Drummer Boys

Drummer Boys By Kevin Carson

This story is about my relationship with my friend and, well, more-than-a-jack-off buddy. Yes, it includes gay teen sex stuff. It's based on true experiences but some of the names and places have been changed for privacy. Hey, if this is illegal where you're at or if you're too young to be reading this, then you better not. Getting in trouble isn't cool. All rights reserved. No reproductions permitted without prior permission.

Thanks to everyone who has written to me. I really appreciate your comments/feedback and questions about this story. My email is: kc.drummerboy@yahoo.com.

Sincerely, Kevin.

Part 27.

All I could think about on the way home from the doctor's office was Mark. I followed doctor's orders and got the prescription filled that he gave me for the antibiotic. I was lucky: I didn't see Arlo or Nora in Walgreens. That was a good thing because I just didn't feel like talking to them, or anyone, for that matter. I know that's terrible to feel that way, about two people very important to me, but at that moment I just wanted to be left alone to figure things out. Not that I was purposely avoiding them or anything. What I did want to do was see Mark, or at least talk to him. I bought a bottle of Aquafina and downed two of the pills like I was told. I'm a good little patient.

I called Mark's cell but it went right to voice mail, so I guess he had it turned off. I hung up without leaving a message. But before I put my phone back in my pocket I called him again, and this time I did leave a message. I told him I loved him. The mere thought of Mark having to go into the hospital for surgery had me shook up... unglued... a mess. 'Worried' or 'upset' would be an understatement. I was thinking about Dr. Myers saying that tonsillectomies are "a little tricky with teens" and "there's always the chance of bleeding." What the fuck?

Then, I had to face the fact that, in all probability, Mark wouldn't be going on the civil war trip to Ohio. What a roller-coaster ride that whole thing was. Remember, I was bummed that I wasn't going in the first place, that it was Mark and Townsend who were picked. After I got through that emotional, selfish mess, it's muddied again with Townsend more-than-likely not going because of his brush with trouble. So I rescued him from his stupidity (the stealing) and now, this, Mark's eminent surgery. I'm going and Mark's not. How fucked up is this??

After I swallowed the pills, I popped in a few cough drops too, just because my throat felt more scratchy than painful. I'd been fighting this sore throat for a few weeks now, and thought about the fact that even though Mark is so susceptible to getting strep, I was the one who passed it on to him. He wouldn't have gotten it if I weren't the one harboring the germ. Now I felt guilty. I'm the one who caused this to happen. How much longer am I going to keep fucking up people's lives? First Townsend, by not trying to stop him from shoplifting, and now Mark getting really sick.

Maybe that's the reason Emily is messing with me. Maybe she's my payback, although she fucked with me before I ever did anything to anyone else. And she's just plain old mean. Me?? I only make innocent mistakes, right? Yeah.

When I got home, I realized that at some point I was going to have to tell Dad I went to the doctor and why. But I just wanted to have my story straight. Not that I was gonna lie or anything. Neither Dad nor Keith were home yet, so I went up to my room to lie down, and chewed on a few more of those cough drops. Mmm... wild cherry! De-licious!

Thinking about another "delicious wild cherry," it was only a matter of time before I knew I had to get off, so I unzipped my jeans, grabbed about three kleenexes and reached down in my tighty-whities. I pulled out my bone and went at it like a madman. I slipped out of my jeans and got down on the floor on my knees, sitting back on my feet. I spread my butt cheeks apart, so I could feel my hole a little bit, too. Nice!

I wished I'd thought to get my special drumstick out of the box in my closet, but oh well. I was gonna make this session a quick one. I just didn't know how quick! I was close, but not there yet, when I heard the garage door opener. Dad was home! I either had to stop or hurry it up. I chose the latter, and went from zero to sixty in two seconds. Boom! I squirted a good four or five blasts all over my hand and stomach. Just like downtown! "Damn!" I thought, and wiped up fast.

Even though I was a little out of breath, I ran downstairs to greet Dad quickly, then went back up to my room to call Mark again. Still no answer. I called his house and spoke to his Mom. She said he was sleeping, then confirmed my worst fears: Yup, he definitely had strep, and was in fact going to have a tonsillectomy, and... get this... Mark would have to miss the rest of the school year. Granted, there was only a week left, and it was all bullshit stuff like handing in projects and finals, but still. And it was all but official, he would not be going on the civil war trip. How could he? I almost wished I hadn't called. Fuck!

First, the infection had to clear up, then he could have the surgery. Mrs. Graham admitted to me that he should have had his tonsils out a long time ago. I almost asked if I could come over to see Mark, but I hesitated. Maybe if Keith went to see Lisa I could go along... that way if he was too sick, or whatever, it wouldn't seem like I was desperate. Hell, I don't know... my brain wasn't working right, and I don't even know what I was thinking. I backed out of going to see him.

"Umm... Mrs. Graham, please tell Mark, umm... I said hello..."

"Alright, Kevin, and thanks for calling..."

"Oh, and uhh... does he need me to bring him anything? It wouldn't be a bother... I could stop over tomorrow after school, if he'd like... if that'd be OK..."

"Thanks, but that won't be necessary. His sister will take care of anything he needs."

"Oh. Right. OK, then... I guess that's it. Bye."

The next day was weird. Band was more or less a free period, except for the people playing in the commencement orchestra who were practicing. We no sooner got in the band room when Mr. Walters called me into the music office. This was it...

"Kevin, I'm sure you know about your buddy, Mark Graham, being out sick. I just got off the phone with his mother, and he won't be able to go on the civil war trip...."

"Yes, sir, I know, sorta... I found out last night when I talked to her."

"Well, you're the man! Looks like it will be you and Townsend going. I'll call your father and discuss the details with him. Are you excited?" He asked, smiling.

"Well... yeah, I guess. It's just, I hate it that the three of us can't go..."

"Now, Kevin, we've been through all of this before, and I thought you understood..."

"Oh, I do understand, I do. But I feel so bad for Mark. I mean I'm happy to take his place and all, but it kinda sucks that he's so sick and has to miss out. He deserves to go."

I guess you know it was all pretty predictable, that with Mark needing the tonsil surgery and all, that things would end up not the way they were originally planned. Word got around fast that Mark was out and I was in. At lunch, everyone was talking about it and asking me about him. Townsend seemed more like his old self, laughing and being the life of the conversation at the lunch table.

This one guy, Andy Grimes, who sometimes sits with us, and thinks he knows Mark pretty well, he said he wondered what Mark was gonna do about having sex while he's in the hospital. Scott Kramer said you can't have sex when you're in the hospital, at least you're not supposed to. I should tell you I almost spit out my Mountain Dew during all of this. Andy said he "knew for a fact" Mark was banging Amy Frey. Ha!

"Isn't that right Carson? You're tight with Graham. He's fucking the living shit out of her isn't he?"

"Uhhhh... I dunno... maybe..." I shrugged my shoulders, avoiding eye contact with Andy.

"Yeah, sure you don't know... Graham tells you everything. He's gotta be banging her. He's the horniest bastard on Long Island. I guess he'll just have to jerk off while he's in there... thinking about her. Wouldn't that be hilarious if some nurse caught him!!?? Maybe old Amy will have to give him a blowjob... right there in his hospital bed. It'll be easy wearing those skimpy hospital gowns!"

"OK, you're taking us to a scary place, Andy. Shut the fuck up about Graham's sex life, already. Amy's nice." Scott warned.

That gave me an idea! Apparently Andy Grimes had thought quite a lot about this! Townsend glanced at me and we sorta laughed. I knew why I was laughing, and I think I knew why Townsend was laughing. But we both were laughing enough to blend in with everyone else. Oh, if Andy only knew the truth, that it was me who Mark's fucking, and yes, we ARE tight, er... well, Mark says I am!!

"So... what guy our age ISN'T horny all the time? I'm sure Graham beats off at least every day like the rest of us." Townsend was on a roll. "Come on, Grimes... how many times a day do you jack off? Come on... two?? Two times??" Andy just laughed and shook his head. "Kramer? You gotta do it at least twice a day... probably three!" Scott was laughing too. In fact, we all still were. "You and Matt probably do it together. Right? Rim-shot...you probably jerk it here in school, don't you?!"

That made me blush a little. I said, "No, but I thought about it!" Everyone raised their eyebrows and said "Ooooohhhh!"

Joey Savitch, the red-haired kid, and super-nerd, was the only one not laughing. "This isn't funny, Miller. Everybody doesn't do 'that'."

"What's up your ass, Savitch? You saying you don't fuckin' jack off?"

"No! That's disgusting!"

I thought I was going to witness a full-blown argument about jerking-off habits. Townsend was like, "So you never jerk off? You never play with yourself? Is that what you're saying?"

"No, I don't." Savitch claimed. I thought he was full of shit, but I wasn't going to push it.

"Savitch... you're lying... you're lying to me, right to my face... you're lying!" Townsend was acting and talking like he was on 'The Sopranos'.

"Come on, let it go, Townie..." Scott insisted.

"I think only perverts do that." Joey said.

We all kinda looked at him. "Umm, no, YOU'RE the pervert, Savitch!" Townsend said as the bell rang. I was glad Joey Savitch went another way and we didn't have to deal with him and his 'holier-than-thou' attitude anymore. I told Townsend I was glad he was more himself and that it seemed his life was getting back to normal.

"Yeah, Kev. Things are coming around. Thanks to you. It's really too bad Mark can't go on the trip, but I'm glad you can go. We're gonna have a blast, aren't we?"

"God, I hope so," I said. "I was reading up on everything, like what all we'll be doing, what we should take, and... not take. I won't be able to live without my cell phone."

"Did you see that part about the underwear? They'll issue them to us as part of our uniform," Townsend chuckled. "I dunno dude, it's gonna feel kinda weird having to use an outhouse and stuff. I'm not used to roughing it!"

"Guess we'll have to get used to it!" I added.

"Oh, and...uhh, I think the underwear's optional. I think they're made out of wool, since cotton was from the south and all, I don't think they had much cotton fabric... so... wool underwear? I don't know about that... going commando is probably more like it!" We laughed as we walked our separate ways. After I was alone I felt sorta bad Mark wasn't there to laugh with us.

The next couple of days seemed to fly by, and Mark actually was feeling a little better each day. It seemed the infection, as well as the pain, was going away. The medicines he was on, a combination of antibiotics, decongestants and painkillers, seemed to be doing their job. It was so strange for him to not be at school. But finally I was able to talk to him on the phone and even went over to see him. I'm not sure if his mom liked it or not, but I went anyway. I hated seeing him sick, and hated it even more that I was the one who helped make him sick.

I stayed quite a while the night before the last day of school. "Jeez, tomorrow's the last day! I'm so glad!"

"Yeah, and Friday morning I go to the hospital for the operation."

"Look, I'll be there waiting during the operation Friday, and I'll come Saturday too, before we leave. I promise."

"About that... you and Townsend on the trip... you two better not fool around. I don't wanna have to kick your ass if I find out you two messed around."

"Nothing to worry about. I'll behave, and I'll keep Townie in check, too." I knew Mark was joking, but I almost got choked up. Even though he was obviously still whacked out on the meds, he gave me one of his famous smiles. He whispered, "I love you," and fell asleep. And I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. Since he wasn't covered up with a blanket or anything, I couldn't resist giving his package a nice, firm squeeze, too. Another smile, even in his sleep!

Finally, it was Thursday! I knew the last day of school was too good to be true. The good news is it was the last day of school! The bad news is that, in addition to being without Mark, I had my final confrontation with Emily DeMarco. I can look back on that day now, and say with absolute certainty that what happened changed both Emily and me forever.

We only had a few classes in the morning, and school was to be dismissed at noon. Most people had already cleaned out their lockers and were checking grades on final exams... stuff like that. All the stupid stuff. Everyone was generally in a good mood, including me. At noon, I had stopped in the music office, just to check with Mr. Walters about any last-minute things concerning the trip. I looked for Keith near his locker, so I could be sure to tell him I'd be out in a few minutes and I'd meet him at the car. But I never saw him, so I just went to my locker one last time. And as you might expect, that stretch of hallway was once again deserted... not a teacher or student anywhere in sight. Except "her." You know who I mean... Emily. There she was, lurking in the shadows. Even with my back turned I knew she was there. I dunno, I guess I could feel her presence, or hear her breathing... or... something. Within seconds she went in for the kill.

"Well, Kevin... do you miss your boyfriend? Huh? Are you feeling sorry for yourself because your boyfriend's sick and isn't at school. You poor thing, what'll you do when he's in the hospital?"

"What??!!" I exclaimed, turning around fast on my heels. "What did you just say??"

"I asked if you miss you boyfriend Mark... everyone knows you two are an item. I have proof!"

"Proof my ass! You don't know what the fuck you're talking about" I exploded.

"Oh yeah?? How about a few months ago when you and Mark got caught behind the library making out??"

"Wh-wh-what??" I almost choked. "H-h-how do you know about that?"

"Oh, believe me, I know. What were you doing? Hugging and kissing?"

"Jesus, Emily, you rotten bitch. LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I screamed.

"I know everything, little Kevin!"

"You don't know SHIT!!" I was on the verge of tears and my heart was pounding faster than ever, out of nervousness.

"Oh yes I do... I was there too, dropping off some books. I saw the police. I saw you and Mark. I know what was happening. What were you doing... sucking his thing??"

"Yeah, so what if I was? It's none of your fucking business! GET OUT OF HERE!!!"

"Oh poor little Kevin! Don't get upset! You're not the first guy to get caught kissing his boy lover, you poor little fag."

Calling me a little fag pushed me over the top. That's when I really lost it. I was numb. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?? HUH?? WHAT THE FUCK'S YOUR PROBLEM EMILY? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? NOTHING!! SO WHAT ABOUT MARK AND ME? WHY DO YOU GIVE A SHIT IF WE KISS, FUCK, SUCK, WHATEVER. IT'S MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER DO. WHY ARE YOU JUST AFTER ME, HUH?? WHY DON'T YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING TO HIM? BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE WON'T TAKE ANY OF YOUR SHIT, THAT'S WHY. WHAT MARK AND I DO FOR EACH OTHER IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. NOW GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCK! I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT FROM YOU ANYMORE!! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!"

After I screamed at her I slammed my locker door, hard, and there was my brother standing there. I hadn't seen him until then, and I really had no idea how long he'd been there, or how much he'd heard. But he looked pissed, and dropped his bookbag as he walked right up to Emily and got in her face.

"You fucking asshole, you better leave my brother alone. I swear if you even breathe near him again it'll be the last breath you take. He's right. What'd he ever do to you?"

"Oh, big brother Keith has to stick up for little Kevin... What's the matter Kevin? Are you such a wuss you can't defend yourself?"

"SHUT UPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!" Keith shouted, right in her face. I think some of his spit even landed on her hairy lip. It looked like he was gonna punch her. He kept walking toward her, looking down on her face as she backed up. "This is the end of the road for you... you... fucking cunt. When I get through with you you'll never show your fat ugly face around this school again. Now get lost, you fucking bitch!!" I think Emily had met her match. She looked scared of Keith, and I would be too, he can be so intmidating when he's pissed off. "I SAID TAKE A HIKE!!!!!!!!!!"

She grabbed her stuff and disappeared fast. "Whoa!" was about all I could say. "Th-th-thanks, Keith..."

"Oh stop crying and get your shit. We gotta go."

We pretty much rode home without talking, at first. I was worried about what Keith heard going on with me and Emily. "Keith are you mad at me?"

"Nope." He looked straight ahead.

"Thanks for sticking up for me."

"No problem." There was tension in his voice.

"Pull over. We need to talk."

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to do, take your side?"

"You are pissed at me, aren't you?"

"I said no." He looked away from me.

"Keith, how long were you standing there, by my locker? What did you hear?"

"I heard enough, Kevin. I heard enough." His voice softened, and sort-of nervously shook. He was definitely upset. I didn't have to ask him anymore what all he heard. I could tell he knew what I'd been hiding for months.

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm not who you think I am... but Mark and me... it's hard to understand..."

"Kevin, you're right... I don't understand... you need to talk to Dad."

"NO! I can't talk to Dad about this..."

"Well, you're going to."

"Look, Keith. I didn't mean to disappoint you. This isn't the way I wanted you to find out that I'm..."

"Gay?? Is that it, Kev?? Gay?? Come on, say it!!"

"Keith, it's not like I go around giving every guy I know a blowjob. It's not like that. It's just, with Mark and me... it's so hard to explain... you gotta understand... he means so much to me. Our friendship is just on a whole different plane... shit, even I don't understand it completely. I don't even know how it happened between him and me. He's the only one, Keith, I swear, he's the only one..."

"I am having a hard time understanding this one, Kevin, a really hard time..."

"That isn't the way I wanted you to find out. Please don't hate me Keith, please, and please don't hate Mark."

"Kevin, you're my brother. Nothing could make me hate you. But this isn't the way I wanted to find out something like this about you, you know. I mean, I wish you had just told me... like at home or something."

"I don't know if I ever was going to tell you. It's just so complicated, with Lisa and all... you're not going to say anything to her, are you?"

"Not yet. I gotta let all of this sink in first. But sooner or later you and Mark have to talk about how you're going to handle all of this. I don't know how much good I did with Emily, and shutting her up. The good part is now that school's out she probably won't tell too many people. Even at that I don't think she has many friends. People are on to her, except old Mr. Hartman."

"Oh, I think you scared her. She's not gonna mess with you!"

Keith started to drive again. "I had no idea she was still bothering you."

"She's been tormenting me quietly all along. She'll like walk past me and whisper stupid shit at me, like 'Everyone knows about you, Kevin.' You know, little shit like that. But then she sneaks away.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Who's gonna believe me? Hartman will turn it around and make it my fault. I'm not gonna go through all of that bullshit again."

"You could have told me and I would have kicked he ass a long time ago."

"Yeah, right. And run the risk that she was gonna talk shit about me? I don't think so."

"But in the end she did anyway."

"Do you think anyone else heard Emily and me arguing? I mean... I sorta lost it, and I think I was shouting a bit."

"A 'bit?' You were shouting alright. But no, no one heard. The school was deserted. If anyone heard anything it was the custodian, and they hear kids yelling all the time."

The one thing Keith never mentioned, which I guess means he didn't hear, was the part about Mark and me getting caught by the police. If he didn't bring it up I wasn't going to, either. I agree with him... he heard enough. We were almost home and I asked him one more time if he was mad at me.

"Kevin. I love you, you're my little brother. That'll never change. Am I happy that you're gay? No, not really, not right now. It's gonna take some getting used to, I guess. I wish I'd found out differently, but I didn't. This is what it is. And I'll stick up for you anytime, no matter what it is. But you are going to talk to Dad."

"OK." I had no choice but to agree. "But, Keith, there's just one more thing. I'm not ashamed about the way I feel about Mark. I didn't want to involve you in this, not this way, at least, but I'm not ashamed. Since I'm out to you now, I want you to know that, no matter what."

Luckily, Dad wasn't home yet. Keith and I didn't talk anymore, not then. I went to my room, too keyed up to do anything. I wanted to call Mark and tell him about all of this, but I didn't have the nerve. I didn't want to tell him the day before he goes in the hospital, on top of me being gone a whole week. I decided to wait... indefinitely.

Dad yelled up to us when he got home, and we never actually had dinner that night. We were all just kinda on our own, as far as food went. I waited until Dad was relaxing in the family room, and got up my nerve to talk to him. Still, I was a nervous wreck. Except I had no idea what I was going to say. In the back of my mind I knew this day was going to happen sooner or later. But you're never really prepared.

"Umm... hey, Dad. Got a minute?

"Yeah, big guy, what's up?"

"Dad, I need to talk to you about something."

"OK... sounds serious..."

"Dad, come on..."

"Do you want to sit down?"

"Look, I'll get right to the point. Dad... there's a good chance I'm... I'm pretty sure I'm... Dad, I'm in love. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Wow, I thought we were going to talk about the trip..."

"Dad! I'm serious."

"Well, Kev, We're leaving for Ohio in two days, and you hit me with this? That's a pretty big statement, to say you're in love. You're sure about this, huh?"

"Dad, I mean it, but I don't want you to think I'm dumb..."

"Kevin, I don't think you're dumb at all. It's just that, you know, being in love is major, and you need to be sure. And you're not quite an adult..."

"I know Dad, but there's different kinds of love, right?"

"Kevin, I'm not going to pry, but, yes, you're right, there are different kinds of love, for different people, and loving someone and being 'in love' aren't always the same. My point is, it's something you need to be really sure about."

"OK."

"Love through the eyes of a teenager can be a lot different that from the perspective of someone... more mature."

"Dad, I think I am mature."

"Yes, I'll agree. Maybe a better word is experienced."

"Yeah, 'experienced.' I'm not much good there, that's for sure."

"Son, what brought all of this on, so suddenly? Did something happen? Are you sure it's not just a crush on someone?"

"No, Dad, it's not sudden. I think I've felt this way for a long time... months."

"Hmm, I see..."

"Dad, it's not a typical situation." I could tell Dad wanted more information, but that he wasn't going to push me. He's an excellent critical analyst, and has a way of getting someone to talk. Except I was experienced in his tactics, so I chose my words carefully, too.

"Does the person know how you feel?"

"Yeah."

"And do they feel the same way?"

"Yeah."

Dad shook his head and was pensive, his hand up to his chin. "I just don't want you to get hurt, son."

I was fighting back tears, and so many thoughts were going through my mind. Part of me felt like, if I had to have this conversation, I wanted Mark there with me, so we could proudly say it together. Another part of me was saying this is such dangerous territory... telling a parent you're gay. How would they react? But I had a feeling Dad knew, because he was gentle but firm and serious, his usual style. He was respectful of me. And as far as Dad's feelings towards gays... well, he never said much either way. Dad's fair, and liberal and forward thinking, and he knows what's going on in the world around him. I know he's not gay, but as the conversation progressed and I reflected on other things Dad shared his opinions about, I was getting the feeling he would be accepting.

I also was beginning to feel a tremendous weight being lifted off my shoulders, yet still felt the pressure to act the part of what I'm not, the part most people expect. Not the part of who I really am. I was all mixed up.

"Hurt, Dad? Hurt? The hurt doesn't come from the person I love, it's from others."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I just mean others in general. And it's the not-knowing how they'll react that gets me. I wish I could just forget the rest of the world sometimes."

"Well, Kevin, I don't disagree with you at all. And you can tell me more when you're ready, as much as you want or need to... when you're ready, OK? But I will tell you this. When you know you're in love, when you really, really know... you'll just... know..."

I got up and hugged him, and he hugged me back, really comforting. I'm sure Dad figured it all out, and maybe he had, even before tonight, but the door was open for me to feel comfortable to talk to him more if I needed to. And I'm sure I will.

I smiled through my tears. "I know, Dad... believe me, I know..."

(To be continued...)