Hey all. Here's the next part of Dreams of an Angel. A little bit sloppy I think, but after reading it again and again, I can't seem to find anything to adjust so it'll have to do I guess. Anyway, again, thanks for the cool feedback guys. You guys are the coolest :)
Onwards to the boring part! Legal matters! Hehehe. You can press 'fast-forward' now.
Well, first of all, this story, as you will certainly find out soon, is TOTALLY fictional. So! If any of you truly believe in it... well, my brother is studying psychiatry right now for his final medical examination in April, so maybe I'll just refer you to him. You'd make a good delusional subject. Secondly! None of the guys in the Backstreet Boys are gay! (No matter how hard I wished it :P). But nobody say we couldn't dream it, heh heh. Thirdly, Warren Worthington is actually a character from Marvel Comics, X-men known as Angel or recently Archangel. Okay fine, I admit it. I'm bored and I am making a pathetic attempt to make life a lil' bit interesting. Its not like I'm gonna publish it or something. What else to talk about hmm? Oh, there may be some adult gay scenes in this story. Unlike my brother, I don't mind writing naughty stuff ;) so! If you're underage, naughty, naughty! I can only ask you to go away, but I cannot do anything else to stop you from reading on anyway. Hell! I've been sneaking into the internet to watch gay porns since I was 13! So, if your parents or whoever responsible for you catch you, don't say I didn't warned you. However, if you're homophobic... well maybe I can seduce you enough to turn you around heh heh. I do so love a challenge ;)
Anyway, enough talk. Any comments or boos or suggestion or whatever, just sent it to the same address as in NNTs, goldenknightuk@yahoo.co.uk . Yeah, we shared the same address. Don't ask. Long story.
Okay then! On to the show. Now, don't be shy now. If you got any comments or suggestions, just drop me a note. You do the request, and I'll do the show.
Andy
"What... what's an empath?" Nick asked nervously.
Warren smiled reassuringly at him in return.
"There are three types of psionist." Warren replied. "Telepathy, telekinesis and empathy."
"Telepathy deals mostly with thoughts. A telepath can project his or her thoughts into another person's mind. They can also manipulate another person's thoughts, altering it and making it as if the recipient came up with the altered thought all by his or herself." Hank explained patiently, as if giving a lecture. "Telekinesis, however, deals with the manipulation of the natural psychic energy of the mind, converting it into a well-defined psychic forces that can be focused and projected externally to move any selected object in the surroundings."
"Empathy, however, deals mostly with emotions." Hank continues, "An empath can sense and receive other people's emotions. They can also project his or her emotions to other people, making the recipients experience that emotion as if it is their own. In a way, an empath is similar to a telepath, except for the fact that empaths deals with a more basic aspect of the mind. They can manipulate thoughts like telepaths but only through an indirect method, i.e. via the manipulation of emotions. Remember, thoughts are influenced by emotions, and..."
"What Hank is trying to say is, you can manipulate other people's emotions." Jean interrupted gently, causing Hank to blink in surprise. Jean smiled at him apologetically. Like all brilliant scientists, Hank does tend to wander off from time to time when he got caught up in a scientific topic. "It is a wonderful gift, Nick, because empaths are very rare in the world. So far, I've only encountered three, two of them as enemies. But even compared to all of them, I've never encounter one as strong as you."
"How strong?" asked Warren.
"Very strong." Jean replied softly, looking at Nick with wonder in her eyes. "I scanned your mind as best I could, trying to find some idea as how strong your potential in empathy is but no matter how far I stretched myself, I couldn't even feel your limits. I'd say you are as strong in empathy as Professor Xavier and Emma Frost are strong in telepathy, and these two people are amongst the strongest telepaths that I know of!"
Warren looked at Nick worriedly as the young man sagged in his arms.
"Nick? Are you all right?" he asked in concern.
Nick simply stares at the space before him without answering. So he is a mutant after all. His life will never be the same again. People will hate him now. His family will hate him. His friends... Kevin, Brian, AJ... especially Howie... will hate him when they finds out about this. They will kick him out of the group. No one wants to associate themselves with mutants. Howie would even add a little bit of trashing just to make his hell complete. And what about his parents? Mom and Dad have nothing against mutant in general but do they really? What about the fact that their son is a mutant himself? Would they be able to handle that? No parents would want a mutant freak as their son, no matter how tolerant they are to mutants, especially one who cannot be trusted because he could manipulate their emotions and thoughts. His parents would disown him. His brother and sister will hate him. His friends will never trust him.
"Nick," Warren called him softly and worriedly as tears began to well up in Nick's eyes and spill onto his cheeks.
Unable to hold the bitterness inside anymore, Nick began to sob quietly, and Warren's heart sank as he looked at the lost expression in Nick's eyes. The sob grew and Warren could only wrap his arm around the young man and hold him against his chest, letting him cry against it. Inadvertently, he remembered the time when his own mutation manifest itself too; the time when his wings sprout from his back. He knew what Nick is going through right now, because he underwent the very same thing back then. All mutants went through the same thing. No one wants to be a mutant. No one wants to be a freak. No one wants to be different from everyone else. But that is not for them to decide, especially when it comes to being mutants, as much as they could not decide what powers they would want to wield as a mutant. The X-gene does not discriminate on who gets to be a mutant and who will get one particular power. If you're a mutant, you're a mutant. That's the end of it.
Looking down at Nick, his eyes saddened and he knew that the only thing he could do right now is holding Nick and ensuring him that he is not alone.
'Warren,' Jean's telepathic voice manifests itself in Warren's mind. 'Comfort him and talk to him. He trusts you and will listen to you. Hank and I will wait outside to give you some privacy. You must convince him to accept his mutation and learn to control his empathic ability, Warren, because his controls are slipping.'
'Can you help him? Built up a mental shield to protect his mind?' Warren replied telepathically.
'He already has his own mental shield, Warren. In any case, my knowledge in empathy is limited.' Jean replied sadly. 'Most of my efforts are in honing my telekinetic abilities, not telepathy. The Professor has more experience in dealing with empaths than I. You must convince him to go to Westchester.'
'Jean is right, my friend.' Warren heard Hank's telepathic voice in his head too. He was not aware that Jean has formed a telepathic link connecting all three of them. 'Professor Xavier can help him.'
'How could Nick already has a mental shield?' asked Warren.
'I'm not sure,' Jean replied quietly. "I suspect that Nick's empathy manifested itself years ago, probably while he was 15 when his first episodes of headache manifest itself. But as I understand from his history, he enrolled himself into his present singing career at around that age too. The excitement and determination to reach his goal must have enabled him to subconsciously build up a mental shield of his own to hold all the external emotions out. Judging by how strong he is, the shield he built was equally strong too, which explains how he was able to withstand all the concerts and crowds throughout these past years. But as the years pass on, the shield began to crack and thin. It must have snapped at last because I saw the remnants of it while I was inside his mind.'
'He must learn to built it up again and also control his empathic ability so that he does not project his own emotions to other people. I remembered you mentioning that there were times when his bad mood seems to spread to the rest of his bandmates, causing them to snap at each other? Well that's one sign that his control is slipping, causing his emotion to be projected externally.'
'It also explains his constant daydreams. Daydreams usually reflect a person's mood or emotions. Considering that Nick tends to receive different moods from different persons, its no wonder he would daydream a lot. It also explains all the mixed emotions he felt during the show. He was basically experiencing the emotions of everyone in the audience! No wonder he lost control at last and passed out. No matter how strong he is in empathy, I doubt he could be strong enough to handle the emotional load of thousands of excited people at one time without the proper mental shielding to filter it appropriately. He was practically drowned in a sea of emotions. The same thing must have happened at the mall.'
'I don't know if I can do this, Jean.' Warren replied as he rubs his hand soothingly as Nick clings to him.
'You must, Warren.' Jean insisted. 'Nick is strong. Far stronger that anything I had ever imagine. Without control, his empathy could reach out to everyone around him with hardly an effort, and the effect could be devastating. He could be a menace to both himself and everyone around him. He MUST learn to control it.'
Warren looked down to the sobbing young man before him for a moment before nodding his assent.
'I'll see what I can do.' Said Warren.
"Hank and I will wait outside. I'll try to persuade Jubilee and the others to go out to the swimming pools or something so that they wouldn't barge in while you two are talking. Please Warren. He trusts you. You're the only one who can reach out to him. Come on, Hank.' Said Jean as she leads Hank outside quietly and close the door.
Warren closed his eyes in weariness as he gently rocks the sobbing Nick. Memories of the past assault him one after the other and inadvertently, his own eyes began to well with tears as well. Why is it that the world could be so cruel to those who are innocent?
"Nick?" Warren called gently.
His arm is still wrapped around Nick protectively. Warren couldn't ever recall when he has ever been so protective to anyone as he is now with Nick. Even when he was with Betsy, he was never this close or this protective, and he was with Betsy longer than any of his other previous relationship. Maybe it is because Betsy never really needs his protection. Betsy is a skilled telepath - more skilled than Jean, but less than the Professor - her psychic knife itself is as potent as any other weapon, and has defeated other stronger mutants more than once. Betsy is also a skilled ninja fighter, a talent that makes her more valuable to the team than her telepathic skills. No, Betsy doesn't need his protection at all. And to be honest, it was partly because of that Warren doesn't feel too sad when Betsy decided that they should break up. Warren wanted to be with someone whom he could take care of, and that is the last thing Betsy needed. She is more than capable to take care of herself. By staying together, Warren would only get in Betsy's way. He loves Betsy... but it's better to let her go.
But Nick, now. Nick is different. He is a guy, so Warren knew he couldn't be with him. Yet, Nick needs someone to be there for him right now. He is young, innocent and hell! He has just had his whole perfect world crashes down all around him by realizing that he is a mutant... the very thing the whole world seems to hate and despise. Warren cannot abandon him now even if he wanted to. Not only that being an X-men, he is obligated to help every mutant in need, but he has really grown to like Nick. No, not in the romantic kind of way; but not exactly in a friendship kind of way either, but somewhere in between. The bottom line is Nick needs help and support right now. And Warren is more than willing to be there for him. He couldn't take care of Betsy, but he could take care of Nick.
"Nick?"
Nick sobs has lessen to an occasional sniffing, but the young man still rest his head against his chest, his eyes staring dully to the side. Gently, he strokes the hair at the back of Nick's head.
"You okay?" Warren asked softly.
Nick only blinked once, and one more tear slipped from his eye and rolled down his cheek. Feeling Warren's eyes upon him, he turned to hide his face.
"Nick, remember what I told you earlier that it's okay to cry?" said Warren gently as he stroke Nick's hair. "Please don't hide your face from me."
"I'm a..." Nick whispered against Warren chest but couldn't make himself finishes the sentence.
"No, Nick. You're not a freak." Said Warren softly. "Please, don't think like that. I'm a mutant too. Do you think of me as a freak?"
Slowly, he reached to his side and switch off his image inducers.
"I have blue skin and wings. Am I a freak to you?" Warren asked again. "Am I a monster?"
"No!" Nick answered immediately. Slowly, Nick raised his head to look at Warren. A stab of emotional pain rose within Warren's heart as he looks at the lost look within Nick's eyes. "No... I..."
Gently, Warren wiped the trail of tear from Nick's cheek.
"I was scared when I found out I was a mutant too." Warren whispered softly. "I lived in hiding and constant fear most of my young life, not for myself, but for my father. Should some of his business partner find out about me, all that my father has achieved is doomed."
"Then, my father died from an accident, and I am left alone to fend for myself and to manage the Worthington Empire. I have to painfully strapped my wings tightly behind my back and sit in the shadow everyday so that people wouldn't notice my wings. Do you have any idea how tormenting it is to do that every single day? One day, I have my father to protect me from the world. Then, on the next day, I was forced to go out to fend for myself, mutant or not, or lose everything my family has ever achieved. Could you go through that, Nick?"
Nick remained silence.
"Then comes the Morlock Massacre, and the Marauders destroyed my old wings." Tears sting Warren's eyes as memories after memories came back crashing down into his eyes that he doesn't even see Nick jerking his head up to stare at him in horror. "Harpoon impaled my wings with his disruptive lance... and the rest of the team arrived too late. They took me to the hospital. It could have been saved but another plot was working against me. Hodge... once my trusted friend... turned out to be a mutant-hater. He ordered my wings amputated, and then set off to make a grab for all my money."
Tears are flowing down his cheek now and Nick's grip of his hand hardened.
"Then came Apocalypse's offer to restore my wings, in return that I serve him as Death, one of his four Horseman. Half mad by the loss of my wings, I accepted the offer only to realize my mistake at the last minutes. He twisted my soul and my body, giving me wings of metal, this cursed blue skin and rage... lots of rage. Freaks, Nick? No, your definition of 'freaks' is wrong. A freak is the thing that I became when Apocalypse was finished with me."
"Before meeting Apocalypse, I used to think of myself as an angel of hope. I would use my flying ability to help everyone in need and bringing them hope. An angel of death was what Apocalypse called me when he gave me the metal wings and the shadowed skin. A creature suited only to slay and destroy. And I did! I did slay and destroyed. I nearly killed my friends... Scott, Jean, Bobby and Hank. I was part of the cause of the destruction of New York when Apocalypse's ship appeared over it. I was responsible for causing the ship to go out of control. I was responsible for every death that resulted in New York at the time, including Howie's friend."
"Years later, by some miracles, I gained my wings back, Nick. I see it as a second chance to repent for my sins. And I still am. The blue skin stays as a constant reminder of my dark past, but my wings now remains as a constant reminder of a new hope. Life goes on, Nick, whether you're a mutant or not."
"You're lucky Nick. You don't have to hide anything like I have to. You may be a mutant but you can still mingle with the rest of the people out there and be yourself. I have to hide behind an illusion all the time as long as the world out there hates mutant. But as much as I hate it, life still goes on."
"I did not choose to be mutants. I didn't choose to have these wings. But I am a mutant and I have these wings. No matter how unfair I thought life is to make me be like this, life still goes on, and we have to live with it. Don't consider your power as a curse, Nick. Consider is as a gift. However you think of it, life goes on and you are what you are. You must accept it and move on."
By the time Warren finished speaking, tears are flowing freely down his cheek. Dimly, through the blur of his tear-filled eyes, he could see the tears trailing out of Nick's eyes too, as he stared and listen to him in silence. In silence they remain, holding and gazing at each other, both not knowing what else to say.
"Does it hurt?" Nick asked in a small voice.
"What hurt?" Warren asked in return, his voice shook with emotion.
Nick reaches back to touch one of the wings, gently caressing the feathers.
"When they destroyed your wings?" Nick whispered. Deep inside, he couldn't imagine what type of cruelty could possess anyone to harm such beauteous creature like Warren. Before this, he thought the illusion Warren hides behind is beautiful. But now, with the illusion gone, with his wings rising majestically behind him, white and pure, it makes the man even more beautiful - so beautiful that Nick's eyes watered every time he gaze upon it. He couldn't imagine anyone could find it in their heart to damage such beauty. He has blue skin, but that doesn't affect Warren's beauty at all. In fact, it makes him more beautiful in Nick's eyes, almost exotic.
The pain in Warren's eyes flared even brighter upon remembering such time.
"It was... agony." Warren replied in a trembling voice. "It was... was..."
The rest of his words were lost in pained sobs as his emotion overwhelms him. Try he could, he will never be able to run away from the memories. Nights after nights, he would sometimes woke up screaming as the memories twisted to become nightmares. His past will continues to haunt him. There shall be no peace. Only pain and terror.
Nick could only watch in pain as he held the sobbing man quietly. Guilt filled his conscience for triggering such painful memory and he should have known better. Ashamed, he gently wrapped his hands around Warren and rocked him gently. A moment of time stretches on as the two souls held each other, one, a fallen angel with a dark past and a shattered soul, the other, an innocent youth with a shattered life and an uncertain future.
"I'm sorry." Nick whispered at last when the sobs receded.
Warren could only watched him in silence as Nick gently wipe away the tears from Warren's cheek.
"I... I didn't mean to bring back the memories... the pain..." Nick stammered. "I... I didn't know. I..."
"I... I also didn't mean to..." Nick struggled on. "I didn't consider you as a freak, Warren... nor does mutants in general..."
"And I... I'm sorry for... for what happened to you in the past..." he continued. "I'm just... scared. I don't want people to hate me. I don't want to lose my family and friends."
"Everybody is scared when facing something they don't understand for the first time." Warren replied, "I was scared too the first time my wings sprout from my back. But you have to face it and overcome it."
"When your... when your mutation... manifest itself... how was your... your parent's reaction?" Nick asked hesitantly.
Warren looked at him sadly for a time before answering.
"My mother died when I was a little kid," He answered softly. "I barely knew her except through the family videos and photos. My father raised me as best he can. When my wings sprout out... dad was... dad freaked out at first. But it takes some time before he accepted it fully."
Nick only listened in silence.
"What... what must I do?" Nick asked nervously.
"You need to learn to control you power, Nick. If you don't, it will control you and you will end up hurting everyone around you, your friends or even your family. You don't want that to happen, wouldn't you?"
"No!" Nick cried out in panic. "No, please God, no!"
Warren wrapped his arm around Nick again to calm him down.
"What must I do?" Nick whispered fearfully.
"Jean's knowledge in empathy is limited. She cannot help you much. But Professor Xavier, back at Westchester has some experience in dealing with empaths. He's a telepath too. Remember the school I told you about where I taught? It's called Xavier's School for Gifted Youngster? Professor Xavier is the friend I told you about. The school is actually a refuge for mutants, Nick. Xavier's been teaching them on how to control their abilities. He was the one who helped me improve my flying skills and he was also the one who helped Hank and Jean with their abilities too. He can teach you how to control your empathic ability."
Again, silence stretched.
"Howie will hate me... and maybe Brian and Kevin too." Nick whispered again. "AJ will have no problem with it. I don't know about my family, but I pray to God they will not hate me. I doubt Howie will let me stay within the group. He will hate you even more once he finds out you're partially responsible for Jessica's death, if not totally responsible. Oh God! Everything is a mess."
"Do you have to tell them now?" asked Warren.
Nick thought for a moment before shaking his head quietly.
"Follow me back to Westchester first, and learn to control your abilities." Said Warren. "Gather your strength and thoughts together. Think of what you're going to say. Then when you're ready, you can tell them. And I promise you; I will be at your side when that time comes. We'll do it together."
Nick looked up at him and for the first time, Warren saw a glimmer of hope in Nick's eyes.
"You promise?" Nick asked in a small voice. "I... I don't think I can do it alone."
"Cross my heart." Warren gave him a small smile. "I will reveal to them about myself too."
At last, Nick gave Warren a small smile in return before nodding.
"I'll follow you to Westchester."
Outside, in the sitting room, Jean sat on the couch watching the world outside as she sipped her cup of coffee. Hank sat on the other side of the room, reading his book. Taking another sip, she closed her eyes and sighed.
As strong as her mental shield can be, Jean doubt that even the strongest telepath could shut out the strong emotional river of thoughts that seems to be pouring out from Warren and Nick in the bedroom. Both Warren and Nick are too upset to control their thoughts from radiating out into the surroundings. Whether she wanted to or not, she could do nothing but listen to the conversation that is going on in the room.
It is obvious that Warren is still being tormented by the Apocalypse incident. Jean wished she could do something to help him, but unfortunately, it is up to Warren to deal with this demon. Jean was more than aware that Warren has had nightmares about it, and she did her best to soothe him telepathically when the nightmares arise. But she could only do so much. The pain and bitterness are still too intense for her to deal with and the memories of the whole experience and ordeals he had to go through are still too strong. Jean knew that Betsy, being a telepath, was well aware of this too and Jean had hoped that if Betsy truly loved Warren, the woman would help him. Instead of helping him, the woman simply left him. Even now, Jean still hadn't forgiven her. Betsy admired strength and Warren's weakness had simply disgusted her.
But now, hope flared within Jean's heart and slowly, she smiled. It is too obvious to any telepath that Nick is in love with Warren, though he simply wouldn't admit it to himself. Men! Love can slap them in their face and run them down with a truck and they will still get up again, looking all 'cool' and continue looking for it in the distance. Stubborn. That's what they all are.
She saw it herself when she mentally scanned Nick's thought. She saw it again as she listened to the conversation between the two. Nick could help Warren in battling these demons of the past - these memories. Together, they could support each other.
The problem is Nick is too scared to admit his feelings to himself, much less to Warren and Warren is too dense to see it. In any case, both of them have been leading a straight life too long to even think of the possibility that they are attracted to each other... though Nick seems to have been having several thoughts about it, but as she said before, Men!
Warren however, is made of sterner stuff. All 100% muscles and raging ocean of testosterone and pure Y-chromosome in every aspect of the word. An ex-playboy who used to sleep with different women of every type and race, excluding animals and aliens, each night years ago before the whole Apocalypse incident occurs. Hell! He even won the title Mr. Super-Heterosexual from Bobby because of it! It'd involve a good bit of work to convince him otherwise. Hmm... oh well, she might need to have a little chat with Warren about it soon... if things turn out well and when the time is right. She nodded slightly to herself. Warren needs someone to care for him and Nick seems the right sort of person for Warren.
The door opened and Jean looked up and smiled as Warren and Nick walked out. Warren smiled at Hank and her, and Jean smiled back.
"So, Nick, are you feeling any better? Have you decided to come to Westchester?" said Hank.
Nick gave them a small shy smile and nodded. Jean beamed and gave him a hug.
"I'm sure Scott, the professor and the rest will be thrilled to have you there." She said.
"We'll leave tomorrow morning, right after seeing AJ and Howie off." Said Warren.
"Well, I'm afraid Jean and I will be leaving tonight." Hank said apologetically. "I was in the middle of my research when Warren called for me and I'm anxious to get back to it."
"And I need to be with Scott and make up for our ruined anniversary date." Jean smiled at Warren.
"The beach or the yacht, Jean. Your decision." Warren smiled back.
"We'll let you know." Jean replied. "But before returning back to Westchester, I will explain to you a little bit about your abilities, Nick. And I will also teach you what little I know about empathy. It is not much, mind you. But I know some of the basics, and it'll be enough for you to gain a little bit of control over it - enough to prevent you from passing out should the emotional overload occurs again. When you are at Westchester, the professor will teach you everything else to the last details... that is if you want."
The loud voices at the front door alerted everyone that the others have returned. Warren quickly reached out and switches the image inducers back on at the same time as the front door open and Jubilee, AJ and Howie, all soaked to the bone, burst in, laughing all the way.