Do What You Can
This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction.
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
Chapter 2
I had never realized that Zack was actually in most of my classes. I guess I just wasn't paying attention. I mean, I had noticed him, but I'd never thought I'd actually ever talk to him and hang out with him. He was just a nice piece of scenery that adorned the halls and some of the classrooms. But now that I thought about it, he had always been up the back hiding out from the teachers. I don't think he had ever been a great student. Now he was just a body that came to class.
I got to History and saw Zack giving the teacher his homework quiz and she looked pretty surprised. He turned and saw me and nodded and said "Come sit with me."
Just like that. Come sit with me.
I felt nervous. Not because of the sex thing. Not because I thought he was this awesomely cute guy. I was nervous because he was in that 'in' crowd. The crowd that I'd never been a part off. You know, the people who walk around like they own the place. The cool people. And everyone who isn't one of the cool people talks about how much they hate them, but what they really want is to be one of them.
So here was my chance. But shit, what if I messed up? What if I said the wrong thing? Did the wrong thing? Knew the wrong people?
I nodded, but then I saw he was heading up the back.
"Hey," I said, waving at a couple of seats half way back. I normally sat right up front, enthusiastic little brown-nose that I was. I figured the middle was a good compromise. He looked at me for a moment, then shrugged and sat down.
As he sat he whispered, "If the teacher calls on me you're dead."
He smiled when he said it, but I was worried.
I was pretty confident she wouldn't. The teachers seem to know who knows stuff, and who doesn't. Teachers like to embarrass the troublemakers who don't know things. But if you are quiet they generally ignore you. And I guessed that the teachers were going easy on Zack.
So we sat together, and Zack didn't say anything to me, though he did at least appear to pay some attention to the class.
And she didn't call on him.
Afterwards, as we were walking out, he thanked me again for the help with the paper.
"You should have seen the look on her face!" he laughed.
"I saw!" I laughed with him. "That was worth it!"
"Well thanks again," he said.
"No problem," I paused, gathering up my courage. "Listen," I began nervously, "if you want help with the rest...you want to come over after school?"
He looked at me with a curious expression. "You mean, like a tutor?"
"Uh no," I said thoughtfully, "kind of like a friend helping out a friend."
Zack looked at me thoughtfully, then he said, in a not unfriendly way, "I didn't know we were friends."
"Well we aren't...yet," I said, "but we...well I guess we kind of had a friend in common."
I looked at him, wondering what his reaction would be, but he just smiled, and then said, a little thickly, "Danny always believed in helping friends."
So that's how I became Zack's tutor. That's really what I was, as he needed a lot of help, and I was clearly a way better student than he was. We ended up spending most of the next two weeks, and Saturday and Sunday for three weeks in a row, just catching up on all the stuff Zack had 'missed.' I was putting a lot of work into this, and I started to worry how it might affect my grades. But apart from missing a lot of television, my grades weren't affected at all. In fact, I think doing remedial work with Zack helped me out. Repeating stuff I'd just managed to scramble through really drummed it into me.
And the teachers somehow seemed to know I was helping Zack and I got a lot of doo-be credits for that. One teacher even let the two of us go off one period and work on some stuff together in the library.
Zack seemed really grateful for the time I was spending with him. Really, I felt like I was directing him. He was a pretty good student once he put his mind to it, and he was rather pliable at the moment. I would tell him what we were going to do and he just hunkered down and did it.
And he started to smile again. And laugh. We'd joke around. By the third week we sat together most of the time, ate lunch together, and pretty much hung out all the time. I think my friends were wondering what was up, and other students were wondering how I'd managed to become cool enough to hang out with Zack Taylor.
I didn't care. A little to my surprise I found I liked Zack. Liked him a lot. Not because he looked good - and he was looking a lot better now - but because he was...nice. Strangely, though I'd thought he was good looking, I'd never imagined that I'd like him as a person. But I started to notice a spark inside him, and I liked it. He was funny and easy going. I just felt good when I was around him.
I was just hoping he wouldn't suddenly wake up and realize I was this skinny nerd who worked for the school paper and was doing nothing for his 'cool' rating.
One day we were hanging out in my room - we always worked at my place - and just taking a few moments to chat. We didn't do it very often. Most of the time we studied. Zack really didn't goof off a lot. But we'd take a couple of moments to decompress during the afternoon. My Mom would bring us cookies and milk or some other snack.
I never said anything about Danny. It wasn't my place, and I felt it was too raw. If anything, I was scared to, as I didn't want him going to pieces. I had no idea what I would do if he collapsed like he had at the wake.
We'd been talking about kayaking and Zack told me about a trip he had been on and I said I didn't think I'd like it. He asked why, and I casually said that I didn't like the water. I didn't really think about it, but Zack looked at me like I was from another planet.
"What do you mean you don't like the water?" he asked, the surprise in his voice evident.
"Just don't" I shrugged, not wanting to get drawn into it any further. Wishing I hadn't opened my mouth.
"Well, you can swim, right?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said, dragging the word out in disgust. "Course I can," I added, trying to sound convincing.
Zack wasn't buying it.
"Can you swim?"
"I can swim," I said.
"How far?"
"How far what?"
"Can you do a length?"
"I can swim, okay!" I snapped.
Zack shrunk back a bit and I caught myself and tried to calm down.
"I'm just not good like you," I said trying to get out of this.
But he was looking at me with this rueful expression.
I tried to change the subject by eating my cookie very intently. It wasn't a particularly compelling change of topic, but it was the best I could come up with.
"I could teach you," he said quietly.
"What?" I said.
"I said, I could teach you."
"Teach me what?" I replied casually, trying to appear unconcerned.
"To swim."
"I can swim!" I said. I was getting angry.
"No one would know," he prompted.
I looked at him.
"Can we talk about something else?" I begged.
"I'm just saying," he went on, "if you wanted some pointers, we have a pool. I could turn you into a better swimmer. It'd be my way of repaying you for what you've done for me."
"You don't have to repay me for anything," I said, still upset.
"Well think about it," he replied quietly.
"Okay," I said absently, never intending to.
But Zack was now on a mission. For the next few days he was constantly dropping hints about how he could turn me into an Olympic swimmer. How he wanted to do something for me.
At first I was embarrassed. Then annoyed. Then finally resigned to it all, and I just wanted to shut him up. I mean it was obvious he knew I couldn't swim, and that he wasn't going to give up.
So that's how I found myself that Saturday afternoon at his house. It was a big place about a mile from mine. I could have borrowed Mom's car, but I rode my bike over.
His folks had money. A Mercedes was parked in the driveway. I swallowed nervously. Zack had assured me no one would be home.
No one would know.
I knocked on the door and Zack opened it, smiling.
"Hey Jed. Come on in man!"
I walked in and a woman's voice said "So you're Jed!"
I turned and the woman I'd seen with Zack at the wake was coming down the hall towards us.
She held out her hand to shake mine, though she had this huge smile on her face and I had the uneasy feeling that she was an inch away from giving me a big hug. I stepped back a little.
"Yes...yes Ma'am" I said nervously.
"It's so nice to finally meet you," she beamed. "Zack has told us so much about you, and we're just so grateful for all the tutoring work you've done for him."
I smiled nervously, feeling myself blush "It's uh...my pleasure Ma'am...uh...he's a good student." I glanced at Zack and saw that he was looking a little uncomfortable too.
She smiled at me. "Well if you ever need anything, you just call me." Then she looked at Zack and then back to me. "It was so nice to meet you Jed. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've been told that I have to go out this afternoon," and she glanced back at Zack and smiled. And then she was gone.
"Come on!" said Zack, and he led me down to the pool. It was a large indoor pool. I couldn't believe it. I turned around and Zack was unbuttoning his pants and they dropped down and he was wearing a Speedo underneath them. I hadn't been expecting that either.
I took my bag off my shoulder and searched in it for a moment before pulling out my swimsuit. Then I looked around, wondering where I could change.
"Hurry up," Zack said, and he dived in.
I turned and started to walk back into the house.
"Hey!" he said from the pool, "where are you going?"
"Just going to change," I said.
"No one can see you! Just change there," he said, and he turned and swam back a little way.
I wanted to run inside. I didn't want to strip in front of him, but I felt like I'd been challenged. What to do?
I took a deep breath. I decided to get changed there, but I turned slightly to the side and tried to cover myself with my shirt as I changed as quickly as possible.
Once I finished changing I nervously walked over and stood at the edge. I didn't know how to dive, and I was too afraid to just jump in. I didn't know how deep it was. Zack swam over, completely oblivious of the fact I was about to wet myself before I got into the pool.
"Coming in?" he said as he swam up to the edge and grabbed onto it.
"Uh, yeah," I said, looking around and seeing the stairs over the other side. Should I get in here or walk around?
Zack looked at me curiously, then I think he realized just how bad it was. I think maybe he had thought I knew how to swim at least a little. He was going to learn different.
"Okay," he said seriously, "let's start with the basics. Come around to the shallow end. Meet me at the ladder."
He swam over while I walked around. When I got there he was standing and it was obvious it was only about four feet deep at that end. I grabbed hold of the ladder and stepped down gingerly.
Before I knew what was happening I was standing in the water beside him, breathing carefully, and trying to appear cool. It's kind of hard when most of you is screaming to get the hell out of there.
"Okay?" he said. I gave him a look to say 'Yeah, it's only a few feet deep here.'
"Okay, you wait here for a moment," and he climbed out and went over and got some stuff out of a bin. It looked like floaty things and kick boards and stuff. He came back carrying the stuff. If I hadn't been so panicked about being in the water, I might have spent more time admiring the Speedo he was wearing. I was just too freaked to do that.
Zack dropped the stuff in and then climbed down the ladder and was standing beside me.
"Let's start with practicing kicking," he said. "Then we'll work on getting your head under water, breathing and things." He handed the board to me and I blushed.
I felt like such a big doffus. Here I was 17 and I couldn't swim a stroke. I avoided the water like the plague. It frightened the hell out of me. It had all started when I was five and I fell in a swimming pool. I didn't drown, but I never went near water again.
It wasn't pathological. I could stand in water. But I wouldn't go outside my level of comfort. The water couldn't be over my waist. And I didn't learn to swim. So I just stayed away.
And here I was with this swimming champion, and he was going to see how bad I was. I looked at Zack and I froze.
"I can't do this," I said.
"Do what?"
"I don't want to learn," and I turned and went to climb out.
Zack put his arm on my shoulder and pulled me back to face him.
"Come on," he said, "you can do it!"
"No I can't!" I said. I was this close to crying.
"Yes you can,"
"I feel so stupid," I said finally.
"You're not stupid," he said seriously, "and with a few lessons you'll be on your way. You just have to get through this part. I know it's embarrassing, but there's no one here. Just me."
I looked at him. Having him here was as bad as anything. I was more embarrassed about appearing stupid in front of him, than anyone else. This was the thing I was dreading. He'd see how hopeless I was.
"I won't tell anyone," he said quietly. "You've kept my secret. I won't tell yours."
I stared at him.
We'd never talked about his relationship with Danny, but I had suspected it was much more than just a childhood friend. And anyway, I knew that Danny had only moved here three years ago and Zack had lived here all his life, so that story about being childhood friends wasn't true. I'd known that Zack and Danny were more than friends. I hadn't really thought about it more than that. I just knew.
And now he'd confirmed it to me.
I stood there numbly. Feeling like he'd just laid out his soul for me to see. And all I was going to do was show him that I had no idea how to stay afloat in water. Kind of trivial in comparison.
I shrugged.
"Okay," I said quietly.
He smiled large and we set about the lesson. I didn't do that well. I was still really afraid, but we made a little progress and Zack was already making plans for the next lesson as we climbed out of the pool. I was figuring on coming back in about a year.
Zack went over and came back with two huge fluffy towels and handed one to me. Then he started drying himself and I started doing the same. I was working on my legs when there was this wet slapping noise and I looked up and Zack's swimsuit was in a puddle round his ankles. He was standing nude in front of me, drying his hair, the towel covering his head. I took a good long look. A really good look, then as he pulled up the towel I looked away quickly and went back to drying myself and hoping I wouldn't spring a woody.
I could feel myself thickening.
Zack put the towel around his waist and said "Come on," and I did the same with my towel, though I left my swimsuit on.
I followed him up to his room. It was huge. He had a queen size bed and he sat down on it. There was a couch, and armchair, a desk with a computer and an entertainment thing with TV set, stereo and X-Box. I couldn't believe it. He indicated I should join him on the bed and I sat down gingerly at the edge.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"So when you want another lesson?" He asked.
Right now! I thought, if he was going to flash me again.
"Whenever," I said, trying to sound cool.
"How about tomorrow?"
"Okay," I agreed. Just seeing Zack in a Speedo had been pretty hot now that I thought about it. I'd come back just for that.
"Cool," he said, "I'm really glad you're letting me do this...I want to pay you back in some way."
I smiled.
"Sorry about my Mom earlier," he said.
I nodded, looking down embarrassedly.
"They've been worried about me," he said quietly. "They had lined up a shrink for me to see and then you came along..."
"Huh?" I said, looking up.
"Well I wasn't doing any work or nothing..." he trailed off.
"Gee...maybe I should be charging your parents," I joked, trying to lighten up the moment.
He laughed. "You send my Mom a bill and she'll pay it."
"Huh!"
"Seriously! She meant it when she said if you want anything."
I waved him off. I was embarrassed by the conversation.
"Well now you're teaching me so we're gonna be even," I said.
He smiled. "Maybe," he said noncommittally.
"We will be. You don't owe me anything. I'm really glad I could help you."
Zack nodded. There was a pause, then he said quietly, "Why Jed?"
I looked up. Why what? Why had Danny died? Why was I helping him? Why couldn't I swim?"
"Why?"
"Why'd you come over to me that day?" he said, looking at me intently.
"Ah...really? You sure you want to know?"
"Yeah, I mean, we weren't exactly friends."
"We weren't enemies."
"No. I didn't mean that. I just mean, even my friends wouldn't have done that."
"I don't know. They probably would have if they'd known that was what you needed. I guess I was just...it just came to me."
"Really?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah..." I thought for a moment, "well I was...I was looking through my English book and I found a piece of paper that Danny had put some notes on for the paper we were working on. Just little notes that meant nothing. But then I saw you, and I guess I kind of wanted to do something for Danny. And I didn't know what to do and then I saw the homework paper and it just kind of came to me."
I looked at Zack and I saw tears running down his eyes.
"Are you okay Zack?"
"Yeah," he nodded, but then his face screwed up and he sobbed. I didn't know what to do, but I got up and walked around to him and sat down beside him and he turned to me and put his arms around me and leaned in and cried.
"I just miss him so much!" he cried.
I just held him and said softly, "I know, I know."
Zack cried for a while, then he finally started to pull himself together. I patted his back and he pulled away from me.
"Thanks," he said quietly.
He grabbed a tissue from his night table and blew his nose, smiling a little embarrassedly at me. Then he got up and went over to his dresser and pulled out some boxer shorts. He dropped the towel, flashing me briefly again, and pulled on the shorts. I thought he'd put on pants, but he just hopped back on the bed.
"So wanna watch a movie?" he said.
"Shouldn't we do some studying?"
"Nah, I wanna take a break," he said.
I fixed him with a stare.
"Yeah? Is all your homework done young man?" I said in my best Mom impression.
"Lets' give it a break! The teachers don't care if I turn in something late."
I frowned. "Well I care," I said.
"Come on! One night off!"
"Are you kidding? My reputation is riding on you. There's no backsliding now!"
He grumbled, but we ended up doing his homework. Which actually turned out to be not much at all. My biggest problem is that he sat there in his boxers and I had the towel around my waist and I was really hot.
We were sitting there, he was writing away, and my mind was wandering and looking over the swimming trophies on his bookshelf.
"Why'd you stop swimming?" I asked.
He looked up and shrugged. "Just didn't want to do it."
"Why not?"
"Danny used to come to all the meets. I went to one afterwards and I...it was too hard."
I looked at him thoughtfully.
"Danny wouldn't have wanted you to stop," I said.
"I've been told that," he said a little acidly.
"Okay," I said, "How about this. If you don't take up swimming again I'm gonna kick your scrawny arse."
"You and who's army?" he said grinning.
"I can take you," I said.
"Huh!" he snorted.
I jumped up and ran at him. I really had little chance, as he has a good four inches on me and I'm a scrawny weed. But I had two advantages. I had on a swim suit and a towel, while he just had on some thin boxer shorts. And I knew where I was going to attack.
I dived on him, grabbed the waistband of the shorts, and tugged hard. He yelled as I gave him a power wedgie. Then I pulled and there was a ripping noise, and suddenly I was lying on the floor across from him, holding the tattered remains of his boxer shorts.
Zack, buck naked, just dived on top of me. We rolled around. He was trying to tickle me and I was trying to throw him off.
We were both laughing.
He finally was on top of my, holding down both my arms, so I couldn't move, but he couldn't really do anything either. And he was naked.
"Now what are you going to do?" I said, smirking at him.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" he smiled, and then he shocked me. He ground his pelvis against mine. "you know what they used to do in the old days," he said. "The victors would rape all the woman and pretty boys in the village," and he grinned down at me.
"Well I'm not either," I said, struggling to get out.
"Yeah you are," he said, smiling. Then he stopped and his eyes watered and he let go of me and sat up.
"Zack?" I said softly.
He held up his hands to his face.
"Its' okay...we were just playing," I said.
He nodded and stood up. I saw his dick again, and it had thickened a bit.
I pulled off my towel and handed it to him.
"Here," I said.
He nodded and wrapped it around himself. I went to hug him but he didn't want me to.
He pulled himself together and then said quietly, "I'm sorry,"
"You don't have to apologize."
"I shouldn't have done that. I don't know why I did it. I wouldn't...I don't know what came over me," he stammered. He was crying again and I felt terrible. It was as much my fault as his.
"Nothing to apologize," I said. "Seriously Zack, I've done worse with other friends; but please don't tell anyone I said that!" It was a lie. I'd never done anything with friends. No jack-off races, no mutual masturbation. I'd barely managed to catch a peak, but he was so upset I just wanted him to feel better.
He nodded and smiled nervously. I gave him a couple of minutes.
"We good?" I asked him finally.
He nodded.
We watched half a movie, but then his Mother came back and said she'd take us out to dinner. I would have liked to stay. I told them I would, but I had to get home. Zack seemed disappointed, but it was okay. I went and got my clothes and got dressed in his room - while he watched. And then I went home.
The next few days we slipped into a new routine. I'd go over and get a swimming lesson, and then we'd work on homework together. I noticed that there were no more free shows. I didn't see any more of Zack.
But other than that, we seemed to be at exactly the same place we had been before. Nothing had changed between us. It was like everything that had happened in his bedroom had been forgotten. I was glad. I didn't want to lose Zack.
However I was making very little progress in the swimming department, and it started to frustrate Zack. I think he had thought that after four or five lessons I'd be doing laps with him, whereas I was still barely comfortable more than ten feet from the ladder in the shallow end.
Then disaster struck.
It had started out like any one of the other days. We had been going back and forth in the shallow end, me kicking on a board and Zack standing beside me. We stopped and I put my feet down to discover the water was at my chest, about six inches from my neck. I'd never been that deep before.
I panicked.
Letting go of the board I started scrambling back to the shallow end, clawing my way past Zack, almost bowling him over. I had to get back to the shallow end my brain was screaming at me! I could drown! I was going to drown!
I was trying to run, but the water was holding me back. My panic was rising. I could drown! I could drown!
Zack was talking to me, yelling at me, but I couldn't hear what he said. I just kept going until I had a hold on the rail of the ladder and was in the safety of the shallow end. I grabbed onto the ladder, breathing heavily and trying to calm down.
I turned, trying to appear calm again, and I saw Zack advancing towards me.
"Hey!" he said, "you nearly knocked me over." He was good natured about it, but I'd had enough.
"I'm getting out," I said.
"We just started!" he countered. He really couldn't figure me out.
"No, I'm done," I said, trying to appear calm when I was anything but.
"Come on you big chicken! Don't wimp out now! We'll just do a couple more."
Big mistake. There was no malice in what he said; he was just trying to egg me on. It was probably something he'd say to his teammates when they were practicing. But it was the worst thing for me to hear. I just saw red and exploded.
"Fuck you!" I screamed in his face, and I was out of that pool in a second flat, grabbing up my clothes and bag, and out the door before I even knew what I was doing. I don't even remember exactly what I did. It was like I came too outside his front door, still wet and holding my clothes in a bundle. Luckily it wasn't too cold out, and I had a towel. I quickly dried myself, pulled on my pants and shirt, and then hopped on my bike and rode home.
------------------------------- To be continued...
------------------------------- My other stories:
Boy Bands: All The Ways I Love You
Boy Bands: Birthday Blues