DISCLAIMER: EastEnders is the property of the BBC. This is just a story and has no bearing on the lives of the actors who play the characters. It does not represent real events.
If you have any comments or suggestions about this story, or would like to chat about the characters, or make suggestions for future instalments, please feel free to e-mail me. Make your emails as detailed as possible and send them to craiginboxers@hotmail.co.uk.
When Ricky Butcher got married earlier this year, he didn't have the chance to hold a proper stag do. The lads have been on at him since his wedding to organise a belated one and finally, five months later, he has given in. He didn't have a clue what to sort out though - All of the lads said they didn't care what they did, as long as it involved them leaving the square for the weekend.
Because he's so useless at organising things like this, he asked his mate Darren Miller to sort the weekend out. Ricky assumed that it would be some kind of visit down town, maybe even a visit to a strip club.
Darren told the lads that they would be leaving Friday afternoon and could only wear the outfits that they started in for the whole weekend, but he wouldn't tell them what the plan was. Because nobody knew what was happening, nobody knew what to wear. Some dressed smartly, assuming they would be visiting bars and clubs in town; while others dressed sportily, thinking it may be some kind of adventure weekend. However, those who had put on their best gear were in for a disappointing surprise as Darren had in fact organised a weekend camping trip.
Darren had told the lads to meet at a mini bus in the square at 4 pm. At that time all of the lads from the square who were coming were there ... except Darren.
Ricky was dressed in tight light blue Levis jeans, a really tight black muscle t-shirt showing his stocky but toned body, a black blazer and black ck boxer-briefs. Joining him were Max Branning, in a grey Armani suit, white shirt, thin black tie and grey Armani boxers; Max's brother Jack in tight dark blue Hugo Boss jeans and a white Lacoste polo shirt. He is commando under the jeans.
Next to arrive is Max and Jack's nephew Billie Jackson, who is in baggy sagging skater jeans, showing the waistband of his grey Mackenzie boxers, a grey designer Gucci t-shirt with a pattern on it and a navy blue Armani hoody. Following that, Ryan and Sayeed arrive. Ryan is wearing black Adidas trackies, a white Fred Perry polo shirt and tight fitting black Armani boxers. Sayeed meanwhile is wearing an England football kit - including white shirt, blue shorts and white socks, under which he has a pair of tiny white CK briefs.
'Nice of you two to bother making an effort,' says Max.
'Well we assumed that as Darren's organised it it's probably gonna be a footy match,' says Ryan.
Next to arrive are the three best mates Leon Small, Fatboy and Peter Beale - who also assumed a sporty weekend was ahead.
Leon is wearing his beloved Chelsea kit - blue shirt, blue shorts and white socks - and under the shorts is commando, as he didn't have any clean pants left that morning. Fatboy meanwhile was in navy Adidas trackies, a white Nike vest and white CK boxer-briefs, while Pete was in a Manchester United kit - red shirt and white shorts - under which he had white Armani boxers.
The lads were all outside the mini bus but none of them could get in as Darren had the key.
'He's late for fucking everything,' says Ricky. 'I'll call him now.'
The moment Darren's mobile rings he is mid-flow through his second wank of the day. Darren had always been a horny lad, often wanking four or five times a day, and when he was wanking he had a tendency to lose track of time. Dressed like a scally boy as ever, he is wearing white Adidas trackies, a white Lacoste polo shirt with the collar turned up, white footy socks and white ck boxers. However, at that moment the trackies and pants were round his ankles and he was furiously wanking his 8" thin uncut cock.
His phone started to ring and he couldn't believe it when he picked it up and got an earful from Ricky.
'I swear I said 4.30 man, just gimme 15 minutes,' begs Darren.
'No fucking chance mate, we're all waiting,' says Ricky. 'Get down here now.'
Darren has no choice but to abandon his wank. He wipes his hand on his polo shirt and, still horny as fuck, pushes his still rock solid cock into his pants and pulls up his trackies. He waits a minute until his boner goes down a bit and rushes downstairs.
Jack has agreed to drive the mini bus and they all pile in.
'So, what kept you then Darren?' asks Jack.
'I'm not gonna lie to you lads,' replies Darren. 'I was having a wank. Never even managed to finish off though.'
'You dirty fucker,' says Max, who is sitting next to Darren in the back row of the bus. 'If you never finished you're gonna be horny as fuck, and I'm stuck here sitting next to you, great!'
'Yeah well I ain't gonna have a chance to have one all weekend while I'm away with you guys am I so that's why I was having one then.' says Darren.
'Yeah, that's what I thought too,' says Billie. 'I had one before in the shower.'
'Me too,' says Ryan. 'I had an incredible one over this filthy DVD my mate leant me before. Came everywhere.'
'Fuck,' says Leon. 'I wish I'd had one today now, I'm gonna be gagging all weekend now.... unless we're going to a strip club? By the way Ryan, you'll have to lend me that DVD when we get back.'
Before the lads go to their final destination, they have to pick up a few lads who no longer live in Walford. First up they go and get Deano Wicks. He's dressed in three quarter length cargo shorts, a black vest and baggy red CK checked boxers. Next up they pick up Sean Slater, who is dressed in a black DKNY suit, white DKNY t-shirt and white DKNY boxers, then Martin Fowler, who is in white Umbro nylon footy shorts, a pale blue Fred Perry t-shirt, and tiny black CK briefs.
Finally they go to pick up Mickey Miller. Like his brother Darren he is not ready though. He thought he still had an hour to go so is in the middle of decorating. He's wearing old grey Adidas trackies with a big rip in the knee and a small rip in the thigh and paint stains splattered on them, a sweaty white England footy shirt, and he is commando under the trackies. The lads tell him there's no time for him to change so he'll have to come as he is.
'Fuck, you stink man,' says Sean, who is sitting next to him on the bus.
Only then, now everybody is on the bus, does Darren tell them that they are going on a camping weekend in the woods in the countryside. He gives Jack the directions and it's about a three hour drive.
Although all of the lads know that Sayeed is gay, but they all think that everyone else on the trip is straight. Little do any of them realise that Mickey is also secretly gay, or that Darren, Max and Sean are all secretly bi. Sean experimented with loads of men in the army and loves nothing more than pounding a hot sweaty man. Darren has never done anything sexual with a man, but wanks on the internet over as many men as he does women, while Max has had affairs with as many men over the years as he has with women.
The lads head off on their journey and have a couple of cans each. After about half an hour, Darren starts moaning that the beers have gone through him and that he needs a piss. Max says he does too and so does Ryan. Jack pulls over and the three lads line up in a row by a hedge to piss, Darren in the middle of the two older guys. Max unzips his suit trousers and releases his cock, which although floppy is massive, while Darren and Ryan pull their balls over the top of their trackies. All three start to piss.
Being bi and still horny as fuck having never finished his wank, Darren decides to risk it by taking a sneaky look at the two lads cocks. He perves on Ryan unnoticed, but as he takes in a eye-full of Max's, he spots Max clocking him.
The lad's head back to the bus but before they get on it, Max whispers in Darren's ear:
'Look's like I'm not the only bi one then,'
Darren can't believe what's he's just heard. His older, fit as fuck boss, who he has had so many dirty wanks over, is bisexual like him - and if what's he's just seen is anything to go by has a massive cock. A massive grin appears on Darren's face.
'What you smiling at mate,' asks Fatboy.
'Ah nothing man,' he says, before joining Max on the back seat of the mini bus.
'We're gonna have a busy weekend everyone,' says Max out of the blue, why don't we all get a couple of hours kip until we get to the place we're going?'
Everyone agrees and a few start to nod off.
Max then whispers into Darren's ear:
'We'll wait five minutes for them all to drop off then I'll help you finish that wank you started earlier.'
'What the fuck? We can't man,' whispers Darren, 'it's too risky'.
'We're at the back of the bus and they're all gonna be asleep,' says Max. 'Plus, it's more horny when it's risky,' he flashes Darren a dirty grin and Darren's cock goes semi hard there and then.
A few minutes later, when all of the lads are sleeping, Max puts his hand down the front on Darren's trackies and boxers and starts to play with his cock.
Max whispers to Darren:
'You're really turning me on you little scally boy, the fact that you're all in white is so horny. When we get back to Walford I'm gonna make you wash all the cars in the garage wearing that white scally outfit, see what you look like when your white gear gets wet.'
'Fuck yeah Max,' groans Darren. 'We could have a water-fight - you in one of your sexy suits that show off your tight arse.'
'Mmmm yeah,' says Max.
Max then surprises Darren by yanking the younger lads cock out the top of his trackies, so his eight inches stand tall against his white Lactose polo shirt. Although his cock is thin, it is still an impressive sight. Max runs his hand through Darren's brown pubes, which are trimmed really short, then starts wanking Darren's cock hard and fast. Less than a minute's wanking is all it takes, before Darren is spurting four big loads of cum over his polo shirt.
'Fuck, my shirt man, the others will see,'
Max then rubs the cum into Darren's polo shirt with his hand, before licking his hand clean. By now it is evident that Max has a massive boner desperate to be released from inside his suit trousers.
Darren whispers to Max:
'Do you know how many fantasies I've had over you, wearing that grey suit, fucking me over the desk of the garage?'
'You ever seen an 11 inch cock Darren?' replies Max.
'Don't be ridiculous, there's no such thing,' laughs Darren.
'Well I've got one, says Max, flashing his dirty grin again. 'Wanna see?'
Darren doesn't need asking twice and unzips the flies of Max's grey suit trousers. He gropes Max's beast through his grey Armani boxers, before unbuttoning the pants.
Max's boner springs to life through the open flies. It sticks up through the fly - 11 inches, fat and cut, surrounded by thick ginger pubes.
'Holy fuck,' whispers Darren. 'Now that is what I call a cock.'
Darren doesn't have the chance to say anything more as Max has grabbed the back of Darren's head and is pushing him downwards towards his meat.
He greedily gobbles the first few inches, but having never sucked a cock before, he is soon gagging on it. Max couldn't care less though and keeps his head on Darren's hair, forcing the scally down further and further.
Darren soon gets into a steady rhythm, sucking Max's meaty cock. He can't manage it all in his mouth but manages to get about three quarters of it down his throat.
Max soon closes his eyes and gets lost in sexual ecstasy and takes his hand off Darren's head. Moments later and without any warning he starts to release load after load of cum into Darren's mouth. However, Darren, who has never had a lad cum in his mouth before, pulls away in surprise and spits a massive mouthful of cum onto Max's light grey suit trousers.
Max opens his eyes and spots the cum on his trousers. He puts his cock away and furiously whispers to Darren.
'You stupid cunt. Why didn't you swallow it, or warn me you weren't gonna swallow? A, these trousers are Armani and that stains gonna be a nightmare to get out. B, all of the other lads are gonna see it now.'
Darren looks really upset.
'I'm sorry Max, really I am. I'll make it up to you.'
Yeah,' replies Max. 'You will. You're gonna tell the lads that your a dirty cunt and that while we were all asleep you had your wank and that you sprayed on my trousers.'
'No way,' says Darren. 'They will crucify me.'
''Do it,' says Max, 'and I'll do anything sexual you ask me this weekend. And I mean ANYTHING.'
Darren, whose cock is almost semi again, doesn't need asking twice and quickly agrees.
While their encounter on the back row has been taking place, all of the other lads in the bus have been sound asleep. All that is except Sean Slater, who's sitting a few rows in front next to Mickey. He turned round 10 minutes earlier and spotted Max being sucked off by Darren. Being bisexual himself, Sean plans to cash in on this knowledge over the weekend. But that doesn't solve his problem of being horny as fuck right now. Sean has a massive fetish for sweaty workmen, so having Mickey sitting next to him, sweaty as fuck, in dirty work gear, is turning him on even more. Convinced that Mickey is asleep, he decides to touch the younger lad up. What he doesn't realise is that although Mickey's eyes are closed, he is wide awake, or that Mickey is secretly gay and has a massive thing for Sean, so the slightest touch from the ex soldier will turn him on like nothing else.
Sean begins by placing a large hand on Mickey's dirty old grey Adidas trackies. Shocked by the move, Mickey almost asks Sean what the fuck he's doing straight away. However, overcome by curiosity - and horniness - Mickey decides to continue pretending to be asleep and see what happens next.
Sean has spent ages staring at the hole in the thigh of Mickey's trackies and waists no time poking a finger in. He is delighted to discover that Mickey is commando, so rips the hole a tiny bit more and pokes a second finger through, exploring Mickey's hairy thighs.
His fingers are soon touching Mickey's hairy balls so Sean gives them a good grope then pulls his fingers out to sniff - sweaty as fuck - he wishes he could take the balls in his gob there and then. Sean puts his fingers back in and starts massaging Mickey's balls, then daringly pokes a finger up his sweaty hairy ass hole. Sean puts his other hand up Mickey's footy shirt and starts exploring his chest. He has a massive fetish for armpits so soon starts running his hand over Mickey's sweaty pits - really hairy, just the way Sean loves them, the sign of a real man. Sean is now totally overcome with horniness so decides to just go for it. He slides a hand inside Mickey's trackies and starts playing with his cock. Mickey's cock grows fast in Sean's hand and is soon fully erect. Sean is totally shocked - he never had Mickey down as someone who would have a big knob but it's more than 9 inches, fat and uncut. It's surrounded by thick blond pubes, which blend into a blond treasure trail and hairy belly.
Mickey himself, who is still pretending to be asleep, is the horniest he can ever remember being and wants Sean so badly.
However, just at that moment, Jack, who is sitting in the separate front compartment driving the bus, shouts loudly
'Wakey wakey lads, we're nearly there.'
Sean immediately pulls his hand out of Mickey's trackies and flattens his own semi down.
Mickey is completely fucked - as he's commando, his solid cock is pointing straight up in his trackies and his cock is too big for him to push it down. He decides to continue pretending to be asleep and act dumb.
All of the lads wake up, yawning and stretching. Billie puts his hand in his pants to rearrange his balls and soon they are all awake - except Mickey, who is still pretending to be asleep.
'Fucking hell,' shouts Martin. 'Look everyone, Mickey's got a massive boner!!'
'Dirty fuck,' says Sean, hitting Mickey's arm, 'getting turned on next to me'.
Mickey pretends to wake up.
'Fucking hell lads, I was having a filthy dream then, my cock must have got carried away! I'm really sorry.'
He covers his crotch and tries to push his hard on down - with great difficulty - but luckily the lads change the subject.
The lads then arrive at their destination. They are in the middle of a secluded forest. There is a hut, a campfire, a shallow stream and a muddy swamp like pit. Although its sunny now it's been raining all day so they ground is really muddy and slippery. Everyone starts to pile out of the mini bus one by one. Leon is desperate for a piss so tries to rush push his way out quickly but slips and lands on his side it the mud. He gets up and has mud all down the side of his Chelsea kit. Darren has a massive fetish for lads in muddy kit, so is massively perving on Leon trying not to get hard again. He imagines how hot it would be to wrestle in that mud with Leon.
Meanwhile, Jack is the last person to get out of the bus. He is locking the vehicle up and trips backwards over a branch shouting 'Fuckkkkk'. He rolls down the bank and lands in the stream, which, although shallow, totally covers him in water.
He stands up, waist deep in water. His white Lactose polo shirt is totally soaked and has gone see-through. It is clinging to him and clearly showing his toned six pack. Mickey, Sean and Darren are all totally mesmerized by the sight of his fit body through his tight wet shirt.
'Can someone fucking help me out?' shouts Jack.
Martin runs to his rescue and helps pull him up, a bit of water splashes on Martin's tshirt and footy shorts. Jack gets out the water and his jeans are also soaked and clinging to him.
'For fucks sake,' says Jack. 'I ain't got a change of clothes and I ain't even got any underwear on. What the hell am I gonna do? I'm soaked through and I'm bloody freezing.'
'Why aint you got any pants on bruv?' asks Max.
'Just because I've been going commando lately, letting it all hang free,' replies his brother.
'You dick!' laughs Max. `Well you're gonna have to put your jeans and t-shirt by the fire to dry. And we've all only got the clothes we're wearing so nobody's gonna be able to lend you anything. Which means you're gonna have to get naked mate. Unless you're scared to do that bruv cos all of that lads will see your tiny cock?!'
'Shut up Max' says Jack. 'Every bird I've ever fucked has been more than happy with the size of my meat. I've never had any complaints on that score.. I just don't particularly fancy getting naked in front of all the lads.'
Darren, who is absolutely desperate to see Jacks cock, then chips in:
'Don't be so stupid Jack, none of us could give a shit.'
'Fuck it,' says Jack. 'You're right Darren.'
With that, Jack peels off his wet polo shirt, revealing his toned six pack – his chest is covered in black hair. He then unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down.
There's no denying that Jack's cock is pretty big – both long and fat – even when floppy. It is surrounded by a really thick black bush. Darren is mesmerised by it. Around the other side, Sean is slyly getting a look at Jack's firm, toned bum and muscley thighs.
The lads start heading inside the hut and Jack sits down naked on a bed. Darren sits down next to him, his hand inches away from Jack's cock trying to resist the urge to touch it – his own dick getting semi hard.
Most of the lads are now in the hut and Max is about to go in too when Sean grabs him.
A word Max. Now.'
Sean drags Max round the side of the hut and roughly pushes him against it.'
`What you doing you little cunt?' whispers Max.
'I saw what happened between you and Darren on the bus,' says Sean.
Max looks totally panic stricken then after a few seconds utters: 'Fuck'.
However, Sean then surprises Max by adding '... And I liked it.'
A dirty grin appears on Sean's face.
'What the fuck?' asks Max 'Are you saying you're bi too?'
'You bet,' says Sean, giving his crotch a grope through his suit trousers as though to confirm that fact.
Do you know how many years I've lusted over you Max?,' says Sean. Well this weekend I reckon my dirty fantasies could finally be coming true.'
A filthy grin appears on Max's face. 'I reckon you could be right Sean, you dirty little bastard,' he says, groping the crotch of Sean's black suit trousers with one of his big strong hands.
'At some point this weekend Max, I want me and you to double fuck that little scally Darren,' says Sean.
'Sounds like a plan,' says Max.
'But right now,' adds Sean. 'I want you to take care of my cock.'
Max doesn't need telling twice and unzips Sean's suit trousers. He then unbuttons Sean's white boxers and pulls his already semi hard cock out of the fly hole so it is sticking out the fly of both his boxers and his suit. Max starts running his hand up and down it and it is soon fully erect sticking out of Sean's fly, about 9 inches and really chunky. His light pubes have been trimmed short making it look even bigger.
Max starts furiously wanking Sean's cock with his right hand.
'Stop,' whispers Sean.
'What?' replies Max.
'I don't want no puney hand job Max,' says Sean, 'get on your knees and suck me dry.'
`I can't,' says Max, 'the ground is covered in mud and it will look odd if my knees are filthy - plus this suit is Armani.'
Sean slams Max into the wall and his face is almost touching Max's.
'I thought you were a dirty fucking cunt, just like me, says Sean, breathing heavily in Max's face. 'If you were then you'd care more about my soldier cock than about your fucking suit. Plus... I'm sure you'll get a chance to ruin my suit this weekend.'
With that, Sean shoves his tongue into Max's mouth. The pair enjoy a rough snog for five minutes, swapping saliva and running their hands all over each other's clothed bodies. Then Max eventually pulls away and says 'Fuck it' and drops to his knees. In one mouthful he takes all of Sean's cock and greedily gobbles it. A minutes good sucking is all it takes and Sean is shooting one then two loads of cum down Max's throat.
Thinking he's finished, Max then pulls away, but Sean shoots another two loads, one on Max's lips and the other over his face. He then pulls Max up and kisses him again, tasting his own cum.
However, little do the pair realise that one of their mates has come looking for them and has seen everything that just happened...