The following story is fiction. It involves sexually- explicit erotic events between males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or live in an area where it is not allowed, don't read it. In the world of this story, the characters don't always use condoms. In the real world, everyone should practice safe sex.
The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent.
My regular readers will remember the letter from my friend Mickey in the preface to "Tim," ch. 8. I want you to know that Mickey has just posted the first chapter of his story, "Billy and Danny: Freshman Year" this week in the College and Interracial sections. I've been privileged to see the first six chapters of this story, and I love it. I think you will, too.
Now, back to my story. My friend, Tom W., wrote the first scene in this chapter and a part of the Trey/Chaz scene later. One of these days, you're going to see an intriguing story on Nifty by my buddy Tom. Meanwhile, thanks, Tommy, for all your help! I also want to thank Evan, Patrick, and Ash for all their help. Being able to discuss writing with gifted writers like all these guys is a real joy! -Tim
timmead88@Yahoo.com Chapter 10: Charity Project?
CHAZ:
I stormed out of the apartment like a bat out of hell, pulling the door shut so hard it shook in its frame and the crash echoed through the building. I was mad! I stomped down the stairs, flung the door open, and was greeted by a downpour of rain that soaked me in an instant. The sucker was ice cold, too. I thought about going back and changing into something dry, but no way. I couldn't face Trey right then. I was so pissed I was afraid of what I might do. So I walked. The rain ran down my neck into my jacket. I didn't feel cold, though, `cause I was so angry, like a steaming buffalo ready to charge at something, anything. Who needed that bunch of losers, anyway? Not me!
Somewhere, I passed an open door. Noises from inside reached my ear -- the clinking of glasses, people talking, music. I heard a song I knew, "underneath your clothes, there's an endless story, there's the man I chose, that's my territory . . . ." Shakira. Wow she was hot! Then, all of a sudden, an image of Trey flashed in front of my eyes, naked between Ced and Tim. His cock was hard, and he was smiling right at me. No! Not again.
I shook myself and looked up. Above the door, a red neon sign announced this was "The Mermaid Tavern," and the window to the right of the door showed a blue-green mermaid on the pane. Since I was about as wet as you can get on the outside, I decided to wet down my insides too.
I went in, heading straight for the bar. "Jack Daniels, neat," I said, producing my driver's license. Instantly a glass appeared with two inches of booze in it. I downed the stuff, loving how it burned its way down my gullet, and ordered another. The bartender, a guy the others around the bar were calling "Ben," was a small, withered cowboy kinda guy with a dark tan and blue eyes. He asked, sort of softly, "Trouble with the Lady?" It was easy to agree. I nodded, downing the second drink. He didn't say anything more, and I sat there just dripping all over the place.
After a while I had my third whiskey. My anger had disappeared, and I was feeling mellow, sorta buzzed. Nice. I turned my back to the bar and surveyed the crowd. The place was packed. Four guys were sitting at a table under the window with the mermaid. They had obviously come in to get out of the rain, `cause they were wet like me, but in high spirits. Not what I wanted to see right then.
A thought crossed my mind. Would Trey be interested in them, like in - sexwise? Maybe check them out? I'd never noticed him doing such a thing. But then, I hadn't noticed a lot about him. Jen had called me "insensitive." That hurt. I'd been so sure of that chick. On the other hand, did I want to be "sensitive"? Didn't sound very manly, did it? More like faggy, if you ask me. What did she want with that? She was always willing, never complained, so WHAT, dammit?
`What the hell,' I thought and continued looking around. A table at the far end of the room drew my attention. Three girls at it, all prime stuff, lots of hair and 64 teeth, that kind. As I watched them, the blondest one stood up and sashayed over in my direction! Yeah, the girls love me all right! She was wearing those jeans that sit low in the hips, very tight there, and the legs got very wide at the ankles. She had on high-heeled shoes. A silky-looking blouse, knotted under her breasts, showed off her belly piercing. Green eyes that didn't look at me at all. Huh?
Instead, she turned towards the bar, waiting for the cowboy to notice her. Mmh, she smelled nice, too! I decided to go for it.
"Buy you a drink?"
She looked at me like she was going to say "no," and then she must have recognized me. Being on the varsity basketball team does have its perks. So I received a dazzling smile, and that super-babe whispered, "A coke, please . . . ."
After I ordered and paid, she said, "Thanks, Chaz."
"Oh," I said, all innocent-like, "you know me?"
And then she said sure, I was kinda famous, and she'd seen me around, and did I remember her since she sometimes hangs out with Jennifer.
At that my eyes narrowed. She saw it, and added quickly, "You know, Chaz, you were right to ditch her. I always thought she didn't deserve a stud like you."
Oh? I ditched Jen - and I was a stud? Better and better!
"Uhm," I managed, "now that you say it, I guess I have seen you before . . . ."
"I knew you'd remember me," she said excitedly, doing a funny little jump that had her boobs bouncing under my nose. I could tell she wasn't wearing a bra, and I quickly became uncomfortable on that barstool. My dick started getting hard but was confined in my clammy boxers and the jeans that were still clinging wetly to my bod. I partly stood up and tried to rearrange things without her knowing what was happening. It didn't work.
"Everything OK, Chaz?" she asked, looking down at my bulging jeans.
"Yeah, I was . . . uh . . . just, er, I've forgotten your name."
She pouted. I got harder. Her lips looked so wet!
"Sue-Ann," she said, finally.
"Sue-Ann! Of course! I promise, hon, I won't forget again."
That earned me another one of those smiles. I was thinking about how to get things really started, but she beat me to it.
"Wanna see my stamp collection, Sugar?"
I wasn't that drunk, was I? She really had said it. Well, now!
"You show me yours . . . ," I said, grinning. "And mine will be bigger!"
"I sure hope so," she said. "Come on, my car is outside."
Giggling, we ran out in the rain, and, man, it was still pouring. My clothes went from damp back to wet in seconds as we hurried to her blue Z3 convertible (with the top up, of course).
In we jumped and off we went. (Hey I like that. Wonder if Mead would?) Thank God the streets were empty. That girl had me close to praying the way she drove. Her apartment turned out to be a freakin' mess, but the bed was BIG.
She undressed me. I love it when they do that! But it wasn't easy with me being so wet. Then she put two chilly hands on my hard tool and said, "I hope you won't disappoint me." She looked down and added, "Big Boy!"
I hoped so, too. I was really ready for this. I fumbled a bit with that stupid knot in her blouse. "Let me," she hissed impatiently, and proceeded to undress herself. You can bet I watched real close. Then she produced a rubber from somewhere, handed it to me, got on the bed on her hands and knees, and looked at me over her shoulder. For the second time that night, a picture of Trey flashed before my eyes! He was naked, on his knees, looking back at me over his shoulder. I could see his asshole and his balls, hanging low in their sac.
"What are you waiting for? Come on, Baby, put your big thing inside me! I want it hard and fast!"
So I knelt down behind her, but somehow my erection began to wilt. Shit!!
"Uhm, Sue-Ann, would you . . . uh, suck me a little first?"
She sighed, "Yeah, `kay."
And she pushed me onto my back and went down on me like a Hoover. Well, man, that's all it took for me to get hard again, steely hard. When she was satisfied that my cock was ready, she took the rubber and put it on me. Then she got it wet with her spit, climbed on, and rode me like she was Bill and I was the buffalo!
Somehow, she even got me going a second time! I was wiped after that and just wanted to sleep. But I got an elbow in the ribs, and she said I had to go now. Now? Shit! I slowly worked myself back into those cold, wet clothes. Disgusting! Enough to make your balls and dick shrink!
At the door she promised she'd call me. And there I was, outside again. I was tired. I was cold. I was wet. And for some freakin' reason, I was depressed. I finally made it home. The rain had stopped and the air was even colder now.
I could make out some stars between the clouds, way up there. They reminded me of a camping trip with the guys. We had been sitting around the dying fire, looking up at the sky. Ced and Mark had been talking about the fact that, even as their light was reaching us, the stars themselves might be long gone. Then the others talked about the speed of light and relativity. Trey ended the discussion with the words, "Well, anyway, they're here for us now!" I laughed, and we two high-fived. I felt kind of sad, thinking back on that.
Without really noticing, I had arrived at our building. I snuck up the stairs and into my room, quietly, not wanting to wake Trey.
CEDRIC:
I closed the door of his apartment behind me, grabbed Tim by the ass, and pulled him up into a kiss. Instead of putting his arms around my waist or playing with my nips as he sometimes does, this time he grabbed me by the ass and began to try to stick his fingers in my crack. My jeans kept him from getting very far, but he managed to get me boned up good.
I broke the kiss and said, "Whooeee, babe. Whutchu up to?"
"Oh, I've got plans for you, sexy. But first, I have something to tell you." Taking me by the hand, he led me to the sofa, where he indicated I should sit. Instead of sitting beside me, as he does when we're watching television or just snuggling together, he sat in a chair opposite me.
"I broke my engagement with Amy this afternoon."
A huge feeling of relief came over me, but then I remembered that breaking the news to Amy must have been really hard for him.
"How'd it go?
"Well, we parted friends, I'm happy to say. She said she had seen this coming."
"Oh?"
"Mm hmm. You know, I haven't been able to get over there as often as she thinks I should. It's a four-hour drive to Indianapolis. If I try to do the trip in one day, I never get started back until late, and then I'm wiped out when I get here. If I stay overnight, the whole weekend's shot, and I have to stay up most of the night Sunday to mark papers and prepare for my classes. So she had about decided that our relationship couldn't stand the separation."
"I wonder when she was going to get around to telling you that."
"She said she planned to talk with me about it the next time I came to see her. The ironic thing is that she suspected me of having someone else weeks before I met you."
He came over and sat beside me. I put my arm around him.
"Amy is a wonderful person, Ced. She deserves to be happy, but dammit, so do I. I'm glad she and I are breaking up without too many hard feelings."
"Tim, I've got to tell you, I am SO relieved you've done this. And, sweetheart, I'm really happy that it hasn't been super stressful for you."
He put a hand on either side of my face and pulled my head towards his for a kiss. After a couple of hours, or however long that kiss took, he began to rub my cock through my jeans.
"Now," he said, with this sly look on his face, "feel like a shower?"
"Well, li'l stud, I've already had one today, but it sounds like fun. Let's do it."
I began to unfasten my jeans as we went toward the bathroom. Tim had his shirt off before we got there. We kept bumping into each other as we scrambled to get off pants, shorts, shoes and socks, laughing the whole time.
We had our usual good time in the shower, gently but thoroughly soaping and rubbing each other's bodies. Then, when I thought we were through, he gestured for me to turn around and face the wall. "Bend over a little, hunk," he said.
I put my hands flat against the tile, leaning forward. In that position I knew he had to be going for my ass, but I still wasn't sure what to expect. I gasped when he stuck first one soapy finger up there, and then another. He twisted them around, spread them apart, and before long inserted a third finger.
"Doctor Mead," I said, "I'm shocked. What ARE you doing?"
"I should think, Mr. Jones, that would be obvious."
Giggling (yeah, giggling), I said, "OK, Timmy, why are you doing that, babe? Just what do you have in mind? Do you want me to come right now?"
He stopped what he was doing and slowly withdrew his fingers. "No way, studly. I'm just getting you all clean for what's to come."
I could hardly wait for what was to come.
We rinsed off, stepped out of the shower, and dried each other just as slowly and lovingly as we had washed each other.
Then Tim reached down and grabbed Sneaky, using him as a handle to lead me into the bedroom. The bed had nothing on it except the bottom sheet.
"OK, big boy, on your face, please," he said.
"But I thought you didn't like doggie style."
"No back talk," he said, smiling as he slapped me on the butt. "Just do what you're told."
"Yes, SIR!" I said, hurrying to stretch out on my stomach.
I expected him to reach into the bedside table drawer and get the lube, but he didn't.
He said, "You know, Ced, I've always liked women's asses as much as their boobs. Since you came into my life, I've been looking at guy's asses a lot, too. But man, yours is absolutely munchable!"
"OOOHHH, daddy!" I responded.
With that he climbed onto the bed on all fours, his arms and legs straddling my legs. He began to lick my cheeks. Long, slow licks, starting with the tops of my thighs and going clear up to the small of my back. As he did that, he was sort of growling. He'd do first the right side, then the left, but each time he changed sides, he got a little nearer to my crack. Francis never did that, but I knew better than to mention Francis. I didn't know where Tim got the idea, but I was sure glad he thought it up. Man, I was frantic. It was SO hot, knowing what his destination was. But he was taking his time, slowly and deliberately licking my butt.
Sneaky was, of course, rigid, throbbing, and leaking. Suddenly, Tim backed up and spread my legs apart. Grabbing my cheeks, he separated them with his thumbs. Growling again, he began to tongue around my hole, slowly, around and around, never quite touching it, just around and around. By this time, as he growled, I was moaning. I wondered if the neighbors could hear us.
"Babe, you're driving me crazy!"
He paused and blew on my asshole. As I jumped, he said, "OK, lover, next phase."
You have to keep in mind that he had never done this before. He obviously had a wonderful imagination, but then, that's Tim.
He began to lick my hole with just the tip of his tongue, very tentatively. Since he'd never done it before, I didn't know whether he was hesitating to do that, or whether he was still teasing me. My question was answered when he suddenly began to thrust his tongue up my hole. I nearly screamed. I began to wiggle, to hump Sneaky against the bed, to laugh. It was amazing! I don't think Tim expected that much reaction, because he began to laugh, too. The vibration from his laughing caused a whole new set of sensations, and I nearly lost it. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or yell or what. Meanwhile, he was ramming his tongue in and out of my hole.
Finally, when I couldn't stand it any more, I said, "Sweetheart, I need something a lot longer than your tongue. Do me, baby, please!"
THEN he reached in the drawer for the lube. I rolled over on my back and pulled my knees up. After quickly smearing his cock with lube, he grabbed my ankles and put my legs over his shoulders. When he put Junior against my hole, I think I just sucked him right in. We looked each other in the eye as he began to slowly pump in and out. That's the greatest moment in the world this side of orgasm, I think, looking into his soul as we are connected cock to chute. Reaching up, I began to gently rub his nips with the backs of my fingers, which produced the sweetest smile!
As they say, it doesn't get any better than this! I lay there looking up at Timmy, at that pale skin, those incredibly green eyes, his still-damp hair darker than usual, and a few beads of sweat beginning to form on his upper lip. I just wanted to eat him up!
His dick wasn't big enough to give me any discomfort, but it was big enough to hit my button, again and again. I don't know how long that went on. Forever? Not long enough! Eventually, though, I could tell he was about to come. I reached for my own cock. He pushed my hands away, grabbed Sneaky with both his hands, and began to pump in rhythm with his thrusting in and out of me.
Finally, his eyes glazed over, he stopped pumping my cock, gripping it tightly instead, threw his head back, gave a long groan, and unloaded inside me. That was all I needed. As he held Sneaky in both his hands, I shot right into his face. Then some of it fell onto my belly. And then there was a stream of cum running down his fingers.
Seeming to come back into this world, he looked at me, again with that sweet smile. As Junior grew limp, Tim pulled out of me, let go of Sneaky, and just collapsed onto my chest. We lay there, spent and happy, for I don't know how long. We were a cummy mess, but neither of us cared.
Finally, I sighed, stretched, and asked, "Where'd you learn to do that, babe?"
"I don't know. I think you just inspire me."
He rolled over and lay on his back beside me. We stayed like that for a while. Then I propped up on one elbow and began to run my fingers through his fantastic auburn hair.
"In all the excitement I forgot to ask how dinner went last night with Stan."
He chuckled.
"What?" I asked.
"You kept insisting that I'd love Stan. Well, Cedric, I almost didn't."
"Love him?"
"Yeah."
"How could you not love Stan?"
"Oh, I do, now. I think he's amazing. But he asked so many questions I felt turned inside out. I was beginning to be pretty irritated with him. His personality is so overwhelming that I began to feel he was buying me off with an expensive meal so he could find out all about me."
"And?" I asked.
"And he was. But when I showed him that I thought he was being pushy, he backed off and apologized. Very sincerely, I think. His questions really were probing, though. I felt as if I were on the witness stand. He'd have been great as a trial lawyer."
"Tell me about the questions, Tim," I asked.
"He wanted to know about my education, my parents, my religious views, my prior sex life . . . ."
I was beginning to get a little pissed with Stan. He didn't have any right to ask Tim all that stuff. I sure didn't know that's what he had in mind when he set up the dinner.
"Tim, would you mind just giving me a blow-by-blow of the evening?"
He smiled and said, "I'd rather just give you a blow-job. But here's what happened."
My little lover has a fantastic memory. He fed it all back to me in detail. He ended by telling me about the kiss.
"After all those nosy questions, Pops had the nerve to kiss you? I can't believe it! And I think I'm jealous, too. He's never kissed me!"
Tim smiled and asked, "Are you jealous because he kissed me or because he never kissed you?"
I had to think about that. "A little of both, I guess," I said, chuckling.
"Well, lover, you don't have anything to be jealous about so far as I'm concerned. I admit I was overwhelmed by him, but YOU are my main man, and don't you forget it."
"Oh," I asked, "and how did you react to his kiss?"
"Well, you have to remember that he also reached down and squeezed my thigh when he was finished. I was rock hard and leaking and out of breath. I may be 26, but I ain't dead."
"I guess I'm going to have to keep an eye on you two. But I've had more than one hard on when I've been with Pops. He just has that effect on people. I imagine the women get their panties moist when he's around, too."
"If you promise to keep this a secret, I'll tell you something."
"Hey, li'l stud, you know I will if you ask me to."
"OK. Your advisor was at Stefan's. From the way she smiled and waved at Stan, I'd say maybe her panties were good and moist."
"Funny, I didn't know she knew Stan. I wonder how those two ever met. Like I said, though, he probably turns the ladies on, too, even an old gal like Dr. Fairchild. But we're getting off the track here. I'm really burned that he gave you such a third degree. Honestly, Tim, I didn't have any idea he was going to do that when I called you. If I had known what he was up to, I wouldn't have gone along."
"Relax, Ced. I like Stan. He has his vulnerable side, too, you know."
"Oh, did he tell you about that Leigh bastard?"
"Yep."
"Yeah, Stan's been hurt, but I still don't like what he did."
"Sweetheart, Stan was looking out for you. He didn't want you to be hurt the way Leigh hurt him. He loves you. He didn't know diddly about me until that dinner we had together, but he knows what a treasure you are. I honor him for that."
"Well, I love Stan, too. And he really was down for a while after Leigh left him. But he might have come on a little less strong with you, baby."
"It's ok, lover, just cut him some slack, please?"
"Ok. SOME slack, maybe."
We decided that we couldn't put off showering any longer, so we went back to the bathroom. This time it wasn't quite so sexy. Of course, we did soap each other up, and we did get hard again. But we were hungry, so we didn't follow through on our arousal.
After drying off and dressing, we went out for ribs. I couldn't believe what he did. He picked a rib up by the end, stuck it in his mouth, and began to suck on it. He looked me right in the eye as he did it. He looked just like he did when he was sucking on Sneaky, and I broke up. People were looking at us to see what was funny. So, for the rest of the meal, when no one was looking, we pretended the ribs were each other's cocks. It's a good thing our waitperson had brought us lots of napkins!
When we finished that messy but hilarious supper, he went back to his apartment, and I went to mine. Mark had been seeing a lot of a new girlfriend lately, and he was out somewhere with her. I was glad, for I had a phone call to make.
[Transcript of phone call] S: Hello?
C: Stanley.
S: Is that you, Ced?
C: Yeah.
S: Why so formal? You've never called me Stanley. You
pissed with me, babe?
C: Majorly.
S: OK. Out with it. What have I done?
C: Shit, Stan, I can't believe you'd ask that. What haven't
you done? I've just got Tim in my life, and I'm afraid
you're going to scare him off. I gotta remind you
what Tim's been through lately? Two weeks ago he was
forcibly jacked off, gotten high on something,
made to pose for humiliating pictures, and then forced to
suck Chaz and be fucked by Trey. Then Sunday morning he broke
down and cried when I told him it was all over and that he
could have the disk with the pictures on it.
S: I know all that, babe.
C: And you don't have any idea how vulnerable he is now?
How could you take him out
for what was supposed to be a nice dinner and put him
through that kind of interrogation?
S: Hey, Ced, . . .
C: No, Stan, you just listen, OK?
S: OK.
C: And then, after asking all sorts of personal questions,
things you had no right to pry into, you had the nerve to
tell him how to dress. And then you kissed him and felt
him up? Stan, you know I love you, man. I just can't imagine
you doing something so cold, so -- manipulative. What were
you thinking about?
S: Whoah, Ced. I think I can explain, babe, if you'll calm
down.
C: OK, Pops. I'm listening.
S: What does Trey call Tim?
C: You mean, "The Iceman"?
S: Yup. And Mark tells me that Trey also created another
metaphor, something about a sleeping lion?
C: Yeah.
S: Well, I think your Tim is a lot tougher than you give
him credit for. Now that I've seen him, I can understand why
you just want to pick him up and mother him. He's adorable.
Love that hair and those emerald eyes. Plus, there's something
very vulnerable about your little prof. But I also found
out the other night that Tim's a pretty impressive guy,
despite his size and his youthful appearance. He gave
back as good as he got.
C: Yeah?
S: Yeah.
C: So what was the inquisition all about, anyway?
S: Look, young Cedric, you know how much I love Mark and
you. Trey and Chaz, too, for that matter. I've been able to
feel easy about my boys being there at the university because I
knew you were all looking out for each other.
C: Uh huh.
S: OK. Suddenly, Trey and Chaz and even Mark are into
something that infuriates you. Then I find out that you are,
as Mark said, totally in love with a professor and that he had
more or less moved into all your lives.
C: Go on.
S: Do you seriously think that I wouldn't check out this
guy? I mean, you and Mark know about my experience with
Leigh. I still hurt over that. Ced, I just couldn't let
something like that happen to you.
C: I see that. But did you have to come on so strong?
S: Well, you know me. That's my way. And I don't think Tim really
minded. He seemed sincere when he thanked me and told me he'd
had a great time. And, babe, he had a major woodie when he got
out of the car.
C: Better not go there, Stan.
S: [Laughing.] Don't be jealous babe. He's all yours. He
told me he wanted to hang onto you for the rest of his life if
he could. And that was what I really wanted to know. Tim's
tough, he's very smart, he loves you. And he's very sexy. I think
you are in good hands, so to speak. But I told him I'd
have his balls if he ever hurt you.
C: [Laughs.] You stay away from his balls, Stan, or you'll
answer to me!"
S: Now that I've met Tim, I want you to know that I think
you guys are lucky to have him in your lives. He needs to share
in the love you have for one another, and he's going to be a wise
and steady influence on you studs.
C: Whew! I might have known you'd have it all figured out,
Pops. Sorry I came on so strong.
S: No problem. So. How's Mark?
C: He's great. I imagine he'll call you soon. I know he
likes to stay in touch with his Pops.
S: Yeah, tell him I'd like to hear from him when he has
time. Now, Cedric. How are you?
C: Oh, I forgot to tell you. Tim broke off his engagement.
I've got to say I'm relieved about that.
S: How'd that go?
C: I guess she wasn't as upset as he thought, like she'd seen
it coming.
S: Well, he did the right thing.
C: [Laughs.] With a big nudge from you.
S: Anyway, it's done. And everything else is OK?
C: Man, I'm so great! You wouldn't believe what Tim just
did to me!
S: Hey, don't tell me. You and he need to keep some things
private, you know.
C: Yeah, I guess you're right. But it was fantastic.
S: I take it the little guy is a quick learner.
C: Oh, man, is he!
S: Well, C.J., I'm glad you called. I don't want
misunderstandings to come between us.
C: Yeah, Pops, I feel better, too. Oh, here's Mark. You
want to talk to him?
S: Great. Put him on, please.
C: OK. Bye, Stan.
S: Bye, Ced.
M: Hey, Pops!
S: Mark, how are you babe?
M: Great. You OK?
S: Super. Now, what's this you were saying on your last
email about this great chick you've met?
M: Oh, Lori? She's fantastic. She's from Germany, here
majoring in American history. And she's gorgeous!
S: So, young `un, when do I get to meet the fantastic Lori?
M: Maybe she and I could come over next weekend, either
Saturday or Sunday.
S: Either day is fine. If you come on Sunday, I'll go to
early church and be free for the rest of the day.
M: That's great! I'll check with her and let you know.
S: Yeah, Mark, do that. Now . . . .
TREY:
Well, I have to say that I was pretty surprised when Chaz stormed out of the apartment the other night. OK, so I shouldn't have read the damned letter. But I think he overreacted, and I was pissed with him. Later, though, I was worried when he didn't come back, and I couldn't sleep. It was after three when I heard him tiptoe in. I was relieved that he had made it home, but I was still pissed with him. I closed my eyes and, soon after, went to sleep.
After practice the next day, Ced and I bumped into each other at the gym. We stopped for burgers and then came back to our building. He was going to study for a while before going over to Tim's, and I decided I'd better hit the books too.
Chaz's door was closed when I got home, so I knew he was in. I was sitting in the living room reading with some soft rock on the stereo when he came down the hall in a towel. I was going to say something, but a hoarse, "Shaddup, not now!" stopped me, and he disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Slamming doors had become his habit lately. Then I heard the shower start. He was obviously still ticked about that letter.
Chaz had looked like the ugly older brother of Frankenstein's monster. Did I really want to face that? I thought I'd do my own vanishing act, give him time to cool down a bit. Yeah, definitely. Right now he probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I put on my shoes and was just about to slip into my jacket when I heard, "Oh, no, you don't, buddy!"
Well, shit! Sighing, I turned around to see a dripping Chaz with a towel around his waist. It was a delicious sight, but he still looked angry. And I was still not too happy with him, either.
"Trey, me and you, we gotta talk."
"Yeah, I know." And I did know. I'd been wanting to have it out with him, but I didn't particularly want to face him in the mood he was in. He was obviously ready for a confrontation.
He plunged right in. "Why the fuck did you have to go and read that letter? You weren't supposed to see that!"
Trying to stay calm, I said, "Chaz, I explained that last time. I guess you're right, I had no business reading it, but aren't you over-reacting?"
"Damn right you didn't," he said. "And, no, I'm NOT over- reacting. Now look, I'm not gonna stand here and argue with you in a towel. Do you think you can stay put long enough for me to throw on something else?"
Me stay put? He was the one who'd flounced out of here, who'd stayed out till 3:00! "Yeah, I'll be here." I turned off the music system, put my jacket back in the closet, took off my shoes, and waited on the couch.
He came back soon wearing cargoes and a t-shirt. He was barefoot. I always marveled at the size of his feet. And that reminded me of something I couldn't afford to think about right then. He padded into the kitchen, took a couple of beers out of the fridge, and brought one to me. I wasn't supposed to be drinking beer, what with training and all, but I figured what the hell. I was having a confrontation with my best friend. Refusing the brew would have been like a slap in the face, and I didn't want to make matters worse. "Thanks," I said. I took a swallow and set the bottle on the coffee table in front of me.
He sat in one of the chairs, facing me.
He picked up the television guide from the coffee table, riffled through it without really looking at it, and put it back.
"Trey, it's just that - sometimes I need to write things down to see them clearly. And, dammit, the stuff in that letter was pretty personal. But, well, shit, man, you've been my best bud since freshman year. I would've gotten around to talking with you about all this eventually. I guess I want you to know some of what's griping my ass. But, jeez, I wish you would of let me do it when I was ready instead of reading my private stuff like some goddam snoop!"
"Now wait just a goddam minute, Greeley! You just said we are best friends. Don't you get that I care about you? Don't you get that I've been worried because I know something's worrying you, and you won't tell me? Don't I have a right to be a little pissed that you don't seem to trust me enough to talk about whatever it is?"
He looked at me, more bewildered now than angry. "You've never talked to me that way before, Tiger."
"You moron, you've never had me this upset before. I'm sorry I yelled at you. But, dammit, Chaz, you know you can be straight with me, so why don't you just fuckin' tell me what's got you so riled up?"
He took a deep breath and let it all out. He looked like a little boy, and I felt shitty that I had come on so strong. I just wanted to hug him.
"It's not just you, man. I kind of feel like an outsider right now. Us four guys have always been pretty tight. Now Mead has barged in and more or less taken over."
"So what's really eating you is that you're jealous of Tim?"
"Yeah, I guess. But that's not all."
"Chaz, are you mad at me because I hid my gay side from you all this time?"
"I guess I am. If Ced could trust me, why couldn't you, Tiger?"
"Ced's gay. Just gay. I've been having straight sex since high school and loving it. I've been stifling the other side of me all this time. I haven't wanted to admit to myself that men sometimes turn me on, much less tell my best friend. Can't you understand that?"
He thought about that for a while. "Yeah, I guess I can see the difference. I sure can understand why a guy who's successful with the women would just sort of hang on to that and tell himself that's all he needs."
"That's it exactly," I said, trying not to sound surprised. "Then, when I had this major reaction to Tim, I thought I could squelch it. After I found out how Ced felt about him, I pretty much had to forget my feelings - you know, for our buddy's sake. Besides, it was - safer - somehow to put a damper on them. But when you came up with the idea of getting revenge on Tim for Ced's F, I saw a chance to do something I'd been wanting to do all semester."
"OK, I get that. But fuck, Trey, there is such a thing as loyalty." He seemed angry again.
"Yeah, sure," I said, but I didn't know what he was getting at.
"Look, I know I screwed up with that whole revenge thing. I should have seen that it was wrong to do that to Mead. I've admitted all that. What I haven't told anybody is that while we were making him suck me and you were pronging him, I was beginning to feel sorry for him."
Interesting. Macho, hard-assed Chaz? Yeah, I could see that. I am probably the only one around who knows about his softer side.
He continued, "Then, when I had to stand there and watch you take it up the ass from Tim, man, I really felt sorry for you. It was one thing watching you do it to Tim. I mean, I didn't actually know the guy. But you, Trey, you're . . . well, you know."
Wow! I started to thank him for that, but he held up his hands to stop me from saying anything.
"THEN," he said, "I saw the look on your face. I realized you were digging what he was doing, and then it came to me that you had been in on the whole thing! Man, I felt so, what's the word? Betrayed? By you. My best buddy. Those guys scammed me, dammit, and you, my fuckin' best friend, helped!"
The big guy really looked hurt. My anger with him went away. I wanted to go over and hug him, but this was not the moment to do that.
I had never thought of it like that. Maybe he was right to feel that way. And now the whole thing about Tim made sense. We had robbed Chaz of his pride. Big, assertive Chaz had been in some ways the ringleader of our foursome, and I had been in cahoots with them against him. This whole thing was even more complicated than I had expected. Chaz had been the one to get the original idea, but how stupid we all were to go along with it. And now, Tim had been hurt and humiliated, Ced had been furious with us, and it had all backfired on Chaz bigtime. To make matters worse, he was hurt not only because I hadn't told him about my gay side, but also because I had helped Tim and Ced in their payback on him.
"Chaz, I'm sorry, man. I've been so busy trying to process everything that's been going on with all five of us, that I haven't been tuned in to you. I've tried to explain why I didn't tell you how I felt about Tim. But I don't know what to say about the other thing, you know, about you feeling betrayed. I can see how you might feel that way."
He got up, picked up our empty bottles, and took them to the kitchen. He came back with two fresh ones, handing me one.
Taking the beer, I continued. "I have to tell you, though, a lot of this stuff you're feeling is your own doing. Big guy, you opened up a real can of worms when you came up with that idea about revenge for Ced's F. I don't want to sound like our parents, but I've always been taught that we have to be ready to accept the consequences of our actions. Maybe none of us looked far enough down the road when we decided to do all that to Tim. So, buddy, shit has happened. I guess we just have to live with it."
He thought about that for a while. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Fuck, man!! This whole thing happened because we wanted to help Ced."
I had to remind myself that my own reasons hadn't been that pure .
He paused to take a swallow of beer. "You know, I'm not used to worrying about things like this, man. Do you think I'm acting like some damn girl?"
"Chaz, even a stud jock like you is allowed to have feelings. It's OK!"
He gave me his goofy smile and said, softly, "Thanks, bro."
"So, tell me, are you going to give Tim that letter?"
He seemed to be reading the label on his beer bottle for a while. Then he asked, "What good would it do?"
"Well, it would let Tim, and Ced of course, know how you feel."
Then he surprised me again.
"Trey, can you ignore the hots you have for Mead long enough to tell me what you think of him otherwise? The four of us have been tight for a while. How much are things going to change now that he and Ced are together? Is he going to be hanging around this building all the time? Is he going to horn in when the four of us plan to do something together?"
"I honestly don't know what's going to happen," I said. "I do know we're going to have to share Ced with Tim. And having Tim around might cause some changes in our group. But would that be so bad?"
"I dunno. Some of this is our fault. Hell, MY fault. It was MY idea to fuck with Mead, and that little scheme came back to bite us in the ass, didn't it? Hey, that's what put Ced and Mead together, isn't it? So I guess it's me that brought the little runt into our group." He paused a minute, looking thoughtful. "I didn't know how Ced felt about Mead. You did, I guess, but you didn't tell me."
"He asked me not to. He was embarrassed about it at the time."
"OK, dude. I get all that. What I'm saying is it looks like all these fuckin' things I've been complaining about are my own goddam fault."
He looked at me and grinned. "And you WERE going to come out to me eventually, I imagine. I gotta admit I thought for a day or two that I was surrounded by fa--, uh, by gays. But you and Ced are still the same guys you always were. And I have to admit, Mead ain't such a bad guy, once you get over the fact that he's pushing 30 and a prof."
Then he got an even broader grin on his face, and I knew the old Chaz was back.
"Besides, "he said, "who could be threatened by a guy with a five-inch dick?"
(Thanks for sticking with me. Chapter 11 will follow in about two weeks. --Tim)