Dont Want You Back

By moc.loa@yarGretirW

Published on Aug 7, 2000

Gay

Warning! If you not old enough leave otherwise enjoy it, it's fiction!

I hope you all enjoy it. I really have not heard much from anyone lately. I know some people are reading it because I go to the chat room and get told there. Writergray@aol.com

Again, read the other great series' out there. There are a lot of them and these are a few of my favorites:

Love's Greater Grace Dream Lance Brian's 7 seas of loneliness Open Arm's Superman can't fly Fixing the Backstreet Boy's Kevin behind the scenes We admitted it Lonely Lance My surprise romance Because I love you Model Romance

Thanks for reading writergray@aol.com

Don't Want You Back-Part 14

'Problem Solved'

By Grayson S Vellar

Everyone except for Glen and I had a confused look on our faces. Kevin was suddenly filled with confusion and a sullen look crossed through his eyes.

"Mom?" Kevin questioned before heading into the house leaving the rest of us outside.

Part 14

Judy Adams...

"You mind turning around so I can get up," Tony asked.

"No not at all," Judy said turning her back to them now facing the fireplace.

Tony escaped up the stairs without notice to Judy. She was waiting for the sign to turn around; she was waiting for a sign that would never come. Jack was deep in his own thoughts. He always wondered how this all would turn out. Who would find out? Who would be the first to figure it? Francine had been his happy excuse as of late. She was just a cover. But, with everything taking the turn it had, he was at a loss now. Judy had always been there all along. She was a sort of cover years ago. They had been together in a marriage of lies.

"Jack what's going on?" Judy finally asked unable to handle the silence.

"Just thinking about how this is like the first night we were home alone after our wedding." Jack said smiling as she turned around in fury.

"That is not funny!" Judy was mad madder at him than she intended as she stood up and walked to him ready to shout.

"Silly Bitch you came barging into my home. This is my house, my space, and I will think what I like. You know what your problem is Judy?" Jack asked with a smug look on his face. He was now mad and there was no holding back. Over the last few days, he had been played like a pawn. First Miliken, then Francine, then the BSB, and now her.

"You," Judy answered sarcastically.

"My problem is I am the type of person who helps people and you are the type of person who judges people. Hell, I bet you now blame yourself or me or who ever just so responsibility can be placed!" Jack screamed sitting up. He knew it was unfair to place all the blame on her, but it was too late. The damage was done.

Kevin House...

"Mom?" Kevin questioned before heading into the house leaving the rest of us outside.

That had been over an hour ago and here we all still set in silence. Kevin was still upstairs in the office with her. I assumed this was the point in our relationship where he needed to handle it on his own. He had to think about it all, he had to deal with it in his own way. Apparently from the past, there had been a lot to deal with in his relationship with his mother. I only wished I had the same problem. My own mother was gone from my life now. She has been dead for quite some time and to say I wished I had his problem right now would be a mockery to it happening. However, truth be know I wish everyday I still had my mother. I just hoped that with whatever outcome they came to they would still have their relationship. After all, she was still his mother.

If we were going to eat it was to be now or never. It seemed like an eternity to me that we had all been together. In reality, it had only been three days including today. Kevin and I were stable to say the least about our relationship. The guys and I were getting there. Even Keith seemed to be warming up to the idea of me being here. It seemed odd for the most part; he was in love with Kevin and this morning he wanted that more than anything. But, here he was trying to ignore that. I guess it all depends on his outlook on our relationship. I guess I should try to talk to him sometime. But still there was Ann 'What was I to do about Anne?' truth was it was not my problem. I only wished I could help. But I had my own issues to deal with.

"Keith could you grab that towel there for me. I want to take it back upstairs," I asked as he headed my way from out by the pool.

"Sure will Michael," he shouted back at me from the other side of the patio.

"You know one of these days we are going to have to talk to one another," I said standing there as he approached me with the towel in hand.

"You mean talk to each other and not at each other right," he asked.

"Yes of course that's what I mean," I said smiling at him as I took a seat at the glass table near the sliding door.

"Okay how bout we start now," he said sitting across from me. Try as I may I could not get my mind off of Kevin and Anne upstairs talking in the office.

"She really means well you know?" Keith asked shocking me.

"I know but she is hurting him at the same time. I just wish I could help. But, I must admit that at the same time I wish I had the problem he does." I said leaning over onto the table and resting my head on the waded up towel in my hands.

"You want your mom to be so upset that she says things she doesn't mean," Keith asked, and I did not look up.

"No, I wish mine was alive to actually care what happened to me," I said rubbing my eyes with the towel as I prepared myself for an onslaught of emotions.

"I'm sorry I had no idea." I cut him off quickly.

"It was a long time ago. You have no reason to be sorry. Truth is I know what he is going through. My mother and I were close and for the most part, we got along. However, when I was not doing things the way she wanted them to be done she would do exactly what Anne does. She would give me a guilty conscious," I said leaning back in the chair.

"She means well," Keith answered and suddenly I felt compelled to say something anything to this man sitting before me. Something to relay my confidence in knowing how he felt for Kevin.

"You said that already and so do you. I can see it when you talk to him. You do care for him I know you do. I appreciate it too," I said pulling the towel into my lap and starring at him.

"Ouch, you make it sound like a bad thing in some way. I mean I have felt like that for him for a long time. This is just he first time I have ever remotely come close to telling him. I never meant to hurt you though," Keith said leaning against the table.

"I believe you, I guess that's why I understand so well," I said as Keith went sheet white and them smiled at me again as he took a deep breath.

"So you do like Anne and understand her point of view?" Keith asked changing the subject on me.

"Like her? I don't even know her. Heck, I don't even think she wants to know me. I mean she disregarded his feeling for me and disowned him if he chose this life. Truth was it had nothing to do with me. When she thought it was Howie, it was just as bad. I just hope they work it out," I said trailing off standing up to go inside. I had to order food or cook something. Kevin was out of commission for this task. Brian wasn't home so that made me the host as far as I was concerned.

Kevin stood just inside the door as I motioned Keith from the backyard into the house. He looked me in the eyes with a serious worried look in his eyes. I was suddenly taken back by the expression. I knew the look it was the look of distance. It was the harsh reality that his mother had one over the man I love.

Monet's...

"Brian calm down. Rowan will be here in 20 minutes and so will Jerry. Remember the plan. You take Jerry over into the bar to be seated in the back so no one sees you two. I will take Rowan right past the table after you two are seated. I want Jerry to see him. I think if this works there is no stopping this plan. When he sees him hopefully, he cares as much as you think. Otherwise you're stuck with him," Lee Ann said as she smiled at him sitting at the bar. They were early and there was no telling how it was all going to work out.

"I wouldn't mind that either," Brian said almost regretting this idea. He did like Jerry; he just didn't think he was the right one to fill his heart. It was already full.

"I know how you're feeling Brian," Dee said placing her arm around his shoulder from the other side of the two.

"He's early," Lee Ann said looking at Rowan standing at the entrance to the restaurant. Brian turned and was in shock as he saw Jerry enter right behind him.

"And so is Jerry," Brian said.

"That's Jerry?" Lee Ann asked see the man she had seen in photos on Rowans desk.

"They see each other," Dee said watching closely as the two stopped and smiled at one another. There was a moment when it all looked as if it was going to blow up.

"They're..." Brian paused to evaluate the situation closer. "Both smiling at one another," Brian was amazed at the smile that rose across Jerry's face.

"Point, Set, and Match. I think our work is done," Dee said watching as the two embraced.

'Think we should tell them what we are up too," Brian asked.

"We really should eventually," Lee Ann said as she watched them with the other two sitting next to her.

'Tomorrow," Brian said thinking back to the house where everyone was most likely still wondering what was going on. "After they have their night together," Brian finished turning back to his beer.

"Too late here they come," Dee said turning back to the bar and flagging down the bartender.

"Brian is that you," Jerry asked knowing full well it was.

"None other," Brian said turning back around to face his mess. "I would like you to meet." Lee Ann stepped in and interrupted him.

"Rowan, this is Brian, one of my best friend's," she finished for him.

"One of mine too," Jerry said laughing as he saw the look of nervousness on Brian's face. He knew Brian knew that he knew they had set this up. He wasn't mad he was smiling.

"Funny thing we should all meet here tonight," Rowan said slyly seeing the mischievous grin on Lee Ann's face.

"Funny true and there is only one table for two left," Brian said standing up and motioning the entire group to follow him.

"I guess there is a decision to be made as to who gets it," Brian said and looked at his watch. "Whoops I forgot I have that interview with Bob in 30 minutes Lee Ann, you two still coming with me to it right," Brian asked smiling at the two of them.

"Yes we are still going with you," Lee Ann said smiling at how red he was turning as all five of them now stood facing the table for two.

"It would be a shame for this table to go to waste though," Brian said.

"We could take it you know," Jerry said to Rowan who suddenly looked up at him and began to blush heavily.

"We could if you want to spend some time catching up," Rowan said smiling back at him.

"I would like that a lot," Jerry said as Brian, Lee Ann, and Dee began to walk away unnoticed.

"I missed you," Rowan said half shocking him, as he didn't mean to say it. It just happened.

"I missed you too," Jerry said in a full voice letting the two of them feel for the other as they each knew how this was to be. They took seats across from one another. But it was not to last as they slid the chairs closer together talking in whispers and smiles as their first night back together began.

Kevin's House...

AJ was the first to notice the look on Kevin's face and act.

"So Kevin where's your mom at," AJ asked.

"My office," he replied without looking at anyone in particular. Apparently he found his hands more interesting that the rest of us. I looked at him several time I was confused there was something missing. There was something I was over looking.

"Kevin I have a question for you and be honest," I said.

"Would I lie to you?" Kevin asked and I feared the answer of the question choosing to ignore it.

"Would you like for me to leave?" I asked and he looked up at me in feigned surprise. Everyone in the living room stopped all sound all breathing all motion. There was a nothingness about all of this. Kevin just stood there rolling it over in his mind and I noticed what I was missing. What he was missing.

"Kevin where is your ring?" I asked in a whisper hoping the words were a figment of my imagination.

No one said a word as they all left the room and headed out of the house. This was it I saw Keith look back at me with hesitation as he shook his head and walked out following everyone else. This was it, Kevin, Anne, and I, alone in the house to sort out our problem. But, was it our problem really? I knew in my heart the answer to this question but she was not my mother she was his. As he stood there slowly his right hand opened. I had not noticed him clutching it shut. I should have seen this coming. He was backing down. Whether it was out of respect for her or out of realization on not loving me, in the palm of his hand set the ring I had placed on his finger.

"I need you," Kevin said letting his tears fall.

"I know you to. But you didn't answer me Kevin," I said feeling a little relief in sight as I saw his emotions taking over. I was going to lose it soon. I was not going to be able to hold it in for long. Every word we now said would mean the future. Every word we felt come to our lips had to be judged.

"Don't leave me," Kevin said and my heart fell. He was upset, he was confused, he was emotional, and it was all due to a woman I didn't even know.

"She loves you Kevin, but if this is what she does to you when you show your true self how can you be happy. You are supposed to be able to share with her your joys in this life and your tears. She is supposed to support your decisions, as you grow older. And you should support hers too. But, what I can tell you is either way whether you two are family and showing it or not I will be here," I said stepping closer to him.

"And I hope I will always be here to help you," I said point at his forehead. "And here with you," I said placing my hand over his heart. His tears stopped as I took the ring from his hand and placed it on his finger. I didn't know it but Anne was standing at the bottom of the steps watching the entire scene.

"Kevin, you need to talk to me about this," Anne said shocking both of us.

"Why?" I asked for him as he stood in shock at the intrusion.

"I am his mother and I think it would be best," she answered.

"Okay you are his mother and he is a grown man. But Anne, what I don't get is from everything I have ever read about his family he is loved and supported. The net has a lot on you two and your wonderful relationship and how supportive you are," I said stopping long enough to drag Kevin over to couch.

"We have always been that way. I must say that I don't understand why you are here though. This is a conversation best set for the two of us in private. It doesn't concern you," Anne said still standing on the bottom step.

"Well, he is my heart as I am his. I think what you fail to realize is I am going to be here whether you agree to it or not. If Kevin wants me to leave then I will. But, I can tell you he wants me here and you are to deal with that. I'm not leaving him," I said leaning forwards on the couch and staring at her hard.

Howie & Glen...

"Baby I need to go home and make a call to my mom," Howie said as he drove along the street leading to Glen's house.

"It's okay hun I understand. You all have a lot going on and I can wait," Glen said smiling looking over at Howie.

"We really have come a long ways you know that," Howie said thinking about everything that they have gone through. As much as he loved Glen, there was still the question of loyalty in his mind. Glen had not been the most honest person before. But now he knew he was with him for good. There was no question in his mind what he had to do. He had to tell his mother.

"We have, haven't we?" Glen said thinking about how trusting they had all been. It was a great thing in his mind to finally be able to be himself again. For the last few months, he had felt so dark and dirty. He was beginning to wonder if he was even worth saving. He was lost but with Howie, he was found and all the wall and chains that held him in before were so easily removed.

Just as he was about to continue to speak the car stopped in front of his house.

"Howie I want you to know something." Glen paused not sure this was the right time. But he also knew if he didn't say it now he wasn't sure he would ever. Howie knew what was coming. It was time for confessions.

"I was wondering earlier while we were all sitting outside, if it was real. We said the words before but did we mean them? I know what I feel and I am scared to say I mean the words. I love you, I'm more sure of them than I have ever have been in my life," Glen said looking down at his hands as he rung them back and forth. Howie was touched and knew this was the truth Glen setting there all guards down all hesitation in his voice. Howie knew it was the truth because he felt it too.

"I know you're probably going to think I am just saying this because you did. But I will have you know I think about everything and every meaning. I love you too," Howie said taking his index finger and lifting Glen's eyes to meet his. They kissed a lingering kiss before Howie drove home. It was to be a long night. Far longer than any other he would ever experience in the rest of his life.

Kevin Living room...

"Hello Auntie how are you," Brian said as he walked into the silent living room.

"Good Brian," Anne said now sitting on the lower landing.

"I was wondering whose car that was out front. I guess it was your rental then," Brian asked in a curious tone. I could tell he was trying to figure out what was going on.

"That would be mine," Anne said. Brian froze in his tracks as he realized he was carrying the conversation.

"So, what is going on in here?" Brian asked not realizing he was opening up a complex issue.

"My son is gay," Anne said and Brian nodded his head at her.

"So," Brian replied setting down in a chair facing all of us.

"Why doesn't anyone else see the wrong in this?" Anne asked.

"Because there is nothing wrong with it in anyone else's minds," Brian said shrugging his shoulders as he said it.

"You of all people should understand my thoughts on this issue Brian. God says it is wrong," Anne said staring at him.

"Then God would have to hate his most cherished servants too. How long have I served God," Brian asked.

"Since you were a little boy," Anne answered.

"So does that make me a better or worse person over all," Brian asked setting her up.

"It makes you good in his eyes and everyone else who knows you," Anne said.

"But do they really know me," Brian asked and I could see where this was going as Kevin suddenly took an intense interest in the conversation.

"I would think so unless you are lying to all the people who you work with," Anne said.

"I am not lying to anyone. I choose to reveal what I need to. Judgment there for is not theirs when I omit the details," Brian said smiling at her.

"You are confusing me here. This is not about you, God, or trusting one another. This is about him breaking the oath of God's will and making a mockery of love and life!" Anne shouted.

"Do you love me for me," Brian calmly asked.

"Yes, of course I do," Anne replied slightly put out at the topic of her favorite nephew.

"But you hate Gay people right?" Brian asked.

"Not hate but dislike," Anne answered quickly.

"Then you now dislike your favorite nephew," Brian said standing up to meet Anne as she stood to leave. "Come by tomorrow and I will talk to you more. Right now, I am tired," Brian said breezing past her to head upstairs as she headed out of the house.

Anne was in shock, as she stood silent. Brian turned half way around while heading up the stairs. "Perhaps you should talk to my mom. She accepts me for me, she understands that love is unconditional too," Brian said before heading up the rest of the way to his room.

Kevin and I watched what we thought was the saddest moment in a person's life. Self-realization of change is what some would call it. To me it is what I would call the three fears. Fears of not knowing yourself, fear of the things you knew, fear of the thing you now know to be true. Anne was now upset but she would be back. We had to believe that. If we chased her out of the house when she left then she won. If we left her be she would change in some way. We couldn't do it for her and we wanted too. Kevin cried out into my shoulder, as we now set in a quiet blackness with the blinds closed and the house dark. No one had returned as we had been sitting here other than Brian and now ever he was gone. It was just us the two who loved one another for support and all I could do was hope and pray he would love me still in the morning.

Kevin and I neither one said a word as we headed up the stairs to go to bed it had been a long day too long in fact. We were both drained not from physical activity but emotional drain. It was going to be a well-deserved night of sleep. Kevin and I would talk in the morning. He would snap out of it just as Anne would. It would all work out and everyone would support us finally as we began our fight against Manerva and Miliken.

Howie's house...

It had been three hours since Howie had dropped Glen off at home and here he still set. He had talked to his mother about emotions and what he felt. They had an understanding never to discuss and disclose everything. They were close, but there were things they did not talk about. Details were not necessary, as she understood her son. He was a lot like her he was more like her than any of her children. Howie appreciated the comfort. They hardly had the time to talk most of the time. However, he had a standing invitation to call anytime he needed to talk.

Howie had finished talking to his mother fifteen minutes before AJ had showed up the two spoke a general greeting as AJ headed up to sleeep he and Fatima had another disagreement on control. However, Howie knew as they always did they would work it out. The two of them had been in a sort of mutual relationship for quite some time. Both to busy to realize that the other was interested. But neither was ignoring the fact that they were inseparable.

As Howie walked into his room, he heard the familiar ring of his cordless phone. There was an urge to pick it up but still he was in no hurry. He felt his legs give way as he walked across the room. He had finally crossed the line in his heart, as he knew he was doomed in every relationship he ever entered. He was demanding. He was childish. But, still he loved. He loved to the point of suffocation. Was it right to love so much so fast. He asked himself repeatedly in his head as he reached out with shaking hands to the phone.

"Hello," Howie faintly asked as he hit the phone button hoping who ever it was would give up and end the call.

"Howie are you alright?" Glen asked into the phone his voice quivering.

"Yeah," Howie said starring blankly as he heard the voice of concern.

"I know we have had a rough start Howie and I want to tell you something," Glen said as a loud siren went by his apartment window.

"What was that," Howie asked.

"Police are here," Glen said, as there was a knocking on his front door. "I just wanted you to know I love you and no matter what I will always stand by you," Glen said trailing off as the pounding became louder.

"What's going on," Howie shouted as he heard the police shouting on the other end of the phone.

"I did something tonight," Glen said quietly into the phone. "I know it was rash but I did it for you. For us," Glen said calmly as the front door sounded off crashing to the floor.

"What? What did you do Glen," Howie shouted as he heard the phone drop to the floor and Glen cried out in pain.

"Get away from me!" Glen shouted as he was tackled crashing into the table where he had been standing. He thrust himself up into the air fighting to get free. Several police officers charged at him as he broke free. But there was no stopping the attack, he was in pain, he had to get away. He felt his life ending at that moment it was all too surreal.

"Glen! Glen what's happing?" Howie shouted into the phone as AJ burst through the bedroom door. AJ grabbed the phone from his hand and heard nothing hanging it up only to hit the speakerphone button by accident.

"Freeze," one of the many police officers, shouted as Glen tried to run for the front door.

"What have I done wrong!" Glen shouted as he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You are under arrest you have the right." the officer said as he approached Glen from behind.

"Stop!" Glen shouted grabbing his side where the smashed picture frame had sliced him open.

"Freeze or I'll shoot!"

"I've done nothing wrong," Glen cried out as his side began to bleed. "Oh God I'm bleeding," Glen said in a whispered tone starting to turn around to show the officer.

"I said don't move! Drop the weapon!" the officer, shouted.

Glen was confused he had already lost a lot of blood and he was beginning to fade. There was nothing he could do all he wanted was more time to talk to Howie to explain what had happened. He had gone too far. He was allowed to see her. He only wished to help.

"I said stop!" the officer shouted again.

"What?" Glen mumbled as a shot was fired.

The speakerphone rumbled as Howie shouted at it. AJ tried to reach it in time. In time to shut it off. In time to stop it all from happening. Glen had been involved. AJ knew he was wrong about Glen. But something told him to stop what was happening. He too could not do anything to make it not happen. He too began to sob hard as he grabbed Howie who was trying to reach for the phone. The phone came back to normal as the crackle of the deafening roar faded and a man shouted in the background.

"Shit! All he had to do was stop," Smitty shouted as he rushed for the front door to get out.

"He's, still moving," Rorry shouted as he approached me lying still. I could feel my life drain from my body.

Glen's POV...

"Help me," I said trying to get them to stop the pain. "I didn't do anything wrong," I whispered. "I told Mom about him," I said thinking back to how happy my mother sounded as I told her the news. The news that a man had finally changed my life. "I saw her tonight, I made everything alright for everyone."

"You have no idea what's going on?" a young man asked while crouching over me.

"I need the phone I need to tell him not to worry," I said reaching out to the phone that still lay near by. "He's still listening, I know he is. Probably still worrying too," I said grinning through my blood filled lips. I knew he would be. I knew he would be worrying. It was his nature and it felt good to think he care.

"Howie," I said in a whisper into the phone. "I loved you enough to admit it to them," I said lying still, feeling a cold chill run through my body. My eyes became heavy; I was so tired I felt the night taking over my body.

"I love you too, hang on baby I'm coming," Howie said standing up and taking hold of his coat. AJ grabbed his wrist as he tried to pull away. AJ held his ground and pointed to the phone.

"I haven't got much time left here," I said letting my weakness break as my tears began to fall. "They never told me what they wanted," I said realizing I was still in a room full of cops. My whole body was hurting, it hurt so bad. I couldn't breathe well, my chest hurt. It must have come from the fall, but the fire burning in my side was telling me it was more. I began to cough to clear my throat. I suddenly realized it was no use when I coughed and my throat fill with warm liquid.

"Baby please hold on. Do it for me. No! Do it for us," Howie begged letting his tears escape his eyes for the hundredth time since this all began. He remembered leaving him there, why had he left him at home. He had been sure, so sure of his love for Glen. Now all he wanted to do was make it all better. Take him into his arms and forget this gruesome night.

"I love you Howie," Glen said before taking one of his final breaths filling his dying lungs.

"He's in here!" shouted Rorry standing in the doorway. The paramedics had arrived. It was not the first time they had seen Glen in the last few days. It was to be the last.

"Shut up, he's saying goodbye! Give him his peace already," the young man pleaded with the others.

"We may be able to save him," The Paramedics said as they wheeled their equipment in. As soon as they saw him, an uncertain frown crept upon their lips. Glen was already leaving this world as he let his last tears slip down his cheeks.

"Glen, please don't leave me. What am I going to do without the man who made me see the best in all things," Howie asked. He knew that since meeting Glen things are not always what they seemed. He knew that since knowing him nothing would ever seem the same again.

"A kiss is all I want from you right now," Glen whispered as he began to loose consciences.

"Then a kiss I place upon your lips. If this is the last time I kiss you may it last a thousand years," Howie said crying harder as AJ held him tight. He was still speaking into the speakerphone as he rocked back and forth helpless to the cries of his love.

"Goodbye Howie," Glen said in his last breath.

"Is he?" Rorry asked one of the Paramedics that leaned close by.

"I'm afraid so," he answered while reaching out and hanging up the phone.

"No!" Howie shouted abruptly standing up and throwing the phone at the door. "This is not how it's supposed to be!"

To Be Continued...

To answer a question... No I am not ending the series I have to much written at this point to just end it. So, if you want to ask me about it and what's going on let me know.

Writergray@aol.com

Next: Chapter 15


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