Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not represent the real people that might be mentioned here. If you are under 18 or if it is illegal to read this in the country where you live, the city where you are, etc. then don't. Again, this is just some fantasy I concocted in my head so don't get insulted.
Author's Note: I'm sorry for the lateness of this installment but so much have gone in my life that I had to take a moment and think about them. So, here's what I came up with. Eleanor Roosevelt said something in the likes that people come in and out of your life but it is those that leaves an imprint during their travels that is your friends. I, meanwhile, have a different sway upon that saying. People walk in and out of your lives but some people raise your hopes but on their way out they stomp on them. And as much as I am not one for lamentation, I can truly say I hate those people. They're hypocrites and don't deserve your friendship. I guess the moral of the story is to know who your true friends are because they're not the one who walks in and out of your lives...they're the one that stays with you through the end.
Finally, thanks for Nifty to having a site like this for our stories and to all those people who wrote me about the story.
Chapter 16: Don't Wanna Lose Written by: "Bear"
Justin parked Nick's four by four right in front of the door of the studio. He reached over the passenger side and grabbed the four folders that were lying on the seat. He got out of the vehicle carrying the folders giddy as could be. He showed his pass to the guard by the door and then walked into a very busy crew trying to arrange the sets for the shoot. Justin made his way to the back of the studio where there lied a small soundproof room where he knew everybody else were there.
As soon as he opened the door everybody's heads turned his way. Justin just smiled to himself knowing that this was getting to be a habit. He didn't mean to be late, it just happened that way. As soon as he walked in he said good morning to the guys happily. The guys kind of surprised from Justin's new attitude smiled back and said good morning. He walked around to Joey, JC, Lance, and Chris each giving them a folder. The guys kind of looked at the folder questioningly. "What's this?" Chris asked.
"Look." Justin answered simply before pulling out a chair from the table and sitting in it.
Everybody opened the folder and started to read it to themselves. Joey looked up from the papers for a second knowing where this was getting at. He looked at Justin who had the biggest smile on his face then to Lance who's face was starting to show tension. Joey didn't want to say anything at that moment so he went back to reading. As soon as Joey got to the point of the new schedule he heard a voice break the silence. "What the fuck is this?" Lance yelled out.
Everybody was surprised by Lance's reaction. It was unusual for Lance to swear. "Lance, calm down." Chris asked.
"No, I'm not gonna fucking calm down. What the hell is this shit?" Lance replied as he threw the folder across the room.
"It's a schedule. Can't you see?" Justin asked innocently.
"We know it's a schedule Justin. I think what Lance is getting at is why has our scheduled changed?" Chris asked calmly.
Joey looked at JC who again had started reading the papers in the folder. Joey knew that JC was gone. He wasn't going to get involved in this. It frustrated Joey more. He couldn't figure out what was the hell going on with JC. "The label decided it would be better to release it at a later date so I just brought it to you guys." Justin answered.
"They can't fucking do that. We have a contract. We can release it anytime we want."
"I think they just did Lance." Justin replied plainly.
Chris eyed Justin suspiciously. He knew something was up. "What the hell is this Justin? What did you do?" Joey asked.
Justin turned his head to Joey. "I didn't do anything Joey. I just brought the new schedule to you. What's wrong with that?"
"That's a fucking lie Justin and you know that. You're gone for one day and you come back with a new schedule. Now what the fuck did you do?" Joey asked yelling.
Chris looked from Joey to Lance who was now pacing back and forth. Chris knew that Lance was trying to calm himself down. Lance wasn't one for being angry and from what he could see Lance was trying as hard as he could. "I didn't do one single thing Joey." Justin replied calmly.
As soon as Justin finished his sentence the door slammed. Lance left the room to everybody's surprise. "We're not finished with this Justin." Joey said pointing his finger at Justin. "And you" Joey said looking at JC "would you please fucking say something." Joey said. JC looked up at Joey with bewildered eyes. JC then looked over to Justin and then looked away. He knew he couldn't do it. Joey seeing JC's reaction slammed his fists onto the table before leaving the room after Lance.
JC just shook his head before starting to read the papers again. JC was hiding all his emotions and Chris could see that it was tearing him apart. Chris couldn't stand it anymore he's been on the sidelines long enough. "Justin, please tell me why you did this?" Chris asked nicely.
Justin looked at JC momentarily, something in his heart still ached for his friend. "I told you Chris I didn't do anything. How many times do I have to repeat myself?" Justin replied getting a little choked up.
"Justin...Justin look at me. I know you did something, we all know you did something, you know you did something. I just want to know what you did and more importantly why?"
"I...I..." Justin was about to say but he couldn't let it out. He couldn't tell them the truth. "I didn't do anything." Justin finally said before looking away from Chris.
"I'm done with you Justin. I'm done with you. I'm done protecting you from the other guys. You're on your own. If you can't be honest with me then...then you're on your own." Chris yelled before leaving the room.
Justin's eyes started to water but he wouldn't let the tears fall. He had done something wrong to the guys but in the back of his mind it was something that he needed. He wanted and needed to do this for himself and no one could stop him at this moment from what he wanted. Justin got out of his chair and kneeled next to JC. JC was crying too behind the folder he was trying to read. Justin took the folder from JC's hands and closed it up and put it aside. He looked at JC's face but JC wouldn't look back. JC looked straight forward as if the folder was still there as he cried silently. Justin brought his hand up and tried to wipe away the tears from JC's cheeks. JC didn't react to his touch, not even a flich, but JC kept on crying his silent tears. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry C but I did it for love." Justin said quietly before placing a kiss upon JC's cheek. JC didn't react or even recognize Justin's action. Justin then got up from the floor and headed for the door leaving JC all alone with his thoughts.
++++++++++++
Justin drove down the lonely streets of Los Angeles alone. He was alone with his thoughts. It was about three a.m. in the morning and there were hardly anyone on the road at this time. Yesterday was bad, no it was terrible. He and the guys were confined in a small box and everyone knew there was tension in the air. They hardly said a word to each other unless they had to. Worst part of it they had to act like everything was fine because MTV was there filming a stupid show. Justin felt such a fake. He wished all of this could just disappear and he could just be with Nick. I mean that's all he ever wanted. He just wanted to be next to Nick. Justin just wanted to be at Nick's side.
It was not a very big thing to ask for but in his situation it was. The cost meant going to extreme measures. And extreme measures meant he had to take it into his own hands and if meant getting it dirty in the process he was more than willing to do it.
Today though was a little bit better. They all had separate vignettes to do so he didn't see the guys. Chris and Joey did their train thing while Lance and JC did their car thing. He wasn't surprised that Lance decided to join JC after all. Lance was suppose to be with Chris and Joey on the train but decided not to. Maybe he knew that JC wasn't doing all that well. That was another thing on Justin's mind, JC. JC, his best friend in the whole wide world and right now there was no communication going on between them. Maybe it was his fault, Justin knew that to a certain extent that it was partly his fault. He had caused this rift between their friendship. But what could he do. He was scared of what JC might think. JC is more than a best friend but he's everything. All the role models and all the categories that one would need in a person's life was embedded within JC. Justin would not only look up to JC but look for him for guidance. What they shared was much more than friendship and love but their souls connected but right now they're on two different corners. Justin hated that but he hoped that JC would understand when he finally had the courage to tell him.
His mom understood though. He didn't have to say the words which to Justin was more than a big relief. He could never lie to his mom or keep something as important as this hidden. His relationship to his mom was great. They communicated well and sometimes they didn't even need words to understand each other. Justin would just look into her eyes and she would understand that what he was doing was important and that he knew what it meant. His mom was wonderful that way. She would let him have his space but always have her arms open when he needed to come home.
JC on the other hand was a worry wart. That thought brought a smile on Justin's face. His relationship to JC was so much different than his mom's. JC worried so much more about him. Everything Justin did there would be JC right over his shoulder to check if he was okay. JC would be there in the morning to wake him up, to make sure that he knew what he had to do for the day, to make sure that he ate right, and was in bed in time to get enough sleep. Forever a guardian would JC be but right now Justin didn't need that. He could do that all by himself. He found that out a couple of weeks ago. It's so amazing how one event in a person's life could change you so much.
It wasn't even an event in Justin's life that changed him but more of a realization. A realization that he had grown up. The realization that he was capable of loving. And loving another person means a lot of responsibility. Responsibility for himself and for the person that he loved. And a relationship has its consequences and its attachments. A relationship is not just a sole entity but a network of things and right now that's what Justin wanted to do. He wanted to discover that relationship and that was the most important thing.
JC and him had always had a connection ever since they met and they've gotten used to the kinship they have. They both had roles to do and to fulfill but now it changed. Justin changed. And now it's hard figure out their new roles to play.
Justin shook these deep thoughts from his head as he entered Nick's driveway. He was tired from his late night shoot and these thoughts that he had were making his mind run. He pushed a button on the rearview mirror and saw the garage door open. Justin parked the vehicle inside before getting out. He made his way inside the house closing the garage door before stepping in. He walked through the dark kitchen while running a hand through his curly locks. Boy, was he tired. As he was walking towards the stairs he heard voices and laughing in the background. Curiosity got the better of him and walked towards the noise.
As he neared the family room he saw flickering lights in the dimmed room. When Justin reached the doorway a smile crept onto his face. There was Nick lying in the couch in front of the television. Justin walked over to his lover trying to get a better view of him. Justin's smile got wider. `He waited for me' he thought. Justin kneeled in front of the couch and examined Nick. His eyes were close, flickering slightly every now and then. He had his legs up into his body. As Justin's gaze wandered he saw the phone that was within Nick's hand. Nick was probably waiting for his call just in case. Justin took Nick's hands into his and slowly pulled the phone away from his grasp. Justin put the phone down before bringing his hands back upon Nick's face caressing it softly. Nick moaned instinctively as he turned his head upon Justin's hand.
Justin gradually leaned in as he set a small kiss upon Nick's lips. As Justin pulled away Nick's eyes slowly started to open. As Nick's blue eyes set upon Justin's face a smile slowly appeared upon his. Nick was happy that his boyfriend was finally back. "Hi." Nick sincerely said.
"Hi, yourself." Justin replied.
"You're back." Nick said happily
"You didn't have to wait up."
"I didn't have to...I just wanted to make sure." Nick said smiling slyly.
Justin recognized that smile. A smile he knew to be careful with. "What do you mean? Don't you trust me?" Justin asked mocking hurt.
"Oh...I trust you. As far as your dumb stick goes." Nick answered smiling.
"That hurt...that really hurts." Justin replied acting very badly.
"Uh huh..." Nick said. He was about to say something else when the phone rang. Nick looked into his hand and found the phone missing.
Justin grabbed the phone from the carpet and gave it to Nick. "Here you go."
"Thanks." Nick replied smiling before putting the phone to his ear. "Hello... hi... no you didn't wake me...yeah, he's here." Nick said looking over at Justin. "Yeah, thanks for calling...okay, sure let's get together sometime... lunch?... okay that's cool...give me a call for final details....okay bye...goodnight sweetie." Nick then pressed a button on the phone and then handed it back to Justin.
"So, who was that?" Justin asked a little curious with the `sweetie' nickname.
"A friend." Nick answered plainly.
"Yeah...uh huh" Justin replied wanting more information.
Nick then swung his legs around and positioned them on each side of Justin.
Nick then put his arms upon Justin's shoulders and leaned his face in. "If you must know that was my friend Kim."
"Kim?" Justin asked with a sigh of relief and curiosity.
"Yeah, you know...the girl that you were going to let yourself get catch by." Nick replied smiling.
"Uh...I don't know what you're talking about." Justin said playing dumb.
"Yeah, sure you don't...but I don't care as long as you come home to me at night then I'm all good." Nick said.
"I won't only come home to you at night but I want to spend every moment with you." Justin replied sweetly.
"Kiss me." Nick said not knowing what else to say. With Justin not needing anymore encouragement than that he slowly leaned in as he place his thin red lips upon Nick's. Electricity soon was exchanged between them as Justin carefully opened his mouth as his tongue entered Nick's. Nick was only glad to let Justin in as their tongue wrestled within Nick's sensuous mouth. As Justin pulled back from their lingering kiss they brought their forehead together and looked inside each other's souls. They smiled at each other before giving each other a little kiss on each other's lips.
"Come on. Let's get to bed." Justin said grabbing Nick's hand.
As Justin stood up from the carpet he pulled Nick from the couch. "I love you Justin." Nick said.
Justin immediately turned back towards Nick and smiled. "I love you too Nick." Justin replied running his thumb over Nick's hand. "Come on, let's get some sleep."
"Okay." Nick said walking towards Justin.
As they made their way out of the room Justin casually asked of Nick. "So...um...what else did Kim say to you?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Nick smiled back as they walked up the stairs.
++++++++++++
Joey groaned as he stepped out of his hotel room. He had just put on some pajama pants and the closest shirt he could find near his bed. It was way too early for this and he was still kind of tired. As he closed the door he rubbed the signs of sleep from his eyes and headed for Lance's room. `Can Lance be anymore of a pain in the ass?' Joey asked himself in thought.
Lance called him early in the morning demanding he get up and go to his room for a meeting. Joey tried to soothe his request and quickly fell back into bed but Lance called only a minute later waking him up again. As he headed for Lance's room he saw Chris step out of his own room in a similar state. They both looked at each other questioningly but was in no mental state to say any cunning remarks about each other at such an early time of day.
When they reached Lance's room Joey knocked and Lance quickly opened the door for them. To their surprise Lance was all ready and showered. Even after all these years Lance still amazes them with his energy and punctuality. "Hey guys...thanks for coming." Lance said as he stepped aside to let Joey and Chris in.
The two both groaned their goodmornings to Lance who let out a little giggle at their reply. "So, what's with the early wake-up call Scoop?" Chris asked trying supress his yawn and trying to focus on Lance.
Lance's demeanor suddenly changed. It quickly went into business mode. "We need to talk about Justin."
With the mention of Justin's name, Joey quickly sat up from the bed where he was laying before. Joey's sleepiness seemed to disappear as soon as the topic came up. He'd been wanting to talk about this for so long but nobody wanted to. Now that they were, he was all ears. "Okay, what about?" Joey asked.
"We have a situation you guys. We need to decide what we want to do and what we should do?" Lance replied.
Chris looked from Lance to Joey. He was a little unsure about this. This whole thing had a weird vive to it and he was feeling kind of guilty. "Are...are we sure we want to talk about this?" Chris asked.
"We need to talk about this, Chris." Joey replied. "I've been wanting to talk about this for weeks but nobody wanted to. We have to figure out what's going on and we need to know what our actions are going to be."
"But...but, it feels like we're doing this on our own. I feel like we're rebelling or something. I just feel kind of guilty doing this." Chris said.
"What do you think Justin did? He went over our heads, Chris. He went straight to the label and told them to hold off on the album." Joey said with his voice raising.
"You don't know that Joe. Don't be accusing him of anything that's not substancial." Chris tried to defend Justin. As he did so he felt both good and bad. He was trying to protect a friend but he also knew he had promised himself that he was through with protecting Justin.
"Come on, Chris. Don't play dumb. You know he did something. Through the whole meeting he wanted to delay the release and then he's gone from one rehearsal and he comes back with a new schedule. Now, that seems suspicious to me." Joey said trying to relay all the information that had been swimming in his head in the last couple of days. "Don't you think so Scoop?" Joey added.
Lance looked from Joey to Chris. He nodded his head. "I'm afraid so Chris. I'd have to agree with Joey on this one. It just seems way too coincidental for those two things to happen. Plus, any changes that the label or Johnny would make would usually go through me first. They wouldn't go to Justin unless it only concerned him and not the group. Anything concerning Nsync goes through me and then I rely it to you guys. Justin must have done something."
Chris shifted his gaze from Lance onto the floor. He was trying to search for an answer or maybe seeking for courage. As he thought it over his other two bandmates watch over him waiting for his reaction. "O...okay, Lance. I guess Just might have been involved." Chris said agreeing with them. He felt so dejected though. He had just abandoned a friend. A friend who started this group with him. They had started out with so much hope and so many dreams. They shared all those things but now it just seemed that he had just lost all that with those words he had just muttured.
"Okay, Scoop so what do we do?" Joey asked eagerly.
"Wait...wait." Chris said snapping his head up to his two bandmates. "Shouldn't JC be here for this? I mean...he's part of this too isn't he?" Chris asked.
Joey looked from Chris to Lance. Joey knew that if JC was involved it would be much harder. JC and Justin might not be the best of friends right now but Joey knew that JC would not do one action against Justin. "I...I..." Joey tried to say.
"I don't think we should get him involved in this...yet." Lance said.
"But...but why?" Chris asked getting flustered with the whole situation.
Lance momentarily glanced over at Joey making sure that Joey would agree with him. "He's...JC's not in the best state right now. He's way too emotional to make any kind of sensible decision, Chris. This whole thing with Justin and him has hit him very hard. I mean..." Lance look over at Joey again for a little help. "I mean you've seen him. He hardly says a word now and whenever Justin's around he's like comatose." Lance said while Joey nodded his head in agreement.
Chris again looked over his bandmates. He felt so lost that he just nodded his head in agreement also. "So, going back. What are we gonna do?" Joey once again asked.
Lance pulled a chair out and sat in front of them. "Well, first things first. We need to figure out what Justin's been up to. What he's been doing the last couple of weeks? Where he's been staying? We need to know all his actions...to see who he's been in contact with. If its with the label, the managers, security. We need to know how he's doing this and how's getting around. And most importantly we've got to be discreet about it...if JC senses anything you know where he'll turn to."
"This...this just seems so wrong...so bad. I mean we're doing these things behind people's back, keeping secrets." Chris said softly still staring onto the floor.
Lance rolled his eyes and looked to Joey for help. Joey turned his body around towards Chris. In a very soothing voice Joey said, "Chris, we're just trying to find out what's going on. We just want to know the truth so...so that we know what we're into so that we know what we have to do."
Chris once again nodded his head in agreement losing the will to fight back his two bandmates. "So, as I was saying." Lance continued. "We need to know how's his doing this because it's certainly not through me. Limo arrangements, flights, hotel, all those expenses go through me and Justin's movements doesn't even appear in them. So either he's paying for this out of his own pocket or somebody's supplying him with it."
"Okay, so how do we do that?" Joey asked.
"I've already got people working on it. Justin must have had left some trace of his whereabouts. He flew to L.A. didn't he? A limo picked him up and dropped him off. I'm trying to get a hold of credit card statements." Lance said. Chris instantly shrunk in his posture. This was getting out of hand. They're invading Justin's privacy but he knew he could do nothing about it. "But that's just small pickings. What's the big thing is why is Justin doing this? What is his goal? Maybe these things will help us figure that out but we need to be ready to do anything at any cost." Lance said.
Lance looked over to Joey who was agreeing with him wholeheartedly. His gaze them traveled to Chris who was just nodding his head as he stared onto the ground. Lance was worried about this. `What's going on in Chris' mind? What's he gonna do?' Lance wondered.
Chris simply shook his head but inside he was a wreck. Three words simply echoed within his conscious over and over again. "at any cost...at any cost...at any cost."
+++++++++++
In a very stuffy boardroom in one of those big offices, three guys waited for their representative to come in. Soon after a man in a black suit with his hair slick back walked in with a briefcase. The thirtyish old man opened his leather briefcase and pulled out brown folders which he passed to the person on his left. The folders made their rounds as each person held onto one. "Boys, it's nice to see you again." The three men in the room nodded their head in reply. "Well, I'm happy to tell you that The Firm has gotten back to us. And their reply is a yes to our offer. If you'll open your folders you'll see that you'll be opening for the Backstreet Boys in their upcoming tour." The blond haired youth quickly looked up to man in surprise and happiness. "As you'll see the tour starts in a few weeks and you're booked for every show. This is a great opportunity for you guys. I'm very happy for you."
A couple of hours later the tall blond haired youth ran out of the building in euphoria. He screamed loudly in the parking lot. He just laughed after a couple people looked his way. Soon after a brown haired guy about his height came after him. "So, I take it that you're happy?" he asked his friend.
The blond haired youth turned around. "Does it look like it? Can you believe it...the Backstreet Boys." He said holding his friend at his shoulders and shaking him.
"Yeah, I can believe it. The Backstreet Boys but I think what you have in mind is one Backstreet Boy."
The blond haired youth cocked his eye at his friend and let him go. "Whatever."
Then the third member of their group, a guy with brown hair but a little bit shorter than the other two came to join them. "Hey, what was the scream about?" he asked.
"Oh, Nice here was excited that he going to see..." The blond haired youth quickly turned around and eyed his friend. "Um...he's excited to see that we're going to be on the road again."
"K, so what are you guys doing now?" he asked.
"I'm going back to my apartment." The blond haired youth answered.
"Me...I'm not doing nothin'. I'll probly just chill."
"Okay, so I guess I'll just do the same thing. Give me a call if you guys get bored or something. We'll go out."
"Yeah, sure." The blond haired youth answered back. They all walked to their cars with the blond haired youth going with his friend. "Why don't you ever take your own car to meetings huh?"
"I don't know. I guess I ain't into the whole driving thang." His friend replied.
"Sure...you're just a lazy ass."
"Maybe so but I ain't the one looking like he's a bozo."
"Huh?"
"Could you please wipe that smile off your face. You've been like that ever since Steve told us we're going on tour with the Baaaackstreet Boys."
"I am not."
"Oh please. You look like a dufus on heroin or something. I've never seen you smile so much. I don't know what the big deal is. He's just like any other guy around. Plus he's ain't even hot if you ask me."
"I didn't ask you. Like I would take your word for it. This from a straight guy."
"A straight guy with taste. Plus come on. He's freakin' oggly. First you've got that hair. That whole mop dew went out five minutes ago. Then you've got the body. Not built I tell you. Fit but not built. Then you've got that name. Who wants to be named that. That's probly why he has so many nicknames. Nobody would ever want to be name..."
"Shut up. Don't even go there." The blond haired youth interrupted his friend. "I can take you judging him and dissing him but if I hear his name come out of your mouth my foot is gonna be up your ass so fast you won't even know it."
"Ohhhh...I'm scared." His friend acted.
He just gave him back an evil stare. "And anyway, when you say his name you ruin it. When I say it...it has flow, it has care, there's feeling in it."
"Please..." his friend acting like he was gonna throw up. "Too much corn in the car."
"That's it. If you're gonna be like that you can find your own ride back home." The blond haired youth answered exiting off the highway. Soon enough they parked near an apartment building. The two youths got out of the vehicle and walked up to the apartment.
"So, come on. I already said I'm sorry. So, will you drive me back later?"
"Maybe." The blond haired youth answered. "That's what you get for not taking your own car."
"In your own words, `whatever.'" His friend answered back.
The blond haired youth left his friend and entered his room. As soon as he entered he immediately closed the door. He started to take off his jacket and shoes when he suddenly heard the door open. "Man...this looks like a shrine or something."
"Uhhh...don't you know how to knock?" he asked his friend.
"Yeah but I didn't want to. God, how long have I not been in this room?"
"Awhile..."
"Now, I know why you never let us in here." His friend said laying on the bed.
"And why is that?"
"Because of these...because of that poster on your ceiling."
The blond haired youth approached the bed and laid down next to his best friend. "Yeah, isn't he cute in that picture. His blue eyes just captures you and speaks to you. Sometimes I just look up at him for hours."
"Damn...too much corn in this room too."
"Start again and you'll never get home."
"Yeah whatever...I got to get out of this room. It's getting to me." He said as he was getting up. "Man...he's on the back of your door too."
"What can I say?"
"I still don't know what you see in him. My best friend in love with a Backstreet Boy. Now, that's one for the tabloids." His friend said before walking out of the room.
+++++++++++
The Nsync guys stepped outside the MTV Studios in New York into a huge group of screaming girls. They made their way through the crowd with some of the guys signing autographs and receiving some of the gifts their fans gave them. As they walked towards the curve one of them made a turn for another limo. "There he goes again... into that other car with god knows who." Joey said to Lance.
"Yup...there he goes." Lance agreed as Justin stepped inside the white limousine and then saw it as it began to drive away.
"So, have you figured out who it is that's in there or even how's he's getting around without going through our accountant." Joey asked as JC was almost to their limo while Chris on the other hand was still signing some girls' magazine.
"Nope...haven't got a clue. However he's doing this. He's not leaving any traces. I can't get a hold of anything. Nothing is in his credit cards. There's no transactions at all. Whoever it is...that person is paying Justin and Justin's way."
As JC stepped inside the limo, Chris was soon to follow. Joey and Lance meanwhile moved slower so that they could talk more without the other guys. "So, what's the plan Scoop?"
"What plan? There's no plan." Lance answered back. "We're just trying to get some information."
"Chris is not here Lance. And I'm not Chris. I can see the wheels turning in your head. You've got something going on."
"Maybe I do Joey but let's keep it on the down low right now. People could get hurt and the less people who know about this the better it is. Trust me for now, okay?"
"I wouldn't do anything less Scoop. You've got my full confidence."
"And let's not get this to Chris and JC. I'm not too confident on how they'll react."
"Oh yeah, Scoop. No problem. You do what you have to do. I know it's for the overall good for the group."
Meanwhile, inside the limo Chris was acting very agitatedly. He's been watching JC for the last couple of days. JC would put on that mask whenever they were in front of the camera or at an appearance. He would be all happy and hyper but Chris saw what the public didn't. He saw a confuse and lost man. Chris was worried about JC but he was also worried about Justin. After the talk with him, Lance, and Joey he was worried about what was going to happen. He didn't like how the other guys were talking. It was two against one and he couldn't win. He didn't have the power or the guts to take them on. He looked to JC for some kind of help but most of the time JC was a comatose whenever they were together. The other guys kept saying it was for the good of the group. It was good for the group. But Chris knew that sometimes what is good for the majority is not the very best for the minority. Chris knew full well that what might happen is good for Lance, Joey, JC, and even him but he knew that Justin would be left in the dust.
He was worried about what could happen to Justin and he knew that what kept JC like this was the whole Justin issue. Chris didn't know how to solve it or even try to make the situation better. It just seemed that everyone went off and got their own agenda and that's what they were doing. He didn't know what to do. Justin was off doing something...something they didn't know about. Which set off Lance and Joey to try to hold the group together or go on this mission to save the group. Which then made JC become a loner...hardly talking to anyone. Always just by himself trying to think or sleep his worries away. Which left him, Chris was the one who was the only one trying to solve this little crisis of theirs. And most importantly, he didn't know where to start.
Finally, he looked over to his friend. At least he was there. Maybe that's a start. "JC...I think we should talk."
JC seem to come out of his own world as Chris mentioned his name. "Um... sorry, Chris. What'd you say?"
Chris moved from his seat to the one next to JC. He turned his body so that he could look straight into JC's face. "I said that we should talk."
"Um...okay. What do you want to talk about?"
"C, please don't that. You know exactly what I want to talk about."
"Chris please. Just leave it alone."
"I can't leave it alone. C, look what this is doing to us. Look what this is doing to you. I haven't seen you truly smile or laugh in weeks."
JC looked into Chris' face sincerely. "I'm fine Chris, trust me."
"You might fool yourself that you're fine but anybody can see that you're not. We need to talk this out. You need to talk this out. You're keeping everything inside and it's not helping anybody. First it would help you get out of this mood that you've been in for weeks and second it would help us, me and the guys. We're so disoriented C. We used to work together so well. We all fell into natural roles but now its like...its like we're out in the desert without a map and everybody just went on their separate ways. Well, guess what C? It's not working. We all need to come together and talk this out before thing that we might regret happen."
JC casually looked away from Chris. He was trying to digest all the words that Chris gave him. In almost a whisper JC answered Chris, "I'm lost...I'm lost too Chris. I don't know what to do. Things used to come so naturally. I didn't have to stop and think about what I should do or how I should act. I didn't have to ask myself if what I was going to do was wrong. I never had to second-guess myself. I just knew and everything seemed to be all right but now nothing seems to be what it should be. It's all in shambles and I don't know if I can do anything to fix it. I feel so helpless."
"C, you've got to get over this. Look at me. Look at me." Chris said trying to make JC face him again. "We can't control everything we want. When things don't go the way we want then we adjust and see where it takes us. And you...you know yourself. Just because things doesn't seem okay right now doesn't mean that you have to stop being you. Don't let it win C. Overcome it and then grow."
"Chris, you say it like it's so easy."
"It is that easy C. You're too strong to let this get you down."
"I just feel like in a deep dark well and I have no way to get up."
"I'm right here C. I'm your way out."
JC looked and examined Chris thoroughly. There was a light around Chris like it was a way home or something. The way Chris genuinely meant what he was saying. JC found solace and hope in him. JC then smiled happily at his friend. "Thanks Chris. I'm glad that you're here with me."
"I'm just glad that you're coming back." Chris said happily as he looked into JC's face. Chris saw sincerity in JC face but there was still something there. "What's wrong?"
JC paused for a second and tried to put his thoughts into words. "Justin."
Chris took a deep breath as if that word brought about it heavy material. "Justin, huh. He's the cause of this but we're the consequences of it."
JC tried to figure out what Chris meant but instead shook it off. "I mean...I feel lost without him here. He always...he..."
"He always gave you a role to play." Chris completed for JC.
"Huh?" JC asked.
"Justin always gave you a role to play, C. He gave you a reason to act a certain way. He needed somebody to look out for him so you were there. He needed a father figure so you filled in. When he needed an older brother type to guide him in his decisions you did just that. And when he needed to be a little kid you were that for him too. You played with him and got off being just as goofy and playful as him. He gave you a reason."
"I...I..."
"It's not that hard to see C. Anybody who looks at the two of you long enough can see that you two just fit together like two pieces of the puzzle. And you liked that because of just the type of person you are. You took care of Justin and help him be who he is today but you know what C. You did too good of a job. Now, Justin gave you a curve ball. You taught him so well to be self-reliant. To follow his heart and to know what he wants that right now he's probably doing just that. And you know where that leaves you. It leaves you without a role to play."
JC just tried to take in all the words and Chris had given him. He had never seen this side of Chris before. "How...how did you ever get so smart huh Chris?"
"It's the old age C. I think it's catching up to me." Chris tried to joke with his friend. As soon as Chris was finished with his sentence the door to the limo opened revealing Lance and Joey. They both stepped in and sat down on the opposite seat. As Lance and Joey saw Chris and especially JC they both knew that something had happened.
+++++++++++++
The white limousine carrying one of the most dreamed about guys in the world stopped in front of the Plaza Hotel in New York. The doorman ran up to the limo and opened the door. Justin stepped out and took a quick look around. His driver came around the car and approached him. "It's the top floor Mr. Timberlake. He'll be waiting for you. Here is your keycard." The driver said offering Justin the card.
"Thank you." Justin replied grabbing the card off the driver's hand as he then walked to enter the hotel.
Justin made his way through the hotel in awe. He had been in many hotels all over the world and many of them the finest that city can offer but this was different. It was on another level...this was the Plaza and New York. As the elevator rose to the top floor Justin's heart started to beat a little faster. He was excited to say the least.
As the elevator made a noise announcing their arrival to the top floor, the elevator doors opened. Justin stepped out into a very refined looking hallway. He looked around and saw sidetables with bouquets of flower and then mirrors on top. There was only one door in the hallway and that was the one in front of him. He stepped closer to the door and used his keycard to get access. The door unlocked and Justin carefully opened the door and made his way inside the penthouse.
Justin stepped into a luxurious living space that could be larger than people's houses. In the far wall there was three huge double doors that seemed to lead to a balcony. Justin was used to luxury but this was beyond what he was used to.
As he made his way through the room he looked for any sign of his love. Since Justin couldn't find him in any of the living area he made his way to the bedroom. As he approached the room he could see that the door was ajar. He slightly called out Nick's name trying to figure out if he was really in there.
Justin lightly pushed the door more to open. As Justin stepped inside the immense bedroom he saw a figure upon the four-post bed. When Justin stood on one side of the bed he saw Nick lying comfortably on the bed wearing a white robe. "He's asleep." Justin said to himself. Not wanting to disturb Nick in his slumber Justin decided to take a shower. Their performance at MTV was quite a workout and getting away from those girls was like running a marathon.
When Justin entered the bathroom he stripped down and then turned on the water in the shower. As the water cascaded down his fit and tight body all the tension seemed to wash away with it. Any sort of thinking or question left his body and he felt a sense of relief. The only thing that was left inside of Justin was his soul and his love for that person who was sleeping in the other room.
As Justin finished his shower he stepped out and grabbed a towel. He dried himself completely moving the soft cloth allover his body. When he was finished he saw a robe, identical to Nick's that was folded neatly upon the counter. He put it upon himself and tied it in the front. Justin walked back inside the bedroom and longingly look back to the bed. A smile crept upon his face as he saw the love of his life still in dreamland. He walked towards the pants he had discarded and picked it up. Justin looked for a particular pocket in the pants and tried to get out what he was looking for. A warm feeling embodied Justin's soul as he found the small velvet box. He held it upon his right hand thinking back to when he had gotten it. Justin wanted to get something special for Nick and it took him awhile to actually figure out what his feelings were telling him. With the box still within his hand he turned slightly looking back to Nick. His smile became broader as he thought about what this would mean. Justin just nodded to himself as he knew this was right. There was no question about it.
Justin walked towards the bed which cradled the man he loved. He wanted to hold Nick, it had been a long day and it always seemed to be an eternity whenever he left Nick to going back to him. As Justin reached the bed, he carefully put down the purple velvet box upon the bedside table before crawling next to Nick. Justin moved cautiously as he tried to put his left hand under Nick's body. As if in instinct, Nick let Justin embrace him and move closer to the warmth that Justin held. Soon enough though, Nick's head laid comfortably upon Justin's chest as Justin's arms embraced Nick. Justin breathed a sigh of relief as he felt a sense of completeness. This was perfect. This was where he wanted to be and what he wanted to be doing. Just holding his love.
++++++++++++
Nick woke up alone the next morning but with a red rose upon the pillow next to him. Now, he was on plane on its way back to Orlando. He wasn't looking forward to what was waiting for him back there. A big party with many people. Nick was used to performing in front of thousands of people but conversing with them was another story. He preferred to keep things intimate. Something he's had grown to hold important more and more in the last couple of years. His public life was so public that as much as possible the part of his private life that he's able to make private, he wanted to keep it private. As the plane approached Orlando airport he groaned as he knew he would rather be elsewhere, in another part of the country with a very special guy.
Nick turned the key in the lock before pushing the door in. He took a deep breath and a big sigh of relief as he entered his home. He made his way into the living room and sat down before sitting back and closing his eyes. But soon enough the sound of joyous voices entered his home disrupting his moment of silence. Nick felt the cushion next to home depress as he slowly opened his eyes and turned his head. "Tired Nicky?"
"No, tired of fake people and I'm tired of acting nice to them."
"Well, at least now it's just us and you can drop that fa‡ade of yours."
"Thanks D." Nick replied sincerely. "This really means a lot to me."
"Hey, no prob...especially for the cutest member of the Backstreet Boys."
Nick's eyebrows raised. "Are you hitting on me, Howie D?" Nick said slyly.
"In your dreams Nicky." Howie said giving Nick a slight nudge in his ribs.
"Maybe in your dreams, D." Nick laugh which caused Howie to laugh too. "Where's the others?"
"Rok and Bone are in the kitchen arguing what we should eat and Kevy is supervising." Howie answered rolling his eyes.
"Betcha five bucks Bone wins and we end up eating pizza with weird toppings." Nick said.
Howie thought about it for a second before jumping up off the couch. "Dammit...you're right. I've better get my word in before it happens." Howie said running.
Nick simply laughed as he watched his friend scurry into the kitchen. As soon as Howie left his sight it wasn't long Nick saw Kevin walking his way. Kevin had a look of amusement in face. People always thought Kevin was serious and stuff but Nick always got to see a different side of him. I guess Kevin felt a little bit more comfortable around him so that Kevin could show a more light hearted aspect of his personality. "So...what's the verdict?" Nick asked.
"Pizza." Kevin answered with a big grin.
"Let me guess...extra cheese with some unpronounceable Asian fish in it and some greens that I wouldn't know the name of." Nick said.
"Yup, that would be it...but don't worry I got them to order some Chinese too so the regular people could it." Kevin told Nick.
"Good because I don't think my stomach can handle anymore special cuisine."
"Yeah, what was that that we were eating?" Kevin asked.
"I love my mom but that food...I don't know where it came from or what it was. All I wanted was a cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake but she opted out for the grand fancy dinner."
"Yeah, there were a lot of people there. Do you guys even know all of them?"
"I don't know half of those people." Nick answered honestly. "I don't even know if my mom knew them. I just didn't care after awhile. I just let them have it their way."
Kevin moved closer to Nick putting his arm around his shoulders. Kevin lightly squeezed Nick's shoulder for comfort. "That's okay Nicky. That was their party. Tonight...this is your birthday party. Just the way you want...the guys, a movie, some food, and a little piece and quiet."
Nick shifted in the couch and let his head fall upon Kevin's shoulder. "Thanks Kev...for doing this. It really means a lot for us to do this together...specially today."
"Happy Birthday Nick." Kevin said before placing a kiss upon the top of Nick's head.
The other guys soon walked in all chatting up a storm. Both Kevin and Nick moved away from each other and look back at Howie, Brian, and AJ still arguing about the food. Nick inwardly smiled to himself at the thought that even through it all whenever they got together they could just act goofy and be seven year old kids again.
"Give me some." Howie asked whining.
"No!" AJ replied. "Get one of your own."
Brian meanwhile didn't asked and grabbed the box from AJ's hand which instantly got him a smack on the head which in turn gave AJ the opportunity to grab the box back. "That hurt Bone." Brian said.
"You deserve it for stealing someone else's food."
"It's not yours too...its Nick's so give me some." Howie told AJ.
"Yeah, give it." Brian added.
"I told you to get your own. There's tons in the cupboard." AJ replied.
"You suck." Howie said before turning a look a Brian. They both took a quick look in each other's eyes before running back into the kitchen. Soon the heard the cupboard's doors opening and the two yelling at each other. Kevin and Nick shared a quick laugh at what just happened.
AJ then approach the couch that held Kevin and Nick with box in hand. "So, what's the deal Nicky?"
"What's the deal with what?" Nick asked.
"With all the boxes of cereal." AJ said raising his own box to Nick. "There's like tons allover the place."
Nick blushed for a second not knowing how to answer. He then made a quick glance to Kevin for a little bit of support. "I..."
"Nick's storing up." Kevin interrupted. "He was worried about the whole Y2K thing so he stored up on cereal." Kevin continued.
AJ just gave a small laugh. "That's really sad Nick...really sad. You should never be taken by those things. It was nothing...see we're still here."
"Yeah...I guess it was a little foolish of me." Nick answered.
"It's cool...at least we've got cereal whenever we want." AJ reassured Nick.
"I guess we do." Nick replied shooting a thank you look towards Kevin.
"That was not funny!" Nick yelled back as he walked away from the family room.
"Yes it was." Nick heard a unison of voices say back to him.
"No, its not!" Nick yelled back before walking out of ear's range. They had just finished watching a scary movie and of course AJ thought it would be funny to scare him right at the end. It shouldn't have caught him by surprise after all AJ's done it so many times before but this time he wasn't thinking about it. Nick kept walking to the kitchen with bowl in hand. They had ran out of popcorn so he was gonna get some more. Nick opened a package of microwaveable popcorn and threw it in the microwave. He was turning around when, "Shit!" Nick yelled out.
"Sorry."
"Damn...don't do that." Nick answered back. "You could have given me a heart attack."
He simply rolled his eyes. "Nick, do you know who you're talking to?"
"Ooops, yeah...my bad. But still don't sneak up on me."
"Yeah, I forget how you get after we watch these kind of flicks."
"Well, I don't have you to hold me at night anymore and protect me from all the monsters." Nick tried to joke.
A grim smile spread over his chiseled face. "Ahh...yeah." He said quietly.
"It was a joke Rok. Take it easy." Nick tried to soothe his friend.
"Yeah...no harm done." Brian answered back.
"So...what's up?" Nick asked.
"Whatcha mean?" Brian asked back.
"I mean you following me in here. Do you want something?" Nick replied.
"Oh yeah." Brian said smiling. "I've got something for you." Brian continued with a twinkle in his eye.
"Really? What is it?" Nick asked excitedly.
"I wanted to give you your birthday present." Brian replied to Nick. Nick looked on excitedly as Brian reached into his pants pocket and pulled a thick long gold chain. "I got this for you. I hope you like it." Brian said holding the chain up in front of Nick.
"Oh, Frick...it's...it's...thank you." Nick answered as he touched the gold links with the tips of his fingers.
"You really like it?" Brian asked sincerely.
Nick took his gaze away from the golden chain to look into Brian's eyes. "I love it Rok. It's wonderful." Nick answered giving Brian a sincere embrace.
As they separated Brian said, "Here...let me put it on you." He said happily. Nick leaned in as Brian unclasped the lock and put the chain around Nick's neck and then securing it again. As Brian was pulling back he caught onto Nick's beautiful blue eyes. With his own sapphire eyes piercing Nick's soul the moment took over. Brian slowly leaned in and placed a lingering kiss upon Nick's slender lips. They caressed each other's lips momentarily closing their eyes in the process and then pulling back as slowly as they came together. With their faces only inches apart they once again lost each in their eyes as Brian placed a sweet tender peck upon Nick's closed lips. "Happy Birthday Nick." Brian said.
Nick couldn't reply for a second as the moment slowly faded. Now different thought entered his mind and confusion once again took over. "Um...thanks Brian."
"You're welcome." Brian said happily as he walked over to the microwave and took out the popcorn. Brian opened it and poured it back into the bowl. He was about to walk out of the kitchen when he noticed that Nick was still standing there. "Nick, are you coming or what?" Brian asked.
Nick shook out of his trance for a second as he stared at Brian. "I'll...I'll be right there Brian. I...I just have to do something."
"Okay, but hurry up cause you don't want to miss the ending."
"Sure...I'll be right there." Nick replied as he walked to the opposite direction that Brian was walking to. As Nick approached the stairs he slowly walked up taking each step carefully. It seemed like an eternity before he reached the top and even longer as he finally reached his room. There was a different impression the room now exuded upon him. Guiltily he walked towards his dresser and gazed upon the velvet box that laid on top of it. He carefully reached out for the object held it tight within his grasp. A single tear started to well up in his eye. "I do love you Justin. I really do love you." Nick told himself again and again.
++++++++++++
Justin's eyes darted from left to right trying to find anyone or anything. His mind was racing and so did everything around him it seemed. `How could this happen?' he asked himself. He was in the middle of everything. Everybody's here, this crowd all excited for the Superbowl. Maybe that's it, they were too involved in something else to even notice what was going on. He felt a hard push behind him as he immediately quickened his step.
Finally, Justin took a deep sigh of relief as he was about to pass Joey. Maybe he could help him but what could he do. He couldn't yell out to him that would only cause more trouble. He was scared but he was more scared of what might happen to him afterwards. Maybe he could mouth something to Joey or maybe Joey will be able to see it in his face that he was in trouble.
Joey was talking to a couple of girls but he was able to shift his gaze towards Justin. As Justin saw this he tried to mouth, Help...Help me.' Also Justin tried to show him a face of concern but it seemed like Joey didn't get it because he turned around and talk to the group of girls more. Now Justin became more panicked. God, please help me.' He prayed to himself quietly. `What does this guy want. Please don't let him kill me.' Justin said as he once again felt the steel object hit his back making him move faster.
They were about to reach the doors. They were about to leave the convention area. Justin was really scared, no he was terrifed. He was sweat trickling down his forehead as he tried to weigh the possibilities. What if I scream...no then he might shoot me. Maybe...maybe if I ran then he wouldn't be able to get me but...but then he might just start shooting at everybody.' That even scared him more. He didn't want innocent people injured. Think...think. Come on Just, think of a way out of this.' Justin chastised himself internally.
Justin took another deep sigh of relief as he saw Lance near the doors talking to the security people. `Please, let them notice. Please Lance know what's happening.' Justin prayed as he once again got push forward. As he was about to pass Lance he tried to stare intently into Lance's eyes trying to make him look towards the man that stood behind him. With a look of terror upon Justin's face he tried to make Lance know that something bad was happening to him. That he needed help. But to no avail as Lance didn't seem to notice either just like Joey.
The sun and air of outside seemed different as if it carried a sense of danger with it as soon as Justin stepped out. He was shivering and shaking as he was walking into the parking lot. He didn't have any ideas left. He was totally panicked. He had no way out. Soon enough, Justin got pushed into an awaiting car that speed out of the area.