DYLAN'S VACATION BACK HOME
Chapter 25
by Donny Mumford
I'm having dinner with Dodger and the boys tonight. The moms and their guys are having a night out without the 'kids' and the Barns family are eating at a restaurant in Cape May that has a Cape Cod style lobster dinner.
Ellie's too smart to fall for that so she and Chubby are on a dinner date. That leaves me, Dodger, and his boys. Walking off the beach, I ask Dodger, "What time do you want to do the food shopping?" He goes, "After we shower I guess. Let's say we'll be at your place around seven-thirty. That gives us an hour to clean-up at the motel. We've only got one bathroom for the three of us, so ya know...." His pickup truck is brazenly parked in an illegal 'no parking' spot right at the entrance to the beach. Everyone walking onto the beach, or leaving it, had to walk around the pickup. Dodger casually crumples the parking ticket under the pickup's windshield wiper, then drops it
on the street, saying, "You'll need to get us some booze too." Hmmm, I wasn't going to drink tonight but I guess It wouldn't be too cool of me to disappoint the guys considering they drove all the way down here for a visit.
I mumble, "Yeah, I'll take care of that when we get the food." Chubby and I give them a wave as Dodger drives over the crumbled parking ticket heading for their motel. Chubby chuckles, "The Army doesn't seem to have changed Dodger very much." I nod my head, "No, apparently not. Maybe he'll make a career out of it."
We walk the two blocks to our condo lugging the beach chairs and my beach bag. In our driveway, Chubby mutters, "Jesus, it's so friggin' hot and we're only two blocks from the ocean. I couldn't live here year round." We dump the beach stuff in the back of the Volvo and use the hose to wash sand from our feet and legs, then up the steps to the deck where there's at least a little breeze. Chubby asks, "You want a beer? We have time to chill out on the deck." Taking a deep breath, then laughing at my best intentions as they fly out the window, I'm like, "Sure, why not." My no-drinking plans for tonight are kaput already. Chubby and I have a beer and a cigarette listening to music and talking about our best guesses as to when the Moms we'll get married. Then Chubby wistfully says, "Can you believe we only have one more day in Wildwood. What happened to the week?" I'm like, "Yeah, it flew by, didn't it?" I see Ellie and Jessica come out on their deck with cocktails
that look like Charlie's strawberry daiquiris. We all wave at each other, smiling, then Chubby goes, "Stroke of good luck the Barns family rented there, huh?" I'm like, "Yeah, Charlie's a good playmate for me and Ellie's a good playmate for you." He says, "And Jessica is sneaking off to see her boyfriend, Tyrone, every chance she gets." I add, "Plus, all the 'rents get along really well too."
Finishing our beers, Chubby asks, "When are Dodger and the boys leaving?"
I tell him, "Tomorrow morning. Get this: from here the three of them are driving to Disney World. Dodger says it's practically on the way home."
Chubby laughs, "Oh my God, that's a ridiculous amount of driving." I mutter, "It's stupid is what it is, but we did it." We go inside and Chubby showers first while I answer some texts and emails. Ryan's text simply says, "It's over. I miss you, Dylan." Timmy's text says, "Ryan and Mike split." Huh, that's too bad. I wonder what happened, but I don't ask. Instead I text Ryan, "Sorry to hear things didn't work out. Looking forward to seeing you at Merrimack." I almost asked about the golf clubs but I don't want to seem pushy.
My text to Tim, says, 'I miss that SUV of your mother's.' Actually I don't miss the adventures with Tim very much. His and his two inch dick in his mother's SUV weren't the high light of my sexual experiences, but there's no reason to hurt the guy's feelings.
Chubby comes out of the bathroom followed by a cloud of steam, asking, "Can I wear that Polo pull-over you bought when we were shopping at Rockingham Mall? The gray one with the white collar." I nod my head, "Absolutely, bro," and I enter the steam bath for my shower. I don't know how he can stand shower water that hot. After showering I put shaving cream on my face and shave thinking back to when Charlie asked me why I shaved every day. He naturally assumes that I need to shave since I'm twenty-one. The peach fuzz I noticed on my upper lip last week not only didn't come in thicker, it didn't come back at all. Not that I can see anyway. What's up with that? Fuck it; I'll persevere with the shaving until something happens. I don't know why everything has to happen to me, or in this case, doesn't happen to me.
When I come out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist, Chubby's about ready to leave. He rubs my head, saying, "You've got some hair on your head, bro, and it looks good." I go, "Yeah, it's a nice change. Hey, you're looking good too, Chub. Nice fuckin' shirt!" He chuckles as I ask, "Where you taking Ellie for dinner?" He shrugs, "Someplace that has a liquor license I guess; maybe Stone's Crab Shack. It's gonna be cool legally ordering a cocktail before dinner, and maybe I'll ask for the wine list too." I'm like, "Do you want a note from your big brother verifying that your ID is authentic?" He goes, "Heh, heh, maybe next time." We hug, as I mutter, "Have fun, Chub." He mumbles, "You too, Dylan." I watch him go out the door kind of wishing he was taking me out to dinner. That's silly I know, but still...
No need for me to get dressed-up, not for Dodger and the boys. I find a clean t-shirt, then baggy basketball shorts that I like because I don't need underwear. There's a flimsy sort of jock strap in the shorts, and the silky material feels good on my junk. Stepping into sandals I'm ready to go.
That beer I had with Chubby was okay although I'm not referring to the taste, but rather that it went down okay. Guess I'm finally over last night's hangover. Absolutely no shots of any kind of hard liquor tonight though! Not for me... none of that shit. I'll have a couple of beers to be sociable, but that's it! I simply couldn't handle another hangover tomorrow. Jeez, it is hard to believe tomorrow's our last real day here in Wildwood. Saturday it's the ball-busting pack-up and leave day. It doesn't feel like I got nearly as much out of this week as compared to last year. It seems I was way more reckless and crazy with side-sex last year, but then last year it seemed like there were sexual opportunities every day with fairly hot/sexy guys.
That just didn't materialize this summer. Now that I think about it, maybe I wasn't openly looking for those opportunities like I was last year.
Robby's and my love affair has never been this tight for one thing, and to be honest, earlier this summer Ryan and I had some very hot side-sex so maybe I'm not as 'hungry' for one night stands as I used to be.
Whatever, I'm very contended right now and then there the reunion with Robby to look forward to. He always makes our reunion's special. Oh, and I can't forget my new buddy, Charlie; he's been almost the perfect vacation side-sex-buddy. Nice dick on that cute kid too. I don't know why I think of him as a 'kid' though. I mean he is twenty years old, not eighteen or something. Interrupting my thoughts, my cell phone beeps; it's a text from Dodger telling me they're here. Huh, that was quick. Turning around I see Vinnie's face pressed against the glass of the French doors. He waves, so I chuckle waving back like a goof, then walk over to open the door. "Hey, Vinnie, where's Dodger?" He goes, "Oh, hi Dylan!" like he's surprised it's me. I'm like, "Where are the guys?" He goes, "Oh, they're in the truck. Dodger thought you'd be ready to go." Shaking my head, I'm like, "Will you please stop acting dumb, Vinnie! That act's getting old." He goes, "Um, whaddaya mean?"
grinning at me. I have to laugh as I'm stepping out on the deck, then pull his stubby ponytail, asking, "Did Dodger sent you to fetch me figuring the text he just sent might be too confusing for me?" Vinnie goes, "I don't know," and I snort out a laugh. Fucking Vinnie. He follows me down the deck's outdoor steps with me asking, "What was your college GPA freshman year?"
He goes, "Um, 4.0, I think." Another snort of a laugh from me.
At the pick-up Dodger says, "Vinnie, would you mind squeezing into the back seat? Norman's too tall and Dylan's gonna be hopping out at the package store in two blocks." Vinnie frowns, like he's thinking about the ramifications of him being the one relegated to the back seat, then nods his head and gets in the back. Dodger goes, "Thanks, Vin, love ya, bro!" I get in rolling my eyes, as Norman asks, "How ya doing, Dylan?" I imitate what he always says, and mutter, "Oh, not so bad." He goes, "You betcha."
As Dodger drives he tells a joke: "This skinny, middle-age guy goes in a bar and sees a big jar full of twenty dollar bills. He orders a martini and asks about the jar. The bartender tells him it cost twenty bucks to find out how he could win the whole jar for himself, and adds that there's over a thousand dollars in the jar. The skinny guy puts twenty bucks in the jar and the bartender tells him there are three tests he needs to pass to win the money. I- drink a whole bottle of pepper tequila. 2- pull the impacted tooth on the pit bull chained up in the back yard, and 3- go upstairs and give a good hard fucking to the bartender's ninety year old grandmother who hasn't had it in sixty years. Well, the guy has three martinis thinking about the thousand bucks and finally grabs the pepper tequila bottle and gulp, gulp, gulps the whole bottle with tears running down his face. Really drunk now he goes out back to the chained pit bull and everyone in the bars hears barking, yelping, screaming, growling and then yipping from the pit bull, then quiet mewing sounds from either the pit bull or the drunk skinny guy.
He comes in torn and bleeding. His pants are torn with his dick hanging out as he staggers around, saying, 'Now wherez 'ol lady with the impacted tooth?' Everyone laughs although that's a familiar formula-joke. Other versions have different 'tests' that the drunk guy always gets mixed-up. In one version of the joke I heard at Merrimack, instead of a pit bull it was a gorilla with a nail in his foot, then an old lady who needs to get laid. The drunk comes in asking, "Wherez the old lady with a nail in her foot?" Same thing basically, but I laugh every time I hear the joke. We pull up to the package store for the liquor. New Jersey package stores, like Massachusetts, sell only hard liquor and wine, not beer. In I go, asking, "Remember me?" and the counter guy says, "Yeah, but let me see your ID again anyway." A slow learner apparently. He nods his head reluctantly and I buy a bottle of Old Granddad and leave with him mumbling, "Have a nice evening." Getting in the pickup, I pass the bag with the bourbon to Vinnie, saying, "You numb-nut, under-age minors owe me $38." Norman says, "Golly, that a lot for a bottle of booze," and I go, "Ya never paid me for the first bottle. They're $19 each." Dodger reaches in his pocket, saying, "I got it, boys," and drops two twenty dollar bills in my lap, grinning and telling me, "Keep the change,"
which I do. Dodger pulls away from the curb cutting off a Mercedes convertible. The old bald-headed driver blows his horn and the trophy blond in the passenger seat with big tits gives us the finger as Vinnie asks, "Is bird-watching dorky?" Dodger says, "Yes, definitely," and Vinnie goes, "How about if I like Justin Bieber, is that dorky?"
Dodger goes, "Jesus! Whatever you do, don't tell anyone else that bit of news."
Next stop is the super market. The biggest one in Wildwood is called ACME Supermarket. It's crowded like most places at the shore. The best thing about this place is it sells beer as well as most anything else you can think of, including food. The four of us go in. Norman pushes a big shopping cart and the first thing we get is a case of cold Coors cans from the cooler, then corn on the cob that allegedly was picked fresh today. Next two big racks of baby back ribs, then a bottle of sweet and spicy barbecue sauce, a couple of big red Jersey tomatoes and fresh cucumber, also supposedly picked today. I ask, "What about a starch?" Dodger says, "We'll iron our shirts another time." Vinnie mumbles, "Idiot," and sneaks a smirky glance at me. I grin at Vinnie, then clarify, "We need a potato of some kind, or pasta maybe to round out the meal." Vinnie takes care of that by dropping a bag of frozen French fries in the cart and I put a bottle of Crisco vegetable oil in there with it. Last thing is a bag of ice. There's butter, condiments, and stuff like that back at the condo so we're all set. While checking out at the register, Vinnie insists on paying for the food and Norman pays for the beer. Dodger already paid for the bourbon so no cheapskates in this group I'm happy to report. Then Vinnie asks, "What are you contributing, Dylan."
Ha! I do a couple of fake coughs, then say, "The deck, the grille, the dishes, plastic cups, and eating utensils, plus my cooking expertise." He goes, "Okay, that works."
Back at the condo we hump everything up the steps to the deck. First order of business is putting the ice in the cooler, then the beer on top of that. I bring out my CD player and Dodger choosing a 'Walk The Moon' CD. While singing along with, "Shut up and dance with me', I get a stack of plastic cups and we all grab a can of beer. Dodger takes four of the cups and pours a shot of bourbon in each. I say, "No shots for me," as I crack open my beer. The three of them look at me. I go, "What? I had a wicked hangover today. Chubby and I got smashed last night celebrating our twenty-first birthdays and I'm taking it easy tonight." More staring until I take a deep breath, muttering, "Okay, just this one!" They're holding their shots in a cup, so I pick up my shot of bourbon and Dodger catches me off guard, saying, "To Dylan," they repeat, "To Dylan," and we all throw the shots down our throats. Tears running down my eyes from the whiskey, I gulp some beer and then ask, "Why did you guys toast me?" and Dodger says, "Because you're the coolest guy any of us knows." I go, "Right! Hey Vinnie, am I cooler than Dodger?" He goes, "Good God, no!" Dodger chuckles, mumbling, "Vinnie don't count." Fortunately he doesn't pour another shot and we start making the dinner.
First I cook the chicken wings on the grill until they're crisp, but still juicy inside. The chicken wings are the only thing the guys bought initially for tonight's dinner. There's two dozen wings which we eat as an appetizer while putting the other stuff together. The ribs go on the grill over high heat to brown them, then the rack gets wrapped in foil and moved to the back of the grill where the third burner's turned off so they'll cook slower. Barbecue sauce doesn't go on the ribs until the last ten minutes. The sugar in barbecue sauce would burn if we put it on the ribs any sooner. The three of us shuck the corn and get a big lobster pot of water boiling on the stove. The tomato and cucumber are cleaned and sliced. Oil goes in another pot for the French fries. Waiting for the food to cook we keep the music going and drink our beers while gently breaking each other's balls for laughs. Before dinner I have two beers and two cigarettes and the boys have a second shot of bourbon and three beers each with Vinnie and Dodger smoking three or four cigarettes. I gotta admit I'm giving some thought about the possibility of a three-way or four-way sex-a-thon tonight. If one does develop I'll bet smoking will be involved because Dodger and Vinnie seem to get off on that.
While eating we trash anyone who's on Facebook or MySpace, and start to squash twitter until Vinnie goes, "Hey, I'm on Twitter," so we go, "Oh, Twitters okay, sure." Vinnie tells us about a test he had last year as a college freshman. It was a philosophy final exam and the only thing written on the first page of the blue book as the test question was the word, 'WHY?' Vinnie goes, "Everyone started scribbling like mad and I wrote, 'WHY NOT?' and turned in my blue book. That kind of shit is bordering on epistemology if you ask me. I studied for that fucking philosophy final only to have some pseudo-intellectual asshole professor make all of us look like dip-shits for studying the text book." Dodger and I exchange grins as Norman asks, "What grade did you get?" Vinnie kinda grins to himself, mumbling, "Well, the professor is a pseudo-intellectual so he gave me an 'A' and wrote on the front, "Why not, indeed?' Whatever the fuck all that means.
Dodger brings the conversation down to a more sensible level with another joke. He goes, "Fuck that epissy-molly shit. A young guy walks in a bar and orders a beer. A scruffy old guy carrying a shoe box comes in and sits next to him. After another beer the young guy asks what's in the shoe box. The scruffy old man tells him it's an African blow toad. Supposedly the best blow job you've ever had. The young guy wants to try it so he takes the shoe box in the bathroom and comes back ten minutes later carrying the shoe box and asking how much the old guy want's for the toad. He writes a check and brings the toad home with him. His wife asks what's in the shoe box. The guy tells her, 'It's a blow job toad,' and she says, "Whaddaya need that for?' and the guy says, 'So you can teach it to cook and then you can get the fuck outta here.' Not funny, but we've had some drinks so we give it a half-ass laugh. Vinnie asks, "Shouldn't it have been established in the context of the so-called joke why the wife was such a bitch the guy would want her out?" We all agree there was something missing in the telling. Dodger goes, "Well of all the nerve! Someone else tell a joke then." Norman tries telling a joke about a cow and a donkey lost in deep snow that none of us 'gets', but we chuckle anyway. Encouraged, he starts to tell another North Dakota joke when Dodger jumps up asking, "Who needs another shot of bourbon?"
The shot I had earlier, plus a couple of beers, has me in a frame of mind to go along with the guys, so I have another shot of bourbon, which means I need another beer and another cigarette. It's a vicious circle but I don't want to be a stick in the mud, and I don't have any idea what a stick in the mud has to do with anything. To be more specific, I don't want to be the turd in the punch bowl that ruins the party, which is why I go along with a second shot of bourbon.
After we eat everything I insist we clean up the kitchen and deck, much to the chagrin of Dodger, who claims we'll clean up later. I recognize bull shit when I see it though, so we clean the place now. Heading for the boardwalk afterward we bring with us 'roadie' beers and the cooler containing the remaining beers and the bottle of bourbon. Dodger drives the pickup to 40th street and finds a fire hydrant to park next to. We're four young adults walking the boards half in the bag... emphasis on 'young', and the 'bag' is probably more than half full. This is a recipe that unintentionally tends to offend people who we aren't aware we're offending. We're talking too loudly and dropping the f-bomb too frequently while laughing at stuff that's not all that funny, occasionally bumping into people. We go on a few rides and play some of the stupid arcade games competing with each other; then later, it's a walk on the beach so we can smoke a cigarette in peace without ten busybodies telling us there's no smoking on the boardwalk.
Thinking about it, I have to admit Dodger's less outrageous than I remember him being, but he's still very good company and still the natural leader he's always been. I think it's a confidence thing with him. Dodger's very casual about being a leader and I get the sense he doesn't even think about it, taking it for granted by now. It's the personality he's had all his life. He's also full of compliments for everyone and he can be self-deprecating at times as well. It's no surprise to me that Vinnie and Norman look up to him and acquiesce to most of his suggestions. For instance, a little while ago when he said, "Lets walk on the beach and have a smoke." We all go along with that and follow him down the steps to the beach, and here we are.
I have this strong feeling that, unlike me, if Dodger was hungover today he would not have had the shots of bourbon I had. He's confident enough that peer pressure doesn't affect him. If he liked Justin Bieber, for example, he'd say he did. He wouldn't even think of asking if it's dorky and he wouldn't care if it was. That sort of thing.
Smoking cigarettes, Vinnie and I are walking together carrying our sandals. Ten feet in front of us Dodger's explaining something about his and Norman's Army job that Norman doesn't understand. Looking up at the sky, Vinnie asks, "Do you ever marvel at the size of things, Dylan." I'm like, "You mean how big the universe is?" He says, "Or how small things are, like atoms."
I do a Charlie-shrug, and Vinnie goes on, "As I'm sure you know, there are one hundred trillion atoms in your body. More atoms in your body then stars in a typical galaxy, of which there are four hundred billion. So, numbers-wise there's no comparison. On the other hand atoms are very, very small while the galaxy is full of very big objects; the total opposite of sub atomic particles like atoms." I'm like, "Atoms are invisible, right?" He goes, "No, they're visible and divisible. You need an Electron microscope to see them though, and if you divide one, split one, all hell breaks loose called an Atomic Bomb."
We walk a minute in silence as I try to wrap my mind around how small an atom is, then Vinnie says, "And then there's really big things, like our Milky Way galaxy. The fastest object ever launched by humans would require almost two trillion years to travel from one side of the Milky Way to the other." I ask, "What's the faster thing we've launched?" He goes, "Ha ha," then he realizes I'm serious and says, "Oh, you seriously don't know?" I go, "I know, but I want to see if you do." He says, "Obviously it's the New Horizon space probe that's right this second moving away from Pluto at 36,373 miles an hour." This should be fascinating to me except I'm not really able to comprehend the smallness and hugeness of this world. Still, I ask, "Um, I'm almost afraid to ask, but if it would take almost two trillion years for the fastest object ever invented to cross our galaxy, um, how many galaxies are there in the Universe and how long would it take to go across all of them?" He goes, "I don't think there's a number big enough to represent how long it would take New Horizon to travel the universe. The estimates for galaxies range from 100 to 200 billion galaxies in addition to the one we're in." I go, "Okay, stop! That's it," and Dodger turns around, asking, "What's it?" I go, "Vinnie's schooling me on big and small things." Dodger goes, "Yeah, I love when he does that. Vinnie's smart." That's true enough, but I'm not sure I want all that incomprehensible stuff floating around in my brain. I prefer a simply... holy shit, look at all the stars tonight! Back on the boardwalk, wearing our sandals or sneakers again, we all agree another beer would hit the spot. Dodger goes, "Lets go to the motel and have that beer, plus a midnight swim in the pool." Nobody has any objection to that, so we walk to the pickup where Dodger crumbles another parking ticket, then drives us to the motel going right by the entrance, cursing, "These fuckers purposely put their sign past the motel entrance instead of before it." Making an illegal U-turn he pulls into the driveway this time and comes to a squealing stop in front of room 106. We pile out with beers in our hands. Dodger and Norman carry the cooler as we saunter, like we own the place, to the back of the motel where the pool is located. I mumble, "Good, no one's here."
There's also no one in the motel office and the lights are out so we basically have the place to ourselves. Dodger says, "Odd that no one's using the pool on a beautiful night like tonight." I mutter. "Maybe because of that, and nod my head at the sign that reads: 'Pool hours... 7 am to 10 pm... NO LIFEGUARD... No glass items around the pool area... this is a SMOKE FREE area...
NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES'. I go, "Apparently everyone but us paid attention to all the no-nos on the sign." Dodger goes, "What sign?" and we settle into four chairs around the pool lighting cigarettes. Most of the talk is about these guys leaving tomorrow and their Florida trip. I tell them about the trip to Fort Lauderdale we took last spring, then Dodger gets an idea. He says, "We need to toast our last night in Wildwood, guys," and he takes the half full bottle of bourbon and pours some into each of our beer cans. We clink the cans and drink to Wildwood. Oh my God, the half a can of beer now takes like a half can of bourbon. Ghastly!! I immediately light up another cigarette.
Dodger tells Vinnie and me about the Army life he and Norman experience on a typical day. The way he tells it the Army sounds like lots of fun, which I seriously doubt is accurate. Norman chugs the rest of his bourbon-laced beer and gets another. He drinks some, then pours in bourbon and chugs some of that. Other than that he's quiet as usual, mostly just nodding his head at whatever Dodger says. Those three have finished their second cans of beer and bourbon while I'm still sipping my first can. All of a sudden Norman abruptly stands up and takes his shirt off, then drops his shorts.
Standing in front of us naked, he announces, "I'm going in for a swim." Dodger laughs, then says, "Yeah, I guess you are. Um, are you going in wearing your sneakers?" Norman looks at his feet, then snickers, kicks off his sneakers and jumps in the pool. Dodger chuckles, "Norman's like that. He drinks without saying much, then all of a sudden he's drunk and you never know what he'll do next." Tall skinny Norman has a short fat cock, like Dodger's. A four inch fat cock. Who would have imagined that? I'm disappointed actually.
Norman's floating on his back when a man and woman come around from the front of the motel. They're in their late twenties wearing swim suits and carrying plastic cups of, I'm guessing, gin and tonic since there's a slice of lime in the clear liquid. The woman says, "We thought we'd join you boys since we can't get to sleep." Vinnie mumbles, "Subtle," meaning, I suppose, we're making too much noise. The guy says, "I'm Todd and this is my girlfriend, Tina." Dodger says, "Todd and Tina, huh? I'm Tom," and he point to me, "He's Tony, and my little buddy next to me is Teddy. The nude bather is Tyler." Tina says, "Bull shit!" They sit down with her adding, "Not that it makes a bit of difference to me, but your names are all bull shit." She's a bitch with a superior, slightly snotty attitude. Her boyfriend has a hard body, a great tan, a gold chain around his neck, no sense of humor, and he probably drives a BMW.
With a phony smile and a phonier chipper attitude, Dodger asks, "Where you guys from?" Tina says, "Not from around here, that's for sure," then she adds, "I'd have thought your friend in the pool would be self- conscious about skinny dipping with a wee-little knob like that pecker of his." Todd lights a cigarette, looking serious. Norman does a couple of short laps in the pool as Dodger goes, "His psychiatrist encourages Tyler to be nude so he'll realize no one cares that he's six and a half feet tall with a three inch penis, and now you've set him back six months of therapy." She says, "Bull shit," which seems to be her favorite response to just about anything.
She's obviously drunk as she flicks her cigarette butt into the pool and then takes her top off. Dodger's chuckling as he gets another beer, drinks some, and pours some bourbon in the can. Meanwhile I'm wondering what the fuck I'm doing here? Dodger asks, "Um, Todd, is your girlfriend always this charming?" Todd looks at Dodger, squinting, then mutters, "What?" and I realize he's zonked beyond belief, totally smashed like his girlfriend. I can't see this ending well, so I say to no one in particular, "I gotta take a leak,"
and walk around to the front of the motel hoping room 106 is unlocked.
It's not only unlocked, the door's open.
Going inside I close the door trying to evaluate how drunk I am and conclude I'm probably the most sober one of the five remaining people around the pool. Todd and Tina don't seem like a lot of fun, so after I take a piss I plop myself in the room's only chair. I'm calculating that it's a ten or fifteen minute ride from here to the condo, and therefore too far to walk. As I'm considering texting Chubby to see if he can pick me up, Dodger, Vinnie, and Norman, who's still naked, walk into the room. Vinnie's saying, "Todd and Tina are zonked out of their minds," and Dodger goes, "Yeah, Tina jumped in the pool and sort of attacked Normie here." I ask, "What'd Todd do?"
Vinnie goes, "I think he fell asleep." I glance at Norman, "Um, Norm, ya wanna put something on?" He goes, "Why? Aren't we gonna mess around?" Un oh.
Dodger asks, "Do you want me to drop you off at your place, Dylan? We're gonna screw, and I'd love it if you'd join us, but I'm not going to force you to." Holy shit! Is this the Dodger I know? I think I liked it better when he just took over without asking.
I was ready to leave when I thought they were going to hang around the pool with that odd couple, but now I'm not sure I should. Hmmm, I'll probably stay for some sex play. Damn, I didn't used to hesitate. Vinnie says, "C'mon, Dylan, stay for a while." Norman's just standing there naked, seemingly as comfortable as he can be. Dodger asks, "What's it going to be, Dylan? I mean Vinnie and I made this special trip to see you, but it's up to you."
I shrug, "Fuck! It's like we usually slide into some sex play after haircuts, but this seems so, um, routine." Dodger goes, "Well, cut Vinnie's hair if you want and we'll slide into it. I'm horny, dude." Vinnie goes, "Nah, I don't want a haircut," and he steps over and pulls my shorts down, muttering, "There, now Norman's not the only one with his dick in his hand." Norman says, "I don't have my dick in my hand."
Dodger, lighting a cigarette, mumbles, "Here we go. Leave it to Vinnie to get things moving along," and he pulls his shorts down and steps out of them. Norman mumbles, "I don't feel too good." Dodger's pulling his shirt over his head, saying, "Vinnie suck on Norman's dick and make him feel better."
Vinnie lights a cigarette exhaling a big drag off of it with Norman waving at the smoke, muttering, "I drank too much pool water." Dodger takes a swig from the bourbon bottle, a drag off his smoke, then wiggle's his fat stubby dick at me, asking, "Would you please, Dylan?" Yeah, well, what the fuck? It's for old time's sake. I just wish I was more into it. Maybe I should have had another shot. Stepping out of my shorts I stroke my pecker, then drop to my knees taking Dodger's four inch cock in my fingers to stroke it using my thumb and forefinger. Dodger exhales smoke, murmuring, "Thanks, brother-in-law to be." The smoke swirls around my head. Dodger mentioning brother-in-law makes me think of Robby and when I put Dodger's cock in my mouth it makes me think of Robby again. Almost identical cocks except I think Robby's got a half inch on Dodger. Vinnie makes slurping sounds sucking Norman's cock and that gives me a nice chill imagining my cock getting slurped on. I glance over at Vinnie as he takes Norman's cock from his mouth and drags off his cigarette, then while exhaling he puts Norman cock back in his mouth along with exhaled cigarette smoke. Norman goes, "Ummm, oooh," then, "My penis better not get cancer from that second hand smoke." That makes us all snort out a laugh.
Licking Dodger's cock, then his balls, I feel my dick responding and try letting my mind go blank so I can concentrate on my favorite pass time, gay sex. Dodger never went in the pool so his scent is natural and reminds me of Robby's, but with a twist because of the cigarette smoke circling my head. Taking the whole four inches in my mouth, licking and sucking on it gets Dodger's cock firming up quickly, and mine's not far behind. I feel myself letting go of everything except this moment and I almost sigh, glad I stayed for some sexy play. Dodger's got the cigarette between his teeth and he rubs my head, then says, "You two guys switch," and Vinnie's comes over on his knees, smoke coming out his nose and mouth as he bumps me away from Dodge's cock. I glance up and see Norman holding his fairly hard, sloppy wet cock and looking at me with his eyebrows raised, not sure I'll suck it for him. I shrug, motioning with my hand and he steps over next to Dodger. The wet slurping sounds from Vinnie encourages me to take Norman's cock in my mouth to suck off Vinnie's saliva, and now I realize Norman's cock is longer than Dodger's by a good inch and a half or maybe two inches. It looked shorter because his legs are so long.
Norman smells like chlorine from the pool, but his dick doesn't taste like that because Vinnie sucked of the pool water. I'm cupping Norman's nuts in my hand as I lick and suck his cock giving his balls a squeeze every couple of seconds and that gets him moving his feet and grunting quietly while squeezing my shoulders and rubbing my head. In about ninety seconds his cock is very hard and he steps back going, "Aaaah!" A string of precum stretches between my lips and his cock, then it breaks off and slides down across my chin, naturally. Norman steps behind me and gets me under my armpits sort of lifting and pushing me forward at the same time. I go onto my hands and knees, shocked that he's this aggressive. His cock is at my asshole and the next second it's past my sphincter muscle as my back arches and I groan, "Aaaah, fuuuuck."That was a totally unexpected move by Norman. He swats my ass hard and "SMACK!" rings out in the room making Dodger laugh. Norman cups my shoulders with both hands and pulls me back tightly onto his boner and he gives my ass another hard, "SLAP!" Jesus, that hurt, then ten seconds later with his crotch tight against my butt cheeks and his fat cock adding girth, I'm like, "Oooooh," because it feels so good! My shoulders shudder as Norman asks, "Feel good?" and before I can answer he's fucking me hard, "Slap, slap, slap, slap!" Shivers are flying up and down my spine as my rectum glows and then sensations off my prostate begin popping and I move around a little getting another whack on my ass from Norman, "SMACK!" The farm boy's strong...
Getting fucked by a new cock, so unexpected like this, really gets me hot and I can't help moaning, "Ooh, ooh," with each hard thrust up my ass. Who knew Norman would be, um, dominant and take-charge like he did? Oh man it feels really good. Norman's got a nice size cock for fucking too. I'm guessing five and a half inches with good girth so there was just that little initial pain, then awesomeness. His boned-up cock is big enough to get my prostate ringing while tantalizing the lips of my anus. Just a really nice fuck and as he increases the speed of his thrusting I feel my orgasm building rapidly. He's putting pressure on my shoulders, gripping them tightly as he hammers his cock up my ass. It definitely gives me a submissive sense getting my hard cock buzzing and then Norman takes it up a notch leaning over me and getting an arm under my chin pulling my neck back roughly jamming his cock up my ass and holding it there until he's lifted me off my hands, up on my knees. This arm under the chin move apparently isn't just Charlie's and mine. The thing is, Norman's stronger and taller than Charlie and I'm pretty much at his mercy while I know I could get out of Charlie's grip any time I wanted to. Not so with Norman as he drags my head up so the back of my head is held tightly against his hard left pec while Norman humps against my butt cheeks hard a few times and I get a really nice submissive trance going.
I'm docile for him as he humps against my buttocks a few more times. Then two hard, "SMACK, SMACK," on the side of my ass pulling me up a little. I'm on my knees but my torso's as straight as I can stretch it. Norman grunts, "Stay like this!" and he tightening his arm under my chin as I moan with waves of submissive sexual pleasure flowing over me. Norman's height means he's really needs to bend his knees in order to keep his cock level with my asshole. One last lift under my chin and he starts driving his boner up my ass straight on and in less than thirty seconds I gasp, struggling and stroking my boner, then squeal as my hips hump and a long stream of cum shoots out as fireworks flare in my head, my eyes close now with the, "Slap, slap, slap," sounds of Norman's crotch slapping against my ass adding to my arousal. A second squeal as another streak of cum shoots from my throbbing boner, then after three more humps up my ass, Norman pulls his cock out pushing me away from him roughly, mumbling, "That didn't take long." I'm back on my hands and knees quivering from the dizzying effects of that fast orgasm, feeling submissive vibrations streaking around my groin giving me chills.
If he turned me around right now I'd suck his sloppy cock, but he just backs
up. I look back at him hoping he'll shove his cock back up my ass, but Norman's slowing stroking his boner watching Dodger fuck Vinnie.
Taking deep breaths I listen to the 'Slap, slap," sounds of Dodger smacking against Vinnie's ass. Norman says, "Beat ya again, Dodger." Dodger's grunts, "Yeah, I don't know how you do it so fast." Cum is drooling from my asshole as I stagger up to watch Dodger doggy-fucking Vinnie, his head back as he moans with each thrust of Dodger's boner. Less than a minute later Dodger's face scrunches-up as he gasps, grunts and hold himself against Vinnie's buttocks humping and climaxing. The cigarette between his teeth had burnt down to the filter and gone out. Another hump against Vinnie ass cheeks and Dodger sort of gasps taking a deep breath, then pulls his cock out dragging a string of his cum with it, saying, "Finish him off, Norman." Dodger strokes his sloppy cock, grinning at me while taking another gasping breath, then asks, "Doesn't Norman fuck good?" I nod while trying to pinpoint exactly what it was that caused me to climax so quickly.
Dodger offers me a cigarette, but I shake my head. Now Norman's got his boner up Vinnie ass with an arm under Vinnie's chin like he did with me.
Vinnie sputters but has no choice, he left up with the back of his head against Norman's chest. Wow, Norman's hips begin moving fast and smooth as he drives his boner up Vinnie's ass with Vinnie struggling and stroking his long boner. In less than a minute Vinnie's red-faced and moaning, humping his hips and firing a long shot of spunk five feet straight out until it hits the side of a bed and splatters. Two more shorter shots and Norman lets go of Vinnie, pushing him away roughly while pulling his sloppy boner out, basically the same way he handled me. Dodger says to me, "And he still hasn't climaxed himself yet." I mutter, "Huh, pretty fucking amazing."
Vinnie's stroking his cock still moaning as Dodger lights two cigarettes, passing one to me without asking this time. He exhales some smoke, mumbling, "Nice warm-up sex, huh?" I'm like, "Warm-up?" and take a drag off the cigarette. Dodger takes another swallow of bourbon from the bottle, then passes the bottle to me and without thinking I take a mouthful, then make a face swallowing it as I'm passing the bottle to Vinnie. Grabbing Dodger's beer can out of his hand I swallow some of that only to find it has bourbon in it too. Gagging, afraid I'm going to throw up, Dodger rubs my back, saying, "Take some deep breaths, Dylan." The throw-up feeling fades and I drag off the cigarette. Vinnie's saying, "That felt good, Norm. You fuck good, doesn't he, Dylan?" I go, "You know it, Vin." Dodger sits on the bed, telling us, "We'll switch places later. Is that okay with you guys?" Norman says, "I wanna fuck Dylan again, his ass is special." Dodger goes, "No shit, mister greedy, but I'm fucking Dylan next." Actually I want Vinnie to fuck me, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
I'm in the only chair, Vinnie and Dodger are sitting on one of the beds and Norman's leaning against the wall slowly stroking his sloppy boner. Those three talk about a three-way they had in the pool house back home on Monday when Robby and his parents were at work. From the gist of their conversation I take it that Norman doesn't climax easily. Last Monday he apparently fucked climaxes out of both Dodger and Vinnie, from start to finish in both cases, without climaxing himself. I ask, "Isn't that frustrating, Norman?"
He shakes his head, "Nah, it feels good, you betcha." Dodger tells me, "Norman broke his cherry fucking sheep." Norman goes, "Yeah, when I was like thirteen. All the guys did." I find that slightly hard to believe but don't feel like hearing more about it so I don't say anything.
We drink the last of the beers while laying around the motel room naked like perverts, talking about sex; the best and worst we've ever had. I assume everybody's lying, or if not I've had a much milder sex life than I thought. Wow, the stories! Dodger and Vinnie are laying on one of the bed and after a while they start making-out. Dodger's laying on his back with little Vinnie on top. I glance at Norman, who says, "I don't know how they can do that. They're the first two guys I've ever seen making-out like that. I mean in real life." I do not want to make-out with Norman even a little bit anyway, but's it is awkward just watching. For something to say, I ask, "So you're bi, huh?" Norman goes, "I call myself bisexual because I'll fuck a guy up the ass, but that's all the queer stuff I'll do." I say, "Except for fucking sheep you mean." He's shaking his head, "Nah, that's for kids. I wouldn't even consider doing it now." I ask, "How about a horse?" and he says, "You're a good friend of Dodger's so I won't smack the shit outta you, but don't mock me, okay?" I go, "Okay, but I don't care to be threatened.
Okay?" He mumbles, "You betcha."
Dodger and Vinnie are deep into their make-out, both naked and sprouting boners, one four inch boner and one nearly eight inches." I look away, then to show there's no hard feelings, I say, "So, Norman, you say you're bi, do you have a girlfriend?" He nods, "Yeah, Sheryl May Braxton. We've been going together since tenth grade. We fuck all the time, but she's on the pill so no problem. She sends me tons of text messages every week." He gets up and starts rummaging through his shorts that he threw on the floor when he came in the room. I mumble, "I thought Dodger said you guys were flexible, topping and bottoming." He has his wallet out, then hands me a picture, "That's me and Sheryl May at the senior prom like eighteen months ago." I'm looking at it as he tells me, "Yeah, I tried to take Dodger's dick up my ass once when we were so drunk we could hardly stand up, but he never got it up there. I think we crashed and fell asleep on the floor until Connor came in and woke us up. We were drunker than shit."
I glance at Dodger, but he's not paying any attention to us. The picture Norman showed me is him with a buzz cut, looking bald because his hair is so light, standing with his arm across a midget girl's shoulders. She looks like a midget standing next to him anyway. Average looking girl, a tad on the chunky side wearing a bright yellow dress. Norman's wearing a power blue tux with a black bow tie. I say, "Yeah, she's hot," and he takes the picture, saying, "Watch what you say about her if you don't want me to knock your teeth down your throat." I go, "Fuck you, Norman. I said she looks hot trying to give her a compliment. You can't hold your liquor." He goes, "Just watch yourself, that's all I'm saying." What an asshole, but that's what you get from some guys when they're drunk.
Finally Dodger and Vinnie roll off the bed giggling. They get up with Vinnie lighting a cigarette, saying, "I'm gonna fuck Dylan now," and he comes over to me as I'm sitting in the chair, asking, "Alright with you, Dylan?" I take his cigarette and inhale off it, then hand it back to him, mumbling, "Sure, Vinnie." Dodger says, "We'll do a train," and Norman goes, "I got caboose." Handing his smoke to me Vinnie ask Dodger, "How 'bout if Dylan lays his chest on the bed and I'll fuck him for a minute, then you go up my butt and after another minute or two Norm hooks on as the caboose." Dodger goes, "Who died and left you in charge?" Vinnie whines, "It's the way you always set it up." Dodger laughs, "Huh, you're right," then to me, "If you don't mind, Dylan," and he motions with his hand to the bed. I say, "Pull the bedspread down. I'm not laying on that cum rag," meaning there's lots of fucking allegedly taking place on motel bedspreads.
Exhaling cigarette smoke, Dodger pulls the bedspread down, as I ask, "Is this a smoke-free motel room?" Dodger goes, "Yes, aren't they all nowadays?"
I go, "They'll charge you a couple hundred dollars extra." He says, "Good luck to them. I paid with an AMEX debit card that has about twenty cents left on it." Huh, that's pretty smart. Putting my cigarette out in an empty beer can, I lay across the bed, my knees on the floor. Vinnie gets behind me between my legs and rubs the sticky head of his cock up my ass crack and over my melon shaped butt cheeks. I feel it getting harder and the head feels large compared to Norman's. Vinnie holds his firmed-up cock in his fist and feeds the head just past the lips of my anus, then humps it in and I see stars as I'm grunting and holding my breath. It's not as bad as I expected because my anus is still opened-up quite a bit by Norman's fat boner and there's Norman's cum residue to act like lubricant. A cloud of smoke circles my head as Vinnie exhales, then asks, "You doing okay, Dylan?" I nod and suppress a grunt. It's tight, but I'm looking forward to this, me being completely in the mood for buddy-sex by now.
Vinnie's just naturally rough during sex and he gives a hard hump driving that fat cock maybe four more inches up my ass. It hurts but that turns me on as I'm visualizing his fat cock filling my rectum. I can feel it getting harder and fatter too now that Vinnie's getting more aroused. His little hands kneed my shoulders before another forceful hump flattens him against my butt cheeks, all eight inches of boner up my ass now. He grinds his hips, gasping, "Oooh man, this feels good." He pulls his cock back quickly and drives it right back up my ass as I groan, my back arching, and sensations tingle inside me making me shudder. More exhaled cigarette smoke from Vinnie as I hear Norman says, "Fuck that ass, Vinnie." With a hand on the back of my head, pushing my face into the mattress, Vinnie starts fucking and the familiar "Slap, slap, slap, slap," sounds fill the room as awesome pleasure bubbles begin bursting in my rectum. The lips of my asshole grip that fat hard fast-moving penis shaft as it plows up and back in my ass. Oooh the pleasure! So many sensations flooding my brain I let out my moans making Dodger chuckle, mumbling, "My main man, Dylan; he sure does love him some gay sex. Hell, so do I!"
"Slap, slap, slap," for about a minute, then Vinnie stops, fully impaling me. There's a bit of rustling around behind me and I'd like to look back except Vinnie's got my face plastered against the sheets on the mattress. He grunts humping against my buttocks as I suppose Dodger's just mounted him.
I hear, "Slap, slap, slap," sounds of Dodger fucking Vinnie with Vinnie leaning in against me tighter with each thrust up his ass. Then he leans forward, his chest on my back and enjoys Dodger fucking him for a minute or so.
Vinnie's cock feels so long inside me I visualize it nestled at the bottom of my lungs. Lifting up, Vinnie says, "Light a smoke for me, Norm." I hear the lighter flick, then Vinnie takes his hand off the back of my head. I turn my head and see Norman hand Vinnie a lit cigarette, making a face, muttering, "How the fuck can you smoke those thing?" Dodger says, "Lets get together, Vinnie, get synchronized with our humping. Ready? Pull back, now thrust it in." Oh! Vinnie's cock slides tightly back until it's pulling backwards on the lips of my asshole, then up my ass it goes again. He goes, "Ooooh," feeling both the sensations off his cock and the blossoming pleasure sensations from uncountable nerve endings in his rectum. Dodger and Vinnie get their thrusting synchronized at a steady pace and Vinnie starts breathing noisily, sometimes exhaling smoke and sometimes not, but I can feel his body shuddering as it absorbs double the pleasure it's receiving from both ends. It's very sexy to realize the guy who's fucking me up the ass is getting fucked up his ass at the same time. A huge turn-on for me and my second orgasm is building quickly now.
I don't know, but it seemed about two minutes before both Dodger and Vinnie stop thrusting. I'm filled up with Vinnie's cock and he's filled up with Dodger's extra chubby four inches. Norman's behind Dodger and all three of them lean in against my ass as Norman humps his boner up Chubby's ass. Then it's thirty seconds of mayhem as they try getting synchronized, and never do, but there begins some wild thrusting. Less then a minute into it Vinnie's body stiffens, he groan humping against my ass cheeks, them a desperate hump and I feel his load flowing into my bowels. He makes a whining sound, probably shooting more cum up my ass but I can't tell. It's very sloppy up there. After a few seconds of deep breathing the thrusting gets going again, Vinnie's cock not nearly as hard as it slides in the sloppy gunk in my rectum. It's all so fucking sexy. I'm hearing scattered sounds of males fucking, bodies slapping against each other and then in a rush my climax comes on me now it's my body that gets stiff. I hold my breath a second as Vinnie thrust his cock back and forth a few more times as I'm flopping against the side of the mattress squealing and shooting cum against it. My cum smears around my crotch as my hips hump. Gasping for air, sensations traveling all over me with my shoulders shuddering before the sensations fizzle away and I lay limply against the mattress. It was sort of a unique climax, but a really good one overall.
Now Vinnie's lying against my back again, both of us being jostled with each thrust of Dodger's cock in Vinnie's ass and Norman's thrusting up Dodger's ass. I'm lying here grinning and feeling good... loving it all. Vinnie sort of squirms against my back as Dodger groans and I suppose climaxes up Vinnie's ass. Now only Norman's thrusting while Vinnie's and my climaxes are merely memories. Vinnie's goofing around playing with my hair and giving me wet willies. I try struggling out from under him and succeed, his long wet cock dragging over my left butt cheek as it pulls out of my ass. He then pulls away from Dodger, who falls against the mattress. Vinnie and I light cigarettes. I go, "Jesus, Vinnie, you fuck great." He takes a drag, then with smoke coming out of his mouth, he tells me, "Yeah, I know. Here's what I'll do: I'll call you for a haircut when I get back from Disney World.
While you give me the haircut I'll fuck you. You know, like we did last time."
I go, "Yeah, you play the part of Dodger," and he goes, "And you play the part of you." I go, "I can handle that."
Dodger says, "Will one of you help me out here. Norman still hasn't climaxed and he fucking my ass raw." Norman says, "Dylan, you need a little more ass thumping, c'mon." I shrug as Norman pulls his wet, ridiculously hard sloppy cock out of Dodger's ass. Dodger says, "Felt awesome there for a while, Norm, but dude, you gotta learn how to climax." With his five and a half inch rock-hard boner sticking straight out from his groin, Norman walks over to me, asking, "Is it okay?" I shrug again and he gets and arm around the front on my throat pulling my head back like last time, then he rams his cock up my ass and fucks me hard and fast, both of us standing. Dodger's got another cigarette going, saying, "Pretend he's Nelly the lamb, Norm."
Norman lifts my chin some more and fucks my ass for another minute before he makes a strangle sound and almost lifting me off my feet climaxes so much cum it's running down the back of both my legs. Another hump against my ass shooting more of his jism inside me. Dodger chuckles, "Jesus, Norm, you're gonna bust a blood vessel if you're not careful." Norman gasp bending me forward now while he breaths deeply and fucks me hard for another minute before stepping back. More cum rolls down the back of my legs. I'm gasping as I take Dodger's cigarette from his lips and drag on it. Holy shit! I love getting fucked like that. Norman's the man.
Vinnie goes, "Gee, now I wish I volunteered to be the one ol' Normie climaxed in. Look at the juice running out of Dylan's ass." Dodger goes, "Think how humiliated the sheep were." I ask, "Norman, did you fuck the sheep before or after they're sheered?" He mumbles, "I should never have told you Eastern boys about that. You just don't understand the rite of passage we Nort h Dakota boys go through." He's laughing though, so no hard feelings. And I still don't believe him. We're all still naked and there so much cum on the back of my legs I step in the shower and turn it on. Dodger gets in with me and washes my ass and legs using a washcloth someone used earlier. I say, "Would you put some bath gel on that rag, please." He does as Vinnie gets in with us, then giggling Norman gets in as I slide out and try drying myself with a damp towel I find on the floor.
We all get dried off as I glance at my wristwatch and see it's ten of one, so not so bad, as Norman would say. I feel good like I always do after getting fucked really well. They pass the bourbon bottle around, but I pass it by me. I'm not that drunk actually. I'm a six pack of beer and maybe three shots of bourbon, drunk. Not so bad. We get dressed and go outside to the vending machine putting dollar bills in it for candy bars. I get a Baby Ruth although I wanted a Butterfingers. Norman took the last one though, so I took the next best one. We talk for a few minutes, then after a hug and saying my goodbyes to Vinnie and Norman, they go for a dip in the pool. I ask for a ride back to my place, and Dodger accommodates. During the fifteen minute ride I half expect Dodger to be serious, but he isn't. We just tell each other how much we like each one another and then have a really good kiss goodbye until we meet again. I get out of the truck, saying, "Thanks for a very unusual night, Dodger." He looks at me and gets serious for the very first time in Wildwood, saying, "Never forget, Dylan, I love you too, If something doesn't work out, I'm there for you." After the last two crazy days I wasn't expecting that, so I just nod, muttering, "Yeah, um, thank you, Dodger." He grins and pulls away. I wish I'd said I love him too. Maybe it's
best I didn't though, and anyway I'm not so sure I do love him like that.
to be continued... Donny Mumford thinat20@yahoo.com
donnymumford@outlook.com
I
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Hoping some readers may be interested, there are books of mine published and available on Amazon.com. Anyone who has Kindle can download them for next to nothing. The books are under ten dollars. They are about a 19 year old gay boy (Oliver) who has a far different life than Dylan's. And there is a new book, 'Mike, his Bike and Me'. Please at least check them out by typing my name on Amazon.com. Information about the story in the books can be found in some detail there. Thank you.
Donny Mumford
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