Eagle

I was 26 years old and had spent 21 of those years in school. I'd just had a Ph.D. in psychology conferred on me and could no longer avoid going out into the real world. The reasons behind the efforts to shield myself from reality were too complex, or so I thought at the time, to be easily or quickly unraveled even for a professional, so I dodged the issue entirely.

I did manage to land a job which, while appearing to take me out into reality, still afforded a sheltered and unreal environment in which to live and work. Through a lawyer friend in D.C. I was offered and accepted a job as a therapist on a Native American reservation in the southwest. For reasons which will become obvious I won't name the exact location.

The people I worked with had not struck it rich with casinos or bingo. Most of their problems stemmed from the impoverished living situation in which they were all but trapped. I had to deal with the issues of spousal abuse, child abuse and neglect as well as pervasive substance abuse, most especially alcohol.

I'd been there about three months when, late on a Friday afternoon, I was approached by Stephanie O'Connor, a young woman who was the reservation's Social Worker. She'd been trying to encourage a young man with whom she'd been working to come to me for counseling. He'd resisted all of her efforts so she was came to me in the hope that I would reach out to him. His name was Joseph Waterman, but his Indian name was Dancing Eagle; he went by just Eagle.

Eagle was 19, and according to Stephanie highly gifted. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, he had a real problem with alcohol and had repeatedly been in trouble with the law off and on the reservation. Stephanie was certain that if positive changes didn't occur soon Eagle would end up in prison or worse.

She went on to share more information about the young man. His father had been killed under suspicious circumstance when Eagle was only six and his mother had died of acute alcoholism when he was ten. He lived with his grandfather in an old mobile home on a remote corner of the reservation. Eagle had dropped out of school after the 9th grade and had not been able to find a decent job. Occasional drinking binges blossomed into a full- blown drinking problem.

Since the next day was Saturday, I told Stephanie I'd drive out to the trailer and at least meet the boy. I made no promises, after all you can't really help someone unless they let you. Still it was my job. Since he was so young, I thought I might be able to do something for him. It would certainly be a boost to have a success in a place where it was in such short supply.

The next morning, instead of sleeping-in I got up at my regular weekday time, showered, had breakfast and was in my Jeep by 9:00 heading out. It was still cool, only 87 degrees, but it would soon hit triple digits. I wanted to get this done so that I could return to the comfort of air conditioning. Don't ever believe anyone who tells you you can't feel the heat when it dry. 100+ is HOT, humid or dry.

As I pulled up to the mobile home, I have to admit, I was honestly but pleasantly surprised to find it in fairly good shape and tidy. A wizened old man was seated under a canopy whittling. He glanced up once as I pulled up and then returned his attention to what he'd been doing. I assumed correctly that this was the grandfather. He finally looked up at me a second time as I approached his chair.

"Must be looking for Eagle," he said without any sign of curiosity.

"Yes sir. I'm Jim Kolby."

"I know who you are, the new head doctor. You got a handful with Eagle. Got more brains than any two others, just don't use 'em, that's the trouble. Maybe you can talk sense to him, he don't listen to me no more. I give him a home and food, can't do no more than that. I'm almost 80, don't know what'll happen to him when I die if things don't change. He's in his bedroom, go on in," he said pointing to the door on his left, "down the hall to the door at end. No need to knock, he won't hear you. Just go on into the room and yell 'til he comes to. Good luck, you'll need it. Eagle's one tough bird." I left him laughing at his own pun.

The interior of the trailer was just as neat as the outside, nothing elaborate but clean and obviously well kept. I went from the living room through the kitchen and down the short hall to the closed door at the end. Despite what the old man said I knocked. Nothing. I knocked again, louder. Still nothing. I reached down and slowly turned the knob. I carefully opened the door until I could see into the room.

I was captivated. Uncovered and completely unclothed, he looked like some legendary warrior chief frozen in time awaiting a mystical call to rise up. Masculine beauty personified. Long, thick ebony hair splayed behind his head framing a face rugged and majestic, as if sculpted from the rust colored stone of the surrounding landscape. His arched nose was proud and regal, his full lips soft and sensuous. His body took my breath away. Flawless muscles, gained not through hours of artificial exercise, but from natural physical activity, a totally uncultivated physique, the epitome of manly strength. His chest was hard and defined, his legs and thighs strong and solid. His skin had the smoothness of velvet with the sheen and hue of copper. But it was the center of him that held me entranced. Rising out of its small nest of shiny black curls was his penis. Flaccid, it was nonetheless thick, arcing down a good five inches, resting gently on oversized testicles. I wasn't sure if it was semi-hard or not, but the tip of the glans was just peeking out of its tight skin hood.

I was shocked and shaken, not merely by the beauty before me, but by my reaction to it. I'd never been a sexual creature, I'd always considered myself asexual, lacking interest in either women or men. Except for wet dreams, the contents of which I never remembered, my sexual releases were virtually nonexistent. I'd only ever masturbated a dozen times or so, not at all in the past seven years. Now I was undeniably aroused.

"What the fuck you lookin' at man? And what the fuck you doin' in my room anyways?"

The hostile tone of his voice snapped me back to reality. I felt my face flush, I managed to stammer out a self introduction, "I ah. . . I'm ah. . .Jim Kolby, er . . .Dr. Kolby."

"So you're a doctor, that a fact? Well I ain't sick. But you wanna do a physical, I'm ready." He laughed, making no attempt to hide his nakedness.

"I'm not that kind of doctor," I said still blushing. "I'm a psychologist. Stephanie O'Connor asked me to see you."

"Good ole Miss O'Connor, she's hell bent on savin' me. So what is it that you're supposed to do for me?"

"I'm not sure I can do anything for you, but I may be able to help you help yourself."

"Yeah? How?"

"Talking mostly. That's why I came out here, to ask you to make an appointment so we can talk."

"We can talk right now Doc, here sit down next to me." He did a quarter turn and moved toward the far side of the bed so his back was to the wall, he propped his head up on his crooked arm. The movement made his cock flop up so that I had my first view of it's underside. I could feel my body temperature rising.

"Uh. . . er. . . I. . .uh. . .I think we'd better talk in my office. Can you come to see me Monday, let's say 4:00 in the afternoon?"

"OK, Doc, relax. I'll be there."

"Promise?'

"Count on it."

I drove back to the small house where I lived, my mind a confused jumble of thoughts. I did my best to deny and push away most of them, but there was one thing I could not will away. I was hornier than I'd ever remembered being. As I got out of the Jeep my cock was pushing against the fabric of my jeans, so rock hard it hurt. I was glad nobody was around, they wouldn't have missed the huge bulge I was sporting. I looked down at it, a large wet spot was obvious at the point where the head jutted out. I ran from the car to the front door and once inside I headed straight for the bedroom, peeling out of my clothing as I went. By the time I hit my still unmade bed I was as naked as Eagle had been.

I fisted the throbbing rod. It demanded my total attention. My hand became came a blur stroking up and down; my legs went rigid; my pelvis thrust back and forth; my entire body was coated in a thin layer of sweat despite the air conditioning; my mind was awash with images of Eagle's body, his face, his cock. His cock, so big and thick. I felt a hunger. I pictured myself consuming it, I imagined it consuming me; my body went totally tense, a tremor rose up from my inner core and spread until I was shaking. Then came the explosion. Hot molten liquid propelled itself up from my balls, through the seven inch shaft and finally jettisoned from the slit of my meaty circumcised head, showering me until I was drenched in my own seed. I'd never had an orgasm so intense, so exhausting. I crumpled up, still clutching my softening member tightly in my hand and drifted away from a reality I did not wish to confront into a deep sleep. It was already late afternoon when I finally awoke. My torso was encrusted with dried cum. I got up and took a shower, scrubbing my skin clean of all evidence of my private debauchery. As the physical evidence washed down the drain, I wiped out all that had happened from my mind. It seems impossible to believe that I could do so, but I'd had years of experience doing exactly that and I did it again. Once I stepped out of the shower I left behind all conscious thoughts of the day's events.

Eagle showed up for that first session on Monday. He was my last appointment of the day. I'd invited Stephanie O'Connor to dinner that evening so I asked Eagle if he'd like to join us. He seemed to be both surprised and pleased; it turned out to be a enjoyable evening for all. It also set sort of a pattern. Eagle's regular appointment was always the last one every Monday and he always stay for dinner; sometimes Stephanie would join us, most times not. As the weeks went by he started to spend Saturdays around my house, doing odd jobs for which I paid and fed him.

I really enjoyed having him around and we were becoming friends. I know it is clinically frowned on to get personally close to a person you have in therapy, but Eagle was not a usual patient. Besides he was doing wonderfully in therapy. He'd stopped drinking; started taking better care of himself; he'd enrolled in the reservation's GED program and seemed really happy.

So it went for nine months. Then something happened. I didn't see the significance of it on that Saturday afternoon. Eagle was installing shelves in my bedroom closet and I went into town to do some shopping, at least a three hour trip. I driven about 20 minutes when I stopped for gas. It was then that I discovered I'd left my wallet behind. I knew just where it was, on the corner of the dresser, just inside my bedroom door. I had no alternative, I had to go back for it.

I pulled the Jeep up to my house and heard the distinctive thump of heavy metal coming from inside. I walked into the door and was deafened by the blast from my bedroom stereo. I smiled to myself, Eagle would be shocked to see me and embarrassed by how loud the music was.

It was me who was shocked and embarrassed however. As I got to the door I saw Eagle naked and stretched out on my bed, on his side with his back to the door, hugging one of my pillows. Though I couldn't see it, it was obvious that he was well into a session of masturbation. I froze, but quickly took command of myself. I knew there was no way I'd better watch the sight in front of me. I also knew that Eagle would freak out if he knew I'd seen him. I grabbed my wallet from the dresser without even entering the room and, as Eagle would say, hauled ass. I was certain Eagle would never know I'd been there.

As I drove down the road images of Eagle on my bed, hugging my pillow, stroking his hard, thick cock filled my thoughts. I boned up hard. I had to force myself not to pull off the road, run into the desert and spray my load over the wild rugged landscape. Again I forced my mind away from its natural course and drove away the impressions of sexual passion which seemed lodged in my chest. Instead I began a clinical assessment of what Eagle's masturbatory technique signified. By the time I got to town things were back to normal.

When I got back home, four hours later, Eagle was gone. He'd written a note saying his grandfather had called him. I was disappointed, but understood, or thought I did. The following Monday, Eagle didn't show up for his appointment and didn't call. I picked up the phone and dialed the number at his grandfather's trailer. After eight rings I was beginning to worry that maybe something had happened to the old man; I was about to hang-up when the grandfather answered.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Waterman, this is Dr. Kolby, do you know where Eagle is?"

"Oh, hi Doc, glad you called, sorry I took so long to answer, I was outside, been meaning to put a phone out by my chair, but ain't never got 'round to it. Yeah, like I said I'm glad you called. Eagle is here, back in his bedroom, just laying there in the dark. Says he has a headache, but I think its more than that. I'm kinda worried, he ain't been like this in months, I'm afraid he might go get liquored up."

"Do you think it might do so good if I came on out?"

"I didn't want to ask, but I think that might be a good idea. You've done so much for the boy, I'd hate to see it all go for nothing."

"I'll come right out."

Twenty minutes later I was knocking on Eagle's bedroom door. There was no answer. I cautiously opened the door and stuck my head in. There he was on his bed totally naked.

"Eagle, it's Jim."

"Hey, Doc, sorry I didn't call you. You didn't have to come out here."

"What's wrong Eagle?" I knew the answer before asking the question. He had all the symptoms of clinical depression.

"Nothing you can help me with, Doc."

"Don't be so sure, I'm pretty good at what I do."

"You can't fix what's wrong with me, nobody's that good."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not now. Maybe another time, but not now. I'm just bummed, I'll get over it."

I wasn't convinced, but I didn't feel I should push it. I simply said, "if you need to talk to me you know you can call at anytime of the day or night."

"I know that, Doc, thanks. Don't worry, I'll bounce back, I always do."

I was worried. Few people bounce back from clinical depression without help and sometimes even medication. I didn't see or hear from Eagle during the entire week. I was tempted to go out to see him, but didn't want to pressure him. I figured he'd show up on Saturday and we'd have a chance to talk then.

The ringing of the phone woke me with a start. I looked over at the clock's digital display, 2:18. Who could be calling at that hour of the morning. I groped for the phone in the dark, bringing it to my face.

"Hello?"

"Is this Dr. Kolby?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Well Doc, this is Deputy Hal Branley, down at the Santa Madalana substation. We got a young buck name of Joe Waterman down here. Says you're his doctor, says you'll post bail for him."

"I am his doctor, psychologist actually. What's he done?"

"One of the fellas picked his ass up on Highway 19. He was drunk out of his head, hitchhiking down the road buck naked."

"God!" I blurted it out.

"If you want to bail him out, we can release him in your custody, but you'll be responsible for him coming in for his court appearance Monday morning. If you don't want to, he'll be a guest of the county over the weekend, 'less someone else posts bail. It's set at $1,000, but for you we'll waive it."

"I appreciate that. I'll pick him up, be there in about an hour."

"OK, Doc, we'll have the paperwork ready."

It was after 4:00 before Eagle and I got back to my place. He was wrapped in a blanket load to us by the sheriff's office and still quite drunk. During those periods when he hadn't dozed off he spent alternately telling me he was sorry and how much he loved me, typical drunken ranting. I hustled him into the house and down to my bedroom. I knew he'd better have the bed since he'd probably sleep lots more than I was going to. I would be perfectly comfortable sacking out on the couch for a few hours.

Once we were in the bedroom he let the blanket slip from his shoulders standing there in all his magnificence. I let my eyes linger on the sight for a moment and then forced myself back to the here and now. I hadn't made the bed when I left so I straightened out the sheets and coverlet, pulled down the covers and fluffed the pillows.

"OK, Eagle, hit the hay. You need sleep more than anything else. After you've slept it off we'll talk."

He plopped down on the edge of the mattress and then slid his bare skin between the sheets that had covered me a few hours earlier. I looked down at him, the sheer manly beauty of that face held my eyes longer than it should have. He was staring back at me; when our eyes met, a shiver coursed through my body. I smiled at him, he smiled back. I cleared my throat and forced myself to sound clinical.

"Hope you don't have too big a headache. Get some sleep and I'll see you when you wake up." I turned to leave.

"Where you goin'?"

I turned toward him, "I'm sleeping on the couch."

He raised himself up, leaning back propped up on his elbows. "Hey man, I ain't sleepin' in your bed alone, I need somebody next to me." He looked up at me with his sparkling brown eyes; I doubt I could have denied him anything at that moment.

"OK, OK. Just don't blame me if I snore," trying to sound lighthearted. Actually my heart was racing. I knew there was nothing I wanted more than to sleep next to this man. My skin tingled with fear, fear that life would never be the same again. I kicked off my sandals, slid out of my shorts and skinned off my tee-shirt. I usually changed into boxers before going to bed, but I got under the covers wearing my briefs. I laid on my side, my back to Eagle, my face out toward the room.

Suddenly I felt his body come in against mine. He draped his strong right arm around me, pulling me closer to him. The hot touch of his naked flesh against my body took the breath from me. I tensed; my heart raced; a flush spread throughout my entire body; my cock beyond hard. As I drifted through time I began to relax. I resumed breathing; my heartbeat returned to normal; my cock remained rock rigid. The warmth of his breath against the nape of my neck, the strength of his arm holding me, the solid mass of muscles seeming to surround me. I'd never been so secure, so at peace, so content. Eagle's evenly paced breathing signaled his sleeping, I slowly slipped away to join him.

When I awoke the room was filled with the light of midmorning. Eagle was still holding me. I gently pushed away from his embrace and sat upright on the edge of the bed. I tried to make sense of my feelings. The answer was obvious, but I didn't want to deal with reality, not then. I shook my head and got to my feet. My briefs were jutting out with 7 inches of manmeat. I went to the bathroom, standing in front of the porcelain bowl until blessed relief came as my bladder drained its contents and the starch went out of my pecker. I took a long cold shower and once again pushed my feeling into the dark regions of my brain.

After drying off I returned to the bedroom, a towel wrapped around my waist. Eagle was on the bed, just as I'd left him only a pillow had replaced my body. He was holding it like a sleeping child held on to his teddy bear, the way he had a week earlier when I'd discovered him beating off. I dropped my towel and slipped into a light pair of sweat shorts. I'd decided it was going to be one of those rare kick back and do-nothing kinda days.

I went into the kitchen, poured myself a large glass of orange juice and headed for the living room. I grabbed the new Anne Rice novel I'd been meaning to start for the past three months and stretched out on the couch. I'd just started Chapter 5 when I heard, "how pissed are you?"

I looked up from the book. He was standing there wrapped in the towel I'd left on the bedroom floor. "Depends," I said cracking a half-smile.

"On what?"

"On if this is a sign of things to come or just a one time fuck up?"

"I'll be fine. As bad as it was, last night helped. I sorta have things figured out. At least I think I do."

"I don't understand. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, not now. My head's still a little fuzzy, I wanna kinda like get my head together before I talk about it, but I'm really happy for the first time in years."

"Sounds good to me even if it doesn't make any sense. I'm here when you're ready."

"What have you got for me to do today?"

"Today, my boy, we both need the day off. You're stuck here with me until court on Monday, I'm going to read, cook, eat and sleep. You may do anything you'd like except leave, sorry but that's the stipulation for you being released in my custody."

"Hey, its cool with me. You sure you don't have a project for me?"

"Very sure. Just relax."

"Would you mind if I surfed the net?"

"Help yourself."

"Great, but I think I'd better shower first, I smell pretty ripe. You got any clothes I can borrow?"

"Sure help yourself to whatever. Do you want coffee or something to eat?"

"Ugh, just the idea makes me wanna puke."

"OK, but I'm cooking us some of my five alarm chili tonight, so you'd better get over it by 8:00."

"That gives me five hours, I'll do my best. Your chili is my favorite. You makin' cornbread too?"

"Can't have one without the other. Now let me get back to the book."

He headed off to shower while I rejoined Ms. Rice's witches in New Orleans. Twenty minutes later Eagle came into the living room wearing a pair of sweat shorts to match the ones I had on and nothing else. I watched him over the top of the book as he walked across the room to the computer station that was tucked into a small niche in the living room. He sat down, turned on the computer and was soon moving from web site to web site.

At 4:00 I moved into the kitchen to put together my secret chili recipe. "Want any help?" Eagle called over his shoulder. The kitchen was one of those opened numbers with just a sit-down counter separating it from the living room.

"No, I think I can handle it. Besides I want your stomach to have time to settle down enough to handle the chili." By 4:45 a pot of chili was simmering slowly, the bowls and utensils I'd used were washed. There was nothing to do until it was time to make the corn bread.

"Eagle, I'm going to take an hour's nap, everything's set in the kitchen. If I'm not up in 90 minutes come call me."

"You got it."

I awoke to Eagle massaging my shoulders. I'd been sleeping on my stomach, so he had total access to my back. His hands were kneading my muscles and flesh, it felt wonderful. I let out a slow moan. "That feels great, where did you learn to give massage?"

"You'd be surprise what I know how to do. I figured it was better than shaking you awake and you didn't move when I called your name."

"Well I'm awake now and you better stop before I get spoiled, besides it's already 6:30 and if you want corn bread I need to get cracking."

"OK, I gotta take a wiz anyways, but you can have a rain check on a full massage, just ask." He got up and walked out the room and into the bathroom. I just caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye, but I could have sworn the sweat shorts he was wearing were tented out. Could he have been sporting a hard on?

I must have been my imagination. The boner in my shorts was not imaginary however. I sure couldn't get up and walk around until the ole seven incher calmed down. Just as I heard the toilet flush I jumped up and grabbed my silk robe from out of the closet. That at least managed to camouflage the obvious bulge. Eagle was just coming out of the bathroom as I came down the hall. I couldn't help myself, I checked out his crotch, if his dick had been hard before there was no sign now. I put my arm around his shoulder, giving him a hard tug toward me.

"I really do enjoy having you around."

"I really enjoy being around."

I didn't want to go where this conversation was heading, so instead I said, "so, do you think you can manage to put together a salad while I whip up abatch of corn bread?"

"Are you kidding, I'm a salad expert." We both laughed breaking an unacknowledged tension.

We worked in the kitchen until a cucumber and tomato salad was in the frige and a skillet of cornbread was in the oven. Eagle went back to the computer and I to Anne Rice. It was almost as if we were each seeking solitary refuge.

At 7:30 I got up to take the cornbread out of the oven and check on the simmering chili. Eagle took this as his cue. He shut down the computer and started setting the table for dinner.

Dinner was perfect. We ate like field hands, as my grandmother would've said, each of us having two helpings of everything. We made small talk and laughed. The one time I tried to raise the subject of the previous night, Eagle cut me short, saying we'd talk about it tomorrow. "Tonight I just want to enjoy your company and celebrate the fact that I have such a good friend."

I could hardly argue the point, I simply said, "Thanks, it goes two ways." I realized as I said it that it was absolutely true. I couldn't remember ever being so comfortable with another person, never so happy just to be with someone. After dinner we watched Dances With Wolves on cable, each of us sitting on the couch with our feet on the coffee table. Of course we both booed the Cavalry. When the movie was over I shut off the TV using the remote and looked over at Eagle.

"Ready to hit the sack?"

"To be honest I was ready about an hour ago, I'm I sleeping with you again?"

I hadn't considered the possibility. "It's up to you. If you'd be more comfortable we can make up the couch. . ."

"Too much trouble. Didn't have any trouble sleeping last night, did you?"

My mind flashed back to early that morning when I lay in bed with his body pressed close to mine. "No, not a bit. But it wasn't last night it was this morning."

"My mistake," he said giving me his most innocent look.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Come on, let's go to bed."

We proceeded down to the bedroom. When we got there Eagle wasted no time in stripping off the sweat shorts. I grabbed a pair of boxers out of the dresser and headed toward the bathroom to change into them, take a piss and brush my teeth. I shouted back over my shoulder, "I have an extra toothbrush if you want to brush your teeth."

I expected he'd wait until I was finished; but, just as I was stripping off my shorts, he stepped into the room in all his natural glory. "Where the toothbrush?" he asked.

"Right in the medicine cabinet." At this point we were both standing there naked. He proceeded to open the cabinet selecting one of the three boxed Oral Bs that were on the first shelf. I shrugged my shoulders in resignation stepping up to the bowl and proceeding to empty my very full bladder. For some reason the fact that I was doing so naked and in front of Eagle sent a thrill through my genitals making the moment almost erotic. I was just shaking the last golden drops from the head of my penis as Eagle was rinsing out his mouth. I flushed the toilet and was wondering if I should pull on my boxers before brushing my teeth when he stepped up to the toilet as I moved away. He took hold of his thick sausage aiming it at the center of the bowl.

I decided to remain as naked as he while I brushed my teeth. I'll admit I watched him the whole time. When he finished peeing, instead of shaking it as I'd done, he gave the shaft three or four gentle strokes as though milking the last of the liquid out. I reached for my boxers as he flushed and was about to put them on.

"Do you really wear something to bed every night, even when you're alone?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I can't sleep unless I'm totally bare-ass, can't stand to be confined. You should try it. I guarantee once you've tried it you'll never go back."

"I don't know."

"Come on, don't be shy, you'll see, you'll feel free."

"What can it hurt. And if it'll shut you up it's worth it," I teased.

So we walked back to the bedroom, both naked, both acting like teenaged friends spending the night without chaperones.

He climbed into to bed on his side and I on mine. I shut the light and rested my head back on the pillow. It took some time for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. It was a moonless night, the dim starlight filtering in through the windows barely making shapes distinguishable. The silence was nearly complete, broken only by the sound of our breathing and the faraway hum of the refrigerator's motor. The sound of his voice, though almost a whisper, startled me when he spoke.

"I know you caught me doing it last week. I noticed the wallet missing as soon as I'd finished. That's why I was so down all week, worried about what you'd think of me. That's why last night happened. But now I'm glad it did. In the last twenty-four hours I figured it out."

"What?"

"I've figured it out. . . My life, I know what's been going on in my head, at least I've pieced it all together."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I said reverting to the safety of a clinical approach.

"That's what I'm doing. Do me a favor, please let me talk. Don't say anything 'til I'm done. OK?"

"OK."

"I've thought for a long time that I was a freak. When you're an Indian and a freak, what chance do you have? None, that's what I thought. So I fought against being a freak, tried not to think about it, ignore it, pushed it out of my life. All that did was make me crazy. I did things that I wouldn't have done otherwise.

"Then one day I'm hiding from the world and this guy strolls into my bedroom. He says he wants to help, only I know that he can't help fix what's wrong. But he's a nice guy, so I figure it can't hurt. I really like him so it gives me the push to get my act together. Then he catches me being freaky, I realize the real problem is still there and getting worse, so I go out on a toot. A cheap fifth of raspberry brandy will make me forget at least for a while.

"Wrong. Best money I ever spent. The booze didn't fog up the brain, instead it pulled off the blinders. Suddenly the whole thing comes clear to me, that's when I stripped out of my clothes. I know you won't believe me, but I didn't go dancing down the highway because I was drunk, I was the Eagle dancing out of joy. It just came up from my soul and I had to let it out. Course I couldn't explain what was happening to the deputy and after a couple of hours in a cell, I began doubting myself. But all day today convinced me I was right."

I waited a moment for him to continue, but he remained silent. "Right about what?" I asked.

"That I'm in love with you, that you're in love with me. That you're not a freak because of it and if you're not, I'm not."

I sat bolt upright in bed, reached over, turned on the light and looked at him. He was smiling and his eyes with the sparkle of dark amber. "Think about it; look me straight in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong."

I tried to deny it but my voice failed My mind was reeling; buried emotions and feelings rolled over my reasoning like a dust storm across the desert. I looked at his beautiful face and knew. Still I could say nothing.

He sat up beside me. He turned toward me, placed his hand up to my cheek so that I could feel the warmth of it though he'd still not touched me. He stroked my face, slide his hand behind my head and drew my face toward his. He closed his eyes as I felt his full lips touch my own. My lid shut gently and we were transported to a place I'd never been before. My soul released for the first time chose as its first act of free will to bind itself to his. My arms embraced him, our kissing lips parted, our tongues entwined. I eased him back down on the bed. I pulled back far enough so that I could see his entire face. Nothing had ever given me more pleasure than I felt at that moment gazing down at him. He looked directly into my eyes and spoke, "I love you."

It was as though something in my chest exploded. Suddenly I was possessed of a passion I didn't think possible. I fell on him, pulling him as close as possible. My mouth was locked on his, I tried to consume him as he did me. My hands moved over his hard body consigning the sensation of each ripple, mound and crevice to eternal memory. There was no way I could satisfy my hunger for him, I wanted to be an inexorable part of him, to synthesize and become one with him.

I was so engulfed in the intensity of my passion for him that it wasn't until he grasped my steel hard cock that I realized the ferocity of his own love making. We were like wild men clasped together in a choreographed battle of burning ardor. I had to have more of him. It took all my emotional and physical strength to push my body free of his grasp. I held him down on the bed and ran my tongue across his full lips, up the ridge of his jaw to his left ear. With its tip I probed ever accessible spot sending shivers through his body. I traced by way from his ear down the side of his neck and then to his chest. I lapped at the tight copper skin. I worked my way down to his left nipple suckling on it, nipping it gently with my teeth, sending another tremor through him. I moved onto his right tit giving it the same treatment as the left. I descended down to his hard, flat stomach, my tongue relishing the taste of him, I dipped into his navel and went lower still. I felt the first hint of the thick dark hair surrounding my ultimate prize. My chin grazed his shaft, I turned my head moving down to his right outer thigh.

I was now straddling him. I moved my body lower, my tongue reaching the start his leg. I moved across the strong limb until my tongue reached the hard but tender flesh of his inner thigh. His body was shivering. I moved down his leg, lapping as I went until I reached his right foot. I sat up on the bed raising his foot to my mouth. I stuck my tongue between each toe, sucked lasciviously on each and when I was finished with it I took up the left, doing the same to it. I continued my journey, moving up his left leg, doing to it what I'd done to the right in reverse order. I looked up to see his face, instead I saw nothing but the thick towering nine inch column of flesh standing proudly before me. The surprisingly pink head had emerged fully from its tight collar of skin and was gushing copious amounts of pure sex nectar out of its slit. The clear liquid coated the head, making it gleam, then ran down the hard shaft to moisten the huge balls tightly held in their sac at the base. The sight spurred me on, a moment later my tongue touch his testicles and for the first time I savored his essence.

As my tongue touched the center of his being Eagle groaned with pleasure. Neither he nor I could wait longer. I positioned myself up on my knees between his outstretched legs. I grasped the shaft in the fist of my right hand, lowered my head and took him in. The sensation of his manhood plunging into my mouth was gripping. At that moment I'd found what I was born to do. I made love to him through his penis. It was as though I'd done it every day of my life. I ran my tongue along the tender underside, across the meaty head, probed into the folds of the hood capturing the most delicious flavors of pure masculinity. I pumped my head up and down on it like some out of control piston, then slowed to a sensuous slow dragging of my lips and tongue over every sensitive inch.

Eagle was almost incoherent with ecstasy. His moans and groans were building in intensity and duration signaling that he couldn't last much longer. I was possessed. I wanted the explosion of his manly seed to fill my mouth, to drink of him from the depths of his existence. I took him to the hilt, felt the girth of him expand, stretching my lips, pushing against the sides of my throat. I withdrew until the head rested on the middle of my tongue and felt it jump as it pulsed out shot after shot of his thick, creamy juice. His yell was like a battle cry -- feral and strong. I drank of him. His hot load was in turn sweet, bitter and salty. It was my magic elixir, I gulped it down fearing there could never be enough to satisfy my thirst. My lips caressed his shaft and head, desperately trying to coax out one last drop. As his cries and moans subsided to mere whimpers of satisfaction and completion I still held him tightly. Only when the head receded into it fleshy hood did I finally release him.

He pulled me up to him, embracing me. His tongue shot its way into my mouth capturing the last flavors of his own offering. He raised his legs and wrapped them around my waist, throwing his hips up so that my pelvis had full access to his ass. My hard cock came to rest naturally in the crevice between the two hard mounds of his ass flesh. I looked down at him. He smiled up at me and said, "I want you inside me, I want you to mark me as your own, fill me up and spray my insides with your cum."

I reached for the bottle of Nivea lotion which was on the night stand. I squeezed out a glob on to my right hand and coated my prick. I had to take care not to handle it more than necessary, I was on the verge and any excess touching would have sent me over the top. When I was sure I was sufficiently lubricated I moved my hand between his cheeks and gently spread lotion around the tight opening. Then I aligned the tip of my cock with his entrance. I looked at him. "Are you sure you're ready for this."

"Yes. I know its going to hurt like hell the first time, but I've never wanted anything more in my life."

I pushed hips forward until my head touched his flesh. One more push and the head disappeared. Eagle's faced grimaced, but with his hands he reached around me until he grasp both sides of my ass then he pulled me forward with all his might impaling himself completely, my cock buried deep within him. He let out a growl and I held completely still. After several moments his face relaxed, then tautness of his body eased and he began to massage my member with the muscles of his ass. I took this as a sign to proceed. It began to move back and forth in long easy strokes, slowly building up sped until I was ramrodding in and out. The grasp of his legs on my waist tightened as he sensed the approaching eruption.

Never had I experienced anything so physically pleasurable, so heightened with intensity I felt I might not survive. I threw my head back, opened my mouth and roared. All my passions welled up and propelled out of me into the receptacle of my lover's body. It lasted only moments but it changed everything.

I fell against his chest, barely conscious. His legs loosened their grip and I slid out of him as he lowered his legs. We held each other and kissed. I knew then that I would never, could ever be without him.

That was eight years ago. We're still together, still in love. We live in New York City and work together providing therapy to those who have emotional difficulty adjusting to their sexuality. My beautiful man is now Dr. Joseph Waterman, but to me he'll always be Eagle.