Drug Bust
By Ellie Dauber
Copyright 2000
"Effies? I never heard of them, Snake," Rain said.
"Yeah, man. They're cool. They do better than make you high, man, and I just scored a couple hundred of them."
Rain was more than a little skeptical. In the five months he's been in Haight Asbury, he'd heard of -- and tried -- almost a hundred different drugs. Now here came Snake with a new one that he'd never heard of. Impossible.
Rain, or as his parents had insisted on calling him, Myron Wallachek, had heard of Snake. Some said that he was a sailor off a tramp steamer from someplace where the natives grew very strange crops; others whispered that he was a runaway from the Army's "Weird Weapons" program, and that he'd taken a bunch of samples and formulas with him when he left. There were other, even weirder stories, including one that mentioned some town in New Mexico, Rosewell, Rosswood, or something square like that.
Wherever he was from, whomever -- or whatever -- was his source, Snake was said to have the best, the most powerful drugs on the street. In San Francisco in July of 1968, that made him a man to be reckoned with.
"Okay, so how much, and where do I get them?"
"Not so loud, man, or everybody will want some. I only got a limited supply now, but I'm expecting more in a few days. In the meantime," he paused for effect, "I'm making them available at a true discount to a few friends."
"I know you all of three days. How am I your friend?"
"It's the 'Summer of Love', Baby. Everybody is my friend. But you, you I like. We got a lot in common, same taste in music, same attitude about life--"
"Same taste in chicks." Better to bring up the sore spot now, Rain thought. It had turned out that one of the women in the commune he lived in, Flora, had been Snake's lady for a while. In fact, that was how they'd met. Rain and Snake had been panhandling on Decker, and Snake had come over to say, "Hi.". Not knowing that Rain and Flora were sleeping together pretty regularly.
"Water long under the bridge, man." Snake smiled, or tried to. "She and I didn't work. I'm happy, I guess, that she found somebody as good as you to be with."
"You sure?"
"Hey, 'Love and Peace', man." He made the two-fingered sign. "Ain't that what it's all about?"
"True, too true." Rain returned the sign.
"Then let's go, man. The 'effies' are at my place."
Snake's place was a dingy apartment two floors up from a small curio shop. Rain followed him up a narrow stairwell that was lit by bare bulbs hanging down at each landing. Rain still was a little suspicious of Snake. He remembered that day on Decker.
"Who the hell is this, Flora?" He was a stocky man about 5 foot ten, fairly muscular, with a snake tattoo on his right arm.
"Snake!" Flora grabbed at Rain's arm. "I - I didn't expect you to see you again, so soon." She was a cuddly bundle of curves, her sandy brown hair in braids that reached most of the way down her back. Rain could feel the heat of her body through her light cotton dress. He smiled at the thought that she was naked beneath it.
"Is that why you moved out?" Snake was gesturing wildly now. "I said I'd be back in a week."
"And then you'd be out dealing whatever you brought back."
"Hey, I got to earn a living. How are we going to live with no bread?"
"Live? You come home, and it's like I'm not even there. Unless you got horny. Then it's ten minutes of fun, and you're done for the night. That's not a life. It's a life sentence, and I got myself paroled."
"Yeah, and I can see what you got to rescue you." He glared at Rain. "Get lost, hippy. Go count your beads."
Rain straightened to his full six foot two, his hands clenching into fists. He was a man of peace and love, but in his previous life back in Heyden, Idaho, he'd lettered in wrestling and football. "Would you care to re-think that last remark, brother?"
Rain looked the shorter man over. He was pretty sure that he could take the other man, but he didn't want to have to fight. That was why he came to the Haight, to get away from that small town aggressive bullshit. He stuck out his hand. "Flora's a free being seeking her own way in the universe. She moved out because she needed her space. It was her need, not your fault. Isn't that right, Flora."
"I -- I guess."
The man, Snake, still looked mad. "You still shouldn't have moved out; especially while I was gone. I thought that you and I --" He let the sentence dangle.
"I do love you, Snake, but not in the way you want."
"And him?" He pointed a thumb at Rain.
"Maybe." She looked down. "I don't know. He's a friend right now, just one of the guys in the commune."
"It's settled, then. Let me buy us all some coffee." Rain decided to take over before anything went wrong. Before Flora told Snake that she and Rain were sharing a lot more than brown rice and yoga. "I know a spot about a block from here, and what we took in will more than cover three cups of fresh Columbian."
Snake's body un-tensed, and he almost smiled. "No. Thanks, but I need to think about things a little bit."
"Just relax, my friend, and go with the flow." He put his hand on Snake's shoulder.
Snake shook the hand free. "I'll go with it, I guess. But I'm not sure I'll like the trip." He turned and `walked slowly away.
Rain noticed that Snake was smiling the same almost smile now as they reached his apartment. It still wasn't very convincing.
Snake unlocked the door. He opened it just a little and reached inside. Rain heard the sound of several switches clicking. "Booby traps," Snake said. "A few real nasty surprises if anybody tries to break into my place." He opened the door wide. "After you, Rain."
Rain smiled and bowed low. "No, Snake, after you." He narrowed his eyebrows and said without any emotion, "it is your place after all."
"I'm hurt that you think that I'd do something like that." He shrugged and walked carelessly into the room.
Rain followed him in and looked around the place.
It was a large single room. There were a few concert posters up on the wall: Jefferson Airplane and a couple of groups whose names he didn't recognize. There was a kitchenette along one wall, a small table with a couple of mis-matched chairs around it. The record player was on an overturned crate that doubled as table and record cabinet. A sofa and two overstuffed chairs were nearby. Against the fourth wall, next to a door to what looked to be the bathroom, was a stack of mattresses with a mess of blankets and pillows. The bed, Rain guessed. Some clothes hung from a pipe frame rack on one side. Books were scattered all over the floor.
He looked back at the door. Just to one side about three feet off the ground was a panel with some nasty looking switches. Rain couldn't see where they led. There was some kind of clock or timer attached as well. It looked like something from a mad scientist's lab by way of an electronics hobby shop.
"Not bad, huh?" Snake said. "It's hooked up, so the booby traps activate if I don't turn the thing off with twenty seconds of opening the door."
"I guess." Rain shrugged. "So where's this new stuff that's get me high?"
"Gets you better than high." Just a minute, man." Snake walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. Rain heard him turn the water on. Hard. He flushed the toilet, too. Probably to cover whatever noises he makes getting to his stash, Rain thought.
Snake came back into the room a few moments later. He was holding a small metal box that he set on the bed. It was painted a drab green with some sort of stenciled lettering on it, "US ARMY CHEMSPECCOMM 028-89507". The box had a built-in combination lock.
Snake sat down on the bed and turned the box, so Rain couldn't see him work the combination. The top popped up. Snake reached inside and took out a small bottle with some green pills. He unscrewed the cap and took out a pill. "Here you go man."
"If they're so good, Snake, why don't you join me?"
"Still, don't trust me?" He took out a second pill and popped it in his mouth. "Okay now." He handed Rain the pill.
"Well, if you took one, I guess they're okay." He swallowed the pill.
Snake made a gesture with his hand. "Sure, only I didn't take one." He was holding the pill between two fingers. "Slight of hand, it's just a hobby, but it comes in handy sometimes."
"You bastard." Rain made a grab for Snake. And missed. He was beginning to feel very weird. Every muscle in his body seemed to be twitching. His legs buckled beneath him, and he sank back onto the bed.
Snake's voice seemed to be coming from very far away. "Don't fight it, Rain. It'll go easier if you dombt svort..." The words changed into random noise. His vision blurred as the room began to spin, all the colors running together into starfish and pinwheels. Fireworks plumes shot past his eyes, changing in a dance of glowing, flowing colors.
Normally, Rain would have just sat there and enjoyed it. This time he couldn't his body just felt so damn strange, like it wasn't even his body any more. Every muscle seemed to be twitching as if an electric current was going through him. He felt a weight on his chest and a sharp pinching in his groin. His scalp itched as if something was happening to his hair, and his clothes - his clothes seemed to be moving across his body as if they - or it - were changing.
Rain could hardly tell how long the effect lasted. Five minutes or five hours, he would never be able to tell. But end it did. Rain suddenly found himself sitting on the bed looking up at Snake who was sitting beside him.
Looking up? Rain was a good five or six inches taller than Snake. "What in the hell --" He stopped. His voice sounded different, much higher than he was used to. Was he still high? Instinctively, he put his hand to his throat.
The first thing Rain noticed was that his "Adam's Apple" was missing. The second was that his beard was missing, too. Then he looked at his hand. It was so much smaller, with long slender fingers. A girl's hand. No, it couldn't be.
Rain looked down. He had shrunk. His clothes were far too big now. His T-shirt looked like a tent on him. Except that something -- two somethings - were pushing it out from his chest. He pulled out the collar of his shirt and looked down. He saw a pair of tits, round and firm, with areola the size of half dollars.
One hand shot into his pants. They were plenty loose at the waist, though they felt tight around his hips and butt. His fingers searched franticly for the old familiar bulges, but they weren't there. His fingers poked around, but all they could find was a slit, a woman's slit.
"Looking for something?" Snake was smiling.
"What the hell did you do to me?"
"What do you think I did? You won't be screwing Flora now." He reached over and gently squeezed one of Rain's breasts, messaging it as he tweaked the nipple. "In fact, I'll be the one you'll be screwing."
Rain tried to push Snake's hand away. Snake blocked it with his other arm and kept rubbing. It was as if he was pumping shots of pure warmth, of pure pleasure, into Rain's body. Rain stopped fighting. He couldn't. It just felt too good. Rain leaned back supporting himself with both arms.
Now Snake was rubbing both breasts. The pleasure increased and increased in waves. Rain began to pant. He felt a wetness in his shorts. His head rolled back and forth and his hips began to rock in rhythm to the motion of Snake's hands.
Suddenly a jolt of pure pleasure shot straight from Rain's crotch to his brain. He lifted his hips off the bed and screamed. His voice was high and shrill. When it was over, Rain was lying limp on the bed.
"What the hell did you do to me?"
"Like it? That was a female orgasm. Get used to them man. Your body is in female hormone overdose, fully aroused and horny as a hoot owl."
"No!" But it was true. Rain's new body had thrilled to the orgasm, and it wanted more, lots more, of them. His shorts were drenched. He needed a plug. A big plug. Plunging in and out of him - out of her. Rain admitted to herself that she was female now. She lifted her butt off the bed and wriggled out of her pants.
Snake smiled and unbuckled his jeans. Rain looked at the bulge in his shorts and licked her lips in female anticipation. "That stuff certainly did more than make me high," she said. "Just like you said."
"No, I said that it would make you better than high. And it did. It made you broad."
The End
"Effies", by the way, is short for "Effeminol diethelamide-243", a drug created by CHEMSPECCOMM (U.S. Army Chemical Special Command) in 1967. The effects are as described in the story. It was an idea that I came up with a couple of years ago that FINALLY grew into a story, this story (thanks to the pun at the end). It may show up again.