this excited me...I dreamed of us lying here beating off together...and me touching you...and you touching me...and then I built up all these dreams and wild fantasies about you...I wondered why two "normal" guys couldn't be a "couple"...I mean, guys like you and me...what would happen if we both felt the same way and all...and wanted to live together like a man and a woman...Heck...do you have any idea of what I'm trying to say?"
"Kinda."
"I mean, like the other night, before the cop knocked on the door, I told you that I think I love you...and you sorta made me think you felt that way, too."
"Jake...I've always loved you...but I also love Jackie,,,and you also love Marsha."
"I know, Chuck...but this is different...I thing about YOU all the day...when I wake up...before I go to sleep...not her...and I've wondered why your in my every waking moment...It's like I had fallen IN love with you...then I saw the way Sal Mineo looked at James and I saw myself looking at you that way...Shit, I'm just talkin' and talkin', making an ass out of myself,,,and you're not saying anything...if you want me to shut up...just say so."
"No, I don't want to shut up...it's just that what you've been saying has set my mind to reeling. I hear what you're saying...I want to listen...and yet, I don't...Jake...three days ago, I lost every thing I had in my life...except you...and Jackie...you, two, are all I have left, now...and what you are saying is almost forcing me to choose between you, and I don't wanna have to do that,.."
"I don't want you to do that...I might lose..."
"Or you might win...I keep asking myself...now that my life has changed...what's most important to me...I mean, the MOST important...and the only person who has always been there for me, was you. You told me you loved me...do you know you're the first person in the world to ever say those words to me...not even Mom or Dad...sure, deep inside, what kid doesn't know his parents loved him...but why couldn't they say it?...I asked myself that until I saw my Dad in the hospital...and it hit me...I had never said that to him...YOU were the first person I ever told,,,that I loved them...I've never even come close to saying that to Jackie...now, what do you think that means?"
"I don't know...I just know that the happiest I been in my entire life, has been the last three nights, lying here, holding you in my arms."
"And lying here in your arms...I have never felt safer...or more loved."
"Chuck...I'll ask you what I did, the other night, do you think two guys COULD love each other?"
"I guess they could."
"...do you think two guys, like you and me, could love each other?"
"It's possible."
"...do you think you and I could love each other?"
"More than likely...you wanna kiss me?"
"If I don't I'm gonna burst inside."
He lunged his body toward me, both legs, climbing atop mine, his mouth searching mine, hungrily. He was pushing his tongue toward my lips, even before we met. I didn't resist...I just let his tongue explore any and everywhere in my oral cavity, he desired. He licked my teeth and tongue as if I had a mouth full of honey...and this Winnie the Pooh, wanted it all. At the same time, I could feel his excitement had reached to the lower half of his pajamas. as he began to hunch my crotch with his.
I pulled back long enough to say,,,:Now wait a minute, Tiger, I said kiss...I didn't agree to anything more..."
"Shit, you let me touch it the other night."
"I know...and then you couldn't control yourself."
"All right, if I promise to stop after one touch...can I?"
"Do you hear yourself?...You're like a kid at Warner Park begging to go on the merry-go-round..."
"Well, Daddy, can I?...Please?"
"You asshole...go ahead...one touch...and then you have to stop."
"Will you, at least pull your pajama bottoms down, just in case I accidentally touch it before I get disqualified."
"OK". I said obligingly as I raised my hips and lowered the pants down to my mid-thigh.
"Before I touch it...will you get it hard for me?"
"Damn, you drive a hard bargain..."
"That's what I want...a HARD bargain."
"OK, already". as I grabbed myself and began to massage my dick into an erection.
"There...will this do?", when I had finished.
"Boy...WILL IT?"
He stretched his left hand slowly as if he were about to touch a hot stove...just as his fingers were about to grip my shaft,,,he lunged forward and engulfed my entire cock into his mouth and down his throat.
"Jake, stoppit...you promised."
He didn't want to hear me. He had his prize and it was up to me now, to take it away from him...but, hell, I really didn't want him to stop. This guy, this best friend, this brother, loved me...and he wanted to show me that he loved me....Had I never let anyone show me they loved me before?...oh, I don't mean sexually...had I stopped anyone from expressing their love for me...I hoped not...why would I deprive Jake of his "expression"?
"Oh, hell, go ahead...enjoy yourself. just save me enough so that I won't have to squat to pee."
I took his head with both my hands, as I guided him through the motions, on what pleased me. Jake seemed to like this as much or more than I did. He really got into sucking.
Then a funny thing happened...while I was running my fingers through his hair...I began to stroke his locks...sorta combing them, the way a mom would do her son's. I was having a "tender" feeling toward Jake...not pity...something more than that...Jake wasn't just trying to get his jollies or trying to get me off...he was making love to me...with each stroke. I felt as if he were paying homage to a hero...or a husband to a wife...or vice-versa. If this is what he wanted...I would give myself to him...freely and completely.
"Jake, you better stop...I'm almost there." I, quietly, warned.
His words were garbled with my phallus in his mouth, but I think he said.."I don't wanna stop...keep going."
I hoped I had heard correctly, because I let him continue until I had a massive explosion in his mouth and down his throat. He coughed and sputtered a bit, but kept on swallowing, until he knew I had no more to give. He returned his head to the pillow. I could smell the Clorox odor of semen on his breath...
"How was that?"
"You tell me...how was it?", I replied.
"It was wonderful...we're not bloodbrothers anymore...we're cumbrothers."
"You idiot."
"I'm serious...when two people get married,,,the most sacred part of himself a man can give to his wife...is his seed...his sperm...it gets inside her and love...and sometimes...a baby grows."
"Are you going to blame me if you get pregnant?"
"No, shut up. I'm trying to say I have your sperm inside me...and it will flow in my bloodstream the rest of my life...that's what I wanted...and now I have it...and you can never take it away from me,"
"You're really serious about all this, aren't you?"
"I said I was."
"...and you think you love me the same way a man loves a woman?"
"I said I did."
"...you don't think of me as a woman..I mean, your woman, do you?"
"Shit no...I'm more girlish than you'll ever be."
"You're not at all girlish."
"You're not either...I guess what I'm trying to say is...I love you like a man loves a man...and there's nothing wrong with that."
"No, Jake, there's nothing wrong with that."
"Then...will you be my 'man'?"
"I don't like putting it that way...How about 'male partner'?"
"Sounds pretty good...how about male lover?"
"Sounds even better."
He gave me a quick kiss.
"Now, let's go to sleep...we both have school tomorrow, and I have a test second period."
He turned out the light and as I rolled my back toward him, he slid over and cradled my body, next to mine. Through two pairs of pajamas, I could feel his penis, still rock-hard as it pressed against my ass crack.
"Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"You didn't get to shoot your load...you gonna be able to sleep?"
"I don't know...I think, so."
"Want some help?"
"Only if you want to."
"I want to."
He flopped on his back sliding his pajamas down to his knees, I wanted to make this good for him...I would kiss him and give him the best hand job, possible. I raised up and gently placed my lips on his, as my right hand ran down his flannel chest...navel...tiny hairs...to his pubes...and latched on to his very hard member. He arched his back, thrusting his pelvis forward. He exhaled a moan between my kisses. I slowly began an up and downward movement with my firm grip. Then I asked myself...:Why are you being such a coward?...Is Jake braver than me?...Is he more manly?...He wasn't so shy to go down on me...What's holding me back...? Don't I love him as much as he loves me...? LOVE him???...Yes, I do...I DO love him...I've never felt this way about Jackie...I've never felt this way about anyone...Am I that selfish...? He's really all I've got...He IS the most important person in my life...".
"Wait, Jake,..There's something wrong with this..."
"What...?"
"This!"
That's the last thing I said to him before I lowered my head and put his cock in my mouth. Suddenly, between a feeling of guilt and wanton lust,,,I wanted him...I wanted ALL of him...I wanted to make love to him...I wanted his sperm to flow in my veins too. I took his penis and balls in both hands and kissed it...licked it...made love to it. My desire grew stronger...I was heated with passion...All the nerves and pent-up emotions, I had filled myself with, over the past three days...I was unleashing on him...and it seemed right. I squeezed tightly on his scrotum, wanting him to build up the biggest load he had ever emitted...and, in a flash...he was there...his cream filled my mouth, and I swallowed as quickly, as I could. I wouldn't waste one drop of him. His ball sac, once again, relaxed, and I returned my head to be next to his.
"Wow...what came over you?"
"You did...Now, you're inside me, forever, too."
"What changed your mind?"
"I dunno...it just sorta hit me, what was the most important thing in my life...or rather what more in my life could I lose..."
"And?"
"The answer came back, loud and clear...Jake Abrams. I DO love you, man to man."
"What do you think's gonna happen?"
"I'll put you on a white horse and we'll ride into the sunset."
"Do you think Mom and Dad will get suspicious, if we start acting differently?"
"We won't have to."
"I heard Mom talking to Dad about refurnishing the guestroom and making it into your own private bedroom."
"Well, I won't move."
"What'll you say?"
"I'll tell her, that, right now, I don't want to be alone at night...she'll buy that."
"I guess."
"What'll we say to Marsha and Jackie?"
"What do you want to say...Dear Marsha...sorry to tell you this, but I love Chuck, now...love, Jake...?"
"No something like...'Dear Marsha...sorry to tell you, but Chuck and I have eloped...with each other...love, Jake'."
"You idiot...although it's not a bad idea...We can continue dating them, for appearance sake...God knows, we're not going to get into their panties...We'll be friends, as always..."
"But no more passionate making out at the drive-in..."
"Only, if they want to watch us...Now...do you think we can get some sleep?"
"Nope...I couldn't get to sleep, now, no matter what I did, I'm too fucking excited."
"Not again!"
"I didn't mean it that way."
"I know...Just turn out the light and hold me...I'll go to sleep...happy...whether YOU do or not."
He turned out the light...This time I cradled him. I was wrong...I couldn't sleep either...Both of us were still wide awake when the alarm went off at 7:00AM.
Bleary-eyed, we both dressed and went downstairs to have breakfast with Ann and Fred. She was cooking and he was sitting at the table reading the Chattanooga Times.
"You boys sleep all right?", Ann asked.
"Yes, maam."
"Like a log"
Fred put down his paper, cleared his voice slightly, and looked at me. I blushed...like a bride on the morning after the night before.
"You feel all right, this morning, Chuck?"
"Yessir."
"Your face looks a little flushed."
"I'm fine, sir...Fred."
He smiled.
"I wanted to talk to you last night, but Ann said you were studying for a big test today...so I thought what I had to say could wait until this morning."
"Thank you, sir..Fred/"
"As you know, my law firm handled your dad's affairs...and yesterday, I had my secretary look into his files to see what he had planned for you...financially...college...your future...and she came back with a summary report...it's not complete...but the way we figured it...with his assets...his insurance policies..with the double indemnity clauses in case of accidental death...the insurance on your home...and the rough estimate of your inheritance will be in the neighborhood of...oh...around....one-point-five, million dollars...after taxes. This, of course, I will put in a escrow account until your eighteenth birthday...by the way...when IS your birthday?"
I was speechless...I couldn't breathe because of what he had just said...
"Chuck?"
"Chuck?"
"Sir...?"
"When is your birthday?"
"Oh...next month...on the seventeenth."
"Well, everything should be cleared up by then..."
I still couldn't talk. I couldn't even look at Jake.
"Of course, I know this all comes as a shock to you...but you will have time to decide, what you want to do with your life...where you want to go to college...You know you can stay here with Ann, Jake, and me, as long as you like...you know you're like a son to us."
"Yessir...thank you, sir."
"Speaking of that, Chuck," Ann chimed in."I've been talking to Fred about refurnishing the guest room so you can have a room all to yourself, so you boys won't get crowded. ..Would you like that?"
"No maam...I mean, Ann...I keep having these nightmares and I'm scared...I feel better when I know that Jake is there with me."
"I can understand that...would it be better if we put two beds in his room?"
"No maam, I don't feel safe unless I can feel him next to me."
"All right, then, we'll just leave things the way they are, right now...but if you start feeling cramped or you, two, start getting on each other's nerves...just let us know and we can make other arrangements."
"Thank you, maam"
"Now you boys, finish up your breakfasts, and get to school...and good luck on your test."
I don't remember if I ate or not. I was tired from NO sleep and overwhelmed by Fred's announcement. Jake and I took his car to school, leaving mine in front of his house. Neither one of us said a word until the car doors were closed.
"One-point-five million dollars??" I screamed.
"Yeah."
"Do you know what this means?"
"I have a pretty good idea."
"I can afford to do anything in the world I want to."
"Yeah, I know."
"Why so glum?...We can buy a gold-rimmed carriage and have a team of white horses to ride us off into the sunset."
"You said, "we".
"I meant to say "we"...you know...as in "YOU and I".
"You mean, you would still want me around?"
"I'll hire guards to see you don't try to escape me."
"Then, everything you said this morning is still on?"
"Everything I said, and a whole lot more...Mr. Abrams, would you do me the honor of becoming my male-mate for life?"
"I wish you meant that."
"I'm not joking...will you?...I guess since it's the first time I ever proposed to anyone...I didn't do it right...I'm suppose to tell you how much I love you, first...All right...I love you...will you ride off into the sunset with me?"
"I will, but first we'd better ask Jackie and Marsha, what they think about it..."
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(to be continued) In the meantime, check out my latest chapter of "just-beyond-that-hill" in the Incest section of Nifty,