She was a strikingly beautiful woman. She had all the beauty of long auburn hair, piercingly light green eyes, and a smile that melts away at your heart as not only to show her kindness but also the power of the woman deep inside. I had met her at my interview for the company that I had been trying to get a job at for several years prior.I finally had an interview and I was interviewing before a panel of two managers for a matter of 20 minutes before the woman that would change my life would make her entrance to up the panel to an intimidating threesome. She introduced herself as Tara, only to find out later in the interview that it was a mere modest introduction as she actually deserved to be introduced at Dr. Tara, as everyone else in the company had called her that. I remember being intimidated by her education and trying very hard to pay attention to the words that followed as my mind would continue to wonder what a genius she must really be to be working in the financial department of a Fortune 500 company and having the time to complete her doctorate. Educated people always intimidate me, but they are also the only people that I seem to trust when it comes right down to it. For me, a mind melting of senses and feelings can be more sexually powerful than any single touch that a person could give me. Although I am a woman myself, I personally ached for the touch of another beautifully sensitive and intelligent woman. Low and behold, there in the interview sitting before me was the woman that would soon make all of my senses rage uncontrollably.
The gut-wrenching pacing of the hours to follow after the interview was complete, would come to an enjoyable conclusion when I would receive a call from Dr. Tara telling me to start on Monday. I thought for sure, that I was unable to keep up with the intellect in the room and that Dr. Tara would not find me to be up to par. Far behind the others in schooling, I probably wouldn't have even questioned their decline if it was in fact a rejection call. Somehow fate had made its mark and I had charmed them in the only way that I knew how, with my eagerness to learn and explore, and my genuine integrity.
The first day of work was as uneasy as any first day of anything new for me. I passed out my "Thank You" cards to the three interviewers that hired me. Dr. Tara accepted her card graciously, yet never said another word about it after she read it. I though for sure it would spark an interest or some sort of conversation, but it didn't. I remember thinking this was my queue to keep myself in line. She's not my direct boss, but none-the less, she's still a boss. Still...it was a bit disappointing. I wanted her to see me for who I was, and for how grateful I was to be given a chance. Moreover, I think I really just wanted to create a spark.
As the days went on and more training questions arose, my interactions with Dr. Tara were starting to be more frequent. This was my chance to prove myself as genuine in my feelings and worthy of my position. I remember sitting in her office for a meeting with 2 other people talking about auditing when I glanced up at her diploma displayed on the wall. I remember the feeling of intimidation running from my brain, through my heart, and into the pit of my stomach when I read the words "Doctor of Psychology" on her diploma. Not only is this woman a genius in the financial field, but she has a PhD in an entirely different field. Psychology? Wow! I could hardly speak or even find myself worthy to look into her eyes after reading that.
Days went by and our interactions became friendlier and more magical. There were playful emails jotting back and forth, while my curiosity for her was growing uncontrollably. At some points, it was getting the best of me and sparking occasional personal questions that she didn't seem to mind answering. I was falling for a 50 year old woman, that was divorced and living 2,000 miles away from her ex-husband and daughter. I, being 32 years old, would never expect or assume she could reciprocate the feelings, or even assume that another woman could be pleasing to her. Yet, the playful giggles and chance happenings upon one another in the coffee room were becoming overwhelming inside of me. I had to carefully explore this without ruining my career, or without jeopardizing a possible budding friendship that could mean more to me than my seemingly silly "crush". However, I could not stop telling myself that she is a woman with needs too...and that I could help her meet those needs even if only for a few times. I knew that I could, for just one moment of my life, be the one with the power if I could make that happen.
I eagerly requested her presence at the Companyy Picnic so that I could have some "outside of work" alone time with her. I needed to explore this possibility within my own mind and I was feeling that it was starting to be mutual. Although the first response was not an extremely positive one, she did change her mind and agree to meet me there. My heart was pumping blood faster than my body could process it. I think the majority of the blood found its way downstairs to a throbbing sexual organ. No, I would not, and I could not take care of that myself. I needed to wait, for the true builder of these senses to be the one to release me.
The picnic went well and the conversation was light until the pain set in when she started to share memories leading up to her divorce. I knew he had hurt her in physical ways but it was the emotional ways that tugged at my heart strings. I could not say it, but I knew it...that I could never hurt her that way...or any way for that matter. I placed my hand swiftly over the top of hers as a gesture for her to begin to trust in that. Such a beautiful and intelligent woman...and undoubtedly someone had to take advantage of that. Isn't that just like a man? I thought to myself. To take and take until there's nothing left without even a thought of fulfilling the needs of the other. I started to realize that the depth of our conversation was beginning to take its toll. She suddenly stood up and asked if I'd like to take a walk with her. So we walked, and we talked, and we scaled the outer skirts of some of her pain until. We finally rounded a corner where I noticed that we were alone. The conversation came to a halt and I pulled her body close to mine and just held her tight. Her head lay just above my left collar bone and my hand was rested on the back of her head. I subtly started stoking her hair, trying not to shock her. I felt a bit of resistance at first and then I heard a few sobs, and suddenly the resistance turned into reciprocation. She closed both of her arms around my back and I felt her body quiver as she continued to let out her sorrow. I knew at that moment, no matter what I wanted from her and no matter what my feelings were toward her...I had to be responsible for this trust that she had just bestowed on me. I would not be a person who would take advantage of that. I kissed her on her cheek, wiped the tears from her face with my hand and told her that everything would be fine, and that no one could hurt her anymore. I assured her that at least for that moment, she was safe there with me and no one else had to know anything we were discussing. We finally shared a few smiles as my attempt to get her to perk up was finally working. It was a very memorable moment for the both of us. One that I knew we would never forget.
Later that week after some much needed space and a few passing smiles, Dr. Tara came by my office and asked if I'd like to have dinner with her that Friday night. I certainly jumped at the chance and accepted the offer. I was gleaming inside. She told me that she just wanted to thank me for being a friend when she most needed one. I was just honored that she would let me be that person for her.
That week had to be one of the longest weeks of my life. I just couldn't wait for Friday night to come. After a few more average working days and working conversations...Friday finally came. "See you tonight then"? she whispered as she went past my office door. "Sure thing Dr. Tara" I said with a smile as I gathered my things.
I pulled up at her apartment and headed to the door with a bottle of wine, only to find Dr. Tara standing at the door already with a glass of wine in each hand. She proceeded to tell me that she makes her own wine from scratch. It was indeed great wine, but a single glass of her homemade wine packed the punch of 3 glasses of my store bought brand. I think she knew this...and this was why she was purposely filling my glass after what seemed to be every sip that I took. Soon the night of intimidation and mixed feelings turned to one of ease and comfort. Was it the wine, or the warmth of the company? Maybe it was the perfect combination of both.
After diner she had me sit with her on the couch. She reached over and grabbed my hand tight as she explained her actions on the day of the picnic. She told me she had never trusted these stories to anyone before and that she was grateful to be able to trust me with them. She also assured me that her moments of weakness would never prevail and that she was a strong woman in every sense of the meaning. I believed her without a doubt and I assured her I didn't think any less of her, rather the opposite. She leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips. She whispered into my ear, the words that I never expected any woman of her stature to ever say. She said "my strength can handle the fear for the both of us...for what is about to happen here tonight." How did she know that? How did she know everything I wanted and everything I feared all at once? She just did. She was absolutely amazing. The passionate kiss that followed was the bandage for all of my doubts. I knew, for many reasons, but mostly for the pain that she had been through...that I would not be a leader in any of the events that I was secretly hoping would take place on the couch that night. The only move I would make is one that I knew was welcomed beforehand.
After several more calming words, Dr. Tara grabbed my hand again. She set her wine glass down on the coffee table and leaned over with another deep and passionate kiss. Our tongues explored the tastes of each others as our hands came unclasped in search of an embrace. The rush of the moment seemed to last forever, yet the yearning of her touch was the biggest tease of my life. I wanted to touch her breasts and to feel the security of being in her arms. Not surprisingly, right after, her arm came around my back guiding my hand to her breast. My entire hand was now on her right breast over her shear purple blouse and her thin satin bra. As I cupped her right breast in my hand, I forced my thumb over her hardened nipple. I flicked back and forth though the layers of clothing constrictions and still managed to bring forth a meaningful moan. She reached under my shirt and lifted my bra over my breasts. Her hands explored every curve and hard tip of my breasts, sending waves of pleasure rushing through my body and between my thighs. I carefully undressed her until she was fully naked on top, still leaving the wonderment of her bottom half covered for further exploration. I gently laid her back on the couch with my hand still on her breast squeezing with pleasure and softly tugging at her nipples. She was in an awkward position, but she managed to reach over and pull my shirt and bra over my head in one swoop. Tossing it aside, she then guided my breast to her mouth. As her tongue danced in circles I arched with her suctions. Several moments after my mouth had explored her nipples, I watched her face again as it plummeted into my chest. I stroked her long auburn hair waiting for a glimpse of her light green eyes. When she finally looked up at me with her tender yet powerful smile, I felt a finger tracing my crevice and the pressure was increasing with every passing motion. After several ecstatic moments of almost climatic touches, I heard her say, "It's time to play hard now". I leaned back as I watched her slide her skirt and panties off and toss them across the room. I took a momentary glance at her body...and in amazement I fell silent. She was so beautiful laying there bare skinned on a leather couch. Her age did not show on any part of her body. Not that I would have cared if it did, because nothing could have tainted this kind of passion. I had to tell her how beautiful she was, and moreover...I had to show her. I ripped my pants down and lay over her body. I placed my hands between her thighs and began to explore her hairy mound as our breasts were touching on another. She stroked my hair and softly kissed me on every part of my face. It was time, I thought...it was time for me to take the initiative. Just like my interview, I had to prove my eagerness to learn and explore and show her my genuine integrity. I slid my finger slowly from the tip of her opening until I found her hard wet pearl. It was so silky and hot as my finger lunged in playful circles around her clit. Her hips turned in motion as I continued to play. Every so often I would spread her lips back exposing her spot of joy and she would let out a sweet little whimper. I rubbed her for only a few seconds before her tongue had found my mouth again and the moans were transferred from her mouth into mine. Soon to follow, her finger found my throbbing hot spot. "Baby girl...you are so good" she proclaimed as she continued to rub me faster and faster. Her finger would slide to the tip of my vagina and back, but never inside. "Oh, Doc...you are amazing...this is amazing!" I gasped as she thrust over my clitoris in swift and pleasingly hard circles. Her mouth came apart from mine when she whispered in my ears "are you ready? Oh, honey!" she took a long hard breath..."are you ready to cum with me?" "Yes!" I gasped back. She guided my head to her breasts and held me tight against them as she circled my clitoris faster and faster and faster and faster. I continued to rub her harder and faster mimicking her every move that she was doing to me...until our moans were in rhythm. I felt her harden even more on my finger as I raced over her clit. Our moans grew louder yet mine were still being muffled by her tender nipple placed ever so perfectly in my mouth. Her embrace was the strongest and tightest I had ever felt. We were exploding...by one another's hands...and it was the most wonderful feeling to be there with her on that couch, in every way possible. Emotionally, mentally, physically...virually every possible way. Simultaneously we both came and the fluids warmed our hands as the circles of pleasure drew to a slowing conclusion. The embrace of her arms let up slightly and guided or mouths to each others. "You were so wonderful baby girl" she whispered in between breaths. I told her she was beautiful as I lay exhausted in her arms. She whispered her wisdom on the psychology of love to me as we lay content in each other arms. "This is love, and it is never anything to be ashamed of. What we shared here together was brave, for it is often never even explored...and in reality, that is where the shame should lie."