Disclaimer: I don't know BSB or anyone connected to them in anyway. I don't know their sexual preferences, this is just a story. I made it all up in my own little twisted world. Well, it's not that twisted but that's not the point.
Warning: I don't know where this is going, or what will happen. I've had this story on my mind for the past couple of months. There may be sex, but if there is it won't be in the first chapter. So if that's what you're looking for you might want to look in another place. Now I'm going to try and not use any super natural beings. I may fail but hell trust me when I say I can't help it.
Authors Note: Well I'm back and on my BSB kick, and I've left for other bands alone. Now that most likely won't last for long so don't get your hopes up. If you have time and like this story check out some of my other stories. I'll leave a small list at the end of this chapter. I don't have an editor anymore, so most likely there will be a few mistakes. I would also like to add that if you have the time to please e-mail me. I love feed back and in some ways it helps get the next chapter out. Ok I'm going to explain my symbols and my way of writing. I write in the first person point of view, so to tell the story better I switch characters. I use these *** to do that and I also use those symbols to start off the chapter. I will put the name of the characters name in between the symbols when I start a chapter. When I change the character in the middle of the chapter or any part of the chapter the name will be at the end of the symbols. As of right now those are the only symbols I use. If I add more symbols I will explain, now on with the story I hope you enjoy it.
Brian
I woke up with someone wrapping their arms around my lower body. I also noticed that the sun was starting to rise, and whoever was holding me moaned. I turned over to see Ash, well I thought it was Ash anyway. It was hard to tell sometimes, so I looked for any tattoos. There weren't any so I knew who it was that had a firm grip around my waist. I smiled to myself and thought about myself and Ash becoming a couple and living a normal life. I had thought about this with other people so many times it was really starting to get sad. I would see a guy in the crowd and instantly I would wonder if he were the one. So throughout the concert I would day dream as much as I could, like I was doing now. Only this time the guy I was dreaming about was only inches away. I reached out and slowly moved the hair off his forehead. Just above his right eye brow there was a small scar. My finger was tracing it before I could stop myself, lucky for me it didn't wake him up. I slowly got out of the bed accidentally pulling the cover off of Ash, I got a nice little show. I also found that he and Nick were the same down below as well, an interesting sight. It was starting to make me wonder how two people could look so much alike without being related. I quickly pulled the cover back over Ash and moved toward the door.
"Brian, is that you man, I thought it was you last night, but I was so tired when I got in." I looked back over at him and smiled as he sat up and looked at me, he was so cute. "Thanks for last night I really needed the break, how did the concert go?" Slowly I walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge. "It went really well, Nick sang better than he has in a really long time. I guess we all owe that to you since you're helping him get back on his feet." He looked at me and shook his head slowly, then smiled lightly. "It's not me man, it's what I look like that helps him, nothing big really. I just wish he would stop putting up this nice front around me. I'm not blind, and I'm far from deaf, I forgot something last night. I came back and heard a little bit of what was said, thanks for defending me." The room felt really closed in just then as I looked into his eyes. "Then why on earth did you come back after hearing all that?" He looked toward the door then back to me, he had tears forming. "I have nothing else, not now anyway, I have Jade, but I don't want to live off her again. I gave up everything for this job, which I thought would be a fun adventure with friends. Plus there's the helping me with my career, I can't pass that up. So I'll stay knowing that I at least have one friend in the group, even if that isn't the one I thought it would be." His tears hadn't fallen, but they were so close that it broke my heart.
Ash shook his head a few times to regain some control over himself. "You should start getting ready the bus should be ready in an hour or so." Ash nodded as I walked out of his room, and back to my own. Kevin was waiting for me, and he looked far from happy as he sat on the bed. "Don't even start on me Kev, or so help me I'll knock your ass out." He looked up and smiled before he stood and opened his arms challenging me. "Don't worry nothing happened, I just fell to sleep in his room." I moved past him without looking into his eyes, while I gathered my things. "Brian, I'm not worried about you and Ash being together, not saying that you are that is. Listen all I wanted to say was use protection if you do anything with him. You don't know who's he's been with, or what he could have. I'm not saying that he has anything, I just worry about you, and I'd hate to lose you to some disease. To be honest I'm kind of hoping you and Ash get together, I'd like to see you happy for once." Kevin had left the room before I had a chance to respond. His worlds had touched my heart, and had been really unexpected. The last time I had been interested in a guy he had cased me for a week. I found out the hard way that he was right in a very short amount of time.
The guy I had been with was into hitting his boyfriends when he didn't get his way. He found out really quickly that if he hit, he got hit back hard and quick. That was the last time I had tried to date a guy while I was with the guys. It was really hard to cover up everything without losing anything we had. It was the reason I had gotten married to Leigh, she had been an angel for helping me out. She didn't even want any money for pretending to be my wife. We had been friends for a long time. She was also the first person I had come out to, and she couldn't have been any nicer. We had hugged, then she thanked me for trusting her with this information. Then everything had gone down and I needed a quick cover, she had been there for me. Now as I thought about everything that had taken place in the last couple of days I wondered if this was destiny. After getting everything together I sent my stuff to the bus. I walked back to Ash's room and knocked on the door lightly before entering. Ash was moving around the room like a bolt of lightening putting his stuff in his bags. When he was done he looked up at me and smiled before running into the bathroom. He came back out a few minutes later with his hair fixed and some nice clothing on. "I'm all ready to go, so where's the next stop on this wonderful little adventure?
I told Ash all the details while we walked down to the bus with some of his bags. The staff would take care of the rest of the bags that we had left behind. "So I'm going to meet Nick's Mom, why is it so important that she meets me?" To be honest I didn't really know, so I just tried to come up with the best explanation that I could. "She's really protective, so most likely she just wants to meet you." Ash nodded as he stepped onto the bus, he was smiling until he saw Nick. Instantly his face fell and turned to stone as he looked into Nick's eyes. "So what's next boss, a mall or something else maybe?" Nick looked confused for about half a second before he knew the truth behind the attitude change. "I don't know, maybe we could go to some place and grab a bite to eat, to get to know one another a little better. Then we can go and talk with my Mom so she'll stop freaking out." Ash nodded then found an open area when he could sit and draw his designs. Nick was trying to be nicer, but Ash wasn't having any of it since he had heard what he heard. I didn't really know how much he had really heard since he could have left at any moment. What was really starting to bother me was Nick's Mom, she was acting really odd. In all my time knowing her she had never gone out of her way to meet someone that worked with us. Let alone someone that Nick didn't think was a threat in anyway.
Once we got to our next destination I decided I was going to tag along with Nick and Ash. It had been a really bad idea since people started staring, but Ash took care of it really quickly. "Hi, I know this is a little strange, but you look so much like Nick Carter, well are you?" Ash stood up really quickly and smiled before taking her hand and kissing it. "I'm sorry lady, but there's this look alike contest at this hotel tomorrow that's why we're here. If you want I could pretend to be Nick Carter and sign something for you, no one would know the difference." His smile was so dark and full of evil intent it was a little scary to see. The woman on the other hand was backing away quickly, then took off running. Ash shook his ass and sat back down with the same dark smile on his face. "Hopefully that'll take care of all doubt that I'm anything more than just a look alike." The smile was still there, but his voice was filled with malice and sarcasm. "Listen I don't know what Brian told you, but he must have left some things out." Ash looked at Nick with total hatred bowling over. "No, I didn't have to hear anything from Brian, I heard it for myself. You see I left something behind, something I thought would help me hide who I was a little better. Well, I thought why not ask you if you wanted to meet up after the concert. Then we could head out, have some fun, get to know one another better."
"So I walk toward your room to knock on the door, only to hear you talking to Brian. I didn't want to interrupt so I waited for a second. Then I finally heard what you were saying, not what I thought I would hear. Then again I don't even see why I'm pretending that you're anything more than you are. You're a celebrity, I'm beneath you, my feelings don't matter to you. That's ok because now I see this as I should have seen it from the beginning. So what should I do now boss, maybe you'd like a back rub or something else, after all I'm only here to serve." Nick looked wounded, and I had no doubt that he was in fact hurt. Yet I couldn't defend him, he had it coming to him, so what could I really say? I looked down at my watch and noticed that Nick's Mom would be arriving shortly. "You know what guys, we should be heading back to the hotel. That way we can meet up with Jane and have that little talk." Nick just stood up and followed me out with Ash right behind us. The ride back to the hotel was in total silence, Nick would look at Ash every so often. Ash only looked forward his eyes were so cold I wondered if Nick could ever do the same thing. We walked into the hotel then up to Nick's room where his mother would be waiting. It was the way we had always had it set up so she wouldn't be mobbed. Upon entering the room Jane stood up and walked to her son hugging him.
When she backed away she looked at Ash who wouldn't lift his head. "So you're Ash, it's a pleasure to meet you." He looked up and offered her a kind smile and held his hand out. Only Jane looked to be frozen in her place as she looked into Ash's eyes. "My God, you look so much like Nick, it's simply amazing. Would you mind telling me where you were born, and your birth date?" Ash looked thrown off by the question, so he looked to me quickly then back to Jane. "I don't really know, I was adopted, so I don't really know anything about myself. I know that Jeff and Brenda would throw a party for me on October forth. It was Jeff's birthday so it was easier to throw one party instead of another some other time of the year. Since I didn't know my birthday anyway it was ok with me, sorry I can't tell you more." Jane had started shaking lightly as she had listened to him talk. "That's ok, would you mind if I asked you some more questions, that may be a little more personal?" Ash shrugged his shoulders and leaned against the door frame. "Why don't we have a seat on the bed, this could take a little time." Ash nodded and walked to the bed sitting down once he reached it. Jane walked over and sat beside him, her hands were shaking really badly. "Were your adopted parents nice to you, I mean they never hurt you did they?" I didn't really know where this was going, but it had me worried.
"No, they never hurt me, they were really good people, but weren't mine. I left them when I was teenager to start my own life. I don't know why, I just didn't feel like I belonged there. It was like no matter how hard I tried I just didn't fit in, I always felt that my family was somewhere else. I should shut up, hear I am pouring my heart out to you and I don't even know why. I just feel like I could tell you anything, it's really weird." Ash had once again started looking down at the ground. Jane had tears falling from her eyes, I guess she had been touched by his story. "Have you ever tried to find your mother, or father?" Ash looked over at her, it was the first time I had seen him cry. "No, the way I look at it is like this, if they didn't want me then, why would they want me now. I'd love to meet them and ask why they gave me up. I have so many questions I've asked myself so many times. Like why wasn't I good enough, why didn't they love me enough to keep me? Was there something wrong with me then, that isn't now? Then I ask myself why it hurts so much when I think about them." Ash's body had started shaking while he cried, this was killing me to watch. I wanted to reach out and help him, only I didn't know what would happen if I did. "None of it really matters, they didn't want me so why should I even care. It's obvious that they don't love me, but still it hurts that I'll never know the truth."
Jane had stood up and walked away with Ash's last comment. "Have you ever thought that maybe they did love you?" She turned back to Ash who was starting to get a little control over himself. "Yeah, that they gave me up so I would have a better chance at a good life. That doesn't change the fact that no matter what I didn't have a choice in the matter. I wouldn't have cared if I had to live on the streets, or in a shack or something like that. I would have loved to be with my family no matter the cost in life styles. I'm not angry with them if that's the reason, but still I'd like to know." Jane had regained a lot of control over herself as she went back to sitting beside Ash. "Is there anything you know about your real family, anything at all?" Ash smiled and slowly shook his head, and I wondered if I could live like that. Not knowing anything about my real life and my real family, not even knowing if I had another name. "Jeff and Brenda's last name was Lee, and Brenda's grandfathers name was Ashley, so they thought it would be cute to cut it in half. So my name is Ash Lee, cute and simple to remember since my real mother never named." Jane's head shot up and it looked like she was about to say something only she stopped herself. Nick had pushed himself against a wall while Ash and his mother had talked. He looked like he was about to have a nervous break down, only he was starting to look at Ash.
Nick stood up and moved to Ash's other side and sat down. Ash looked at him like he was just someone he didn't care about. "Listen man I'm really sorry for everything I said last night. I'm not going to tell you that I didn't mean it when I said it last night, but I don't mean it now. I would really like to get to know you and be your friend if you'll let me. It's just that most people that I've met and tried to start a friendship with always ended badly. I'm not use to talking to people on a face to face level, so I try not to. My only real friends are the guys and their families and my own family. If you could give me another chance I would love nothing more than to try and have a friendship, if nothing more." Ash had started smiling, then he reached over and hugged Nick for all he was worth. Jane had started crying at the site of her son hugging someone who looked just like him. I was happy to see that they had patched everything up, but Jane's tears were starting to bother me. I had never really seen her cry over something that wasn't all that important. Yeah it was important to Nick and maybe Ash, but I didn't understand why it was so important to Jane. There was something more going on but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Jane was acting really odd, only there wasn't a reason for it not now anyway.
*****Jane
I watched as my son hugged the other man that looked so much like himself. My mind had started racing when I had last spoken with Nick. Still I wasn't sure if this Ash was really the son I had given up. I had always managed to keep it a secret from everyone but his father. We had decided that we couldn't rise two boys at that point, so there was only one other opinion. We gave him up without a name or anything, hoping it would make it easier for someone to want him. Since that night I have never stopped thinking about my one huge mistake. Now as I look at Ash, I ask myself is this the one chance I had prayed for to make up for that choice. Every second I looked at him more doubt was cleared away. There was no way he couldn't be my son, so why hadn't I said anything to him yet. "Are you all right Jane, you look like you could use some water or something?" I looked over at Brian and smiled before standing up and leaving the room. I had to collect my thoughts and make a phone call. I needed to know that Ash's story was true, so I needed a back ground check on him. I called the boys management and got a little bit of information from them. Then I set everything in motion as I made my way back to Nick's room. I stopped and got a coke on the way so it wouldn't look to odd with my leaving the room.
Nick was the only one in his room when I entered, he looked upset. "What's going on Mom, what aren't you telling me?" I was a little taken back by his statement, but he had never been stupid. "Do you really want to know the truth, even if knowing it could change your life forever?" Nick slowly nodded and patted the bed beside him, so I sat down and took his hand in mine. "What I'm about to tell you only one other person knows, and we've kept it a secret since it happened. When you were born you had a twin brother, that we gave away. At the time we didn't have the money to take care of two little boys. We were going to tell you when you turned sixteen, but by then you were living your life. I didn't want to interfere with that and have you start looking for someone who could be dead. We tried to look for him, but we had really messed up with not giving him a name. We had made a lot of mistakes thinking it was for the best, but it wasn't. What this comes down to is simple, Ash may be you brother, then again he may not be. I'm looking into his story to see just how much of it's true, and if it is true, everything changes. Once I know he's mine, and it's no longer just a feeling in my heart I'm going to tell him." Nick was in shock as he released my hand and fell back onto the bed.
*****Ash
I had let everything go since Nick had made up for his comments that night. Brian and I had decided to go swimming, we had invited Nick but he turned us down. He had really good reasons since he wanted to talk to his mother. When Nick walked into the private pool area I was surprised. "Hey man, the water is great come on in and join us." Nick was looking at me like I was some kind of ghost, or maybe something else. "Is everything ok man, you look like you've just seen a ghost?" Nick smiled slowly then took a seat on one of the chairs. "I'm fine Ash, thanks for asking man, do you mind if I ask you some questions?" I didn't know what was going on but I think they were trying to break me. "Fire away Nick, just don't ask if I'm a top or a bottom, it would really ruin the mood." I couldn't help myself, the words had left my mouth before I knew what I was saying. Still it got Nick laughing while he slipped down to his trunks and stepped into the water. "Did you ever wonder if you had a twin somewhere out there?" I had, but it wasn't likely and I knew that. "I think you're the closest thing I have to a twin Nick, hope that doesn't bother you." Nick shook his head and smiled before turning away to look at Brian. "Brian could we talk alone real quick I need to tell you something my Mom told me." Brian nodded and got out of the pool with Nick and walked away slowly.
I shrugged my shoulders and started swimming laps until they came back. Brian looked like he was in some sort of shock, he looked like Nick when he had first came in. I tried my best to ignore it, it wasn't my business and it should be my business. There was this feeling in my chest that they had been talking about me. I got out of the pool and laid down on a bench and waited for one of them to speak to me. It didn't happen so I went back to my room without speaking to either of them. I took a shower and dressed then sat down and started drawing. Time passed and we soon moved on to the next city. Two days had passed and no one had talked to me, not even a good morning. Everyone was keeping their distance like I had the plague or something. I didn't mind it gave me time to finish Kevin's outfit and draw many more for the others. Jane had returned home shortly after finishing her talk with Nick, which had me confused. I was only guessing but she must have not liked me so now no one liked me. I had to keep telling myself that this was just a job and it would pay off in the end. I left Kevin's outfit on his door one night then started on one that I had in mind for Brian. Even if they didn't like me anymore that didn't mean I had to hate them. There weren't lying to me so that showed they had some kind of respect for me.
So I continued to make my clothing and leave it at their doors at night. In a way it was my way of reaching out hoping they would forgive me for whatever I did. Now I was down to making my last outfit for them after this I was giving up. Then I was going to head back home and forget all about this. I could stay with Jade for a month or two until I got back on my feet then I would be fine. There was someone knocking on my door so I answered it, but it wasn't anyone I thought it would be. "Jade, how did you get here, I'm so happy to see you." I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, she was laughing lightly. "Nick called me up and asked if I could make time to come and visit. He said something about you needing me here or something so I came." I was so confused but it didn't take long to get it. "I don't understand what's happening with them but none of them even talk to me. I was just thinking about calling you and asking you if I could stay with you. You know until I get on my feet again and then I'll be out of your hair." Jade looked sad, which confused me, I thought she would be happy. "Honey, this is your chance to live your dreams out, don't give that up. If I let you come back I would be helping you destroy your dreams. I love you Ash, and even if their not talking to you, they can still help you. Still if that's what you want we'll pack your stuff and we'll leave right now."
"It's what I want, I can't handle this silence anymore. I know they were trying to be nice by bringing you here, but you have to go home sometime. So yes help me pack and we'll go back home and forget all this foolishness." Jade nodded and started packing my things for me. I looked out the window and asked myself over and over again what I had done. What had hurt the most was Brian, when he stopped talking it was like being shot. There was this large part of my heart that had started falling for him, now it was breaking. It was really childish that I had even thought of dating him, why in the world would he want me. I was only a double for Nick, why settle for second best when you could have the real deal. He didn't want Nick, so that should have told me that he didn't want me. I just wished that I knew why he had stopped talking and started hating me. After Jade had gotten most of the clothes together she tapped me on my shoulder. "You can carry the bags to the rented car, cause I'm the boss and you're the labor." I smiled and did as she asked without talking. After everything was in the car I returned to the to leave a note for the rest of my stuff to be sent to Jade's. I added a little more explaining why I had to leave, and I didn't sugar coat it. I left the note on the bed and left with Jade knowing it was better this way.
*****Brian
It had killed me not talking to Ash for the past couple of weeks. It was Nick's idea to see how he would react to being alone. He wanted to know if Ash would react the same way he would, which would be throwing a temper tantrum. Still Nick wasn't heartless so he contacted Jade and asked her to come. Nick said he had a feeling that Ash was his brother and they would know soon enough. One night while Ash had been sleeping Nick had gotten some kind of DNA sample from him. He had sent it to his mother to get it checked out. The test would be in tomorrow, then everyone could start talking to Ash again. I couldn't wait, and neither could Kevin he was wanting to thank Ash for the outfit he had made. I was too along with AJ and Howie, the only guy that didn't have one was Nick. "Mom's on her way here she has the test but refuses to tell me the results over the phone." I jumped out of my seat and hugged asking him if we could stop with the silence treatment. "I guess I mean if he isn't going to have a fit now then he isn't going to." I ran out of the room and into Ash's it was empty, there wasn't anything left but a note. I thought it was telling me that he had switched room's or maybe gone out for a while. It didn't, it told me that he was gone and to send his stuff to him, it gave an address.
I ran back to Nick's room and threw the note down in front of him. After he read he looked up at me like he was trying to apologize. "He say's to send his stuff and not to worry about the money. That he doesn't want to see or hear from any of us ever again, thanks a lot Nick. If he does turn out to be your brother I hope you have fun trying to talk to him since he hates you now. Well, he hates all of us since we refused to talk to him over the past few weeks. I hope your happy, and I hope you got the reaction you were looking for." I stormed out of his room and to my own, I made sure to lock the door behind me. Nick was pounding on the door in seconds, but I wasn't listening. "Brian I can fix this, all I have to do is talk to him. He didn't say he hated us, he just doesn't want to see or hear us. That doesn't mean he won't talk to my Mom, she can bring him back to us." I opened the door and looked at Nick, he was starting to smile. "No, Nick let him go, it's obvious you don't want him around. If he was your twin it would change your life, it might even take some attention away from you. You couldn't handle that could you Nick, not being in the main spot light anymore? I use to think that I knew you, but I don't and now I'm happy about that. Get the hell away from me Nick, I don't want anything to do with you." I slammed the door in his face and went to my bed where I cried.
*****Nick
I couldn't believe what Brian had just said to me, it wasn't true, I knew it wasn't. Now he didn't want anything to do with me because Ash was gone. My Mom was on the way with news that could change my world for the better. Only now I was wondering if it would be for the better. I was starting to understand Brian, and what he had said held some truth. Talking the guys into not talking to Ash had been a good idea, or at least I had thought so. Now I really didn't know why I had done so to begin with, sure I had thought that I had my reasons. I stayed in my room until my mother started knocking on the door. I answered it smiling, my Mom had the biggest smile I had ever seen on her face. "We've finally found him Nick, I can't believe after all this time we found him. Well, I didn't you did, you gave me back my lost son." She had wrapped her arms around me tears running down her face. "Nick don't you know what this means? We have our whole family now, we can really be whole now. I've never told this to anyone, but I use to dream of this moment. And when you were younger I would always look at every child that passed hoping I would find him. Oh, Nick you have no idea how happy this has made me." I had a pretty good idea, and really soon all this was going to come crashing down.
To Be Continued
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Other stories that I've written Falling, The Sryin, The Lost, Broken, It's A Wonderful Life, Gemini, Ghost, Where You Are, Libra, Simple Twist Of Fate, Angelic, and The Last Kiss Good Night