DRUNK ENOUGH
I was going up the elevator to my friend's apartment when I saw HIM! He got on at the same time and I couldn't believe it. I recognized him at once. After all, I lived in the apartment house next door and I'd been spying on him with my telescope for quite a while. I was just drunk enough to open my big mouth!
I hesitated a while, shuffling my feet. He smiled at me instantly, then turned to the front as elevator riders do. I tried small talk. "Eh, how ya doin'?"
"Quite nicely, thank you. And yourself?"
Hmmm. A cultivated attitude. Maybe a professional man. "I'm okay. Not too fuckin' bad. Doin' alright," I couldn't match his high-toned manner of speech, and didn't try to. I even staggered a bit.
"Splendid! Been partying a bit tonight?"
"Naw, just downed my usual six-pack!" I laughed, feeling brazen and foolish at the same time. But I knew this guy didn't have anything on me and I sure didn't have to feel inferior to him. Not after what I'd seen him do! I couldn't let the chance pass.
"How's...how's the ol' butthole taste tonight?" I glared at him.
"I beg your pardon?"
"The butthole...your can...your asshole, man! How's it taste tonight?"
"Are...are you making an advance, fella? You want to find out, is that it?" He actually smiled, thinking I was tryin' to put the make on him!
"FUCK NO!" I cried. "Hey, I ain't queer like you are!"
He calmly pushed the button to stop the elevator and turned to me. "Relax. You're confusing me. Why are you asking such leading questions if you're not making sexual advances?" He didn't act like a man trapped because he was much bigger and stronger than me. Besides, I was obviously drunk. He simply demanded an explanation.
But me. Silly me. I was too dumb and giddy to realize what I was saying. Or rather, I knew what I was saying, I just didn't realize what the consequences might be if I angered him. I backed away, pointing.
"I seen ya! I seen ya do it...lots a times!" I accused.
"Really? What might that be? I've done lots of things."
"LICKIN' YOUR OWN SHIT!" I blurted out.
He blanched, temporarily losing his composure. "Wha... what?"
"Yeah! I can see right into your apartment. I've watched you. You get all naked and take a big dump...right on the floor. Then you get down and smell it. I can't tell if ya lick it or anything, but sure can tell you're rubbin' your nose all over it! How 'bout that, hunh?"
"Well...supposing you have the right person...and supposing I did do those things...what's your interest in it?"
"What?" I was suddenly on the spot. What was my interest? Even if I knew he did it, why was I challenging him about it? "Uh, I dunno! Just that I saw ya. Don't that make ya feel rotten, knowing somebody saw ya doin' that?"
"No. Should it?"
"Well, yes, of course. That's a filthy thing to do!"
"Why?" he calmly asked, actually smiling.
"Why? Are you nuts? Nobody licks their own shit!"
"I didn't say I did. But...I do."
"Yeah, I know! I know! I figured that. But...why?"
"Well, mostly because no one else will let me lick theirs."
"Ah, jeez! You mean you'd do it to somebody else?!!"
"If I liked them...and they wanted me to."
"Who'd want you to?"
"I don't know. Maybe you. If it disgusts you so much, why do you keep watching me?"
"I'm...uh, I dunno...exactly. Cause it's so dirty, I guess. You...you mean you'd...jeez! You're a real fuckball, ain'tcha!"
"I have my own personal tastes...like everyone else. You're rather cute, in a crude way. This thing obviously excites you in a strange way, otherwise you never would have approached me like this. You would have kept it to yourself and just looked at me as a pervert. Shall we cut the crap, so to speak? If you'd care to come to my apartment, I'd be curiously interested to see what comes out of your asshole. I won't promise to lick it, but if I like the smell...perhaps I will!"
"GODDAM! YOU WANNA LICK MY TURD?!!"
He looked me over, mulling over the possibility. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Sure, why not? I've been wanting to do it and you're the first person that seems interested."
"I'm not...not interested! DAMN!" I stared at him, suddenly sober. "Uh, lemme think. You a cocksucker, too?"
"I'll suck your prick if you like."
"Betcha take it up the bum, hunh?"
"You...can bugger my ass, too, if you like. That'd be fine."
"Long as I take a dump fur ya, hunh?"
"Long as you take a dump fur me!" he smiled.
"No funny stuff?" He chuckled at that, and so did I when I realized what I'd said. "Oh, guess that's as funny as it gets, right? I mean, you ain't gonna try nuthing with me...tying me up or nuthin'?"
"You've got the whole story, fella. If you can handle that, let's go. I think I'd enjoy licking your asshole. It's not too clean, is it?"
"Clean? Why, you want it dirty?!"
"Of course, you lummox!'' He spread his hands in exasperation. "Smelling and licking your shit is the whole idea, right?"
"Oh. Yeah, I guess that is it, hunh? Well, what the hell! I must keep watchin' you all the time for some reason. Maybe it wuz cause I wanted to see ya do it to mine."
"Well," he pushed the button, "let's go do it to yours!"
"You got a real stinky butt!" he declared. I was standing in the middle of his apartment with my pants down! I was nervous. He had his shirt off and his hands on my ass and kept poking his nose into my crack. Anybody ever told me I had a stinky butt I would have been embarrassed as all hell. Somehow, this guy tellin' me that made me feel good. That's what he wanted...and I was givin' it to him. I let him lick it, too. I pulled my own butt open and he got in there and sniffed around. I kept waitin' for him to tongue me, but he liked the stink so much he jus' kept whiffin' me! Okay, I had time. I let him whiff me all he wanted.
Then he had me bend over and he tongued all over my hole.
"Well, if what you got on the inside is as tasty as the crust on your asshole, I'll be licking it for sure. Bet you've got your telescope aimed down here right now, don't you?"
"I never mentioned a telescope. Y-you knew about that? But you acted surprised."
"Yours is the only apartment that can see in my window with the drapes half closed. A voyeur like you's perfect to increase my excitement. You never realized that I made sure you were home at the time."
"You wanted me to watch?!" He was licking my cheeks and helping me lift my legs to get out of my pants.
"After I went over to find out who you are. I saw you in the lobby once, and checked you out. To be quite honest, you're a bit of a slob. You got a nice face though. You're getting kinda chunky," he patted my growing beer belly, "and you've got a big ass with pimples on it. But right now it's rather luscious!"
"Yeah, well, I guess I didn't come here for compli- ments. You want me to shit now?"
"In a while. Lemme get the rest of my clothes off."
He walked around in front of me, stripping...and looking at my body. He grabbed my dick and played with it. "You gonna suck me?" I asked.
"Sure, after. You got a rather nice one. Hefty balls, too." He pulled his shirt off and bent over and nuzzled his nose into my nuts. "Mmmm. You're ripe all over! You're getting nice and hard I see."
"Of course. I'm naked and ready to get a blowjob. What'd ya expect?"
He had an erection, too, and held it up. "You like mine?"
"Yeah. No! It's just another guy's cock. Course I don't like it?"
"Why not? Just because you're not supposed to?"
"I guess. Never thought about it." I certainly couldn't tell him he had a cock I'd gladly trade with him. He had at least two inches on me. I wasn't bad, but he was pretty big. "Y-you said you won't try nuthin' funny. Don't try to get me to suck it...cause I won't!"
"I'll keep to my deal. But we're in a unique spot here. If there's anything extra you feel like doing...feel free. Now lift your cock and I'll wash your balls off."
He knelt before me and I spread my legs. He lapped his tongue all over my nuts and cleaned the crud off 'em... thoroughly! I was getting so turned on I just wanted to forget the shitting and have him blow me. I'd never had a guy do me before, but his tongue was fantastic! The whole thing was dirty and exciting, but I started getting nervous. Maybe because I was starting to sober up. Damn, I didn't want to do that. Not before it was over, anyway. I asked him if he had any liquor.
"Sure, I'll get you one. Need to keep your edge, hunh? Okay, but I don't want you getting shit-faced. That's my department!" He laughed and so did I. His easy manner, and the drink, put me back at ease.
"If I could hold my liquor, I wouldn't be here," I chuckled.
"Even being drunk, you're being here says a lot."
"What's that mean?" I asked. "Is that a dig?"
"Let me lay down here and I'll show you what digging is!" He went behind me and layed sideways to me...his head at my ankles. "Now squat down so I can dig my tongue up your hot rectum! Don't shit yet, let me eat you out til you can't take it any more."
"Ahhh!" I squatted, feeling his tongue immediately. "Okay, I'll warn ya so you can get out of the way!" He slurped all over my hole, sticking his tongue up me. Oh, a tongue up the backside felt so good!
"Mmmm. I won't be getting out of the way, slick! I'm going to lick your turd for sure. I love your fucking ass! Pimples and all!"
"Ah, man, you're making my ass feel so good!" I'd always thought my ass was fat and ugly. An exaggeration, I knew, but still I never liked the way it was. Now here was this man slobbering all over it, telling me he fuckin' loved the pimples on it! Looking to the side, I could see him jacking his big prick. I watched cause I knew he couldn't see me looking...he practically had his eyeballs up my ass! I guess it was a little exciting watching a guy jack off. I was stroking myself. Then...I didn't mean to... but I farted!
"Ooops, sorry!" I squeezed my butt tight...just in case.
"Whew! That was sure fragrant! Hey, don't tighten up. Go ahead and do it again, I don't mind. Fart all you want."
"Okay, fella." I let out a big blubbering one over his lips! It made me giggle, but the guy mooshed his lips over my hole, obviously enjoying the stink I'd let out. Well, that's no wonder. I kinda liked 'em myself! Course I never got close enough to choke on one. He didn't exactly choke, but he coughed a couple of times.
"AW, FUCKING STINKHOLE!" he gasped. "Come on, man, shit me a turd! Oh, fuck, I'm ready for it. Going to lick my first turd. Shoot it out of there! Take a big shit in my face!"
Feeling nasty as all get out, I squatted there and put my hands on my knees and looked under my legs. His face was there at my ass, ready to receive my turd. Just seeing him there made me want to do it all the more. I grunted and pushed, feeling my anus open and something go out. I couldn't see anything yet, but I knew he had to be tasting it. I pushed harder, lifted up a bit, and really took a big shit! Then, finally, I could see my turd hanging there. It was in the man's mouth! OH, WHAT A SIGHT! I was shitting in his mouth! The guy had his lips wrapped around my turd! He was sucking it! I almost came!
"Mmmm." He quickly twisted his head away and licked the shit as I dropped the rest of it out. I was going to get up, but he pulled my ass back down and attached his mouth to my asshole. He started to suck out my hole and clean it off!
Finally, he pushed me off. I stood up and turned around...staring down at him and the pile of shit around his face.
"Want to see me lick it?" he asked, looking up with the lewdest expression I'd ever seen. "You do, don't you? You've watched me, and you want to see me do it up close."
"Yeah," I grabbed my cock. "Let's see ya lick it! I saw it in your mouth, but do it again! You like it, hunh? You really like that shit!"
"I love it! I'll fucking lick it all you want. I knew I would!"
I watched him tongue the mess, then got a crazy idea. Guess it was cause my dick was so hard and he was so perverted. Maybe it was something else, but I suddenly blurted out, "DO IT! DO YOUR OWN! I WANNA SEE YOU LICK YOUR OWN, TOO!"
"Mmmm, what do you mean, baby?" He kept licking.
"SHIT ON MY TURD! GET UP AND TAKE A SHIT ON TOP OF IT! I WANNA SEE YOU LICK THEM TOGETHER!"
"Oooh, fuck!" He hopped up. "You're getting into the swing of this, aren't you?"
"Uh," I suddenly felt foolish making that insane request. "No, I'm just...hell, I dunno...we're doin' all this stupid stuff. Maybe I'm too drunk. But do it, okay? I wanna see you get as nasty as possible. Lick both our shits at the same time!"
"Okay, but don't pass up this chance, fella. Fuck the smell and get your face down there for a good look. Now's your chance to see a guy take a shit up close. It's hot, man, seeing it come out. Trust me."
I did. Obviously, he'd gotten quite excited when I shit...enough to lick it and take it in his mouth. I'd liked seeing that. Maybe I'd like watching a turd come out of an asshole, too. It'd sure be different!
"Yeah," I layed down on my belly, squishing my leaking prick onto the floor. "Do it, guy! Guess it don't hurt to watch. I've seen you pump out some pretty big ones. OH! OH, DAMN! YOU'RE SHITTING! OH, GOD, LOOK AT THAT BIG TURD! HOLY FUCKKKK! IT'S SO LONG! MAN, THAT'S HOT! AH, YEAH, DUMP IT ON THERE, MAN! MAKE A BIG PILE!"
I couldn't believe how I was encouraging it...how excited it made me. Man, I was too fuckin' drunk! I watched him squish the last of it from his hole and quickly turn around and get on his knees, coming up close to it. He looked at me with sparks in his eyes.
"Oooh, look at all that!" He put his nose down there. "Mmmm, smells as good as yours, doesn't it? Hot and nasty!"
"LICK IT, FUCKER!" I scowled at him in a gruff, excited voice. "You probably want to eat it all, doncha? Go ahead, gobble all that shit up, you fuckin' shit-eater!"
"No," he put his tongue on it, "but I sure want a good taste!" He licked the top stuff, licked the bottom stuff, pushed it around with his mouth and spread it out, then licked the whole shittin' mess, trying to talk at the same time. "Ah luh likuh thit! Yr thit's gud!"
"Whatever you say, guy," I stared mesmerized. Never, ever had I imagined someone going sexual over a tongue on a pile of crap like that. But there I was...excited as I'd ever been! The man got up and wiped his lips, staring down at me with a wild expression. I gulped. He grabbed my arm and pulled me over...away from the shit...and scooted up close to my face while he grabbed my cock.
"Let's suck each other's cocks," he suggested.
"I...I can't...you said..."
"I know. I think you want to, though. You're dirty, like me. Maybe not for shit and all that, but you want to try a cock in your mouth. You want to try my cock! Come on, let's blow each other!"
He maneuvered me into a sideways 69 and put his mouth over my cock. Tentatively, I reached for his. It was big and powerful and felt strangely familiar in my hand. I moved down until I could smell the end of his cock. I was ready to open my mouth and take it in when I suddenly bolted up and began to put my clothes on!
"Hey! Doncha want your blowjob?" he asked, confused.
"YOU!" I pointed furiously at him, breathless and angry. "YOU'RE A FUCKIN' FREAK! I don't...I can't..." I rushed out the door.
I rushed home. The lights in his apartment were off. Of course, he knew I'd be looking over there. Was he pissed? Was he embarrassed? Had I made him feel....like shit? Tough! Fuck him! He made me feel...I don't know...kinda like the turds he'd been licking! I didn't care what he did...I just didn't like the way he made me feel!
For the next two nights there was no activity in his place. Of course he knew I was watching. He knew I couldn't resist that, damn him! I finally found 'voyeur' in the dictionary. Yep, that's me!
On the third night a light finally came on. He strolled into the room, naked, and stared right at me. Then he turned around, squatted slightly, and dropped a big turd on the floor! Then he walked away and the light went off. Two more times he did this..exactly at 10:00. I imagined him, in the dark room, crawling over and getting himself off on his own shit. But he wouldn't let me watch! He was teasing me.
Was I so lonely and horny that all I had to do was watch this screwy man shit and lick! If not, why was I watching so intently? I wished he had a telescope. Then I'd tease him the same way. Shit right by my window and make him drool for what he couldn't have!
But why? Why was I so confused? If I wanted to do that, then I wanted to do it for him. I was the one playing the games. He'd been straight with me all along. I set out a bottle of bourbon, planning on drinking half of it then...
I took two big swigs of it, just enough to get a little buzz, then decided I didn't need any more. I went over to his apartment at a quarter to ten and knocked.
He opened the door and smiled pleasantly.
"Pimples itching?" He never lost his composure, the bastard!
"C-can I come in?"
"Sure. You never had to leave."
"I'm...I'm sorry about that. Guess I couldn't handle it."
"Heh! The way you were talking?! You got kinda..."
"I don't mean...the shit. That was easy. Yeah, even weirdly exciting. But putting your cock in my mouth...that freaked me out."
"It's alright. You didn't have to anyway. All you had to do was say so. I'd have sucked you off. Would you like a drink?"
"Um, sure. A little one. I don't need to be drunk. I came to suck your dick!" There it was. I blurted it out. He smiled and went to the bar. I sat on the couch.
"So? That's quite an admission. Are you sure? Have my filthy habits merely enticed you into this, or are you totally ready to present yourself as a cocksucker? A dick- loving, ball-licking, cum-drinking fag?"
He handed me my drink.
"W-why are you talking to me like t-that? I came here to..."
"I'll tell you why." He knelt before me, taking a sip of his own drink. "I want to be where you are, and have you down here where I now am. We'll both be bone naked. I'll be spreading my legs apart and holding up my big prick. When you come scooting over and take my prick in your mouth, I don't want you to act like a virgin and just nibble around the edges. I want you to open your mouth and ravage my prick like a cocksucker that hasn't blown a prick in months! I want you to eat my meat like it was the best tastin' thing you ever, ever had in your mouth! I want you to love my cock!"
"W-well...maybe that's what I'll do. I don't know, man, I've never done it. Gimme a break, willya?"
"I know, guy. I'm just saying don't hold back, okay? You came over here to blow me, so you already know--deep inside--that you want it. I'm just saying that now you're facing reality, do it the way you imagined...like you want to. Get your face between my legs and suck me out of my mind! Cause, buddy, that's what I want to do to you."
"Oh, I see. I...don't think that'll be a problem. I think saying it's harder than doing it, and I really wanna suck your prick. I'll suck the juice right out of it! I've been tasting my own, to see if I could do it, you know? I want you to shoot in my mouth. If you can eat my shit, I can sure drink your jizz. Would you..." I opened my pants, "s-suck me a little to...get me started, maybe? I am still nervous.
"I can see. Your pecker's about as small as it can get." He smiled up at me. "I'll get that fucker big and throbbing! Let's trade blowjobs then maybe we can try some butt-fucking. I'd love to have your fat cock screwing me up the ass. Fuckin's great, fella, you'll love it. I can touch hot spots in your ass with my prick that my tongue can't reach!"
"I...I don't know...if I'm ready for that!" I cringed.
"Don't be silly. You think millions of guys take cock up the ass because it's a bad experience? It's wonderful, believe me."
"Alright. I'll go with whatever you say. Pull your pants off. I wanna lick your balls!"
"Just so I know...before we get too hot and heavy and I try sticking it to you...do you have a turd up your ass tonight? I don't want to hurt you."
"Uh. I dunno...for sure." I couldn't really tell. When WAS the last time I took a shit?
"No problem, right?" He grinned. "I think we'd both love it if you could take a shit first! Am I wrong?"
"N-no. I hope I can. I love watching you lick my shit! That gets me really horny!" My dick was rising rapidly.
"Yeah! We're gonna get along fine!"
I couldn't get enough of his cock! In my mouth and up my asshole! He taught me how to love it. I never looked back. I gave up my apartment and moved in with him. I never shitted in a public place...I always saved it for home. It wasn't always a big ritual. He enjoyed watching me shit even if just in the toilet. Sometimes he'd lick my hole clean, sometimes he wouldn't. Quite often he'd put his mouth over my prick and let me piss into his mouth. I even tried that a couple of time myself.
My standard of living rose, but I kept my body on the ripe side, because that's the way he liked it. Eventually, I got to where I enjoyed him that way...somewhat. I liked when his armpits smelled, and even got to where I enjoyed licking his asshole...not after he took a shit, of course. He liked my fat cock up his bum, too, and I really enjoyed plugging him hard and fast. He'd suck it clean!
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