Disclaimer: I don't know BSB or anyone connected to them in anyway. I don't know their sexual preferences, this is just a story. I made it all up in my own little twisted world. Well, it's not that twisted but that's not the point.
Warning: I don't know where this is going, or what will happen. I've had this story on my mind for the past couple of months. There may be sex, but if there is it won't be in the first chapter. So if that's what you're looking for you might want to look in another place. Now I'm going to try and not use any super natural beings. I may fail but hell trust me when I say I can't help it.
Authors Note: Well I'm back and my BSB kick, and I've left for other bands alone. Now that most likely won't last for long so don't get your hopes up. If you have time and like this story check out some of my other stories. I'll leave a small list at the end of this chapter. I don't have an editor anymore, so most likely there will be a few mistakes. I would also like to add that if you have the time to please e-mail me. I love feed back and in some ways it helps get the next chapter out. Ok I'm going to explain my symbols and my way of writing. I write in the first person point of view, so to tell the story better I switch characters. I use these *** to do that and I also use those symbols to start off the chapter. I will put the name of the characters name in between the symbols when I start a chapter. When I change the character in the middle of the chapter or any part of the chapter the name will be at the end of the symbols. As of right now those are the only symbols I use. If I add more symbols I will explain, now on with the story I hope you enjoy it.
Ash
I looked at the boy and it finally clicked he was Nick's younger brother Aaron. "I guess you are, but I have a small question for you." He smiled, then shrugged his shoulders slowly as in telling me to go for it. "Now don't take this the wrong way, but were you asked to do this. I mean come in here and be all friendly, and if someone did ask you who was it?" For about two seconds he looked like a deer caught in come head lights. "No one asked me to, in fact I was told to stay out of here, but I couldn't. I mean Nick calls me up on the phone and tells me to get my rear here as quickly as I can. Then my Mom tells me that I have another brother. I thought she was pregnant or something, then she drops the real bomb shell. So I just had to meet you a soon as I could, I was supposed to be going to my room. I hope your not mad that I came in here, and if you could, would you please not tell the others?" The smile that formed on my lips wasn't forced or even excepted. "I won't tell anyone, it just means we get to act later when we meet for the first time." Aaron smiled and quietly left the room most likely going to his own room. I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes feeling relaxed for the first time in a long while. If anything I got a real little brother out of all this chaos that had broken loose.
I got back up shortly after that and took a quick shower, to bad I didn't have any clean clothes to change into. I dusted my suit off and put it back on, I hated this damn thing but it was all I had. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that I looked just like my adopted family members. Brenda would be so proud right now, and last night surely made her proud. I had controlled every single thing that had ran through my mind, and I had come out without a scratch. Well, that wasn't really true now that I thought about it, there were small cuts, but none that could be seen. It had really shook me up inside, to know something like that could happen so easily. Even when I had given in without a problem and given the guy all my money. What really had gotten to my was that David had been in danger. That was all my fault, if he wouldn't have followed me none it would have ever happened to him. I know it was a bit of a long shot but he normally led a pretty protected life. His mother and father would never allow anything like that to happen to him. When I wasn't around I'm pretty sure that he was in complete safety. I stopped thinking about it and went on with my normal life. I walked out into the hallway and knocked on every single door. Then I ran back to my room and closed the door once I heard a few of the doors open. It was childish, but that was the way it was going to be.
At least now they knew I was awake, so I waited until the first knock came. Every few minutes someone would come into my room. All of the outfits I had made for the guys was being worn. No one had said a word yet and I wasn't about to be the first unless everyone was in the room. I had a lot to say, and I didn't want to have to repeat myself once. Once the room was filled with people I knew and those that I didn't I stood up. They had even managed to get Jade, David and my adopted parents. Now I understood why I had woken up here, and not at Brenda and Jeff's house. I had been set up by the pro's, and I wasn't to happy about it. "Now that everyone is here I can start and finish all in one day. First off David talked me into giving this a chance, so that's what I'm going to do. That doesn't mean I'm going to wipe the slate clean, that's not my style. I've heard what Nick had to say, and how he takes most of the blame. He's right it was mostly his fault since it was his idea. That didn't mean anyone else had to go along with it, it was just an idea. So I'm not placing the blame on just Nick, everyone had a part in it. What also accrued to me was that I handled it really childish. I shouldn't have taken off, I should have just talked with all of you. The only problem was I had thought that I had done something wrong. So I didn't think I had a right to say anything to anyone, that I should just wait until I was forgiven."
"I didn't understand why everyone had turned their backs on me, it hurt. It shouldn't have, in truth I should have just treated this like a job, that's what it was. You were my bosses, notice had I said were. I no longer work for you, and I won't be taking up that job again, it's over. I don't expect any money, or even any help with my career. I've decided that I'm moving, where I'm not for sure. That doesn't mean I don't want to have contact, I wouldn't mind seeing some of you. I would like to get a chance to know all of you, but I can't just let my life just pass me by anymore. Brenda If I remember correctly you said you could help me. I think, no I know I would like take you up on that offer, but only if I can pay you back later. I'm not for sure how I'm going to do that, but I'll find a way." I looked to Jane, and for the first time I felt like saying something. "Mom, I know you didn't know what Nick was doing, so I'm not even upset with you. What did upset me was how you handled it, you could have just said something to me. You didn't, you kept me in the dark, and I had no clue what was happening. Like I said I'm not upset with you, just upset with your actions. I'm an adult, and I could have handled it, you didn't give me that chance. Nick, there aren't enough words to say how much I dislike you right now."
"You treated me like nothing, then got everyone to ignore me. On top of that you decide you need to make up for it. But not because you thought it was the right thing to do. You did it because if you didn't you were worried about what other people would think of you. There was a slim chance some of your closest friends would see your true colors. They would see that you get jealous very easily, they would see that you are what you say you're not. You're not a nice guy, you're not a good guy, you may have been once but you're not now. Look at your life, and how you live, you're use to everyone bowing down to you. Well, I'm here to tell you, I'll never bow down to you, not now, not ever. Out of everyone in this room you're the one I don't want to get to know. After today I don't ever want to have any contact with you. If that means the rest of the people here don't want to see me with that said, to bad. I don't really care anymore, now I'm done, say whatever you want to say." I stood up and took a seat by the door since I planned on leaving soon. "That's not true, at least not all of it, you have no right to judge me." I looked at Nick and smiled lightly, he looked a little upset. "Why not Nick, you didn't mind judging me?" He looked confused I guess I wasn't done after all.
"Let's see where should I start, oh yeah how about the beginning. Ask yourself what you saw when you first met me. Was it someone you might become friends with, no it was someone who could help you. That wasn't so bad, not really, we didn't know one another. Then after a little time passed and we all had a nice heartfelt confession I thought we could be friends. I was wrong because you didn't want to be friends, which would have been fine. It wouldn't have bothered me if you didn't but you pretended to be my friend. I found out other wise by accident, what was it, oh yeah I don't really need him, you didn't even have the respect to say my name. Their were a few other things I heard, but I left soon after that statement. Then once again I tried to be your friend, what did you do Nick? Let me tell you what you did, you cut me off again like I didn't exist. You wrote me off, so you say I don't have the right to judge you, well I say I do." I stood up and started toward the door I was done with this little game. No one got in my way so I left, found my way to Brenda and Jeff's limo and got in. Twenty minutes later they got in and we went back to their house. "I'm very proud of the way you handled everything Ash. As for your request I agree, and I'll have you an apartment in New York in a week." I nodded and looked out the window as I left my true family behind, finding that my adopted way be where I belong after all.
******Brian
It was over, everything, and now there was nothing anyone could do. Brenda had told us where Ash would be if we needed to get in contact with him. The only problem was I don't think anyone really wanted to talk to him. Nick was so depressed he didn't know what to do with himself. Jane was confused and didn't know how to handle what Ash had said. I had to admit I didn't really know how to react to everything, but I knew he was right. There was only one choice, to move on with life and do what we do best. I was thinking about contacting Ash, but not until he had some time to cool off. Then maybe he would start thinking about forgiving me and the guys. We all liked him and we really did want to get to know him. I really wanted to get to know him, maybe even ask him out on a date. As a few days passed we moved on and went back on tour trying not to think about Ash. It wasn't easy, at least not for me, even Nick was having a really hard time. I was starting to understand why, and I was amazed by the thought. Nick had always held his family above everything else, now his brother hated him. He was finally realizing what he had done to his twin. The one person he should be the closest to in the world. Now that person hated him, and there was a good possibility that he would never forgive him.
Three months had gone by and only Jane and Aaron had spoken with Ash. They were planning a get together in Florida in a few months. He had said that it would have to happen after his opening, he was finally making a name for himself. Jane had tried to talk him into taking their last name, he said maybe after the opening. Something about him making it with his own name, Jane had understood. The pubic still didn't know about Ash, I wasn't sure how long that was going to last. Nick was once again knocking on my door, this time I answered it. He looked worse than I had ever seen him before which finally had me worried. I had ignored him since Ash had left from the hotel after putting Nick into the ground. "Please talk to me, we use to be best friends, can we be again?" I pulled him into the room and sat him down on the bed, he looked up at me with his puppy dog face. "How does it feel to be ignored, how does it feel to have everyone turn their back on you. Maybe now you have an idea what you did to your brother. I know that was really low, but it's true, and I know you didn't ignore him this long. That doesn't matter since your a little dense, and Ash left before you had a chance to end your little game. I think you've had enough, but I'm not your best friend, to be your best friend I would have to know you. I don't know you Nick, I use to think that I did, but I don't." Nick looked hurt, maybe it was time he was faced with reality.
More time passed and soon there was only two weeks left until Ash met up with Jane and Aaron. From what I understood even Leslie was going to be there so she could meet Ash, without him being in a bad mood. I had even gotten a call asking if I wanted to come, I agreed without second thought. Now the only problem was Nick, I sort of felt bad about him not coming. Then again if he just happened to show up it wouldn't be my fault. So I told him everything only to find out that he already knew and had been invited by his Mom. Ash knew he was coming, and planned on keeping his distance the whole time. As I went around talking to the others they had all had been invited, I wonder why we had all been kept in the dark about everyone being invited. I guess it was another of Ash's ideas to teach us a lesson. Either that or it was Jane's idea, either way it was becoming a pain in the ass. Everything was getting real tense among the guys, why we really didn't know. I guess part of us thought this was going to be a repeat of the last time. I hoped it wouldn't be, cause if it was there wasn't a chance in hell that I would ever be able to ask him out. Not if he went on the attack again, I don't think I could take that again. He was so different from the other times we had spoken with one another. When he was pissed off he didn't care who he hurt, or what he said, as long as he was right.
The day was finally here and we were finally pulling up in front of Jane's house. I think Nick was more nervous than I was, he was constantly moving around in the limo. I got out first and walked up to the front door with the others right behind me. Nick knocked since it was his mom's house and not ours. Jane answered a few seconds later and invited us in. There was a dark haired guy that I hadn't met before standing beside the TV talking to Aaron. He was just as tall as Nick, only he had glasses and long goatee, very artistic. When he looked up he was no longer a stranger, it was Ash with a whole new look. Well, if I had looked at the clothing I would have know that it was him, solid black with an interesting design. He smiled lightly before continuing his talk with Aaron who looked to be paying very close attention to him. I had never really seen Aaron give Nick his full attention like that. Nick was looking at Ash, almost enough to burn a hole straight through his chest. Only it wasn't a look of anger, only that of sorrow and regret, When Ash looked back there was nothing in his eyes. It was like he knew Nick was there but would never care, there wasn't anger, there was nothing. To Ash it was like Nick no longer existed, and maybe he never would again. "Just give it time, he can't hate you forever, no one can." Nick smiled but he could see through my words and into my mind, it truth I believed that Ash could hate him forever.
The difference between Ash and us, was that we didn't have a choice. We had to get along with one another, Ash had a choice. He didn't have to ever speak with any of us again, or even see us for that matter. Nick on the other hand had to be forgiven at some point if the band was going to stay together. The guys and I had already forgiven him, only I think he needed something more. He needed his brother to forgive him before he could have any real peace. Normally Jane would have gotten involved, only this time she had no power over anything that happened. If Aaron and Nick had been fighting over something she could have forced them to talk it out. Jane had no power over Ash, and I don't think she ever would. Not that Ash didn't care for her, he just cared more for himself. No one could really blame him, he was all he really had when it came down to it. We all knew his adopted family could most likely buy all our houses and still have enough to buy a small island. Ash didn't need money, he needed love and friends that he could trust. Nick had proven that he wasn't a good friend for people he didn't need, sad but true. Only now Nick needed Ash, only Ash didn't need him in anyway shape or form. Nick was going to have to grow up a lot if he ever wanted to have any kind of relationship with his brother. In truth I didn't think that was going to happen any time soon, and if it did, it might be to late.
Ash had moved over to Kevin who he was now talking to. Howie had snuck up behind Ash and was about to tickle him. Ash turned around and picked Howie up and hugged him so tightly Howie's jaw dropped. Then he sat him back on the ground and smiled before returning to his talk with Kevin. Howie slowly moved away and found himself sitting beside Nick. I moved closer to Ash and Kevin so I could over hear what they were talking about. "So anyway I was thinking of this black outfit that would look wonderful on you. Then again I could really do some magic in white if you wanted, but it would reveal a little more skin. Not that you wouldn't mind that is, only it's a little racy for most men, but I think you could pull it off. I've also designed a dress for Kristen, but I don't know if she would really like it." Kevin hadn't been able to get a word in yet, which I took as a good sign. "Could I talk to you about something, I don't really want to piss you off by bringing it up?" Kevin now had my full attention as he was about to step into no mans land. "Before you start, I'm going to warn you, if it has anything to do with Nick I don't want to hear it." That didn't seem to phase Kevin as he took a deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you about Brian, he really likes you a lot. I don't know if you've seen the way he looks at you, but their more behind those eyes than friendship. I know we all did you really wrong, but it was killing him to not talk to you."
"He was always trying to talk Nick into stopping his little test, or whatever it was. So could you at least give him a shot, as in maybe dating him if he ask?" I didn't know how to react to Kevin trying to set me up with Ash. Still I found that I liked the idea and would do anything he asked if it worked. "Why would he want me Kevin, I'm just the look alike? It's not like he couldn't have Nick, I mean come on, what could I give him that Nick couldn't?" Ash's voice had changed from carefree to more of a depressed tone that ate at me. "Honesty, all kinds of things that I don't think Nick has, or ever had. Ash your real, and you don't have to pretend to be something else. Nick can't be like that he has way to much fame for it. You on the other hand are simply yourself, that's why Brian wants you. So will you give him another shot if he ask, please give him another shot?" I pushed my body closer still maintaining a good distance, and praying for the answer I dreamed of hearing. "I'll think about it, but I swear if this another game, I'll never forgive you." Ash walked away and Kevin sighed, now was the time to talk to Ash, only Kevin stopped me. "If you try to talk to him now it'll only look like a setup, trust me on this. I know you were listening, you do have a shadow, but I don't think Ash noticed." I let my shoulders sag and took a seat beside Howie and Nick.
Ash was talking with everyone as long as they were no where near Nick. "Maybe you should try to talk to him, you never know he might listen." I could have punched Howie just then, giving Nick that kind of advice. "Yeah I guess you're right, I should at least try, what's the worst that could happen?" Nick's voice was a little shaky as he moved toward Ash who was talking with Jane. They were still close enough to be heard, and I worried that Nick was going to get stomped into the ground again. "Ash could we talk real quick, you know in private?" Ash turned around slowly and took his glasses off and looked right into Nick's eyes. "I don't see the point in you and I talking to one another just yet. There are a lot of things that I have to get past before you and I could even try being brothers. You hurt me in so many ways, and I still can't see past that, so no we can't talk in private. There will be a day, when I don't know, but on that day I might be able to look into your eyes and not feel anger. When that day comes I'll call you and then we could talk. Until then I'm asking you to stay away from me, if you don't I'll force you to." Nick slowly nodded and moved back to the couch where he just fell, like the life had been drained from him. Ash hadn't raised his voice or anything, he sounded just like his adopted mother. I had gotten a chance to talk with her, and the woman was void of any emotion.
Ash turned back around to see Jane trying to hold back tears. He hugged her lightly and whispered something into her ear that made her smile. She nodded slowly and walked away, but not before placing a kiss on Ash's cheek. Ash turned around and moved toward Nick, now I was a little worried. Ash looked at Nick for a short time, almost like he was studying him. "You didn't deserve that, if you want to talk fine, but I'm not making any promises I'll hear you all the way out. I want you to know that I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for Mom." Ash walked away with Nick right behind him, and I wondered what was about to happen. To be honest I had even thought of following them, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So I just sat and waited for either Nick's return or Ash's, hopefully both. I knew that this wasn't going to be that easy, nothing just fixed itself with a simple talk. It was true that a great deal of things could be worked out by talking, I just didn't know if this was one of those times. I checked my watch every ten minutes until Nick walked back out. He had this dazed look in his eyes, he looked lost and alone. Ash walked back out seconds later, he went into the kitchen then stormed out the front door. Jane came flying out of the kitchen, her eyes were red rimmed with tears that had yet to fall. She looked at Nick as in almost asking why, then ran out the front door.
Nick never told anyone what happened, or what had been said in that room. From that day on his eyes were empty like black holes. He would still put up an act around most people, even me. But there were times when that act would fall apart and there he would be, this lifeless being. Two months had passed since that day, and still nothing had changed for the better. Everything seemed to have gotten worse from that point on as Aaron stopped talking to Nick. Then slowly the rest of Nick's family started distending themselves from him. I had called Ash one night to try and find out what had happened since Nick wasn't talking, all I got was an answering machine. I left a message but my call was never returned. Another month went by and now no one in Nick's family was talking to him. Now he only had the guys and myself, so I once again tried to contact someone. When I called Jane's house all I got was Aaron who wasn't talking for any amount of money. He just said that Nick had said something's that he shouldn't have and now he was paying for it. Then added that he hadn't seen Ash since that night, he had only spoken with him for a short amount of time on the phone. Then I heard a door open and Aaron said he had to go, so he hung up. I decided it was high time someone did something, so I made plans to fly to New York. Once I got my break it was the first place I was heading.
*****Ash
I found myself alone once again with nothing to do but draw. That's all my life had become nothing but design. I had made a name for myself, but no one had seen my face yet, I wasn't ready for that. All the world knew was that I was up and coming fashion designer for mostly men. I had made a few outfits for women, but it just didn't seem to have the draw to them that I liked. Still as I sat in my room I wondered if what Nick had said held any truth to it. In honesty, I was starting to believe that it did, he had made some strong points. Even though what he had said had been in anger, due to my pushing him to be honest. He had spoken truthfully, or at least what he thought was the truth. His words had made their way into my mind, even now I couldn't push them away for more than a few minutes. It was affecting everything I did with my designs, all of the designs had gotten a darker look. Most of the clothing was black or a really dark shade of red, blue, or green. It seemed the more depressed I got the better the designs would turn out. I was making a killing thanks to Brenda's help, which was starting to worry me. I had paid her back for just about everything, but I still had problems getting people to take me seriously. That was one of the reasons I had tried to not let people see me all that much.
When someone actually met me they were first amazed and then worried with my age. So I always needed Brenda's backing no matter where I went with my designs. The money I was making now was mostly mine, but I still sent Brenda twenty percent. I felt better knowing that I was paying her for her help with my career. I was brought out of my thoughts by a very loud knocking on my door. I didn't really understand it, but it had to be another resident since the building had guards. I opened the door to find Brian looking around like a lost kid. "Hey, didn't know it would be this hard to get in here, how's everything going?" He was blushing lightly, and refused to look into my eyes which only made my heart race a little faster. "It's going, how, I'm not so sure about that, want to come in or do you plan on standing out their all night?" He looked up slightly and walked into my apartment. "I know you have the money to put some stuff in here, why's it so empty?" I just shrugged my shoulders and led him to the kitchen table where he took a seat. "I like the space I guess, plus it leaves room for stuff like business. That and I don't really like TV, or anything else for that matter. I have my book's to keep me company when I'm not working, so it's all good." He smiled as I started making coffee, my mind was spinning. I wasn't really in control, well no where near where I would want to be.
To Be Continued
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Other stories that I've written Falling, The Sryin, The Lost, Broken, It's A Wonderful Life, Gemini, Ghost, Where You Are, Libra, Simple Twist Of Fate, Angelic, and The Last Kiss Good Night