Diffusion of Responsibility Diffusion of Responsibility
by -{BM}-
This story is copyrighted by the author (me!).
***
Hey there, my name is Tom and I'm 14, and yes, I'm gay but still in the closet, thankfully. If I was found out I'm sure that my life would turn into a lonely painful existence as a result of my overly homophobic peers. At my school there is only one kid who everybody knows is gay and his name is Kevin. Sigh... and he's sooooooo cute, anyway back to my story. He's around the same build as me (Weighs around 90 pounds and stands at about 5' 6'') but instead of my baby blue eyes and short cut brown hair he has sexy hazel eyes that hypnotize he every time we make eye contact and longish curly blond hair that I would give anything for the opportunity to run my fingers through it.
Now I'm fairly respected around my school although not as much as the football jocks. I used to play football but quit it because the whole football masculinity stereotype really wasn't my thing and I focused on learning the martial arts instead. I came to the realization that learning to protect myself and those important to me was more important that playing football and having a one in a million chance of actually getting paid for it in the future. I actually became pretty good and have never lost a fight, as a matter of fact I'm going to the state championships for Karate in three weeks.
Anyway back to Kevin, he was found out about a month ago when he tried to crack onto a straight guy who told everybody at school the next day. Of course me being one to always want to please those around me joined in the whispers and the giggles that followed him around school. Comments such as "Seriously, how could you ever suck another guys dick?" and "That just isn't natural" were favorites among the general group of students. No-one ever stood up for him as he walked around by himself, always looking at the ground, never daring to look anybody in the eye.
And then the physical stuff started, at first it was just subtle pushes and shoves in the hallway between classes and then it started to get worse. Groups of people, especially the football jocks would take great delight in hurting him before, after and even during school. I remember watching from afar, hating myself and telling myself that I wasn't as bad as them, but deep down I knew I was for never lifting a finger to help Kevin.
My best friend Lucy explained to me that it's natural for humans to not lend a hand to those in need when there are others watching. You see she's very smart, and has probably read every psychology text book ever printed, she's also very attractive, a slim frame with long blondish-brownish hair and sparkling blue eyes. If I wasn't gay she'd definitely be the one for me, that's for sure. Anyway, it's her dream to get a PhD in psychology and have her own successful practice. I remember the day when she told me why I was reluctant to help Kevin, we were sitting at our usual table by ourselves and she was reading a book... as usual. I noticed Kevin walking across the main courtyard of the school; he always catches my attention, even from a distance. I sighed as I watched him walk, admiring his cute butt,
"Is Kevin around?" Lucy asked suddenly, never raising her eyes from her book.
"How did you know?" I asked. Lucy knew that I was gay but was totally cool with it; she said that homophobia is normally emitted by those who have homosexual urges of their own but are too scared to act on them. And then, as usual cited at least five psychological studies that had examined homophobia, she always cited studies whenever we talked; she was basically a walking textbook.
"Because, you always get so dreamy whenever you see him," she answered, still with her eyes on her book. "Why don't you go over and talk to him?" she asked.
"I couldn't do that," I replied.
"Why not?" she asked, finally raising her eyes from her book as he waited for my answer.
"Why would he want to talk to me? Besides if I talk to him in front of everybody people will think I'm gay," I replied.
"I'm sure Kevin would love to talk to you, I see him checking you out sometimes, along with half of the cheerleading squad," she added with a smile on her face.
"Whatever," I said quickly, ignoring her compliment.
"But seriously Tom," she went on, "You are gay, so why do you care if people know that you are? I'm sure that if anybody, even the footballers gave you any grief you could easily take them down."
"That may be true," I answered, "But I still don't want anybody to know."
"That's your insecure teenager psyche talking," she said as she went back to her book, "And it's also the reason why there are so many gay teenager suicides."
Our conversation was halted when we heard laughter erupt from the footballer's table. My heart sank when I saw Kevin on the ground, holding the side of his head. Obviously the footballers had thrown something at him, something heavy. Lucy scowled.
"Assholes, that's why I hate footballers," she said as she glared over at their table. "They are so ready to conform to the footballer stereotype; big, mean and stupid."
"Poor Kevin," I said, tears starting to well in my eyes.
"Let's go over and help him," she said as she closed her book and put it on the table.
"Uhhh... no, count me out," I said quickly.
"Okay, suit yourself," she said as she walked over and started to help Kevin up. I knew that none of the footballers would dare mock her, apart from the fact that they all think she's totally hot, she also is fairly good at Karate, which is one of the reason why me and her became such good friends in the first place. I remember laughing as she told me all of the crappy pick-up lines they'd said to her over our two years of high school, she always told them to get lost though, it was pretty funny.
She came back and sat down on the table and glared at me.
"What?" I asked.
"You could have come and helped," she said angrily.
"Look, I like Kevin and hate what they do to him but what difference can I make? Besides, what about all of the other people that were watching?" I asked.
She sighed, "Diffusion of responsibility, I didn't know you were that shallow Tom" she said as she opened her book and went back to reading.
"What's diffusion of responsibly?" I asked.
She closed her book again and took a deep breath, "It was found by studying Bystander intervention, a psychological term that examines the actions of people witnessing a situation in which someone appears to require assistance. Many studies have shown that during these situations people tend to base their decisions using a phenomenon called diffusion of responsibility, this means that if there are others present who are not helping the person requiring assistance, this will most likely stop a person from offering their assistance to the person in need. It is believed that this occurs because of people's reluctance to act against the social norms, in other words they think `If no-one else is helping, then why should I?'"
I was speechless, partly because I was amazed at her awesome memory but mostly because I realized she was right. Out of the hundreds of kids that witnessed that incident, only one had the guts to go against the norm and help Kevin out.
"I should have helped him," suddenly feeling ashamed of myself.
"Don't be too hard on yourself, you're a human, it's what we do," she said immersed in her book again.
"So why did you help him then?" I asked.
She sighed, "I'd like to think that I was the small percentage that would have helped him out of the goodness of my heart, but really I think it was because I knew about diffusion of responsibly and how ashamed I was to be a human when I first read about it."
A few moments passed after she said that and the school bell rang, "I've got to go to the library after school so I'll see you around 5:00pm," she said as she got up.
"Rightio," I replied, "I'll pop around your house at 5 then." And then we both went our separate ways.
***
School had just finished and I was on my way home when I heard loud laughter and talking coming from behind the gymnasium, I decided to take a look and see what was so funny. As I came around the corner I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach when I saw Kevin lying on the ground picking up his books as a group of five guys stood around him and laughed at him as he started to cry. A small group of onlookers had formed and were watching the scene with interest,
"What's wrong?" one of them asked as he laughed, "Is the little fag upset that we knocked his books on the ground?"
"Just leave me alone, I've never done anything to you guys," Kevin blubbered as he picked up his last book and stood up.
"Oh no you don't!" another one of the bullies exclaimed as he pushed Kevin who fell over again and lost all of his books. "A pathetic faggot like you isn't allowed to stand up while there are real men around!" he said between laughs.
The rest of the group laughed even harder and one of them even stepped on Kevin's hand as he reached for one of his books. I started to walk away, every step hurting me deep inside, then I heard Kevin cry out in pain and Lucy's words echoed in my head,
`If no-one else is helping, then why should I?'
I stopped walking and turned around; it was time for me to help Kevin. Fuck all this diffusing my responsibility bullshit! I walked back around the corner again. I walked quickly towards the circle of guys around Kevin,
"Hey Tom," one of them said in greeting as I approached them, "Want to help us play with our catch a little longer?" he asked with a giggle.
His last sentence disgusted me, Kevin wasn't even human to them, he was an animal. Something that they've hunted and caught and were now playing with, they acted like they truly believed that he didn't have any feelings at all. At that point I'd had enough, my fists were clenching up by themselves and I immediately started measuring up the five guys around me, deciding which one I should take down first. This was going to stop, and it was going to stop NOW!
"No thanks John," I replied, knowing his name as I played football with him in the past. He had blond hair and hazel eyes and was a little bigger than me, actually our mums used to be really great friends until I stopped playing football. "As a matter of fact I was going to ask you and your four asshole friends here to back off and leave Kevin alone," I added, allowing a small smile to form on my face.
They all looked at me in confusion at that comment, except for Kevin who was looking at me with a faint glimmer of hope in his eyes, something that stopped the little voice in the back of my head that was telling to stop this act of heroism and conform to everybody else.
"What the fuck?" said Wayne, the largest one in their group and the one I planned to hit first if push came to shove. He was a big Hispanic kid who played guard for the football team "Do you know who this is?" he asked.
"Sure I do," I replied, "He's Kevin."
"No," another one of them said angrily, "He's a fag."
"No," I insisted, "He's just Kevin."
"What the fuck is your problem Tom?" Wayne asked as he stood over me. I wasn't intimidated by his size; normally really big guys have never been in a proper fight in their life as they get everybody to do their dirty work. Also I've fought guys bigger than Wayne in competitions and won.
"Don't tell me you're a fag Tom," John said with a hint of disgust in his voice.
"No, I'm not," I answered, deciding to lie. After all I was here to help the kid, not to reveal my sexuality to these guys!
"So then what is you're fucking problem then?" asked Wayne again.
"You guys picking on Kevin is my problem Wayne you dumb fuck," I replied. I smiled as his face scrunched up in anger and he swung at me. His attack was slow and I could see his fist from a mile away and automatically kicked the side of his knee and punched his sternum in quick succession. These two hits brought him down quickly and the next two closest, John and another guy lunged at me and I targeted one of them first, kicking him square in the balls and then spun around and hit John square on the nose, the crack that sounded as I made contact told me that his nose was now most likely broken. The other two just stood there and gaped at me,
"Get the fuck out of here," I said and they both scampered away, followed quickly by Wayne who was limping, John who was holding his nose and by the other guy who was running in a way that nearly made me laugh as he tried to run fast but also nurse his balls at the same time. The crowd of onlookers started to dissipate slowly and I focused my attention back on Kevin, who was now gathering his books,
"Here let me help," I said as I bent down and helped him pick them up. As I helped him I couldn't help but be hypnotized by his beauty, normally I admire him from afar but actually being this close to him was making me short of breath and I was noticing a stirring in my pants which I tried to ignore.
"Thanks," he said as I handed him his books when we both stood up. Wow! I think this is the first time I've ever talked to him, his voice had a sweet teenage rasp to it and was causing my problem `downstairs' to flare up with intensity.
"No problem," I replied. A few moments of silence passed and we smiled at each other nervously, me cursing my brain for shutting down during such an important moment.
"Well uhhh... I'd better be going," he said as he turned away. No, come on Tom! Say something!
"Uhhh..., where do you live?" I asked. Ohhh... great question dumbass!
"Ummm... Henry Street, about 2 kilometers away," he replied and I wasn't sure due to his tanned skin, but I suspected that he was blushing.
"Really?" I replied too loudly, we both giggled at how loud I said that comment although I was mentally kicking myself. "Actually I live on the next street so do you mind if I walk home with you?" I asked hopefully.
"Okay," he replied with a sweet smile that nearly caused my legs to give way.
As we walked and talked I was amazed at how Kevin could be so good hearted and laugh and giggle when his life is like it is. If I had to go through some of the stuff that he's gone through I would have refused to go to school by now or would have beaten the crap out of somebody. As he talked I found myself hanging onto every word that came out of his ruby red lips, saving them in my memory to relive these moments later.
"Oh, this is my house," he said suddenly as we approached a house that I've walked past hundreds of times, and never realized who it belonged to.
"It's nice," I said, keen to keep our conversation going for as long as possible.
"Thanks, do you want to come in?" he asked with a hint of hope in his voice.
"Sure," I replied, trying not to show the excitement that was filling up my body. Wow, I'll actually get to go inside his house!
We opened the gate and walked through his front yard to reach the front door. Kevin opened it and walked in with me following him,
"Mum! I'm home and I brought a friend," he yelled.
"Okay dear," came a voice from somewhere in the house. "I'm about to go out and get some shopping, if you and your friend want anything to eat you'll have to make it yourself."
"Ok," Kevin answered as he started to walk up the stairs to the second floor of his house. He opened the first door on the right and we both walked into his room.
"Wow!" I exclaimed as I looked at the posters lining his walls. "You like the Foo Fighters and Radiohead too?" I asked.
He laughed, "I take it you guessed from all of the posters huh?"
"Yeah," I replied, still studying all of the posters with awe, he had so many!
He dumped his bag on his desk and walked over and sat down on his bed. I moved over and sat on the only chair in the room. I noticed that he had a fair bit of awesome stuff in his room, a TV with a couple of consoles and games, a computer and even a bookcase full of the latest sci-fi books and all of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles!
"Wow! I love the Vampire Chronicles," I said in admiration as I looked at all of the titles he had.
"You can take some home with you if you want," he offered as he smiled at me. God damn! Every time he smiled at me my stomach seemed to jump into my throat, this kid was so cute it was almost painful to sit near him.
"So your parents must be pretty loaded then huh?" I said trying to start conversation and immediately regretted saying anything when I saw his expression sadden.
"M-my Dad left us for a woman that works in a huge law firm in Chicago, his weekly cheques are the only reminder I have of him," he said sadly.
"Oh... sorry," I said, (Stupid stupid stupid!)
"It's okay, he's an asshole anyway. He left us soon after he found out I was gay. I think that may have been one of the reasons why he decided to leave," he said with a sad smile.
"Don't say that," I said forcibly, causing him to look at me in surprise. "I'm sure that he leaving had nothing to do with you."
"Yeah sure," he said with a hint of sarcasm. "It seems like my sexuality hasn't just messed up my life now, its messed up my mums and probably yours too."
"Mine?" I asked in confusion.
"Yeah, since you helped me I'm willing to bet that those guys will spread rumors about you tomorrow. I'm sorry," he said as tears started to form in his eyes.
"Hey," I said as I got up and sat next to him as he cried, "Don't worry about it, I just couldn't stand to see you get hurt anymore."
"Maybe I deserve it," he sobbed, "You're such a nice person Tom, why did you bother to associate yourself with me?"
I didn't know what it was but at that moment I knew that I loved this boy sitting next to me. I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek,
"Because I love you Kevin," I said.
After I moved my head back he sat there for a few seconds with a shocked expression on his face. I started to think that maybe I'd made a mistake and I'd better be going before he rejected me but then he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me excitedly on the lips between words,
"Wow! Oh Tom you've made me so happy. You're so kind and beautiful and I've been admiring you from afar, wanting to be with you and now that you said that, it seems like my life is finally complete," he said quickly as he continued to kiss me.
I was stunned; he'd been admiring me from afar? But I've been admiring him from afar for ages and when I told him so he just looked at me like I was mad,
"You were admiring me? That's crazy," he said with a laugh.
"It's true," I said, "You're like the hottest guy in school."
He leaned forward and kissed me, this time the kiss lasted for much longer and I moaned when I felt his tongue enter my mouth timidly. Our tongues danced together for what seemed like an eternity and after we finally stopped kissing he gave me a smile that nearly made my heart melt,
"Second hottest," he said as he smiled at me.
I was about to argue but he covered my mouth with his again and we started to kiss with renewed passion. I moaned when he started to suck on my neck and reached his hand down and started to unzip my pants. I lifted my butt up off the bed to make it easier for him and he pulled my pants and boxers down on one go, my now fully erect six inches sprung up and he wrapped his hand around it gently and started to masturbate me slowly as we kissed.
"I love you Kevin," I managed to moan between kisses.
He answered by moving his head downwards and swallowing my penis in one gulp.
"Oh Gooooooood..." I whimpered as he started to suck on my sensitive member.
I was already close before he started and after a minute of pure bliss where my cock was the property of his hot, wet mouth I whimpered and decided to warn him,
"Kevin... Ahhhh... I'm close!" I managed to blurt out but he never stopped and I started to rub his hair as I felt my orgasm coming closer and closer. When it reached the surface I started to moan and whimper uncontrollably as I filled his mouth with my seed, he swallowed it all and never spilled a drop. He kept sucking even after I'd finished and I begged him to stop, he let my now flaccid penis slide out of his mouth and he moved his head back up next to mine and we started to kiss again, I could still taste some of my own juices in his mouth and for some reason, that made me hungry for his cock. I reached my hands down and started undoing his pants and he moaned in anticipation. Once his pants were down and his six inches was free I moved my head down and decided to tease him. I slowly licked around the head and repeatedly ran my tongue over his piss slit. He started to fidget when I ran my tongue up and down his shaft so I decided not to keep him waiting any longer; I swallowed his cock and started to bob up and down on it as I used my tongue to bring him to new levels of pleasure, I felt his penis expand in my mouth,
"Oh... Toooooom!" he exclaimed as he started to shoot his boy juices down my throat. When he was finished I moved my head back up to his and we started to kiss again.
That afternoon I lost count at how many times we got our rocks off. It seemed that after we had both given all the fluids we had to give it only took ten minutes of making out to get us hard again. We even tried a 69, wow, it was awesome! The time flew by until I looked at his bedside clock and was shocked when it read 5:10pm.
"Shit, I was supposed to go over Lucy's at 5," I said as I got up out of bed and started to get dressed.
"You can't go out like that," said Kevin as he giggled. I looked at myself, he was right, I was covered with sweat and cum from our adventures all afternoon.
"Come for a shower with me, you can borrow some of my clothes" said Kevin as he got up started to walk towards his door.
"What about your mum?" I asked.
He giggled, "Don't worry, every time she goes shopping she stops by her friends place down the road and they drink wine and watch TV for hours."
We both walked into the bathroom completely naked and I found myself getting hard as I looked at Kevin's perfect butt. God I loved being a teenager! We showered together and washed each other after sucking each other off again. When we finally stopped the water and stepped out I was truly spent, I'd lost count of the number of times I've ejaculated this afternoon.
***
I knocked on Lucy's front door and smiled at Kevin who was standing beside me while I waited for her to answer. I decided to bring him with me, after all, he and Lucy are on good terms and I just love to be around him. He's like a drug that I need a constant hit of every couple of minutes; I had no idea how I was going to survive when we had to go home tonight. Hmmm... maybe he could sleep over...
Lucy opened the door and looked at me impatiently,
"It's not like you to be late..." she started but stopped when she saw Kevin standing beside me.
"Come on in guys," she said as she moved out of the doorway and motioned us inside. She smiled at me when I walked in and I smiled back, I think she knew what was going on.
"Go into the first room on your right Kevin," she said as we walked down the hallway. "Tom and I will get the drinks ready," she added as she grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen.
When we entered the kitchen I was about to say something when she suddenly blurted out, "You hooked up and had sex all afternoon, didn't you?" she asked as her blue eyes sparkled with excitement.
My jaw dropped and I put my hand over her mouth as she started to giggle, "You did!" she whispered excitedly. "So what happened?" she asked.
"Well, I decided not to diffuse my responsibility," I replied with a grin.
She just laughed, "Let's go get the drinks ready, your boyfriend is waiting," she said when she finished laughing. I followed her, already pining for the other half of my soul that was sitting in the next room.
The End. (Or is it?)
***
Do you enjoy reading gay teen stories? Then visit GayAuthors! The site has a massive story archive and a forum where you can talk with readers and authors about your favorite stories!