Hi all!! Here's the next part of Dreams of an Angel. Hope you all enjoy it! Any comments or suggestions, well, you know how to contact me. My Yahoo ID is Goldenknightuk if you wish to send me an instant message. Sorry for any bad grammars boys and girl. C'mon! Nobody's perfect!! :)
NOTE TO ALL READERS: In order to balance my study time and writings, I decided to set a specific time for every update. For now on, I'll be updating Dreams of an Angel every Tuesday & Friday evening (Well, Irish time. I dunno about the time differences between my place and yours, guys and gals. You have to figure that out yourself :P Trust me, I sucked in figuring it out :)). But hey, if time permits me, I promise I'll update it at other times :)
Before the show, onwards to the boring part! Legal matters! Hehehe. You can press 'fast-forward' now.
Well, first of all, this story, as you will certainly find out soon, is TOTALLY fictional. So! If any of you truly believe in it... dude, I'm worried about you. Secondly! None of the guys in the Backstreet Boys are gay! (No matter how hard I wished it :P). But nobody say we couldn't dream it, heh heh. Thirdly, Warren Worthington is actually a character from Marvel Comics, X-men known as Angel or recently Archangel. Okay fine, I admit it. I'm bored and I am making a pathetic attempt to make life a lil' bit interesting. Its not like I'm gonna publish it or something. What else to talk about hmm? Oh, there may be some adult gay scenes in this story. Unlike my brother, I don't mind writing naughty stuff ;) so! If you're underage, naughty, naughty! I can only ask you to go away, but I cannot do anything else to stop you from reading on anyway. Hell! I've been sneaking into the internet to watch gay porns since I was 13! So, if your parents or whoever responsible for you catch you, don't say I didn't warned you. However, if you're homophobic... well maybe I can seduce you enough to turn you around heh heh. I do so love a challenge ;)
Anyway, enough talk. Any comments or boos or suggestion or whatever, just sent it to the same address as in NNTs, goldenknightuk@yahoo.co.uk . Yeah, we shared the same address. Don't ask. Long story.
Okay then! On to the show. Now, don't be shy now. If you got any comments or suggestions, just drop me a note. You do the request, and I'll do the show.
Andy
Part 36: 'Painful Memories'
"Uuunnnhhhhh... wha's goin' on... Warren...?"
"Shhh... it's okay baby. Go back to sleep." Warren hushed soothingly as he held Nick tighter against his chest.
Nick stirred slightly against him before falling to sleep once again. Outside, the engines of Warren's private plane drone on steadily. It has been almost an hour since they took off and so far, their journey has been uneventful. Lance spent most of his time at the back of the plane in the small office area where he decided to take the time to sort out his works. Warren and Nick however, decided to doze off for a while near the front. It's not easy to lean against the seat for a man with wings, but it can be done, with some maneuvering, effort, patience... and probably a little bit of compromise. Nick originally sat next to him, but somewhere along the line, he found his head and upper body resting against Warren's chest, held tightly by his lover's arm.
"Side... hurt..." Nick murmurs faintly in his sleep.
"Don't move too much, Nick." Warren murmured back as he peers at the injured side and lifts the shirt to assess the bandage. Moving as deftly as he could, he peels off the bandage and examines the stitches, carefully assessing if it is all right.
Hank certainly knows his stuff well. The wound is healing steadily. It'll take time for it to become barely noticeable, but for the time being, Nick certainly has to avoid doing photoshoots with his shirt off.
Stroking the hair gently, he used his other hand to cover the wound again with the bandage and pull the shirt down over it. Kissing the hairs lovingly, he held him tighter, reaching out through the link to feel his lover's mind.
Calmness dominates Nick's mind. There's a hint of soreness here and there, no doubt coming from the wound. His emotions shifted again and again, depending on what dreams he is experiencing right now, but so far, calmness is the main dominating emotion.
Warren left the link open, fully enjoying the calmness in his lover's mind. How long has it been since he experienced such calmness in his life? He couldn't find an answer to such question. Even when he was a kid, surrounded by everything a kid could ever wanted and more, he still felt lonely, wishing for his long-dead mother and his ever-busy father to be there with him. The only people that ever come close to be a proper parent were Giles, his butler, and Emma, his maid, who spent more time with him compared to his own father, and tried as hard as they could to give him the love and affection his own parents couldn't find the time to give.
But he never blamed his father for not having any time to spend with him. He did, once, long ago, but after taking over his father's place at the head of the Worthington Empire, he began to understand why. His father has the whole of the Worthington Empire to manage. He tried. Tried his very best to do his duty as a father. But after being surrounded by various backstabbers and enemies intent on pulling him down and destroying him... sometimes... sometimes life demands a sacrifice.
Nick stirs again, and Warren grunt as he felt the scattered soreness from the wound flares into pain through the link. Nick winced a little and Warren held him tighter to lessen his movement.
"Shhh... don't move too much, honey." Warren murmured softly as he closed his eyes and concentrate hard. Jean has taught him a thing or two about what he could do with the link before he left. Focusing hard, he forced the link to absorb the pain, taking it away from Nick's mind and transmitting it into his own. He winced, feeling as if it was he who had the wound instead of Nick.
"Sleep and dream, baby." Warren whispers softly, his face hardening slightly as the result of the pain. "Let me deal with the pain."
In his arms, Nick slept on, breathing away peacefully now that the pain was taken away. Warren smiled at the small smile that suddenly appears on his lover's lips as he dreams away happily.
"Sleeping like a baby."
Warren looks up and smiles as Lance peers down on them both from behind them.
"That's my Nick." He answered softly as he continues stroking Nick's hair.
Lance smiled and moves to the seat beside him, carrying two glasses with him.
"I helped myself to some drinks. I hope you don't mind." Said Lance. "Champaign?"
"Thanks." Said Warren as he accepted one of the glasses. "No, I don't mind. Make yourself at home."
"Cheers."
They clinked their glasses together before taking a sip.
"So tell me a li'l bit about the life of the richest and most eligible bachelor in the country, if not the world." Said Lance as he gazed at the winged mutant before him.
Green eyes met the amused blues and silence stretch for several second.
"So you noticed, huh?" Warren chuckled.
"Well, for someone who took a li'l bit of interest in the business news, yeah." Said Lance as he stretches his legs. "But it still took some time for me to notice. After all, one does not expect to find a multi-billionaire hanging out in a gay club."
"Hey, it was a mixed gay-friendly club, not gay club... well... as far as I was told anyway." Warren laughed.
"Mixed gay-friendly club, gay club... what's the difference." Lance grinned. "The press'd have a field day if they found out about you. Warren Worthington the Third, one of the richest man in the country, sole owner of the Worthington Empire, womanizer, playboy, currently in a deep gay relationship with Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys... and oh yeah, don't forget the wings and blue skin."
"Now look who's talkin'," Warren smiled back at him lazily. "This comes from Mr. Lance Bass of 'Nsync whom I saw kissing my mutant best friend, Bobby Drake. What's the deal between you and him anyway? You two've been hanging out together closer than I ever was when Bobby and I first arrived at the mansion. Is there's something going on between you and my bestfriend that I don't know about?"
Warren laughed softly when Lance blushed slightly.
"I see." Warren nodded knowingly as he grin.
"Hey, hey, hey, no we're not together." Lance protested hastily. "We were just hanging out. Nothing happen."
"But you'd like to get together with him." Warren replied shrewdly. "I know that look."
Lance smiled sadly.
"It's probably the 'rebound' part of me who wanted that." Said Lance at last. "He deserve someone better. Not someone from the 'reject pile'."
"Now you know that's bullshit right?" said Warren. "Everyone deserves a second chance, even you. Don't think of yourself so low like that. Look at me for instant. My ex-girlfriend Betsy left me for the dead too, but then I found Nick. And it turns out that my feeling for him is far more greater than Betsy or anyone else I had relationship with in the past. Is it coincident? Is it fate?"
"Nick gave me a brief gist about what happened to you, Lance and I'm sorry to hear that." Warren continues on. "But you got to move on and stop dwelling on these 'rebound' and 'reject pile' nonsense. If it meant to happen, then it meant to happen and that's the end to it."
"Bobby likes you Lance." Warren smirked at last. "Yeah, I know him too well to notice that. The problem is... he's still too hung up about Scott to notice anything else... or to accept anything else. Go up to him and tell him what you feel. Maybe that'll be like splashing cold water into his face to wake him up and coax him to start noticing things around him more rather than letting him mooning on and on over a hopeless cause. Trust me, Scott will never be able to give him what he wants."
Lance smiled sadly.
"That's the real problem why I don't want to tell him, Warren." Said Lance. "We talked a lot about our problems while we hang out together and... whew... man, you should have seen his face when he starts talking about Scott. His eyes were like... glowing... with love and admiration... and his face, his smile... sigh... I've never seen anyone being that much in love before. He looks like a kid who has just seen his fantasy hero comes to life. And the way he smiled and danced happily when he told me about how Scott kissed him just now..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Hold on a minute there, stallion!" Warren's eyes widen in surprise. "Scott kissed him? Scott bloody Summers? Husband to Jean? Brother to Alex? Leader of the X-men? Xavier's pet?"
"How many Scott do you know?" Lance laughed. "Yeah, he kissed Bobby this afternoon. Mouth to mouth, lips to lips, tongue to tongue. I almost didn't believe it myself when Bobby told me about it but looking at how his eyes glow like someone who has just seen the true face of God, I have to believe him."
Warren was gaping at him stupidly as he listened. When he finally became aware of it, he snapped his mouth shut so fast, Lance could actually hear his teeth clicked together.
"Hot dang... I think the world is about to end." Warren murmured at last.
"Yeah... but it was just a kiss. Nothing further than that. But you see why I prefer not to tell him what I feel?" said Lance as he leaned against his seat. "The way he has Scott in his heart, there is no space left for anyone else in it. I will never be able to take Scott's place in his heart. The love I have to offer is a trickle compare to what he has for Scott. I won't stand a chance."
"Of course you won't stand a chance." Warren said quietly. "That's why it's foolish to try to take Scott's place in his heart. That will remain in there forever. But you're wrong. There is always a space for someone else in his heart... in anyone's heart. Scott will never be able to return his love, Lance. But you can. He will love Scott forever, but he can love you too... and the special thing about you is, you love him back."
"Just talk to him, Lance. Let him know what you feel." Said Warren again before grinning. "And if you want me to come over to knock some sense into him, gimme a call, and I'll be there in a jiffy. It's past time for his yearly dose of sense-knocking anyway. It's not that hard to do actually. Just grab his hair firmly and bounce his head hard a couple of times on a table."
They both laughed softly for a moment before falling silent. Lance watched in amused silence as Warren continues to stroke Nick's hair while holding him tightly against his chest.
"You think he is ready to tell his family and the rest of the guys that he's a mutant? And the fact that he and you are together?" Lance spoke again.
Warren watched Nick thoughtfully for a moment before answering.
"I don't know, Lance." He answered at last. "His... mind appears... determined. Like that of a warrior unafraid of going into a bloody battlefield. So, he seems ready. Whatever it is, he has made his decision and whatever decision he makes, my place is beside him, no matter what's the odds or outcome."
Lance whistled softly in awe.
"That's really deep, Warren. You really do love him." He spoke at last, this time with a small hint of envy in his heart. Why can't he get someone like this in his life? Nick is really lucky to have Warren. "What do you mean his mind appears determined? Can you read mind too?"
Warren looked up at him then, startled.
"You didn't know about the link?"
"What link?" asked the mystified Lance.
"Oh, I guess no one told you." Said Warren as he resumes the gentle stroking. "Back in LA when I first met Nick, well, as I told you, Nick had some problems and it was then, with Jean, Hank and my help, Nick realized he is an empath. At the same time, I had problems of my own too... nightmares and stuff. On the first night after Nick learned about his empathic ability, I had a bad nightmare and Nick helped me with it by siphoning off the fear and terror away... but... not knowing what he was doing at the time, he accidentally forged an empathic link between both of our minds. The link cannot be broken. So our mind remained link forever. I can feel everything that goes on in his mind, his pain, happiness, love, anger... everything, and he can feel everything that goes on in my mind as well."
"Cool." Lance smiled. "It's like... sharing a soul or something. How does it feel to have someone else emotions floating around in your mind?"
Warren smiled thoughtfully.
"Kinda strange at first." Said Warren at last. "Once, I suddenly felt a terrible urge to jump up and shout happily in the middle of a serious battle simulation and that was because Nick was winning a Nintendo game with Bobby in the living room. Another instant, Nick got pissed off when Kurt simply wouldn't quit pestering him, and at the same time I actually had an urge to punch someone's face while exercising in the gym. But I got used to it all after a while."
"It was very useful while we're fooling around in bed though." Warren grinned as Lance's face began to twist as he blanched.
"Ooooookaaaaay!!! No need to get into the details." Lance laughed at last. He fell silent after a while, watching the other two quietly. "You must feel each other's love all the time."
"All the time, yeah." Warren smiled fondly. "And it is a pleasant feeling, believe me. It's really nice to know that someone love you deeply wherever you go. In my other relationship, I've always wondered whether or not the girl I'm going out with truly loves me or not... but with Nick... there is no doubt about it at all. It's there, right in my mind, wherever I go."
"The benefit of dating an empath I suppose." Said Lance.
"Yeah. Very true." Warren answered.
Again, silence stretches for several minutes.
"I saw some of the old team photos in Bobby's room." Lance spoke again. "You were in it. But in that photo, you didn't have blue skin. How did you get it?"
He watched curiously when Warren's eyes suddenly grew sad.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean..." Lance began hesitantly but Warren waved his hand slightly.
"It's okay, Lance. You didn't know. It's... a long and bitter story..." Warren said in a soft voice.
He continues to stroke Nick's hair gently. Moments stretch on, and Lance glance at his saddened face again and again, hoping he didn't make the moment worst.
"I was violated." Warren spoke at last, in a quiet voice, his eyes staring unseeingly at the cabin before him. "My very soul was violated."
"Huh?" Lance turned to him curiously.
He grew nervous when the expressionless eyes turn to look at him.
"Do you remember the beast-like man who attacked you and Nick outside the club the other night?" Warren asked softly. "And those other mutants that appeared afterward?"
Lance winced at the memory and nodded.
"The beast-like man is called Sabretooth." Warren continues on softly. "The others are Harpoon, Archlight, Scalphunter, Riptide and Vertigo. There are supposed to be three others, Prism, Scrambler and Blockbuster. They are a group of mutant-killers who called themselves the 'Marauders'."
"Once, there was an incident deep down within the tunnels beneath New York, an incident that amongst mutants, is called the Massacre. The tunnels are originally inhabited by the Morlocks, which consists of hundreds of mutants who were forced to flee underground because of the hatred directed towards them on the surface world. Within these tunnels, they formed their own community, support each other and live in peace without fearing any mutant-haters that would come after them."
"Then the Marauders came into the tunnels and slaughtered them all, everyone of them, women, men, children, the elderly... everyone. Only a handful survived. The rest... dead. We tried to save as many as we can. I was one of the X-Factor then, but the X-men helped too. We fought and we saved. But I got... injured during the struggle. Harpoon, Blockbuster, Sabretooth and Vertigo ambushed me while I was flying alone within the tunnel and in the ensuing fight, Blockbuster crushed my wings and I ended up hanging helplessly on the wall with Harpoon's spear impaling each of my wings. Scott and the others rescued me just in time before they killed me..."
Lance watched wide-eye as Warren's word faded.
"What happened then?" he asked.
"They took me to the hospital, but the doctors had no idea how to treat my wings. At the same time, another plot was working against me. Hodge, my supposedly trusted friend, turns out to be the leader of 'The Right'."
" 'The Right'!" Lance exclaimed. "I know that name. I heard Howie joined that group."
Warren nodded quietly.
"The same. Hodge tricked me into leaving all my money to him, right before he gave the permission to have my wings amputated. Before I knew it, my wings are gone."
"Oh my God!" Lance gasped as he watched as a single tear slipped out from Warren's eyes.
"When that happened, I... I simply lost my will to live. Without my wings, I am nothing. So I sneaked out from the hospital, took one of my plane and blew it up in mid-air... but something else happened." Warren continues on. "A powerful mutant called Apocalypse abducted me at the very last moment before the plane exploded."
"In his captivity, he offered to restore my wings. He also offered me a chance for revenge on those who took my wings away by offering me 'power beyond my imagination'. Blinded by my desire for revenge, I accepted his offer."
Warren lifted his hands to stare at the blue skin.
"I realized my mistake at the very last minute, but it was too late... Apocalypse twisted my soul just as he did my body. He gave me this blue skin and as if to mock me, he gave me wings made of metal instead of feathers. As for my soul, he filled it with rage and death. So I became Death, his Fourth Horseman."
"I can still remember his words when I stood before him as Death: 'You are a mirror to the pain and tragedy of all mutants. I gave you such ferocity, buried it deep inside your soul and it shall burn and rage constantly at all time, crying to lash out. You are a complex combination of many conflicting desires - each in constant combat with the other. Your body says 'slay', yet your soul says 'save'. Your mind says 'help', yet your heart says 'destroy'. You represent the inherent mutant state of confusion. You lash out in anger at your oppressors, only to feel the pangs of guilt after the harm has been done, and from there you shall lashes out again to alleviate the guilt, only to cause more harm and destruction. You are Death, my greatest creation, the most powerful of my four horsemen, and so you shall rain death everywhere you go...'"
"The New York incident..." Lance spoke suddenly. "I remember reading about it and watched it on the news. There was one clip when they showed a metal winged figure flying high in the sky... that was... that was you?"
Warren nodded quietly and sadly.
"Yes... or rather... the creature that I became after Apocalypse changed me..."
They remained quiet for a while.
"How did you recover then?" asked Lance again. "How did you gain your feathery wings back?"
Warren looked at him expressionlessly for a moment before continuing on.
"Scott, and the rest of the remaining X-Factor attacked Apocalypse on his ship. In retaliation, Apocalypse unleashed me on them. I fought my own friends... I almost killed them... until Bobby tricked me into making me think I killed him. He created an ice figure of himself and hides. I sliced the ice figure without mercy and it was the sudden realization that I killed my own best friend that snapped me out of everything... We fought Apocalypse together after that... and he fled. But the damage was done... and I was changed forever."
"I can't remember how I regained my feathery wings." Warren continues on thoughtfully. "All I remember was fighting Sabretooth and got injured in the process. He shattered part of one of my metal wings. I was unconscious... delirious really... but something did happen... in the dim shadow, I seem to remember someone standing before me... and before I knew it, I felt a burning pain on my back... and the metal wings shattered, only to give rise to these feathery wings. Even now, I wondered who it was that made it happen..."
Warren looks up at Lance again before speaking softly.
"So that's the story of my life. That's how I gained this blue skin. That's how I got my soul twisted and shattered forever. Shards of it still cling to me. I am not the same man I once was before Apocalypse changed me, Lance. Even now, I can feel... I can feel the rage... the constant frenzy... the beast within me that kept crying out for death and destruction... all of which slithers within my soul. I fought it constantly, keeping it tightly locked up. The memories of it remains, sometime twisted and emerged in the form of nightmares... It will never end. It will always remain as part of me. Somehow... somehow, I know that one day, I will lose control of it once again... and when that happen, I hope I will be as far away from everyone as possible."
"No."
Warren looked down to see Nick's blue eyes staring back at him, filled with unshed tears. Caught up in his bitter memories, he never realized the shift in Nick's emotions as he woke up and listen to his story in silence.
"Not while I'm here to keep it away." Nick spoke softly. "Not while I'm here to help you fight it. I will not lose you Warren. Not now, not ever."
"Baby." Warren smiled hesitantly as Nick slowly sat up. "You're awake."
He winces when the pain from Nick's wound flared up for a second or two when Nick unconsciously stretched himself. Catching the wince from Warren's face, Nick froze.
"Warren... what did you do?" Nick frowned suddenly as he touches the bandage.
"Nothing, baby. Just relax and let me handle it." Warren smiled as he firmly pulls Nick's hand away from the bandage.
"Huh?" Nick murmur as he frowned thoughtfully... before his eyes widen in horror. "Warren, are you crazy??!! What do you think you're doing??! Give it back!!"
"Wha... Nick? What's going on?" Lance looked at him in surprise.
"It's okay, baby. I can handle it, don't worry." Warren spoke in a soothing voice.
"No, it's not okay! You think I'm gonna laze around comfortably while you suffer my pain??" Nick spoke angrily. "No way! I cannot let you do this! I can handle it! Don't do this, Warren. Give it back!"
Lance watched in fascination as Warren shook his head vigorously.
"It was interfering with your sleep, baby. You need to rest. I just thought I could give you a break from it. I don't want to see you suffer." Said Warren.
"You mean you use the link to take away the pain... and all this time when we were talking you were... in pain?" said Lance.
"Warren... as much as that's the sweetest gesture anyone could ever do to me, I'm sorry, I cannot let you do this!" said Nick. "Okay, okay I have a solution. Give it back and I'll take some painkillers to numb it. Deal?"
Warren looked at him quietly for a moment before nodding.
"Lance, get the medicine box, will you?" said Warren.
Lance got up and walks to the back to get the medicine box and Nick glance at Warren again. He winces slightly when the throbbing soreness returned back into his mind.
"Warren... I know you mean well and I know you did that because you care for me but... please, don't do that again without telling me. I don't want to lay around comfortably at your expense." Said Nick at last. "We're in this together. We'll do things together, we'll solve our problems together, okay?"
"I just don't want to see you..." Warren mumbled but Nick stopped him quickly.
"I know, baby. You don't want to see me suffer but I don't want to see you suffer too." Said Nick. "Just... just let me know if you're planning to pull that off again, will you?"
Warren looks up into Nick's eyes when he felt the surge of love flowing through the link into his mind.
"I will." He smiled at last before Nick leans forward and kiss his lips lightly.
"Thanks for being so caring, by the way." Nick whispers in his ears before wincing in pain. "Fuck! Lance, where's the pain-killers??"
"Coming!!" Lance's voice floated from the back before the thumping of his feet herald his arrival. "Two tablets of painkillers and a glass of water for your culinary delights."
"Very funny, Lancey." Nick said grumpily as he snatches the tablets and glasses and gulped it down. "It's not working!!!"
"It takes time, you dork." Said Lance as he laughs softly. "What do you think that is? Magical beans?"
"Guys, guys, guys, get a grip of yourself." Warren smiled. "Why don't you two go and get some sleep? I'll think I'll go to the back and do some work."
"No." Nick mumbled as he tightens his grip on Warren. "Hold me."
Lance laughed softly and Warren raised his eyebrows in silent amusement as Nick curls up against him.
"Damn, he got it baaad." Lance spoke at last.
"About as bad as you got it for Bobby, Lancey?" Nick voice rose up from against Warren's chest.
This time it is Warren who laughed.
"My God, does everyone know about this?" Lance groaned.
"Well... not everyone... I'm sure Bobby doesn't know about it." Nick smiled as he inhaled Warren's scent deeply.
"Of course, he doesn't." Said Warren. "When he see someone, he sees Scott."
"Ah yeah... the joys of love." Said Nick.
"Think Lance can set him straight? You know, pull him out of the pit?" Warren smiled as Nick purred slightly against his gentle strokes.
"I should say so. If he can gather enough of his courage to let Bobby know about his feelings." Nick replied.
"Ahem, earth to lovebirds, Lance is sitting right here, you know." Lance called out from where he sat.
Nick and Warren turned to look at him lazily.
"Oh, hello Lance!" Nick grinned as Warren laughed softly.
They fell quiet after a while.
"Why don't you get some sleep, Lance." Said Warren at last. "I'll wake you up before we land."
"And no one's gonna knock on your window this time. So stop worrying too much about the Boogeyman coming to get you." Nick grinned again.
"You still own me an apology dinner, lovebirds." Lance said sleepily as he settles himself in his chair. " 'N' I ain't gonna let that go."
"You'll get it, Lance." Said Warren.
"And you'll get you li'l Iceman too." Nick smiled.
But by that time, Lance was already breathing steadily in his sleep.
Next Friday, Part 37: 'To Be Loved By An Angel'