This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Tony diMarco -- yeah -- I am he!
(CA) Ben Hastings -- First love
(Maui) Ben Fisk -- First sex (+4 years)
Lucas diMarco -- my dad
Wendy diMarco -- my mom.
Joseph -- my Brother -- 17
Levi -- my brother - 15
Fred Stumpf -- 31 year old inactive member.
Johnnie Weinberg -- LDS Missionary
Ashton Staedler -- New friend
Mike Hoffman -- Ashton's Half-Brother
Geoff Redmond -- Mike's Friend
Rollin James -- Hawaiian High diver & government translator
From Ch. 9:
I looked at him. I spoke softly, "Fred -- will you just be mine -- just for tonight? And I will be -- just -- yours. Okay?"
"I want that more than you know." He whispered in my ear. Then he looked into my eyes. His smile was genuine -- as were his tears.
Chapter 10
He took me to the evening showing of the PCC spectacular extravaganza. I've seen it numerous times but never get tired of it. During the intermission, we both had ice cream and pineapple served in a hollowed out pineapple. He let me pay for it.
Then he took me to a small club that looked like a place that any haoli might just disappear from and never be heard from again. "They serve a mean Mai Tai here!" He said.
"I -- don't -- drink. I thought you knew that." I said, apologetically.
"I guess I might have at least guessed. Mind if I have one?"
When some of the local natives saw us, they started taunting me. "What's dis? High-fucking haoli don't wanna drink with scummy Hawaiians?" Said one. Another joined in and in a scary minute, we were surrounded by Hawaiians -- all much bigger than Fred -- probably some Tongans mixed in -- chanting something like, "Haoli too fucking good to drink with fucking Hawaiians." There was no escape. Just about the time I was getting ready to give myself up for dead, a huge man came into the door.
"Step away from the Haoli! -- unless you want to deal with us!" He was backed up by three other huge Polynesians, all in Police uniforms.
Everything stopped in the bar except for the funky Hawaiian music. Everyone stepped back except for one gargantuan Tongan. Quicker than we could react, the back of his hand brushed across my face and ended up in Fred's. The four police were on him immediately, but not before he broke two of my teeth, and my right cheek bone, and relocated Fred's nose to about where his right cheek should have been.
I lay aching but not having any idea I was injured as much as I was -- and there looming above me was the first big cop that came in the door.
"Do you know me, Tony?" He asked.
I squinted and through scarlet tears, I focused on -- -- "Bishop!" I exclaimed weakly. It was the bishop from the Young Adult Ward. "How -- I mean -- is um -- my friend okay?" I couldn't even remember Fred's name!
"I don't know yet. He looks dead to the world."
I tried to raise up and felt excruciating pain in my face. "Dead?" I said, whimpering.
"No, sorry, bad choice of words, Tony. He's not conscious at the moment, but he's breathing -- through his mouth.
I strained to look where Fred had been -- to my left, and saw him stretched out, with two smaller, white guys carefully lifting him to a stretcher. It was then I noticed that the bar was empty. "Oh. How long was I out?" I said realizing more time had passed than I thought.
"You were not really `out -- out', ever, Tony. But you were kind of -- well -- out of your mind. Who's Ben? Oh, were you calling for Ben Fisk -- the Elders Quorum President? He's not any more, but - "
"I know. No, it was another Ben. Is -- is -- Fred gonna be okay?""
"I can't say anything for sure, Tony. I just want to make sure that YOU are okay. Both your parents have been notified. They can't do anything but meet us at the Hospital. There was a doctor at the PCC who was able to push Fred's nose back to where it belongs. He also set your cheek bone. I'm afraid both of you may look a little different than you started out. I understand that all this happened because you refused to take a drink?"
I closed my eyes. It was futile to try to make any expression at all, and I felt chagrin, embarrassment and irony. I nodded weakly. I felt myself being lifted onto another stretcher. I thought this was stupid. It was my head that was hurt. But they had to be careful.
I again lost consciousness as the rocking of the ambulance relaxed me. I vaguely remember that someone squeezed off some kind of shot into my arm. Probably why I felt so drunk.
I woke up and we were still riding. I looked into the eyes of one of the EMT's. He smiled at me. "You feeling anything?" He asked. I still had a vision of all those almost black Polynesians, and in contrast, this white EMT looked like an angel. I turned and looked across to the other side of the ambulance. Fred's head was bouncing, and that's when I noticed that mine was too.
Fred was awake and he gave me a chagrinned look. He closed his eyes and a red tear streamed down off his bandaged face. That was the last thing I remembered until they were taking us out of the ambulance. There was the bishop again. "How are you? I heard his echo say. He was looking at Fred. Fred made a noise then cried out.
"He probably won't be able to talk very well for a while sir." Said one of the EMT's.
Bishop turned to me. I gave him a pained smile. He gave me a sad smile and a tear leaked out of one eye. "Your parents should be here any minute."
"Are you Mr. diMarco?" Said a nurse.
I nodded. "Do you know the other man that was brought in with you?"
"You mean -- Fred? Fred Stumpf?"
"Yes -- would you like to be parked near him in the emergency room?"
"Yes -- of course." I said. "He's my friend."
"Is that all he is to you, Tony?" Said Bishop.
I stared blankly into the bishop's face for a moment. "Yes bishop -- that's all." My face again started to hurt. I grimaced and closed my eyes.
The next time I opened my eyes, there was my mom's teary eyes looking down at me. "The bishop tells me they did this to you because you wouldn't take a drink."
I didn't have the energy to explain further. I didn't even have the energy -- or the inclination (I just didn't care) to turn my head. My dad moved into view. "You could have taken the drink, Tony." I smiled -- I think -- at least it felt like I did. I felt movement and then my dad seemed to float out of my view and then lights floated past, and then I saw a high curtain.
My gurney stopped gently. "Your friend, Fred, is right next to you, Tony." My dad said.
I looked over expecting to find Sister Stumf. But his eyes were swollen shut and he was alone. "Mom!" I tried to shout. It came out as a whisper.
"Yes, my darling boy?"
"Please go over and hug Fred. He really needs it right now."
"Oh, Tony, I don't - "
"Just do it, Wendy." Urged my dad.
Mom went over and gingerly lay across him and put her hand on the left side of his face.
"Mommy -- I'm sorry. Tell Tony - - " He said. He then went back to sleep.
Mom came back into my view, eyes brimming even more. "Fred is asleep. He means a lot to you, doesn't he?"
"He's a good friend." I admitted.
I closed my eyes. I was very groggy. I was aware of someone seemingly molding my face like it was clay. Like through a dense fog, I heard a voice, "I think that his face will heal with very little scar tissue. His right cheek will probably always look lower than the left, but only by the most attentive observer. Mr. Stumpf may not be so lucky. There was infection that may have entered through the nose cavity -- to his brain. We are watching him closely and he is getting strong antibiotics through that drip line. We won't know for some time if or what may be affected -- or infected."
I remember wanting to cry, feeling like I should cry, but also having a strange feeling of -- not caring. It was a conflict in my head. It was as if I really wanted to care -- but I couldn't. I was told later that the sedation drug they gave me makes you not care -- even if you feel pain -- you just feel it and - - don't care.
The next time I woke up, I felt a sick feeling -- along with being extremely hungry. I sat up and looked over and Fred was smiling weakly at me. We were put into the same room. "Hi." He said weakly.
"Hi." I said, equally as weak.
"I'm so sorry that I - "
"It's not your fault." I said.
"Yes -- it is!" He said with some amount of power. He winced with pain. "I know how those guys hate white boys! It was stupid to take you there. I thought that if you were with me -- well, I thought wrong -- obviously. Please forgive me"
"Okay -- you had a momentary lapse in judgment. I forgive that. But I don't need to forgive you."
He smiled and winced again. I took two bites of the Jello that they gave me and it came right back up. "Same thing happened to me. Too much blood in the stomach."
The nurse gave me something to drink -- an electrolyte I think. And it also came back up. "Just get him the suppository, nurse." Said Fred.
She looked at him smugly and walked out. In a few moments a young guy -- not any older than I -- came in and said, "I'm gonna roll you over, Tony. Then I gotta stick this up your butt! Okay?" HE flashed something green that was easily as big as his little finger.
A cute boy says he wants to stick something up my butt. Is that okay? Well, I may not care much, but I have not lost my sense of humor! I was careful not to nod too enthusiastically. He put on a plastic glove than
worked some lube into my butt. I relaxed, as he probed -- maybe more than was necessary. Then he put in the suppository, pushing it as far up as he could with two fingers. I caught his face while he pulled them out. As I looked down to his face, even in my weak condition I couldn't miss that there was a tent in his scrubs.
He took off the glove and then came to my face and laid a very gentle hand on it. "That should settle your tummy pretty quickly, Fred."
"I'm Tony."
"Oh -- sorry. You're both -- um -- well, I was confused, that's all." He stammered.
As he left, Fred said, "Bye, Cutie pie!"
He turned and blushed -- and said, "Flattery won't get you another one. Fred!" and left.
"You know him?" I said.
"Yeah, I met him -- this morning -- before you woke up."
"You are quite the flirt1" I said.
"No worries for you though. You know I'd probably self destruct before anything significant could happen."
"Give it a break, Fred!"
"He's too young anyway."
"He's gotta be 18 to be an aid." I said.
I saw on the wall clock that it was 8:30 in the morning. I heard my phone ringing. I looked in the drawer next to me, and sure enough, there was my phone. "Dad?"
"Hi, Tony. We were assured you were gonna be okay, so we came home and slept a couple hours before church. We are going to the Honolulu Tabernacle at 9:00. We'll see you after Sacrament meeting."
"I'm okay, if you want to go to the rest of the meetings."
"Gimme a break, son! I can play hooky once in awhile. We'll be there around 11:00."
"Thanks Dad."
I hung up and noticed there was a message.
"Hey, This is Rollie! Sure glad we met. I just don't know any other guys in my -- um -- situation. I mean you know -- been on a mission and -- all the rest. You know! I was wondering -- do you get over here -- I mean to Oahu -- very often? I'd um -- love to um -- see you again. Let me know. And even if not, we should stay in contact. Well, I hope, I mean -- well, call me anyway -- okay? Bye!"
"Must have been someone you like!" Said Fred. "You were smiling the whole time you were listening."
"Huh? Oh -- yeah. It was a friend." I said. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was Rollie.
I watched the clock. It wasn't that I minded being in the same room with Fred. That was really kind of comforting. But I found I was more excited -- or something -- to see my parents than I would have realized.
At 11:05 I was wondering when they would get here. Then the door opened and I expected to see Mom or Dad. It was Brother and Sister Stumpf. I was happy that they came. I wondered if Fred realized that his mom wasn't really here to see him. As they passed my bed, Sister Stumpf said, "This is the nice boy that I took to Waimea yesterday." to her husband.
"Hello, I'm George Stumpf." He said as he passed by me to his son's bedside.
Then the door opened again. I couldn't see who it was because the door opened in and I was partially behind the door. "Fred!" Came a vaguely familiar voice. Oh, you have visi - " then he saw me. "Tony!!??" His eyes were as wide a saucers. "You didn't tell me Tony was here too!"
"Oh, George, this is the boy I told you about who dove with Freddie yesterday. He has a most magnificent body!"
Rollie came to me. "Oh my gosh, Tony! You look worse than Fred!" he blurted out.
"Thanks!" I quipped, smiling as much as I could. "I haven't seen a mirror yet." Then I moaned because it hurt to smile.
"Oh! Well! Um -- I mean -- I'm sorry, that was kind of crude of me to say. You don't look that -- um -- it's just -- Fred just has that bandage crossing his face. You're all bandaged up and what I can see is -- what happened, anyway?"
I turned over. "I've been putting this off anyway. I gotta go pee something terrible." I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Somehow I was surprised that I could walk.
"Let me help you!" Said Rollie. He took my arm and walked me to the bathroom. He closed the door behind us. "Do you need some help with - "
I was about to tell him no, I could handle it. I decided to just let him help -- though I was perfectly capable. He pulled up my gown let me do the rest. But I have to admit, it WAS hard to look down. Luckily that was the only thing that was hard. I also got a look at my face in the mirror. It was mostly bandages, but what could be seen was black and blue.
As we came out of the bathroom, Brother Stumpf said, "Fred tells us that you are an Elder. Will you help me give him a blessing?"
I felt SO unworthy to be anointing anyone else with oil. But I couldn't turn him down. "Father, please forgive me and make the blessing dependent on the faith of the others." I said silently and quickly. I anointed Fred with oil given me by Brother Stumpf, using the words that apply, and Brother Stumpf gave him the blessing. He asked Rollie to stand in too. I could see he was as uncomfortable as I was. He gave me several chagrinned looks.
"They won't even let you wear your garrmies in here, huh?" Said Brother Stumpf, seeing down my hospital gown. Garmies are a way we sometimes refer to our religious garments.
Without answering directly, I said, "Uh -- they're in my back pack." It wasn't a lie.
"Do you feel like going for a walk?" Asked Rollie. "We can give Fred some privacy with his parents."
The nurse walked in as he was asking. "Is it okay for me to walk out in the hall?" I asked.
"Surely sir -- if you feel up to it, we encourage it. Oh, good you have a friend to help you if you get faint."
Rollie opened the door and I went out and as the door was closing, I heard Fred say, "Kamaaina Fuckers!"
"Freddie!" His mother said. The door closed off anything more. Kamaaina refers to someone who lives in Hawaii. But it also refers to the natives Hawaiians.
"What happened, Tony?" Asked Rollie.
I explained to him what brought us to the hospital. "Yeah, some of those so-called natives have not been here as long as they would like you to think. A lot of them come from Tonga or Samoa -- and think they're Hawaiian!" He said. "Truth is -- some of the whiter people here have been here longer than them. I guess the problem is -- the white missionaries stole everything from the original Hawaiians that were here -- including a lot of our culture."
"I know." I said. "The only missionaries they like -- are the Mormons. They only came and stayed for a few years and went home. Still do!" I added. He smiled. "You know it wasn't easy growing up white in Maui." I said.
"Hrmph! Try growing up Hawaiian with the name `Rollin'!" He chuckled. "How long will you be in here?" asked Rollie.
"Nobody tells me anything. My parent should be here any minute -- maybe -- oh! Mom! Dad!"
"Who told you that you could be out of bed?" Mom said, sternly.
"The nurse. She said - "
"She said that they encourage patients to get up and around as soon as possible." Said Rollie. "I'm Rollie." He extended his hand in typical missionary style."
Rollie shook hands with both my parents.
"Well, obviously you are not the young man that was hurt with Tony." Said my dad, noticing that here was another small Hawaiian boy. "Where is he?" Said Dad.
"He's in the room with his parents." Said Rollie. "I came to see him actually. We sometimes dive together at the falls. I met Tony yesterday at Waimea Falls. So we walked out here to give them some space. I guess now you'll need some space too."
"Not at all, Rollie. It's obvious you served a mission. Where did you go?"
"Switzerland."
Both my parents raised their eyebrows. "A Hawaiian in Switzerland! Now that must have been unique. What language did you speak?"
"Spanish and French. Yeah the Swiss don't have their own language. Others speak Italian and German."
"So -- you had to learn two languages! Wow! How do you do it?" Marveled my dad.
"Oh, you know -- the Gift of Tongues." Said Rollie. "Actually I had to learn quite a bit of Italian and German too -- at least enough to get directions and find the bathroom -- you know."
"So is that what you do -- dive at the falls? What a fun way to make a living!" My mom said.
"Oh that's just for fun. I work for immigration -- the federal government -- as a translator."
"Of course you do!" Said Dad. "I heard there's good money in that."
"It's okay."
"They told us we could take you home today -- if you felt good enough, Tony." Said Dad.
"Now let's not rush him, Lucas. I just don't feel good about him flying this soon!" Said Mom.
"Well, obviously, he won't be working for a few days -- maybe weeks -- but -- I need to get back to work." Dad said. "Did you want to stay here with him, Wendy? Where would you stay?"
"If -- um -- if you think he'd be okay -- he could -- um -- maybe stay at my house." Said Rollie. "I mean -- I think my mom would be fine with it."
"Do you mean that?" My mom asked.
"We have a lot to discuss. Comparing missions and stuff -- you know."
"Well -- Tony is a big man now!" Dad said, "I don't know why we are standing here discussing what he should do."
"You wanna come stay -- at my house, Tony?"
"I think I'd like that. At home I'd just be itching to get back to work. Maybe I can relax here." I said.
Rollie whipped out his phone. "Mom? I'm at the hospital. No no, I'm fine. It's a friend of mine. He needs a place to stay until he is up to flying home -- to Maui. Yes. Yes! Oh Great! Thanks Mom!"
"It will be fine with her. She says it'll be nice to have a couple of boys around the house again."
"So you are the youngest? All your brothers are gone?" My mom said.
"Well -- yeah -- sort of." Said Rollie, smiling sadly. :My brother -- my only brother -- 4 years older than I -- died when he was 19. She still misses him terribly. Well, actually I do too. "We're not exactly rich, so I shared a room with him until -- um -- well, you know."
"Oh, you poor dear! Was it sudden -- or did he have a long term disease?" Mom asked, concerned.
"It was suicide."
That left a silence so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Finally my mom said, "Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry!"
Rollie again smiled sadly. "Thanks, but really, it's okay. I did his temple work a week before I went to my mission -- two and a half years ago. It's been 8 1/2 years since he died. I'm fine and - he's fine!"
We passed a nurse as we went back into the hospital room. Brother and Sister Stumpf looked worried. Their conversation stopped as we entered. "They -- want to keep me -- a couple days more." Said Fred.
"Why?" I said, mystified. "You look a lot better than I do."
"On the outside, anyway. That fu -- er -- that idiot's hand sort of glanced off your face and mine stopped it. They say there may be some neurological damage. I've been a little dizzy since being in here." He slumped down even though his bed was raised. His eyes clouded over and tears came. "I may not be able to dive any more."
"What??!!" Said Rollie.
"I mean diving like we do, Rollie. The twister may be a thing of the past."
Rollie walked over to Fred's bed, and sat next to him. He took his hand and said, You're gonna be fine, Fred. I can feel it. They're just covering their asses in case something happens. You're gonna be diving with me again in a few days!"
"Well, maybe in a few weeks," Said Brother Stumpf, "for now, he will need to take it easy in his cave."
"His cave?" Said Rollie.
"My bedroom is -- literally -- in a cave. It's cool when I want to sleep during the day! You'll have to come see it some time."
"Yeah, it is very cool!" I said. Rollie and both my parents looked at me, surprised that I knew what Fred's bedroom was like. Or maybe that was just my paranoia. "Course I've never slept there, but who wouldn't want to sleep in a cave!" I said awkwardly, then added, "As long as there are no bats!"
"How about you, Tony -- when are you getting out of here?" Asked Fred.
"We talked to the doctor and he can leave today."
"Oh." Said Fred, obviously disappointed.
"But we'll come see you every day you're here!" Said Rollie, trying to cheer him up.
"Thanks. Um - - We?"
"Yeah, me and Tony, he's - " Rollie said brightly, then he paused to look between Fred and me, finishing a little less enthusiastically, "- um -- staying with me for a few days." He said, stroking his chin.
"Well, I'd love the company." Said Fred, recovering quickly -- as always.
We stayed and talked for awhile after all the parents left. Both our moms of course told us to call daily. I really got the feeling that Fred's mom said it just because my mom did. I wondered what was going on in his family.
"My parents really do love me." Said Fred. "And I guess maybe I'm a little old to still be living at home. But -- well -- they have made it so easy to stay, fixing up the pool house for an apartment for me. And it's not as if Dad has ever treated me as anything but his own son."
"Huh?" I said.
"My mom was pregnant with me when they got married. They started dating after it was possible that I was his baby. But they wanted to get married and they have stayed together all these years in spite of -- well, everyone has STUFF -- right?"
"Yeah -- oh yes -- of course!" Rollie and I almost fell over each other, saying it.
"I mean -- me being gay -- has been a great strain on -- everything. So anyway -- I'm -- um -- grateful for -- for -- them accepting it as much as they have."
"My dad kicked me out when he thought the worst one night that I stayed with Ben." I offered.
"Who -- the Elder's president?" Said Fred.
"No -- another Ben. And by the way, Ben Fisk's been released. He's no longer the quorum president. But once Dad kicked me out, I'm afraid I DID do the exact things he assumed I was doing when he kicked me out."
"But then when you got hurt, he came to his senses?" Said Rollie.
"No, my banishment only lasted a week. He talked to the bishop and the bishop reminded him that we should be forgiving, loving, long-suffering -- all that stuff. I moved back in. But -- even after that, I was going to go to California and be with Ben. Then I myself got cold feet -- and an extreme case of guilt. I called off my trip to California. I hurt Ben a lot. But not as much as I hurt myself."
"Wow. That's heavy." Said Rollie.
"That's not the end," said Fred, "tell him what happened next."
"I called to apologize and Ben was - - fine. Thst hurt me even more.
It seemed that he was already in love with his best friend, AL, who came to his aid when I hurt him. Al was deeply in denial about his gayness until that happened. I went to their wedding at the Temple in Laie."
"What? They were married in - "
"Not in -- AT -- the Temple. It was on the beach in front of the Temple. And they aren't even LDS!
"Wo! That's bizarre!" Said Rollie. "And you say -- you were there?"
"Yeah. I was crushed, but -- I think I needed to see it -- almost like someone needs to see the dead body of a loved one before they are buried."
"Ew! Enough of that kind of talk!" said Fred. Laughing. "Oo! That hurts!"
"Yeah!" I said, "Cut that out!" Smiling was hurting my face as well.
A nurse and some kind of attendant came in with a gurney. "I'm afraid we will have to ask you two to move. We have orders to take Mr. Stumpf down for a CT Scan.
"Fuck!" Fred said under his breath.
"It's okay, sir," said the attendant, "I'm Will, and I'm the technician. It's painless and will tell the doctor a lot more about what's happening inside your noggin." Will was a very good looking guy, maybe in his early thirties, and he winked at Fred. That perked Fred up considerably.
"Well, I guess that's gonna be g'bye for now, guys. Come back and see me tomorrow! Maybe there'll be good news!"
"Screw tomorrow!" said Rollie. "We'll be back this afternoon! I wanna see what's happening with my number one diving partner."
"You're a bud!" Said Fred.
"Yeah, but only if you never make me wear that thong again!" We all laughed, and then both Fred and I again moaned from the pain. Will looked on with amused interest.
"Bye!" We all said. I looked back and caught Fred watching us longingly -- even as he was getting ready to be wheeled on his gurney by a very striking looking Technician.
I gathered up my back pack, and signed the papers necessary to check out. They gave me some pain pills and made me ride to his car in a wheelchair -- even though they "encouraged" walking earlier. Strange!
"How did you get here from your Aunt's?" I asked.
"I took the bus home early this morning. Then I drove my car over here." His car was older than mine -- and more beat up. As a matter of fact it looked almost as bad as some of the many heaps that you see on the side of the road in Hawaii. When a car dies here, people just drive it somewhere -- almost anywhere -- and leave it. The state takes care of disposing of it -- eventually -- sometimes years later.
We pulled up to his home -- a very unassuming house in a very unassuming neighborhood. I wouldn't normally mention that, because my own neighborhood isn't that much better. But what surprised me was -- amongst this older, hum-drum neighborhood, in Rollie's back yard, was an Olympic exercise pool, that had to be 15 feet deep. It had 3, 6, and 9 meter diving platforms! That's almost 40 feet high!
"Let's get your stuff into the bedroom." He said. There were 3 bedrooms, but one was used as a den or office. His bedroom had one of those double beds with a twin bunk. "I'll change the sheets for you. I'll sleep on top." It was obvious he usually sleeps on the bottom, as the bed wasn't made yet. "I know I'm a slob! I never make my bed!"
"No way I'm gonna take your bed! I'LL sleep up there!" I said.
"There's not gonna be any argument about this one, Tony. I'm stronger than you and you're the cripple!"
I laughed and again moaned. "Oh -- don't make me laugh!"
"Then don't argue with me. It's my house -- I sleep where I please!" He said. Besides - - you don't know -- maybe I'm a top!" He laughed and I fought the urge to smile -- and lost.
"Well -- okay -- you win. And I assume you mean it's your parents' house -- didn't you ask your mom if you could bring me home?"
"I don't live with my parents. It's only my mom. And it was a courtesy to ask her. I own this hovel -- as humble as it is."
"Oh!" I said, more impressed than I had realized. "Where's your dad?" I said, then seeing the look on his face, I wished I could take the question back.
"Take your foot out of your mouth. It's okay. So what if my dad's an asshole? So what if he was abusive and beat us and my mom up regularly. So what if what he did to us probably caused my brother to kill himself!" His voice became shriller with each sentence and he was red in the face and stopped suddenly, looking embarrassed. Then that was replaced by the sweet face I had started to like so much. "Sorry. I must really be comfortable around you. I don't often go off like that in front of others."
"Wow." Was all I could say.
"He's a real ass hole though. He was a returned missionary when mom met and married him within three months of when they met. I think that's the only stupid thing she ever did -- except maybe staying with him so long. She felt guilty about divorcing after marrying in the Temple. He was excommunicated just before my mission. Nice way to go on a mission, huh? My mission was actually an escape."
"So -- you never see him any more?"
"I was 15 when they divorced and when my brother -- died. As far as I'm concerned, Dad killed him. Well, it saved him from killing Dad. I think he may have if he had to live with the abuse much longer. That ass hole took everything in the divorce. Oh -- did I mention? He's an attorney! Nice, huh?"
I was standing with my mouth open, and by this time he was sitting on his unmade bed. He scrunched up handful of sheet and shook it -- and his head. "Sorry." He said again.
I sat next to him and put my hand on his. He looked up into my bruised and bandaged face. His expression spoke volumes. There was such love in that look! And a world of hurt. My heart melted.
"Let's go out to the pool." He said. "I need to get unstrung."
He turned his back to me and took all his clothes off and put on a relatively loose fitting Speedo. I'm sure he was being somewhat modest, but he probably didn't know what his tight butt was doing to me! "Did you bring something to swim in?"
"I don't think I want to swim just yet." I said.
"Well, at least take your shirt off and soak up some rays."
I scuffed off my sandals and took off my shirt. We walked out to the pool and I lay on the warm concrete. The sun felt pretty good on my face -- through the bandages, of course.
Rollie climbed up to the highest platform. He fell backward and slowly flipped over, also doing a half gainer before plunging into the water. I rolled over to my side to watch him. He went all the way to the bottom and stayed there for a typical Hawaiian --extended time. When he came up, be burst forth from the water like a dolphin and put Fred to shame with his endless laps.
I fell asleep trying to count them. He lay a wet hand on my foot. "And that's how I get unstrung!" He said, his chest heaving rapidly. I opened my eyes and saw his sweet, innocent grin.
"Sorry -- I really did watch most of it." I said. "I think I lost count after about 52 laps."
"Then you slept through about half of them. I did 100." He said, grinning. He climbed out and I lay back on my back again. He lay next to me, his nearly black back to the sun. He reached out and lay his hand on my arm. We both went to sleep that way.
"Dude -- wake up! You're gonna have a really strange looking face, when they take off the bandages and it's white under them. Stripey-face we'll have to call you."
I was sweaty and hot. "I think I better get out of the sun." I said. I feel kinda sick.
"Omigosh!" He said. I'm so sorry! I should have been watching out for you!"
"I'm okay. I just need to get out of the sun." I said as I headed for the house.
As we were coming in the back door, Rollie's mom was coming in the front. "This must be Tony."
She said, and she stepped quickly to me. "Let me see that." She inspected my face and bandages. "Crummy doctors! They think they know so much! They don't know anything!" Sit here!" She commanded. I was in no way going to argue with this woman.
She took off all the bandages. Somehow I knew I was safe. Already I felt better. "Wait here!" she said. Where was I gonna go? She came back with a small bowl, stirring something. "Lay back, Haoli!" I did as commanded. "This is a blend of aloes, poi, and some herbs." She said.
"My mom is an expert herbalist. That's her profession." He said.
"Never mind all that!" She said, brushing off the compliment. She spread the concoction on my wounds. It was a little painful and a little soothing at the same time. "Your bones are broken in the right cheek, but they will heal just fine. And since you're still a boy, it will be a fast heal.
She massaged my cheeks until I wanted scream. Sweat was pouring from my face and -- tears from my eyes -- from the pain. But somehow I felt she knew what she was doing. When she finished, she said, "Rub his forehead like this, Rollin." She stroked my forehead with her fingernails so lightly that I could hardly feel it. Rollie took over from there. "That will ease the pain in his cheek. I will fix some food for us."
Rollie didn't have the finesse that his mother had, but he stroked my forehead gently enough. I looked up into his eyes and again could see pain and -- love. The more he stroked the less pain and the more love that shone in his face - - and the less pain I felt in my cheek.
When she called us to the table for dinner, she placed large plates of food -- rice, beans, pork and chicken -- in front of Rollie and herself. She placed in front of me a large bowl with dark liquid in it. "This will heal you faster. No solids for you just yet.
I grimaced with my first taste. Both Rollie and his mother giggled.
"Pretty nasty stuff, huh? She smiled. "Medicine isn't supposed to taste good. It is supposed to heal good!"
They both kept laughing as I choked down every spoonful.
"I have some books to do. You two don't have the TV too loud."
I thought my powers of observation were better than that. I scanned the living room again for a TV, and saw none. His room was too small for a TV. I wondered if we would be going to his mother's room. He walked over to what I thought was a window -- with drapes in front of them and uncovered a 72" plasma, flat screen TV. "Wow!" I said. "Lot's of surprises here."
"Sorry, we don't have cable or anything. All we have is video." He opened a cabinet that was loaded with DVD's. "What's your pleasure, Sir?" He intoned.
"I -- don't care. You choose."
"Good! Then I choose -- Disney!"
He got out a copy of the latest Herbie movie. I had seen it a few times -- years ago -- but it still made me feel good. It's been awhile since I saw anything rated "G".
When it was time to go to bed, Rollie changed the sheets on his bed and shucked off his shorts and climbed into the upper bed nude. All I saw was his butt again and a little view of his scrotum. "The light switch is just behind the bedframe." He said to me. I was reaching to turn it off, clad in boxers and no shirt, when Sister James came in.
"What's this?" She said. "No, this isn't the way it's gonna be." She said as I lay on top of the covers. " Look at you. How are you gonna heal if you get all cold?"
"I'm not - " I started.
"No -- Rollin, you climb down here and both of you put something on you. Then you will climb under the covers and so what if you sweat a little. Do you want to heal quickly or not?"
Rollie looked at his mom like she was a crazy woman. "I never wear anything to bed, Mom!"
"I know that, silly boy! But you have a friend in need. You get something on and you sleep with him -- under the covers -- and you make sure he stays warm! Do you know what spooning is?"
He shrugged and threw his hands up. "I -- what? Spooning? What? Do we have to go to sleep with spoons in out mouth?"
"I know what spooning is." I said shyly. I put a shirt on and moved over to the far side of the bed.
"Get in there with him, Rollin. Spoon him!"
I turned away from him and told him to lay beside me. "Give me your arm." I said. I carefully lay my left cheek on the pillow and pulled him up close to me.
"Keep him warm -- all night!" She said. She reached behind the bead frame and flipped out the light.
She walked out and closed the door. Almost immediately I felt something thumping my butt. "Holy crap!" Rollie whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry! I didn't expect - "
"Didn't you tell me that you're gay?" I whispered.
"Yeah -- but I never -- did anything like this!"
"What have you done?"
"Wha -- well, nothing -- ever -- with a guy!"
"Oh!" I said. And -- er -- with a girl?"
"I kissed a girl once or twice maybe."
"I'm getting very warm." I said.
"I know. But if my mom says this is what will heal you -- do you want it?"
"You are so deliciously naïve and also sweetly innocent!"
He was obviously as hard as steel and it flexed again. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" He said, but he didn't back away.
"It's okay, Rollie. Look." I placed his hand on my own hard rod. He squeezed it and said,
"What's -- - Oh! -- so it's um -- affecting you too." I involuntarily flexed in answer to the question.
He let go and brought his hand back up to my chest. When he felt the hair there, he again flexed my butt. "I'm sorry!" he said.
"Stop saying you're sorry and just relax. It's completely normal." Up to this point, his body was stiff as a board. He relaxed into me and I hugged his arm. I kissed his fingers. He giggled.
"Guess that's my g'night kiss. "G'night!" He said and he kissed my neck so gently that it sent a shiver through me and I felt a squirt of precum ooze out. He probably felt my butt clench, but all he did after that was relax some more and sigh through his nose- which also tickled my neck and I squirted another one. I smiled to myself.
"Gnight." I said. That was all I remembered of the night.
Notes. Sorry -- sometimes notes only ruin the moment. But comments are wecome, as usual. Thanks for all your comments and encouragement. This may be the most sensitive piece I have written -- and since it deals with thing that I myself deal with -- it is also poignant to me. Thanks! Email to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve