Discovering Steven by Steve Swann
I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, I guess it comes from a desire to see if writing my own erotica has the same effect on me as reading other people's does. This is a work of semi-fiction... The lead character is based on me; some of his experiences were mine, but all of the other characters and details have been changed, or just made up. Enjoy, and send any feedback you might have to thefaceman@letterboxes.org please! It's all appreciated, even if it's negative.
First, some background. My name is Steven. I'm British, and I live in Nottingham. It's a decent sized city, fairly unremarkable. I'm 14, in year 9 at school and I'm frankly a bit of a geek. I'm naturally very introverted, I find it hard to talk to new people, and aside from to play sport, I spend most of my time at home, in my room, on the computer, or with my head buried in some book or another. I'm about 5'5", with long brown curly hair that falls down to my shoulders, a scrawny body, and a smattering of acne across most of my upper body. I don't really like much about myself except for the hair. This is the story of how I went from that, to the confident, outgoing, popular gay 19-year-old I am now.
When I was growing up, I did notice that I always looked at guys before girls. I didn't really think much of it, I never really had much in the way of sexual feelings until I hit my teens. I guess I was too busy devouring books or something! But when I discovered masturbation, it was always boys that my mind seemed to focus on. Never any particular boy though, just creations from my imagination linked with people I'd played football or cricket against. That was until Ben joined my cricket team...
Ben was my age, only a few months older and an inch taller, but he was on a different planet in terms of looks. He was lean, with the faint outlines of muscles just developing under his skin, which was a good few shades darker than my pale body. I only really got those impressions through watching him get changed out of the corners of my eye, we never showered at the cricket club unless we really had to; the facilities left a bit to be desired. Ben and me were the stars of the junior team, him the dominating opening batsman, me the wily, thoughtful spin-bowler. One weekend in late August, one of the senior teams at my club were short on players, and me and Ben got our first shots at adult cricket together. Because we didn't really know anybody in the team, we stuck together, and over the next few weeks our friendship blossomed, though it was totally innocent from his point of view, I thought.
After the last game of the year, me and Ben were waiting for our mums to collect us from the ground, and both of them seemed to be running somewhat late. We were the last two people around as it was starting to get dark, when my mobile phone rang. It was my mum, according to the display. She quickly explained that the car wouldn't start, and asked if I could make my own way home. I agreed I'd get the bus, and she hung up.
"Problems?" asked Ben, taking his iPod earphones out.
"Car's knackered, gotta get the bus." I replied
"You can come back to mine for a bit if you want" Ben said, "Mum won't mind, her and Dad are going out tonight anyway. We can play xbox or something."
Not wanting to spend the next hour lugging my cricket bag on and off buses, I readily agreed, but my mind was going a million miles an hour. I don't often get invited round to people's houses. Like I said, I'm introverted! I was curious to see Ben's room, if only too see how bad mine was in comparison. When Ben's mum arrived he explained what was going on, and before long we were pulling up in Ben's driveway. Ben told me to follow him in, and up we went to his room. When I went in, it was a shock to say the least...
It was a big room, and it put my room to shame immediately. Along one side was a big set of mirrored wardrobes, there was a double bed, a good sized desk and a huge TV. I'd known Ben's family was kinda well-off, but it still surprised me. It wasn't the biggest shock though. That was the posters. On all three remaining walls, there were pictures of guys our age and slightly older, most of them shirtless, all taken from modelling magazines by the looks of them. Ben didn't notice that I'd stopped when walking in, and it was only when he turned around to pass me an xbox controller that he saw the look on my face, and where I was looking. Suddenly he looked a little nervous, but only for a second, then his confident smile returned.
"Bit of a surprise, eh?" He asked. I nodded, not taking my eyes off the pictures. I'd seen stuff like it before, sure, but I had no idea that Ben was even slightly gay, so I was a fair bit taken aback.
"Yeah, I had no idea you were... well..."
"Gay?" Ben said.
"Yeah." I replied.
"I don't shout about it, but if anyone asks, I admit it. I'm confident about myself. I told my parents years ago." He smiled and laughed a bit. "You can stop looking at the walls you know, Ste."
"Sorry." I stammered, tearing my eyes away, back to Ben, who'd sat back onto his bed. My mind was going fast now. The revelation about Ben's sexuality had stirred something inside me, and in my boxers, I felt my cock begin to grow. I quickly walked forwards and sat down, crossing my legs to save me the embarrassment of Ben seeing my boner.
"You're gay too, aren't you?" Ben said. He wasn't looking at me, he was flicking through the channels on the TV. He was being very nonchalant about everything really, much to my annoyance because I was all jumpy. I'd never talked to anybody about my sexuality before, except on the internet, which is different!
"I... sort of." I said. "I've not told anyone though."
Ben turned to look at me, and he smiled. "I saw you looking at me getting changed you know. You're not as subtle as you think you are. Did you know I looked back though?" He stuck his tongue out at me, and my eyes widened.
"You looked at ME?" I was shocked. "But I'm... ugly!"
Ben laughed again. "If you believe that, you're an idiot. If it wasn't for your acne you'd be stunning."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I asked, slightly annoyed.
Ben smiled, leaned in close to me, and then, to my surprise, gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "Yep." He whispered.
That's part one then folks. If you think I should keep going, drop me an email at thefaceman@letterboxes.org
All feedback appreciated!