The following fictional narrative involves sexually-explicit erotic events between males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or live in an area where it is not allowed, don't read it.
In the world of this story, the characters don't always use condoms. In the real world, everyone should practice safe sex.
The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's permission.
If you've gotten this far in the saga, you know that my friend and editor, Tom W., has written parts of three previous chapters, "Icy's Revenge" in chapter 5, Chaz's letter to Tim in ch. 8, the first scene in chapter 10, and that hot scene between Trey and Raul that ended ch. 15. I'm happy to say that Tom wrote the entire chapter below. As I told you in the preface to ch. 12, Tom is now posting "The TNT Files" in the Adult Friends section. Either one of us would be happy to hear from you about this chapter. Our email addys are below. --Tim
Hi folks, it's me, Tom. Yes, I had the idea that Chaz might be writing a diary during his time in Cincinnati. I'd never have said a word to Tim, though, if I'd known he'd make me write the thing. But I did, and now you're stuck with me for this chapter. Be good and send Tim lots of nice letters and you just might get him back for the next one.
Heartfelt thanks to Tim for letting me fool around with his boys and to Evan for good advice. Tim, Evan, Patrick, Ash, Mickey, and Sara, I love you all! I am so blessed having you in my life! --Tom
[I did not MAKE Tom write this chapter. I merely asked him to. I'm glad I did, as you will be, I think, after you've read it --Tim]
Finally, I'd like to dedicate this chapter, even though I didn't write it, to Evan Bradley. Evan, I hope you can bring yourself to be as charitable toward Chaz as you expect your readers to be toward Tim Minor. --Tim
Timmead88@yahoo.com OneSillyRat@aol.com Chapter 16: Chaz in His Own Write
JOURNAL OF CHAZ GREELEY, SUMMER, 2002
Friday, May 24, 2002
Home again. Everybody was happy to see the basketball stud. Aunt Ethel and Uncle John came over for dinner. Mom made meat loaf, my favorite dish, or that's what she thinks, anyhow. Don't know who planted that rumor. Whoever it was, he's no friend of mine, that's for sure. I never had the heart to tell her that I don't like the stuff. So I forced it down again.
Hehe, this diary-writing ain't half bad. It doesn't talk back, either!
Saturday, May 25, 2002
Went to my old gym this morning and signed for a two months membership. Gotta stay in shape (fight Mom's cooking)! Detailed three cars today. Gonna spend the cash tonight downtown. Maybe I'll meet some buds from school.
Sunday, May 26, 2002
Alcohol is bad. Too much of it is worse. A hangover and a mom dragging you to church is torture. It's Memorial Day weekend, and so we were invited to Auntie Ethel's afterwards, and it's meat-loaf AGAIN. I barely made it to the bathroom for some heavy porcelain worshipping. When I returned, Uncle John said I was a bit pale. Pale? I was green. I could see it in the bathroom mirror.
Maybe I should cut down a bit. I had put away too much Heinekens towards the end of term. I am an athlete, after all!
Monday, May 27, 2002
Memorial Day. We went to the cemetery and put peonies from Mom's garden on the graves of my grandparents and Pa's brother who got killed in Viet Nam. Always makes me wonder about the future. This year more than ever. Those last weeks with the guys, oh man. I still can't believe that night with Trey really happened. I tried not to think about it afterwards. OK, so I'm a coward. Worse, I think I let Trey down. I have until the Fourth to deal with this. Wonder what'll happen when he and I meet again?
Tuesday, May 28, 2002
Sheesh! That was a typical first day! Those kids are LOUD! Louder than last year, it seemed to me. Antsy, too. We divided them into teams, the squirrels and the rabbits. The squirrels whupped the wabbits big time in a basketball game, and Sammy Taylor, a skinny redhead, hurt his middle finger when he tried to catch the ball. He cried, and I asked if it hurt bad, and he said no, but he felt embarrassed at being so clumsy. I told him how once I had broken a pane of glass in Pa's hothouse and landed ass-first on one of his prized cactuses in the process. At that his eyes got big like saucers. "I can't believe you ever were clumsy!" he exclaimed, a bit breathless.
"Better believe it," I said. "You know, I was fourteen then and had grown so fast, I sometimes had trouble controlling all those arms and legs."
He giggled, and wow, he was cute! I threw my arm around his shoulder and we went to the first aid cabinet. I iced the finger and asked if we should call his mom. Turns out that his older sister, Dawn, is a counselor here too, teaching crafts. Together we tracked her down. She's a redhead like Sammy, only her hair is curled, and probably very long. She wore it in a bun, of all things. She took him to the hospital to have him checked out, so I ended up with all the kids for the rest of the day.
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
I've grown a second shadow. Sammy Taylor follows me EVERYWHERE. He's fourteen, looks like twelve and talks like thirty sometimes. Reminds me a bit of Tim Mead, actually. Funny, till just now, I haven't thought of the guys much. In fact, it doesn't feel bad being away from them for a while. So much has changed. Okay, Ced acts like he always does. But he is so happy with Tim. Even I can see how good they are together.
Tim is a nice guy. Stronger than I'd thought. Not a wuss at all. It still confuses me how he can treat me so friendly, like at Trey's tennis match. If someone had done to me what we did to him, there'd be no friendly ever.
And Mark, the last man standing straight -- I have a bit of a bad conscience for dragging him into that mess. He's had a hard time dealing with it. The lily up his ass was the funniest thing I ever saw, but hot, too. Now I can admit it.
Then there's Trey, my best buddy. He's so cool. I'm not ready yet to really face what we did that night. Ha, that second night with Sue-Ann was great. I showed her who's in charge all right. Trey knows about her. Hell, he and I aren't married, after all. No strings attached. I'm free to do what I want, and so is he.
Which reminds me of Raul. Trey looked kind of flustered that day. Something about the situation had smelled fishy. Like cum! Raul is a good-looking dude. What if Trey, like, falls for him? I'm not jealous, of course. They can fuck like bunnies this whole summer, now that I'm out of the way! They even can do it in my bed! Oh man. Well, I'm gonna have some fun, too! With girls, of course. On the other hand, why reject 50% of the population if you can have them all? Damn! Thinking about this makes me so horny! If some guy came and wanted to blow me, maybe I'd say yes . . . .
Thursday, May 30, 2002
Today I had the shock of my life. I was getting out balls, bats, and the basepads for some softball and Sammy was talking my ears off as usual, when behind me someone shouted "faggot!" I think my hands started to shake. How could anybody here know about that?
But then I heard Sammy sob. I looked at him. His face was real white and he backed away from me. Of course, they'd meant him.
"Sammy," I said, extending my hand towards him, but he turned around and ran away, fast as lightning. (Obviously basketball isn't his sport, he's a man for the track! Mmmh. Maybe I can work with him on that.) Later I realized that he had looked downright afraid. Poor kid. I decided to keep my eye on him, but he stayed away from me.
This evening at the gym, I tried to check out the guys a bit, but had to stop that pretty quick. Not only did one nearly catch me, I also was afraid of getting hard. How do Trey and Ced manage it?
Friday, May 31, 2002
No Sammy this morning, not at first. I took the kids on a jog for a warm-up and then had them do stretching routines. That's when I spotted his red hair, back in the last row. I let them do short track for an hour, then it was break, and after that they were due at crafts. Pottery (groan)! And his sister gave me the evil eye!
Well, they were getting clay all over themselves, and I was pretty much caught in a daydream that featured her in a mud-fight with Sue-Ann, when I was kicked back to reality. That red-haired bitch dragged me aside and hissed, "What did you do to Sammy?!"
Me? I opened my mouth to set her right, but she continued.
"He was so happy at first, he really liked you, you know. And then yesterday he came home completely crushed! When I told him to talk to you, his friend, he just broke down! So it's gotta have something to do with you!"
Wow, what a temper she had. Her eyes were blazing, and her face heated up. I thought next she would jump me and scratch my eyes out! And I hadn't done a thing! I felt my hackles begin to rise, too. I dragged her outside so that the kids wouldn't overhear us.
"Listen, spitfire, this has nothing to do with me! I just witnessed something, okay? I tried to talk to him, but he ran away!"
Now her face was almost purple. I waited for the explosion but was disappointed. She drew a deep breath.
"Okay, so what did happen?"
"I won't tell you. You gotta ask him."
"I already did, and he wouldn't tell me."
"Well, you can't blame him, with that temper of yours . . . ."
By now, we were close to shouting. The kids had stopped working on their pots and were watching, spellbound, trying, hopefully in vain, to understand what we were saying.
If looks could kill, I would have been totally dead. It didn't bother me, though. With a last icy glare she turned away from me and ignored me for the rest of the day.
Somehow, that was fun, hehe. But I decided to talk to Sammy as soon as possible. Poor guy, harassed by other kids, and cursed with a sister from hell!
I caught him later as he was carrying the kitchen waste to the compost heap. (Yeah, we're ecological!)
"Sammy," I said, "I want to talk to you."
He looked at me like he was in panic, ready to run.
I continued: "Listen, if all this is about what happened yesterday, you don't need to worry..."
But he interrupted me, screaming "No! Please! I don't wanna talk about it! Can't you just forget it?" And he turned and fled, and I stood there, unhappy, not sure if I should go after him, or not. Damn! I suck at these things. Now he'll spend the whole weekend in hell, and it's my fault. All of my friends, including Tim, would have been able to deal with him better than me, but Sammy was stuck with me. Well, I'll try again on Monday. At least he has to know after today that I'm still his friend.
Saturday, June 1, 2002
Weekend. The plan: Point one - detail some cars. Point two - go to the gym. Point three - have a Saturday night. Point 3.2 - drink lite beer only. Point four - get laid.
Good plan, huh? And it started out okay. Busy with point one, I mused about four, about the options. I thought about women. Sue-Ann came to my mind. And crabby Dawn. Yuk!!. And men? I figured I'd maybe prefer a smaller guy, smaller than me. Most guys are, anyway. No discussion about who's on top. Sure, I'd let Trey do me, but him I trusted. I would be careful. Hell, I know I'm big! No relationship stuff, just something casual. At that point I was horny again, so I took a break. (Grin.)
If there really is such a thing as gaydar, I sure don't have it. I looked at all those guys in the gym and didn't have a clue. Shit. This is tougher than I thought. One week down already, and nothing happened. No hardons in sight as I showered, either.
At my favorite hangout later, I felt like people were avoiding me. I was a bit nervous. I tried to look encouraging, really, but I went home alone.
Sunday, June 2, 2002
At least I wasn't hung over today. But if I had gotten some last night, this embarrassing thing wouldn't have happened. I got hard. In CHURCH! Christ! Because of Mary Something drying His feet with her hair! Mercy!
Monday, June 3, 2002
As soon as my group was complete, I sent them to collect rubbish in the wood nearby, and grabbed Sammy. Of course, he didn't want to, but I just held onto him and said he had to save me from Dawn. That got me a shy smile. We took seats at a picnic table, so I could keep an eye on the kids.
"Okay, tell me if I'm wrong," I said. "When those kids called you a fag, you ran away, because you were afraid I'd hate you, right?"
He nodded, eyes downcast.
"Listen, Sammy, I don't care if you're gay or not. You don't have to tell me, you know?"
He nodded again.
"But I need to know if someone gives you trouble, okay? So if it happens again, you can tell me and I'll take care of it. You understand?"
"Yes, thanks," he muttered. "Can I go now?"
"Just one thing. Talk to your sister. She worries about you. And Sammy, I thought we were friends, before. I hope we still are."
"You really don't mind?"
I knew what he meant and shook my head no.
For a moment he looked like he wanted to hug me, but he didn't. I got a tentative smile instead. `What the hell,' I thought! I pulled him close to me and gave him a tight hug. He just sort of relaxed against me for a minute. Then he pulled back and gave me the big smile I wanted.
Before he went to join the other kids he promised to talk to Dawn. Well, there'd be other things I could make her see red with . . . .
Tuesday, June 4, 2002
Another day with the squirrels and rabbits. After the warm-up I chased them through the woods till their asses were dragging. Lunch was only raw fruit and veggies. They must think we really are rabbits! It was our turn with the dishes. Sammy and I were the last in the kitchen.
I asked him if he had talked to Dawn, and he said he had. Then he asked why I wouldn't mind if he was gay. I was about to admit I was bi, but then only said I had gay and bi friends, and they were great guys.
But then he asked me "Are you gay, Chaz?" and he looked at me with his Tim-Mead-eyes, and I couldn't not tell the truth. So I took a deep breath, and said
"I'm bi, Sammy. I thought I was straight, but lately I found out I am attracted to guys, too."
At first his eyes were big with surprise, then they got a certain gleam in them and he said
"I think you're very hot!" and turned a pretty tomato-red.
"Well, you're cute, too." I said.
"Me, cute? Really?"
"Why not?"
"Cause I'm small and clumsy and...and I suck at sports!"
"Well, basketball is not your thing, that's for sure, but you're pretty good on the track. Anyway, does everybody have to be a dumb hunk like me?"
He smiled and said I was not dumb, and I did my best King-Kong imitation. That would have to be when his sister entered the kitchen. I stopped pounding my chest, but too late. She was biting her lip something fierce trying to keep from laughing.
"I came to apologize," she said, when she had regained control over her features. "I was wrong in accusing you that way."
"Maybe you should listen first before you start harassing innocent people." I said.
Uh oh. Wrong answer. The lady was not amused.
"I apologized!" she said icily. "The decent thing for you to say would be something like `no harm done'! But what can you expect from a gorilla anyway!"
And she turned on her heel and rushed out. Only, her shorts got caught on something in the door frame, and with an ominous sound they ripped right at the seam. Mouths hanging open, Sammy and I watched them sliding down her legs. And what nice, long legs they were! But the best was her shapely ass, set off wonderfully by a tiny blue tanga. Well well well!
"Real gross," Sammy whispered to me, and started to giggle.
"Yeah," I said, but when she stooped to get her tattered shorts up again, I couldn't help getting hard in reaction to the view!
She saw it, and with a frosty glare she said "Take a good look, `cause that's all you'll ever get!"
And she held them open once more! Well, the front wasn't bad either... Completely undisturbed, she threw me a last challenging glance, and left.
"Hey, Dawnie," I shouted after her, "No harm done!"
Sammy and I collapsed laughing. Dawn didn't look back. Well, that week started out pretty well!
Wednesday, June 5, 2002
Nothing special. Sammy and I are back to where we were before, and Dawn ignores me.
Thursday, June 6, 2002
Same as yesterday. Sammy has a new friend, Matt, about a head taller than him, even more gangly. I had pegged him as a typical nerd, until he won the 440 run I had organized for this afternoon! Wow!
Friday, June 7, 2002
Praise the Lord. Pottery-day again. We were a bit early and caught Dawn working on something. Seeing me, she set it on a high shelf to dry. The kids couldn't see it, but I could. It was the statue of a gorilla, standing bow-legged, massive like, hands well below his knees. And well below his knees, too, hung a long donkey-dong. Despite the small size of the figure, Dawn had managed to give its face a super-dumb expression.
She stood there, kinda smug-looking, obviously waiting for me to explode. Well, she was about to be disappointed!
"Wow," I said, "you're really talented! But you could have asked! Why be content with that when you can have the real McCoy?" For a moment I thought SHE would explode. Then she started to giggle, and I knew I had won. It was so infectious, I had to snicker too. Every time I started to sober up, a look at her, or at the statue, would set me off again. At the end, we were both totally exhausted. The kids, of course, threw us glances that clearly said we were nuts. I think I may like Dawn after all.
Saturday, June 8, 2002
I was lying on my belly, getting a backrub from somebody. Strong fingers kneaded my muscles from my neck to my shoulders, finding all those little kinks there, working them out. Gliding along my arms to my hands, which held on to the headboard. Then slowly down my back, thumbs digging into the muscles right and left of my spine, tracking my vertebrae, down to the small of my back. Warm hands resting on my asscheeks for a while. I couldn't move. I felt so relaxed, I was weightless. Then it began again. Hot fingers lightly tracing my neck, my shoulders, my arms. Lips, then a tongue, then teeth, softly nibbling on the sensitive area between my earlobe and collarbone, little catnips that made me shudder and grab the heardboard tighter. A bite into the tender skin on the side of my neck, gentle, with a tiny sting, made me moan into the pillow, and I pressed my rigid cock into the mattress. Those kneading hands were wandering down my back now, while the tongue licked its own way along the valley of my spine. Again the hands rested on my ass, warm, heavy. Involuntarily I backed up into them, wanting more. They pressed me down into the mattress, and we established a rocking motion, up and down, up and down, faster and faster, as the pressure of those hands increased. I was well on my way to orgasm, when suddenly the hands were gone, and I groaned at the loss of that delicious touch.
I was turned around. My hard cock was nearly parallel to my belly, throbbing in the rhythm of my heartbeat. I felt precum dripping down onto my skin. It was pitch dark, and I couldn't see a thing. My phantom lover was only a shadow in the night. But I felt a body coming closer, hovering above me. Long hair falling on my chest, as that dangerous mouth fastened on my left nipple. Sharp teeth clamped down on it, HARD, and I yelled, my body bucking wildly, while my hands still wouldn't let go of the headboard. My nipple was released. It felt hard as a little rock, pulsing, sending sparks right down to my groin. My lover's heavy body settled down on mine. We were both slick with perspiration, our hard cocks grinding against each other. His hair was long, curly and soft, smelling of hay and summer. It felt like silk, cool, soothing my burning nip. "Again," I whispered, and he obliged and went down on the other one, this time starting out with a tender tweaking, then ever so slowly increasing the pressure while I tried to ride it out, gasping and moaning, till it became too much and I groaned. He let up immediately, and again I felt his hair on me, taking the pain away. With tiny licks he worked his way down to my belly-button, dipping his tongue in there one, two, three times. "Please," I moaned, "please." Chuckling, he settled between my legs, and I arched my body up, searching for his mouth with my cock. In vain. I wasn't calling the shots here. So I waited, tensed in anticipation. What if he bit my cock like he had my nips? Or my balls? I didn't think I could bear that! But to feel that glorious hair of his down there! God, I was torn! My lover was quiet, inert. Did he know what was going on inside me? Somehow, I seemed to have reached a decision. "Do it!" I said, my voice deep and hoarse, and he laughed delightedly. "Yeah," he said, "hold on tight!"
At last his mouth descended on my cock. Soft lips wrapped themselves around its head, sliding down along the length of it, taking me, taking that big old cock, and there were no teeth at all, not the slightest scrape! Only wet heat, tight around the head where I felt his throat muscles swallowing me. This was pure bliss. He held me there for a while, till he had to come up for air, I guess. Then he backed off, slowly, until only the very tip of my dick was inside his mouth. I heard him take some deep breaths, and he plunged back down on me. Aaahh! This was -- ecstasy! It built and built, like a force of nature, a volcano. Lava in my balls, ready to erupt. His head started bobbing up and down my cock, just the tiniest fraction of an inch. I couldn't help it, I just had to fuck his throat to increase the friction. As I did that, his hand closed around my balls. A silent threat? But I was beyond fear. My thrusting became frantic. I HAD to come! NOW! He backed off again, to lick around my cockhead, while jacking me with his other hand. That did it. Floundering around helplessly, I reached a humongous climax, shooting huge amounts of spooge into his mouth. He continued licking me till I couldn't stand it any longer, and pleaded with him to stop. A last small nip made me yelp, then he let go of me. I lay there panting and trembling with aftershocks.
Finally, I unclenched my hands from the rails of the headboard and reached out to him. But there was no one. I was alone in my bed. Me and the sticky sheets. How embarrassing! A wet dream! The first in ages. I never had trouble getting my rocks off. And in the dream I'd had a male lover! That hair, though, it could have been Dawn's. And what I'd let him do to me! I really had gotten off on that pain thing. Was I bi AND kinky, too? What would come next? Water sports? Oh God please, PLEASE, no!!!
One thing I know: I'll stay at home tonight. I've got some serious thinking to do. I shouldn't bottle things up so much because it obviously comes back worse.
Sunday, June 9, 2002
When I woke up yesterday, REALLY woke up, I wouldn't have thought it possible for the day to get any worse. Well, I should have taken my own advice, and stayed in bed! `Cause it got worse. God, I think I'll throw myself into the Ohio where it's deepest! AND I'll put some rocks in my pockets, too. Just to make sure. This is what happened:
I made a total ass of myself. Nothing new, huh? Well, there was this great car. A red Corvette convertible. Brought in for detailing. A hand-job all the way. I was almost finished with the last coat, when the owner came to get it. Around five, like it was arranged. I hadn't seen her coming. She stood and checked the windshield, and I admired her hair, and, well, her ass, too.
For a moment I thought it might be Dawn, but in that outfit? Jeans, blue chambray shirt, work shoes? No way!
"Nice car, Lady," I said.
"Glad you like it," she answered in a strange voice, like she had a cold or something, and then she turns round, and she's a man! Who doesn't look feminine at all!
Okay, so he's more on the shorter side, maybe around 5'8", the body quite sturdy. Blue eyes that looked really hot with that hair. And full, pouty, suckable lips. I think I'm losing it. What's happening to me? When did I start noticing things like that?
What's with that boy/girl thing anyway? These days you may as well be bi, if it isn't possible to tell one from the other! When had life become so confusing? I used to think I had the world by the ass. And what if that man told dad about this? I could be in deep shit here.
"Sorry," I stuttered, embarrassed and tongue-tied. "I . . . uh, I . . . ."
At that point he must have sensed my embarrassment, `cause he said slowly, in a calm voice. "Relax, man! It happens, sometimes. It's the hair. No harm done."
`No harm done?' And that hair! Somehow he seemed familiar to me. He looked a lot like Dawn. But there was more, a kind of -- connection? Then it clicked in my mind. This was what the phantom lover of my dream might look like in daylight! But it had been a dream, hadn't it?
"Sorry," I said again, feeling incredibly stupid. "It's just, you reminded me of someone."
"A woman?" he asked.
"No," I said, too quickly. His eyebrow rose quite a bit.
Realizing my error I amended "Well, yes, of course."
"You seem a bit confused." He was positively smirking!
"Yeah," I agreed with a sigh, "I guess I am!"
Probably out of pity he left a big tip. And that's it.
I'm so screwed up. And nobody here to talk to. I wish I could call Trey, or e-mail him. But I'm not sure how things are between us. What if he was jealous because of Sue-Ann, or worse, if I had hurt his feelings? We should have talked more, I suddenly realized. Now, usually I'm no fan of big discussions. I really wish things were clear between us. Suppose he decides what we had was a one-time thing and starts something with Raul?
Stupid of me to tell him about Sue-Ann. But we are so close, we tell each other stuff. Had we messed up our friendship because of the sex we had? I hoped not. And was it just sex that night, or maybe something more? It had seemed inevitable to me, us two, getting together. I'd had to have him, have him have me. Needed him, like I think he needed me. And then I'd run. And he had, maybe -- waited? For a sign from me? And I had gone to prove I'm a stud with Sue-Ann, the girl that had more balls than I'd ever have. That really had been sex, nothing more. She knew what she wanted and went for it, without making it something it wasn't. She was more honest with me than I had been with Trey. And I had resented her for it. Talk about double standards!
I think this writing helps me see things a bit clearer. But I was wrong when I said that this thing doesn't talk back. Somehow, it does.
One thing's for sure: I can't wait till the Fourth with this. I have to do something. Now. I have to talk to Trey. But, as long as I'm not sure what I want from him, I'll probably only hurt him more. So, who else could help me? I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing this with Markie. That leaves Ced. Or Tim. Either of them would be good. If I call now, I'll probably disturb their precious weekend. Tomorrow Ced will be back in Shaker Heights. Maybe tomorrow evening?
Monday, June 10, 2002
Man, was I wiped today. Even Dawn noticed it and asked if I was ok. Since I really didn't feel up to taming the crowd right then, I asked her if she could take over with some crafts, and she did. I had only Matt and Sammy stay with me, as I wanted to work with them on their running. Afterwards we were completely exhausted. The boys bitched about me being a slave-driver. Well, I enjoyed it. It was just what I needed.
In the evening I called Ced, but he wasn't at home. I said I'd call again later. Then I tried it at Tim's, but got the answering machine only. I didn't leave a message.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
It IS a small world. As I arrived at the park this morning, I saw Dawn and Sammy climbing out of a familiar red Corvette. Didn't really surprise me. Seeing me, Dawn talked animatedly to the driver, who got out, too. She did the honors.
"This is Chaz Greeley, Sammy's friend," she said. "Chaz, this is David, my brother. We're twins, actually."
David grinned. I felt a bit weak. Of course he was the long-haired guy from Saturday. I looked into his eyes, imploring him silently to keep his mouth shut. In vain. Must run in the family. They never shut up.
"But that's my caveman!" he said. Everybody was quiet for a moment. Then Sammy, Dawn, and David collectively started to snicker.
"Hehe, David's caveman is Dawn's gorilla!" Sammy squealed. Their eyes turned to me, gleaming with anticipation.
"Ugh ugh," I said, and everybody, including me, cracked up and we laughed till we hurt.
With that phone call ahead of me I was preoccupied all day. Of course the little critters noticed that I was miles away with my thoughts. I didn't even mind the green stuff we had for lunch again.
Dawn grows on you, btw. She's special. OK, I really don't go for that hippie thing of hers, but she's cool. Good-looking, too. As is her bro. I wonder if he also shares her explosive temper and her warped sense of humor. She's just that kind of girl, or woman, OK, that I would have been afraid of, not so long ago. And David, he intrigues me. Plus, I think I resent him calling me "caveman!" The way he looks, he probably has the gals AND guys fawning all over him. Shit. This gets me nowhere.
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
5 a.m. Up early. Didn't sleep too well. Well, duh! Talked to Ced yesterday. Not the revelation I'd hoped it would be! I told him the basics about Trey and me. He was surprised. I said that I was afraid I'd hurt Trey with my going back to Sue-Ann. And that I had no idea what to do now. He was sympathetic, but said he couldn't help me much. That I had to decide where I wanted to go with Trey, and that I shouldn't talk to him before I was real sure of what I wanted. What kind of feelings I really had for him. Maybe it was because he was my first. He said I should use the time away from them. Then he said something funny: "Don't think too much, Chaz! Don't try to force it. Live a little, buddy, feel the vibes!"
Me, think too much! That'll be the day.
Friday, June 14, 2002
The last day with those kids. The last big softball game, (the rabbits won again, despite Sammy and Matt). Matt is jumpy these days. The only place where he doesn't stumble over his own feet is on the track. Since Dawn is working here, and their parents are away on a longer trip, Sammy, and maybe Matt, will be here the next three weeks, too.
In the afternoon we had the great farewell party we prepared for all day yesterday. I'm gonna miss some of these kids, really.
Monday, July, 1, 2002
Well. Ced told me not to think too much. So I had to stop the diary-writing, `cause that made me think an awful lot. But now, at the end of my six weeks of day-camp, and three days before I'll see Trey again, it's time to wrap things up.
The new kids we got were a rougher lot. Both S&M had a hard time with them. They didn't want me to intervene, though. Only, at one point I had to. Some of the kids had harassed them again and again, called them names, like fags' and queers' and so on. One afternoon when that happened again, Matt had squared his shoulders, and said, yes, he was gay. And that he thought Sammy was the cutest guy ever, and that he was in love with him. At that Sammy went nearly ballistic, screamed something like "MORON!" at Matt, and ran away! Now, what to do first, go after Sammy, console Matt, or deal with the jeering kids? I sent Dawn after Sammy, and had the kids wait for me in the tent, so I could deal with Matt first.
He was proud, but devastated, too. We sat down at one of the picnic tables. I told him I admired his courage for coming out like that, but it meant nothing to him, he was so afraid that Sammy'd hate him now. And that he'd never have a chance as long as I was around!? I swallowed my surprise at that and said that was only hero-worship, and I'd be gone soon enough. I said he couldn't make Sammy like him, but he'd surely have Sammy's respect after what he did today -- when Sammy finally had cooled down enough to see things reasonably. That made him grin. OK, he's tall and gangly. But his smile was really nice. I told him so, and he told me to be careful, or I'd have two infatuated teenagers at my feet! I pretended to be terrified, and we laughed.
The kids in the tent got THE SPEECH. In my camp nobody would be harassed because of his or her sexual orientation, or anything else. That harassing people was a sign of your own weakness, fear, and insecurity. I said, in this camp we were tolerant folks, and proud of it. People who were different from us were no threat to us! Yeah! At first they were speechless, at the end they cheered me on.
Afterward I was surprised myself. Obviously I'd changed some since the last time I looked.
After that day things were looking up at camp. Of course, Matt was needled endlessly, but in a friendly way. He took it with dignity. He was so attentive towards Sammy, sometimes it was even a bit much I think, but Sammy never complained, and mostly he seemed to enjoy it.
The last weekend, Saturday, the 29th, I was invited over to Sammy's parents' house. They were still abroad, a second honeymoon kind of trip through Europe, so the house was ours. First time I had seen Dawn not in camp uniform, but in a dress. Tight around her upper body, wide and flowing around her legs, some thin, dark-red fabric, her hair down for once. She looked pretty damn good!
And David! Oh wow!! This man is just too sexyl. He looked like something from the Arabian Nights, a Djinn. (Well I saw that cartoon, k?) He had on turquoise silk pants that accentuated his ass deliciously. When he moved you could see how muscled his legs were, and sometimes even the contours of a hefty package through the clinging material. A white, sleeveless top set off his tan. Together with his blue eyes and mahogany curls he looked downright exotic. A Turkish Delight! Me, I wanted to taste him. He made my mouth water and my cock twitch. He was aware of that, he caught me staring at him more than once! I'm afraid Sammy and Dawn noticed, too, `cause there was a lot of giggling going on behind my back.
I didn't even eat half the ribs I'd normally have, I was hungry all right, but for him! When he caught me looking again, I didn't look away like the other times but held his gaze, trying to read it. Our eyes locked. I can imagine what he saw in mine. His were teasing, but a little earnest all the same. One of his eyebrows rose questioningly. I licked my lips. He grinned at me openly, then looked down into my lap. Yep, there was definitely something stirring there.
"Let's go inside," he said, getting up.
I wanted to, very much. But what about Dawn and Sammy? I looked at them, I was afraid Sammy might be jealous. There was a knowing smirk on his face which made me feel like a kid, somehow. Then he smiled and nodded at me it was ok.
Dawn whispered "Go for it!" and I did. David took my hand and led me inside.
Like David himself, his room was outrageous. African masks on the walls, together with posters of bands I knew, like the Chili Peppers, and some I didn't, like Manic Street Preachers. What a name! The room was overflowing with all kinds of weird stuff, shiny clanging dangly things. A desk buried under papers and books, most of the walls hidden by bookshelves.
The bed was queen-sized , with lots pillows and a big afghan. A giant fern in a dark corner. It really looked like the room of some kind of magician. And I was already under his spell. But I wondered what the guy saw in me! Since I was feeling bold, I asked. He understood me perfectly.
"Don't sell yourself short, Chaz;" he said. "You like to think that you're just a dumb jock and no more, but truth is, you're only hiding behind that dumb-jock image. It has been comfortable for you in the past. But you're about to grow out of that old suit!"
He was right. I could see it, too. How smart he was! He continued:
"Your caterpillar-days are over, Chaz. I'm going to make you fly!"
He would make me cream my pants without ever touching my cock, if he kept on talking like that! I could only watch him, already breathless, as he slowly approached me. His hips were swaying like he was a harem-boy, sent to seduce the ignorant barbarian with his charms. This was unreal! It was more dreamlike than that dream I'd had.
Until he touched me. Then it became very real. He stood in front of me, his hands flat on my chest. He must have been able to feel my heart beating frantically.
"What do you want to do ?" he asked.
I looked at his bed. No headboard. So there!
Taking a deep breath, I slid my hands under his silk top and pushed it up and over his head. I let it drop somewhere. My t-shirt followed. With my hands on his asscheeks I pulled him closer and up on his toes, so I could grind my hard cock into his. I was careful, though, because my jeans were a lot rougher than his silky pants! Even through the jeans it was unmistakable how hot and hard he was. His pectorals were very hairy against my nips that got erect immediately. And there was something else hidden under that hair around his left nip, a tiny silver ring. O MY GOD! He was pierced! What a turn-on!
"Get on the bed!" I ordered, my voice rough with desire. As he lay down gracefully, his hair fanned out all over the pillow. He looked like an offering, smiling up at me invitingly, confident in his sexuality. I wanted to eat him up. So I knelt down beside him and went straight for the ring. I pushed the tip of my tongue through, and pulled softly. He moaned, so I did it again and again. At last, I sucked the whole nip into my mouth, ring and all, and he nearly went through the roof!
He had a white-knuckle grip on the afghan. I backed off a bit and watched him tremble and pant. Wow, what a trip to see him so hot and know that I had gotten him there! But I was VERY aroused, too. For once I liked the tightness of my jeans, that pressure. It felt right for me to be restrained that way, I wanted this first part to be for him only. He was sweating like crazy, his thin pants were soaked and nearly transparent. Damn, Sam, he looked fine!
I went back to his nipple, working it till he was panting and thrashing around again. Then I went for his cock. Through the silk I gave it long licks, from root to cockhead. My right hand was caressing his balls.
"Chaz," he sobbed, "more! I need more! Aah! Please!"
And suddenly his hands grabbed my head and pressed it into his groin, and he was pushing up frantically at my cheek, my mouth. He looked so totally hot like that, my balls started to draw up!
I saw that he was getting close too and worked myself loose from his grip. He fell back on the bed, wiped.
"Wanna make me beg for it?" he asked.
I eyed him speculatively.
"I could."
"Yeah," he said, licking his lips over and over, "you could."
Oh man! That was tempting. But I didn't want to torture him too much, or he would have no energy left for what I wanted him to do to me.
So I took his pants off. He lifted his sweet ass eagerly to help me with it. His cock was a beauty. Cut, not overly long, but thick, the big vein blue and pulsing. The head was wet with precum, and I went for that like a bear going after honey. Holding him with my left hand, I swirled my tongue around his sensitive head. His precum was sweet all right! I concentrated on his cockhead. He tried to push deeper into my mouth, but with my weight I held him down. I kept on licking till I felt that he was close again, and then I took him as deep as I could. He bucked one, two, three times, yelled like a madman, and came. The first two shots of cum went right down into my stomach, then I pulled back so I could really taste him. Wow! He was salty, musky and sweet, just like I thought he would be.
As I saw him lying there afterwards, like totally exhausted, I had doubted whether he would be up to what else I wanted from him. But I was pleased that I had satisfied him.
From somewhere he produced a bottle of water and offered it to me. I drank half of it and gave him the rest. He smiled at me.
"That was a hell of a ride. Thanks, Chaz." His eyes got darker as he continued "Gimme a sec, man, and it's your turn."
Yep! That's what I wanted to hear!
He suggested we take a shower. That's when I finally got rid of my jeans and boxers. He whistled at my hard-on.
"Wow, what a prize!" Exactly!
Under the shower we lathered each other up. As I felt his hands gliding down my spine, I had a sudden flashback from my dream, and I leant forward, supporting my body with my hands on the tiles, and pushed my ass back out at him. He took the hint and began to knead my cheeks firmly. Finally, when I was about to ask for it, there was a soapy finger at my backdoor. I relaxed as well as I could, and he pressed in.
"Yess!" I hissed.
"Glad to oblige. You're tight, Baby..."
"I haven't done this very often." I said truthfully.
"Ever been fucked?" he asked.
And I said "Once."
I could tell my lack of experience was a turn-on for him.
"Baby," he promised, "I'm gonna take you for a wild ride. Gonna show you the moon and the stars, and the sun!"
I could only nod. My mouth was suddenly very dry!
"Come on," he urged. We got out of the shower, rubbed each other dry, eager for what would follow. He had me lie down on the bed and settled between my legs.
I was hard and pulsing, had been for a long time. He ignored my weeping cock. Instead he held my balls out of the way very gently and started tonguing the area behind them. It tingled all over, I spread my legs wider. He had me lift my ass and pushed a pillow under me. Now I was lying there all open for him. He didn't hesitate a second. Swiftly his tongue circled around my hungry hole, making me clench and unclench with tiny little licks.
He worked that area a long time, and my buttring was getting more and more relaxed, eager for something different! I wanted that beautiful cock inside me!
"Please, David, fuck me now!" I pleaded.
"Soon, Baby, I gotta make you ready for it first."
I already felt totally ready.
Slowly he pushed one lubed finger into my chute, and that felt SO good! No problem at all. He added a second one. I tried to control my breathing to speed the prepping. He kept on working more and more lube into me, scissoring me open patiently. Finally he must have figured I was ready.
I pulled my knees up and as far apart as possible, while he knelt there with his cockhead touching my hole. Our gazes locked, and he pushed in. Oh, he was big. My sphincter gave really slowly. Without all that lubing and prepping it'd never have worked. But this way the friction was delicious, as he slowly slid home. All I felt was a slight burning, no real pain. When he was in all the way, he rested there for a little while, deep inside of me. My whole being was centered around his cock in that moment, the feeling of being absolutely filled made me tremble under him.
I saw a devilish gleam in his eyes then. He pulled out, and I just fell apart. I gasped. I'd never felt anything like it, as if my lungs were pulled out of my ass. On his next stroke inward he hit my nut, and I howled again, for other reasons! He grinned, kept the angle, and increased the pace. I couldn't think anymore, I just held on to him and took it. I moaned with every push. With one slippery hand he started jacking me off, and I came immediately, very hard. My cum shot up between us, hitting me, him, and as we saw later, the wall behind the bed.
He fucked me right through that orgasm, relentlessly. At the end I pleaded for him to stop. He asked if I really couldn't take anymore, then said he thought I could.
A challenge! So I told him to go on. It didn't really hurt, I was just tired and a bit tender back there. He fucked me slower now, but steadily, through the valley and up the hill again. His sweat was dripping down on me. And I got hard again.
At one point he pulled out and turned me around, so that I was on my stomach. More pillows were shoved under me. What a picture that must have been! My upper body down on the bed, my ass high in the air, my hole surely gaping wide open.
"Can you go some more?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Okay, then. Once again!"
And in he was! He meant business this time, his rhythm gave it away. I tried humping the pillows because I wanted to come again when he did, but he held my hips so I couldn't move.
He was pushing in deeper than ever when I heard him cry out hoarsely, and his thick cock pulsed inside of me, once, twice, and he leaned down on me, bit me hard in that place between neck and shoulder. That was all I needed. I came, too. As they say, the earth moved!
We both collapsed, a sweaty, messy heap. How we managed to shower AND change the sheets afterward is beyond me. But we did. I felt weak like a new-born kitten. But also at peace with myself, for the first time in weeks.
That morning we made love again -- tenderly, easily this time. We both knew we were saying goodbye. In three days, David would be on his way to the West Coast, and I was going to the cookout on Saturday.
When we all said goodbye after lunch, I knew I was leaving friends behind. Dawn and Sammy each gave me a big hug. David walked me to my car. I thanked him for that night and said it had been a revelation for me. He grinned delightedly at that and hugged me, too. And I drove off.
David had shown me just how good casual man-to-man sex could be. Oh, had he ever! But I wondered how much better it would be with a guy you really loved. (I've come a ways, haven't I? I can admit that I love Trey and not feel funny about saying so.)
Driving home, I thought about Trey and me. I knew what I wanted. I wondered if he did.
(Chapter 17, "End of Term," will be posted in about two weeks. ---Tim)