Chapter 3
Matt awoke the next morning and stretched. After remembering where he was, he suddenly became overwhelmed with guilt of the night before.
Questions circled his slightly hungover brain, as he tried to remember the whole incident. He looked around the large room, and realised he was alone. Did he run? Did he look for Luke? Did this make him gay? Fuck, what have I done.
All this soon stopped as the door opened and Luke walked in holding two large cups of coffee.
Handing one to Matt, Luke looked at him, "Wanna talk?"
"Um, yeah, I'm confused, what we did, um, yeah, I swear I'm not gay. I didn't mean to give you that impression."
"Settle down, it's ok. Two guys hopped in to bed, looking for company. Two guys, drunk, two guys horny. In fairness to you, I should have pushed you aside and told you to fuck off. I should be apologising to you. I took advantage of the situation in hindsight, and that isn't fair of you."
Matt sat there thinking about what Luke said.
"Thank you for saying that, but I am also an adult, and I should take responsibilities for my action too"
"Well, how about we put it behind us, go down stairs have some breakfast, and you can finish my gardens off. I am sure you have many other clients who are waiting."
"Deal. What time is it?"
"9.45am. Why"
"Fuck, I normally start by 7:30am. No time for breakfast."
"Go have a shower through there" Luke said pointing to a door way, "I will grab your clothes which Jeremy laundered, and I will let you get to it"
As Matt dived out of bed he looked at his phone. 16 missed calls, 15 from Jeff, 1 from his mom. This would take some explaining to get out of.
As Matt walked in to the Bathroom he was overcome by the sheer size of the shower. 6 jets, steam, pressure. You name it, it had it. Not sure how to use it, he pushed a few buttons on the panel as the shower came to life. The shower gel was better than any he'd ever used before, and the heat and pressure was just out of this world.
"I have your clothes, where would you like them" Luke called out, trying to give Matt privacy.
Not hearing him, Luke walked in to the bathroom to see a very horny Matt jerking off, with his cock all lathered up.
"Well, not what I expected to see, but none the less" Luke said as he placed Matts clothes down and exiting before he was spotted.
A few minutes later Matt exited the shower, and saw that his clothes were laid out for him. "Fuck, how did they get here. The guys gonna think I am a horny teen" half embarrassed he thought to himself.
Dressed and showered, he got to the bedroom door and Luke was pulling out some clothes for himself. "I don't suppose you have a toothbrush in this joint I could use"
"Ah dental hygiene is always important. Second draw there should be an unopened head. Attach it to my electric. Best I can offer"
"Cheers" Matt said. "Hey Luke, for the record, I had a great night, and thank you"
"Go get ready, you're already late."
Matt got going after that, and by noon he was in his truck and on his way to his next client. As he left Luke's, he felt odd. A strange odd. Not bad, just odd. He probably needed to figure that one out in his own time.
He decided that explanations were needed as he phoned Jeff from the safety of his truck.
"Where the fuck have you been. I have been worried sick." Was Jeffs greeting.
"Sorry dad. I was feeling a bit below average, so I went out and got drunk, passed out in bed. Slept in. But back on track."
"Fuck Matt, call me when that happens bud. I worry about you."
"I know, but sometimes I gotta do it all myself."
Matt didn't think he was really lying to Jeff. He never lied to Jeff. He was feeling low, he did get drunk. He did pass out in bed. Perhaps the sequence was not what Jeff read in to it, but it worked for Matt whilst he figured everything out.
"As long as you are ok. Is the Coleman job finished?" Jeff asked
"Yeah, client seemed happy. Beautiful place, amazing layout. He wants to do more, and I think he will want us to do it all" Matt responded
"Damn Fags! They always have the money" Luke responded.
The comment made Matt freeze up in his seat and pull over. Jeff had never really expressed any homophobic comments before, or if he had Matt had just overlooked them, but this one cut through him.
"He seemed ok to me. He could bring us a lot of money Jeff, I think we sould look at the business rather than personalities" Matt shot back, probably more forceful than he intended.
"Ok big fella, settle down. You can have them all if you like them that much"
"What's that supposed to mean? You know what Jeff, not in the mood for you to be a cunt today, talk later" he said before cutting off the phone.
Within 10 seconds Jeff was dialling again, and as Matt ignored this and 6 other calls from him, he was now 100% freaking out & more confused than when he was when he woke up in Luke's bed this morning.
Switching his phone off he purposefully drove across and up to Malibu. He wanted the water, the sand, to be alone.
Walking the long stretch of sand between houses and water, Matt kept thinking about the night before. He kept digging within to try to understand what had happened. What had allowed him to be taken by another man. It was a sin in his families deep religious eyes. His best mate had called Luke a fag. If they knew what he had done, would they disown him? Would they walk away from him? It's not what he wanted, and he knew he wasn't gay. He was married and banged heaps of chicks when he was at college. He'd never even thought of any many as attractive, or in a sexual manner, ever. Why now. What had changed. Again, he started to tear up as he continued walking. A walk that lasted over an hour before he was stopped by a rocky outcrop and incoming tides.
As he turned to head back to his truck, he realised the tide had come in so much, he was all but stranded. The only way out was up.
Looking for a viable path out, he noticed a rope ladder leading to a stairway. He reached up and started the climb, before finding him self on a platform at the bottom of the stairs. As he walked up, he cam to the back garden of a large house, where an elderly lady was sipping on a glass of wine, watching the sunset.
Trying not to startle her, Matt yelled out "Excuse me ma'am" he said in his politest voice. "The tide caught me, and saw your ladder"
Laughing she stood up "Happens every second day my dear boy, are you ok"
"Yes, just embarrassed" Matt said lowering his head.
As she walked over, she noticed he had a large graze on his knee. "Oh look at you, go and sit down and let me clean it up"
"No really, it's just a graze"
"Nonsense. They can turn just as bad."
The lady reminded Matt of his grandmother, and was in no mood to fight. He sat in the spare chair and waited for the lady to return, which she did, along with what appeared to be a glass of wine.
"Hear, for you, I am sure you need it after that climb" she said as she went about cleaning Matts knee.
"Sit and keep an old lady company whilst that dries" she said, more instructional than a request.
"Thank you. I'm Matthew"
"I'm Betty, a pleasure young man. What brings you down here on the tide change"
"I didn't know. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts"
"That's why I live here. To be alone with mine"
"Want to get anything off that big chest of yours" She asked with a kind smile, a reassuring one, that allowed Matt to release a big sigh.
"You wouldn't believe me if I tried"
"Try me. I may be 87, but son, I have certainly been around the traps"
As Matt opened up, as best he could, without revealing Luke was a man, Betty listened. She nodded in the right places, she said the right words, and when Matt finally, exhausted got to the end, she just looked at him, reached her hand out to his arm, and said "He's a man ha"
"Yes" Matt said, embarrassed by this admission.
"What a load of poppy cock." Betty said.
"Honey, in my day, in this town, they were everywhere. Probably more than now. I married two of them, and you know what. I wouldn't change a thing." She said with a playful pat.
"This may sound harsh, but trust me. Your wife died honey, not you. It is ok to mourn but it is not ok to live the life of those passed. 4 times I have been married. 3 mistakes. The last one was a gem. We get it right eventually, and if your friends or family cannot accept you for who you are, well darling, there is a bed here for you"
Matt was speechless and was feeling a little better, and more settled amongst himself. Betty asked him where he had parked, and after he told her, she demanded her driver take him to his truck.
"It will take you an hour to walk back. It's dark, don't be silly. I insist"
"I don't know what to say. Thank you"
"And remember, you now know where I live, come visit again. I like you kid"
As they walked in the house. A beautiful Spanish style beachfront place, Betty latched on to Matts arm as she called out for her driver.
"Peter, take my new friend here to his truck. Another lost soul from the beach"
"Yes ma'am.
And with that, Matt bent down and gave Betty the slightest peck on the cheek. "Thank you"
As he got back to his truck it was late, and dark. He started her up and headed home. He needed a good nights rest.
Not hungry, he stripped off, showered and hit the bed. Laying there, he was immediately drifting off far away to the events of 24hrs ago. What Luke did to him. How he touched him and sucked him. Licked his arse. Things he never thought guys did to each other. Grabbing his phone, he pulled up Porn hub, and instead of usual college girl/jock vids, he went to the gay section.
At first it was very confronting, and it was not things Matt ever thought he could do to another guy, but it was some thing, that interested him. He found some mutual jerk off vids which turned him on, and even some oral ones, but the ones that got him turned on the most were the ones where guys were kissing and touching. He related to that. He loved the passion and the touch. Watching these videos for about 20 m ins, Matt realised that without touching himself, he was about to cum. As he went to help himself finish his cock shot out a creamy load of jizz over his torso.
"Fuck, that has never happened before" He said out loud to himself.
Cleaning up, he returned to bed, and laying there, he again picked up his phone.
Sending a text message, it was simple "Won't be in to work tomorrow. Need some alone time. Talk later"
Seeing the text message had been delivered, and also noticing that it had been read straight away, Matt turned his phone off.
He needed to take care of himself. But right now, it was time for sleep
Chapter 4
Waking at 7:30 he laid in bed. He had tossed and turned and wrestled with what his plan was for the day. He knew one option he had, but he didn't want to rely on that option. He wanted to be his own person, and he wanted to make choices himself.
Having a shower, and heading in to the kitchen, he made coffee and some eggs as he sat at the bench.
Pulling out his phone he switched it on. Text messages from Matt and his mother flooded his screen. Seeing that they were all just welfare checks of varying degree's he responded with very vague responses of just needing space and for everyone to back off. Switching to his safari browser, he started to google `gay sex apps' almost regretting it straight away as a swath of results opened up.
"Grindr?" he said out loud. "I've heard of that somewhere" before going to the app store and downloading it. Following the steps, step by step he was answering the questions one by one.
Age: 32
Height: 6'3'
Weight: Fucked if I know
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Hair: Blond
Eyes: Green
Body type: Muscular
Position: Ha?
Relationship Status: Widower
My Tribes: What the actual fuck is that
As the questions went on, he knew he was so far out of his comfort zone, he was ready to delete the whole thing and live life as a lonely widower. As he was contemplating what to do he received a text from an unknown number
"Hey Matt, you doing ok"
Thinking it was another person his mother or Jeff had gotten on to me, he responded with the same reply.
"Yep fine, just need space. Tell Mom or Jeff to stop getting people to text to me. Not in the mood"
Hitting send he felt strong and determined. It was seconds before he received a response
"Um, it's Luke here, was just a little concerned after you left the other day. All good, take care"
"Fuck. It wasn't meant for him. How do I get out of this one?" He thought to himself.
Looking at his phone he felt pretty bad. Rather than text, he decided to ring.
"Hey Luke" he said as Luke answered.
"Why Hello. I gather you're having a bad day."
"Not really, I just have jeff and my family on my case every time a fart"
"Charming. I understand what you're saying. I gather you're not working today?"
"No. I took the day off. I was doing something, but you saved me"
"Well, would you allow me to take you out to lunch?"
"Fuck it, why not!"
They agreed on a restaurant and times. Of course it had to be Beverley Hills, Luke insisted, and Matt just agreed.
12:30 on the dot Matt arrived at the very upmarket bistro. Trying to see if Luke was around he approached the entry before a very snooty Matrie Dè pounced on him.
"Can I help you" came the very terse response and a look of disdain.
"He's with me Brett, drop the guard" Lukes voice came from behind
"Hey Luke" Matt said, awkwardly extending his hand as Luke came in for hug
"Hey Matt, sorry I'm late. Bloody traffic"
"This way Mr Van Bruen. We have your regular table ready"
"Regular? Seriously, how do you afford this place."
"You've seen my house, right?" Luke laughed.
"Right. Gotcha"
After being seated, Luke looked across the booth at Matt. "Tough day?"
"Kind of. Some good and some bad, just some soul searching I guess"
"Anything I can help with?"
"Maybe. So after I left your place........" Matt started, and between talking non stop, ordering lunch, and the appetizers arriving, finally finished.
"Grindr? Really?" Was Luke's first comment as Matt finished his spiel of everything. Laughing, not in an evil way, a more jovial way, Luke continued on. "And when you had completed loading your profile, then what?"
Bright red, Matt took a sip of his wine. "Well, I was going to have sex with someone."
"Oh, now you're talking" Luke laughed.
Matt's feelings were hurt, and Luke could sense he had pushed the envelope to far.
Reaching out, he placed his hand on Matt's, much to Matt's surprise. "It's ok, most of the people eating here are gay. It's nothing new Matthew." Luke tried to reassure him.
"I'm not most people Luke. I don't know if I am gay or Bi, or whatever. I just wanted to try it with a guy I didn't know so he didn't tell anyone I knew."
"I get that. I do. And I can only imagine what you're going through. Talk to me if you need to. I wont bite. I promise not to hurt you. I'll just be here when you need me."
"Can I tell you something if you promise not to make a big deal out of it" Matt said flatly
"Of course you can"
"Well, as I was downloading Grindr, I was going to call over to your place and see if you wanted to fool around. To see if I was into it or not. But then I thought I would be using you. So that's why I got the App. You have been nice to me since we met, and I didn't want to fuck it up"
"Matthew, you are too sweet for your own good. I'm 20 years older than you, there are plenty of better looking, better built fish out in the ocean."
"I know, but I kinda like older guys I think. I mean look at him over there" Matt said indicating to a guy late 40's, silver hair, ok build. "He's kind of sexy I think"
"I actually know him if you want me to set you up" Luke said
"God no. I would freak. What I want is to kiss and cuddle, maybe touch and wank, and maybe I wouldn't mind sucking a dick. I don't know. I watched some porn last night, and mainly just that and I cum with out touching myself"
"Now that's a sight I'd like to see" Luke chimed in
"Well, maybe you will one day."
It was now two o'clock and they'd been sitting in the restaurant talking for ages, well past their meal. "What's on for the rest of the day?" Luke asked
"No plans, thought I would just have a walk around the shops. I never come here, I can't afford anything in these shops"
"Well, lucky for you, I need to grab a few things, so if you want to join me, please, I'd love the company"
Leaving the restaurant they walked passed a few high end boutiques that cant Luke's eye, but not his wallet. They ventured into a menswear shop that was more youth/young men orientated. "I need to get my nephew a few things for his birthday. He's about your size, you'll have to help me out." Luke said as he pulled various items out and had Matt try them on.
Just about everything Luke pulled looked amazing on Matt from the shirts to the shoes, and everything in between. Placing it all on the counter, Luke pulled out his ebony Amex card as the clerk rang everything up.
"That's $4,385 thank you Mr Van Bruen"
"Fuck me. Lucky nephew. How come everyone knows you in this town"
"Trust me Matthew, it is a good thing"
Matt let out a nervous laugh. Every time Luke called him Matthew it took on a different meaning. No one called him Matthew, not even his parents. Matty sometimes, Matt, but never Matthew. Matt liked it for a change. It made him feel good. Special even.
"Please have them delivered to this address for me, this afternoon, after 5pm"
"Yes sir" the clerk said, releasing his sales target had been achieved.
"How can you just drop so much money like that and not even blink" Matt asked out of curiosity.
"My late husband was a very very wealthy man, from a very wealthy family. I will never be able to spend the money that I have, but if I can make a difference to those around me, I will"
Matt was left pondering his comment. The man must have some serious coin, Matt thought to himself.
A few jumpers, a vase, a wooden antique desk and some other smaller items later, all of which would be delivered, Luke had finished his `shopping'.
"Right young man, I hope you have brightened up a bit today. I must head off, I have a meeting with my banker. But please, you have my number, don't be afraid to use it. I like you Matthew. You're one of the real ones"
And with that Luke leant in, hugged the bigger man and disappeared behind the door to his banker.
Walking back to his truck, Matt was a little high. High on life, it felt good to spend time again with Luke. Reaching his truck, he didn't even care that it had a ticket, he through it off and jumped in. Heading home he grabbed a 6 pack of beers to enjoy when he got home.
As he pulled up Jeff was waiting in his driveway. He knew he had to face him sooner or later, but later was his preferred choice. Pulling up and hopping out, he walked up to his oldest mate and fist pumped him as they always had.
"Yo, what's going on." Jeff asked, always straight to the point.
"Not much. Just had some things I need to take care of"
"Yeah, what sort of things?"
"You know, just things"
"No buddy, I don't know. You telling me the truth? You've been a bit off the last few days."
"I'm fine and I wish everyone would just back the fuck off"
The anger was unusual for Matt, but not unexpected. It made Jeff stop in his tracks.
"Bud, I need you, my family and everyone else to give me space and let me breath. I need to be my own person now. Sarah's gone. My life has changed. I need space and privacy to adjust to who I am"
"You're still Matt."
"Maybe I don't want to be."
"What horseshit is that supposed to mean"
"It means I am sick of being Matt. I need change. I need to find the real me"
As they were having this conversation a courier pulled up out the front.
"Either you dudes Matt the Gardener" The young guy asked
"Yeah, that's me"
"Cool delivery for you."
Walking over to the van with Jeff, inside the van was all the clothes that Luke had purchased for his Nephew, along with the vase. Inside the bag was a note.
"Clothes makeith the man. L"
Matt laughed and Jeff was trying to see what was written.
"You got yourself a rich girlfriend, ya dog"
"No Jeff. Nothing even remotely close."
"Well who's it off then."
"Just someone who's thinking about me at the moment"
Picking it all up and walking inside Matt was feeling on cloud 9.
"Want to head out bowling tonight?" Jeff asked.
"Not tonight. I just realised I have something important I need to do"