Don't take shit from no one. A Christmas story.
Maxieplus.
It's the silly season again and in about five days' time Christmas will be upon us. Santa Clause and his reindeer will be dropping presents down the chimneys for the kiddies. There will be endless Christmas parties, family get togethers and many, many arguments about where you want to spend the day. Fortunately, there's only me so I will just enjoy my day relaxing with a bottle of champagne by my side.
Oh and then there's Joe Roberts.
"And don't fucking come back you stupid fucking idiot!" I heard coming from next door. I sipped my coffee and laughed to myself as an image of some poor door knocker had another one slammed in their face.
Joe Roberts is my next door neighbour, he's tall, dark and handsome with excruciatingly beautiful, piercing blue eyes. A body so pumped and toned - this one could dine on it forever. Everything a gay boy like myself would want in this world, unfortunately he's very untouchable, and there's that other problem. He has the temperament of a mad alley cat with a sore tooth.
My first contact with him was when I moved into this apartment. He obviously didn't like my music and even though I had never met him officially. I knew he didn't like it because a heavy metal CD was slipped under the door the very next day. I had been settling my apartment and was listening to some mood music. My music tastes don't stretch too far- I only play what I feel like at the time.
I have run into him a few times at the mail boxes, he's grunted I've nodded. That was it, no introductions, no welcome to the block, nothing, just a slight, deep grunt.
Many times I would hear him shouting on the phone and the expletives were enough to turn my milk sour. And walking down the corridor to get to my apartment he would poke his head out the door nod then grunt yet again. I usually grinned and one time I even saluted him.
One night I was coming back from the local picture theatre; I had gone to watch a new release movie and came across a small bar up my street, so I shot in for a much needed drink. As I sat in a corner booth, I just did my typical thing and people watched. A few tables were full of revellers. I suppose they were office workers having a late Christmas piss up. That reminds me, I had better get a small tree in so at least my apartment will have the feel of Christmas in it this year.
I really don't celebrate Christmas; it always brings back sad memories but this year it's going to be different. I am determined to enjoy my holidays. I have no family to speak of and I kind of like my own company, I certainly don't answer to anyone except my agent.
A very heated loud argument was heard from the back room where there was a pool table.
Whack, grunt, whack, grunt and creaky old chairs were pushed back as the bar patrons went to look through the small doorway. A tall, dark handsome man was escorted from the room by two burly security men, he was yelling insults at someone and calling him all the fucking low bastards in the world, he was going to fix their asses real good, real soon.
Fleetingly our eyes met, he snorted then tripped over a table leg and went down like a sack of potatoes. He pushed the guys out of the way then I saw a small smile and a wink coming from his gorgeously handsome face, a long black curl flopped down over his forehead. What a waste, I smiled back. If it wasn't so serious I would have full on laughed; okay I smiled a lot. He didn't abuse the bouncers, just got up then grabbed a serviette off one of the tables to wipe the blood off his lip and walked out without any help.
A few minutes later I asked the bartender what was happening, my curiosity got the better of me.
"Oh that's just Joe, he comes in here, gets drunk and starts fights, he's harmless. The two Wilson boys can handle him, he's an angry kind of soul at the moment."
"He lives next door to me should I be concerned?"
"No mate, his hearts in the right place, just not his head at the moment. He lost his lover a couple of months ago and hasn't got over it yet, that's all. It makes him angry when he runs into those Wilson boys, but they aren't much better, they goad him into fighting with them."
"She died?"
"Who?"
"His wife?"
"No mate, his partner ran off with one of the Wilson boys so when they meet up, expect an almighty fist fight." He laughed.
"Oh."
I had one more scotch and soda then left. I really didn't know what was going on but I did have another chuckle to myself.
Walking past the alley that ran down the side of the hotel I could hear someone calling,
"Wait up, I'll walk with you."
I turned and saw Joe coming from the alley. He smiled.
"Had to have a fucking piss. I didn't know you were in the bar otherwise I would have come over and shouted you a Christmas beer."
"I've just been to the movies and thought I would have one or two on the way home, it's a nice night. Are you okay?"
"Sure always okay, it's the other fuckheads who aren't, I wish they would just stay out of my way, a couple of fucking tools."
"Oh."
I really didn't have much to say to him and inside I was laughing at his no nonsense attitude. He didn't say too much either, just introduced himself to me, he didn't shake my hand, just kept them in his jean's pockets. He actually said good night this time then closed his door.
Crack! I watched in amazement as Joe smacked the guy in the face then kicked his ass out of our building.
"If I see you around here again I'll break your fucking legs, don't come around here again fucking idiot." He was so angry.
He marched up the hallway his fists at the ready, then looked at me.
"Fucking drug pusher, we got kids in this block." Then he slammed his door.
I nodded my acceptance and as I closed my front door a small smile appeared on my lips. I had enough of drugs too. My last lover was loaded with them, of course that romance only lasted a few months. I actually had to move to get away from him and his mates.
My life changed for the better when I finally took the managers job at the gym in town. I had been offered it a few times, but other commitments tied me down for a bit. Now I can get some free exercise myself and a good perve in while I'm at it.
I guess you would call my body buffed but it didn't look that way, I would call it more tightly sculptured.
After work one day I was buying some champagne at the local bottle shop and the kid behind the counter charged me the wrong price, I argued with him. A big hand moved over my shoulder and grabbed the guy by the shirt.
"Hey asshole, the man said it's the wrong price, why don't you go fucking check it and I'll wait here so you can apologise to him when you get back." He smiled at me as the kid scurried off to check on the price. I lifted myself up on my toes a few times, I had to do something, my guts was about to burst out laughing at my handsome, hunky saviour.
"Sorry sir, the boss must have discounted it this morning and he never told me."
"That's okay, mistakes are made, after all this is the silly, fucking season." Joe chipped in,
"Tell your dick head boss I'll be back to have a quiet word with him later, the names Joe, he will remember me."
The kid seemed quite scared of Joe's threats.
"I come here all the time, they try all sorts of scams but it doesn't wash with me, fuck them."
"Oh, thanks for that Joe but I thought maybe I had seen the wrong price."
"Well it's a pretty expensive bottle, for a special occasion?"
"Nah just a Christmas drink, which reminds me I've got to get a tree."
"Try Natures nursery over in the next block, they have some great trees, cheap too." He winked at me.
He walked me to my door and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't ever let anyone push you around Mark, fuck them, get on top of it right from the start, push back."
"Umm okay, I'll try that in future but I'm no street fighter."
"You don't have to be mate, bluff them, shout, swear, go red in the face, they will get the fucking message."
"Like the Wilson boys eh?"
"Those two shunts like to brawl but they're as weak as piss, so is their no good brother. They got no brains or morals those boys."
"Oh."
"Well thanks again for sticking up for me back there."
"Your welcome anytime, you should do some defence courses at that gym of yours."
I moved inside and placed my bottle of champagne in the fridge to chill. I will have some of that Christmas Day; then I bent over the kitchen bench laughing. He was getting under my skin, I absolutely have fallen in love with his bravado attitude and his whole unassuming package. The nicest thing about him is he doesn't even know how fucking attractive he is.
I never got a chance to go to Natures nursery to get a tree but one was delivered the very next day with a box of assorted decorations. The card read, 'Compliments of the season from a neighbour.' I knew which one and I will thank him when I see him next.
A particularly bad day at the gym put me in a down mood, I needed to get out and meet people, I needed to get laid. Maybe I will go for a Christmas eve drink tonight down the street, or maybe I will buy Joe a thank you sort of Christmas present. As I alighted the lift I noticed Joe's door was open and I looked in to see if everything was okay. He was sitting at the table with blood running down he side of his face.
"What the fuck happened to you?" I moved into his living room uninvited.
"Nothing." I stared at him for a bit then said,
"Well nothing isn't going to get you cleaned up Joe, do you have a medical box?"
"In the bathroom."
I found the white box with a Red Cross on it and dampened a face washer. I cleaned him up as best I could, a nice black eye was forming and he had some gravel rash on his chin. He thanked me then poured a drink for us both.
"What happened?"
"The Wilson brothers came in for a Christmas tree and they were eyeballing me. I had to get the upper hand before they did, so I kicked both their sorry asses to the curb."
"Oh, but I cant understand why you take on both of them all the time."
"They're as weak as piss Mark, I can sort them out, don't you worry about that."
"Well it looks like they sorted you out this time." I smiled and he stared at me and not for a second either. If I didn't know better, I would have thought we had a "moment." I cleared my throat and said,
"Your boss won't mind those thugs upsetting your work?"
"No, I own the nursery. I left my assistants to cope with the Christmas rush for an hour or so but I have to go back soon to relieve them."
"Well if you want a hand I can come with you if you like, I've got nothing better to do."
"If you want to Mark, that would be ace but I don't want to put you out, I can always do with an extra set of hands though."
"Nah it's all good, I was brought up on a farm so I know some plants, and Christmas trees are easy to sell."
"Okay and thank you, it's the busiest time of the year for me. I hate it when people try and push me around, especially in my own shop."
"Why do they do it Joe?"
"Mark. long story short, they hate me because I decked their brother for ruining my life."
"Oh he ran off with your wife?"
"Sort of, how did you know?"
"The guy behind the bar up the street told me."
"Yeah well, he dumped me for one of those low life Wilsons. I'm so pissed off with them all."
"What?" I stared at him.
"My partner he ran off with one of the Wilson brothers so I decked him, he lost a few teeth in the process too." He grinned.
"Oh, I guess that's a good reason to hate them all then." I was sort of shocked but didn't want to show it. My heart actually skipped a beat and I had to use all my willpower not to give him a good tongue kiss on the spot.
"Mark it's just those two dick heads that annoy me, and drug pushers, oh and religious nuts, and smart assed shop attendants."
"You sound like you have a very long list." I smiled at him.
I also looked around his apartment, it was furnished really nicely and his small balcony was full of plants, they hid the view of the awful, brown block of flats next door.
"You got this place looking really nice Joe."
"Well it took me awhile to get it all back into shape after dickhead left. He even took the king size bed so I sleep in the fucking double and it's too fucking small."
"Well it looks nice, do you want to go back to work now?" I had to get out before I threw myself at him.
"Okay but just got to have a piss then I'm ready." I could help you with that i silently said.
While he did that I went to grab my wallet off my kitchen table. I locked up and Joe met me at his front door.
Walking to the garden centre with Joe was nice and he seemed to have calmed down a lot.
"Oh shit." I had spied the Wilson brothers coming out of the bar and go into the alley.
I started giggling to myself, poor Joe was red in the face and kept looking at me sideways. I suppose he thinks he's going to get another black eye.
"Hey gay boy, had enough yet, or do we have to teach you some more manners?"
Joe groaned under his breath, "Fuck me not again."
I held my hand up and he stopped in his tracks.
"Oh please allow me to get this. If you taught me anything this past week it's not to put up with any shit from no one." I grinned as I sidled up to the Wilson boys who had no idea I was the reigning lightweight, kickboxing champion. As they laughed at my small stance, Joe tried to push me out of the firing line.
"Just a minute gentlemen."
I pushed Joe back then made him sit on an empty milk crate.
"Now watch and learn."
I laid those two fuckers flat on their backs within thirty-five seconds, they didn't know what hit them, one had a smashed nose and the other was out cold. I looked at the enormous grin on Joe's face, I must admit It felt good.
"Come on Joe? We've got Christmas trees to sell."
He stared at me like he was seeing me in a different light.
I put my hand on his shoulder and said,
"Don't take shit from no one Joe, you taught me that and I thank you. "
"Uh?"
"What are you doing for Christmas lunch tomorrow?"
"Nothing, I've got nowhere to be," he replied.
"Good, come to my place for lunch. Better still, why not have a sleepover tonight and we can get an early start on that champagne you got cheap for me."
Then I had to go and say it,
"Sorry Joe, I've only got a double bed, is that okay?" He nearly fell over his feet laughing.
Merry Christmas 2017 and don't take shit from no one.
Please donate to Nifty it keeps this site alive for us authors.