Usual Disclaimer: I don't know the character personally. I know nothing of their personal sexuality. This is a gay romance fiction story. If you are not old, enough to read it don't. If you are well then-by-all-means read away and enjoy!
Author's notes:
As no one knows I think it is time to tell all of you why it is taking so long for these installments to get out. What's been taking so long you may be asking? Well the truth is there was an auto accident. Yes, Grayson is okay after all was said and done. But the drunk driver that hit the car needed to be put away for a while and I was seeing to it. He slammed into the back of our 4-day-old car at 55 MPH and our car was at a dead stop at the time. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt during the accident. Thank God, my Godson was not in the back seat of the car where he was intended to be. So, there you have it; the abridged version of what has been happening in the Velar household.
The story will now hopefully continue with little or no more hindrance. let me know what you think writergray@aol.com and now you may reach me at writergray@msn.com
Last, time...
Kevin is in love and it is a true love. They have had a lot of anguish lately and just like any other person out there, we should support him for who he is not what he is and looks like. There is no set mold as to how a person is to be. That concept is the sole responsibility of the morals that each person reading this takes on. If you love another, is it to be limited and who sets the limitations. Can a person love the same sex and still be a person in the eyes of the people who assume they know them?
Kevin Scott Richardson and Michael Allen Valery are in love with one another. It shows in their attitude and in their eyes. If you ever see them standing by, greet them. If you ever see them look into their souls and be proud of the fact that they love one another in a world filled with hate for their type of love. And if you can not see it, you are at a disadvantage. Maybe just maybe if you could see what they have you would see what you are missing in your own lives. It doesn't matter that it is a straight or a gay relationship. What matters most is the happiness that two people can share.
No detail, no words to be given on what they do behind closed doors. That is their business as long as they are happy and healthy in their relationship. Just understand that love is love no matter how you look at it and please accept that they are happy. No they are not hurting you by loving each other and Kevin is still the same man you all knew or thought you knew. For the best, he finally fell in love with someone that makes him truly happy.
"It's not what happens in life that matters, it's how we react to what happens that makes all the difference"
Frank Paterson-Daily Grind 2000
And Now, on with the story...
DWYB 18
'The end as they knew it'
by Grayson S. Vellar
My mind was spinning out of control with mixed emotions as I finished reading the article. It seemed more like an apology or a letter to the public. Was he preaching, was this the right angle to do this from? I was confused, scared, and happy all at the same time.
"Well," Brian asked as I closed the folder.
"I should be asking the guys that same question," I said leaning against Kevin for support.
"Well, we all think it is what's right," Brian said smiling a smile that sent a shiver up my spine.
"So, Kevin when is this going to print?" I asked him while listening to his heart beat.
"As soon as this afternoon if we let it. They're doing a special edition with a report on relationship in the entertainment industry. It just so happens that our picture will be on the cover," Kevin said wrapping his arms around me tightly.
"Wow," I said thinking about how fast all of this happened.
"Let's get back downstairs and see what everyone wants to do today," Kevin said acting like nothing was happening out of the ordinary.
"Okay," I answered still unsure of what to think of all of this.
"Brian could you give Michael and I some time to talk first," Kevin asked. Brian simply stood and walked out of the room closing the door on his way out.
Down Stairs...
"Look guys, if Kevin does this you have to stand by him otherwise the press will tear him apart. Michael will become a victim in this as well. You all need to make sure you give them your support one way or the other," Jeff said pacing back and forth. Chuck sat next to the patio door just outside smoking a cigarette and looking in at him.
"You know what this means now doesn't it Jeffery," Chuck said snidely.
"No, Charles what does it mean," Jeff said just as Brian hit the bottom step.
"This means that we are now going to be under the microscope too," Chuck said turning to face the pool.
"We have talked about this already," Jeff said facing Chuck completely.
"No, you talked and I listened... I said I understood, and I do. But one can wish and hope for the opposite reaction from his lover of 4 years," Chuck said standing up and heading across the patio and out past the pool.
"You two are a different scenario entirely. Why make this more difficult on your brother Jeff?" Ann asked not liking the attitude or subject matter at hand.
"Ann this is going to effect me. This is going to effect my family. What am I supposed to do? Do I just continue to recklessly live my life out in the open and some day place myself in the same situation they are in? If I do that, I will loss my son and my wife, people will not understand," Jeff said heading out the back door.
"I wasn't attacking you!" Ann shouted catching everyone by surprise.
"Auntie I don't think he meant to imply that," Brian said walking over to the couch and sitting down next to her.
Kevin and I upstairs...
"So the plan is we set our date publicly," Kevin said looking me straight in the eyes.
"Kevin I would love to marry you and show the world what all of this mean to us. But, that is a bigger shock than they are prepared for don't you think. I mean it would be wonderful but we will be pushing out luck just a little that way," I said taking his hand in mine. I knew I was right but at the same time, I wanted to show the world the same things he did.
"Okay, how about we not try to worry about that right now. But, I want you to at least keep it in the back of your mind that I want you and I to be together and these rings too mean what I hope they do," Kevin said standing up and pulling me with him. As we went to exit the room, I heard shouting outside in the backyard. I knew the voice too well, it was Jeff my own brother.
Kevin and I ran downstairs to see what was happening. It was an all out shouting match in the backyard with Jeff and Chuck in a complete face off. In all the years, I had seen them as friends I had never seen the two of them so mad, so callous. Jeff was ranting and raving about having to follow the rules. Chuck stood strong facing him and making it clear that he was closed off to the shouting. His arms crossed over his chest and he was remaining calm for the moment. It takes a lot of guts to face off against my brother. He rants and raves louder than anyone else I have ever met. So much so, that he can make you feel as if the world is going to end with a hole forming bellow your feet to swallow you whole, as it simply implodes.
"Jeff, I only mean that if this gets out we are going to have to deal with it. If you really want me to leave, I will... But, remember what we have and what we have already gone through," Chuck said still calm.
"Leave now!" Jeff said turning and heading our direction face twisted his fists clenching and releasing as he walked.
"Stop!" I shouted.
Kevin grabbed hold of my hand and stood right by my side. Jeff tried to step through us to get out and away. Neither of us would move as Chuck spun around and faced us. There was a newfound hatred in Jeff's eyes as he glared at the two of us. It was the most uncomfortable moment I had ever had between Jeff and I. I could feel the rage that was building up in side. He was no longer the caring kind man I knew him to be. He was far more arrogant and cruel in these moments than I had ever imagined him to be capable of.
"This is not your problem this is ours. It was our decision and you two have no business fighting over it. Jeff your married there will be no questions about you," I said standing my ground hoping against hope that he would see the truth in the situation.
"Immature thoughts will not make this go away Michael. You always had a way to overlook the obvious," Jeff said setting down in one of the chair nearby. He was calming on the outside but one look from his eyes let me know that we were still not out of the fires of his rage. This was insane, he was taking all of this upon himself. It was as if I was to live my life for him. It was as if I was to let Kevin go and let his little existence stop me from being happy. This was it I was tired of bowing down to everyone else's feelings.
"Bravo Jeff, make this into your problem. You know it's funny you never could just let me live my life. I tried to live my life to please you, mom and dad. I tried so hard. I hated myself for it as well. Only the last few years have I taken on living my life for me. Get over yourself! This is our life, not yours!" I said squeezing Kevin hand. Jeff stood up and faced us strong again.
"Fuck you," was all he said as he turned and walked to the edge of the pool. I had one I knew I had just one. He resorted to the one phrase that told me lost. There was nothing in his mind to judge me on any longer. He had lost because I was right and I knew it now.
"Now who being immature? I think you should realize we should not have to consider anyone else other than the guys and ourselves. This is not effecting your life it is ours. You work for us not the other way around," Kevin said making Chuck cringe as Jeff turned around and faced us head on yet again.
"Son of a Bitch, what a way to go," Jeff said shaking his head and grinning. "You're right, I forget my place here. So I guess this mean I no longer work for you. I guess you no longer need me like you did a few days ago. From what I remember you called me not the other way around," Jeff said heading across the back of the house to the side gate. He had lost before this and there was probably a way to save all of this from happening. But now it was too late. He would have to come to us on his terms. There was no stopping him, once he was mad a second irrational time you would have to wait for him, and the terms. Chuck was frantic as he ran after him.
"Jeff wait!" Chuck screamed out as Jeff slammed the gate shut.
"Great just great!" I said letting go of Kevin's hand and heading to the gate as Chuck ran through it chasing after Jeff. Kevin did not follow us. In all truth, I did not want him too. This was a personal, very personal, situation that he was not completely aware of until now.
As I cleared the gate and ran down the length of the side of the house, all I could see was Chuck sprawled out on the ground. I wasn't sure what had happen. It appeared as If my brother had just hit his lover sending him crashing to the ground. This in my eyes was far worse than it had initially looked. Jeff turned back around from where he was standing still and faced Chuck offering him his hand helping him up. A sudden sigh of relief crossed my lips until I saw Jeff take a step back putting distance between them.
"Jeff?" Chuck asked on the verge of tears.
"No, Charles this is where we end things baby. You know what this will do to my family, my life. It will destroy it, and there will be nothing left of the man you have fallen in love with. He can not exist any longer," Jeff said turning and walking down the driveway. He was leaving. He was gone.
"Chuck, come here," I whispered as he stood silently crying.
"Just leave me be for now Michael," Chuck said crouching down and leaning against the cinder block wall crying, whaling, into his hands. After all, that Kevin and I had gone through I realized something much deeper from the scene before me. Never, and I am sure never, in my life would I ever have to feel that way. We would survive. I don't know exactly where that thought or idea came from. But right then, I was sure of that one thing. Never in our lives would Kevin ever walk away leaving me to fend off my own emotions as he rejected me. Guilty relief came over me and walked to the end of the walkway to help Chuck.
'If it were me.. If I ever were to feel the way he does, I would want someone to comfort me. Would I believe them telling me that it would be all right? No, but I would want someone to tell me all the same.'
"Chuck, lets get you inside and cleaned up," I said to which he did not respond. I reached out to him trying to get him to move but he would not.
"Chuck, there are times in our lives when we feel we can not go on," I looked up in surprise as Ann stood talking to Chuck with her arms wrapped around her own waist. "I know what it's like. You have to be stronger than this and you must hold onto that hope. He loves you or he would not have gotten so upset. You'll see," Ann said stepping forwards and running her fingers through his short hair.
"Now, you come inside with me and I will take care of you until he comes to his senses. I may have had hasty thoughts about my son and his choices. But, I can see that love, for all of you, hurts as much as love for anyone else. It may be a different kind of love. But love is just as cruel and loving for you as it is for me," Ann said taking his hand in hers as he looked up. "Come on," She encouraged him to stand up.
"He means well. He's just angry," Chuck said slowly standing up and hugging Ann.
There space to be given to this man. I didn't know what had set all of this into motion. For some reason or another I knew in my heart that this had very little to do with Kevin and I, so I turned and walked back towards the back entrance to the house. I knew that it was too right to leave them. Ann needed to feel needed and at that point, she was with the most needy of us right then.
Kevin stood in the middle of the Kitchen living room while everyone else remained in silence he smiled at me trying to figure out what was going on. With trepidation, I smiled back trying to cover up my quizzical mind, and make the analytical-side go away. If they were to fix their relationship, it was to be on their terms not on mine. I had very little to give them I had my own problems to conquer.
"Michael I know that look and it is never good when it is on the face of someone who as long as I have know them has always been able to see the silver lining in everything." Brian said sitting on the arm of the couch next to JC of N'Sync.
"Sorry Brian I think maybe I just need to distance myself from the questions that are in here," I said point to my forehead and smiling at him. Kevin grinned placing his arm around my shoulder and hugging me from the side.
"You want to talk about it," Kevin asked me in a whispered voice.
"He doesn't but I do," Chuck whispered walking up behind us causing me to jump from the new presence. I faced him and looked to see the calming effect Ann had, had on him. No more tears streaked his face. No more grieving for the loss was apparent. But, when I looked into those eyes, I could see the fear and pain still lurching. This was not over. This was just the lull in the storm of emotions he was feeling.
"Okay," Kevin says pulling me over to a recliner into his lap.
"Were to begin," Chuck asked thinking only to have Justine answer from his spot next to JC.
"The beginning since I have no idea what is going on," Justine said causing Brian to laugh as he saw the bright smile on JC face.
"Okay the beginning it is," Chuck said.
"Well, here goes. Michael you know how your brother and I met right?"
"No"
"It all started when I was working on that small production team that helped him with Union Masquerade. Anyhow, it was the first day of shooting and his assistant Sheila had been a close friend of mine previously. After she and I parted, ways about 2 years before I never really expected to see her again. I mean you hardly meet people like her and expect them to stay in your life for long. She introduced us immediately when she realized I was there."
"Jeff, that man there that is smiling at me, happens to be none other than my should-have-been brother Charles Edward Burns. Charles this is Jeff Valery."
"That was where it began so to speak. We talked that day and several days to come but nothing came of it. I mean as far as I knew he was happily married. Until about a week and a half into our friendship I found out more," Chuck said and I sat still entranced trying to understand why I didn't ever pick this up. I had lived there, I had been in their neighborhood. I had visited frequently.
"Liz and Jeff had an agreement before they got married. With him being BI and all she agreed there were things she could not offer him. She agreed to let him see other men to soften his desires," Chuck paused looking up at me through sad tears.
"That was a long time ago Michael. We had to fight to make it work. At first, your sister-in-law was not happy at all with the situation. I mean he never really showed any interest in other men before me. There had been a few; but none he could speak of directly to her. And then we did it we all sat down and made the pact that would seal our love. We would share everything. Well, everything except her and I in the same bed. She would have him and so would I. I know it sounds crazy to listen to this but it's true," Chuck sat in silence on the barstool he had made his way too.
"Look I love him and he loves me. He just... He is just, confused, and his whole world is shattering around him. He is self destructing Michael and he needs help," Chuck said crying as I stood up from Kevin lap and walked over to comfort him.
Everyone was silent as I hugged Chuck trying to figure out what to do here. I had never really even known about them until just the other day and here I stood trying to figure out what to do next. There was a knock at the front door causing Chuck to stand up and head back out into the backyard leaving my side and leaving the comfort, he needed.
When Jack comes to call...
Jack Lyons stood at the front door awaiting his welcome. He had received the article from Johnnie that morning and there was no way to stop this from happening. His idea was to make the best of the situation and his arrival depended on his controlling the outcome.
"Hello Brian," Jack said as Brian opened the front door surprised to see him. Tony stood just behind him in business attire standing next to Judy.
"Jack," Brian answered surprised to see him.
"Yes, Brian it's me and I have to talk to all of you. Is that possible?" Jack asked still not making a move towards the door.
"I don't see why not," Brian answered uneasily.
"Where to then," Jack asked still seeing the surprise in Brian's eyes. Jack opened his briefcase next to him and pulled out a red folder showing Brian the article in question.
"Oh! So, you have seen it. Follow me," Brian said leading the three to the living room where everyone still sat in silence.
Kevin was the first to react and it surprised me to see him smiling at them as they entered the already full room.
"Jack! Good morning," Kevin said cheerily.
"Good morning everyone," Jack said in the same tone of voice. "JC, Justine nice to see you too!" Jack said walking over and extending his hand to which neither responded until they notices Tony standing there smiling. It was as if a light had gone off in their heads as they grinned a knowing grin and greeted the three.
"Good to see the three of you too," Justine said shaking his hand first to which Tony took the first steps towards them to greet them as well. I looked out the back door and noticed Chuck sitting in one of the patio chairs watching us all.
"Well, guys.. We are here to offer up any help we can to you in your decision with the article." Kevin and I looked at one another as Judy's words sank completely in. I was to say the least shocked that they had seen it already.
"How did.." I started to ask only to be cut off by Tony.
"Johnnie made sure Frank sent us a copy this morning."
"Oh," Kevin replied and relaxed back into his seat.
"The label officially will support you of course. It is the only thing to do in this situation. However, we will not say we are for or against the actual acts of the relationship we will stand by you and you alone as the two of you. This should not be about your sexuality rather it should be about you individuality," Jack said setting on the barstool.
"So, have you decided when to publish," Judy asked then added. "I took the liberty of asking for a delay until we had your approval to agree to let it be printed," Judy said handing Kevin a file she had been holding.
"What's this," I asked taking the folder and opening it to see all of the pictures that had been taken of us the previous evening.
"Wow, these are actually good. We look strikingly good if I may say so myself," I said smiling as everyone rushed to see what I was looking. I began to laugh when Howie frowned seeing the actual photos and realizing that they were as good as I suggested.
"Glen we need to have pictures taken like these," Howie said smiling at his lover who gingerly stood next to him.
"They are very good. Hell, I never knew Michael was photogenic," Glen said making me laugh right along with everyone else.
Lunch...
"Still no Jeff huh?" Judy asked Charles who had decided to join us in the house.
"No," Chuck answered.
"Let me tell you something about powerful men. We love them because they are powerful. They rarely love themselves enough to see the love until it is not right in front of their faces. He will come around," Chuck looked at her and smiled as a fresh flood of tears filled his eyes.
"Kevin I really think I should make a phone call. Would you mind if I used your office baby," I asked and kissed him gently on the lips ready to go call Liz.
"You know where our office is at," Kevin said making me smile. Everyone else was making awing noises making me blush as I ran up the stairs.
The Phone call...
"Hello?" Liz asked.
"Liz it's Michael," I said not sure how to approach the subject.
"Oh hi Michael I was just about to call you," Liz paused "Is Jeff there I have a question I need to ask him," She asked cheerily into the phone.
"Um, no actually that is why I was calling you," I said pausing not sure what to tell her.
"Michael is everything okay, there hun?" Liz asked in a concerned voice.
"Not really. You see Jeff and Chuck got into a fight and Jeff left," I answered her as truthfully as I needed too.
"Oh, that happens a lot Michael. Especially lately, I guess Jeff is getting pressure from somewhere about their relationship. I'm not sure, what it is all about neither of them talks to me anymore. After the big break up a few years ago nothing really seems the same and at the same time, it is better," Liz said stopping not wanting to tell every secret they have.
"Did Chuck try to stop him again," Liz asked.
"He started to but for some reason he seemed like he just gave up and that was what Jeff wanted really so."
"So, Jeff left and you have Chuck there with you crying again right?" Liz asked as if in a hateful tone of voice.
"That about sums it up," I answered not sure what to think of her tone of voice.
"Tell Chuck, he still lives here one way or another. I know I am married to Jeff but Chuck still lives with me. He still has friends who care about him and there is nothing to worry about. He and I have talked about this Michael. He knows he is still wanted in my life." Liz said making me smile knowing thing were not as glum as they seemed.
"I will. Do me a favor and call me if he shows up there Liz. I know that hotel is probably not a place he will show up today. But, just in case he does will you let me know please," I asked her.
"Sure, and you do the same for me Michael," Liz said to me just before hanging up the phone.
Dinner...
All that remained of the group now was Jack, Tony, Judy, Brian, Nick, Kevin, and I.
"Food's here," Nick said walking out onto the back patio carrying the just delivered Pizza.
"I can't believe I let you guys talk me into eating this stuff," Jack said as he relaxed at the table with Tony sitting at his side. He again ready to start talking about what was to happen in the morning. All day we had been talking about what was to happen, by now you would think he would understand that we knew what was going to happen.
"Okay, so the plan it that the guys will be here in the morning to support you. We all know as soon as the press get a hold of this story that it will end up being a zoo around here," Jack said taking even so, another pieces of Pizza.
"We know Jack, now eat your pizza and shut the hell up," I said laughing at him. It had been a long day with all of talking and working on how we would put up a front unifying how we all felt about this and how it was just another part of the group's diversity. But in my mind, I was still unsure of how it would all go.
Soon enough Jack, Tony and Judy left leaving us to figure out sleeping arrangement since Chuck was asleep in Brian's room. He had been up there all day practically and Nick had not made matters any better giving him one of Brian's muscle relaxers like he had.
None the less, it was time to sleep and Brian was out of a bed.
"Look you guys can just take the spare, Mom wont be back until tomorrow Brian," Kevin said.
Sleeping brought me home...
I swam in the warmth of the ocean. The waters engulfed me as I dove deeper into the blackness I felt contentment and happiness emanating from the water as it washed away all my worries. Out of six months of hell, I had now fallen into the beginnings of heaven.
His arms feeling secure, he eyes showing me their desires. He made me live again, where I thought, for sure that I was going to die. After what had been happening as of late with Glenn and Manerva I was beginning to dwindle away from my self image of hope. But, here I swam in his eyes a sea of emotions existing in his purest of heart. I was drifting again as I closed my eyes and relaxed yet again dreaming of him in my heart and soul. The waters began to pull away, as I was now cold and bare to the air of the world around me.
"You know if you swim and think any harder. I would have to guess the last six years have made you happier than I thought. I know what this has done for me. I also know that our love is stronger than any other I have seen in my lifetime. I love you Michael." I heard Kevin's voice as I leaned back against him drifting in the water. I felt him as he gave way, the ocean began to roll, and the tide dropped me naked and bare to the shore.
I was cold bewildered and lost as a Blanket wrapped tightly around me. I snuggled down thinking of the love of this man so true and pure. How had I ever fallen in love with such a man like Glenn? His heart was true for a time but his eyes always spoke the truth. I knew we were wrong for one another from the beginning. But with Kevin I have known for the past.. The past..
(To Be Continued)
Authors Closing Notes
If you all have any questions please feel free to ask. Hopefully this will answer some of them for you. Writergray@aol.com
1.) Yes a sort of cliffhanger. But hey aren't wet dreams fun.. Wet?
2.) I want to thank everyone who has written me the last month or so. I really do appreciate the mail and it has made me realize not only do these stories mean a lot to me to write. They also, mean a lot to the people reading them.
3.) I also would like to announce that in my spare time I have written and new N'Sync story that should be out at the beginning of February. This is a new area for me considering that there is no epic story line. The story is approximately 3 installments long.
4.) As for the roller coaster: I received some interesting responses. You all actually like it but would like to see it less often. This was a great help in decision making for this as well as the next installment. Be prepared for happy conclusions, new beginning, and a few little twists.
5.) Yes everyone is welcome to write me. Try it out you may be surprised when you get mail back from me. I do try to answer all mail as quickly as possible.
Thanks for reading writergray@aol.com or writergray@msn.com
Thanks, Grayson S. Vellar