The following fictional narrative involves sexually-explicit erotic events between men. If you shouldn't be reading this, don't.
In the world of this story, the characters don't always use condoms. In the real world, you should care enough about yourself and others to always practice safe sex.
The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent.
Thanks as always to Tom W., who edits all this stuff for me, and to Evan, Patrick, Ash, and Mickey.
timmead88@yahoo.com
Chapter 43: Guilt
RICK:
When Professor Fairchild called and offered me the assistant professorship, I was elated. I had liked most of the people I'd met there, except for Carter Frost, who was a nasty old troll. I'd especially enjoyed my time with Tim Mead and his partner, Cedric Jones. The climate there wasn't much different from the climate in Chicago, where I'd grown up, and I was used to Northern Ohio winters from my four years at Cranmer. The university was only about an hour from Cleveland, where I could get my fix of theater, music, and art. The campus was very pretty, even in the dregs of winter. So, all in all, it seemed like a good choice.
I tried not to sound too excited when I told her I'd be happy to take the position. She seemed pleased and told me I'd be receiving a contract by express mail.
A couple of days later as I signed the contract and put it into the prepaid return mailer, I sighed, clasped my hands behind my head, and leaned back in my chair. From Dad's condo, we had a great view of Lake Michigan. It was gray and cold looking, but I loved it any time of the year.
I began to think about the future. Richard Modarelli, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of English! Sounded pretty good. I wasn't sure whether the world really needed another English prof. Then I thought of Doug. I had been responsible for the best professor I'd ever known leaving the profession. I didn't suppose I'd ever be as good as Doug, but I sure as hell was going to try. Maybe I'd never be able to make amends to him for the wrong I had done him, but I had decided that I was going to try to be as much like him as I could, the best teacher I was capable of being.
Does that sound adolescent? Perhaps almost simple-minded? Well, so be it. That was my resolve. In my mid-twenties, I realized I was acting like a hopeless romantic, and I was old enough to know better. But I was going to dedicate my career to Doug. I felt, even though he would never know about it, that it was a meaningful gesture. Not just a gesture, though. It affected my future significantly. But I hadn't been able to find out what had happened to my mentor, my lover. And I would never be able to make adequate restitution to him for what I had done, even assuming I could find him.
So, in that spring of 2003 I looked forward to taking up my duties as a fledgling professor, to making a new start, to finding new friends. I planned to be a good teacher. I hoped to find a guy to share my life with.
My reverie was interrupted with a thought. I was at loose ends until I started teaching in the fall. Why should I hang around Chicago? Why not find myself a place and move to the university? Perhaps I could develop a friendship with Tim, maybe meet more people, get plugged in to the community I was about to join. Dad and I were gpomg to spend some time together at our place in West Virginia, but after that there was no reason why I couldn't move to campus, get settled in, perhaps make some friends.
I decided to get in touch with Tim Mead and ask him for suggestions about where to look for housing. Maybe I'd be invited to stay with him and Cedric when I went apartment-hunting. The evening I was with them I saw between them exactly what I want so much, a kind of loving commitment. You just knew how much they loved each other. They obviously belonged together. God, I needed that!
TREY:
It was a strange evening. Chaz was at an away game. They were playing WVU in Morgantown. I had nuked something for dinner, done some reading, and about 9:00 decided to go over to Noplace and see what was happening. There was nearly a foot of snow on the ground, but the streets were plowed. It was a clear night and colder than a witch's tit. I took the Lexus. A Richmond boy isn't about to walk a mile in that kind of weather.
I had learned from experience that the wine at Noplace was bad, so I got a frosty mug of draft plus a package of pork rinds (yeah, yeah, I'm from Virginia, after all) and looked around for a place to sit. It was fairly crowded, and all the booths were taken. Then I saw Hook waving for me to come over.
"Hook" was properly Ethan van Hoek, but everyone just called him Hook. He was a soph. I knew him because he had gone out for the tennis team last spring. He played some games on the freshman team, and he showed some promise. I had also bumped into him at meetings of the SGA. I got the impression that he came early to those meetings and stayed late. I think he helped set up beforehand and clean up afterward.
Anyway, I took my beer and rinds over to his booth.
"Trey, it's good to see you, man. Take a load off!"
Now I should tell you that Hook was adorable. He was about my height, 5'10, and he was about my weight. He obviously worked out some, and he had a nice body. I think his waist must have been an inch or two smaller than mine. I had always admired his cute little ass. It was almost as narrow as Tim's, though he was a good three inches taller than Tim. He had light brown hair, which he wore fairly long on top, parted in the middle, and closer on the sides and back. His eyes were brown, too. Seems to me he was from Chagrin Falls or Gates Mills, one of those fashionable upscale communities east of Cleveland.
"Where's your friend Greeley? Seems to me you two are always together."
"Chaz has an away game tonight. They've got this winning streak on the line, and the game isn't on local tv, so I thought I'd get out and get a beer. I think they can handle the Mountaineers, but I didn't want to sit around the apartment wondering. So, how are things with you?"
"I'm okay, I guess. Can't wait for tennis season."
We talked about tennis for a while and the prospects of our team that spring. As we chatted, I was watching four hot women who were sitting in a booth across the way from us. They were obviously good friends, relaxed, enjoying themselves. They were all good looking, but one, a redhead with green eyes, very Irish, had a kind of attraction I could feel across the room. My cock began to get hard, and I'm afraid I more or less tuned Hook out.
"Trey! Come back, Trey!"
"Oh, what? I'm sorry, Hook. My mind wandered for a minute."
He grinned. "Yeah, over to those chicks. I thought you were gay, man. Aren't you and Greeley a couple?"
Well, we'd never "come out," but apparently we weren't fooling anyone. "Yeah, Hook, we don't broadcast it, and I hope you'll keep it to yourself, but Chaz and I are partners."
"Cool. So what's with the women? You were really watching that redhead like you were interested in her sexually."
I smiled at him. "For a moment, I was. I'm bi, Hook. I can throw wood when I see either a great looking guy or a great looking woman."
"I've heard about bisexuals, but I thought they were just gay guys who didn't want to admit being totally gay."
"Well, in a way, I'm totally gay. I've had sex with lots of women and with a couple of guys, and I have to say both are great. I'm committed to Chaz, but that doesn't mean I can't look when a gorgeous person of either sex comes into view."
He grabbed one of my pork rinds, popped it in his mouth, and chewed for a while. (They don't exactly melt in your mouth.) Then he took a big swallow of his beer.
"I hear what you're saying. But I've only been attracted to guys all my life. I remember seeing a movie called `Joseph Andrews' on Showtime when I was twelve or so. The main character got robbed and stripped and thrown beside the road. All you could see was him naked from behind. But I got hard right then, and I've know from that moment that I'm just plain gay."
"So, when did you come out?"
"Not long after that, actually."
"And how were your folks with that?"
"They were cool. Super cool, in fact. They warned me that I'd have to take a lot of crap from some people, but they said they loved me and were proud of me and to let them know if I got into situations where I needed their help."
"It sounds like you've got great parents."
He grinned and finished his beer. "Oh, I do. They're the best!"
He went back to the bar and got us each another mug of beer.
The females across the way climbed out of the booth, still obviously enjoying themselves, shrugged into their coats and scarves, and left. I felt a little lonely for a moment. Then I turned my attention back to Hook.
His skin glowed. He didn't look as if he'd ever had acne. His brown hair had little patches of light from the electric sconce on the wall over our booth. His eyes sparkled. He looked about fifteen to me at that moment, full of piss and vinegar. He was a beautiful boy just ready to be fucked. I wondered how much sexual experience he had had, but I didn't think I knew him well enough to ask. Besides, I was a senior member of the tennis team, and he was a sophomore hopeful. I didn't want to do anything to make him think I would take advantage of our positions.
I was thinking what a treat it would be to bed him, were I not in a committed relationship, when my reverie was interrupted.
"Hey, dudes. I didn't know you two knew each other." It was Philip Halifax, a mug in one hand and a pitcher in the other. "Mind if I sit?''
In a flash, Hook had moved over to make room. Philip sat down, put the beer and the mug on the table, and put his arm around Hook.
"How's my helper this evening?"
Hook glowed. "I'm great, dude. How about yourself?"
"Got my column written for next week, so I can relax a while. It's good to get away from the damned computer screen, ya know?"
Hook looked at him as if he had said something vastly wise. "Yeah, dude, I know what you mean."
Philip squeezed the back of Hook's neck.
Now I understood why Hook was getting to SGA meetings early and staying late. He may have been supporting the group, but, even more, he obviously had a major crush on the group's president.
Philip asked me about Mark and Lori, about Steve, about Max. (So far as I knew, he hadn't met David.) He wanted to know how Cedric and Tim were doing. Then he asked if I had heard from Doug and Stan. I was answering his questions, filling him in on the latest about the brotherhood, when I saw Hook jump. Then he blushed. Philip had his left hand on the handle of his beer mug. His right was at his side, hidden from view under the table. At once I knew that he had his hand in Hook's crotch.
"Who . . . " Hook began in a high, squeaky voice. He cleared his throat. "That is, who are those guys you're talking about?"
"We all went to Florida last fall together to be in a demonstration."
"Oh, yeah," he said, looking at Philip even though I was the one who had spoken. "I remember reading your article about that. Guess I just forgot the names."
Philip gave him a big grin and took a sip of his beer. Suddenly he coughed and almost dropped his mug. Hook was looking at him out of the corner of his eye and grinning. It was easy to infer that Hook had just returned the favor and groped his hero.
Hook was a nice kid, and Philip was, well, he was Philip. But I wasn't about to sit there and watch them feel each other up.
"Hey, guys," I said, pushing my empty mug away. "It's a short flight back here from Morgantown, so I think I'd better go. I want to be there when my warrior gets home. Thanks for the beer, Hook."
"Well, okay, Trey. We understand," Philip said. "Say hi to Chaz for us."
"Yeah, I'll do that. And you say hello to Geoff for me."
PHILIP:
I caught the warning in Withers' parting comment, but I didn't care. This kid was hot for me, and he was beautiful. I was pretty sure that ass of his was virgin, and I was going to take his cherry. He had responded to my squeezing his cock through his jeans by doing the same thing to me. I assumed that was an invitation extended and accepted.
We didn't talk much as we drank our beer, but we continued to grope each other's crotch. I was uncomfortable soon and he was practically panting.
"How'd you like to come back to my place for a while, Hook?"
He swallowed, blushed, and looked at me. "Uh, yeah, Philip, that'd be cool!"
"Then let's go," I said, grabbing my coat. After we had extricated ourselves from the booth and gotten into our coats, scarves, and gloves, we headed outside.
"You have a car here?"
"Yeah. Why don't I follow you?" he said.
Ten minutes later I had pulled into my numbered slot in the parking lot behind my building. Hook stopped his car behind mine, put down the window, and asked, "Where should I park?"
I pointed to one of the guest slots.
On the elevator, he seemed nervous, so I put my arm around him. "Relax, babe. We'll just have another drink and chill a while, OK?"
He gulped. "Cool!"
When we got into the apartment, I took his coat and put it with mine in the coat closet. Then I pulled off my sweater, leaving only my tee.
"It's always too warm in here. Can't adjust those steam radiators very well. Wanna take off your sweater?"
"OK." He took off his sweater. He was wearing a tee with the university logo on it. I thought that was pretty preppy but didn't say anything.
I sat on a hassock and began to unlace my ankle high boots. "May as well get comfortable, dude."
He began to take off his shoes, too.
"Now, Hook. On a cold winter evening, there's nothing better than a cognac. Let me get us some."
"My parents like that late in the evening. I've never tried it."
"Oh, believe me, boy, you'll like the way it feels warm as it slides down your throat." I waggled my eyebrows at him, and he blushed. Again.
I got up and padded into the kitchen, where I poured us each a small snifter of cognac. I didn't want him so drunk he couldn't cooperate.
I pulled the hassock so we could both put our feet on it and sat next to him on the sofa. He swirled the cognac around in the snifter and then took a whiff.
"I've seen my folks do this."
"OK. Now you take a little sip and let it trickle down your throat."
He did what I suggested, very carefully.
"Hey, that's nice!"
I grinned. "See, boy, ya gotta trust me."
We didn't say much as we sat there sipping. After a while, Hook's head sort of lolled over and rested on my shoulder.
I took his glass and mine and set them on the end table.
"Would you like to stay here tonight? I don't think you should drive anywhere."
"I'd better call my roommate. He'd freak if I didn't come back."
"Phone's over there."
He called. I could hear him saying he was spending the night with a friend. "Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you tomorrow." There was a pause while he listened. "OK, Mom," he said, grinning, "I promise to be careful." Then he hung up. "Sheesh."
"Overprotective roomie?"
"Yeah, he's as straight as they come, but he thinks he needs to look after me. Thinks you are probably going to have your wicked way with me and then cast me aside."
"What makes you think that isn't what's going to happen?"
He put his hand under my `nads, hefted their weight, and gave me a cheeky grin. "What makes you think I haven't been wanting this to happen for weeks?"
"Wow! You're a cheeky bastard." I took his hand and led him to the bedroom. "Since you're staying the night, you can use the bathroom first. I don't have a spare toothbrush, but there's some mouthwash in the medicine cabinet. And paper cups."
When he got into the bedroom, I was naked. My cock was sticking straight out from my body. He took a look at it, grinned, and said, "That's just as nice as I imagined it would be."
"Well, young'un, it's all yours just as soon as I have pissed and brushed my teeth. Don't go away."
"Like I would!"
When I got back, he had turned down the covers, but he was lying on top stroking his cock. It was bigger than mine, probably eight inches. Not terribly fat, but really great looking, smooth and pink. He had nice balls, too, a couple of plums in their pink nearly hairless sac. Except for his pits and his pubes, he had no hair on his body. His calves and forearms had a fuzz of light brown. He had to be nineteen, but he looked more like sixteen just then.
Although his hair and eyes were brown, he reminded me of Justin on QAF. He had the same devilish look in his eyes that Justin often has. I wondered for a moment who was seducing who.
I shed my boxers and climbed onto the bed. On all fours, I began to suck his pretty cock. I don't know how much experience he'd had, but soon he was twisting his head from side to side, thrashing his arms, and moaning. Nothing verbal, just lots of loud groans.
I could tell that if I continued, he'd be coming long before I wanted him to, so I pulled away from his pecker and began tonguing his nips. He shuddered.
"Man, it sure doesn't feel like that when I rub them. I knew they were supposed to be connected to your dick some way, but it never worked for me until now."
I began to wonder whether he'd had any experience at all before that moment.
I stopped laving his nips. "Hook, have you had ANY experience with another guy?"
He looked indignant. "Sure I have. I've jacked off with a lot of guys."
"How many is a lot?"
"Well, two or three."
"And is that all?"
He blushed again. "Yeah."
"So, you're a virgin?"
"Yeah." Then he gave me that sassy grin again. "But not for long, I hope."
Damn. It was just like with G. Was it my lot in life to break in virgins? Then I felt a pang of guilt for being unfaithful to G. But what could I do? This kid was here, obviously desperate for me to introduce him to the wonderful world of mansex. I wasn't about to disappoint him.
"Baby, are you sure?"
"Oh, yeah, Phil, I'm sure."
I grabbed a handful of his hair. "Don't call me `Phil.' Ever! Got it, boy?"
He gave me a smartass grin and said, "Yessir!"
I pulled myself up to lie beside him, facing him, and put my arms around him. I put my lips to his, and he had his mouth open before I knew what had happened. We shared a wet, sloppy kiss, exploring each other's mouths.
"I thought you were inexperienced."
He grinned. "Well, my buddy Brendan in high school liked to do that. We did it a lot, actually."
My turn to grin. "He taught you well, so let's do that some more."
We kissed until my cock was urgently reminding me to get on with the agenda. I pulled away from his mouth and went for his neck and shoulders, licking and kissing in that area that drives most guys wild. Hook was no exception. He began to wiggle and moan as I gave him a hickey at the base of his throat. Then I attacked his nips again with my mouth, and he wiggled and groaned some more. Working my way along the standard path, I tongued his flat belly. He didn't have pronounced abs, but his abdomen was taut.
When I got to his pubes, I raised my head up. His cock was rigid with a clear drop of precum at the tip. I licked that drop off, gently. He shuddered. "Suck it, please," he whispered.
"I don't think so. I'll bet Brendan or one of your buddies has done that to you, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, let's concentrate on new experiences." I helped him to turn over on his belly. Then I pulled on his hips, so his ass was sticking up, and positioned myself behind him.
"You gonna fuck me?" he asked, seeming a little scared.
"Not just yet, baby." Then I began just to lick his ass cheeks. He had, I discovered when he turned over, the most delectable looking ass I had ever seen. I think the term bubble butt must have been coined by someone who had an ass like that in mind. There was no hair. There were no pimples. Just these two round, smooth little melons. It was a narrow little ass, but it stuck up nicely as I looked at it. It was the kind of butt you just had to get your mouth on, your face into.
As I said, I started by licking his cheeks. Then I moved into his crack and worked on that, going all the way from his taint to the top of the crease. He giggled for a minute, wiggled his butt a little, and then began to sort of coo.
"Ya like that, kid?"
"Oh, yeah. I never though it would feel so good."
After getting the whole trench pretty wet with my tongue, I began to work it around his cute little pink pucker and then began to lick it with the flat of my tongue.
"Oh, God, Philip! That's fantastic, man! Please don't stop."
I chuckled. Then I began to stick the tip of my tongue into his bud. "Oh, man!" he groaned, pushing his butt back against my face to get me deeper inside him. I tongue fucked his chute for a while, and then got up.
"Awww, don't stop!" He sounded like a little kid.
I slapped his rump hard enough to leave a red print on it.
"What was that for?" he said, looking over his shoulder at me.
"You gotta trust me, boy. I'm just getting a condom and my lube. Then I'm going to pop your cherry."
He grinned. "Talk is cheap, Halifax."
I slapped the other cheek. "Smart ass. You watch your mouth, or I might just forget the lube."
He looked serious. "This is going to hurt, isn't it?"
"Probably. But I'll go slow. You let me know if it gets to be too much. And remember what they say . . . ."
He looked over his shoulder again at me and said, "I know. I've read all the stories. I'm supposed to push like I'm taking a dump."
"That's right."
I had rolled the condom onto my lubed prick. Then I lubed the condom. When I put a dollop of the lube on my finger and worked it up his ass, he first jumped from the cold sensation and then began to purr.
I went through the finger routine, finding his nut and massaging it. I don't think he'd ever had anything like that before, because he began to take lots of short breaths in and out, almost as if he was panting.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just feel like I'm going to come, and I don't want to yet."
"So come! You're what, nineteen? You can shoot another load before you know what's happened." I continued to work my fingers in his ass, rubbing his prostate, and he continued to wiggle and groan.
Suddenly he sucked air in with a hissing noise. "I'm, oh God, I'm coming!" He shuddered, and I could feel the spurts of jizz which fired out of that pretty cock onto the sheets under him. Then he collapsed into the puddle of cum he'd just deposited there.
"How was that, stud?" I asked.
He opened one eye and looked up at me. "Like nothing I've ever experienced before. Fan-fuckin'-tastic!"
"Well, boy, you ain't felt nothing yet." I pulled on his hips to raise his butt back up where it had been. Then I put the tip of my impatient cock against his pucker and shoved gently. He tensed up for a minute, then relaxed, and I had the head inside.
"Oh, ow! That's a lot bigger than your finger. Give me a minute to get used to it."
I waited until he wiggled his butt and then slowly shoved it in a little further. He never cried out in pain, but I could see him squinting his eyes. He'd let me put a little more in him, then I'd wait. Then he'd let me know to push some more.
When I had my pubes against his smooth pink butt, I leaned over and kissed the back of his neck. He turned his head around so we could have a real kiss. He stuck his tongue out and I tickled the end of it with the tip of my tongue. He liked that, but then he managed to suck on my tongue. All the while my cock was quietly pulsing inside his chute.
"Okay, boy. You're now no longer a virgin. I've got my pecker all the way in you. Hang on. Let's celebrate!" I began to fuck him slowly. He got into it right away and began to thrust his hips back to meet me on the in-strokes. On the out-strokes it felt as if his ass muscles were gripping my cock, as if afraid I'd pull out. Soon we were fucking away, both of us moaning and muttering. I hoped my neighbors didn't hear us. When Geoff and I fucked, we were quieter than this kid.
I knew how to pace myself so I didn't come too soon, and since he'd already popped one load, it took us about twenty minutes before I came. My explosion into his guts, as I predicted, produced his second orgasm, so he added more cum to the puddle under him. I figured I'd have to put lots of bleach in that load of sheets.
"Oh, Philip. That was even better than I'd imagined!"
My soft cock came out of his hole with a little sucking noise. I peeled off the rubber and threw it in the waste basket. I stretched out beside him and took him in my arms. We were both lying in all that cum, but I didn't care.
"You imagined? You mean you've been thinking about this?"
He licked the end of my nose. "You bet! I've been fantasizing about you fucking me ever since I first started coming to the SGA meetings. I just never thought it would happen."
I laughed. "You little slut! You did seduce me!"
He grinned. "Yeah, as if I could." He rested his head on my chest, and soon he was asleep. I had a pang or two about G. and then drifted off to sleep myself.
The next morning we didn't wake up early enough to fuck again. I woke him by giving him a blowjob. Then we had to shower together and got a quick cup of coffee and some cereal, so that I could get to my 9:00 class.
I kissed him quickly in the parking lot. "Thanks, kid. You were great!"
"When can we do this again, Philip?"
I put my gloved hand under his package and hefted it. "I don't think we can, babe. I'm in a relationship, you know." Then I hopped in my car and headed off to class.
TIM:
Stan answered the phone. "Hello."
"Stanley, it's Tim. How are you?"
"Timmy! I'm great! How are you, babe?"
I chuckled.
"What's funny?"
"Oh, Stan, you're sexy even on the phone."
He laughed. "I love that. `Even on the phone.' Thanks. That's the kind of thing these old ears like to hear. Now, how are you and Ced?"
"I won't comment on the `old ears' bit. Ced and I are both well, thanks. How's Doug?"
"He's doing well. He's really picking up the law stuff quickly. You wouldn't believe how helpful he is at the office."
"How are the renovations to the house coming?"
"Slowly. We don't get to work much here except on weekends. But we're having a great time fixing this old treasure up."
"I'd love to see it."
"Well, come on down! Bring your brotherhood with you. We've got lots of bedrooms, if you don't mind Victorian wallpaper."
I chuckled again. "You two should open a bed and breakfast."
"Tim, I'd never thought of that. What a hoot! I'm going to mention that to Dougie."
"Aren't you and Doug planning to come up for a game before basketball season is over? Chaz and his friends are on a great winning streak right now."
"Yeah, that's our plan."
"Well, you'd better start thinking about it. The season will be over before you know it."
"Okay, I'll talk to Doug about that, too. We've been reading about how well Chaz and company are doing. I'd really like to see the big guy in action."
"I know he'd be pleased that you came to see one of his games. And you know we'd all love to see you and Doug."
"Well, we'd love to see all you hot young studs, too."
"Yeah, right. I do seem to have acquired a circle of sexy friends, that's for sure."
I paused, and when Stan didn't say anything, I continued. "Now, Stan, could I speak with your partner?"
"He's gone to Home Depot. He should be back in a half an hour or so. Can I have him call you back?"
"You can ask him a question for me. Then he can call me back at his convenience."
"OK. Shoot."
"We've just hired a new guy for the department. Ph.D. from Brown. Excellent credentials all around, and his Brown professors wrote glowing letters."
"Sounds like you found a good one."
"Yeah, and I like him. Ced and I took him to dinner at Stefan's. Then he came back home with us."
"So, Tim, what does this have to do with Doug?"
"This guy graduated from Cranmer. The best I can figure, he must have been there while Doug was still there. I just wondered if Doug knew him."
"Well, tell me his name, and I'll ask Doug when he gets home."
"His name is Richard Modarelli."
There was a long pause on the other end. "Stan, you still there?"
"Yes, Tim. I'm here. I'm just counting to twenty before I say anything."
"Why?"
"You say you've already hired the bastard?"
"Yes, we got his signed contract back the other day."
"Oh, shit! I wish you had called before you offered him the job."
"Is he a criminal? Is there something about him that would give us reason to say he had misrepresented himself? And how do you happen to know about Rick?"
"No, I don't think he has done anything actionable. If he passed himself off as a decent human being, however, he misrepresented himself. Rick the Prick is the reason why Doug left Cranmer, the reason why he left teaching."
[To be continued.}