2-2-02
I can remember being the only one in the world when I was twelve.
No gay child should need to deal with that reality ever again. We do have a voice and we can save the our children from a society that thinks they're better off dead than gay.
Discovering Gregory
Chapter 24 The Son's Only Moon
The air in Van's camper weighed a ton. I considered making a run for it but escaping to Greg's didn't seem like much of an option. I found that I couldn't look at Van and luckily Augie went to take a piss because I couldn't take my eyes off his semi-erect ruddy red dick. While we were alone with him and the only two people close enough for him to slug, Timmy decided things weren't quite bad enough yet, and so he added gasoline to the fire.
"Michael saw."
"Shit!" Van said. "Did you sell tickets or just invite passersby?"
"What now?" Augie asked, coming out of the john and leaning on the fridge at the other end of the camper.
"The skinny geek who played football with us was watching too."
"Oh no," Augie said in major distress. "Everyone's going to know."
"He isn't that skinny," Timmy said.
"Yeah, he is," I said.
Van took the seat across the table from where Timmy and I were sitting. Augie turned his back to us and leaned against the fridge with his face in his arms. All I could think about was what I'd seen Van doing to that beautiful shapely round ass of his. The heavy air suddenly grew hot as I studied the curve and crack until Timmy leaned over to see what it was I was looking at. Van turned to look over his shoulder.
"Will you two quit. Get your mind off it for just a second."
"Sorry," I apologized, resting my forehead on the table, but I could still see Augie.
"I don't suppose I've got to ask what you think you saw," Van said, hoping it wasn't as bad as it was.
"Quite a bit," Timmy said proudly.
"And what happened to your pants boy? You pee yourself or what?"
Timmy turned a brilliant red, not quite up to Augie's best color, but close enough for an honorable mention. For a second it seemed like Timmy figured there was no escaping the difficult truth, his head drooped and he folded his hands in front of him before confessing.
"Yeah, I pissed myself," he said, looking at me for help.
"You were out there long enough to do that?" Van asked. "You did it in your pants? Jesus! Aren't there any limits any more? What are you guys thinking?"
"He did it," Timmy said, deferring to me after his lie failed. "I mean his hand did it. What could I do? He won't leave me alone. The boys a sexual fiend. I knew I said I wouldn't tell on you Martin, but the truth hurts."
"Yeah, right! Fuck me, Martin! fuck me while I watch!" I mocked, lifting my head up high enough to be able to see Augie's smooth hot ass one more time as I spoke.
"Oh, Jesus," Augie moaned into his arms.
"You should know better," Van started in on me this time. "I thought you were halfway intelligent. You realize the position you've put us in? How dangerous this could be if that other kid talks about this to his father? What were you thinking? I wouldn't have expect this of you Martin."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I only.... I don't know why I like watching. I just do. Once I saw you... once I knew what you were doing, I had to watch. I've never seen anything like that before. You guys know about sex."
"The devil made you do it," Van said, mocking me about the way I did Timmy.
"Something like that. I couldn't stop watching. I knew I shouldn't. I knew it was private between you two, but I wanted to see it. I would say I'm sorry for looking, only I don't feel sorry. I mean, it was awesome. Both of you were awesome. I want to have sex like that."
"Thanks for your critique. I don't suppose you'd both promise not to say anything to anyone about what you saw us do."
"Fuck!" Augie moaned to the fridge.
"Greg's been trying to fuck him all day. I don't see what the problem is if he likes that kind of thing," I blurted out in a burst of jealous fervor.
"But he hasn't," Augie said, finally looking toward the table with fire in his eyes. "I pick who fucks me, understand. Shit! I'm trying to explain my sex life to two children."
"I'm not going to say anything," I said. "It's none of my business who you do it with."
"Why?" Timmy asked passionately. "I'd figure you for the fucker. I wanted you to fuck me. I had a wet dreams about it."
"I didn't know Greg let you sleep," I said, turning on Timmy.
"Shut up!" Timmy snapped.
"You go to jail, asshole. You learn about stuff you've never thought of before. You get free and you forget what you did up there. Then you meet a guy like Greg, who's at you every minute, sensing he can get it off you. You start remembering your dick being harder than its ever been. You remember how you cum and keep on cumming with a guy doing that to you. You realize it's part of you and you want to feel those feelings again. Not with a punk like Greg but with a man like Van." Augie now stood at the table with his eyes blazing fire.
"But you like girls," I protested in my limited knowledge of sexuality as I noticed his dick a few inches from my arm. "How can you.... I mean... getting a blowjob, sure, most guys go for that. I don't understand this end of it if your straight."
"Fuck you, Martin. I don't have to justify to you what I like. I'm a free man now. No one tells me what I like. Just go fuck yourself."
"Martin!" Van said with anger before he caught himself. "Look, this is private. He doesn't need to explain why he does what he does to you two. Augie likes what he likes and you get to like what you like. He does what he wants and you do what you want. Leave him alone with your questions. It was as much my doing as his. I'm supposed to be the mature one in this crowd. I'm supposed to have self-control. I'm as guilty as any of the rest of you because I know better."
"Wasn't either. You said no. I pushed it, Van. Me. Greg got me going. I met you and I knew. Don't say it was you It wasn't you. As soon as you said you liked me it was all over."
"I went along. I could have said no," Van said.
"Of course, you did him a favor. You couldn't reject him after all that football," I blurted out. "You and all this crap you fed me about happiness coming from within. It's bogus right? Something to tell the stupid kid. Seems like it comes from your dick just like the rest of us."
My venom even shocked me. I didn't know why I was pissed at Van but I was. He sat silent listening to my speech. He looked as though someone had slapped him, but I'd only called him a liar and a fraud. No one else spoke as Van regrouped, trying not to loose it because of a crazed adolescent's temper tantrum.
"You asked me and I told you the best I could. Nothing has changed, Martin. Happiness won't ever come from your dick. Yes, sex can certainly make you feel happy. I was flattered Augie liked me. That makes me feel good. It didn't take much persuading to get where we went. I won't apologize for liking sex or for liking Augie. I am as vulnerable to charm and beauty as any one."
"Something like when I met Greg," I said, trying to ease off my belligerence.
"Like when you met Greg. Good analogy. Augie's Greg and I'm you. What would you have done in my place?"
"I could only dream of being in your place," I said in one of my more lucid moments, glancing quickly at Augie's naked body.
Augie looked at me with a strange expression on his face. Van looked at Augie and then at me. He was also shocked by this confession. Timmy wasn't shocked by anything to do with sex.
"I didn't invite him over with that in mind. I just didn't want him to leave me. I invited him over for a drink and some conversation and that's all. The rest happened because I didn't want to stop it from happening."
"I took it from there," Augie said.
"It just happened. It changes nothing about what I told you, Martin. You can grow as cynical as you like, but everyone isn't after your dick. Many of us like you because you are likeable. Life isn't just about the search for sex."
"I'm sorry about what I said. It wasn't fair," I said. "I wish I hadn't watched. I mean because it upsets you that I did, not because I didn't like what I saw. Not because I won't watch someone else if I get a chance."
"Speaking of which, you can buy my silence if that's all you are worried about. You seem to want it bad enough to pay for it," Timmy bargained.
"Timmy!" I said firmly.
"Just how much could you see," Augie asked. "Before we start shelling out. How do we know you saw much of anything? The curtain was closed."
"Michael and I came up right after you two left. Van was standing at the end of the table right about where you are and you were sitting down where Van is. You were rubbing his crotch as I recall."
"What?" Augie said. "Fuck! That was right after we got in here. He did see it all."
"You yanked your shorts off like fire ants had crawled up them," he went on.
"You and that string bean kid?" Augie asked figuring it out as he went along.
"Yep, that's Michael."
"Shit, he saw all that too?" Augie said.
"Yep. Pretty near all of it. He saw I was looking and he looked."
"That's not good. He doesn't impress me," Van said. "He's the son of a redneck, and rednecks aren't among the great thinkers of our time."
"So when did you show up?" Van asked me.
"I talked to Greg a few minutes so we could get something straight between us."
"In your dreams," Timmy said in a condescending tone.
"Will you butt out. Haven't you caused enough trouble for one day," Van yelled.
"...And I came over for some more RC and maybe to talk. I was still queasy from when I landed on my head. Those two were standing outside, Timmy and the String Bean. I didn't know what they were doing at first. I went over and they showed me," I said.
"That's more like it. I didn't have you pegged as a peeper," Van said, glaring at Timmy. "I should have known who started it."
"I didn't stop once I started," I said honestly. "God I want to have sex like that!" I blurted out.
"What did you see, Martin?" Augie asked less sympathetic to my weakness. "Just tell me what you saw."
"You were bent over the table with him behind you. You came. God did you ever! You sat on his lap. You took the rubber off slow like while you...."
"Okay, okay, I get the picture," Augie moaned. "You saw what I did with the rubber? Fuck!"
"Yeah, all of it. It was awesome."
"Oh fuck. I'm ruined," Augie said. "You guys can't tell anyone about this."
"Not on account of me," I said. "I'd never tell anyone. Who'd believe it? I was watching it and I didn't believe it. I mean it was hot as shit but I wouldn't ever talk about it or anything."
"Thanks," Augie said, not sounding thankful.
"Now all we've got to worry about is this con-man and the geek," Van said, sounding worried. "I believe Martin when he says he won't tell anyone. He won't cause us any trouble."
"Mike left right after I came up," I said. "Only we know about the rubber and the weird stuff."
"Shut up, Martin," Augie said.
"He didn't see the end?"
"Nope," I said.
"That's good," Van said.
"He played with my dick," I said. "Almost the entire time."
"He what?" Van asked.
"Right after I came up he latched on to my dick. Through my pants, I mean. He wasn't actually touching my dick, just through my pants. Like that."
"He's always trying to get me to blow him," Timmy said, sounding like he was trying to be helpful.
"He might keep his mouth shut if he knows you'll tell that on him," Van said. "It's our only leverage. You didn't touch him, Martin? You didn't place his hand on your dick to get a cheap thrill from the runt?"
"No! I just stood there watching Augie and he grabbed hold of it."
"That leaves this guy," Van said and we all looked at Timmy.
"Yeah, looks like I am holding the joker," Timmy said.
"What's it going to cost me," Augie said. "What do you want from me?"
"You, nothing, I wouldn't ever say nothin' to bust your balls. I like you. This guy promised me something and went back on it," Timmy said, sounding more playful than larcenous.
"This is serious business, Timmy. I want this resolved before you leave out of here," Van said. "This isn't a game."
"My terms are simple. Show Martin your dick and then give me a shot at it. He don't believe how big you are. He thinks Greg is big."
"They aren't in the same league," Augie verified. "Take it from someone who knows, Van's all man."
"What?" I protested. "Leave me out of this. Timmy's the one wants your dick."
Augie started laughing and seemed relieved for the first time.
"He should have done what he said he was going to do and I wouldn't want nothing to keep quiet. It's the principle of the thing," Timmy reasoned.
"What's so funny. I'm not a show horse," Van said.
"Why does this upset you so much. I mean both of them have seen it. I don't understand the deal," I said.
"Martin, if we lived in a perfect world I wouldn't care. I wouldn't mind that kind of attention. I've got two under aged boys in here, and one who's just short of legal. Two of them have an intimate knowledge of my genitalia. There's a redneck offspring out there roaming around having seen me in a compromising situation with one of you. That's why I'm upset."
"Why does any one care what we're going in here. We all agree sex is pretty good stuff."
"Yeah, only we live in a society that demands conformity and this doesn't conform to their idea of acceptability."
"Yeah, right, there all out there diddling each other's wives, that's lame. I don't care what they say is acceptable."
"It doesn't matter what they're doing, because they make the rules. They're more interested in what we're doing."
"You didn't do anything," Augie said. "Nothing I didn't get started."
"Yeah, me too. Once I saw that bulge in your britches, my full time occupation was getting a look," Timmy said reminiscent of their history together.
"You're missing the point. It's my responsibility not to let it happen. I did. That's big time jail time in this state if people start getting wind of it."
"How bogus is that," I said. "Why do they care so much about where I put my willie? It isn't like everyone isn't doing it. What do they think, we're all doing it by the numbers? Get real."
"That's the reality you've got to live with," Van said. "It's a reality you better understand before you go peaking into windows and letting little boys hang on your joint. It can end up bad if the wrong people hear about it."
"I never thought of any of that. I'm old enough to figure out what I like," I said. "I'm sure not going to consult my parents."
"Not in this state you aren't, little boy. Let that kid say you made him touch your dick, and you're history. They'll lock you up."
"Fuck that," Timmy said. "He's after it more than I am. Once he knew I'd blow, shit, he don't want to do nothin' else."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I understand now. I'm sorry I watched. I'm sorry you're upset. I'd never say anything. I'd undo it if I could."
"I know, Martin," Van said, patting my arm with his huge hand. "We'll just wait and hope for the best."
"Me too," Timmy said. "Now whip it out and let's close this deal."
"I wouldn't mind getting another look. You kept hiding it from me," Augie said sounding playfully.
Now, size isn't everything, and if it were, most of us would come up woefully short. That said, size is nice if you happen to have it. I certainly wouldn't be as aware as I am if not for the two sets of brothers I first fooled around with. The fact they were all hung like ponies left me feeling like I was robbed, but even Greg and the boys would have felt inadequate had everyone around them had a dick the size of Van's. Van was no doubt all man, having just missed being all dick. I came away with a new respect for Augie's resolve.
We left Van and walked out between the campers, turning toward the river house. There was movement when we passed the boathouse and Michael and two younger kids he had in tow came toward us.
"There he is. He's queer," Michael said, bumping into Timmy as a challenge no doubt.
"Is it true," a twelve year old, who looked way too much like Michael, asked. "It's not, is it Timmy? You're not like that."
We all came up short with Timmy's mouth falling open as the little boy looked at him carefully to see if he could find the answer in what he saw. Timmy immediately looked to see who else might be within earshot. Augie had stayed long enough to say goodbye to Van and came late to the meeting of the young moralist league. He bumped himself between Michael and Timmy, which was a neat trick since Michael had stayed planted in Timmy's face.
"This the one, Martin. He the one was feeling your dick," Augie growled.
"Yeah," I aid. "It's him. He grabbed my dick, the little creep."
The twelve year old turned to face his taller counterpart. His face showed the confusion he was left with. Will the real queer please stand up, I thought.
"Let's get out of here," Michael said in a shaky voice. "They're all queers. All of them."
"Be careful of him little boys. That's what queers do, accuse others to get the attention off themselves, and then they go for your dick," Augie said with his voice raising so they couldn't outrun the sound. "Has he felt your dick yet? That's how you know the queer ones."
"He has. I've seen him," Timmy said. "And that's his brother."
"As if I'm surprised. That should give him something to think about."
"I did not!" Michael said loudly as the three boys seemed to be arguing about fifty yards away with Michael between the two younger boys.
His inquisitors stayed focused on him and lost interest in our departure.
We walked along in some quick developing brotherhood I hadn't sensed before the encounter. We were all connected in a way. Augie was happier than I'd ever seen him. He cracked jokes and held Timmy's hand as we walked. I got on the other side so he'd feel obligated to hold my hand, and he did, looking at my eyes as we walked. It was nice.
"There's one thing I don't understand," Timmy said.
"Heaven forbid there should be something about my sex life you don't know about," Augie said. "Will you guys get over yourselves. I don't ask you about what you do."
"I don't understand how it fit. I mean, I like that. A lot! I'd never try to fit Van up there. How could you do that?"
"Practice, Timmy."
"How? You ain't no wider than me. He's... he's huge. He'd rip me apart. No way."
"Up there, you first do it because they make you. One guy was almost as big as Van. Most were regular size and a couple were biggrer, more Greg's size. You better not tell anyone any of this. It's private. You understand."
"Okay, I won't. So they raped you? Like the stories about young boys going to prison?"
"Yeah, pretty much like that. You fight the first time or two. Then you understand you're giving them more pleasure. Some only like it if you fight. No fun if you don't. They lose interest."
"There took turns?" Timmy asked thoughtfully
"Uh huh! That's how it works."
"How many?"
"First time, I guess all nine. That was the most."
"In one night," Timmy said in horror.
"Yeah, I saw a couple twice. You loose track after three or four. You make it into one long fuck instead of a lot of little fucks. Makes it easier."
"How'd you stand it?" Timmy asked.
"You don't. You survive it. I survived."
"How?" I asked, trying to picture it but unable to connect to it.
"Like at the dentist. You pretend he isn't drilling the shit out of your teeth. You pretend guys aren't drilling the shit out of your ass."
"Damn," Timmy said.
"They actually took turns," I said, trying to imagine it.
"They actually took turns," Augie said. "One guy was almost as big as Van. He never went first and was pretty gentle. That's how come I can do Van, I guess."
"That must be terrible," I said.
"You adjust, adapt, and move on," Augie said.
We stood on the road next to the house to finish our conversations. Augie turned to face us and his eyes shinned in the starlight and from the light on the outside of the house. He looked really nice. He even looked happy. I remembered how unhappy he seemed the first few times I saw him. Augie had changed or I had.
Dinner was ham and cheese on rye, ham on rye, cheese on rye, and cold rabbit by the bucket. There was fresh squeezed lemonade in the fridge and it was exquisite. How she kept it from being too tart I don't know, but it rolled down my throat like one or the other was silk. I must have drunk a gallon on my own.
We sat down in the basement talking for hours after dinner, Timmy, Doug, Augie, and me. Greg had something to do but that came from Doug. I didn't see him after we got back. I lay on my sleeping bag as Augie leaned his back against the cinderblock wall with both Timmy and Doug on either side, leaning against him. We talked about nothing in particular but the conversation always came back to the jail where Augie did time. This time it was Doug who had the questions as Augie's history was slowly coming together.
"They didn't knife you while you were up there?" Doug asked.
"No, I was a commodity. I was protected."
"I'm sorry," Doug said, sounding like he wanted to cry.
Augie put an arm around Doug, and then Timmy insisted on an arm of his own. I felt a bit left out but they didn't even know I was there, so it wasn't a big deal. Augie was the centerpiece of the conversation once more.
"So what's up with Greg?" Doug asked.
"Hell if I know. He was pissed about you two watchin'. It wasn't like we didn't hear you. We went to confront you... well, you know, on the path. He was bent out of shape over that. What we saw. Oh yeah, he wants me to go hunting tonight."
"That's not all he wants. Why do you let him?" Doug asked, snuggling against Augie, looking for more than the answers.
"I haven't. I know what he's after. Don't tell him he ain't going to get it." Augie said. "It'll do him good if I leave him high and dry after he's worked so hard for it."
"Why would you do it if you don't have to? You aren't locked up any more," Doug said. "My brother gets what he wants."
"He hasn't gotten me and won't. I don't care for him. His style anyway. His pretty immature about it."
"What did they do to you up there."
"You rally want to know? I think Timmy and Martin are tired of hearing about it."
"Not me," I said, all ears.
"Me either. You've never told about the first night. How it started and all," Timmy said.
"The first night! They waited 'til lights out. We was in this ten man cubical. No bars separating us. They'd been nice all day. A little too nice, you know. I wondered what was up with that. Givin' me candy, sharing stuff, acting like we was friends."
"Some of them were nice?" Doug asked.
"I suppose. They were all three, four, five years older. I liked the attention. Older guys never liked me before. I wasn't very well liked as a kid. Never stayed anywhere long enough to make friends.
"It made the first day better. I wasn't as scared after awhile. One guy came onto me after lights out. One of the oldest. He sat on my bunk talking. We was in skivvies and like that, and he started rubbing on my leg through the blanket, you know. I hadn't had any since leaving the foster home and I was getting all I wanted there. Three of the four girls were screwing all the guys."
"What happened?" Doug asked. "In jail."
"I'm getting there. First let me tell you about this one kid at the foster home. That leads into the other. Whenever I was with the fifteen year old girl at the foster house, and just when I was with her, he'd sit at the foot of the bed and play with my balls while she rode my dick. I'd be on my back, so they hung down for him. It's the only thing I done with a dude before jail. I never minded it, but I thought I should. I missed it when he didn't do it. It turned me on. I'm just throwing that in so you know I thought of it before."
"So the guy was playing with your leg, remember," Timmy said, feeling Augie's thigh until his hand was up between his legs.
"I was still in shock over being sent to prison. I hadn't done anything since getting busted, like I said. I was thinking about that kid playing with my balls while I was screwing. It got me going when the guy rubbed my leg. So I was horny as shit and now the guy's hand is under the blanket and I'm just letting him do what he wants. I was hard and he felt that, but just like he was checking to see if it was. He laid on the bed with me, all up on me, you know, and he starts rubbing my skin, up inside my thighs and like that.
"Two of the youngest dudes came over with their dicks out, hard, you know. It was obvious what was going down by then. One kissed me and put my hand on his dick. The next thing I knew we were sucking and fucking, only I was the fuckee. The old guy went first but my mouth was already stuffed full, so there wasn't much I could say. It happened all of a sudden. He wa up there before I knew it."
"What was it like?" Doug asked.
"Scared the shit out of me. There were dicks in my mouth and up my ass for hours."
"Why did it scare you?" Timmy asked.
"I don't know. I was all overheated. It wasn't like with girls. There was so much going on I couldn't deal with all the feelings. My dick, my ass, my mouth, my hands were all involved. Guys kept rubbing on me to keep me hard, and it was so hard I thought it might burst open. It hurt it got so hard a few times. I couldn't figure out why I was so horned up over being raped.
"There was only two of the young guys that did stuff to me that I'm aware of. I mean that tried to make me feel good. The rest would touch my dick while they screwed me, but two guys kissed, sucked, did everything. That made it easier on me. They could have just tore me apart, but they wanted what they wanted. We're talking pretty young guys, late teens, early twenties. I'm sure hard time would have been a lot worse. These guys had probably been through it themselves. I was new meat to them."
"Sounds pretty bad," Timmy asked pointedly.
"That first night was pretty bad because I didn't know if they would kill me or what. It took awhile for me to realize it wasn't as bad as it could be. The thought was worse than the doing."
"What do you mean?" Doug asked.
"Picture nine guys in line waiting for a turn on your ass. It's pretty scary even now. But it was one at a time and I was making out or getting head some of the time. There was a mixture of fear and lust. It's not like in the movies, wasn't that way for me. It had its moments. It jams all your senses in high gear after a couple of nights. You go with it and can't believe all the stuff they're doing to you."
"I bet," Timmy said. "You did them all the first night?"
"Yep! That's the way it worked."
"After that?" Doug asked.
"I fought some but I never won. A few guys just took what they wanted when they wanted it. The rest were a bit nicer. You needed to figure out if you wanted it hard or if you wanted it easy. Most lost interest the next time a new fish came."
"New fish?" Doug asked.
"New con. Preferably new young con. The next one was prettier than me. He got it hard the first night. Wasn't too nice a kid. Kept fighting over it. Nasty mouth on him. They liked that. They didn't have to hold anything back."
"So it was easier to give it up willingly," Timmy said.
"No doubt," Augie mused. "I was lifting weight by then and once I was getting bigger, I only did what I wanted. The nice guys stayed nice to me and the mean guys got with the other kid."
"You a bad ass?" Timmy asked, feeling Augie's muscle.
"No, I'd prefer to think of myself as a good ass. I didn't mess with anyone if they didn't give me no grief."
"Not the new kid?" Timmy asked.
"Yeah, well, I'd been the center of attention for awhile. I had to make sure someone else was taking my place. That meant sealing the deal in his ass. He was a fighter. I understood what they meant about liking you to fight. A pussy, but a fighter the night I fucked him. It was the only time I joined in by the way. If I hadn't they'd a been right back to my bunk wanting my ass the next day. You had to mark your turf if you didn't want to belong to someone else."
"So that got you off the hook?" Doug asked.
"Sorta. Freddie became their new boy. I did just what I wanted."
"So you liked it? Some of it?" Doug asked.
"Funny! I wouldn't use those words. I liked some of them. Some I hated."
"The guy with the big dick?" Timmy asked.
"Neutral. He was gentle but old. Twenty-three or maybe older."
"Like Van?" Timmy asked.
"Nothing like Van. The guy was a con, slow, but harmless. He'd cum in fifty seconds. So Van doesn't scare me."
"What about Van?" Doug asked. "Why would he scare you. He's nice."
"Nothing," Augie said. "He's twenty-four, that's all."
"Timmy says he's big," Doug said, raising his head off of Augie's chest. "Like that other guy?"
"I suppose," Augie said.
"So what did you like?" Doug asked.
"Not so much what, who."
"Who?"
"Yeah, some of them were cool. Three by the end. We took care of each other."
"You had sex with them? I mean because you wanted?"
"Yep. If I had to do it I wanted to do it with the ones I liked. I needed sex. I wasn't going to go without."
"I'm hungry. You hungry?" Doug said. "Want a sandwich?"
"Sure," Augie said. "Some of that lemonade too."
"I'll go too," Timmy said, jumping up. "It'll take both of us to carry it if everyone wants to eat again. I want some Ruffles. There any left?"
"How about a soda instead," Augie said.
"Ice?" Doug asked.
"Yeah, ice."
"Martin?"
"Whatever you're having. I'll take one of each."
Augie stood and straightened out his clothes before moving to the window.
"They got a beautiful lay out."
"Yeah, the moon and stars should be out," I said. "They shine in that window all night. I watch them twinkling out just before I get up in the morning. You ought to stay with us down here tonight and I'll show you."
"You an early riser too?"
"Yeah, I like talking to Greg's father. He's neat. He's funny."
"Yeah, he's a wise man. He knows things."
"Yeah, he does."
"They act like such kids," he said. "Timmy and Doug."
"They are kids," I said. "You're a man. We just seem like kids."
"I didn't say you. You act grown up," he said, turning to look at me and his black eyes shinned. "I get accused of that a lot. I think because I never hung with other kids."
"Why's that?"
"I was different. I never liked other kids. Too giggly and stupid."
When I moved up beside him I looked out at the clear night. Our arms brushed even though the window was eight feet wide. I could feel him next to me.
"What you said when we was at Van's. You mean that or what?"
"I think so," I said. "Depends on which stupid thing it was you remember."
He turned to face me. "You said you wished you were in Van's place when he was doing me. Did you mean that?"
"Oh That. Sure. I wish I could be like him. I wish I could make you feel as good as he was making you feel. I shouldn't talk about it. It was wrong me watching it."
"No, it's cool. I trust you. Guys watched all the time up there. It don't bother me."
"I could only dream," I said. "I think that's what I said."
"Yeah, you could only dream. That was nice. I didn't think you liked me. Doug and Timmy, I knew all along that they wanted to... but you... you never get close enough that I can tell much."
"I am close," I said, feeling the heat coming from him as our eyes studied the other.
His lips were moist and trembling ever so slightly like he was nervous doing it. He made a slight noise I'd never heard come from anyone before. It was hot. Everything about Augie was hot. His tongue was like the rest of him, long and powerfully slender. I gasped when his hand felt me. It was gentle and he felt the entire length before squeezing the tip between his thumb and forefinger. I kissed more passionately, sucking his tongue. Our bodies locked together and I felt faint. My head spun as he explored my soul with his tongue, and that's when I heard someone clearing his throat.
"Excuse me. They said you were down here. I didn't mean to interrupt?" Greg said, interrupting. "I just wanted to tell you that if you're going hunting with me and the old man, you might want to sleep up in my room. It's a nice soft double bed. Plenty of room for... you. Anyway, come on up when you're done. I'm turning in so I get some rest."
"Yeah, I'll be up later," Augie said looking in my eyes and kissing me again without worrying about Greg being there. The next time we broke off the kiss both Doug and Timmy stood there with the refreshments, waiting for us to take a break. They both looked shocked at what they saw.
"You keeping him warm for us?" Doug asked. "You didn't look interested before."
"He was cold. I decided to warm him up," Augie said without hesitating.
"That'll do it," Timmy said. "Anyone for Lemonade? I brung the rest down. Maybe I should just throw it on you two. I mean like there's steam coming off Martin."
We all laughed. writersrealm@hotmail.com Please write DG or Discovering Gregory as subject on your email. Thanks.
How is it that heterosexual's sexuality is natural but mine is some kind of choice. How many of you got to choose? I was attracted to men even before puberty. Was that a choice I made because I wanted to be ostracized?
I think sexuality develops at different times at varying degrees and with unique drives and tastes, but we have been made so fearful of not conforming that we can't talk about our differences. This could explain why most marriages fail and why so many kids kill themselves instead of living the lie they are told they must live if they want to succeed.