An Apology and A Festive Greeting from the Author: I apologize most profusely for the months-long drought. Real life took up far more time than I'd anticipated. Thank you for all the responses I got; I had been getting a little discouraged, but now I'm back on track. One of my new year's resolutions is to complete this story, and try to publish a new chapter on a fortnightly basis. I hope you'll all be able to rejoin the journey of our beloved characters as they search for love. The Yuletide season is upon us, so here's wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!
[All the usual disclaimers apply. All rights reserved to the author.]
A Brief Recap: Harrison set Reid up with a coworker, Phil. The two of them were just starting to get better acquainted with each other, when Phil revealed some knowledge that stunned Reid: he knew that Reid's father was the billionaire retail mogul, Walter Scott.
LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS
~ Chapter 26 ~
From the Narrative of Reid Scott:
For a few seconds I just stared at Phil in shock. Neither of us spoke. Then I sat up suddenly. Phil was flung backwards, off my chest and against the armrest.
"What the fuck are you playing at?" I yelled at him. "How could you know that?"
He looked at me with a scared expression, rubbing his elbow where he'd struck it against the armrest. Underneath my anger I felt the stirring of guilt. I brushed it aside; I wasn't supposed to feel guilty.
"I - I didn't know whether I should tell you," he stammered. "But I didn't want it to come out later, and jeopardize what we're trying to -"
I cut him off and repeated my question in a dangerously quiet tone. "How do you know about my family?"
"I - I didn't actually know, I just made a guess. When I first saw you in the cafe ... the first time I got a good look at you ... I mean I saw you when you were surfing but I couldn't make your face out clearly -" He saw the impatience written on my face and hurried on with his explanation.
"I saw the resemblance at once. That's why I couldn't stop staring at you. When I saw you, the first thing that went through my mind was, `This guy and Carl Scott could almost be brothers'. And then when you said your surname was Scott, I realized that was the truth ... you WERE brothers."
Confusion rapidly replaced my anger. "But ... how do you know Carl?"
"From work. Scottmart is one of our firm's main clients. It always has been, since ot was founded here in this town. But you knew that, right? I mean, you are the CEO's son?" It wasn't so much a question as a request for confirmation of a fact he already knew to be true.
I replied, almost absent-mindedly, "I never paid much attention to the family business. The retail industry just didn't interest me. It was one of the reasons Dad hated me."
There was still an element of fear on Phil's features - the brutality with which I'd lashed out at the mention of my family had both shocked and frightened him. But now understanding slowly dawned on him, and he reached out to touch my hand before thinking the better of it. His soulful eyes, however, still shone with sympathy. "That's awful," he said softly. "Your father couldn't possibly hate you just because -"
I interrupted him before he could go on. The last person I wanted to hear about was my dad. "Does Harrison know all this? Because he knows about my family and Scottmart."
Phil said hastily, "No, no. I don't think he knows. He's only been working at F&A for a month now and we haven't had any dealings with Scottmart in that time. It's quite possible he doesn't know about the connection."
I nodded. Harrison would never have kept something like this from me if he'd known. There was something else that I wanted to know, although I wasn't sure I'd like the answer.
"Tell me about Carl," I said. "Has he ... has he ever mentioned me?"
I noted the look of intense discomfort that crossed Phil's face and my apprehension increased. "Um, well ... he did say once, that he had an older brother, but that he -" Phil paused, unsure whether he should go on.
I was now quite certain I wouldn't like what he had to say, but I prodded nonetheless. "What did he say?"
Phil sighed before admitting, "He said his elder brother abandoned his family when he was still in high school."
"He said I abandoned him?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "That wasn't what happened at all. Our father did something that practically FORCED me to leave. Doesn't he know that?"
Phil hesitated. "He ... he seemed to believe what he was saying."
I snorted in disgust. "Of course he would. He always believed whatever Dad told him."
There was an awkward silence.
Then Phil said, "Reid ... I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. I had the awful feeling that, sooner or later, you would find out, and then you would hate me." He paused. "Do you? Do you hate me?"
I looked at his face, those liquid brown eyes, and I could see the longing. My anger was abating. There was no way I could remain angry at him. The way he'd stumbled over his words, his voice still keeping that sexy accent but filled with sympathy, were melting my heart. The rational part of my mind told me he hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't a crime to not tell me immediately that he knew my brother. At least he'd confessed before we got into any serious sex.
I leaned forward and I saw him flinch. He must have been afraid that I was going to yell at him - or worse. The momentary apprehension changed to delighted surprise when I instead took his arm, the one he'd struck, and kissed it lightly. I felt him shiver.
I gazed deeply into his eyes. "You don't need to apologize. I should be the one apologizing for reacting violently to your honesty."
He opened his mouth, but I stopped him by placing a finger on his lips.
"No, don't say anything. I know you're going to be nice, and say that I don't need to apologize either, but I do. I was hotheaded. I didn't think about what your intentions were in revealing this information; all I thought about was how you'd brought up something I would rather forget."
Phil said quietly, "I didn't know the story behind any of it. I still don't. But I knew it couldn't be good. That's why . that's why I hesitated. We were starting off so well and I was afraid, afraid that I would ruin it. I always do. And I have this time too, haven't I? You don't want anything to do with me now." He looked at me, searching my face for answers.
I shook my head. "No. If you hadn't told me, and I'd found out myself later, I would've been furious. With Josh - you know we used to be together, right, before Harrison?"
Phil nodded.
"At first, I was angry with Josh. I felt that he hadn't been honest with me. But of course he had. He'd told me from the beginning that he was in love with Harrison. If I'd listened to him and not allowed myself to foolishly fall in love, I wouldn't have been hurt later on."
Phil hesitated. "Do you still love him? Josh, I mean?"
I thought about it carefully. Yes, a part of me would always love Josh. But another part of me could never forget that last night we'd spent together, that night when he'd been so depressed over Harrison returning, only to leave again. And I had been responsible for Harrison's mixed signals, even if he hadn't known it then.
I had so desperately wanted to seal my relationship with Josh, wanted it to be cast in stone the way I hadn't been bothered to do while the possibility of Harrison's return had been so remote. And so I offered him the only thing I knew, the one thing I was certain Harrison never would.
I still remember the surprise in his eyes when I slipped the condom onto his cock. In the twelve months that we'd been together I'd only let him fuck me twice, and those two times were only because he'd begged to have a feel of what it was like to be on top. But that night I was willing to pull out all the stops if it helped me to keep Josh. I never anticipated the change that would come over my kind, gentle Josh. All the frustration and anguish over Harrison's apparent rejection came to a boil. He thrust into me violently, like a man possessed, oblivious to his surroundings and to me. For someone who'd never liked to be on the receiving end of anal sex to begin with, it was an experience that should have put me off it for good.
Yet even as he brutally fucked me I blinked back tears of pain and kissed him tenderly. I understood that he wasn't quite aware of how he was hurting me - his eyes had that glazed, unfocused look of someone who was totally out of it - but I told myself it would be all worth it if this would make him realize that the guy he truly loved was me. It was a wild hope that was brought crashing down just moments later as Josh climaxed, shooting his load deep within me, while screaming the name of his true love. It just wasn't mine.
He didn't remember that detail when he apologized to me afterward. He was so genuinely sorry, so appalled at his own lack of concern for how he might have hurt me with his rough sex, that I couldn't refuse granting him my forgiveness. But there was no denying that something between us had changed that night. I would still love him forever, but not in the same idealistic, all-encompassing way I had before.
"I don't know if I'll ever be completely over Josh," I spoke at last, choosing to be honest. Phil deserved that much, for having come clean with me. "But I realize that he and I ... we just weren't meant to be. Josh loves Harrison more than anything. And I can only hope, for his sake, that Harrison loves him just as much."
Phil surprised me by saying, "Of course he does. You don't know how Harrison is at work. Every other sentence that isn't about work is about his boyfriend: Josh this and Josh that. He told me that he never thought it possible for someone to love another person as much as Josh loves him. He feels like he can't give back the same amount of love that Josh showers on him. But I know better."
I had to agree. "I think you're right. Harrison has shown himself to be capable of great love." I looked apologetically at Phil. "I'm sorry for suspecting that the two of you were ... you know ..."
He laughed. "I told you, it's just a bit of fun we like to have. I won't deny making a pass at him on the first day. But he came straight to the point, telling me he already had a boyfriend. And I respect that."
I smiled at him. "I believe you." I eyed him carefully before sidling across the couch towards him. Looping my arm around his shoulders, I drew him closer to me. He stiffened with pleasure at the intimacy of the contact, before accepting the gesture by leaning his head against my shoulder. His dark brown hair felt soft and unusually cool against my warm, smooth skin.
"I really like you," I told him in a voice barely above a whisper.
Just as gently he replied, "I know," which normally I would've thought to be highly presumptuous of him, since I liked very few people, and especially not so soon after meeting them. But when he said it, I just felt that he really got me, understood me like very few others had. And of course when he added, "I like you too - a lot", he just completely melted my heart.
"I guess this means we'll be seeing a lot more of each other."
He raised his eyebrows and waved a hand down his naked body. "I don't think there's a lot more than this to see."
I found myself blushing. "Alright, let me rephrase that. We'll probably see each other a lot more often," I amended, emphasizing the last word.
He smiled, letting his hand wander down my back, fingertips lightly playing on my spine. "Very likely. And I think we'll be getting to know each other a lot more intimately."
I had this silly grin plastered on my face; it was so hard not to smile at him, he was just so ridiculously cute. Then it struck me just how involved I was letting myself become. And how unprepared I was for a serious relationship.
I laughed nervously. "Now hold your horses ... You almost make it sound like we're going to get serious or something."
Phil stopped playing with my back and stared at me. "I thought - based on what you said - that you wanted us to start dating."
I avoided his gaze as I replied, "Dating? I ... don't think that'd be such a good idea."
"And why not?"
"Look, Phil, you don't want to be dating me. I've never been in a proper relationship before - unless you count me and Josh, and see how that turned out. I'll screw everything up."
"Trust me, I wrote the book when it comes to screwing up relationships. You won't believe the number I've been in, that haven't had a happy ending."
I looked doubtfully at him. "You're right - I don't believe you. Who could ever have the heart to turn you down?"
Phil snorted. "A surprisingly large number of men! I've been in seven serious relationships -seven! - all of which, obviously, haven't worked out. From what you've told me, you've only been in one failed relationship. My track record is by far more worrying than yours, and you don't see me giving up."
"You're certainly, uh, optimistic," I said, for want of a better word.
This seemed to amuse Phil. "So you admit I'm a bigger screw- up?"
"No!" I hastily amended. "That's not what I meant at all. What I meant to say was - was ... I don't know what to say," I confessed.
"Good. Then you've run out of excuses."
"They weren't excuses," I protested indignantly. "I'm just trying to prepare you for the disappointment that is, believe me, inevitable."
Phil sighed and wrapped his arms around my neck. It was both a touching and calming gesture. "I know right now it seems like Josh is the one true love you'll never get over, but I've been there myself, not too long ago. I thought my ex- boyfriend David was The One. We even picked out the furniture for this place together. And I was so convinced what we had was the real thing that I was going to ask him to move in with me. But he beat me to the punch with the admission that he wasn't 100% certain of his sexuality, and that he might have feelings for someone else: a woman who worked in his office."
I winced. "I'm sorry."
He shrugged. "Don't be. Things like that happen for a reason. I didn't want Dave to stay with me out of obligation, when his heart wasn't in it. And I didn't want to be with someone who couldn't truly love me. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us."
"I - I guess not," I said hesitantly. The parallel to my own relationship with Josh didn't escape me.
"Reid, all I'm asking for is a chance. A chance to mend your broken heart, and show you that Josh isn't the only guy out there. I can't promise to live up to him, but I'll try my darnedest to. Although," - he looked down, with a very serious expression, at his smooth chest - "I don't think I can quite manage the chest hair."
I couldn't help it; I laughed. "When you put it like that ... how can I say no? At least if I screw this up, at least we'll screw up together."
He grinned. "Screw AND screw up together," he corrected.
"Oh, definitely," I assured him. "The first has to come before the second."
"Maybe the second never has to," he said softly.
Looking into his beautiful brown eyes, I fervently hoped so too. "For my part I can truthfully say that I've never been even remotely attracted to a woman."
He laughed. "That's very comforting to know. Neither have I - well, bar that one time I had a crush on my teacher in elementary school - but that was it. For my part, I can assure you that I've always been monogamous in my relationships and, in those instances where cheating was the reason for a breakup, it wasn't me doing the cheating."
"I, uh ..." I hesitated as I recalled my first couple of months with Josh, when I'd slept with other guys. It had been with his permission, of course, but that didn't change the fact I'd hardly been `monogamous'. And add to that my colorful sexual history in the run-up to meeting him. I took a deep breath and steeled my resolve.
"You've been nothing but honest with me, Phil, so you deserve the truth. Full disclosure, right?" I gave a nervous chuckle but I could feel Phil's eyes on me.
"When I left home after coming out, I was ... so lost, and I did a lot of things I probably shouldn't have. Like, sleeping with a lot of men." I waited for the impact of my words to sink in.
There was no obvious reaction from Phil. "Okay ..."
He was way too nonchalant about it. "You're not getting it. When I said a lot, I MEAN a lot. There were even times when I couldn't even remember their names afterward!"
"Now, now. There's no need to boast about your sexual prowess."
"I wasn't -!" Then I caught the grin on his face. "Oh ... you're joking," I said weakly.
"It doesn't matter to me if you've slept in the past with hundreds of men -"
"Okay, `hundreds' is taking it a bit too far!"
He grinned. "Alright, I take it back. There's only one thing I need to know and that's that your heart is in the right place. Can you tell me that?"
"I - I did fool around with other guys after moving in with Josh. But only because he said it was okay with him, that I didn't need to be monogamous. Then I noticed I was the only one in the relationship who was sleeping around and I - stupidly - thought it must be because he loved me. That was the realization that made me face the truth: having sex with those other guys was meaningless when I could be making love to the man of my life. And I stopped sleeping around and focused on just him - not that he noticed," I added, unable to prevent myself from feeling bitter about it.
Phil squeezed my shoulder. "Reid, as wonderful as you are, I don't think you could've competed with his first love. There's just something unique about that sort of crush. It's just that, for most people, that's all it ever is. Josh was very lucky that his feelings were reciprocated, after all those years, by Harrison."
"Did you really mean that?"
"Did I mean what?"
"The part about me ... being wonderful."
"Absolutely. You have the three S's."
"I have three asses?"
"S's," he enunciated clearly. "Sexy, sensitive, sweet -"
"I am NOT sweet!" I protested hotly.
Laughing, he said, "If you say so."
I stared into his eyes. "You promise you won't regret this?"
He shook his head. "Never. And you have to promise me that, you're not going to harbor these feelings of inadequacy, just because of one failed relationship. You have everything going for you - don't waste it."
"Yeah, I know, you said I was sexy." I grinned.
"Very sexy." He pressed his lips against mine, his eyes never leaving mine. We explored each other's mouths with our tongues as I wrapped my arms around his body. The intimate contact between our naked bodies meant our cocks brushed against each other, and it didn't take much for them to grow hard again.
"Make love to me," Phil gasped as we came up for air. He pressed the tube of lubricant into my hand.
I looked at it for a few seconds, and then I handed it back to him with the words, "I want you to do it." It surprised me as it did him.
"You ... want ME to fuck you? I thought we agreed -"
"I want you on top for our first time together, Phil. I know you'll be gentle - different. Please."
"If it means that much to you ..."
"It does."
There was a pause. "Okay, um, you'll be more comfortable on your back." I started to position myself as instructed when he stopped me. "No, actually, hold on. Don't move. There's something I need to finish first."
He got off the couch and knelt on the floor between my legs. I'd already been rimmed by him once before that night, so I knew he was good. But that second time he was nothing short of amazing.
He began with light strokes, his tongue flitting across my hole like a feather. Then he moved up my crack, to the sensitive perineum under my balls. His tongue darted out to give them a couple of licks. I moaned uncontrollably, running my hands down his back. My fingers found the crevice between his buttcheeks and, as they brushed against his hole, I felt him shiver with anticipation.
His tongue was back at my asshole, this time circling around the puckered ring. When I least expected it, he plunged his tongue into my hole. I nearly lost it right then. I couldn't reach his hole with my own tongue, but my fingers could. I pressed a single finger against his sphincter, and it sunk in with a little resistance. I could feel him tense, his anal muscles squeezing tightly around my finger, while he tongued my hole with renewed passion.
"Do you want me to keep going?"
He bobbed his head up and down without taking his face from my ass. I took it for a yes. The tube of lubricant lay on the table; I squeezed some onto a finger of my free hand and reached down to reach his ass. His moan was muffled as I slipped the second finger into his ass. I wasn't in the most comfortable position but it didn't even register as I was rimmed to the brink of orgasm for the second time that night. The entire length of his tongue must have been up my ass when I climaxed, shooting three jets of cum onto my chest.
He staggered to his feet panting. The finger-fucking I'd been giving him while he rimmed me had worked its magic; his cock stuck out at right angles to his body and gleamed an angry red. He gasped, "I - need - to -"
He didn't need to complete the sentence. His need to get off was blatant. I stretched out on my back as he clumsily drew a fresh condom along his pole. I applied the lube that was still on my finger to my hole - not that it needed much, because it was slick with his saliva.
As he positioned himself over me, he asked, "Are you ready?"
"Never been more so in my life," I assured him.
He smiled, and I felt the head of his cock press against my sphincter. I half-closed my eyes, convinced this was going to be painful and wondering why on earth I'd asked for this.
Sensing my apprehension, he bent down over me and whispered, "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." Very gently he pushed forward, slowly sinking his six-inch cock into my ass. "I'm all the way in."
I opened my eyes in surprise. Sure enough, his cock was buried to the hilt. "That wasn't particularly painful!"
"You sound surprised. I promised I wouldn't hurt you."
"And you were right." I craned my neck to give him a peck on the lips.
There was a mischievous glint in his eye. "Now do you want something in your mouth when I start fucking your ass properly?"
I raised my eyebrows. "Um, unless your cock is capable of being in two orifices at once, I don't see how that's possible. I would welcome it if it were, though."
He playfully thwacked me on the shoulder. "You have such a filthy mind. I didn't mean my cock. What I meant was -" He bent down and kissed me deeply instead of completing his sentence.
My mind was so befuddled by all the new and strange sensations that it barely registered the mild twinges of pain as Phil withdrew, before plunging back in. And even it had, I was too elated to notice because I was, for the first time in my life, making love with a man who felt the same way about me.
To be continued ...
Let me know what you think of this newest chapter by emailing me at justinr_88@yahoo.com. All feedback is greatly appreciated. Happy holidays!