Drifting

This is a two part love story. There is a little gay sex described in it so if this is not your thing please leave this site.

Usual rules apply concerning the legality of your reading this and the story is copyright to the author.

Drifting

Part 1

I was drifting, I knew it, I had been reading a story about another boy my age, sixteen, who was drifting. None of it made sense though.

Until about two years ago I had been a reasonably popular guy in the thick of all the guys that were destined to be the jocks in Senior School. I had lots of friends, made good grades and was always picked for the football team in the winter and the athletics squad in the summer. Mum and Dad were great, understanding, supportive, loving and caring, all the good things parents were meant to be. I could talk to my Dad about any problems and although I can't, hand on heart, say I followed his advice every time at least I had it to work with.

Then something happened. I had been jacking off for about two years, no problem, I was so horny that I got off just rubbing my hand up and down my tube. Guys at school with older brothers told me about lubrication so I never got sore even when I was beating my meat three, four times a day. Parents knew, I guess, because I did make a mess of my sheets occasionally and if I was late in the morning I guess my cum rag got left for Mum to see, but none of it was ever mentioned. Just normal boy activity was how my Dad put it when I did manage to talk to him about my problem, years after all the angst had fucked up my life for a while.

So why was I drifting? Why by the time I was sixteen had I lost most of my friends, dropped out of organised sport, seen my grades plummet and become a partial recluse. Two words, Jamie Oliver, nah, not the big time Chef, one of my class mates. I was in love with him, the more I saw him the more I loved him, everything about him. It started with lust, lust with a capital L. Looking back I wonder if my school had become so progressive, (or regressive depending on your mind set), to avoid boys like me ever finding our true selves. You see, our changing rooms were divided up so that each boy had a private cubicle with shower to change in before and after sport. So we never got to see each other naked. It didn't worry me until the fateful day when I was fourteen and full of testosterone and raging hormones. I accidentally pushed into a cubicle that wasn't locked but contained a boy, not any boy, Jamie. He was naked and stood under the shower, back to me. I think that was the fastest I had ever got hard. He looked perfect to me but when he turned round as I apologised his perfection rating doubled. His butt and his cock and balls were to die for. I remember I blushed furiously, turned and ran into a free cubicle, stripped and beat off to the most incredible orgasm of my young life, yeah, thinking about Jamie of course. I spent the next two years beating off thinking about Jamie and realising I was GAY. I wanted to die. Jamie was a footballer like me so I dropped out of the football squad and latched on to the gym instead. Then I had to be careful when I went to the gym making sure that I was alone or nearly so and never went near the changing room. Summer that first year I kept up the athletics but got a reputation for being weird because I never used the changing rooms. I never did anything that would see me exposed to nearly naked boy flesh. My mind drifted in class because Jamie sat diagonally across from me so that I only had to twist my head a little to get a good look at him, the soft curls holding his ears, the neat way he would just suck his finger when he was thinking, the slight upward twitch of an eyebrow when the teacher said something he thought was wrong. So yes, you've guessed, my grades started to slide. Things went downhill slowly to start with gathering momentum so that my GCSE results were a real shocker. My parents knew something was wrong, huh, how could they not?

The fun loving fourteen year old with a ton of friends good grades and a more than adequate jock had become a non responsive recluse not doing any sport turning in crummy assignments and generally, I guess, being a pain in the butt for parents and teachers alike.

The big crunch for me came just after the start of my two senior years. They should have been the best school years ever. Sixteen years old, so treated more like an adult than a child, no school uniform and a slightly easier routine because I only had four subjects to study.

I guess it hit me one lunch break about three weeks into that first term. I wandered off to the end of the playing fields and sat with my back to the school propped up against a tree so that I was hidden from everyone. I was still in love with Jamie, he had tried so hard to remain my friend but I had pushed him away. I wanted him so much I couldn't stand him being near me. I thought about the nowhere my life was going and I suppose allowed a huge wave of self pity to engulf me. I felt the tears pricking the back of my eyes. I laughed, I couldn't remember the last time that I had cried, but it happened, the flood gates opened and all my anger, frustration and loneliness poured out. I was pretty soon engulfed in gut wrenching sobs that were tearing me apart.

Suddenly a strong pair of arms had engulfed me pulling me into a warm body, and a soft voice said,

"Mattie, what is it, please don't cry, I'll help whatever it is but please don't cry."

I didn't want to open my eyes, I knew who it was. The last person in the world I wanted near me.

"Go away Jamie, you can't help, just leave me alone."

Bastard, he just hugged me harder and stroked my back. He spoke so quietly into my ear that I could only just make out what he was saying.

"Please let me help Mattie, I'm your friend, I've always been your friend. Don't push me away anymore, let me help you."

I just threw my arms round his neck and howled even louder. It was ages before I let the despair all out and stopped crying. When I pushed away from him and looked at him I saw the concern in his eyes and something else. I didn't know what the something else was at the time. All I knew was that I wanted to get away from him, away from the embarrassment of him seeing me completely lose it. I just ran, no thought in my mind other than getting away from the boy I was madly in love with.

I ran all the way home and up to my room, threw myself on my bed and howled again, wonder I didn't flood the bedroom I guess.

Sods Law applied that day and probably saved my sanity. Dad was a hard working executive and virtually never came home early. He did that day and as soon as he walked in the door he could hear my very plaintive sobs. Before I knew what had hit me I was in my second cuddle of the day. This one was different, this was the man that I had virtually shut out of my life for the last two years, the man that never lost his temper with me, was always telling me that nothing was so bad that I couldn't talk to him about it and most of all he never forgot to tell me that he loved me.

"Come on Son, don't you think it's time you let your old man help you with this one. Some monster problems that a sixteen year old has don't seem quite so big to a forty year old, why don't you share them with me and see what we can do together?"

I just sobbed louder. He kept prodding though and eventually I spoke.

"I can't tell you, I just want to die."

Boy was that ever the wrong thing to say. Dad picked me up and shook me like I was a rag doll.

"Don't you ever say that again. Don't you dare even think it. If your mother heard that she would be the one dying. I love you Matt, I love you with all my heart, I have bled a little everyday watching you grow into yourself these last two years, please tell me what the problem is Son, we'll solve it between us I promise."

I laughed hysterically, "You can't solve it Daddy, I'm a little queer boy."

I was waiting for him to throw me down and walk away but what he did was nearly crush me in a hug.

"Are you telling me that this last two years has all been about you being gay?"

He sounded amazed. I just nodded.

The anger was there again as he held me away from him.

"You little idiot, you've wasted two years of your life being miserable. Why didn't you come to me and talk about it, we were always able to talk."

I could see the concern and the love and I felt like shit shutting him out the way I had done.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I'm so sorry, I thought you would hate me if I told you."

"Oh Matt, I could never hate you. You are part of my body, you were conceived in love and born into love. We could never hate you.

So, very shame faced I told my Dad how it had all started and continued up to today when I had lost it and Jamie had been the one to see me lose it.

Dad was great, he told me this was 2008 not 1908, being gay was an acceptable alternative life style, hell, you can even get married to a same sex partner if you want to he said.

"This is nothing to be ashamed of nothing to make you want to die. Your life will not be as easy as it would be if you loved girls but it's getting better every year Son. I'll talk to some people and we'll see if we can get a specialist councillor to help you sort out how to handle this while you are still at school."

"I don't want to see a shrink Dad."

He laughed. "A shrink is for someone who is sick in the head Matt, you aren't, you just need some guidance that I don't feel qualified to give you."

Father /Son talk finished Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said.

"Why don't you go and wash up then come and help me raid the fridge before your mother gets in?"

Companionable silence while we ate huge doorstep sandwiches, neither of us had eaten lunch. We were still in the kitchen when Mum came in, surprised to see both of us, and me actually talking.

"Ok, and what have my two men been up to?"

She was smiling but Dad soon wiped that smile away.

"Our Son decided to tell me why he has become almost unbearable these last two years. Honey, you aren't going to have any grand children. This young man thinks that boys are number one and girls aren't. You are going to be greeting boyfriends when he finds them not girlfriends."

Dad was grinning because of Mum's shocked expression, and then it softened and I got my third hug of the day.

"Oh you poor Darling, you've been carrying that around for two years and not spoken to anyone about it."

Well, I knew one place I didn't have any problems, not a bad place to start puting my life together again. It got better a little later. The phone rang, it was Jamie wanted to know if I was ok.

"Matt, it's Jamie Oliver, do you want to talk to him?"

I wanted to say no but realised I would have to talk to him sometime and this was better than doing it in public.

"Hi Jamie."

"I was worried about you. Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine no problems." Obviously not a good liar because he laughed.

"Mmm, I could tell," then he went all serious, "Mattie I really meant what I said at lunch time, let me help if you have a problem. I want to be your friend again, you're the only guy I've ever wanted as my best friend."

Wow, that sounded serious and I wanted to die again.

"You can't, you are the problem." I slammed the `phone down, ran up to my room and, yeah, I did it again, burst into tears.

Dad again, more cuddles more gentle reassurance that we would sort it between us.

"What am I going to do Daddy, I love him so much and now he wants us to be best friends. Every time I see him I want to hold him and tell him I love him, how can we be best friends like he wants?"

Dads aren't infallible, he couldn't answer that one.

"I don't know Son, we'll just have to work on it."

Some people don't know when to leave well alone and thank God, Jamie was one of those. Half an hour after I had slammed the `phone down Jamie was at my front door. My bedroom door was open and I could hear him as he talked to Mum in the hall.

"I think I might be part of Matt's problem Mrs. Pearson, please let me talk to him."

Then I heard Dad.

"I ought to say no Jamie but perhaps this is the best place for you to talk to Matthew, we can keep a grip on it better if it all goes wrong."

I knew that last comment was aimed at Mum. I realised that I had 100% parental support on this one and had faith in my Dad's ability to carry me through whatever happened. He loved me and I believed that could move mountains.

Jamie came into my bedroom looking very worried. I was on my bed having made no attempt to cover up the fact that I had been crying. I pointed to my desk chair which he swung out and plonked into. He looked round my room and noticed that despite my non involvement with football I was still an enthusiast. I had posters and memorabilia from my team all over the place.

"Cool." He said, grinning at me. Quick change then as he became very serious.

"Mattie you said I couldn't help you solve your problem because I am it. What did you mean?"

I looked away from him, if I didn't I knew I would cry again, he was just so beautiful it made my heart constrict to look at him

"I can't tell you, please just leave Jamie."

"No, I love you Mattie and I'm not leaving until you promise to let me help."

Christ that word hit me between the eyes and nearly knocked me out.

"What do you mean you love me?"

"Come on dufus, how many definitions of love do you know?"

I looked up then, he looked worried, but then the other thing I had seen this afternoon was there again.

"You mean love as in `I love you Mattie?'"

He dropped his eyes and almost whispered, "Yes Mattie as in I love you."

"How long for?"

He looked up again, "I don't know, two, maybe three years."

I searched his eyes, he couldn't love me, I couldn't be that lucky, he had to be winding me up, but I wanted to believe him.

"Yeah, right, Mr. Bloody `I can have any girl I want' Oliver loves no hoper Matt Pearson. Fuck off Jamie let me handle my own problems."

I was angry and it got worse, he just folded his arms across his chest and said.

"Nope, I'm not leaving here until we sort out your problem. If I'm the problem tell me how."

Funny to see really because although Jamie was a well buffed high school jock standing a full six foot tall, his soft curls and beautiful features could easily fool you into thinking he was soft.

We talked, or should I say shouted around it for ages until out of frustration I screamed for Dad to come and throw him out.

"Matt, I've been eves dropping. Listen to what Jamie is saying, listen to the conviction when he says it, he has solved your problem. Have a little faith Son."

Then he left, leaving me glaring at Jamie, who fortunately had a heap more sense than I have.

"You fucking idiot Matthew Pearson, how long have you known?"

"Known what?"

"You love me don't you, I'm your problem because you love me."

"Rubbish," but I was blushing like hell.

Jamie grabbed me in another hug, this was definitely my day for hugs.

"Oh Mattie, I don't want to be just your best friend, I want to be your boyfriend. I love you so much, I never wanted any other boy than you. I look at all the other guys in the changing rooms and think about my friendships with them and realise that you are better than any of them. I've loved you for so long, please Mattie, please let me be your friend again."

He pulled back a little, lined up our mouths and kissed me, barely brushing my lips with his but when he did I nearly fainted. Then he did it again and my legs went, he had to carry me to my bed. Then I cried again, the last time. These were happy tears though. When they stopped we both started blushing as we looked at each other. I could feel his erection pushing into me and he could feel mine.

"Oh Jamie." I sighed.

He giggled, "Oh Mattie, is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me."

I looked at him quizzically. "Oops sorry, my grandpa is an old movie freak, that was an expression some blond actress used in one of her films and he loves it."

"Well for your information this is a pistol, I think, because it is about to explode."

"Mine too, what can we do about it?"

"Wait," I said, scrambling up and leaning out of my bedroom door yelled down the stairs. "Everything is fine Dad, we just need a little privacy to sort this out so I'm closing my door."

I looked back and Jamie was already nearly naked. I joined him in double quick time. We just stood looking at each other with our straining erections pushed out in front of us.

"You are so beautiful, I fell in love with you the day I burst in to your shower cubicle by mistake, but now you are even more incredible."

He walked towards me and kissed me again as he grabbed my cock and caressed it gently. On the bed and we helped each other get off. About one minute flat for both of us I think. We just turned each other on. We kissed a lot after that touching each other everywhere as we did.

"I can't believe that at lunch time I just wanted to die because I love you so much and now we are doing it."

Jamie nodded, "We are so stupid, we could have been doing this for the last couple of years."

We cleaned ourselves up and dressed. When we got back down to the lounge, both grinning like Cheshire Cats, Dad, grinning as well said, "Problem solved?"

I blushed, took Jamie's hand and said, "Yes Dad, big time. You and Mum won't have to worry about my boyfriends in future, there is only ever going to be one."

The light in my eyes and the love emanating from Jamie's were all the assurance my parents needed, to know that the son they had two years ago was going to re-emerge.

Part 2 coming soon.

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Chris Johns, at home in Antigua. chris-johns@hotmail.com